@@joshuakarr-BibleManTo bad that's not biblical. If anything sackcloth is the most representable. We are supposed to be humble. If anything what I have noticed in the church are people focusing more on fashion rather then the gospel. It's vanity over truth. Please take time with Christ today. God bless you and Happy Sabbath day. ❤
@@NOPE-po2pq How do you take the parable of the wedding guests? The one without an appropriate garment had no reason not to dress up, and he was thrown out. Not owning fine clothing because it's too expensive is one thing, but it is disrespectful to go to church in sweats and pajamas just because there's no dress code.
I kept waiting for a cigar smoking, “To our first time visitors, you may leave feeling a little dizzy after your first dose of superior theology starts to undo things you were told at other churches.”
Missed opportunity of "Welcome to Holy Rollers Pentecost Church, where the pastor is likely to swing his jacket at you while yelling gibberish. If that doesn't scare you first time guests away, then congrats, you have been clearly healed of any PTSD while here." Thanks Keith, got some great laughs outta this whole video. 😂
@@williammisener2389 at my church we're not unwelcoming, but our pastor/elder does not acknowledge visitors practically at all from the front. There are no visitor cards to fill out, no committee, etc. Someone will just find you after worship and introduce themselves.
Our Presbyterian WAS until congregation became less born and raised members. Now we welcome visitors by both usher and individual members . Pastor in sanctuary before service to individually introduce himself. We are also member of evangelical Presbyterian denomination. We have seen some of these especially stand up one!
I started going to a Reformed Presbyterian church in March. I’ve been going every Sunday and to other church held events. I still haven’t talk to all the regulars but we recognize each other so that’s good enough. Lol
At my church (a Baptist church), the pastor has a time every service where we go around shaking hands. Not just with visitors. He just says "as the pianist plays through this next verse lets shake someone's hand and make one another feel welcome. If you're a visitor, we're glad to have you."
How about "denominations lost in the woods"? Methodists strip to share body heat. IFB use their ccws to get deer, Presbyterians use their cigars to start a fire, etc...?
The most shocking one I ever got was at a Free Methodist church when right after the processional hymn the pastor quickly said, "If you are a regular here, sit down!" Everyone sat with lightening speed except us visitors who were really confused. After giving us the usual welcome panthlets, service went on as normal. Got lots of friendly, warm-hearted greetings from everyone during coffee hour.
That’s nothing compared to what most “generic Baptist/country churches” do, i.e: “Now it’s time for greeting! Stand up and greet those around you with a silly accent”!
"No drinks allowed in the sanctuary. And that includes babies." It's really getting hard to find a place that'll just let you drink a baby in peace. Great job on this one. Quite a few chuckles
No drinks allowed in the sanctuary was said to us on our first visit to a baptist church in Mississippi. We are from Idaho - I was still breastfeeding and would get light headed if I don’t have a little bite of something on hand so we were double offensive with a cheese stick. 🤷🏻♀️
Pentecostal ladies hats! Heated debates after the service in non-denominational fellowships, held over mounds of biscuits. The special observers area at the back of the gospel hall, because you can't take part or receive communion until after the home visit. Being completely ignored by all eleven people in a presbyterian church, including the minister! The fear in the eyes of the female episcopal minister who recognised me as a local street preacher, when she realised that I had been asked to speak at the funeral in her rainbow church. A charismatic meeting where, when it was noticed that I wasn't joining in with the ullulations, I was brought to the front, interrogated about my view of tongues and my baptism in the Holy Spirit, then I was prayed over and encouraged to "just let it come out!" Apparently I didn't "get it" which disappointed everyone. When I sat through a lecture on climate change and equity at a local church of Scotland, then asked the speaker afterwards about who had written this emotionally charged but highly inaccurate and fear mongering sermon. They didn't know, but suspected it was from their ruling body's website. I was asked who had suggested that I attend that morning. I replied "God." and the lady couldn't contain a derisory snort and chuckle before suddenly looking very cross and open mouthed. That response was all I needed to know about her faith, and that poor dead church in general. I currently climb an ancient mound nearby every sunday morning, to sing and pray, read scripture and worship alone. Anyone is welcome to join me but I'm not advertising my wherabouts. If they do, I'll have to sort out communion, and I'm dreading the arguments about what the correct procedure is when you share bread and wine in His name.
Welcome to Grace Lutheran Church (not that kind of Lutheran) Worshipping with us is a 2 beer minimum If you don’t like beer, the Presbyterian church has great whiskey instead
I'll add another, from personal experience: at the end of the service, have the sound guy bring a microphone over to the first time visitor and hold it in front of her. Ask her all kinds of questions from the pulpit while everyone stares at her. 😬
Our church has a goodie bag. You have to raise your hand to get it, but we are 30 people, so we would have seen it anyway. (We also have coffee on the way in, but it's Norwegian all black.)
The greeting in my church (Lutheran) is "the Lord be with you". Unless it is a liberal/low church congregation, in which case it is "good morning. The Lord be with you."
Just what I want. Wearing a target on my back saying, come and introduce yourselves to me and drown me with names I’ll never remember so I can feel even more awkward next Sunday when I remember none of you🤦♀️
Yeah usually the guests will be greeted at the end, and if you come early enough you might be to meet a few people, or just wait to end and have a meal
I think you nailed every church I ever visited while in the military except the Methodist were still mostly OK back then. Certainly no rated R, Big Eva to contend with; nor need for a garbage can as the copyrighted-for-profit perversions hadn’t become the standard by which one could measure how far from doctrine that church was headed.
I think the only thing that us Lutherans do that discourages visitors is the Closed Communion. I think it's biblically accurate, but a lot of people think it's us being isolationist.
Do you think it's bad for a smaller church to ask new visitors to introduce themselves? For whatever reason a few Chinese churches I've been to does this.
It really depends on the culture. For our western culture, encouraging them to talk with the pastor or elder afterwards would help people feel more comfortable than to stand in front of 100 strangers, knowing they shall dogpile you after the service.
@@Yesica1993 Yes, I did. I had my friend that invited me speak to him about his inappropriate behavior and comment to someone on the first day. Clueless. I've also asked God to help me because despite him, the chruch is great!
Welcome to First Tolerant Affirming Church of San Francisco, CA where we tolerate and afiirm everyone except those who believe in the inerrancy and infallibility of the Bible and that Jesus Christ is the only way into Heaven.
You’re a visitor and we dont know you, so we’re going to exclude you from holy communion….😢. This has happened to me before. After I picked my jaw up off the floor and lifted my heart out from my stomach, I quietly left.
They typically don't single out newcomers. There's usually a couple ushers or members of the women's group at the door offering a bulletin and a simple welcome. Nothing wrong with it just not great grounds for comedy.
Is there a, "If you're a visitor here today, please tell us so that we can get away from you" church? I had a coworker who was a Baptist of some kind and wouldn't sit in a chair next to me because I was wasn't. So strange! I should try to find it funny, but really, it was sort of insulting.
Welcome to our church. We believe everyone can be saved without conditions. Really? Yes, of course..If God chooses you. But that sounds like a condition. It's not...What?......It's not!
![LAVROV's interview with Tucker CARLSON 😁 [Parody]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/mbMemqc-QEk/mqdefault.jpg)
"...because we still have to look at you." 👀🤣😂
Best line
My favourite too😂😂😂
I appreciate it.
Ties are an excellent way to show respect to God while in His house.
@@joshuakarr-BibleManTo bad that's not biblical. If anything sackcloth is the most representable. We are supposed to be humble. If anything what I have noticed in the church are people focusing more on fashion rather then the gospel. It's vanity over truth. Please take time with Christ today. God bless you and Happy Sabbath day. ❤
@@NOPE-po2pq
How do you take the parable of the wedding guests? The one without an appropriate garment had no reason not to dress up, and he was thrown out.
Not owning fine clothing because it's too expensive is one thing, but it is disrespectful to go to church in sweats and pajamas just because there's no dress code.
I kept waiting for a cigar smoking, “To our first time visitors, you may leave feeling a little dizzy after your first dose of superior theology starts to undo things you were told at other churches.”
Missed opportunity of "Welcome to Holy Rollers Pentecost Church, where the pastor is likely to swing his jacket at you while yelling gibberish. If that doesn't scare you first time guests away, then congrats, you have been clearly healed of any PTSD while here."
Thanks Keith, got some great laughs outta this whole video. 😂
Spiritually dull cessationists laugh at what they don't understand.
Not funny at all.
@@dad1432bro I'm a continuist, and I'm laughing like crazy here.
@@dad1432Its hilarious. And only those blinded by the same pride and hubris that led the morning star astray cant laugh at this.
“Because while God looks at the heart, we still have to look at you.” Lol!
As a Presbyterian, I will confirm the accuracy of the non-existent Presbyterian greeting.
I agree! I was raised Presbyterian, and I have to say that Presbyterians are as welcoming as an iceberg.
@@williammisener2389 at my church we're not unwelcoming, but our pastor/elder does not acknowledge visitors practically at all from the front. There are no visitor cards to fill out, no committee, etc. Someone will just find you after worship and introduce themselves.
Our Presbyterian WAS until congregation became less born and raised members. Now we welcome visitors by both usher and individual members . Pastor in sanctuary before service to individually introduce himself. We are also member of evangelical Presbyterian denomination. We have seen some of these especially stand up one!
I started going to a Reformed Presbyterian church in March. I’ve been going every Sunday and to other church held events. I still haven’t talk to all the regulars but we recognize each other so that’s good enough. Lol
We are a PCA church that is very welcoming but we are far from a maga church😀
At my church (a Baptist church), the pastor has a time every service where we go around shaking hands. Not just with visitors. He just says "as the pianist plays through this next verse lets shake someone's hand and make one another feel welcome. If you're a visitor, we're glad to have you."
Here at Frozen Chosen Presbyterian we will ignore you until you decide to pay your tithe.
How about "denominations lost in the woods"?
Methodists strip to share body heat. IFB use their ccws to get deer, Presbyterians use their cigars to start a fire, etc...?
Superior Theology needs a Superior Fire, get them Cigars burnin' Boys!
That would be hilarious!😊
I'm down for that! 😅
Shut up and take my money
Comedy gold as always, Keith! May God bless you & your family!
“Rated R for Redemption church” 😂😂😂
As usual, genius! I look forward to laughing out loud when I get notification of a new video! Thank you!
Hah!!! And I was afraid you were going to forget the KjV Only church!! 🙂👍
This was hilarious! Well done, Mr. Foskey, you've hit another homer. 😂👏👏👏😂
I was waiting for one that was just a wordless stare (Free Church of Scotland)
Hahahahaha!
"Is today your first time here? Oh, you've been coming for six months?" I've certainly experienced that one, although longer than six months.
“Main campus” 😂 gets me every time.
I don't get it. I've gone to multi-site churches forever.
Shots fired! This was awesome! Thank you for reminding all of us to have a sense of humor about ourselves!
The most shocking one I ever got was at a Free Methodist church when right after the processional hymn the pastor quickly said, "If you are a regular here, sit down!" Everyone sat with lightening speed except us visitors who were really confused. After giving us the usual welcome panthlets, service went on as normal. Got lots of friendly, warm-hearted greetings from everyone during coffee hour.
These are so funny! Thank you Pastor Foskey!
Few things more uncomfortable than visiting a church and being asked to stand and introduce yourself. I've been to one or two churches like that.
That’s nothing compared to what most “generic Baptist/country churches” do, i.e:
“Now it’s time for greeting! Stand up and greet those around you with a silly accent”!
The funny thing is… I never minded that! But I am a bit gregarious. Plus, in my many travels, I have attended many churches for the first time.
I generally refuse to stand unless the greeting team encourages me.
or when everyone comes at you, insisting on hugs. Nope, nope, nope. Hands off.
These are really funny! Big eva always cracks me up!!
😂😂😂and we do not apologize
Weekly Spectacle Church of God
You are hilarious!! Even tho we’re opposite in theology, you still crack me up!! Great video!! 😂
Too funny. Thank you. That's made my day. Shared it on my house group WhatsApp group. 😂
Brother, you've had some great content before, but this is next level!!! LOL!!! Well done and thank you!!!
"No drinks allowed in the sanctuary. And that includes babies."
It's really getting hard to find a place that'll just let you drink a baby in peace.
Great job on this one. Quite a few chuckles
Thank you for the laughs😂
Ribbon at the end. Totally happened to us at a church. It was a velvet heart sticker but basically the same.
No drinks allowed in the sanctuary was said to us on our first visit to a baptist church in Mississippi. We are from Idaho - I was still breastfeeding and would get light headed if I don’t have a little bite of something on hand so we were double offensive with a cheese stick. 🤷🏻♀️
I wdnt b able to attend that church at all
Pentecostal ladies hats!
Heated debates after the service in non-denominational fellowships, held over mounds of biscuits.
The special observers area at the back of the gospel hall, because you can't take part or receive communion until after the home visit.
Being completely ignored by all eleven people in a presbyterian church, including the minister!
The fear in the eyes of the female episcopal minister who recognised me as a local street preacher, when she realised that I had been asked to speak at the funeral in her rainbow church.
A charismatic meeting where, when it was noticed that I wasn't joining in with the ullulations, I was brought to the front, interrogated about my view of tongues and my baptism in the Holy Spirit, then I was prayed over and encouraged to "just let it come out!" Apparently I didn't "get it" which disappointed everyone.
When I sat through a lecture on climate change and equity at a local church of Scotland, then asked the speaker afterwards about who had written this emotionally charged but highly inaccurate and fear mongering sermon. They didn't know, but suspected it was from their ruling body's website. I was asked who had suggested that I attend that morning. I replied "God." and the lady couldn't contain a derisory snort and chuckle before suddenly looking very cross and open mouthed. That response was all I needed to know about her faith, and that poor dead church in general.
I currently climb an ancient mound nearby every sunday morning, to sing and pray, read scripture and worship alone. Anyone is welcome to join me but I'm not advertising my wherabouts. If they do, I'll have to sort out communion, and I'm dreading the arguments about what the correct procedure is when you share bread and wine in His name.
Hilarious but also alarming how real many of these!
19 amendment episcopal 😂
As a regular welcomer at my local church I found this video very entertaining.
Pretty well nailed what looki g for a new church has been like.
“Oh, NEW people… “ And nothing more, our only visit.
Good stuff!
Yeah this is spot on. There’s so many mega churches now a days that don’t want kids in worship with their parents that it honestly baffles me.
Welcome to Grace Lutheran Church (not that kind of Lutheran)
Worshipping with us is a 2 beer minimum
If you don’t like beer, the Presbyterian church has great whiskey instead
Gargh! I should have said the Presbyterians have “superior” whiskey…😂
Funny! I've been to a few of these!
Really love these as a pentecostal not exposed to the other church traditions
I'll add another, from personal experience: at the end of the service, have the sound guy bring a microphone over to the first time visitor and hold it in front of her. Ask her all kinds of questions from the pulpit while everyone stares at her. 😬
GOLD!!!! 🤣😅🤣😅
"Have you met with our financial planner to set up an automatic tithe?"
This happens at most mega churches.
😮
Hey! We give other translations back after the service. Come on man 😂
I kind of liked the big eva. Free coffee is not a bad thing.
How about a follow up video showing how it should be done!
Our church has a goodie bag. You have to raise your hand to get it, but we are 30 people, so we would have seen it anyway. (We also have coffee on the way in, but it's Norwegian all black.)
I sure don't want a limp wristed handshake 😅
Where are the Lutherans and Presbyterians?
IME. They don't do crazy things to visitors.
I was getting creative with the church names, I didn’t think so much about denoms :)
The greeting in my church (Lutheran) is "the Lord be with you". Unless it is a liberal/low church congregation, in which case it is "good morning. The Lord be with you."
Good stuff brother
In a small Southern town: welcome to All Saints Episcopal Church - now who did you say your family are ? 🧐
Just what I want. Wearing a target on my back saying, come and introduce yourselves to me and drown me with names I’ll never remember so I can feel even more awkward next Sunday when I remember none of you🤦♀️
In my town, the Church or God preachers have been caught in the denim skirt room.
We are not surprised to see you. You were predestined before creation to be here.... 😇
Nice!
Yeah usually the guests will be greeted at the end, and if you come early enough you might be to meet a few people, or just wait to end and have a meal
The United Methodist / Unitarian ones are always the best, lol
Agreed; as well as “Big Eva”.
Gotta say though, the most accurate are “Generic Baptist” ones.
In churches like these, I would NOT acknowledge that I was a visitor, plain and simple.
I think you nailed every church I ever visited while in the military except the Methodist were still mostly OK back then.
Certainly no rated R, Big Eva to contend with; nor need for a garbage can as the copyrighted-for-profit perversions hadn’t become the standard by which one could measure how far from doctrine that church was headed.
The “generic Baptist Church” one is zero exaggeration.
In all these funny parodies, the United Methodists are interchangeable with Presbyterian USA people!😅
I think the only thing that us Lutherans do that discourages visitors is the Closed Communion. I think it's biblically accurate, but a lot of people think it's us being isolationist.
As a single person I can’t stand being asked “Are you married?” Or “Do you have a family?” . As if they need to know.
What did the last one mean???? Is the deacon a vampire????
Idea for the next video: Denominations play video games
“main campus” 😂
I’m missing something here. Why is the Methodist’s collar turned up? 😀
Do you think it's bad for a smaller church to ask new visitors to introduce themselves? For whatever reason a few Chinese churches I've been to does this.
It is not sinful. I just did not go back to a church that did that.
It really depends on the culture. For our western culture, encouraging them to talk with the pastor or elder afterwards would help people feel more comfortable than to stand in front of 100 strangers, knowing they shall dogpile you after the service.
What, no cage stage Calvinist church, where visitors are singled out to get their bad theology corrected?
That would have been great 😊 Always great ideas 💡 for next time :)
I was waiting for it.
Or the church teaching double predestination, focusing heavily on the reprobates.
God help my Calvanist brothers
What's wrong with a free beverage from the barista? ;)
My first day at a new church a creepy old man asked me if "I was attached"? He's an elder (and a creep)! Who does that? I ignore him now.
You stayed there?!
@@Yesica1993 Yes, I did. I had my friend that invited me speak to him about his inappropriate behavior and comment to someone on the first day. Clueless. I've also asked God to help me because despite him, the chruch is great!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Where ladies rule! Bahahaha!
COG … wow
How about Bishop Lawanda and his wife Bishop Lawanda at Our Lord and Savior Jesus Fellowship Ministries on 38th Street? Always a classic!
Hilariosu!
Hey, I go to that big eva church, do they have cinnamon rolls, too?
😂😂😂
"That includes babies"... A lot was said there.
Fun but sad because some of us grew up in one of these churches.
Welcome to First Tolerant Affirming Church of San Francisco, CA where we tolerate and afiirm everyone except those who believe in the inerrancy and infallibility of the Bible and that Jesus Christ is the only way into Heaven.
Last time I obeyed 1 Thessalonians 5:26 I got kicked out. Turns out they use the Holman Christian Standard Bible while I was raised on King James.
Notice how there is no Presbyterian
Because on top of Superior Theology
We have Superior Welcomings as we
You’re a visitor and we dont know you, so we’re going to exclude you from holy communion….😢.
This has happened to me before. After I picked my jaw up off the floor and lifted my heart out from my stomach, I quietly left.
I wonder what a Catholic version would be like
If you are visiting and are not a Catholic, do not take the elements as you shall go to hell if you do (or maybw that's orthodox
They typically don't single out newcomers. There's usually a couple ushers or members of the women's group at the door offering a bulletin and a simple welcome. Nothing wrong with it just not great grounds for comedy.
Is there a, "If you're a visitor here today, please tell us so that we can get away from you" church? I had a coworker who was a Baptist of some kind and wouldn't sit in a chair next to me because I was wasn't. So strange! I should try to find it funny, but really, it was sort of insulting.
You can't drink babies.
Welcome to our church. We believe everyone can be saved without conditions.
Really?
Yes, of course..If God chooses you.
But that sounds like a condition.
It's not...What?......It's not!
Not your grandmother's Methodist church....she and all my family are rolling in their graves especially the great grandpa who was a circuit preacher.
No (true) Lutheran? You’d look good in an alb and stole. 😂
This guy is digging his grave with a spoon.
There is no such thing as. “United” Methodist church.
Nailed it
Video makes fun of churches that don’t want to grow, and churches that have grown too much … SMH.
Hmm, this guy needs to toss in a few salads once in awhile.