Laying The Foundation for My Deconstruction Story
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Hello, lovely reader. I hope all is well. In this video, I go through my background and help to provide some context for future videos I intend to post regarding my deconstruction process. In this video, I discuss my fundamentalist upbringing and use some of my life events to set the stage for what would become one of the most challenging journeys of my entire life. All in all, this video really just helps you to understand who you are talking to and what my experience with Christianity looks like.
Thank you all so much for your time.
I was raised a fundamentalist as well, Christian schools and all. Eventually that world fell apart on me. So I get it. I think these video blogs are a healthy way to process what you are going through. To capture that journey of transformation.
At some point I realized that the Bible is more a work of mythology than history. So I had a lot to deconstruct. Though after a decade of deconstruction, I actually re-engaged in the mystery of Being and Consciousness, through a more mystical approach to the faith.
I still think the Hebrew God is as mythological as those of other cultures (Egyptian, Persian, Greek, Roman, Norse, Aboriginal, etc.). But as I take the stories of the Bible more as mystical, rather than literal, I find that what these symbolic stories ultimately point to is quite profound.
In contemplative prayer (meditation), I find that there is an inner pool of refreshment. And thus our "water bottles" are never meant to run dry, but rather flow as a river of Living Water from our innermost being. So I do find some Substance to these stories, but they are just stories. And thus they require some discernment and wisdom in how to read them.
But like you, I've rather abandoned a focus on the afterlife. For me, that is simply not what true spirituality is actually about. Instead I think it is about the transformation of the heart. And thus for me, spirituality is about our INNER LIFE, rather than the afterlife.
Anyhow, I'm enjoying your videos. And I hope such lead to meaningful insights and connections!
Meanwhile, I love the four leaf clover story! Tattoo and all. So good!
Hey I appreciate it so much. I think you really captured what this is about. It’s about our inner lives and how it changes the behavior of our hands.
If I had one verse I had to dedicated as my “life verse” it would be James when he says, “show me your faith and I’ll show you my works”
I want to do something. I appreciate the support.
@@phillip-england
There is an authenticity and humility to your vlog that I so appreciate. The struggle with addiction is a heart-wrenching one. But I love seeing that you are becoming the kind of father that your daughter can look up to and be proud of. Humble, kind, and compassionate…and a seeker of wisdom and truth.
“Doing” is important, but “BEING” perhaps even moreso! Who you are becoming is a model for the next generation. That is huge! To be a father is an immense privilege. To have such an intimate impact on another heart is a great inspiration to embrace the pathway of inner transformation!
And I liked your Santa Claus analogy. Fictional characters can still inspire real transformation. We are a narrative people. Our stories matter. Here, you are capturing your story. And how you tell it matters!
With love, if I heard you speak with no context, I would know that you come from a charismatic, evangelical, fundamentalist background. Your voice, accent, and cadence are all steeped in it. I can just imagine you leading prayer at a youth summer camp or something 😅. This is just a comment on how upbringing or indoctrination affects every part of us.
To share a little of my story back to you:
I essentially tried everything, tried so hard to feel that God was real. And I literally just never ever felt it. I always felt like something was wrong with me because He was reaching out to everyone else but not me, even though I was crying out and doing everything right on paper.
One day in around 2018, I remember thinking "I think it's time I let this go", and I did. And I feel so much happier, lighter, less guilty. I don't feel alone, I don't feel worried about hell. I feel safe to ponder and explore and doubt.
But I understand it's hard. Seven years down the line and I still don't have the heart to tell my parents, but I think they know, deep down. And I know they're still praying for me every day.
Also if you haven't seen it yet, I would strongly recommend Rhett and Link's deconstruction content
Also also, I made a video about my experience too. It's on my page called "I was in a dangerous christian church" and in it I include actual clips of my ex pastor preaching about "sinfulness of doubts" and how you have to believe everything in the bible as written or you can just throw everything away entirely
Also chick fil a is actively homophonic and actively harms queer people, so I'm not so sure about that positivity you mentioned 😅
Final also: congrats on your recovery