Google Translate Reads Your Horoscope

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  • Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
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Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @Godzillaman
    @Godzillaman 6 лет назад +7321

    "Consider living. You can do that. However, it might be more complicated than expected."
    Wow, that's very deep.

    • @wolfheart8604
      @wolfheart8604 6 лет назад +144

      Godzillaman *sobbing* It’s trruuueeee

    • @GaveenPrabhasara
      @GaveenPrabhasara 6 лет назад +216

      This should be on a t-shirt.

    • @tannem2006
      @tannem2006 6 лет назад +79

      Living is sooo complicated. I can't even type without auto correction.

    • @WinterDutchie
      @WinterDutchie 6 лет назад +52

      well actually it's even more complicated for me
      (if you do not get this joke, read the comment, look at my reply again and read my name)

    • @wloxya7422
      @wloxya7422 6 лет назад +5

      Godzillaman Yes

  • @rosie.bella19
    @rosie.bella19 5 лет назад +845

    “If you want to achieve the goal of the day, *CoNsIdEr LiViNg* “
    That’s not even mine, but I should try that.....

  • @JCoopsters
    @JCoopsters 6 лет назад +3210

    *_Life is good, so keep this in mind and you will be harmed today!_*

  • @pendadenda1331
    @pendadenda1331 3 года назад +105

    “Life is good, so keep this in mind and you will be harmed today”
    That’s the best Taurus horoscope I’ve heard ever!
    -a Taurus

  • @UnorthodoxSoundwave.
    @UnorthodoxSoundwave. 6 лет назад +2652

    Cancer “That is Sick”
    It’s not *entirely* wrong,

  • @natsmith303
    @natsmith303 6 лет назад +1844

    "If you want to achieve the goal of the day, consider living. You can do that. However it might be more complicated than expected."
    Well damn. I wasn't anticipating actual advice from this, but thank you.

  • @amychamberlain6403
    @amychamberlain6403 5 лет назад +1522

    ”IF YOU HAVE PAIN YOU CAN GET FIT”
    This is every PE teachers motto

    • @ah9259
      @ah9259 4 года назад +22

      Yes. Yes. YES.

    • @Editing_Dog
      @Editing_Dog 4 года назад +19

      Exactly XD

    • @wlouderback02
      @wlouderback02 4 года назад +9

      I read this right when she said it

    • @ArtistRamWill
      @ArtistRamWill 4 года назад +9

      No pain no gain lel XX

    • @yimbex6871
      @yimbex6871 4 года назад +4

      Where was this for motivation when I was in highschool

  • @innisjeffries3046
    @innisjeffries3046 5 лет назад +199

    These are just two friends trying to help you. Malinda is the one you should listen to but google translate is the friend who’s advice you actually listen to

    • @StrongestLibrafluidAlive
      @StrongestLibrafluidAlive 3 года назад +17

      "YOU MUST STIMULATE EVIL"

    • @ARandomSpace
      @ARandomSpace 3 года назад +8

      I don't like astrology anyway, I'd rather listen to Google Translate. At least she (I guess Malinda just defined Translate's gender) can cheer me up with nonsense.

  • @lexilala1968
    @lexilala1968 6 лет назад +1018

    "If you have pain, you can get fit!"
    Yup, that's basically excersise.

    • @sebziez
      @sebziez 5 лет назад +4

      Lexi Lala i read that comment as she Said that XD

    • @panda_playsyt9421
      @panda_playsyt9421 5 лет назад +7

      This is me on a daily basis 😂❤️🦒❤️

    • @coyraig8332
      @coyraig8332 5 лет назад +5

      No pain, no gain

  • @МарияГеоргиева-ж5з
    @МарияГеоргиева-ж5з 6 лет назад +1431

    "If you want to achieve your goal of the day, consider living. You can do that."
    Favourite inspirational quote ever, I want it in Helvetica over an artsy landscape

    • @kinofabe
      @kinofabe 5 лет назад +5

      relatable

    • @buttercupkat
      @buttercupkat 5 лет назад +29

      @Luna ! *IF YOU HAVE PAIN, YOU CAN GET FIT*

    • @buttercupkat
      @buttercupkat 5 лет назад +2

      @Luna ! *I mean, if gaining a hospital visit it is a gain, okay...*

    • @ArtisticSin
      @ArtisticSin 5 лет назад +1

      Luna ! Yyyyyaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss

    • @zradysis08
      @zradysis08 5 лет назад +21

      However, it might be more complicated than expected.

  • @flamexx7735
    @flamexx7735 5 лет назад +1263

    "YOU CAN MAKE A DECISION! FOR THE FIRST TIME!"
    I-
    I feel called out lmao

    • @ns.kha29
      @ns.kha29 4 года назад +14

      Every depressed indian child ever be like:

    • @candace219
      @candace219 3 года назад +3

      @Peach29 don't forget Gemini!

    • @movedtothreemoonwatchers
      @movedtothreemoonwatchers 3 года назад +3

      People talking to me LOL

    • @TropicalSwan34
      @TropicalSwan34 10 месяцев назад

      That line was delivered so well it seriously gave John mulaney vibes

  • @mars-yf6ry
    @mars-yf6ry 5 лет назад +252

    "Are you considering taking on a role like a spoon?"
    Me: Yes i want to be a spoon
    -social anxiety-

    • @Croftice1
      @Croftice1 4 года назад +5

      But there is no spoon. It is you, what is bending.

    • @tathnousoxide9707
      @tathnousoxide9707 3 года назад +1

      @@Croftice1 did u just go matrix on his ass

  • @erviatangerine5108
    @erviatangerine5108 6 лет назад +549

    "You must stimulate evil"
    "Don't be afraid to take things from them"
    "You can use violence for a long time"
    seems like Google inspired a lot of comic books villains

  • @cronch5268
    @cronch5268 6 лет назад +582

    Google translate....
    *Pats Google translate's shoulder*
    Oh, Google Translate...

    • @voiceoreason9884
      @voiceoreason9884 6 лет назад +8

      This is almost like something my mother and I joke about when playing with Google Translate. We always use the same set of five languages, one of which is Maori, and it always messes up way worse than any of the others. We always talk about patting it on the head and saying "Oh, Maori".

    • @melitopiia4730
      @melitopiia4730 6 лет назад +1

      ​@@voiceoreason9884 If I may ask, what are the other four languages you use?

    • @voiceoreason9884
      @voiceoreason9884 6 лет назад +2

      @@melitopiia4730 Latin, Korean, Arabic, and German, our objective was to pick languages that all came from different language families for maximum confusion. I always go in the order Latin-Korean-Arabic-German-Maori and my mom uses Arabic-Korean-Maori-German-Latin. We sometimes run the same text through both sequences, and it comes out quite different, just by changing the order of the languages.

  • @unforeseenbreach141
    @unforeseenbreach141 5 лет назад +782

    As a Libra, I can confirm that I want to open doors and break my legs.

  • @jocelynhyde2197
    @jocelynhyde2197 5 лет назад +58

    *” are you considering taking on the role of a spoon”* - Google translate, Jan 24th, 2019

  • @keicullen4139
    @keicullen4139 6 лет назад +276

    “Life is good, so keep this in mind ............and you will be harmed today”
    Omg aso trueeee😂😂😂

  • @amnesiacwhaleshark2413
    @amnesiacwhaleshark2413 6 лет назад +381

    "Soo, what's your favourite type of exercise?"
    "You know, nothing burns calories more than running on a speedy-speed"

    • @pondboy3682
      @pondboy3682 6 лет назад +35

      Thanks! That will help a lot when Satan takes me to the pasta!

    • @sabliath9148
      @sabliath9148 6 лет назад +18

      Yes, you must do it for your healthy health!

    • @YouTubeExplore777
      @YouTubeExplore777 6 лет назад +3

      How do I go fast without being fasty fast?

    • @arcanearc
      @arcanearc 5 лет назад +2

      Nerion, Espy Of Wolves eat a gradually watermelon

    • @YouTubeExplore777
      @YouTubeExplore777 5 лет назад

      @@arcanearc Eat a Google dinner.

  • @jayflight1395
    @jayflight1395 5 лет назад +1304

    "Scorpion in debt"
    When I heard this I just imagined a scorpion going "ah man I gotta pay my bills😥"

    • @jayflight1395
      @jayflight1395 5 лет назад +26

      This is the most likes I've ever gotten

    • @Andromeda823
      @Andromeda823 4 года назад +39

      My dick is difficult but exceptional is what made my laugh into tears.

    • @minthesis
      @minthesis 4 года назад +16

      I classify as one of these

    • @AnitaG2003
      @AnitaG2003 4 года назад +30

      Yes.
      Us scorpions are broke.

    • @worldsworstyapper
      @worldsworstyapper 4 года назад +14

      We need money

  • @ishopmyface
    @ishopmyface 4 года назад +38

    _"if you want to go on, you have to make sure that things are going on."_
    - google translate, 2019

  • @LilSiannyBean
    @LilSiannyBean 5 лет назад +1186

    *Cancer: "You've made a decision for the first time"*
    Me: *Tries to be offended but can't make a decision for the life of me.*

    • @rexcake
      @rexcake 4 года назад +20

      This is how you feel when your mom let's you have some money to spend

    • @angeldenman5427
      @angeldenman5427 4 года назад +20

      That is sick*

    • @zukamimotu..2071
      @zukamimotu..2071 4 года назад +15

      I'm also a cancer and I also have problems with choice
      *Coincidence?* I THINK *_NOT_*
      ktimetogostartbelievinginhoroscopenonesensebye

    • @x_itzliana_x4324
      @x_itzliana_x4324 4 года назад +1

      @@zukamimotu..2071 same

    • @runa2604
      @runa2604 4 года назад +1

      I am guessing you are a Libra

  • @chloesantos8637
    @chloesantos8637 5 лет назад +641

    The fact that ‘Cancer’ is translated to ‘That is Sick’ is so funny to me

  • @Patience-gd4qu
    @Patience-gd4qu 5 лет назад +1711

    Malinda: you are a good leader
    Google: you can use violence
    This got me CHOKING 😂

  • @itsahexagon
    @itsahexagon 5 лет назад +590

    Aries: Wheeled Wheels - the Time symbol
    Taurus: Mule - well OK
    Gemini: Twin Kids - yep
    Cancer: That Is Sick - entirely appropriate
    Leo: Kitty! - ENTIRELY appropriate
    Virgo: It Is Right - i guess
    Libra: a LoT: oh definitely
    Scorpio: Scorpion In Debt - somebody better Make Her Pay
    Sagittarius: Cancer -
    Capricorn: Dragon - in the TvTropes "The Dragon" sense this works
    Aquarius: Wodnik - what
    Pieces: Moist - well OK...

    • @somename625
      @somename625 4 года назад +81

      Wodnik is Aquarius in Polish

    • @heinrich.hitzinger
      @heinrich.hitzinger 4 года назад +21

      *Pisces (not pieces)

    • @somename625
      @somename625 4 года назад +8

      @@heinrich.hitzinger Exactly!

    • @karolkozik5918
      @karolkozik5918 4 года назад +12

      Wodnik is Aquarius in Polish so...

    • @TrimutiusToo
      @TrimutiusToo 4 года назад +18

      Wodnik is Aquarius in Polish, it managed to translate it to Polish but failed to translate it back...

  • @theweirdo6833
    @theweirdo6833 6 лет назад +341

    *Life is good! Keep that in mind, and you'll be harmed today*
    Me:....

    • @e.s.lavall9219
      @e.s.lavall9219 6 лет назад +8

      Pessimists will be fine

    • @pluto3194
      @pluto3194 6 лет назад +4

      Seems accurate. Whenever I have a good day shit goes wrong

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад

      @@pluto3194 Both of these are contradictions.

  • @BarterTom
    @BarterTom 5 лет назад +345

    “The work of Denmark is like... and I don’t know what I’m doing.”
    So basically Hamlet.

  • @caughtinyourtrance
    @caughtinyourtrance 5 лет назад +795

    _“If you want to achieve the goal of the day, consider living.”_
    *-Google Translate, 2019*

    • @theramendutchman
      @theramendutchman 4 года назад +34

      However it mnight be more complicated than you think

    • @awaywiththefaeries9464
      @awaywiththefaeries9464 4 года назад +13

      Well, they’re not wrong...

    • @Ssspork
      @Ssspork 4 года назад +10

      but it may be harder then expected

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 3 года назад +4

      I was planning to die out of laughter, but I guess now I should reconsider......

    • @honeypie4156
      @honeypie4156 3 года назад +4

      you can do that

  • @awethebird
    @awethebird 3 месяца назад +2

    4:48 I always love it when google translate does duplicate words or random lowercase words after a full stop

  • @aili8591
    @aili8591 6 лет назад +164

    “If you have pain, you can get fit!”
    My gym teachers every day

  • @QuackersLikesToQuack
    @QuackersLikesToQuack 5 лет назад +1843

    “Hey what’s your Zodiac sign?”
    “Wheeled Wheels”

  • @willnotshutup
    @willnotshutup 6 лет назад +400

    "The work of Denmark is like..
    but I do not know what I'm doing"
    Me at a geography test

    • @kazooplayer3
      @kazooplayer3 6 лет назад +11

      thats me at a math test

    • @koolkitty108
      @koolkitty108 6 лет назад +6

      ^ the truth. (The math tests).

    • @Birtheish
      @Birtheish 6 лет назад +12

      I am Danish and I don't know what I'm doing especially when I am working

    • @elideangeli5098
      @elideangeli5098 6 лет назад +2

      Jessica LoveGood me at the geography bee today at school

    • @ToriEnglishArtsandPaws
      @ToriEnglishArtsandPaws 6 лет назад +3

      I am from Denmark, so this is even more hilarious 🤣

  • @nikapokrovsky1955
    @nikapokrovsky1955 4 года назад +106

    "You've made a decision for the first time"
    "If you have pain you can get fit"
    "If you want to achieve the goal of the day, consider living"
    When Google Translate is more accurate than the actual Horoscope..

    • @NSegaXP
      @NSegaXP 3 года назад +9

      Don’t forget:
      Do not miss too much happy things
      And:
      Counting is important

  • @kaechidi5025
    @kaechidi5025 6 лет назад +173

    “Scorpion in debt”
    Weird flex but ok

  • @ludek9071
    @ludek9071 6 лет назад +180

    So, I'm a Cancer, let's see what my horoscope for today is!
    "But I don't know what I'm doing!"
    Yup, that's right

  • @arnerademacker8548
    @arnerademacker8548 6 лет назад +219

    I guess I'll check my horoscope, what could go wrong...
    *LOOK AT YOUR SINS*
    Well, alrighty then.

    • @nabielw
      @nabielw 6 лет назад +3

      Mine:
      *Two men were killed in their lives*
      Yikes

    • @wanderyonder3009
      @wanderyonder3009 6 лет назад +2

      My horoscope features the phrases, “Yes, this is the end,” and, “Without Russia, there is no time to think,” even though I hate the apocalypse and communist countries. 🤦‍♂️

    • @felipet.m.
      @felipet.m. 6 лет назад +3

      @@nabielw and "don't be afraid to take things from them"
      Are we supposed to rob two dead people?

    • @nabielw
      @nabielw 6 лет назад +3

      @@felipet.m. idk, also we're supposed to take a role as a spoon? Apparently???

    • @martintobar7966
      @martintobar7966 6 лет назад +1

      Wander Yonder that’s my horoscope too :D
      Also Russia is not Communist anymore :/

  • @sr42009
    @sr42009 4 года назад +70

    I seriously wanna see Malinda's Google Translate history-

  • @andymac8437
    @andymac8437 5 лет назад +282

    “ *If you want things to go on, you have to make sure that things are going on_* “ Your daily dose of logic.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад +8

      `Contrariwise,’ continued Tweedledee, `if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.’

    • @eMorphized
      @eMorphized 4 года назад +1

      I think Google Translate meant "now is the time to take control".

    • @meganb.2249
      @meganb.2249 4 года назад +1

      @@japanpanda2179 I really want to take two fingers and shorten your name to Japanda.

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 4 года назад

      @@meganb.2249 That's totally the idea but I wasn't sure if people would get it if I shortened the name

  • @Star_Jewel
    @Star_Jewel 6 лет назад +181

    "Are you considering taking on a role like a spoon?" As a matter of fact, I am. That spoon shortage in Egypt is no joke!

  • @TheNoteblockLizard
    @TheNoteblockLizard 6 лет назад +870

    "Speedy speeds" XD
    Who said anything about the gutter? I'm already in the sewers! XD

  • @Tripp-y9b
    @Tripp-y9b Год назад +4

    3:15 "In the whole world, you can enjoy the creatures. Make sure you do this."
    basically Pokémon in a nutshell.

  • @bugbear2357
    @bugbear2357 6 лет назад +150

    Try not to rush things-
    *_TRY IT ALL_*
    My inner monologue
    Actually the whole "Cancer" horoscope is an accurate representation of me at 3am

  • @Namadu7
    @Namadu7 6 лет назад +612

    2:11
    - "If you want to achieve the goal of the day, consider living."
    2:40
    - "If you have passed away, you will lose your chance."
    Kitty and It Is Right are pretty closely related, aren't they?

  • @MascotHorrorFan
    @MascotHorrorFan 6 лет назад +297

    The life of an optimistic person:
    “Life is good, so keep this in mind and you will be harmed today”

    • @teaartist6455
      @teaartist6455 5 лет назад +7

      Try being a pessimist, that way, any surprise is a good one.

    • @CarMedicine
      @CarMedicine 5 лет назад +5

      @@teaartist6455 Life is awful, don't remember this so that you can harm yourself.

  • @puredemon5926
    @puredemon5926 5 лет назад +63

    Scorpio: LOOK AT YOUR SINS.
    Me: Huh. One step ahead, I already do that daily.

    • @BigRockyGaming
      @BigRockyGaming Год назад

      I REFUSE to believe in horoscopes. However the GT is the most accurate one. Guess I’m gonna look at my sons now dude.

  • @OrangeKyle91
    @OrangeKyle91 6 лет назад +284

    0:55 "You have to make an interesting lecture on this topic."
    The life of a teacher.

    • @TheNewOrchestra
      @TheNewOrchestra 6 лет назад +31

      1:01 "Answer the questions!"
      The life of a student.

    • @colewong7431
      @colewong7431 5 лет назад +11

      Counting is important!

  • @Tarmax94
    @Tarmax94 5 лет назад +452

    "If you have passed away, you will lose your chance" oh really?

    • @orchideqvinox765
      @orchideqvinox765 5 лет назад +9

      Especially if your name is Jamal

    • @neonthefox3550
      @neonthefox3550 5 лет назад +2

      But "you would soon be able to sell it"

    • @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967
      @cedartheyeah.justyeah.3967 5 лет назад +1

      Challenge accepted. Not going to die or anything, I just want ghosts to have rights.

    • @MissEarthling
      @MissEarthling 5 лет назад +1

      "Is that a challenge?"

    • @emadmary4271
      @emadmary4271 4 года назад

      @@orchideqvinox765 is that a lilly singh reference

  • @georgiak6965
    @georgiak6965 6 лет назад +438

    You should do a Google translates kids' fairytales
    Edit: omg thank you for the likes!

    • @musicwiggle22
      @musicwiggle22 6 лет назад +8

      Humpty Dumpty (little fat bag)
      Chile? (Cinderella)
      The glory of the animal (Beauty & The Beast)

    • @jasmineqiang90
      @jasmineqiang90 6 лет назад +10

      Small red red (guess which one that is haha)

    • @musicwiggle22
      @musicwiggle22 6 лет назад +4

      @@jasmineqiang90 little red riding hood

    • @Arkylie
      @Arkylie 6 лет назад +7

      Yes absolutely!
      Snow White and Rose Red?
      The Fool of the World and His Flying Ship?

    • @nabielw
      @nabielw 6 лет назад +2

      Yes!!!

  • @dacoolnesschannel5083
    @dacoolnesschannel5083 4 года назад +25

    German officer to soldieron kristllnacht: "You must open the door and do sad things."

  • @screemumsm9991
    @screemumsm9991 6 лет назад +106

    Constellation: Cancer
    Google Translate: This is Sick
    well.

  • @tamu7243
    @tamu7243 5 лет назад +402

    The work of Denmark is like; "but I don't know what I am doing"
    Way too acurate.

    • @JachAnen
      @JachAnen 5 лет назад +12

      Can confirm

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад +8

      But how so? Denmark seems like such an awesome place.

    • @navntoft6984
      @navntoft6984 5 лет назад +23

      Denmark is an awesome place, but looking into our history it is clear Google Translate is right this time around. We went from being vikings and owning most of Scandinavia and some of England to being teeny tiny from losing to many wars.

    • @majesticchickenj1677
      @majesticchickenj1677 5 лет назад +2

      @@navntoft6984 Det er alt for sandt

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад +7

      @@navntoft6984 Well I mean... You still own Greenland, which is a big plus.

  • @michellexx8593
    @michellexx8593 6 лет назад +84

    "You want to prepare to open the door and break your legs"

  • @aygian1176
    @aygian1176 4 года назад +19

    Scorpion in Debt.
    *Ahh... yes, the Greek Scorpions are here.*
    (Quite literary, since all these horoscopes started in Greece)

    • @flyingspacebrainedidiot
      @flyingspacebrainedidiot 4 года назад

      Wait so the whole thing is
      Scorpion in debt,
      Lion in debt,
      Crab in debt,
      Horse guy dude thing in debt,
      Goat mermaid in debt...?

  • @TamarasDumb
    @TamarasDumb 6 лет назад +294

    Let's stop watching normal English and trust Google translate

  • @maxautisticpro
    @maxautisticpro 6 лет назад +177

    I'm "kitty" and I agree Google translate, I agree.

    • @raileyfrominsideout
      @raileyfrominsideout 6 лет назад +7

      Im kitty too!

    • @JustSomeCanuck
      @JustSomeCanuck 6 лет назад +15

      Things are actually quite good for us kitties. We're not going to break our legs in a door, no one is going to die, and we're not mean to Denmark for absolutely no reason.

    • @olilovesundertale3588
      @olilovesundertale3588 6 лет назад +6

      I would like your comment but... 69 likes....

    • @koolkitty108
      @koolkitty108 6 лет назад +1

      I’m *Kitty* Love, but sadly I’m a lot. :(

    • @RavenLunatic517
      @RavenLunatic517 6 лет назад +2

      Me too! I'm kitty!

  • @cel3142
    @cel3142 6 лет назад +73

    "keep this in mind: you WILL be harmed today"

    • @Skylight_xX
      @Skylight_xX 6 лет назад +4

      Tiger Epic I was already harmed when I came out of the womb

    • @pondboy3682
      @pondboy3682 6 лет назад +1

      Truer words were never spoken

    • @elanorallmann
      @elanorallmann 6 лет назад +2

      I am waiting for the Harming right now... slightly scared! 😐😐😂

    • @anonymousperson2958
      @anonymousperson2958 5 лет назад

      SkylightGamer wot

  • @MyDogStoleMyLiver
    @MyDogStoleMyLiver 4 года назад +8

    just run up into a gym like "hey I'm going to hop on the Speedy speed"

  • @mariab6210
    @mariab6210 6 лет назад +316

    I am a That is Sick, and I've really appreciated my first ever decision and its connection to Denmark today.
    Don't ever let anyone tell you horoscopes aren't real.

    • @emanatingf
      @emanatingf 6 лет назад +2

      @Maria B Word

    • @ArtisticSin
      @ArtisticSin 5 лет назад +8

      Maria B I am a mule I have no clue what I was should have done

    • @whotao3047
      @whotao3047 5 лет назад +2

      I am a *m o i s t* and I see so that Denmark can be very important for the that sicks, I am too wonderful and faulty and muscle perfection of the mind is ideal for me and preferably for you, No discussion.

    • @MAH-ZEE
      @MAH-ZEE 5 лет назад

      Oof

    • @floo1465
      @floo1465 5 лет назад +2

      Emanating Faucet I am a Wheeled Wheel.

  • @iheartkiecats
    @iheartkiecats 5 лет назад +237

    "If you want things to go on, you have to make sure that things are going on."
    Words to live by

    • @lara8975
      @lara8975 4 года назад +1

      Aut there si no soon. T si your, what si bendino.

    • @AdinaIspas
      @AdinaIspas 3 года назад +1

      Twin Kids mantra for sure!

    • @bubbykins4864
      @bubbykins4864 2 года назад +1

      Basically the same thing as the untranslated version, but it makes more sense than "take a swan and breathe it into your soul" from the meditation video instead of less.

  • @BeastKonoha
    @BeastKonoha 6 лет назад +515

    Funfact: in Polish Aquarius is Wodnik, so that means Google Translator got one thing right.

    • @stilljamming
      @stilljamming 5 лет назад +2

      BeastKonoha World I already wrote a comment about it, but my channel was deleted.

    • @lanabanana9038
      @lanabanana9038 5 лет назад +3

      Fun fact: Nobody cares about that dying language

    • @stilljamming
      @stilljamming 5 лет назад +7

      So... not really dying, more like stagnating.

    • @crazyweirdgirl115
      @crazyweirdgirl115 5 лет назад +63

      @@lanabanana9038 funfact: polish people exist, speak polish, and care about the language.

    • @lanabanana9038
      @lanabanana9038 5 лет назад +1

      @@crazyweirdgirl115 yeah, that's disgusting. Don't admit to that

  • @potato5875
    @potato5875 4 года назад +5

    "If you wanted to achieve your goal of the day, consider living. You can do that."

    • @conlon4332
      @conlon4332 4 года назад +2

      However it might be more complicated than expected.

  • @kahaboebs
    @kahaboebs 5 лет назад +2001

    Aries: WHEELED WHEELS
    Taurus: MULE
    Gemini: TWIN KIDS
    Cancer: THAT IS SICK
    Leo: KITTY
    Virgo: IT IS RIGHT
    Libra: a LoT
    Scorpio: SCORPION IN DEBT
    Sagittarius: CaNcEr
    Capricorn: DRAGON
    Aquarius: WODNIK
    Pisces: MOIST

    • @Paula-vq5pt
      @Paula-vq5pt 5 лет назад +197

      Well
      Twin kids it is

    • @caitlynpreijers5260
      @caitlynpreijers5260 5 лет назад +267

      Why does Capricorn get the coolest translated name and I'm stuck with Moist? 😂😭

    • @colsonweiser5648
      @colsonweiser5648 5 лет назад +45

      @@caitlynpreijers5260 it is right

    • @thomasboese3793
      @thomasboese3793 5 лет назад +57

      @@caitlynpreijers5260
      Pisces, being Moist and Genini, Twin Kids; my dear lady; got the only "Joe Cool" approved translated names.

    • @Vortexiiixii
      @Vortexiiixii 5 лет назад +89

      I'm cAnCeR

  • @thegoodkindofweirdo
    @thegoodkindofweirdo 6 лет назад +461

    Them: "hey what's your sign?"
    Me: *Twin Kids*

  • @fluffyman85
    @fluffyman85 6 лет назад +32

    "You must stimulate evil!"
    ...I'm not so certain where to begin with that.

    • @anaburke227
      @anaburke227 6 лет назад +1

      First, take away candy from a baby in a stroller that HIS DAD is PUSHING. This must be done exactly 38 feet away from your mailbox.

  • @risxra
    @risxra 3 года назад +5

    Over two years later and this still makes me cackle like an idiot. As a Sagittarius, “try to take it slow” vs “try it all!” is so funny. It’s like the horoscope tried to reign us in and we were like “absolutely not”

  • @eleonoracum5601
    @eleonoracum5601 6 лет назад +462

    Sagittarius is Cancer, Cancer is ''That is sick'', Gemini is ''Twin kids'' and Leo is ''Kitty''
    ok wHAT THE HECK GOOGLE

    • @silkwesir1444
      @silkwesir1444 6 лет назад +43

      Taurus is Mule and Capricorn is Dragon!

    • @crystalgoddess4085
      @crystalgoddess4085 6 лет назад +50

      I still want to know how only two got remotely close to what they're meant to be (Gemini being Twin Kids and Leo being Kitty), the rest are so completely off (although I guess Pisces is kind of close with Moist), then it decides to give Sagittarius an identity crisis.
      I mean Aries being Wheeled Wheels, how did Google Translate even get to that conclusion?

    • @stilljamming
      @stilljamming 6 лет назад +11

      Wodnik is actually the Polish of one of the horoscopes.

    • @sarahgargani5836
      @sarahgargani5836 6 лет назад +7

      @@crystalgoddess4085 i would not be surprised if Taurus became mule because both are beasts of burden and some languages may not distinguish between them as far as use goes.

    • @stilljamming
      @stilljamming 6 лет назад +2

      It is either a person who specialises in water or a mythical creature.

  • @isabellaanderson5328
    @isabellaanderson5328 6 лет назад +283

    But.... I'm a Sagittarius, not a Cancer. Oh well, gonna go stimulate evil now.

  • @deadbananaz4077
    @deadbananaz4077 6 лет назад +133

    *N O W B R E A K Y O U R L E G S*
    *EPIC DANCE

  • @rosepetunia1829
    @rosepetunia1829 5 лет назад +36

    "The work of Denmark is like... But I do not know what I'm doing!"
    People in Denmark: " They're on to us..."

  • @chrysopelea1986
    @chrysopelea1986 6 лет назад +323

    *Cancer* - I don't know what I'm doing. Pretty accurate tbh.

  • @Manu-xj4xy
    @Manu-xj4xy 6 лет назад +39

    Calling the lion a kitty is such a huge understatement... I don't want a lion as a pet. ^^

  • @lucyk4119
    @lucyk4119 6 лет назад +75

    Why does google translate make more sense than the actual horoscopes 😂

  • @Epic24123
    @Epic24123 4 года назад +14

    "you have to make an interesting lecture on this topic"
    "answer the questions!"
    English class in a nutshell

  • @adttv9586
    @adttv9586 5 лет назад +313

    I laughed way too hard at “THAT IS SICK!”

    • @johnc3179
      @johnc3179 4 года назад +11

      I laughed at “scorpion in debt” and “get your head out of the gutter it’s spelled with a capital D”

    • @Mochrie99
      @Mochrie99 3 года назад +4

      I lost it at "CANCER (???)". Especially since I'm a Sagittarius. Apparently my sign changed without me knowing, LOL!

    • @Mochrie99
      @Mochrie99 3 года назад +2

      @Andrew Loving Now break your legs **dance**

  • @britishsongbird
    @britishsongbird 5 лет назад +385

    Google translate: Consider taking on the role of a spoon
    Me: As an Aquarius I can confirm that I now identify as a spoon

    • @angeldenman5427
      @angeldenman5427 4 года назад +27

      Wodnik*

    • @vinny9868
      @vinny9868 4 года назад +4

      But are you the big spoon or little spoon

    • @lara8975
      @lara8975 4 года назад +3

      Eisenhower ti night be more complicate than your think

    • @rainbowcattail4282
      @rainbowcattail4282 3 года назад +4

      we are both wodniks

    • @cheepes3d
      @cheepes3d 3 года назад

      Sameee

  • @andyplaysgundam
    @andyplaysgundam 6 лет назад +38

    "If you want things to go on, you have to make sure that things are going on." This is basically horoscope, just a little bit more explicit lol

  • @TrimutiusToo
    @TrimutiusToo 4 года назад +14

    "If you have passed away, you will lose your chance..."
    You don't say...

  • @spaghettimist
    @spaghettimist 6 лет назад +151

    This translation is just beautiful. I love it. I died at "scorpion in debt" lol
    Also "wodnik" means aquarius in polish ;)

    • @spleens4200
      @spleens4200 2 года назад

      Oh that’s nice to know

  • @luk3p05-6
    @luk3p05-6 6 лет назад +380

    Please do an airline safety video next Malinda

  • @coki3984
    @coki3984 6 лет назад +760

    Aries - Wheeled Wheels
    Taurus - Mule
    Gemini - Twin Kids
    Cancer - That Is Sick
    Leo - Kitty
    Virgo - It Is Right
    Libra - A Lot
    Scorpio - Scorpion In Debt
    Sagittarius - Cancer
    Carpicorn - Dragon
    Aquarius - Wodnik
    Pisces - Moist
    Yes I re-write this comment 13 times
    Edit: Welp someone already done this...

    • @saph5461
      @saph5461 5 лет назад +49

      To be fair, Twin Kids and Kitty are not inaccurate.

    • @snufkin13823
      @snufkin13823 5 лет назад +2

      Im Libraaa

    • @nicholasvannoek7838
      @nicholasvannoek7838 5 лет назад +10

      @@snufkin13823 *a lot

    • @snufkin13823
      @snufkin13823 5 лет назад +10

      @@nicholasvannoek7838 oops yea I meant im a lot
      It was *totallY* autocorrect's fault, yea--

    • @nicholasvannoek7838
      @nicholasvannoek7838 5 лет назад +9

      @@snufkin13823 I'm an A Lot too

  • @lynnely_on_earth
    @lynnely_on_earth 2 года назад +3

    *_If you want to achieve the goal of the day, consider living! You can do that. However, it might be more complicated than expected._*

  • @colleenneathery484
    @colleenneathery484 6 лет назад +38

    I'm a "kitty" and I'm 80% sure Google is implying im in mortal danger

  • @eisudesu
    @eisudesu 5 лет назад +170

    The Cancer _(Saggitarius)_ one got me
    -Try not to rush everything-
    *TRY IT ALL!!!*

    • @japanpanda2179
      @japanpanda2179 5 лет назад +8

      So Cancers (who are actually Sagittarius) should try it all (yay Zootopia!) and try to stimulate evil (uhh...) all while opening the door and doing sad things.

    • @Andromeda823
      @Andromeda823 4 года назад

      Stimulate evil!! XD. I knew mom was ebil.

  • @worldfkwide9058
    @worldfkwide9058 6 лет назад +125

    „without russia there is no time to think“ i’m crying

    • @homuraakemi3165
      @homuraakemi3165 6 лет назад +8

      As a Russian I laughed so hard I fell of my chair

    • @neko6656
      @neko6656 6 лет назад +10

      Homura the emo nerd thank you for giving us time to think with your country

    • @homuraakemi3165
      @homuraakemi3165 6 лет назад +2

      @@neko6656 *you're welcome

    • @nyx_aka_jamieee
      @nyx_aka_jamieee 6 лет назад +2

      @@homuraakemi3165 same XD only, i fell off of my bed, not a chair

    • @notagamer2452
      @notagamer2452 5 лет назад

      Let's sing Russian national anthem

  • @pistachio6843
    @pistachio6843 4 года назад +13

    What people say: "if you are uncertain, lean on the folks around you to help cheer you on and cheer you up"
    My brain: *"that is not enough. you cannot do anything about it."*

  • @lindaloftas5703
    @lindaloftas5703 6 лет назад +90

    Come fellow Wodniks, lets form an army of spoons!

    • @MrGeldhart
      @MrGeldhart 6 лет назад +7

      Didn't you know that there's a spoon shortage? Not enough to form an army.

    • @ChildofGodjmh
      @ChildofGodjmh 6 лет назад +2

      Sporks maybe?

    • @ChaosZero0079
      @ChaosZero0079 6 лет назад +3

      I have a spatula.

    • @hazimhamid4992
      @hazimhamid4992 6 лет назад

      Battle between spoon and sponge

    • @nabielw
      @nabielw 6 лет назад

      What about a fork???

  • @MadHymek323
    @MadHymek323 5 лет назад +87

    "Do your homework!"
    "I'm just finishing up my exercises on the speedy speed!"

  • @rx500android
    @rx500android 6 лет назад +423

    *SPEEDY SPEED*

  • @idontknowanymore2437
    @idontknowanymore2437 4 года назад +13

    "Look at your sins!"
    "You must simulate evil."
    "You can use violence for a long time."

  • @sourwitch2340
    @sourwitch2340 6 лет назад +1096

    0:07 Wheeled Wheels (Aries)
    0:41 Mule (Taurus)
    1:03 Twin Kids (Gemini)
    1:36 That Is Sick (Cancer)
    2:02 Kitty (Leo)
    2:27 It Is Right (Virgo)
    2:59 A Lot (Libra)
    3:29 Scorpion In Debt (Scorpio)
    4:10 Cancer (Sagittarius)
    4:35 Dragon (Capricorn)
    4:57 Wodnik (Aquarius)
    5:23 Moist >ew< (Pisces)

    • @durdleduc8520
      @durdleduc8520 6 лет назад +116

      _where are all the _*_moists?_*

    • @gracer51
      @gracer51 6 лет назад +10

      Thanks so much!

    • @juliakrupa329
      @juliakrupa329 6 лет назад +91

      The funny thing is Wodnik means Aquarius in Polish

    • @EverSnaxolotl
      @EverSnaxolotl 6 лет назад +113

      So are you a Cancer or a... Cancer?

    • @sourwitch2340
      @sourwitch2340 6 лет назад +50

      @@EverSnaxolotl I'm a Kitty, actually.

  • @adirosemusic
    @adirosemusic 6 лет назад +77

    Virgo inspiration: "Remember that you know exactly what to do and how to do it.
    Google Translate (and actually me): "That is not enough. You cannot do anything about it."
    Sigh...

    • @miiiwu1999
      @miiiwu1999 6 лет назад +1

      Adeline Rose thebgoogle translate version is just virgos struggling with perfectionism lmao

  • @JeremyWS
    @JeremyWS 6 лет назад +23

    "You can use violence for a long time" -- sounds the motto of most long lasting empires.
    This was hilarious.
    Great video, keep up the good work.
    Have a nice day/night.

  • @gillianmarr8618
    @gillianmarr8618 4 года назад +3

    "If you want to achieve your goal of the day....consider LIVING. You can do that. However, it may be more complicated than expected. If you have pain, you can get fit."
    My google translate horoscope sounds like my gym teacher trying to come up with something nice to say about my athletic abilities.

  • @CUBERTOSCUBE
    @CUBERTOSCUBE 6 лет назад +99

    YOU CAN MAKE A DECISION. *FOR THE FIRST TIME!* (on the speedy speeds, perhaps?)

    • @isasa29
      @isasa29 5 лет назад

      Crazy Beans of course

  • @vanelly5652
    @vanelly5652 6 лет назад +207

    I clicked as fast as I could!
    What abomination did google birth this time!

  • @sadadokis2709
    @sadadokis2709 6 лет назад +433

    Can we all agree to change the name from LEO to KITTY XDDD

  • @Kazzzy03
    @Kazzzy03 5 лет назад +2

    "that is not enough, you can not do anything about it" wow scary how accurate that is

  • @cayetanoparallagjr.8918
    @cayetanoparallagjr.8918 6 лет назад +270

    *If you want to go on, you have to make sure things are going on*
    (Wipes Tear) Just, So inspirational Google, So inspirational
    OMG less than a day and 200+ likes, thanks everyone that’s a record! I barely get 20 likes on other comments 😂

    • @victor8100
      @victor8100 6 лет назад +7

      this is really importante when stimulating evil

    • @sinteleon
      @sinteleon 4 года назад

      @@victor8100 Or relegating tasks, or programming.

  • @bluebelluwu
    @bluebelluwu 5 лет назад +160

    5:23 apparently my star sign is now called “moist”
    Edit: “Why not just break your muscles?” Wow...thanks google translate...

    • @lugoorstar
      @lugoorstar 5 лет назад +12

      We can use violence for a long time

    • @Frappuccinoo
      @Frappuccinoo 4 года назад +2

      I am a wheel that has been wheeled

  • @myssiesart
    @myssiesart 6 лет назад +83

    Me, looking at my student loans: yep, I'm definitely a scorpion in debt... lmao

  • @arielcampbell7315
    @arielcampbell7315 Год назад +1

    Love the T-shirt Malinda!
    “Fill your boat and dive into the bush”
    My favorite