I love you advice and videos… I suffered horrific abusive relationships and these have help me so much to understand myself.. thank you thank you thank you 🙏
Wonderfully put together - inspiring me to not give up but accept that the need for control is still there (and behind the expectations). Well done. I realized how much of the patterns are still there (blinded by aquired knowledge but confused with the same results and blaming it on the outside world…). Thank you!!!! Will look into healing the inner child and watch the suggested video (obviousIy I am still not done with it). Any more suggestions? I am ready…but need guidance 😇🤞🏻
Glad to have been helpful! As for follow up work, I think the inner child work is one of the most important things you can do! Until we can understand and free ourselves from those patterns that are operating on autopilot, it's really hard to do anything because we keep getting sabotaged by ourselves. Child wounds around worthiness or being unlovable really mess with the way we connect with others as adults. If we have a deep feeling of being unlovable, trying to be less needy so that people will like us is...in a strange way, a needy behavior haha. Because we're still trying to get people to like us. I think the key is to work on healing those inner wounds that cause us to be needy in the first place, so we're naturally more relaxed and open!
I am in such a bad place in life. My marriage with my wife is falling apart and my mental and physical health is in the dumps. I hear everything you are saying in this and it’s very eye opening. I just don’t know how I can truly put this into practice and actually begin to let go of things in my marriage and just in life as a whole. These insecurities I have are so immersive and overwhelming. I just can’t imagine a life where my mind can be at such peace.
@daker1941 some times it is in the family's best interests to get out of a toxic relationship. Set an example to the children by showing bravery in what you DON'T tolerate. Walkaway
Analyze what your marriage is lacking, there is something that you are probably missing. Without knowing your situation my best advice is to look at all possibilities, don’t go down without a fight while maintaining your dignity.
I’m with you…I hear you…and I feel what you’re going through. I’ve made mistakes in my 30yr marriage, and I’m still on a tightrope of staying or leaving. I do love her, and she loves me, but there is an emptiness that is glaringly there. Many arguments, and I finally decided I don’t give a fuck….that’s harsh, but I let it rip…..I told her my feelings, I told her how I felt about her nagging, how she’s gained 150 lbs, how I didn’t like being rejected from years past when it came to intimacy, to how I’m no longer going to be held responsible for her happiness..she just sat there stunned! I finally opened the floodgates, and it wasn’t pretty….but I needed to do it…I told her I was DONE! She suddenly changed her tune…..she like the lifestyle I gave her, and she knows now that I don’t care…I put myself first….I told her to get a job…Now she’s walking on eggshells instead of me…take back your power…and if you get divorced, so be it…if you get the chance, check out on RUclips, strong successful male…that site has helped me…You/me, are not alone…You can handle it!
Women will dump you when you’re not doing well. The sooner you accept this & realise no-one is coming to help you like we do them the sooner you will get off your sad couch into the gym on your fashion & stop this neediness for her. Fit X fearless videos or Ty X Worldwide might help. I hope you are better in the coming month or she’s gone for good & most times that’s better in the long run.
Such good advice, as soon as you start doubting yourself and worrying about how shit will look it's already over. You HAVE TO come out with the energy of "I'm curious about this person because I'm interested and I don't care how it goes". Not worrying about shit like "oh what line should I say?!" "Is my outfit super ugly?" "maybe they're going to be mean and make fun of me". The second you start thinking that stuff it is over. You have to build a strong core.
@@planningpersonlaidbackdeep1273you’re born alone and you die alone. The whole point is to find happiness within yourself and not make your happiness dependent on someone else. It’s all you can do really. If something is meant to happen it will and more and better things happen when you are happy. Wish you well you got this!
My man! Very eye opening, a few months back I started dating and oh my god, the shit that came out that I knew was kinda there, but never really realised it until now.. it has been painful, but I decided to do something about it. That on itself makes me realise I am strong enough and I don't need to depend on anyone. This video really helps me put things in a different perspective. Of course there will be days where I will feel like shit, but I will just come back to this video and start putting things in perspective again. Thanks ❤️
I stopped being nice and don't really talk to people anymore, I've been alone for years and couldn't be happier. I just got tired of entertaining people
I am 31 years and I have been through so much downs in my life Including a very bad marriage that I am in right now which could end up in a divorce. However, I am really happy and grateful and I realize that your health both physical and mental is the most amazing gift you can have and I’m grateful every single day for that anyone who is reading this please quit smoking, it will improve your quality of life by leaps and bounds. Trust me.
I wish I would have known this 7 months ago......not that .....on the other hand, I did the best that I could with the light that I had....and sometimes we just don't see the light or understand the light....until it's over....then piece by piece we seem to get it and relax, let go and be ourself. But that's OK.......it is what it is....we just have to keep choosing LIFE and go with the flow the best we can....and leave the rest in God's hands. Otherwise....it't pretty hard to take. There is a lot to learn about being ourselves!.....and the fact that "others can tell." Ha......faster than we can realize ourselves. Just sayin'........thank you for your encouragement.
You're welcome! That's absolutely right that most of us are just doing the best we can to work with what we have. And all you can do is keep learning and growing!
*Chuckles* There's relaxing and being subtle, and there's being a hostile unlikeable person pushing every friendly face away, you like me experienced something bad that made it easy to hate the world and kick them all out That's not what this video is saying, I hope you can elevate yourself to the point where you too can face this, best wishes, strength and honor
The WORST thing I ever did was stop chasing and caring about what I wanted. My whole life it felt like I was chasing a train that I could never catch. Anytime I finally managed to grab onto the railing, someone would come out and kick me off. It was so frustrating, so finally I decided to embrace the not caring mentality by being present in the moment, not having attachment to outcomes, and being okay no matter what. The moment I did that, I stopped running, but the train kept right on moving. It turned the corner, disappeared from sight, and I was left standing in the middle of nowhere. At least when I was trying and chasing, I could see the train. Now it's gone, and I'll never catch up. So now I just have to be ok with standing in the middle of nowhere forever.
3 месяца назад+16
The second I let go and decided I would Ghost my ghoster, it was a monkey off my back. Instantly I found a date, that date was the source of self confidence which in turn helped me dump my dumper which of course had my dumper reconnecting with me. So now I am the power not the victim. A position that I intend to nurture. I'm keeping my new girl cuz she's level headed. But I'm playing games a little bit with my dumper before I Ghost her for good. My philosophy? What better way to illustrate to a ghoster how cruel it is than to make them feel the pain. It hurts and don't do it.
3 месяца назад+1
I think acting classes should be mandatory before we start a new relationshiop
I get what you're saying, except that you're missing something important. If she ghosted you already, she doesn't care that much. We don't ghost people we care about, so you ghosting her is simply not going to have the same effect that it had on you, if at all. It never does. What's important, though, is not to ghost the one who genuinely likes you. Cause that one will probably care, and also probably does not deserve it.
2 месяца назад+3
@@Predictable1 I'm assuming of course, that my ghoster reaches out some day. She is a text book avoidant. Abused and neglected as a very young child. That said, I don't care how abused you are, common decency would dictate that you at least give a person closure.. I'm on week 12 of blocked and no contact. I have no idea what has happened to her except that she moved a tweeker in the next day.
Speaking from personal experience here: You should never belong to a woman to the point where she can "Discard you" just the fact that you're saying that tells me that you felt you belonged to her, or rather the fact that she manipulated you so badly you thought you did, damn my sympathies bro Anyway, well done dude! You're a real bossman! Congrats
@@EternalNero Thanks, bullet dodged! It was more of she had me prepped for discard than being “hers”. We were talking for two months and lived 2 hours apart but I’d make the drive. Were both business professionals and discussed how we could make it work and I was considering ditching my 2 year proposal timeframe because of how quickly we progressed due to being in good positions in life. She went no contact about two weeks later and would pop up to talk for stressful things in her life.
Well said!! I've watched videos that talked about some of this stuff, but wow!!! The way you broke this down was super easy for me to follow and fully understand every word!! Thank you!! ❤
Will I know when I’ve truly let go? It’s been a year and I keep telling myself to get go and it would seem like I’m trying hard to move on and I’m on dating apps and I almost feel like I’m doing it for the wrong reasons, so I tell myself I’ve let go but have I? Because I miss her so much… how will I know I’ve let go?
Realized I need to relearn this yet again... I'm a somewhat controlling/perfectionistic person by nature, unfortunately. It makes me more prone to depression and imposter syndrome.
Well the harder one tries to not give a fuck is actually firing backwards… its like then you got to prove you don’t care, still caring in in the back of your mind. I think it gets easier getting older and with experience… getting used to people not fulfilling once expectations.. you need to go through it over and over again to eventually reach a point of truly not giving a flying fuck…
I feel like there are some differences in the meaning behind the phrase “not giving a f*ck”-one is to not actually outwardly express excitement or feelings that you are emotionally invested or to try not to get emotionally invested in the first place… the other meaning that I think is going on here is to not let external factors, situations, or people be the one’s who decide and/or dictate your own sense of well-being and worth… I think that it is healthy and great to express one’s feelings in life and to get excited about things or dating or romance (if you feel that way, you feel that way and that’s all valid!)-the other way of being is about saying-“I am the one who decides what [insert external situation/person/outcome] means for me-I will not let that be the ultimate decider of my self-worth and well-being. If something doesn’t happen, I’m allowed to feel disappointed, unhappy, etc. but I am willing to face things going wrong/awry because I will handle it and it will not be my end-all-be-all because at the end of the day I am always my end-all-be-all before anything else! I don’t know if that made sense… but I felt like the idea of not giving a f*ck also has this connotation of pretending not to care or not caring in the first place, which I don’t think was what was meant in the video
I don't care about being more attractive. I very much care about and want to learn how to not give so many f*cks about so many things in my life. I wish there were a pill I could take (a legal one, that is!) that would make me not care about anything as much as I do.
I don't think being on your best behavior, when it's not one's typical homeostasis, is manipulative, especially in the first few dates. Being an honest train wreck at first is much worse 😂
Ok if you are physically attractive and have frequent conversation opportunities you dont have to be hungry. But if like me you rarely have convos let alobe with potential partners being so chill is not easy. The older you get the less quality people are still on the market and the less attractive you become.
As a young adult i need some confirmation. Put the algorithm aside, lately i have heard a lot about these things-some certain ways to live a happy life. Some young adults around me also talk ab the same thing, which makes me feel like theres a trend going on or sum. Could sb tell me if this is true or actually works out or just some kind of things ppl do to gaslight themselves? I agree on some parts but others sound kinda extreme to me. Its like jumping from one end to another
I think people encouraging you to jump from one extreme to the other are overdoing it. I think the key is balance. It's not about being an asshole, or never thinking about other people - that's not what I advocate for at all. And I think that sometimes people who find themselves feeling super disconnected or in pain or heartbroken can be drawn to the seemingly "stoic" viewpoint that they should just armor themselves off to the world and never feel anything. I advocate for firstly, letting yourself detach from others opinions in order to see more clearly and then secondly, using that clear-sighted perspective to be able to live your life more fully and with less inner conflict. So if you feel a deep connection with somebody, that's amazing! But until you let go of your own inner judgment and blocks, you might experience a hard time even expressing that feeling TO the person. So in that case attachment blocks the magic of the genuine connection, right? People might watch my videos for the first time and get the idea that I think you should never get close to anybody, never love anybody, that you should pretend you don't care...and that's not what I'm saying AT ALL. I'm just saying as long as you're so emotionally entangled with a person or situation that you can't see straight, it's very hard to have that balanced perspective. I simply advocate for people to learn who they really are, and to see the places they're acting broken when they're really whole and complete. The trend you speak to is, I think, perhaps more of the "letting go/law of attraction/focus on yourself" crowd, which I think has a seed of truth, but often gets wildly misrepresented. I think happiness is found in balance, and in the way you SEE your life. It has a lot less to do with the things in your life, but more to do with your perspective. And what I hope to encourage people to do by letting go, is to expand their perspective.
So say i am laid back and ok with 100 rejections and just say i got this ill figure it out.. and being alone with no one to show me affection or attention is cool... that is insane.
Letting go is very unnatural. Forcing the issue is exactly the opposite of what you need to do. Makes no sense, you have to believe not giving a f is the best approach.
It's only to the human mind that it doesn't make sense. Up down, good bad, white black, dark light, demons angels are in direct opposition to one another ONLY to the human. What's natural is there all the same thing until we polarize them which stems from the belief that separates causing confusion. A vagina and a penis are seperate until they merge, birthing a new universe in the process. All is seperated until coming together as 1 (which is just an idea you have of yourself) There's your oneness teaching for the day😂
@@777-h6n it’s very disheartening. I have NEVER played these stupid immature childish manipulative games in a relationship. NOT ONCE!! I was too busy being myself, being authentic and stupidly thinking my partner at the time was also being authentic when he was just toying with my heart. It broke my heart, more than once. That’s when I figured out how very few high value men are out there that actually want and deserve an authentic, genuine, FAITHFUL, trustworthy woman as myself. I’m losing hope that I will find a partner that can match what I bring to a relationship. Too many game players 😔
Those things do not work this way. If you act very individualistic then other people just walk away from you. You stay alone. I have done it several times.
You are correct. There is a fine line between being needy and intentional. If you are intentional and honest about how you feel towards someone while being yourself, that is purely not giving a #@&%. Just acting like an ass and telling people "yeah, cool, whatever, I will find other people..." is not good and in my opinion, just as manipulative. If you're honest, genuine and consistent and they leave, that is purely on them, not you.
I agree I just played it so cool w a guy I like and answered him hours later after his texts like I don’t give fk --he sensed games now he didn’t follow up on our tentative date . I really liked him and regret it . More to the story but that’s on me I should have answered him that I was free and excited to see him. I’ll never make that mistake again
You had me until the nice person… I am a super nice person and yes people take advantage of me but that is on them.. I am not changing who I am so they can perceive that I don’t give a Fuk.. that would be lying!! if you can’t handle my nice then they can go.. 🤷🏻♀️
I love you advice and videos… I suffered horrific abusive relationships and these have help me so much to understand myself.. thank you thank you thank you 🙏
You're so welcome! Glad to have been of help! :)
Wonderfully put together - inspiring me to not give up but accept that the need for control is still there (and behind the expectations). Well done. I realized how much of the patterns are still there (blinded by aquired knowledge but confused with the same results and blaming it on the outside world…). Thank you!!!!
Will look into healing the inner child and watch the suggested video (obviousIy I am still not done with it). Any more suggestions? I am ready…but need guidance 😇🤞🏻
Glad to have been helpful! As for follow up work, I think the inner child work is one of the most important things you can do! Until we can understand and free ourselves from those patterns that are operating on autopilot, it's really hard to do anything because we keep getting sabotaged by ourselves.
Child wounds around worthiness or being unlovable really mess with the way we connect with others as adults. If we have a deep feeling of being unlovable, trying to be less needy so that people will like us is...in a strange way, a needy behavior haha. Because we're still trying to get people to like us. I think the key is to work on healing those inner wounds that cause us to be needy in the first place, so we're naturally more relaxed and open!
I am in such a bad place in life. My marriage with my wife is falling apart and my mental and physical health is in the dumps. I hear everything you are saying in this and it’s very eye opening. I just don’t know how I can truly put this into practice and actually begin to let go of things in my marriage and just in life as a whole. These insecurities I have are so immersive and overwhelming. I just can’t imagine a life where my mind can be at such peace.
Let go depending on your marriage for your ego. Repair your marriage for your family.
@daker1941 some times it is in the family's best interests to get out of a toxic relationship. Set an example to the children by showing bravery in what you DON'T tolerate. Walkaway
Analyze what your marriage is lacking, there is something that you are probably missing. Without knowing your situation my best advice is to look at all possibilities, don’t go down without a fight while maintaining your dignity.
I’m with you…I hear you…and I feel what you’re going through. I’ve made mistakes in my 30yr marriage, and I’m still on a tightrope of staying or leaving. I do love her, and she loves me, but there is an emptiness that is glaringly there. Many arguments, and I finally decided I don’t give a fuck….that’s harsh, but I let it rip…..I told her my feelings, I told her how I felt about her nagging, how she’s gained 150 lbs, how I didn’t like being rejected from years past when it came to intimacy, to how I’m no longer going to be held responsible for her happiness..she just sat there stunned! I finally opened the floodgates, and it wasn’t pretty….but I needed to do it…I told her I was DONE! She suddenly changed her tune…..she like the lifestyle I gave her, and she knows now that I don’t care…I put myself first….I told her to get a job…Now she’s walking on eggshells instead of me…take back your power…and if you get divorced, so be it…if you get the chance, check out on RUclips, strong successful male…that site has helped me…You/me, are not alone…You can handle it!
Women will dump you when you’re not doing well. The sooner you accept this & realise no-one is coming to help you like we do them the sooner you will get off your sad couch into the gym on your fashion & stop this neediness for her. Fit X fearless videos or Ty X Worldwide might help. I hope you are better in the coming month or she’s gone for good & most times that’s better in the long run.
Such good advice, as soon as you start doubting yourself and worrying about how shit will look it's already over. You HAVE TO come out with the energy of "I'm curious about this person because I'm interested and I don't care how it goes".
Not worrying about shit like "oh what line should I say?!" "Is my outfit super ugly?" "maybe they're going to be mean and make fun of me".
The second you start thinking that stuff it is over. You have to build a strong core.
How can you not care if you ever find anyone? How can you be ok living alone your whole life? Im 40 and still not found anyone.
@@planningpersonlaidbackdeep1273you’re born alone and you die alone. The whole point is to find happiness within yourself and not make your happiness dependent on someone else. It’s all you can do really. If something is meant to happen it will and more and better things happen when you are happy. Wish you well you got this!
My man! Very eye opening, a few months back I started dating and oh my god, the shit that came out that I knew was kinda there, but never really realised it until now.. it has been painful, but I decided to do something about it. That on itself makes me realise I am strong enough and I don't need to depend on anyone.
This video really helps me put things in a different perspective. Of course there will be days where I will feel like shit, but I will just come back to this video and start putting things in perspective again. Thanks ❤️
Things do not work this way tho. If you act individualistic then you just stay alone.
Can you elaborate? @@marguskiis7711
I stopped being nice and don't really talk to people anymore, I've been alone for years and couldn't be happier. I just got tired of entertaining people
I totally agree, I used to be the same way. And I’ve changed like you. I’m tired of people pleasing, and I’m just gonna live for myself.
So youll die alone? I want to do the same but this fear…. I dont have any brothers or sisters… Dying alone is awful.
you can keep talking to girls while staying by your own@@deimosok2003
I am 31 years and I have been through so much downs in my life Including a very bad marriage that I am in right now which could end up in a divorce. However, I am really happy and grateful and I realize that your health both physical and mental is the most amazing gift you can have and I’m grateful every single day for that anyone who is reading this please quit smoking, it will improve your quality of life by leaps and bounds. Trust me.
This man has a special way to explain things in a way that I understand so clearly. Omg!!
Thank you ❤
I taught him everything he knows. Soooo pick you up around 8?
I wish I would have known this 7 months ago......not that .....on the other hand, I did the best that I could with the light that I had....and sometimes we just don't see the light or understand the light....until it's over....then piece by piece we seem to get it and relax, let go and be ourself. But that's OK.......it is what it is....we just have to keep choosing LIFE and go with the flow the best we can....and leave the rest in God's hands. Otherwise....it't pretty hard to take. There is a lot to learn about being ourselves!.....and the fact that "others can tell." Ha......faster than we can realize ourselves. Just sayin'........thank you for your encouragement.
You're welcome! That's absolutely right that most of us are just doing the best we can to work with what we have. And all you can do is keep learning and growing!
I have been watching this video multiple times for several months, but I feel i start to understand only now 🤯
I just found your videos today and I’ve been binge watching them, thank you so much for your insight it has been so helpful!
right advice on the right time! Thank you, bro✊️
My pleasure!
Thank you, I was on this path and it seems I’ve lost sight as of now, I think this was a great reminder on what I’m aiming for. Thank you Andrew
great video, this channel gonna blow up imo
I did it. I stayed alone. Said anybody to go away.
And then only those contacted me who wanted money. Others disappeared. Literally.
*Chuckles* There's relaxing and being subtle, and there's being a hostile unlikeable person pushing every friendly face away, you like me experienced something bad that made it easy to hate the world and kick them all out
That's not what this video is saying, I hope you can elevate yourself to the point where you too can face this, best wishes, strength and honor
The WORST thing I ever did was stop chasing and caring about what I wanted. My whole life it felt like I was chasing a train that I could never catch. Anytime I finally managed to grab onto the railing, someone would come out and kick me off. It was so frustrating, so finally I decided to embrace the not caring mentality by being present in the moment, not having attachment to outcomes, and being okay no matter what.
The moment I did that, I stopped running, but the train kept right on moving. It turned the corner, disappeared from sight, and I was left standing in the middle of nowhere.
At least when I was trying and chasing, I could see the train. Now it's gone, and I'll never catch up. So now I just have to be ok with standing in the middle of nowhere forever.
The second I let go and decided I would Ghost my ghoster, it was a monkey off my back. Instantly I found a date, that date was the source of self confidence which in turn helped me dump my dumper which of course had my dumper reconnecting with me.
So now I am the power not the victim. A position that I intend to nurture. I'm keeping my new girl cuz she's level headed. But I'm playing games a little bit with my dumper before I Ghost her for good. My philosophy? What better way to illustrate to a ghoster how cruel it is than to make them feel the pain. It hurts and don't do it.
I think acting classes should be mandatory before we start a new relationshiop
I get what you're saying, except that you're missing something important. If she ghosted you already, she doesn't care that much. We don't ghost people we care about, so you ghosting her is simply not going to have the same effect that it had on you, if at all. It never does.
What's important, though, is not to ghost the one who genuinely likes you. Cause that one will probably care, and also probably does not deserve it.
@@Predictable1 I'm assuming of course, that my ghoster reaches out some day. She is a text book avoidant. Abused and neglected as a very young child. That said, I don't care how abused you are, common decency would dictate that you at least give a person closure..
I'm on week 12 of blocked and no contact. I have no idea what has happened to her except that she moved a tweeker in the next day.
Thank you so much I needed this. I totally get it now. Explained very well.
God bless RUclips for giving me exactly what the most I have problem with ❤❤❤
You are a real one man, this really helped
Thank you for this! I see how I do these things and I really want to stop
I’ve dealt with narcissists before. When she discarded me, I kept reaching out to her to help make sure she left me alone! 😂
Speaking from personal experience here: You should never belong to a woman to the point where she can "Discard you" just the fact that you're saying that tells me that you felt you belonged to her, or rather the fact that she manipulated you so badly you thought you did, damn my sympathies bro
Anyway, well done dude! You're a real bossman! Congrats
@@EternalNero Thanks, bullet dodged! It was more of she had me prepped for discard than being “hers”. We were talking for two months and lived 2 hours apart but I’d make the drive. Were both business professionals and discussed how we could make it work and I was considering ditching my 2 year proposal timeframe because of how quickly we progressed due to being in good positions in life. She went no contact about two weeks later and would pop up to talk for stressful things in her life.
Great video bro, unfortunately I need this 👌
You are terrific! Great talk!!!❤
Just found your channel, great information 👍
Great Video!! Such good advice. 🙂
You’re channel is so underrated
Love this guy man you broke down everything I needed to hear?”!
Well said!! I've watched videos that talked about some of this stuff, but wow!!! The way you broke this down was super easy for me to follow and fully understand every word!! Thank you!! ❤
Excellent video… new subscriber!!! ❤
Bro you're legend!🔥 Please keep em coming
Facts. Finally a good video on this .thanks
Ah, the lost art of stoicism.
Hardly.
😂
Stoic Adonis 😤😤😤
Glad finding this channel
Absolutely beautiful. THANK YOU. Subscribed ❤
hi Andrew! excellent video!!!! thanks!!!!
Anything that sux I've been through causes me to reflect and take any learnings from the experience. not gaf is something I've done all my life lol
True so I’ve detached from my well now not my … man ❤ well he detached first but still 😂
Will I know when I’ve truly let go? It’s been a year and I keep telling myself to get go and it would seem like I’m trying hard to move on and I’m on dating apps and I almost feel like I’m doing it for the wrong reasons, so I tell myself I’ve let go but have I? Because I miss her so much… how will I know I’ve let go?
It is a process. It doesn't happen overnight but Google the 5 stages of a break up.
Thank You this was Awesome!👍
So informative thank you 😊
2:00 exactly that’s what I wanted to hear since a long while
Wow..nailed it 💯%✔️
Realized I need to relearn this yet again... I'm a somewhat controlling/perfectionistic person by nature, unfortunately. It makes me more prone to depression and imposter syndrome.
So true on all you say … I am in charge ❤…😊
Exactly! Glad you agree haha
Good detail, thanks! Focus on keeping hands under control tho bro 😊
Liked the whole video but somehow so connected to the word ‘relax’ 😔🫶🏻🫶🏻🙏
Great video - Subscribed
Well the harder one tries to not give a fuck is actually firing backwards… its like then you got to prove you don’t care, still caring in in the back of your mind. I think it gets easier getting older and with experience… getting used to people not fulfilling once expectations.. you need to go through it over and over again to eventually reach a point of truly not giving a flying fuck…
I feel like there are some differences in the meaning behind the phrase “not giving a f*ck”-one is to not actually outwardly express excitement or feelings that you are emotionally invested or to try not to get emotionally invested in the first place… the other meaning that I think is going on here is to not let external factors, situations, or people be the one’s who decide and/or dictate your own sense of well-being and worth… I think that it is healthy and great to express one’s feelings in life and to get excited about things or dating or romance (if you feel that way, you feel that way and that’s all valid!)-the other way of being is about saying-“I am the one who decides what [insert external situation/person/outcome] means for me-I will not let that be the ultimate decider of my self-worth and well-being. If something doesn’t happen, I’m allowed to feel disappointed, unhappy, etc. but I am willing to face things going wrong/awry because I will handle it and it will not be my end-all-be-all because at the end of the day I am always my end-all-be-all before anything else!
I don’t know if that made sense… but I felt like the idea of not giving a f*ck also has this connotation of pretending not to care or not caring in the first place, which I don’t think was what was meant in the video
The attitude I approach it with is that I want it, but I can live without it. My happiness isn't dependent on this person or thing.
@@rogerdodger6025 That's a great way of putting it!
The right video at the right time .Thank you so much ❤
I don't care about being more attractive. I very much care about and want to learn how to not give so many f*cks about so many things in my life. I wish there were a pill I could take (a legal one, that is!) that would make me not care about anything as much as I do.
Perfect 👌 Thank you!
I don't think being on your best behavior, when it's not one's typical homeostasis, is manipulative, especially in the first few dates. Being an honest train wreck at first is much worse 😂
This was incredibly uncomfortable for me to hear, so many things of the past came up, this is also exactly what I needed to hear
The art of not giving a f***🙃
It's a good book
I'm a guy and starting getting more attention, but why mostly gays?
Being gay is the way. 😉
Ok if you are physically attractive and have frequent conversation opportunities you dont have to be hungry. But if like me you rarely have convos let alobe with potential partners being so chill is not easy. The older you get the less quality people are still on the market and the less attractive you become.
As a young adult i need some confirmation. Put the algorithm aside, lately i have heard a lot about these things-some certain ways to live a happy life. Some young adults around me also talk ab the same thing, which makes me feel like theres a trend going on or sum. Could sb tell me if this is true or actually works out or just some kind of things ppl do to gaslight themselves? I agree on some parts but others sound kinda extreme to me. Its like jumping from one end to another
I think people encouraging you to jump from one extreme to the other are overdoing it. I think the key is balance. It's not about being an asshole, or never thinking about other people - that's not what I advocate for at all. And I think that sometimes people who find themselves feeling super disconnected or in pain or heartbroken can be drawn to the seemingly "stoic" viewpoint that they should just armor themselves off to the world and never feel anything. I advocate for firstly, letting yourself detach from others opinions in order to see more clearly and then secondly, using that clear-sighted perspective to be able to live your life more fully and with less inner conflict. So if you feel a deep connection with somebody, that's amazing! But until you let go of your own inner judgment and blocks, you might experience a hard time even expressing that feeling TO the person. So in that case attachment blocks the magic of the genuine connection, right?
People might watch my videos for the first time and get the idea that I think you should never get close to anybody, never love anybody, that you should pretend you don't care...and that's not what I'm saying AT ALL. I'm just saying as long as you're so emotionally entangled with a person or situation that you can't see straight, it's very hard to have that balanced perspective. I simply advocate for people to learn who they really are, and to see the places they're acting broken when they're really whole and complete.
The trend you speak to is, I think, perhaps more of the "letting go/law of attraction/focus on yourself" crowd, which I think has a seed of truth, but often gets wildly misrepresented. I think happiness is found in balance, and in the way you SEE your life. It has a lot less to do with the things in your life, but more to do with your perspective. And what I hope to encourage people to do by letting go, is to expand their perspective.
The Squidward before and after photo is insane af.
Thanks 🙏🏽
My broad shoulders, cute face, low voice and sexy demeanor make me attractive af
Unless you're a lady
SOUND advice 👍👍👍👍😎✌️✌️✌️
So say i am laid back and ok with 100 rejections and just say i got this ill figure it out.. and being alone with no one to show me affection or attention is cool... that is insane.
Not insane..but stoic!
Letting go is very unnatural. Forcing the issue is exactly the opposite of what you need to do. Makes no sense, you have to believe not giving a f is the best approach.
Forcing the issue being in direct opposition of letting go is exactly the same thing. Duality, is the only thing that's unnatural.
It's only to the human mind that it doesn't make sense. Up down, good bad, white black, dark light, demons angels are in direct opposition to one another ONLY to the human.
What's natural is there all the same thing until we polarize them which stems from the belief that separates causing confusion. A vagina and a penis are seperate until they merge, birthing a new universe in the process. All is seperated until coming together as 1 (which is just an idea you have of yourself) There's your oneness teaching for the day😂
It all sounds like one huge fuggin mind game!!
All these games and everyone is avoiding each other. So funny😂
hae????? no the opposite!!! he says be yourself....thats the only message here
@@ronideltoro9613 actually no, that’s not his message AT ALL! Even the title itself is more accurate than what you just said.
@@777-h6n it’s very disheartening. I have NEVER played these stupid immature childish manipulative games in a relationship. NOT ONCE!! I was too busy being myself, being authentic and stupidly thinking my partner at the time was also being authentic when he was just toying with my heart. It broke my heart, more than once. That’s when I figured out how very few high value men are out there that actually want and deserve an authentic, genuine, FAITHFUL, trustworthy woman as myself. I’m losing hope that I will find a partner that can match what I bring to a relationship. Too many game players 😔
Those things do not work this way. If you act very individualistic then other people just walk away from you. You stay alone.
I have done it several times.
You are correct. There is a fine line between being needy and intentional. If you are intentional and honest about how you feel towards someone while being yourself, that is purely not giving a #@&%. Just acting like an ass and telling people "yeah, cool, whatever, I will find other people..." is not good and in my opinion, just as manipulative. If you're honest, genuine and consistent and they leave, that is purely on them, not you.
I agree I just played it so cool w a guy I like and answered him hours later after his texts like I don’t give fk --he sensed games now he didn’t follow up on our tentative date . I really liked him and regret it . More to the story but that’s on me I should have answered him that I was free and excited to see him. I’ll never make that mistake again
@emilyc5625 you have other options. Lots of other people to meet!
@emilyc5625 as a guy huge turn off when u know most women are on their phone 24/7 and just playing hard to get.
Good looking guy - mesmerizing
You had me until the nice person… I am a super nice person and yes people take advantage of me but that is on them.. I am not changing who I am so they can perceive that I don’t give a Fuk.. that would be lying!! if you can’t handle my nice then they can go.. 🤷🏻♀️
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12:03
Ir great but to attract all ages tone down the speed talking it comes across as lie
i like you
There's something cruel about a world which denies people who want things from the things they want. What an awful cosmic joke.
Watch this guy talking on mute and he looks like a complete nut
Lol
fuck life...wtf
Get a dog
Give up you will never win w women
I don’t give a fuck😂😂
😂
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