8 Stoic Strategies For Controlling Your Anger
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- Something may happen today that upsets you. Someone might be rude, your car could break down, an employee might mess something up despite your very careful instructions. Your instinct may be to yell and get angry. It’s natural.
Every situation is made better by a cool head. Even powerful people who know that anger is a powerful and effective tool will tell you that there is a big difference between deliberately expressing your frustrations (to make a point, to motivate someone, to defend yourself) and flying off the handle. Without the ability to recognize and direct your emotions, you become a slave to them.
In this video there are 8 Stoic inspired strategies that can help you keep a cool head today.
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It worked! Last night, my girlfriend started to push my buttons. I thought of this video and I said to myself: "Self ... she's just one of those people." And I reacted calmly. The situation was diffused and ended in 5 minutes. Strict with myself, tolerant of others.
Uh oh ... for about the past week or so, I've been slipping back into my old pattern. Gotta get back into the Stoic groove.
@@BeatlesBowieKrimson how are you now
@@logic7124 in general pretty good. I use the mantras all the time. Last night though, I messed up with my daughter and got angry with her. Not good. I'll make it up to her today. But still ...
Thanks for asking!
If your girlfriend is a narcissist, I suggest you get out of the relationship ASAP - because it only gets worse with time.
@@elizabethd.2398 fortunately, she's not ... she worships me and takes care of me in all kinds of ways ... she just goes insane once in a while ... thanks for the comment, though
It was an epiphany to me to realize that I am addicted to anger. It is something I try to work on every day.
Same here, it's almost as if I enjoy snapping on people and look for reasons to do it.
@@zacharygreene1979 Good luck to you Zachary! I'm starting to get better at catching myself as it starts, and telling myself "don't do it." All the best to you.
I can’t believe it took a random comment on RUclips to help me realize that I am addicted to anger. Crazy how the world works. Thanks for your comment, it’s seriously helping me see myself differently.
“Strict with ourselves. Tolerant of others.” Great mantra!
Humans tend to be more insultingly critical of themselves than others.
@@theroom7469 any example?
@@jzen1455 to some extent but we often find excuses for our bad behavior and we're definitely a lot less tolerant of others than ourselves.
Like everything, if you take that to extremes, it won't be good. That could lead to poor self esteem. Be kind to yourself.
@@sudhanvakashyap297 The mask sign in his bookstore.
I think one of the most important lesson I've learned from the stoics is the feel the emotions not push them down. Go for a walk, work out, breathe, eat , hydrate and repeat. Digest them and take them apart and let thier power over you fade. Literally changed my life and be a better person.
I've spent much of my life trying to suppress all "bad" emotions while chasing "good" ones. This has led to addictions, running the hedonic treadmill with an un-scratchable itch, and lots of resentment. I've become more accepting of bad emotions and recognize it's just part of the human condition. Emotions are there to tell us something and guide us.
@@jzen1455
Yes 👍
Yes exactly as the quote: Stoicism, in our day, is not strength to overcome wishes, but to hide them."-Rollo May, 'Love and Will.'
Keep on growing 💗
This sounds great, thanks!
Nearly every time I have gotten angry and acted on it, the results have been bad to terrible. Controlling my anger has been a lifelong struggle, and I can say that remaining calm when the alternative is to explode in anger, is indeed empowering.
I'm in the same camp as you. Anger never makes the situation better. Not an easy lesson to learn.
I love that word, Empowering!
Tough lesson to learn. Me too. Lifelong battle with me. Depression too.
It feels humiliating to me and i don't know how to change it.
@trashman1605, same here
1. Stop reacting 1:08
2. Don't take it personally 2:11
3. Focus on your actions 2:56
4. It can make you better 3:44
5. Don't let it get to you 4:44
6. Don't seek revenge 5:18
7. Don't betray your standards 5:50
8. You control how you respond 6:44
Appreciate your Attention ☘️
Thank you
Reading all this made me angry. Just kidding. Great job. I think making jokes or saying something funny in a tense times helps.
THANKS FOR THE STAMPS.
Thank you so much for posting each of these strategies along with the timeline for each one!
"I have never once been proud of my self for loosing my temper"
so sigma broo
I think when I lose my temper it’s when I’m criticizing myself and disappointed, comes out as anger toward someone else but is really about me
This is my #1 fault that I struggle with every day. Thank you for this video.
Me too
We all in this together man
"The Best Revenge Is Not Being Like Them" ... I will never forget this
Thanks, I needed this today. A partner made a mistake that I had to even out, and it's just dumb luck that it didn't put me in financial jeopardy, and to make matters worse, he is completely oblivious to the gravity of the situation. The thing is, I need him a lot more than he needs me, and I was able to fix the situation without losing a ton of money I don't have. So this is me, calming myself the fuck down.
Thank you. Long ago, I used to stick to Stoicism, and my life was in control. Now, I am making a comeback into control. *I am glad I found you. I am subscribing, today.*
I think one of the best ways I've learned to deal with negative emotion is through the game of golf. The game is literally about navigating obstacles and adversity. I've learned that just because something angers or annoys me, that doesn't give me a license to act out. Emotions cloud our judgement that's why road rage is such a thing because we lose the ability to momentarily think critically. Not in any way saying I'm immune to frustration but through experience I'm able to suppress it better, especially for petty stuff. One question that has helped me when I'm in the moment is, "will I even remember this a week from now?" Overwhelmingly the answer has been no.
The thing I wish the most is to be able to control my temper. I've been diagnosed with Borderline Disorder and I swear, it's hell. It brings me down more and more.
Like Seneca says. Anger is self destructive. It will see u destroy everything, while destroying yourself. And dragging everything down with us.
I really need this. I am bipolar and REALLY need to get my anger under control. It seems to come from nowhere sometimes.
This is me. If I had had the tools available today when I was younger, I'd be a different person today. Thank you for this.
I need to listen to this OVER AND OVER and over again!!!
“Im mostly a normal human being”. What’s a normal human being?
I’ve also never found myself in the best light during periods of anger. Cheers brother ❤
Also… this is the content humans are most thirsty for. Whether we know it or not.
Thank you for all the work Ryan.
it is most appreciated.
Magnificent philosophy. I have found it very helpful indeed in life. I was naturally very easy to anger and offend. I hated that and wanted to change. Now thanks to stoicism I only get affected by about 10% of what used to bother me. If something bad happens on the news I just say it doesn't matter I can't help them in any way so I immediately forget what happened and focus on improving myself and being happy with my situation. If I could help them I would. A stoic only needs to consider what one can achieve.
This was awesome, great video! When I work these principles, it works and I am more at peace, which is what matters the most. Happiness is great, but nothing beats real, sincere peace.
I had anger problem in the past, really it was something higher than my control… but then freedom came🕊
How? Some people, Christian people, laid the hands on me and prayed for deliverance and I got completely set free🙌🏼❤️ I experienced true freedom that I never had before
Nice. Check out Jesse Lee Peterson.
Great video about a very common ailment we all have...Thank you !
Phew! Really needed to hear that this morning.
I know a bit of topic, but his eyes are SO beautiful.. eh Wow...✨
Much love big man! I listen to your videos on the way to work most mornings. Gets my mind right for the day. Take the lessons in to the environment they are most likely to be exercised daily. Thank Ryan
I’ve been struggling with having anger towards people for almost a year now, this video was so freeing. Thank you❤
I’m great at controlling my temper, my issue is not being spiteful when I’m channeling my anger.
Thanks for this video Ryan! I just found this channel but have been listening to your podcast ever since the Joe Rogan episode you were on. Happy to support this effort when and how I can. Please keep it up.
Love Ryan's emails, it's how I start my day.
❤
Thank you Ryan, God bless you for all you are doing for us, trying to make all of us think and then do better.
Thank you for posting.
Been working on my anger problem lately, this stuff helps.
I’ve recently started listening to your videos whilst I workout.
It’s been an absolute game changer for me. Thank you!
💚
Thank you, thank you, thank you Ryan❤
I’ve had anger problems since I was a kid with multiple of my father figures dying when I was younger. It’s funny to also learn as you get older that you have control over your actions, and that control feels very good in those states. Some of us stay stuck in a state of anger, logic means nothing in the realm of wound up emotion. One action at a time winds you down, and focusing daily on the wind down so you nip anger when it starts. Also delivery packages In high heat weather made me pissed off all the time 😂 so I quit that job
Thank for all of your work!
I been loving the emails , and this is the first time I sat down to watch you, LOVE IT ❤
Man did I need to hear this today. Really I needed to hear it this morning instead of after the fact!
So so helpful! I found, w/luck, great help in therapy and self-help (AA) and your message is utterly consistent, thank you. My acupuncturist blew my mind: in TCM (traditional Chinese medicine) they call the liver "harmonizer of emotions". Kinda no-brainer, liver's job is to purify the blood. If liver function is impaired, impurities flow through our system, affecting everything including mood. As recovering alcoholic i certainly remember how grouchy one gets hungover. Paradoxically, abstaining from booze, great life saving choice, yet liver function remains impaired for quite a while. Hence the "dry drunk" syndrome, chronic grouch. I found this helpful. Always felt defective psychologically that i couldn't control anger. But it IS in our metabolism, where psyche has less, or even no, control. My primary tool, when i feel emotions run amuck, is: Detour the hell away!
Thank you so much for sharing all this wealth of knowledge into improving our daily lives. I appreciate it!
Love your wisdom Ryan. It is slowly transforming my life and everyone around. Thank you.
Great video, I love stoicism it appeals to my sense of logic. I've saved this video for when I get grumpy to remind myself of core values. Thank you!
I've been getting the daily stoic for some time now. It is a valuable means of getting a thought to work with that may reflect on what I went through the previous day or even what is ahead through the following day.
I really thank you for this reminder!
Wow how did u know I needed this today . Thank you !❤
Amazing Advice! Really works!
I needed this today!! Thank you! 😊
Great content. Love your books. Keep it coming please. 👏🏼👍🏼🤙🏼
Great video! Thank you!
Thank you for your work. It’s a positive contribution to a very lost generation who thinks it’s fashionable to be contrary and adversarial. This generation grew up with a diet of reality shows, trolling, and Tiktoc. These things help contribute to the normalization attitude that fighting and creating drama is normal. This generation is disadvantage. It has an incredibly high rate of homicides and suicides…My generation had an incredibly high rate of incredible music! (70 & 80’s) What the hell is going 😳. Thank you for being a light and for sharing your wisdom🕊
Young man, you are truly educating. I have some of your books and I have read more than once gratitude is all I can say.
Thank you Ryan for this. I needed to hear this wisdom ❤
This one's a keeper. I've already listened 5 times.
Loving this channel more everyday!
Helped me tremendously with an incident today, that's been happening for awhile and I often react to impulsively.
Today however, I deliberately turned my attention elsewhere wlling myself not to waste my energy on sth out if my control, but I could control my reaction to it. Instead of fuming for hours, I'd decompressed much sooner and was happily playing with my cat.
Hope practice makes perfect.
I just sent this to my granddaughter. She had a problem at school the other day. I did explain these things to her and I believe in repetition. Hopefully it'll sink in.
Anger does not always make things worse.
Righteous anger is a thing.
I agree with you point anger used in this manner can change the world. However, the video I think is about controlling anger and not reacting in a manner that is negative to oneself. What makes the anger righteous in what I ascribe to your thought is that righteous anger is best served in a controlled manner. Released with calculation. The anger is justifiably felt yet still controlled long enough to keep one motivated until justice has been done. The anger resolved is not for only personal gain or satisfaction but also for a greater good. Like you said, Righteous anger is a thing.
This is such great advice.
I have been through a very difficult situation and its ongoing over the past 18 months and my friends comment that my fortitude throughout the situation has been remarkable.I'm no way perfect but I have kept in mind and repeat throughout the day the stoic pillars:
Courage
Temperance
Justice
Wisdom
It has helped me way beyond what I thought it would.
Thankyou to the wonderful Stoics.
😊
Thanks dude…. My Anger issues is something I’m working on…
Best video I have seen in recent times,Hope it will help me.
Thanks. This certainly fits into my daily study. My wife's doctor was 45 minutes late and unprepared for the appointment. We managed our frustrated state and planned future action--find another, more caring cardiologist doctor.
Thank you Ryan. That’s it. Thank you.
I needed that. Thanks 🙏
This made me feel better, thank you
Great stuff, thanks
Tysm for this
This is helpful thank you
Very wise, great books
Love this video
Your channel helps me so much, thank you 🙏🏼
I really needed this now. Thank you Ryan!
As a musician nothing ever comes of anger for me which is ironic that i enjoy playing heavy metal. The most creative ideas come with a smile on my face. No problems just solutions can become a way of life, but nothing comes easy if we choose to get in our own way by becoming our own worst enemy..
Good job Ryan!
Thank you Ryan
How does this not have hundreds of thousands of views already?
The best revenge is to not be like them-I like that one. Great content. I am ready The Daily Stoic for the four time this year. Every single morning.
Nothing good has ever came from me losing my temper. Am reading Seneca on Anger and its brilliant. Amazing descriptions and analogys. How he talks about animals having a semblance of these emotions we have but not feeling them as deeply, and going from showing the most extreme emotions to just going back to grazing or falling a sleep like nothing happened. He is spot on. I read alot on biology. Animals are more Stoic than humans. He calls them dumb beasts lol. But i take it as them just being more Stoic than us. Not many other animals over think like we do. There might be alot of intelligence but not an over active imagination like we have. Wild animals dont feel sorry for themselves or doubt themselves or turn mole hills into mountains like us. They just get on with it and take life as it comes and they live truly in accordance with nature and their own.
As valuable as many of his ideas are, I'm pretty sure humans are personalizing how animals think, based on their similarity to what we perceive as facial expressions and expressions of affection/anger or the lack thereof. They sort of look like us sometimes, and sometimes they don't. It's easy to conclude they feel similar emotions, but not as deeply since they don't always look like that. You also wouldn't know if a wild animal made a mountain out of a molehill, because they'd probably die out of sight of humans. On the other hand, they wouldn't be able to pass on their genes as much as calmer wild animals, so that could be true.
@@verrealive spent my life with animals, I've always had pets. Dogs, but mostly cats, i know they dont sit around worrying and over thinking things like we do. I get close to my animals, i bond with them and like them better than people. Ive also worked in a slaughterhouse, i witness and watch their behaviour since i was a kid, since i was a kid ive been interested in the anatomy aswell. Animals on this planet including us are all connected. We're all the same but different. Animals have different components, we all have different components that give us different abilities. Alot of abilities can look or be the same, they can have a semblance, but theyre different. There is other species that are self aware and self conscious like us, and can ponder their own exsistence. But not them all. We are hard wired to run on instinct like all creatures. But we also have the ability to reign in our instincts, not all creatures have that ability. Alot of animals run soley on instincts and dont even recognise their own reflection, they think its another animal which may be a potential threat or possible mate, their not sure about it and are uncertain. But i know for a fact, animals are more Stoic than us, they are better than us in so many ways.
Theres lots of animals that are like us. But most think and and act on instinct and intuition alone. Like our own brain being split up into 3 categories. The brain stem, the limbic system and the neo cortex. The brain stem is known as the reptilian brain. Its boss. It governs us. It controls flight or fight mode. Smell. Wakefulness and Sleep. Fear and aggression is felt there, it controls appetite and hunger, sexual urges. Breathing and heart rate and blood pressure etc. All the most primal things we need to survive. This part of the brain works well with the mammalian brain, the limbic system. It forms our subconscious. But the reptilian brain can shutdown all other parts of the brain when we are in danger. We run on instincts like a crocodile. We share same base instincts and emotions with a crocodile. Our limbic system is where we feel higher emotions like anger, jealously, love and empathy, compassion etc etc. Thats why as mammals we rear and teach our young, unlike reptiles that lay eggs and fuck off to feed, fight and fuck. Our neo cortex, the cortical brain is the newest formed part of the brain which is todo with thinking ahead, imagination, rational thinking, reasoning ability, reigning in and controlling instincts, urges and impulses etc. Our brain has been likened to an animal menagerie, home to a lizard, horse and human all trying to inhabit the same body. I dont doubt for a second that animals have the ability to think, but they dont over think like we do, they dont sit and think and give themselves anxiety. Wild animals dont do that even more so since they are living truly in accordance with nature and their own. Animals in captivity and pets might show signs of bordem and neglect, but thats because of the environment. Theyve not sat and locked themselves away and thought themselves into a dark deep hole like humans can. Have you seen evidence of a wild animal sitting and thinking its self into a deep depression like a human can. Ive had to pull myself out of dark holes. Am also hyperfantasia. I have internal dialogue, i hear voices and my own, i can see and produce images and video playback in my minds eye, i have an extremly over active imagination. Its a blessing and a curse. I just dont recognise these traits in animals. And i know there is some really intelligent animals that do have the ability to ponder their own exsistence, so that would also mean being able to over think and imagine like us. Birds for example dont have a neo cortex. But scientists have discovered different set up and wiring in birds brains that allow them to be conscious and self aware like us. Its complex. All animals are different, with different components and abilities. Would be impossible to know how deeply they feel or what they think. But we can only go on what we observe and learn. Nature and animals are the best teachers 😎👍
@@verreal have u ever seen a wild animal bite n chew its own feet/nails with a glazed blank stair, obsessivly. And am talking about animals in their natural environment in the wild. Not a caged or trapped animal. I see alot of humans do this lol. You wont see animals feel sorry for themselves like us humans either. You might see a semblance of it when they lick their wounds, or if they are caged and trapped or they have an illness. But animals get on withit and are already focused on what is next in life or whatever nature throws their way. They go with the flow. They get over things and let things go. Cats can show signs of spite and revenge, but they let it go and dont hold a grudge that lasts days or even years. Like Seneca said, i see a semblance of these emotions in animals. But how deeply are they felt, and how much do animals go over thoughts and feelings and ideas in their heads. And do they cause themselves physical and mental health issues because of it.
@@verreal my current cat tries to bury its food and water bowls even though it just ate it all and there is nothing to bury. To me this is my cat following its instincts and intuition. Its not a sign of thinking ahead, fore thought. Because it surly would think...ive eaten all my food, what am i burying, why am i attempting to bury food when i just ate all of it?
Great video!!! I have to read your books!!!
Great video
Thank you!
So inspiring.
Marcus Aurelius: "Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense."
Thank you ❤
Thank You
Well done
Good stuff. Something I think society needs more then ever as we become more secular.
Watching this so I won’t destroy my neighbor’s car
😂❤
I’m watching so I don’t fuck my shit up
Watching this so I don't quit my job 😂
Yes, we have to deal with people like that, but they are an overwhelming majority and there are more and more every day.
Not caring is the best way. Hard to not care but, when it comes to people and not my own internal anger, the only way I found to deal with my anger over being betrayed is to not care and borderline hate the people. Now I need help getting rid of the hate. 🙄
Love it ❤ bro
While it's true that it's very rarely that losing one's temper is useful, it CAN be at times, and it's hard to balance being passionate and excited with being in control at all times.
I'm trying to come off a pretty bad fentanyl habit that I've caused myself.
Wish me luck.
I can't do this to myself anymore.
I want to start the New Year WITHOUT this BULLSHIT issue that's hurting me.
I want to get back to the gym.
Back to bench pressing 365lbs.
Back to looking great & feeling great.
I wish you luck! I encourage you to reach out for any and all help in your community. NA/AA members have tremendous recovery resources… attend today and accept & treasure your 1st day coin! Commit to 90 meetings in 90 days… see results fast!
✌️
I wish you the very best of luck. Life if discipline better than a life of regret.
In Jesus name you will be deluvered from evil addictions. Just ask Him.
Well if you're following this, I did it. Last April.
I've come off opiates before, but nothing was as bad as coming off of this.
It turns out it was fentanyl mixed with heroin mixed with xylazine tranquilizer.
I tried to kick it myself & that went HORRIBLY wrong. I was projectile vomiting every hour. It was so hard that I was losing my breath & almost passing out from the force. I broke blood vessels in both of my eyes from how hard it was.
I got scared & tapped out & used.
The next weekend I checked into a rehab. The bill was $2,500. I could've used for another month & almost did just that....
It was living hell going through that. I lost 30 pounds in 5 days from not eating. It was the worst of any time I've ever quit.
Fast forward to today & this next week on Monday I'm starting a new job & if it works out, I'll be making $90,000 a year with opportunity for advancement. I can't believe it.
Thank you all for the help & encouragement.
I'm a bit emotional to be honest right now.
3 people who I knew really well died during the time I used from the EXACT same bags from my dealer...
My habit when I quit I was using 2 bags every 2 hours or I would be deathly sick. I didn't even get high anymore.
I could do 10 bags at 1 time.
Those who I knew who died overdosed all died from just 1 bag. THAT'S how high my tolerance was. 10 times what killed other users.
I was spending anywhere from $1,600-$2,500 a month on it.
God I wish I had that money back.
The guy who I used to use with I heard is now dealing it himself. I don't talk to him anymore nor do I want to.
I know they say don't speak in terms of "never again" but I'll NEVER do that to myself again. Paying my last $2,500 to rehab hurt so bad.
I hope if any of you are touched by this plague that they see their way through it.
You still going?
great video
My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with my best friend of 4 years. She was who I went to and told everything to and he was everything to me, I still can't believe either of them did this.
I've been turning to the ideals of stoicism to deal with it. I don't even know how I came across the videos bc its only been a week since I found out. I was definitely searching how to deal with pain and hurt and thoughts of revenge. Somehow i found yours and others videos and it has been very helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed with all the different emotions. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not at fault and that they did not care about me. They both told me they loved me while messing around behind my back. How do you get over that and let it pass by. It's so difficult, but I'm trying. I want to be the better person and move on. I want my revenge to be not caring and focusing more on myself rather than friends or family. I probably should get therapy, but that's also scary bc then I have to think about it.
I work in customer service. Every day I tell myself this will be a good day. I'm not going to let it get to me. That build up never gets me passed the first Karen. "STFU you dumb botch and listen to what I'm telling you."
😆
I too don’t like people - find it hard to tolerate them. But they “ there “ ... I try so hard but God knows !!
I'm 23 my worth is basically 0 on paper so people treat me like garbage. It fucks with me deeply! so I'm here.
Seeing the "Masks required" sign on the door is a perfect example of. “We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” - Seneca
i needed this because im a piece of crap of a son just got mad at my mom for comparing me to my dad who wasn't the best husband lost it and closed the door in her face punched the door and got myself a 5th metacarpal fracture and my mom is obviously mad i feel like crap because i hurt my mom and i also harmed myself i only remind her of my dad and it hurts honestly i dont want to but my anger keeps getting me thanks for making this i need to start changing