I made this silly mnemonic to help with memory aids. Imagine a BOW-en arrow. Hopefully, this tip can help you with recall. 1) When you shoot with a bow and arrow, and miss the target=Triangle (visualize this instead of a circle) you become emotional. 2) Each arrow is unique=differentiated self. 3) the whole bag of arrows=nuclear fam system 4) you project where it will land=fam projective process. 5) how good your dad's dad's dad was at aiming will determine your multi-generational transmission process. 6) if you run out of arrows, you will be cut off and more emotional. 7) You compete based on sibling order. 8) and society's emotional process will determine if you got a bulls-eye! Furthermore, BOW-en-IAN therapists assume the role of COACH. To drive it deeper, (pun intended) You are an 'exTENSION' of your family's 'PROJECTION' process, it refers to the TRANSMISSION of emotional immaturity from one generation to the next. } ---->
Wow, thanks for this information! I am currently a nursing student which is working on a thesis related to family relationships. This helped a lot as i am considering this theory in my theoretical framework. Thank you so much and more power to your channel!
Wow, I’m so glad to have come across this info. Non of my therapist have discussed this with me before so it’s very exciting. I wonder if Americans could use some of this info to help resolve the division in our country. Certainly I can see many of these dynamics at play in the push and pull between the left and the right.
Hi Andy! I find that psychoeducation clarifies a lot internal confusion and self-blame. The U.S. division sad and draining but more easily understood under the psychology microscope. This can help to take things "less personal" although we are not always in such a rational mindset haha! Take care and thanks for the comment :) - Ghesline
@@therapywithghesline I agree that this is excellent info! I had hoped to use this with my class, however, I won't show anything with typos as it reduces the professionality. If you are able to correct the typos, I will use this video! Thanks.
Ahh! I do hope this was helpful. I remember not wanting to work with families in practicum but of course found it super rewarding! That is how the cookie crumbles yes? haha! Best of luck with your studies and sorry for the late reply! Thank you for the comment :)
@@websurfer5772 well not paranormal energy as in ghosts but as in emotional vibrational energy emitting from person to person contained in a room or house
I'm glad it's helpful! Yeah, this theory is a bit complicated and I have to rewatch it myself to remember some of the details haha! Glad it's sparking your curiosity! Thank you for the comment.
This was really helpful considering I have to analyze a family questionnaire and write 15 pages on my analysis. I felt like I was running out of things to say but now I know other things I can talk about. Thank you for this.
Hi Kaiya!! I’m really glad it was helpful! It sounds like you are in a graduate school for psychology or counseling? 15 pages of analysis sounds... extensive haha!
@@therapywithgheslineI'm a undergraduate psychology major and I had to write it for my senior level family systems class. I have to do the same thing with another family's questionnaire answers so I'll probably be watching it again to help me get some ideas
Thank you for bringing this up! Yes, it is hard to cover a lot in a short amount of time. If you happen to make a re-do of this content I'd love to share it with my subscribers!
@@therapywithghesline Do you mind if I show/reference this as part of a power point I am preparing for class? I will give you credit and will point others to this after I explain what I learned from my study of the theory.
@@cj3565 Go for it. I'm glad it was helpful. I also believe I have the references I used in the description. Good Luck on your assignment! It is nice to hear from you.
Ghesline Hewitt I’ve mentioned the references, and funny enough, was using one before I rewatched your video. I’m just going to tell my class that watching your video is an excellent review of the theory. I’ve rewatched it several times.
Also, I'm not really on Facebook that much. I think you sent a friend request? I'm not ignoring you - I just avoid FB when I can as it can be a toxic place for me. Thank you for the interest though :)
I have one of his most popular books and I didn't know some of this. Being creative is one thing but it's useless if it can't be communicated. thanks for the vid!
Hey! Thanks for the insightful comment. I suppose the success of this video can be attributed to just that - the difference between knowledge and understanding. Thank you for the interest!
I don't think they are inherently unhealthy because they are a natural phenomenon. For example, I think it is ok to vent to one person in the triangle about another as long as it produces more help than harm. The triangle is a place to look when sniffing out unhealthy relational patterns. I hope this is helpful and thanks for the comment!
Aloha! Thank you for the question :) Some examples of accommodations: always doing what the other person wants to do (attending events, eating at certain places, etc.), making choices based on the preferences of the other person and not your own, living in accordance with what makes the other person content without taking your own interests into consideration. Of course, there are varying degrees to this kind of behavior and sometimes are healthy ways of behaving in a family dynamic. It is when things are imbalanced or extreme that things can become toxic. I suppose the measurement of this is subjective so if you're wondering about how this might affect your own life, I suggest tracking your interactions and assessing how much of your choices are based on your preferences versus those of others. Ask yourself: is it easier to simply do what the other person wants rather than advocate for yourself? Do you avoid doing what you want in favor of others simply to avoid conflict? I also think it's important to realize that accommodating might look different from person to person. Please let me know what you think and if you have any additional questions :)
So if I have understood correctly, you have to get your parents to engage in the therapy too? If you are the scapegoat though, they make you 100% responsible for the dynamic between you and them, even if you have the awareness to be in the ongoing process of hopefully differentiating. I am only 50% responsible for dynamic. I've been continuing in the role of scapegoat (reacting emotionally to their labelling of me) but I could never persuade them to go for therapy because the problem is ME! so I'm just wondering how often this therapy is given to a complete family unit.
Hi Susan, great question! Family systems theory is one modality for engaging in therapy. I understand that some family dynamics aren't suited for this. I too am sometimes pessimistic about parents who think it is the child who is the "problem." At the same time - it is helpful to try because there can be a lot of healing found in family systems therapy. There are plenty of other options for therapy even if the parents don't want to attend. I imagine it could be helpful to learn healthy and effective coping strategies for dealing with dysfunctional parents such as CBT, narrative reframing, DBT (distress tolerance and emotional regulation etc.). Hope this is helpful and thanks for the comment!
Hi Susan, I'm glad to hear you are finding ways to help you move forward. You can always write a letter and not send it. Sometimes it helps to get your thoughts down, but I'm sure your therapist has a good handle on things. I facilitate a DBT group where we teaching distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness and a couple other really great topics. Maybe participating in a DBT skills group is something you would enjoy. It sounds like you are on the right track regardless! Keep up the good work!
Yes - setting boundaries is also helpful because some of us are more emotionally reactive/sensitive and have trouble not reacting. And learning to tolerate distressing emotions is also key for those moments we can't control. Best of luck on your journey Susan!
@@therapywithghesline I’m studying Bowen to heal. I want to do my dissertation on Bowen Family Systems and the attachment based model of Parental alienation. Have you ever looked into the concept? Gardner came up with “Parental Alienation Syndrome.” He didn’t base the Syndrome in any established Psychological, or Physiological theory so it was dismissed as junk science. Also thank you for your video you have helped me a lot!
Hi Karendal! I'm happy to hear you found this video helpful in you healing journey. Congrats on moving into higher education and studying a concept close to your heart! PAS seems very interesting, although I have not heard of it. I'm not completely surprised to hear a concept being dismissed in psychology - it can be a "boys club" sometimes, although I'd like to think it is getting better. I have to run but I will think about your comment and add a reply if I have anything substantial and worth sharing. Take care and thank you for the comment!
Funny you should ask! I was recording in 10-second increments using my apple headphones to control to record function. You're hearing me tap the stop recording button :)
I'll try to fit that in next time I make a video like this. It would make the video longer for sure. I wonder if people would mind a longer video? Thanks for the feedback! Have a lovely rest of your week and thanks for the comment :)
I see the point of this video and understand the material, but it sounds like you just wanted to over complicate the material for the sake of doing so.
Oh no!! Yeah - this presentation is really designed for people who are studying to become counselors. I know it feels a bit rushed - at the time when I was going to present this to a live audience, I had a time constraint. But hey - thanks for watching it even though it wasn't quite up your alley!
Ghesline Hewitt no i need to “study/ understand “ this cuz my psychiatrist “forced 😅 me to. My fam is a mess!!! And i am 😤😪 in a deep deep hole for a decade. So we trying to fix things up 🙄 how fun 🤠
You sound resourceful! I can relate to being in “hole.” It’s a constant battle and sometimes it feels like you’ve climbed so far only for a landslide to bring you back to the start again. I’m sorry you are suffering and sending some well wishes your direction 💜
I made this silly mnemonic to help with memory aids. Imagine a BOW-en arrow. Hopefully, this tip can help you with recall.
1) When you shoot with a bow and arrow, and miss the target=Triangle (visualize this instead of a circle) you become emotional.
2) Each arrow is unique=differentiated self.
3) the whole bag of arrows=nuclear fam system
4) you project where it will land=fam projective process.
5) how good your dad's dad's dad was at aiming will determine your multi-generational transmission process.
6) if you run out of arrows, you will be cut off and more emotional.
7) You compete based on sibling order.
8) and society's emotional process will determine if you got a bulls-eye!
Furthermore, BOW-en-IAN therapists assume the role of COACH. To drive it deeper, (pun intended) You are an 'exTENSION' of your family's 'PROJECTION' process, it refers to the TRANSMISSION of emotional immaturity from one generation to the next.
} ---->
thank you - you have done quite a bit of study to come up with this good example - I will take your pointers - Blessings, Mandy
This is a brilliant metaphor! Thank you for sharing.
Not silly at all. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this!! It has helped me remember this theory better!
This has made me understand the Bowenian theory well.Thank you Ghesline
And that's how you do it.
Fantastic break down. I has having some difficulty with Bowens theory and you made it much simpler to comprehend! Thank you
Glad to be of assistance! Please let me know if you have questions and thank you for the comment :)
Bowen theory 8 concepts 2:04
Emotional triangle- 2:23
Differentiation of self - 3:23
Nuclear family systems- 4:04
Family projective process - 4:29
Multi - Generational transmission process - 5:09
Emotional cut off- 5:47
Sibling position- 6:18
Societal emotional process : 6:32
Wow, thanks for this information! I am currently a nursing student which is working on a thesis related to family relationships. This helped a lot as i am considering this theory in my theoretical framework. Thank you so much and more power to your channel!
ohhh I hope your thesis goes well and good for you for not shying away from a challenging profession. Thank you for the support!
Wow, I’m so glad to have come across this info. Non of my therapist have discussed this with me before so it’s very exciting. I wonder if Americans could use some of this info to help resolve the division in our country. Certainly I can see many of these dynamics at play in the push and pull between the left and the right.
Hi Andy! I find that psychoeducation clarifies a lot internal confusion and self-blame. The U.S. division sad and draining but more easily understood under the psychology microscope. This can help to take things "less personal" although we are not always in such a rational mindset haha! Take care and thanks for the comment :) - Ghesline
The video captures the important constructs of Bowenian's family systems theory
Thank you Meriam! It is really nice to get positive comments like this!
Absolutely excellent. A few typos but content is awesome and easy to understand. Keep making these
Glad you like them!
@@therapywithghesline I agree that this is excellent info! I had hoped to use this with my class, however, I won't show anything with typos as it reduces the professionality. If you are able to correct the typos, I will use this video! Thanks.
Thank you for this video Ghesline, I am getting a bit of a head start on my couples and families Counselling unit that commences in a week's time!
Ahh! I do hope this was helpful. I remember not wanting to work with families in practicum but of course found it super rewarding! That is how the cookie crumbles yes? haha! Best of luck with your studies and sorry for the late reply! Thank you for the comment :)
Excellent overview before jumping into the book that started out with 2 some, 3 some, triangles.
Thank you for this. My therapist uses this modality, so I wanted to look into it, and I really appreciate the explanation and animations. 💚
Happy to hear how this helps! This kind of feedback helps me to know that I’m hitting the mark with my intention. Thank you for the comment 🙏🙏
This was very helpful for the class I'm taking now. Thank you!
Thanks for summarizing it.
My pleasure! Glad you found it useful! Thanks for the comment :)
This is my family, we always thought that these intense characteristics among us were due to the energy of our home.
That's interesting! What do you mean energy of the home? Sorry for the late reply! Thank you for the comment!
@@therapywithghesline I am curious as well of the usage of the term energy..
Energy... maybe environmental atmosphere
Like paranormal energy?
@@websurfer5772 well not paranormal energy as in ghosts but as in emotional vibrational energy emitting from person to person contained in a room or house
hecks yes! MSW student up in this beyatch! thanks for sharing, cuhhh.
Helpful video! Please note misspelling at minute 7:33. The word should be "affairs," not affiars.
Thank you! Yes, spelling is not my strong suit haha
Great break down. Very informative. Thank you!
Great information! Affairs misspelled at 1:45
Thanks Tony! When I post my latest video feel free to spellcheck for me! It's clearly not my strength.
really helpful summary, thank u !
My pleasure! I'm glad I could be of help.
Thank you for this introduction.
My pleasure! Happy to clarify
Wonderful explanation 👏
yay!! Glad you liked it!
Really enjoyed this video. Made it easy to understand.
I appreciate the video. I stumbled upon it...lots of questions are forming.
I'm glad it's helpful! Yeah, this theory is a bit complicated and I have to rewatch it myself to remember some of the details haha! Glad it's sparking your curiosity! Thank you for the comment.
This is way better than my textbook, thank you. :)
Phenomenal! Thank you!
Glad you like!
Great video!
Thank you! Glad to be of service :)
This was really helpful considering I have to analyze a family questionnaire and write 15 pages on my analysis. I felt like I was running out of things to say but now I know other things I can talk about. Thank you for this.
Hi Kaiya!! I’m really glad it was helpful! It sounds like you are in a graduate school for psychology or counseling? 15 pages of analysis sounds... extensive haha!
@@therapywithgheslineI'm a undergraduate psychology major and I had to write it for my senior level family systems class. I have to do the same thing with another family's questionnaire answers so I'll probably be watching it again to help me get some ideas
My God, this is gold
Ghesline - this is excellent! Great work! :-)
Thank you Prof. Ausloos!!
very good but quite fast in explaining the process. I view the video several times
Yes - it can be hard to balance the timing with the amount of info. Thanks for the suggestion!
This was very helpful
Happy you enjoyed it!
You just helped me so much
This was helpful but I noticed the failure to discuss Genograms which is an important intervention of Bowen Therapy
Thank you for bringing this up! Yes, it is hard to cover a lot in a short amount of time. If you happen to make a re-do of this content I'd love to share it with my subscribers!
Thank you for this video. It was very helpful to me.
I'm happy to hear this was helpful! If you have any requests I'd be glad to cover another topic you are interested in. Thanks for the comment!
@@therapywithghesline Do you mind if I show/reference this as part of a power point I am preparing for class? I will give you credit and will point others to this after I explain what I learned from my study of the theory.
@@cj3565 Go for it. I'm glad it was helpful. I also believe I have the references I used in the description. Good Luck on your assignment! It is nice to hear from you.
Ghesline Hewitt I’ve mentioned the references, and funny enough, was using one before I rewatched your video. I’m just going to tell my class that watching your video is an excellent review of the theory. I’ve rewatched it several times.
@@cj3565 OMG I so flattered! Thanks Crys
Does bowenian theory completely discourage no-contact relationships?
Good work
Nisha! Thank you for the kind comment! Little things like this really make my day. Glad you like the video!
Thank you fro your sharing.
Thank sfor the video, really helped with my case study.
I'm so glad!! Keep up the good work :)
Hay quá
Thank you very articulate.
Thank you kindly!
I use this as part of my homework and there's a part in here that my Professor said was same in here.
That's excellent! I'm glad to be helpful
Also, I'm not really on Facebook that much. I think you sent a friend request? I'm not ignoring you - I just avoid FB when I can as it can be a toxic place for me. Thank you for the interest though :)
@@therapywithghesline sad to hear that but still thank you for accepting me in Facebook...
What modality does the therapist use when the client has no emotional connection to their family?
Excellent ☀️🙏😀
Thank you 🙌
I have one of his most popular books and I didn't know some of this. Being creative is one thing but it's useless if it can't be communicated. thanks for the vid!
Hey! Thanks for the insightful comment. I suppose the success of this video can be attributed to just that - the difference between knowledge and understanding. Thank you for the interest!
Thanks. It helped me❤
The Bowen Family Systems Theory is an example of an axiom or self-evident truth.
Does anyone know who the narrator is for this video? I really enjoy her voice!
It’s me!! Nice to meet you 🙏🥸 this is such an awesome comment to wake up to! Let me know what kind of content you want and I’m happy to record 😅
This is me. The rest of the family are not as bad. But they are the passive agressive type and gas light me. What can I do?
Very well done.
Thank you kindly!
I love this I'm Isaac Bowen
Glad you liked it!!
Hi! Great video. Could you do something on schema therapy?
Absolutely! Thank you for the comment and thank you for the request. I will let you know as it is up :)
Interesting triangles were usually thought of as unhealthy.
I don't think they are inherently unhealthy because they are a natural phenomenon. For example, I think it is ok to vent to one person in the triangle about another as long as it produces more help than harm. The triangle is a place to look when sniffing out unhealthy relational patterns. I hope this is helpful and thanks for the comment!
@@therapywithghesline That's news to me too. I always heard, three's a crowd.
The accent is... sharp
Dunn Nuu Lol not an accent, it's just how she speaks.
Is accent is a matter of perspective? Wholesome ideas filling my head. Thank you for the comment :)
"Individual who does the most accommodating", how so?
Aloha! Thank you for the question :) Some examples of accommodations: always doing what the other person wants to do (attending events, eating at certain places, etc.), making choices based on the preferences of the other person and not your own, living in accordance with what makes the other person content without taking your own interests into consideration. Of course, there are varying degrees to this kind of behavior and sometimes are healthy ways of behaving in a family dynamic. It is when things are imbalanced or extreme that things can become toxic. I suppose the measurement of this is subjective so if you're wondering about how this might affect your own life, I suggest tracking your interactions and assessing how much of your choices are based on your preferences versus those of others. Ask yourself: is it easier to simply do what the other person wants rather than advocate for yourself? Do you avoid doing what you want in favor of others simply to avoid conflict? I also think it's important to realize that accommodating might look different from person to person. Please let me know what you think and if you have any additional questions :)
@@therapywithghesline Well explained. Thanks for taking time to answer.
this video is great but why does it sound like the audio was recorded through a tin can attached to a piece of string lol
I'm glad you liked the video! Yes - I have been able to upgrade my equipment so hopefully, the sound quality is better! Thanks for the comment :)
i just found this because thats my last name
Haha I love it!!
Same
So if I have understood correctly, you have to get your parents to engage in the therapy too? If you are the scapegoat though, they make you 100% responsible for the dynamic between you and them, even if you have the awareness to be in the ongoing process of hopefully differentiating. I am only 50% responsible for dynamic. I've been continuing in the role of scapegoat (reacting emotionally to their labelling of me) but I could never persuade them to go for therapy because the problem is ME! so I'm just wondering how often this therapy is given to a complete family unit.
Hi Susan, great question! Family systems theory is one modality for engaging in therapy. I understand that some family dynamics aren't suited for this. I too am sometimes pessimistic about parents who think it is the child who is the "problem." At the same time - it is helpful to try because there can be a lot of healing found in family systems therapy. There are plenty of other options for therapy even if the parents don't want to attend. I imagine it could be helpful to learn healthy and effective coping strategies for dealing with dysfunctional parents such as CBT, narrative reframing, DBT (distress tolerance and emotional regulation etc.). Hope this is helpful and thanks for the comment!
Hi Susan, I'm glad to hear you are finding ways to help you move forward. You can always write a letter and not send it. Sometimes it helps to get your thoughts down, but I'm sure your therapist has a good handle on things. I facilitate a DBT group where we teaching distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness and a couple other really great topics. Maybe participating in a DBT skills group is something you would enjoy. It sounds like you are on the right track regardless! Keep up the good work!
Yes - setting boundaries is also helpful because some of us are more emotionally reactive/sensitive and have trouble not reacting. And learning to tolerate distressing emotions is also key for those moments we can't control. Best of luck on your journey Susan!
typos "affairs" not "affiars"
Excellent feedback! Thank you 🙏 spelling has always been a challenge for me!
Although to be honest I’m working on so much more content that I might not get to it 🤷🏼♀️ don’t be discourage from future feedback 🤝
Ah yes, the classic affiars
It’s this the Maddie from SoCal? If so pleasure you meet
How wish I wasn’t the one my entire family decided to “cut off.”
I'm sorry to hear that :( Family is a difficult thing for a lot of people and I hope you are able to find moments for self-care.
@@therapywithghesline I’m studying Bowen to heal. I want to do my dissertation on Bowen Family Systems and the attachment based model of Parental alienation.
Have you ever looked into the concept? Gardner came up with “Parental Alienation Syndrome.” He didn’t base the Syndrome in any established Psychological, or Physiological theory so it was dismissed as junk science. Also thank you for your video you have helped me a lot!
Hi Karendal! I'm happy to hear you found this video helpful in you healing journey. Congrats on moving into higher education and studying a concept close to your heart! PAS seems very interesting, although I have not heard of it. I'm not completely surprised to hear a concept being dismissed in psychology - it can be a "boys club" sometimes, although I'd like to think it is getting better. I have to run but I will think about your comment and add a reply if I have anything substantial and worth sharing. Take care and thank you for the comment!
1:00 Did you hit your hand or something???
Funny you should ask! I was recording in 10-second increments using my apple headphones to control to record function. You're hearing me tap the stop recording button :)
what the hell man why is my name so popular like really my name is bowen
Sorry for the late reply! That must be weird! I've seen my name a handful of times and I usually get so excited haha! Thank you for the comment :)
@@therapywithghesline you're welcom :)
Explanation lacks examples
I'll try to fit that in next time I make a video like this. It would make the video longer for sure. I wonder if people would mind a longer video? Thanks for the feedback! Have a lovely rest of your week and thanks for the comment :)
I see the point of this video and understand the material, but it sounds like you just wanted to over complicate the material for the sake of doing so.
Succulent video; howevereth I disagree with thy at 4:20
So, ( i am ) very stupid and depressed. This is way far up my league. Too complicated. Hard to digest. Long. Loved the accent. Haha
Oh no!! Yeah - this presentation is really designed for people who are studying to become counselors. I know it feels a bit rushed - at the time when I was going to present this to a live audience, I had a time constraint. But hey - thanks for watching it even though it wasn't quite up your alley!
Ghesline Hewitt no i need to “study/ understand “ this cuz my psychiatrist “forced 😅 me to. My fam is a mess!!! And i am 😤😪 in a deep deep hole for a decade. So we trying to fix things up 🙄 how fun 🤠
You sound resourceful! I can relate to being in “hole.” It’s a constant battle and sometimes it feels like you’ve climbed so far only for a landslide to bring you back to the start again. I’m sorry you are suffering and sending some well wishes your direction 💜
Lmao
🌈🌈✨👍✨🌈🌈
T H A N K S !
You are super welcome!! Any requests for the next video?