One thing I’ve learned from dealing with a narcissist is to NOT ask people for things they should know is required. Usually when you have to ask for something, that person didn’t want to give it to you anyway.
My friend had it out with her spouse. She actually showed one of Dr Hawkin video and she said he saiid all those things in that video where her and he is being abused. I told her run for the hills. I came across these videos on my feed I told her about them she said they are helping her see the light.😊😃
Yep…. Whether it’s he hasn’t done a chore or fix something he agreed to or an emotional boundary or agreement on how to treat one another is ignored…. or a mutual agreement to act a certain way with the kids and or do certain activities and take initiative… Any thing where he needs accountability . I am in capable of doing it. Not because I don’t know how but because when I calmly lovingly remind him to do anything. He won’t do it until he’s ready to deliberately makes me wait , he will argue that he never agreed, he will have forgotten that we agreed to it, and then I’m making it up; or he has some exception on why he doesn’t have to hold himself to the same standard as me at this moment or if it’s an emotional thing I deserve this right now because of XYZ…. Earlier, I would just fight back and try to reasoning with him, and it would default into a very toxic fight because I would try to feel like I was in the fight for my life to get what we agreed to sometimes because he asked me when he was talking with me initially to keep him accountable and let him back down 🤦♀️ I realized around seven or eight years ago that this wasn’t working and I needed to get healthy because maybe I was the problem like he was saying . So I got help. Lots of it.. went to a abuse and trauma ministry for weeks, went to my counseling, read books watched videos, journal, and introspected and tried everything with a new approach. Nothing changed . So I tried different approaches . It would be good for a bit and then we spiral backwards again not because I changed because I continue to do those things because I deep down in my heart want to get better . I know where I came from and I do not want it to me the rest of my life I want to get as healthy as I can. About two years ago, had epiphany that I can’t argue him into agreeing or doing anything so I went to my new church we were at (we have been to a lot of churches) and started getting help. Almost no one ever sees the other side of my husband everywhere I go. People are shocked with how nice he is and I think it’s hard for them to believe what I do with behind closed doors. But someone did believe me, and started giving me advice about how to not engage with him. I don’t think they realized how bad it was, but I did what they said, and then all of a sudden I was the awful uncaring wife who wouldn’t engage with him and do anything that he wanted to be done and I was emotionally distant. Only because I would not with him when he would say things that hurt. I wouldn’t even bring up that I was hurt and I would try to deal with that hurt through prayer and my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That angered him. And now a year later we have had situation where once I got com after we had a disagreement this whole weekend has been him upping and trying to find everything he can do to try to bait me into a fight, including pulling intimacy, affection away, and telling me he’s going to, and now acting like nothing happened. It’s hard, because I thought maybe I was making some things up; I genuinely thought maybe I was a major part of the problem and for a while I think my unhealthy state from the family I grew up in I was a part of that, but I’ve worked really hard to get more and more healthy. I started noticing the state of things back last January and it’s been a whirlwind and a very hard and it’s gotten progressively worse with my husband as I have pushed very hard to listen and try to heal. The more I heal the more I stay calm in it for some reason that throws them off and he thinks I’m being cold and distant… he says I don’t support him anymore. But he won’t tell me what he wants
Is this why he says he doesn’t care if I drink but don’t get drunk ? Then gets mad at me for drinking one beer and calls me a loser but I’m just doing what he asked? Ugh, nm but I keep coming back to your videos and podcasts. You guys are so accurate, much more accurate than anything else I’ve seen.
I’ve tried that. No one is strong enough to hold these people accountable unless they are trained on how to handle them. All of my friends literally can be tricked by him, and he gaslight them that he’s good, and will be held accountable … then he goes home and completely ignores. Everything they said, and disregards it, and does exactly whatever he wants and doesn’t follow through. And then I’m left with no ability to hold him accountable to the things we’ve agree to counseling and marital mentorship. I tried to remind him of our spiritual leaders, and marriage mentors told us to do, and I said a very kindly and calmly . And he said, f@& them all I don’t have to listen to them.
You will never held them accountable ,i tried and it always back fired ,i know it's hard to clam up but believe me it only brings more trouble to your life .
I befriended a guyanese girl at the casino. Her narcissistic ex is mentally abusive toward her in public by putting his hands firmly behind her chair and of course,she doesn't talk to anyone or even flinch! She's gray rock×2!
One thing I’ve learned from dealing with a narcissist is to NOT ask people for things they should know is required. Usually when you have to ask for something, that person didn’t want to give it to you anyway.
Every time I held my narc accountable there was backlash. You just couldn’t win you just couldn’t get ahead.
My friend had it out with her spouse. She actually showed one of Dr Hawkin video and she said he saiid all those things in that video where her and he is being abused. I told her run for the hills. I came across these videos on my feed I told her about them she said they are helping her see the light.😊😃
Going through that right now with my emotionally abusive spoue... It is so draining
@@anntastic1532
Don't bend that's what I tell my friend. And from what she tells me it is exhausting. 😕😕
@@Ratgirl2 thank you ❤🙏
Yep…. Whether it’s he hasn’t done a chore or fix something he agreed to or an emotional boundary or agreement on how to treat one another is ignored…. or a mutual agreement to act a certain way with the kids and or do certain activities and take initiative…
Any thing where he needs accountability . I am in capable of doing it. Not because I don’t know how but because when I calmly lovingly remind him to do anything.
He won’t do it until he’s ready to deliberately makes me wait , he will argue that he never agreed, he will have forgotten that we agreed to it, and then I’m making it up; or he has some exception on why he doesn’t have to hold himself to the same standard as me at this moment or if it’s an emotional thing I deserve this right now because of XYZ….
Earlier, I would just fight back and try to reasoning with him, and it would default into a very toxic fight because I would try to feel like I was in the fight for my life to get what we agreed to sometimes because he asked me when he was talking with me initially to keep him accountable and let him back down 🤦♀️
I realized around seven or eight years ago that this wasn’t working and I needed to get healthy because maybe I was the problem like he was saying .
So I got help. Lots of it.. went to a abuse and trauma ministry for weeks, went to my counseling, read books watched videos, journal, and introspected and tried everything with a new approach.
Nothing changed .
So I tried different approaches .
It would be good for a bit and then we spiral backwards again not because I changed because I continue to do those things because I deep down in my heart want to get better . I know where I came from and I do not want it to me the rest of my life I want to get as healthy as I can.
About two years ago, had epiphany that I can’t argue him into agreeing or doing anything so I went to my new church we were at (we have been to a lot of churches) and started getting help.
Almost no one ever sees the other side of my husband everywhere I go. People are shocked with how nice he is and I think it’s hard for them to believe what I do with behind closed doors.
But someone did believe me, and started giving me advice about how to not engage with him. I don’t think they realized how bad it was, but I did what they said, and then all of a sudden I was the awful uncaring wife who wouldn’t engage with him and do anything that he wanted to be done and I was emotionally distant. Only because I would not with him when he would say things that hurt. I wouldn’t even bring up that I was hurt and I would try to deal with that hurt through prayer and my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
That angered him. And now a year later we have had situation where once I got com after we had a disagreement this whole weekend has been him upping and trying to find everything he can do to try to bait me into a fight, including pulling intimacy, affection away, and telling me he’s going to, and now acting like nothing happened.
It’s hard, because I thought maybe I was making some things up; I genuinely thought maybe I was a major part of the problem and for a while I think my unhealthy state from the family I grew up in I was a part of that, but I’ve worked really hard to get more and more healthy.
I started noticing the state of things back last January and it’s been a whirlwind and a very hard and it’s gotten progressively worse with my husband as I have pushed very hard to listen and try to heal.
The more I heal the more I stay calm in it for some reason that throws them off and he thinks I’m being cold and distant… he says I don’t support him anymore.
But he won’t tell me what he wants
This was 🎯
Is this why he says he doesn’t care if I drink but don’t get drunk ? Then gets mad at me for drinking one beer and calls me a loser but I’m just doing what he asked? Ugh, nm but I keep coming back to your videos and podcasts. You guys are so accurate, much more accurate than anything else I’ve seen.
Absolutely he needs to be held accountable
That’s why I am in court dealing with him
Thank you so much and I share, share, share your videos.
So important all these videos are.
God bless you so much.
From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI
Good morning, watching from Tulsa Oklahoma.
How would you know if the narc was lying?
When you see there lips. Moving.
Who would have a friend hold him accountable please
I’ve tried that. No one is strong enough to hold these people accountable unless they are trained on how to handle them.
All of my friends literally can be tricked by him, and he gaslight them that he’s good, and will be held accountable … then he goes home and completely ignores. Everything they said, and disregards it, and does exactly whatever he wants and doesn’t follow through.
And then I’m left with no ability to hold him accountable to the things we’ve agree to counseling and marital mentorship.
I tried to remind him of our spiritual leaders, and marriage mentors told us to do, and I said a very kindly and calmly .
And he said, f@& them all I don’t have to listen to them.
You will never held them accountable ,i tried and it always back fired ,i know it's hard to clam up but believe me it only brings more trouble to your life .
Yep
I befriended a guyanese girl at the casino. Her narcissistic ex is mentally abusive toward her in public by putting his hands firmly behind her chair and of course,she doesn't talk to anyone or even flinch!
She's gray rock×2!
THATS Y I AM TAKING TO COURT BECAUSE HE WONT GET AWAY WITH IT!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
@@tinaureta9891 funny, OH REALLY?
@@tinaureta9891
AND I AM GOING TO WIN 🥇🙏🏻❤️
@@tinaureta9891 HE LOST BIG TIME
MR CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR
5 YEARS
ITS REAL FUNNY
THEN HE ABUSED 3 CHILDREN TO TOP IT OFF
HE STOLE MY CHILD FROM ME
I’m sorry