I was certainly not expecting my story that I wrote when I was 14 to be narrated like this tbh! Hella awesome! I do have to agree with the commenters here on some instances. I wish that I could have done stuff different with this story too. Being almost 24 now and made many more stories since 2014, I certainly see the age with this story. At least I managed to give people some happiness in the 2010's with the story, but I agree that it didn't age well. Papa Grande's Origin is more detailed and is more gripping, same with The Finale. (the direct sequal to TMSFH that I wrote last year) Thank you for this narration! I will be the first creator to admit that I have thankfully improved since this story. ^^
Mystical sorcery, Hi, Sorry if my criticism of your story seemed harsh. It was meant to be more constructive criticism. Did not know you did this at such a young age of 14. I have done stories here myself that some people did not like too. I guess with many stories-some people will like it and some people will not-goes with the territory I guess. Wishing you the best in life & your future writings.
Ah yes, thank you good doctor. It was a bit confusing with the rapid POV changes, to be honest, but I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's hard for me to retain information, lol. Still, good story - just wish it didn't do those POV changes (at least not while the story is progressing, it would've been fine if it were recalling the already transpired events from their POV respectively, imo). Thanks again, and hope you're doing well. The extra content and longer videos recently have been absolutely delightful, by the way!
DR. Creepen please do enjoy your vacation in August and your fans will be waiting for more stories when you return. Please do not burn yourself out doing stories in August, unless you want to. We can wait for your return. Enjoy vacation.
😯👀😯 My eyes were the size of plates almost the entire time. It's weird but this story made me miss my brother. I guess because I always followed him around, lol. I really liked your most recent song over on your other channel Dr. Creepin. I've listened to it at least four or five times. I really enjoy the energy levels that I get from it too. It's hard to explain how that works. Anyways, have a safe and fun trip! Thanks to you and the author of this story!
Well Dr, you did what you do best and as expected you always are exceptional. This one just fell flat for me. Aside from the other comments that I made, how exactly does one tell a detailed story through the eyes of 3 people, after they’re all dead? Now that would’ve been magic! And as so many issues plagued this one, I must admit that I am not surprised. The title and first 3-5 minutes were promising, but that I’m afraid is nowhere near enough to satisfy an entire hour and 12 minutes. But, as so, so, many of your choices are winners, one can only expect one to come along and not make the cut. So I suppose it’s me being spoiled from all of your usual excellence! Thanks for the hard work you put into each piece, as it never goes unnoticed. 👏👏👏👏👍
Jack, I agree. I found this story too confusing. A more enjoyable magic show story to me was by Creepypasta Narrator-Mr. Tremble called " Terrifying Country Fair of Appalachia. Horror story." Please try that one. It was very good! 😊
@@jackdurden466 You're welcome. the story is called "Terrifying Country fair of Appalachia. Horror story" by Mr. Tremble. I misspelled some words originally saying county instead of country. Sorry. Enjoy story.
Good evening Doctor, and good evening all!! Hope you are all having a great week so far! My weekend is now in progress.....Well, my first (Short) weekend anyway....I have 2 LOL. Looking forward to this one, always like an Urbex story, something I've done myself, so it makes it feel a bit more real than some!
I’ve long since held my tongue from critique of these stories, but this has so much unnecessary and poor dialogue. Aside from that and the lack of detail where there should be, such as Who is Mary? Why is she of any special importance? How old is Rose? And both Mary and Jasper? That makes quite the difference. Why would you refer to the customers/audience members as “civilians”? It’s not a military display. And the constant switching of POVs, sure a new or unique aspect, is far too often, it could’ve been used to a much better effect.
Great narration and decent story. Note to author, saying "insert name's POV" and constantly changing point of view in that manner is very disjointed and overly repetitive. May work for visuals a screen script but this is story telling it brings you out of the story.
So Sorry, even though I thought this story was well-written. I was Zoning-Out with this one. This story was not the easiest to follow and got too confusing for me. A more enjoyable creepypasta magic show horror story in my opinion would be "Terrifying Country Fair of Appalachia. Horror Story." Narrated By Mr. Tremble. Try that one if you like Creepy Magic Show Horror stories. Plus Enjoy your vacation Dr. Creepen. You deserve it! ❤
I dont believe that the writer of this story has ever seen movies like "The Omen" or "Green Inferno"..... Go watch those and then tell me that its always "Good Overcoming Evil for a Happily ever after". Lmmfao!!!
@@mysticalsorcerylol. I grew up on these types. But when I was 14 it was The Exorcist ,Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, & Micheal Myers. Lol. Oh and the ever so popular "Faces Of Death" movie series. Those always did well @ the "Terrace Twin" movie theaters. Lol.
@glencalhoun9544 I was super into slasher/sci-fi horror back in the day. When I wrote this story, I kinda did it for fun and didn't expect it to blow up. Now I kinda just wish my more modern works were read. (This story is almost 10 years old-)
You did amazing to have been so young when you wrote this!!! I honestly would never have guessed. Has any of your more recent work been narrated? I'd deff give it a listen. I work 8-10hrs a day 7 days a week, so I don't have the time to read books at this time. But I do listen to narrations all day long while working.
@glencalhoun9544 Devil-luce narrated Papa Grande's entire origin story, it's suuuper long though! Other than that, the other stories have been kinda ignored. x-x And thank you!! Honestly, not many people know how old TMSFH actually is xD
This story had such great promise and potential at the start for me! But it was too slow moving and did not pay off in the end in my opinion. Like How old was everybody? The character Mary just seems to pop up out of nowhere and who was she? I guess a friend to Jasper and Rose? I wish Jasper, Rose and Mary were described in much greater detail. How Each individual looked and their ages. They did mention at 4:54 when Mary called "Jasper." the teen shouted back. So, they were all teens, I guess? But much more detail was needed for me. Disappointing story to say the least. Sorry, just my opinion is all.
I agree with what some of the other people are saying here. This story is too wordy, Way too slow moving, and the use of POV was way overdone, actually made story even less enjoyable. Sorry All the POV use does not add to the story! Needed more detail too on how Jasper, Rose and Mary looked and their ages! Would have helped the story more. Good idea for a story though. But kind of a wasted opportunity in my opinion. Too bad!☹
I was certainly not expecting my story that I wrote when I was 14 to be narrated like this tbh! Hella awesome! I do have to agree with the commenters here on some instances.
I wish that I could have done stuff different with this story too. Being almost 24 now and made many more stories since 2014, I certainly see the age with this story.
At least I managed to give people some happiness in the 2010's with the story, but I agree that it didn't age well. Papa Grande's Origin is more detailed and is more gripping, same with The Finale. (the direct sequal to TMSFH that I wrote last year)
Thank you for this narration! I will be the first creator to admit that I have thankfully improved since this story. ^^
Mystical sorcery, Hi, Sorry if my criticism of your story seemed harsh. It was meant to be more constructive criticism. Did not know you did this at such a young age of 14. I have done stories here myself that some people did not like too. I guess with many stories-some people will like it and some people will not-goes with the territory I guess. Wishing you the best in life & your future writings.
@@SonnyCorleone-tg1ik No worries! I've certainly improved since this story was written.
Hope your doing Alright Doctor you've been pushing Content out pretty quick. Don't burn yourself out brother we love ya.
I appreciate that
Ah yes, thank you good doctor. It was a bit confusing with the rapid POV changes, to be honest, but I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's hard for me to retain information, lol. Still, good story - just wish it didn't do those POV changes (at least not while the story is progressing, it would've been fine if it were recalling the already transpired events from their POV respectively, imo). Thanks again, and hope you're doing well. The extra content and longer videos recently have been absolutely delightful, by the way!
If 9am is "late in the morning" i'm scared to know what early in the morning is.
Thank you for reading me to sleep, Doc, as per usual.
Love ya doc. Been listening to you since I was a teenager. I appreciate your dedication more than you could ever know.
DR. Creepen please do enjoy your vacation in August and your fans will be waiting for more stories when you return. Please do not burn yourself out doing stories in August, unless you want to. We can wait for your return. Enjoy vacation.
Thank you can’t wait to listen to it on my home from work
Enjoy!
That’s that I’m doing now!
Weird bell in the background sounds like my phone going off the whole time
Another fine evening of stories brought to you by the wonderful Dr. Creepen 😊
Nnv
Thank you Dr. Creepen for another awesome story. Enjoy your vacation❤
Perfect timing and a perfect time. Much love and respect Dr Creepen ❤
Heard this one years ago. An oldie but a goodie!
Just saw this in my recommended videos, and the name alone is enough to get me interested. 😂
My drink tonight is ice tea well wishes from Texas, USA
Off the beginning I assumed the end great story friend
Fantastic Dr! Always love the way you read, it's relaxing 😎
Glad you enjoy it!
@@DrCreepen always enjoy buddy! Even listen on Creeping too 😎
😯👀😯 My eyes were the size of plates almost the entire time. It's weird but this story made me miss my brother. I guess because I always followed him around, lol. I really liked your most recent song over on your other channel Dr. Creepin. I've listened to it at least four or five times. I really enjoy the energy levels that I get from it too. It's hard to explain how that works. Anyways, have a safe and fun trip! Thanks to you and the author of this story!
I am completely and utterly not first. In fact, I'm so far behind, but I'm trying.
Thank you. This made my night.
Brian, You do not have to be the first comment. Just enjoy the stories!😊
Thanks Doctor Creepen
Reminds me of The Wizard of Gore, a pretty splattery horror film.
😎Hello Dr. Creepen, thanks for another cool story.
Hope you enjoy your vacation.. 🏖️⛺️🏝️🫧🍾🫧
Thank you! You too!
Oh? A late night snack and a bedtime story from the kind doctor? Don’t mind if I do 😊
So I fell asleep and finished this at work. Dear gods. What an ending. What an ending.
Just bought a hoodie, thank you so much for serenating us all to sleep with you lovely voice 🖤 (you also get me through work)
Hope you enjoy it!
Shout-out to the doc!
Thank you Dr Creepen for the awesome pasta. Props to the author as well. This one was good. 🖤🖤
Glad you enjoyed it!
Hi there good evening im writing at 1 am and 1 minute and wish everyone a good Listen to the storie
So 1 hr ago it was 1am there and 1 hr ago was 7pm here. Where do u live may I ask?
01:01
Well Dr, you did what you do best and as expected you always are exceptional. This one just fell flat for me. Aside from the other comments that I made, how exactly does one tell a detailed story through the eyes of 3 people, after they’re all dead? Now that would’ve been magic! And as so many issues plagued this one, I must admit that I am not surprised. The title and first 3-5 minutes were promising, but that I’m afraid is nowhere near enough to satisfy an entire hour and 12 minutes. But, as so, so, many of your choices are winners, one can only expect one to come along and not make the cut. So I suppose it’s me being spoiled from all of your usual excellence! Thanks for the hard work you put into each piece, as it never goes unnoticed. 👏👏👏👏👍
Jack, I agree. I found this story too confusing. A more enjoyable magic show story to me was by Creepypasta Narrator-Mr. Tremble called " Terrifying Country Fair of Appalachia. Horror story." Please try that one. It was very good! 😊
@@Chrissy-j6v thank you! And I absolutely will! Finally someone has the nerve to agree that it wasn’t “fantastic!”
@@jackdurden466 You're welcome. the story is called "Terrifying Country fair of Appalachia. Horror story" by Mr. Tremble. I misspelled some words originally saying county instead of country. Sorry. Enjoy story.
A Creepypasta a Day is supposed to keep the Dr away.
Lol Thanks for tonight's entertainment Good Dr
The only doctor I've ever wanted to see.😁
Doc your the best 🎉
the lawrence welk of horror--a wunnifal a wunnifal a wunniful! And now the Lemon sisters will . ..
Cheers, good, Dr.
Most welcome!
Have fun on your holiday ~
Thank you, I will
Good evening everyone.
Good evening Doctor, and good evening all!! Hope you are all having a great week so far! My weekend is now in progress.....Well, my first (Short) weekend anyway....I have 2 LOL. Looking forward to this one, always like an Urbex story, something I've done myself, so it makes it feel a bit more real than some!
With a title like that, how can you not listen?
Thank you M❤
😮😊
Good story I didn't see that ending at all. Also I will agree the pov changes were somewhat confusing and didn't benefit the story imo.
Great story, but it was hard to the listen to. The POV shifts where unnecessary and decreased from the story.
I agree
😎👍
🤯
Sounds Scary🙄
💖
🍻
Little cheesy sometimes but I liked it overall
❤🎉😊
✅
I’ve long since held my tongue from critique of these stories, but this has so much unnecessary and poor dialogue. Aside from that and the lack of detail where there should be, such as Who is Mary? Why is she of any special importance? How old is Rose? And both Mary and Jasper? That makes quite the difference.
Why would you refer to the customers/audience members as “civilians”? It’s not a military display. And the constant switching of POVs, sure a new or unique aspect, is far too often, it could’ve been used to a much better effect.
How old are thay Suppose to be thay seem to be quite young you can't sulk when someone trying to kill you it's ok doe thank you for the story
too wordy,too many useless details...20 minutes in and nothing has happened
Great narration and decent story. Note to author, saying "insert name's POV" and constantly changing point of view in that manner is very disjointed and overly repetitive. May work for visuals a screen script but this is story telling it brings you out of the story.
So Sorry, even though I thought this story was well-written. I was Zoning-Out with this one. This story was not the easiest to follow and got too confusing for me. A more enjoyable creepypasta magic show horror story in my opinion would be "Terrifying Country Fair of Appalachia. Horror Story." Narrated By Mr. Tremble. Try that one if you like Creepy Magic Show Horror stories. Plus Enjoy your vacation Dr. Creepen. You deserve it! ❤
🔥Whoop Whoop homie🔥
Smoke some grass and chill on your ass
✌🏻🐵💨✌🏻
Not a fan of this one. The POV changes were completely unnecessary and detracted from an otherwise ok story.
I dont believe that the writer of this story has ever seen movies like "The Omen" or "Green Inferno"..... Go watch those and then tell me that its always "Good Overcoming Evil for a Happily ever after". Lmmfao!!!
I didn't when I was 14, I'll tell ya that much. :)
@@mysticalsorcerylol. I grew up on these types. But when I was 14 it was The Exorcist ,Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, & Micheal Myers. Lol. Oh and the ever so popular "Faces Of Death" movie series. Those always did well @ the "Terrace Twin" movie theaters. Lol.
@glencalhoun9544 I was super into slasher/sci-fi horror back in the day. When I wrote this story, I kinda did it for fun and didn't expect it to blow up. Now I kinda just wish my more modern works were read. (This story is almost 10 years old-)
You did amazing to have been so young when you wrote this!!! I honestly would never have guessed. Has any of your more recent work been narrated? I'd deff give it a listen. I work 8-10hrs a day 7 days a week, so I don't have the time to read books at this time. But I do listen to narrations all day long while working.
@glencalhoun9544 Devil-luce narrated Papa Grande's entire origin story, it's suuuper long though! Other than that, the other stories have been kinda ignored. x-x
And thank you!! Honestly, not many people know how old TMSFH actually is xD
Jaamine was a guy???
This story had such great promise and potential at the start for me! But it was too slow moving and did not pay off in the end in my opinion. Like How old was everybody? The character Mary just seems to pop up out of nowhere and who was she? I guess a friend to Jasper and Rose? I wish Jasper, Rose and Mary were described in much greater detail. How Each individual looked and their ages. They did mention at 4:54 when Mary called "Jasper." the teen shouted back. So, they were all teens, I guess? But much more detail was needed for me. Disappointing story to say the least. Sorry, just my opinion is all.
Mary and Jasper were 15 and 16 ^^ Rose was about 8
@@mysticalsorcery Ok, Thanks. 😊
@@SonnyCorleone-tg1ik No problem!~ Honestly, I love to answer stuff like this since it was stuff I looked over years ago, lol.
Great narration as usual, mediocre story.
Why do you read such horrible stories about kids getting killed and R’d 🙄🙄👎🏻👎🏻 you got a weird mind
Nope didn't like it 😕
I agree with what some of the other people are saying here. This story is too wordy, Way too slow moving, and the use of POV was way overdone, actually made story even less enjoyable. Sorry All the POV use does not add to the story! Needed more detail too on how Jasper, Rose and Mary looked and their ages! Would have helped the story more. Good idea for a story though. But kind of a wasted opportunity in my opinion. Too bad!☹
👋😃👋 THANKS! 😘
Welcome!