@@zacharygreene1979 Good luck to you Zachary! I'm starting to get better at catching myself as it starts, and telling myself "don't do it." All the best to you.
I can’t believe it took a random comment on RUclips to help me realize that I am addicted to anger. Crazy how the world works. Thanks for your comment, it’s seriously helping me see myself differently.
1. Stop reacting 1:08 2. Don't take it personally 2:11 3. Focus on your actions 2:56 4. It can make you better 3:44 5. Don't let it get to you 4:44 6. Don't seek revenge 5:18 7. Don't betray your standards 5:50 8. You control how you respond 6:44
Nearly every time I have gotten angry and acted on it, the results have been bad to terrible. Controlling my anger has been a lifelong struggle, and I can say that remaining calm when the alternative is to explode in anger, is indeed empowering.
It worked! Last night, my girlfriend started to push my buttons. I thought of this video and I said to myself: "Self ... she's just one of those people." And I reacted calmly. The situation was diffused and ended in 5 minutes. Strict with myself, tolerant of others.
@@logic7124 in general pretty good. I use the mantras all the time. Last night though, I messed up with my daughter and got angry with her. Not good. I'll make it up to her today. But still ... Thanks for asking!
@@elizabethd.2398 fortunately, she's not ... she worships me and takes care of me in all kinds of ways ... she just goes insane once in a while ... thanks for the comment, though
I think one of the most important lesson I've learned from the stoics is the feel the emotions not push them down. Go for a walk, work out, breathe, eat , hydrate and repeat. Digest them and take them apart and let thier power over you fade. Literally changed my life and be a better person.
I've spent much of my life trying to suppress all "bad" emotions while chasing "good" ones. This has led to addictions, running the hedonic treadmill with an un-scratchable itch, and lots of resentment. I've become more accepting of bad emotions and recognize it's just part of the human condition. Emotions are there to tell us something and guide us.
Thanks, I needed this today. A partner made a mistake that I had to even out, and it's just dumb luck that it didn't put me in financial jeopardy, and to make matters worse, he is completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation. The thing is, I need him a lot more than he needs me, and I was able to fix the situation without losing a ton of money I don't have. So this is me, calming myself the fuck down.
Thank you. Long ago, I used to stick to Stoicism, and my life was in control. Now, I am making a comeback into control. *I am glad I found you. I am subscribing, today.*
The thing I wish the most is to be able to control my temper. I've been diagnosed with Borderline Disorder and I swear, it's hell. It brings me down more and more.
I think one of the best ways I've learned to deal with negative emotion is through the game of golf. The game is literally about navigating obstacles and adversity. I've learned that just because something angers or annoys me, that doesn't give me a license to act out. Emotions cloud our judgement that's why road rage is such a thing because we lose the ability to momentarily think critically. Not in any way saying I'm immune to frustration but through experience I'm able to suppress it better, especially for petty stuff. One question that has helped me when I'm in the moment is, "will I even remember this a week from now?" Overwhelmingly the answer has been no.
I had anger problem in the past, really it was something higher than my control… but then freedom came🕊 How? Some people, Christian people, laid the hands on me and prayed for deliverance and I got completely set free🙌🏼❤️ I experienced true freedom that I never had before
My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with my best friend of 4 years. She was who I went to and told everything to and he was everything to me, I still can't believe either of them did this. I've been turning to the ideals of stoicism to deal with it. I don't even know how I came across the videos bc its only been a week since I found out. I was definitely searching how to deal with pain and hurt and thoughts of revenge. Somehow i found yours and others videos and it has been very helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the different emotions. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not at fault and that they did not care about me. They both told me they loved me while messing around behind my back. How do you get over that and let it pass by. It's so difficult, but I'm trying. I want to be the better person and move on. I want my revenge to be not caring and focusing more on myself rather than friends or family. I probably should get therapy, but that's also scary bc then I have to think about it.
You know what Nixon said to his staff when resigning and leaving the White House ? He said “People will hate you, but they don’t win unless you hate them back, and then you destroy yourself”. The stoicism videos will help. Good luck.
I agree with you point anger used in this manner can change the world. However, the video I think is about controlling anger and not reacting in a manner that is negative to oneself. What makes the anger righteous in what I ascribe to your thought is that righteous anger is best served in a controlled manner. Released with calculation. The anger is justifiably felt yet still controlled long enough to keep one motivated until justice has been done. The anger resolved is not for only personal gain or satisfaction but also for a greater good. Like you said, Righteous anger is a thing.
“Im mostly a normal human being”. What’s a normal human being? I’ve also never found myself in the best light during periods of anger. Cheers brother ❤
Magnificent philosophy. I have found it very helpful indeed in life. I was naturally very easy to anger and offend. I hated that and wanted to change. Now thanks to stoicism I only get affected by about 10% of what used to bother me. If something bad happens on the news I just say it doesn't matter I can't help them in any way so I immediately forget what happened and focus on improving myself and being happy with my situation. If I could help them I would. A stoic only needs to consider what one can achieve.
This was awesome, great video! When I work these principles, it works and I am more at peace, which is what matters the most. Happiness is great, but nothing beats real, sincere peace.
Love Ryan's emails, it's how I start my day. ❤ Thank you Ryan, God bless you for all you are doing for us, trying to make all of us think and then do better.
If you really struggle and need inner healing... praying and fasting is so powerful. I fasted 3 days and my eyesight got better and my head wasnt hurting like before. Still I struggle with inner demons like anxiety and anger but I believe the way is to turn to God and spend time with Him. And I believe some day I will by His grace overcome
I've read The Daily Stoic Journal and it's an awesome peace of art, thank you so much for that gift, and now I found you here explaining to me how to deal with anger, since I start reading stoicism I'm calm most of the time, but sometimes I lost it and just don't know how to take the anger out of me, it just stays
So so helpful! I found, w/luck, great help in therapy and self-help (AA) and your message is utterly consistent, thank you. My acupuncturist blew my mind: in TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) they call the liver "harmonizer of emotions". Kinda no-brainer, liver's job is to purify the blood. If liver function is impaired, impurities flow through our system, affecting everything including mood. As recovering alcoholic i certainly remember how grouchy one gets hungover. Paradoxically, abstaining from booze, great life saving choice, yet liver function remains impaired for quite a while. Hence the "dry drunk" syndrome, chronic grouch. I found this helpful. Always felt defective psychologically that i couldn't control anger. But it IS in our metabolism, where psyche has less, or even no, control. My primary tool, when i feel emotions run amuck, is: Detour the hell away!
watching this so i dont break a hole in my desk because of how bad i am at minecraft 😭💀 (also btw, yes, i do infact rage at minecraft. don't hesitate to call me a clown, a man-child, a nerd, and/or etc.)
Not caring is the best way. Hard to not care but, when it comes to people and not my own internal anger, the only way I found to deal with my anger over being betrayed is to not care and borderline hate the people. Now I need help getting rid of the hate. 🙄
Thank you for your work. It’s a positive contribution to a very lost generation who thinks it’s fashionable to be contrary and adversarial. This generation grew up with a diet of reality shows, trolling, and Tiktoc. These things help contribute to the normalization attitude that fighting and creating drama is normal. This generation is disadvantage. It has an incredibly high rate of homicides and suicides…My generation had an incredibly high rate of incredible music! (70 & 80’s) What the hell is going 😳. Thank you for being a light and for sharing your wisdom🕊
As a musician nothing ever comes of anger for me which is ironic that i enjoy playing heavy metal. The most creative ideas come with a smile on my face. No problems just solutions can become a way of life, but nothing comes easy if we choose to get in our own way by becoming our own worst enemy..
Nothing good has ever came from me losing my temper. Am reading Seneca on Anger and its brilliant. Amazing descriptions and analogys. How he talks about animals having a semblance of these emotions we have but not feeling them as deeply, and going from showing the most extreme emotions to just going back to grazing or falling a sleep like nothing happened. He is spot on. I read alot on biology. Animals are more Stoic than humans. He calls them dumb beasts lol. But i take it as them just being more Stoic than us. Not many other animals over think like we do. There might be alot of intelligence but not an over active imagination like we have. Wild animals dont feel sorry for themselves or doubt themselves or turn mole hills into mountains like us. They just get on with it and take life as it comes and they live truly in accordance with nature and their own.
As valuable as many of his ideas are, I'm pretty sure humans are personalizing how animals think, based on their similarity to what we perceive as facial expressions and expressions of affection/anger or the lack thereof. They sort of look like us sometimes, and sometimes they don't. It's easy to conclude they feel similar emotions, but not as deeply since they don't always look like that. You also wouldn't know if a wild animal made a mountain out of a molehill, because they'd probably die out of sight of humans. On the other hand, they wouldn't be able to pass on their genes as much as calmer wild animals, so that could be true.
@@verrealive spent my life with animals, I've always had pets. Dogs, but mostly cats, i know they dont sit around worrying and over thinking things like we do. I get close to my animals, i bond with them and like them better than people. Ive also worked in a slaughterhouse, i witness and watch their behaviour since i was a kid, since i was a kid ive been interested in the anatomy aswell. Animals on this planet including us are all connected. We're all the same but different. Animals have different components, we all have different components that give us different abilities. Alot of abilities can look or be the same, they can have a semblance, but theyre different. There is other species that are self aware and self conscious like us, and can ponder their own exsistence. But not them all. We are hard wired to run on instinct like all creatures. But we also have the ability to reign in our instincts, not all creatures have that ability. Alot of animals run soley on instincts and dont even recognise their own reflection, they think its another animal which may be a potential threat or possible mate, their not sure about it and are uncertain. But i know for a fact, animals are more Stoic than us, they are better than us in so many ways.
Theres lots of animals that are like us. But most think and and act on instinct and intuition alone. Like our own brain being split up into 3 categories. The brain stem, the limbic system and the neo cortex. The brain stem is known as the reptilian brain. Its boss. It governs us. It controls flight or fight mode. Smell. Wakefulness and Sleep. Fear and aggression is felt there, it controls appetite and hunger, sexual urges. Breathing and heart rate and blood pressure etc. All the most primal things we need to survive. This part of the brain works well with the mammalian brain, the limbic system. It forms our subconscious. But the reptilian brain can shutdown all other parts of the brain when we are in danger. We run on instincts like a crocodile. We share same base instincts and emotions with a crocodile. Our limbic system is where we feel higher emotions like anger, jealously, love and empathy, compassion etc etc. Thats why as mammals we rear and teach our young, unlike reptiles that lay eggs and fuck off to feed, fight and fuck. Our neo cortex, the cortical brain is the newest formed part of the brain which is todo with thinking ahead, imagination, rational thinking, reasoning ability, reigning in and controlling instincts, urges and impulses etc. Our brain has been likened to an animal menagerie, home to a lizard, horse and human all trying to inhabit the same body. I dont doubt for a second that animals have the ability to think, but they dont over think like we do, they dont sit and think and give themselves anxiety. Wild animals dont do that even more so since they are living truly in accordance with nature and their own. Animals in captivity and pets might show signs of bordem and neglect, but thats because of the environment. Theyve not sat and locked themselves away and thought themselves into a dark deep hole like humans can. Have you seen evidence of a wild animal sitting and thinking its self into a deep depression like a human can. Ive had to pull myself out of dark holes. Am also hyperfantasia. I have internal dialogue, i hear voices and my own, i can see and produce images and video playback in my minds eye, i have an extremly over active imagination. Its a blessing and a curse. I just dont recognise these traits in animals. And i know there is some really intelligent animals that do have the ability to ponder their own exsistence, so that would also mean being able to over think and imagine like us. Birds for example dont have a neo cortex. But scientists have discovered different set up and wiring in birds brains that allow them to be conscious and self aware like us. Its complex. All animals are different, with different components and abilities. Would be impossible to know how deeply they feel or what they think. But we can only go on what we observe and learn. Nature and animals are the best teachers 😎👍
@@verreal have u ever seen a wild animal bite n chew its own feet/nails with a glazed blank stair, obsessivly. And am talking about animals in their natural environment in the wild. Not a caged or trapped animal. I see alot of humans do this lol. You wont see animals feel sorry for themselves like us humans either. You might see a semblance of it when they lick their wounds, or if they are caged and trapped or they have an illness. But animals get on withit and are already focused on what is next in life or whatever nature throws their way. They go with the flow. They get over things and let things go. Cats can show signs of spite and revenge, but they let it go and dont hold a grudge that lasts days or even years. Like Seneca said, i see a semblance of these emotions in animals. But how deeply are they felt, and how much do animals go over thoughts and feelings and ideas in their heads. And do they cause themselves physical and mental health issues because of it.
@@verreal my current cat tries to bury its food and water bowls even though it just ate it all and there is nothing to bury. To me this is my cat following its instincts and intuition. Its not a sign of thinking ahead, fore thought. Because it surly would think...ive eaten all my food, what am i burying, why am i attempting to bury food when i just ate all of it?
I've been finding work very stressful, to the point that it's affecting my health. I know it's my attitude that has to change, so I'm glad I found this video. I'm going to try to drill "tolerant of others, strict with ourselves" into my mindset.
I've been getting the daily stoic for some time now. It is a valuable means of getting a thought to work with that may reflect on what I went through the previous day or even what is ahead through the following day.
Helped me tremendously with an incident today, that's been happening for awhile and I often react to impulsively. Today however, I deliberately turned my attention elsewhere wlling myself not to waste my energy on sth out if my control, but I could control my reaction to it. Instead of fuming for hours, I'd decompressed much sooner and was happily playing with my cat. Hope practice makes perfect.
I have struggled for many years with anger, resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it though and it's getting better. I worked with a 12 step sponsor and therapist on it and I had to write down my resents and how they have affected me so I could see the damage. Then I had to write down my part in the resentments. Now obviously in some cases you don't play a part like if you were abused but in conflicts both people play a part. This way you can see the wrongs you did, make amends, change your behaviors, build character, and if appropriate reconcile relationships. It's also important to remember that resentments only hurt you, not them. Personally I like psychology and learning about human behavior and why people act how they do. It's NOT justifying or condoning their actions, it just helps me have more compassion and wish them well. Some people are revenge seekers and obviously it's wrong and there are consequences bur you have to remember they will get there karma and there will be justice. If this motivates them to change and make amends then good.
This is such great advice. I have been through a very difficult situation and its ongoing over the past 18 months and my friends comment that my fortitude throughout the situation has been remarkable.I'm no way perfect but I have kept in mind and repeat throughout the day the stoic pillars: Courage Temperance Justice Wisdom It has helped me way beyond what I thought it would. Thankyou to the wonderful Stoics. 😊
I just sent this to my granddaughter. She had a problem at school the other day. I did explain these things to her and I believe in repetition. Hopefully it'll sink in.
I’ve had anger problems since I was a kid with multiple of my father figures dying when I was younger. It’s funny to also learn as you get older that you have control over your actions, and that control feels very good in those states. Some of us stay stuck in a state of anger, logic means nothing in the realm of wound up emotion. One action at a time winds you down, and focusing daily on the wind down so you nip anger when it starts. Also delivery packages In high heat weather made me pissed off all the time 😂 so I quit that job
Thanks. This certainly fits into my daily study. My wife's doctor was 45 minutes late and unprepared for the appointment. We managed our frustrated state and planned future action--find another, more caring cardiologist doctor.
Anger can be an unexamined addiction. My departed mother spent the majority of her life in anger. Unfortunately that is my dominant memory of her. What a legacy.
While it's true that it's very rarely that losing one's temper is useful, it CAN be at times, and it's hard to balance being passionate and excited with being in control at all times.
Marcus Aurelius talked the talk then walked the walk. His empire was facing war, famine, and disease yet during this time he wrote “meditations” instead of how everything was going down the drain. To answer the question from “Gladiator” he is known as the PHILOSOPHER. His book truly is genius and has helped a man like me ,with a temper ,working in a field that I can’t afford to act on it.
“Resentment leads to anger,anger leads to hatred,hatred leads to the dark side”.Yes it is a movie quote,but it doesn’t make it any less true or relevant.When you lose your temper,burst into a rage,you lose every time out.I have resentment and anger issues which I deal with every day,but as time has done on,I am learning to deal with that problem through pragmatism.Until you learn how to deal with your anger issues,you cannot have a productive life.I subscribed.✌️
OMG! I'm Norwegian Viking stock and we're stoic by our genes and upbringing. I'm 69 and Karma and Golden Rule are MY North 🌟! I don't seek validation, I feel I do the right thing to others and the best for myself most of the time. Succinct and profound. 👍🙏
I think it's more badass to have a big presence with a huge temper but not letting it go off to physical violence, personal attacks, talking over people, not being accepting of people laughing at you, etc.
Much love big man! I listen to your videos on the way to work most mornings. Gets my mind right for the day. Take the lessons in to the environment they are most likely to be exercised daily. Thank Ryan
Thanks for this video Ryan! I just found this channel but have been listening to your podcast ever since the Joe Rogan episode you were on. Happy to support this effort when and how I can. Please keep it up.
i needed this because im a piece of crap of a son just got mad at my mom for comparing me to my dad who wasn't the best husband lost it and closed the door in her face punched the door and got myself a 5th metacarpal fracture and my mom is obviously mad i feel like crap because i hurt my mom and i also harmed myself i only remind her of my dad and it hurts honestly i dont want to but my anger keeps getting me thanks for making this i need to start changing
I struggle with the “don’t let it get to you” because I cannot balance the concept of that essentially meaning that “they” are “getting away with it” or I’m essentially capitulating to the injustice. This is significantly playing itself out recently for reason most can guess…
I swear when I get mad at people I so proud of myself gives me the extra push to get my point across and not backdown when someone wants to challenge me even if I don’t articulate myself properly i feel like John cena walking around but that’s just me I guess
Last night I almost punched my little brother because he pushed one too many of my buttons. I felt so bad and guilty, that as soon as I did it, I told my parents about it, then I came here, trying to fix my issues. I’ll watch this, and I’ll hope it works.
"I have never once been proud of my self for loosing my temper"
so sigma broo
It was an epiphany to me to realize that I am addicted to anger. It is something I try to work on every day.
Same here, it's almost as if I enjoy snapping on people and look for reasons to do it.
@@zacharygreene1979 Good luck to you Zachary! I'm starting to get better at catching myself as it starts, and telling myself "don't do it." All the best to you.
I can’t believe it took a random comment on RUclips to help me realize that I am addicted to anger. Crazy how the world works. Thanks for your comment, it’s seriously helping me see myself differently.
“Strict with ourselves. Tolerant of others.” Great mantra!
Humans tend to be more insultingly critical of themselves than others.
@@theroom7469 any example?
@@jzen1455 to some extent but we often find excuses for our bad behavior and we're definitely a lot less tolerant of others than ourselves.
Like everything, if you take that to extremes, it won't be good. That could lead to poor self esteem. Be kind to yourself.
@@sudhanvakashyap297 The mask sign in his bookstore.
1. Stop reacting 1:08
2. Don't take it personally 2:11
3. Focus on your actions 2:56
4. It can make you better 3:44
5. Don't let it get to you 4:44
6. Don't seek revenge 5:18
7. Don't betray your standards 5:50
8. You control how you respond 6:44
Appreciate your Attention ☘️
Thank you
Reading all this made me angry. Just kidding. Great job. I think making jokes or saying something funny in a tense times helps.
THANKS FOR THE STAMPS.
Thank you so much for posting each of these strategies along with the timeline for each one!
Nearly every time I have gotten angry and acted on it, the results have been bad to terrible. Controlling my anger has been a lifelong struggle, and I can say that remaining calm when the alternative is to explode in anger, is indeed empowering.
I'm in the same camp as you. Anger never makes the situation better. Not an easy lesson to learn.
I love that word, Empowering!
Tough lesson to learn. Me too. Lifelong battle with me. Depression too.
It feels humiliating to me and i don't know how to change it.
@trashman1605, same here
It worked! Last night, my girlfriend started to push my buttons. I thought of this video and I said to myself: "Self ... she's just one of those people." And I reacted calmly. The situation was diffused and ended in 5 minutes. Strict with myself, tolerant of others.
Uh oh ... for about the past week or so, I've been slipping back into my old pattern. Gotta get back into the Stoic groove.
@@BeatlesBowieKrimson how are you now
@@logic7124 in general pretty good. I use the mantras all the time. Last night though, I messed up with my daughter and got angry with her. Not good. I'll make it up to her today. But still ...
Thanks for asking!
If your girlfriend is a narcissist, I suggest you get out of the relationship ASAP - because it only gets worse with time.
@@elizabethd.2398 fortunately, she's not ... she worships me and takes care of me in all kinds of ways ... she just goes insane once in a while ... thanks for the comment, though
I think one of the most important lesson I've learned from the stoics is the feel the emotions not push them down. Go for a walk, work out, breathe, eat , hydrate and repeat. Digest them and take them apart and let thier power over you fade. Literally changed my life and be a better person.
I've spent much of my life trying to suppress all "bad" emotions while chasing "good" ones. This has led to addictions, running the hedonic treadmill with an un-scratchable itch, and lots of resentment. I've become more accepting of bad emotions and recognize it's just part of the human condition. Emotions are there to tell us something and guide us.
@@jzen1455
Yes 👍
Yes exactly as the quote: Stoicism, in our day, is not strength to overcome wishes, but to hide them."-Rollo May, 'Love and Will.'
Keep on growing 💗
This sounds great, thanks!
"The Best Revenge Is Not Being Like Them" ... I will never forget this
I think when I lose my temper it’s when I’m criticizing myself and disappointed, comes out as anger toward someone else but is really about me
"I am never proud of my self for loosing my temper"
This is why getting angry just makes me angry. Disappointing myself.
This is my #1 fault that I struggle with every day. Thank you for this video.
Me too
We all in this together man
needed this. only like 4 min into the vid & i already feel better. gonna leave this comment so when ppl like it i can rewatch it. thank you❤
Thanks, I needed this today. A partner made a mistake that I had to even out, and it's just dumb luck that it didn't put me in financial jeopardy, and to make matters worse, he is completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation. The thing is, I need him a lot more than he needs me, and I was able to fix the situation without losing a ton of money I don't have. So this is me, calming myself the fuck down.
Thank you. Long ago, I used to stick to Stoicism, and my life was in control. Now, I am making a comeback into control. *I am glad I found you. I am subscribing, today.*
The thing I wish the most is to be able to control my temper. I've been diagnosed with Borderline Disorder and I swear, it's hell. It brings me down more and more.
I think one of the best ways I've learned to deal with negative emotion is through the game of golf. The game is literally about navigating obstacles and adversity. I've learned that just because something angers or annoys me, that doesn't give me a license to act out. Emotions cloud our judgement that's why road rage is such a thing because we lose the ability to momentarily think critically. Not in any way saying I'm immune to frustration but through experience I'm able to suppress it better, especially for petty stuff. One question that has helped me when I'm in the moment is, "will I even remember this a week from now?" Overwhelmingly the answer has been no.
I really need this. I am bipolar and REALLY need to get my anger under control. It seems to come from nowhere sometimes.
This is me. If I had had the tools available today when I was younger, I'd be a different person today. Thank you for this.
I need to listen to this OVER AND OVER and over again!!!
Phew! Really needed to hear that this morning.
I’m great at controlling my temper, my issue is not being spiteful when I’m channeling my anger.
Thanks dude…. My Anger issues is something I’m working on…
We don't control what happens to us. We control how we respond it.
I had anger problem in the past, really it was something higher than my control… but then freedom came🕊
How? Some people, Christian people, laid the hands on me and prayed for deliverance and I got completely set free🙌🏼❤️ I experienced true freedom that I never had before
Nice. Check out Jesse Lee Peterson.
My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with my best friend of 4 years. She was who I went to and told everything to and he was everything to me, I still can't believe either of them did this.
I've been turning to the ideals of stoicism to deal with it. I don't even know how I came across the videos bc its only been a week since I found out. I was definitely searching how to deal with pain and hurt and thoughts of revenge. Somehow i found yours and others videos and it has been very helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the different emotions. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not at fault and that they did not care about me. They both told me they loved me while messing around behind my back. How do you get over that and let it pass by. It's so difficult, but I'm trying. I want to be the better person and move on. I want my revenge to be not caring and focusing more on myself rather than friends or family. I probably should get therapy, but that's also scary bc then I have to think about it.
It's been a year! I hope you are doing way better now and you got to move on from this
You know what Nixon said to his staff when resigning and leaving the White House ? He said “People will hate you, but they don’t win unless you hate them back, and then you destroy yourself”. The stoicism videos will help. Good luck.
Thank you for all the work Ryan.
it is most appreciated.
I know a bit of topic, but his eyes are SO beautiful.. eh Wow...✨
Anger does not always make things worse.
Righteous anger is a thing.
I agree with you point anger used in this manner can change the world. However, the video I think is about controlling anger and not reacting in a manner that is negative to oneself. What makes the anger righteous in what I ascribe to your thought is that righteous anger is best served in a controlled manner. Released with calculation. The anger is justifiably felt yet still controlled long enough to keep one motivated until justice has been done. The anger resolved is not for only personal gain or satisfaction but also for a greater good. Like you said, Righteous anger is a thing.
“Im mostly a normal human being”. What’s a normal human being?
I’ve also never found myself in the best light during periods of anger. Cheers brother ❤
Also… this is the content humans are most thirsty for. Whether we know it or not.
Magnificent philosophy. I have found it very helpful indeed in life. I was naturally very easy to anger and offend. I hated that and wanted to change. Now thanks to stoicism I only get affected by about 10% of what used to bother me. If something bad happens on the news I just say it doesn't matter I can't help them in any way so I immediately forget what happened and focus on improving myself and being happy with my situation. If I could help them I would. A stoic only needs to consider what one can achieve.
This was awesome, great video! When I work these principles, it works and I am more at peace, which is what matters the most. Happiness is great, but nothing beats real, sincere peace.
Marcus Aurelius: "Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense."
Love Ryan's emails, it's how I start my day.
❤
Thank you Ryan, God bless you for all you are doing for us, trying to make all of us think and then do better.
If you really struggle and need inner healing... praying and fasting is so powerful. I fasted 3 days and my eyesight got better and my head wasnt hurting like before. Still I struggle with inner demons like anxiety and anger but I believe the way is to turn to God and spend time with Him. And I believe some day I will by His grace overcome
I've read The Daily Stoic Journal and it's an awesome peace of art, thank you so much for that gift, and now I found you here explaining to me how to deal with anger, since I start reading stoicism I'm calm most of the time, but sometimes I lost it and just don't know how to take the anger out of me, it just stays
Been working on my anger problem lately, this stuff helps.
I’ve recently started listening to your videos whilst I workout.
It’s been an absolute game changer for me. Thank you!
💚
So so helpful! I found, w/luck, great help in therapy and self-help (AA) and your message is utterly consistent, thank you. My acupuncturist blew my mind: in TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) they call the liver "harmonizer of emotions". Kinda no-brainer, liver's job is to purify the blood. If liver function is impaired, impurities flow through our system, affecting everything including mood. As recovering alcoholic i certainly remember how grouchy one gets hungover. Paradoxically, abstaining from booze, great life saving choice, yet liver function remains impaired for quite a while. Hence the "dry drunk" syndrome, chronic grouch. I found this helpful. Always felt defective psychologically that i couldn't control anger. But it IS in our metabolism, where psyche has less, or even no, control. My primary tool, when i feel emotions run amuck, is: Detour the hell away!
Watching this so I won’t destroy my neighbor’s car
😂❤
I’m watching so I don’t fuck my shit up
Lol
watching this so i dont break a hole in my desk because of how bad i am at minecraft 😭💀
(also btw, yes, i do infact rage at minecraft. don't hesitate to call me a clown, a man-child, a nerd, and/or etc.)
See you are doing good already. And you're funny....that always helps!
This one's a keeper. I've already listened 5 times.
Not caring is the best way. Hard to not care but, when it comes to people and not my own internal anger, the only way I found to deal with my anger over being betrayed is to not care and borderline hate the people. Now I need help getting rid of the hate. 🙄
Thank you so much for sharing all this wealth of knowledge into improving our daily lives. I appreciate it!
Thank you for your work. It’s a positive contribution to a very lost generation who thinks it’s fashionable to be contrary and adversarial. This generation grew up with a diet of reality shows, trolling, and Tiktoc. These things help contribute to the normalization attitude that fighting and creating drama is normal. This generation is disadvantage. It has an incredibly high rate of homicides and suicides…My generation had an incredibly high rate of incredible music! (70 & 80’s) What the hell is going 😳. Thank you for being a light and for sharing your wisdom🕊
I’ve been struggling with having anger towards people for almost a year now, this video was so freeing. Thank you❤
As a musician nothing ever comes of anger for me which is ironic that i enjoy playing heavy metal. The most creative ideas come with a smile on my face. No problems just solutions can become a way of life, but nothing comes easy if we choose to get in our own way by becoming our own worst enemy..
Nothing good has ever came from me losing my temper. Am reading Seneca on Anger and its brilliant. Amazing descriptions and analogys. How he talks about animals having a semblance of these emotions we have but not feeling them as deeply, and going from showing the most extreme emotions to just going back to grazing or falling a sleep like nothing happened. He is spot on. I read alot on biology. Animals are more Stoic than humans. He calls them dumb beasts lol. But i take it as them just being more Stoic than us. Not many other animals over think like we do. There might be alot of intelligence but not an over active imagination like we have. Wild animals dont feel sorry for themselves or doubt themselves or turn mole hills into mountains like us. They just get on with it and take life as it comes and they live truly in accordance with nature and their own.
As valuable as many of his ideas are, I'm pretty sure humans are personalizing how animals think, based on their similarity to what we perceive as facial expressions and expressions of affection/anger or the lack thereof. They sort of look like us sometimes, and sometimes they don't. It's easy to conclude they feel similar emotions, but not as deeply since they don't always look like that. You also wouldn't know if a wild animal made a mountain out of a molehill, because they'd probably die out of sight of humans. On the other hand, they wouldn't be able to pass on their genes as much as calmer wild animals, so that could be true.
@@verrealive spent my life with animals, I've always had pets. Dogs, but mostly cats, i know they dont sit around worrying and over thinking things like we do. I get close to my animals, i bond with them and like them better than people. Ive also worked in a slaughterhouse, i witness and watch their behaviour since i was a kid, since i was a kid ive been interested in the anatomy aswell. Animals on this planet including us are all connected. We're all the same but different. Animals have different components, we all have different components that give us different abilities. Alot of abilities can look or be the same, they can have a semblance, but theyre different. There is other species that are self aware and self conscious like us, and can ponder their own exsistence. But not them all. We are hard wired to run on instinct like all creatures. But we also have the ability to reign in our instincts, not all creatures have that ability. Alot of animals run soley on instincts and dont even recognise their own reflection, they think its another animal which may be a potential threat or possible mate, their not sure about it and are uncertain. But i know for a fact, animals are more Stoic than us, they are better than us in so many ways.
Theres lots of animals that are like us. But most think and and act on instinct and intuition alone. Like our own brain being split up into 3 categories. The brain stem, the limbic system and the neo cortex. The brain stem is known as the reptilian brain. Its boss. It governs us. It controls flight or fight mode. Smell. Wakefulness and Sleep. Fear and aggression is felt there, it controls appetite and hunger, sexual urges. Breathing and heart rate and blood pressure etc. All the most primal things we need to survive. This part of the brain works well with the mammalian brain, the limbic system. It forms our subconscious. But the reptilian brain can shutdown all other parts of the brain when we are in danger. We run on instincts like a crocodile. We share same base instincts and emotions with a crocodile. Our limbic system is where we feel higher emotions like anger, jealously, love and empathy, compassion etc etc. Thats why as mammals we rear and teach our young, unlike reptiles that lay eggs and fuck off to feed, fight and fuck. Our neo cortex, the cortical brain is the newest formed part of the brain which is todo with thinking ahead, imagination, rational thinking, reasoning ability, reigning in and controlling instincts, urges and impulses etc. Our brain has been likened to an animal menagerie, home to a lizard, horse and human all trying to inhabit the same body. I dont doubt for a second that animals have the ability to think, but they dont over think like we do, they dont sit and think and give themselves anxiety. Wild animals dont do that even more so since they are living truly in accordance with nature and their own. Animals in captivity and pets might show signs of bordem and neglect, but thats because of the environment. Theyve not sat and locked themselves away and thought themselves into a dark deep hole like humans can. Have you seen evidence of a wild animal sitting and thinking its self into a deep depression like a human can. Ive had to pull myself out of dark holes. Am also hyperfantasia. I have internal dialogue, i hear voices and my own, i can see and produce images and video playback in my minds eye, i have an extremly over active imagination. Its a blessing and a curse. I just dont recognise these traits in animals. And i know there is some really intelligent animals that do have the ability to ponder their own exsistence, so that would also mean being able to over think and imagine like us. Birds for example dont have a neo cortex. But scientists have discovered different set up and wiring in birds brains that allow them to be conscious and self aware like us. Its complex. All animals are different, with different components and abilities. Would be impossible to know how deeply they feel or what they think. But we can only go on what we observe and learn. Nature and animals are the best teachers 😎👍
@@verreal have u ever seen a wild animal bite n chew its own feet/nails with a glazed blank stair, obsessivly. And am talking about animals in their natural environment in the wild. Not a caged or trapped animal. I see alot of humans do this lol. You wont see animals feel sorry for themselves like us humans either. You might see a semblance of it when they lick their wounds, or if they are caged and trapped or they have an illness. But animals get on withit and are already focused on what is next in life or whatever nature throws their way. They go with the flow. They get over things and let things go. Cats can show signs of spite and revenge, but they let it go and dont hold a grudge that lasts days or even years. Like Seneca said, i see a semblance of these emotions in animals. But how deeply are they felt, and how much do animals go over thoughts and feelings and ideas in their heads. And do they cause themselves physical and mental health issues because of it.
@@verreal my current cat tries to bury its food and water bowls even though it just ate it all and there is nothing to bury. To me this is my cat following its instincts and intuition. Its not a sign of thinking ahead, fore thought. Because it surly would think...ive eaten all my food, what am i burying, why am i attempting to bury food when i just ate all of it?
Thank you, thank you, thank you Ryan❤
I've been finding work very stressful, to the point that it's affecting my health. I know it's my attitude that has to change, so I'm glad I found this video. I'm going to try to drill "tolerant of others, strict with ourselves" into my mindset.
I’ve said/done some stupid stuff the last couple weeks. Thank you for this video. I will improve.
I've been getting the daily stoic for some time now. It is a valuable means of getting a thought to work with that may reflect on what I went through the previous day or even what is ahead through the following day.
Thanks so much. I was fumed and enraged six hours ago but your compact words changed my view.
How does this not have hundreds of thousands of views already?
Helped me tremendously with an incident today, that's been happening for awhile and I often react to impulsively.
Today however, I deliberately turned my attention elsewhere wlling myself not to waste my energy on sth out if my control, but I could control my reaction to it. Instead of fuming for hours, I'd decompressed much sooner and was happily playing with my cat.
Hope practice makes perfect.
I have struggled for many years with anger, resentments, and unforgiveness. I have been working on it though and it's getting better. I worked with a 12 step sponsor and therapist on it and I had to write down my resents and how they have affected me so I could see the damage. Then I had to write down my part in the resentments. Now obviously in some cases you don't play a part like if you were abused but in conflicts both people play a part. This way you can see the wrongs you did, make amends, change your behaviors, build character, and if appropriate reconcile relationships. It's also important to remember that resentments only hurt you, not them. Personally I like psychology and learning about human behavior and why people act how they do. It's NOT justifying or condoning their actions, it just helps me have more compassion and wish them well. Some people are revenge seekers and obviously it's wrong and there are consequences bur you have to remember they will get there karma and there will be justice. If this motivates them to change and make amends then good.
This is such great advice.
I have been through a very difficult situation and its ongoing over the past 18 months and my friends comment that my fortitude throughout the situation has been remarkable.I'm no way perfect but I have kept in mind and repeat throughout the day the stoic pillars:
Courage
Temperance
Justice
Wisdom
It has helped me way beyond what I thought it would.
Thankyou to the wonderful Stoics.
😊
I just sent this to my granddaughter. She had a problem at school the other day. I did explain these things to her and I believe in repetition. Hopefully it'll sink in.
I’ve had anger problems since I was a kid with multiple of my father figures dying when I was younger. It’s funny to also learn as you get older that you have control over your actions, and that control feels very good in those states. Some of us stay stuck in a state of anger, logic means nothing in the realm of wound up emotion. One action at a time winds you down, and focusing daily on the wind down so you nip anger when it starts. Also delivery packages In high heat weather made me pissed off all the time 😂 so I quit that job
Great video about a very common ailment we all have...Thank you !
The best revenge is to not be like them-I like that one. Great content. I am ready The Daily Stoic for the four time this year. Every single morning.
Thanks. This certainly fits into my daily study. My wife's doctor was 45 minutes late and unprepared for the appointment. We managed our frustrated state and planned future action--find another, more caring cardiologist doctor.
Anger can be an unexamined addiction.
My departed mother spent the majority of her life in anger. Unfortunately that is my dominant memory of her. What a legacy.
While it's true that it's very rarely that losing one's temper is useful, it CAN be at times, and it's hard to balance being passionate and excited with being in control at all times.
Marcus Aurelius talked the talk then walked the walk. His empire was facing war, famine, and disease yet during this time he wrote “meditations” instead of how everything was going down the drain. To answer the question from “Gladiator” he is known as the PHILOSOPHER. His book truly is genius and has helped a man like me ,with a temper ,working in a field that I can’t afford to act on it.
I been loving the emails , and this is the first time I sat down to watch you, LOVE IT ❤
Amazing Advice! Really works!
Like Seneca says. Anger is self destructive. It will see u destroy everything, while destroying yourself. And dragging everything down with us.
Great video, I love stoicism it appeals to my sense of logic. I've saved this video for when I get grumpy to remind myself of core values. Thank you!
Yes, we have to deal with people like that, but they are an overwhelming majority and there are more and more every day.
“Resentment leads to anger,anger leads to hatred,hatred leads to the dark side”.Yes it is a movie quote,but it doesn’t make it any less true or relevant.When you lose your temper,burst into a rage,you lose every time out.I have resentment and anger issues which I deal with every day,but as time has done on,I am learning to deal with that problem through pragmatism.Until you learn how to deal with your anger issues,you cannot have a productive life.I subscribed.✌️
Thank you for posting.
Good stuff. Something I think society needs more then ever as we become more secular.
I really needed this now. Thank you Ryan!
OMG! I'm Norwegian Viking stock and we're stoic by our genes and upbringing.
I'm 69 and Karma and Golden Rule are MY North 🌟!
I don't seek validation, I feel I do the right thing to others and the best for myself most of the time.
Succinct and profound. 👍🙏
I think it's more badass to have a big presence with a huge temper but not letting it go off to physical violence, personal attacks, talking over people, not being accepting of people laughing at you, etc.
Man did I need to hear this today. Really I needed to hear it this morning instead of after the fact!
Much love big man! I listen to your videos on the way to work most mornings. Gets my mind right for the day. Take the lessons in to the environment they are most likely to be exercised daily. Thank Ryan
I'm 23 my worth is basically 0 on paper so people treat me like garbage. It fucks with me deeply! so I'm here.
Thanks for this video Ryan! I just found this channel but have been listening to your podcast ever since the Joe Rogan episode you were on. Happy to support this effort when and how I can. Please keep it up.
I too don’t like people - find it hard to tolerate them. But they “ there “ ... I try so hard but God knows !!
Love your wisdom Ryan. It is slowly transforming my life and everyone around. Thank you.
great food for thought! think first before reacting....
i needed this because im a piece of crap of a son just got mad at my mom for comparing me to my dad who wasn't the best husband lost it and closed the door in her face punched the door and got myself a 5th metacarpal fracture and my mom is obviously mad i feel like crap because i hurt my mom and i also harmed myself i only remind her of my dad and it hurts honestly i dont want to but my anger keeps getting me thanks for making this i need to start changing
Very inspirational
Ye shall not seek revenge, but when the opportunity presents itself, make it sweeter than before.
Be the master of your own kingdom - Guy Ritchey.
I struggle with the “don’t let it get to you” because I cannot balance the concept of that essentially meaning that “they” are “getting away with it” or I’m essentially capitulating to the injustice. This is significantly playing itself out recently for reason most can guess…
Thank you Ryan. That’s it. Thank you.
Music is a great way to relieve anger.
I swear when I get mad at people I so proud of myself gives me the extra push to get my point across and not backdown when someone wants to challenge me even if I don’t articulate myself properly i feel like John cena walking around but that’s just me I guess
Loving this channel more everyday!
Wow how did u know I needed this today . Thank you !❤
I need to practice this a lot! I'm not oerfect I need to repent and take hold on my emotion.
I needed this today!! Thank you! 😊
Best video I have seen in recent times,Hope it will help me.
Fighting demons ,I'm praying to be better ❤
This made me feel better, thank you
I really thank you for this reminder!
Last night I almost punched my little brother because he pushed one too many of my buttons. I felt so bad and guilty, that as soon as I did it, I told my parents about it, then I came here, trying to fix my issues. I’ll watch this, and I’ll hope it works.
Identify family members that rationalize bad behavior and avoid accountability and cut them off 💫🏆❤️
I promise your life will be better 🥇
I keep trying, but they're all I have.
Thank for all of your work!