Stockholm Synchronization Workshop - Loneliness and Avoidance
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- This is the Part 1 excerpt from the Stockholm Synchronization Workshop. You will see the introduction to the workshop along with the first session held on stage. Teal speaks with the participant about loneliness and avoidant attachment relationship style. Through understanding the avoidant attachment style we can understand the root of many loneliness afflictions on this planet.
The rest of the workshop can be viewed on premium at
www.tealswan.com/premium or
Part 2 of 3 - Synchronization Workshop - Triggered by Your Own Children
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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is ranked 27th on The Watkins Most Spiritually Influential Living People in 2018. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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Once, I met someone who asked me, "What are your needs? Are you thirsty or hungry?" and I was completely blown away. That kind of consideration is favourable, especially when it's consistent, stable, and genuine.
Very hard to find
& to live like this is an extra special uniqueness as like none other & all the same at once
It's multi-timelining adventures & they're mini games
“You never learned that somebody else was capable of considering your best interest. So you never opened the door for me to consider your need.” 🤯 mind blown.
Teal should quote this on Instagram
I honestly need more elaboration on what this means
@@wintonic7406 it's like if there were one slice of pizza left over from last night and neither had lunch. He says I'm hungry. I want that slice. She says I'm hungry too. And he says, well I'm hungry. I'm going to eat it. She says, can't we share it? He says you're needy! You're clingy! You always try to take all the food. Get your own slice. She says can't we figure something out? He says why are you still talking about this always creating drama. I'm trying to do some work. She says what if we split it and eat the rest of the salad it there to make it two full meals. He says, I saw it first. I'm eating it. I need food. She says, but don't you even care about me? He says, i paid for the pizza last night. She says, I paid for the Chinese the last time we ate out. He says you're needy. You're clingy. She says why don't I make us two plates with half slices, I'll make fuit salad, and you can make steamed broccoli so we can both eat balanced meal together. He says stop trying to control me. She says I just want to enjoy a nice meal, together. He says I just need to get back to work and be successful so Daddy loves me. I don't have time for all that. *he stuffs slice into mouth and tells her to grow up.
You can't make him care about her needs though, because he only knows to treat others the way he's been treated. He doesn't know how to be invested in her well being because he's so bought into dad he feels way out of line being naughty and taking a break to put her (and his needs for intimacy and food) before his Dad's long ago implanted need to have his son be a perfect little puppet/extension of himself.
That's how i get it.
@DT M She's really gifted at making psychology/behavioral health relatable!
@@youtubingbabs great illustration! Thank you very much!
One of the biggest things I’ve learned recently, is that I’ve avoided people because I’ve just assumed relationships would be one sided and no one would consider my needs…that it was me or them, and if it was me, I was selfish, and if it was them, I was humiliated. There was no winning. It donned on me, radically, that in adult life with healthy people, other healthy people will consider my best interest. Relationships aren’t so scary because they aren’t one sided like I assumed. Wild.
Teal, please do more work on the disorganized attachment! We so badly want a relationship but they feel to us exactly like you say, a constant terror! It's terrifying, weird, confusing, scary, hard! 😱😩😵😰😭😭😭
You need therapy with a person who works on disorganized attachment style. They give you whatever was missing in childhood and teach you to get it from yourself and from others as well.
Maybe you and should be in a relationship . Even if it’s scary 😂.
When I first heard about Teal it was through people who were extremely skeptical, and so I also came in as a skeptic. I watched a video to see if she was as bizarre as they made her sound. But now after watching so many of her videos and synchronization workshops I feel completely differently. Even if I’m not totally in alignment with everything she believes spiritually, she is so intelligent and speaks the hard truths. I have a great deal of respect now for Teal Swan 💕
Likewise....
the same here.
1:17:03 "You're not getting vulnerable enough for me to care."
This applies to me 100%. Opened my eyes quite a bit.
mine too
it even hurt to hear her saying like that to him
I have an issue with vulnerability too
I cried watching this because I’m just starting to recover from a relationship I was in exactly like this, and I was the anxious one. She’s right, you feel like your hooked on drugs and recovering feels like withdrawing from a drug you’ve been hardcore hooked on. It is so hard. And very damaging to all aspects of yourself.
Its good to hear you are in healing and recovery season.
Stand up Straight With Your Shoulders Back thank you ❤️
@@jodam96 you're welcome. Im glad my Logos helped.
Det är bra att gråta
I relate
I love the way Teal dresses. It screams: I know me, I love me, I honor me!!
Or love me honnor me who am i
My every relationship ever has been with a version of this man. The courage it took for him to move into a pattern of wellness is encouraging - healing, dare I say - for me.
Teal has such a powerful presence 💕
I would add that she is also warm.
SirenoftheVoid yes she is
Agreed and she's beautiful
i'm a woman but i had attachment style like him. all i need is total autonomy for now, and when it's time to choose relationship in my will, then i'll try to be more close and not afraid that i'll lose myself 😢
oh my god this is so PRECIOUS. thank you, teal.
22:15 Teal, I absolutely love how you mix psychology with spiritual teachings
Teal’s intermittent reinforcement video saved my life from this type of relationship (I am anxious attachment) I left the relationship and am so much happier
🎉🎉❤
This was extremely useful to me as someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style. I felt so triggered and annoyed by the guys responses & then I realized, that's me! I'm working with my therapist on learning to feel my emotions and then express them. It's hard work though.
I was there! Incredible experience, one of the best in my life. Thank you
Amazing that u got a chance to go there😰..i wanna goo😧
It seemed like a great moment
I was also there, loved it! 😊🤗
@@RussMalina Hi Ekaterina, that's wonderful to know, so great to connect with conscious people :)
You are a fool
I‘m so grateful that you uploaded the workshop! 🙏🏻 Thank you so much! 🥰
IsabelleJoanaStahl me too!
much love teal swan
waiting for part2 being uploaded
Indeed
That disorganized attachement thing just blew my mind! Wow! I'd be soooo happy to hear more about that from you Teal *-* !!
me too, it actually made me shed a few tears :( I wish there was more information about it
Your lucky! The attachement theory is basic psyhology actually.
Yup, just RUclips it, there are a lot of good psychologists on here who explain it very well. Actually a lot of what Teal talks about can be found in psychology. And the psychologists have really helped me understand her points even more :) I recommend Psychology in Seattle
I love Teal Swan, she makes it so easy to learn.
I love how she said "magic" and I love how time is no factor in these workshops. Three years after it was posted the content is still speaking to so many of us. It is still very much "alive" to us. It is as if we were perhaps not ready to learn what was taught during the workshop but we are ready now as we watch it. This is absolute magic. This is the magic of life.
I know huh?! Now is when I needed to see this video. Right now.
This has nothing to do with time. It's about human evolution.
Teal, that was amazing. I am avoidant attachment style and most everyone else in my life seems to have had abandonment issues. I understand so much better what's been going on. It was the enmeshment that has made me this way. I couldn't see that as my issue relative to my attachment style. I am also not comfortable with having so much power in relationships like Blake said about himself. I had no idea that I could be the one who is abusive in my relationships as you described. Thank you for helping me to see where I can finally begin to work on this aspect of myself for me and for the people I really do care about. What an eye opener.
The full part is on RUclips under the same title starting at about 22:00 min in with this guy on stage and is VERY invaluable. It’s therapy gold for Avoidant and Anxious attachment styles dating Avoidants! This should be required education for Avoidants, it’s so well done. Definitely check out the full video if you want more of this clip.
My German Shepard Dog suffered with separation issues and I suffered with abandonment issues. First time in life I felt loved, wanted, needed. It was a start of my healing journey. My new partner stays with me all the time. We work from home on separate businesses. My need for predictability is met and yes, my best interest is his best interest and yes, when he is away, I feel safe and secure. Thank you for the great insight.
The avoidance guy seems like he wants to stay positive so hard, like he's all about avoiding his shadow, he even said he was "confused in a good way".
Dom Q yes, good point! I had the feeling he wasn’t totally surrendering to something, but I couldn’t put my finger on what
I had to really zero in on this one hard in order for me to get it. So I can understand Blake's responses. We don't want to be avoiding love at all.💔Oh, God no!
Ok Teal, you got me. Im gonna get the Premium Membership...
Same, I just subscribed, that was amazing!
“My approval & closeness to you is completely dependent on you giving yourself up for me” 😭
I love when she says "Do you want me to tell you why?" She sounds like a little English Granny.
Like super nanny show ? 😂😂
I noticed the same!! She does it more often. I wonder how this came to be.
This single video just elevated my entire life! Teal, omg...God bless you, God keep you! You are doing AMAZING work upon this planet. Keep...going!!!
One hour and a half of Teal! I'm in heaven... Would you consider uploading the whole recent Birmingham workshop? That had some really good sessions.
@Just Serenity Ah I see thanks!
Same feeling
Can you please please do more on the disorganised attachment style???!!!
Yesss please!
ohh yes
Yes!!! Highly requested.
I think we really need this one yes.
Linnéa Hasselgren yeah, I know i do! Its getting more and more clear to me that i have traits of this attachment style. Which is somehow a relief because in the past I always got confused feeling a mix of avoidant and anxious, not being able to figure out where I fitted in that and how to deal with it.
How Teal describes it is exactly how I feel, to a T. When I get in to a fearful state in relationships I freeze and I don’t want the other person to come closer or put any pressure on me, this feels very threatning, but I also don’t want them to leave and abandon me which feels equally scary. So I feel completely stuck and powerless. All I really want is for them to tell me: I AM HERE AND AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, LET ME KNOW WHENEVER YOU ARE READY. So stay lovingly open and present. Without moving forward or pulling away. But this feels like soooo much to ask from someone. I am lucky enough to have experienced this once or twice in the last year and it feels like a uge relief
that guy in the chair triggers my anxiety i could literally feel every moment by all accounts he did well .
Same! It was so difficult to watch. 😂
I like seeing blake open up.
This was so valuable, probably the most valuable thing we need to learn in general in relationships. Taking each other's best interests at heart is something that was always lacking in my relationships. Even when there wasn't even any enmeshment or abandonment trauma in our childhoods, it was still not something we've learned. It was always a zero-sum game and that's the norm.
Wow i was looking into attachment styles like 2 days ago and i got confirmed mine is the avoidant one. Today i decided to watch one of Teals workshops and this was the first video that came up. What a synchronicity
This should be taught in schools Teal
I could listen to every workshop ever non stop. So addicting!
I feel the same.
i grew up feeling like i HAD to be independent and when i got in relationships, i would at times completely not consider how the other person felt because i put myself first.....but then when i did consider how the other person felt, it almost felt like i was being taken advantage of and wasnt my own person.....its a really slippery slope and many people are afraid of losing themselves to someone else.
That happened to mee too (when I was extremely young and was afraid of "entrapment" . But when you grow up and you develop more self-confidence+independence you are not scared of "entrapment" anymore. You KNOW that if you start being taken advantage of you will leave and you won't be too scared of leaving , so paradoxically you don't feel that much like escaping anymore . ).
I did not actually get entrapped but I WATCHED how other people got entrapped with their parents or their friends or partners so although I wanted to get close to people I avoided it 100% for a while until I was SURE there is no way for me to "lose myself" into connections.
The whole "lose myself" thing did NOT happen to me BUT I watched it happen to other people and I was so damn scared of it I just isolated myself a lot for years.
Nowadays I am not too scared of anything : enmeshment is not very likely to happen to me because I know how to leave a person when things get parasitical or just incompatible. I am also not that much likely to attract abandonment , since I feel no attraction towards people who are standoffish , inconsistent or breakers of promises.
When you do introspection you DISCOVER what thoughts ,traumas and beliefs attract slavery or aloneness in your life and when you uproot those thoughts from your system these things do not happen to you anymore , or not at such huge scale as to traumatize you.
This video resolved one of my life’s most torturing doubts. What a Christmas present. Can’t express how thankful I am for it. Thank you, Teal. Please please please come to Brazil!
Wow, fantastic analysis of early childhood development and the parent expectations of erasing their children's sense of self to control them and how the children who didn't make it we're fighting for their identity at the cost of being ostorized.
Pure wisdom, very well articulated, very helpful, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Omg disorganised this is my bringing :( crying really hope i find that right person one day
This hits home for me in so many ways. I feel like I have never learned so much about relationship in my life, and why my relationships have been as they have. Teal, your examples, presentation style and wisdom really works for me to understand how to approach healing. I too feel as though I have been on an Ayahuasca trip my whole life. I have also been diagnosed dyslexic (among other 'disorders') both in childhood and again as an adult. Thank you from the whole of my heart for your work. Thank you. 🙏🏽
Really helpful and thanks for the guy with the avoidant pattern. Quite a few insights
Thank you for this, super grateful for you
Good lookin guy!
Thank you, Teal. Watching this is giving me feeling that I have done a lot better in life that I've been thinking and perhaps others have made me think. In a way it's bringing me back to my core and my inner knowledge. I was recently in a very unhealthy relationship where a lot of my beliefs about "how to feel with someone" or "how to deal with situations" got twisted around - for example the fact that his idea of compromise was "take a little pain each", and I never agreed with that. I wanted us both to really connect and feel that relief. While I haven't lost myself entirely, I can feel that it's been affecting me a lot... like my sense of self and self-confidence (this stuff was on many many areas of life, not just that). Listening to you now I feel that inner strength coming back and remembering who I really am and what sort of partner I'm looking for.
So thank you for being so damn authentic, you are ridiculously brave speaking your truth like this and I'm so glad our planet has someone like you on it ♥
How does Teal explain disorganized attachment better than all of the books and professionals I have heard from with one freaking sentence WTF.
❤ ... &ty for your bravery, compassion and LOVE Teal🩵
Imagine what the world would be like if everyone could understand, and implicate these techniques to one's lives.
Just Wow!
🌱
Teal Swan
How I am the same as you:
In my Mama's womb, her blood was RH negative and mine RH positive ....
I nearly fell over when I heard you share this.
I, too am extra sensory ...and always have been.
When I read your descriptions of different places ....I so relate...as I do the same thing.
I receive understandings about places...what works or does not work. Many times I would read your
writings and feel that this could be mine....only I did not dare write it for fear of being called crazy.
It is a worry I have often.
Also, like you, I am persecuted pretty much everywhere I go...and loved. People feel super comfortable around me because I let them be.
I also, like you, love being in front of an audience.
My traumas from childhood involve an adult male taking advantage of me alone, in secret.
I could go on.
And will rest there.
this fascinates me. thank you for sharing
Teal is a true original in her presentation style. She can inspire a person to genuinely consider the process of life, whilst being - as they used to say - “dressed to kill”. She has an elegant approach towards the destruction of standardised ignorance. Wow!
I often break out in tears when I watch anything by you, Teal. You awaken me to myself. You ease me into loving all my parts, to bless the journey that allowed me to see these parts, and have such gratitude to have such an incredible teacher to guide me along the way. I can’t wait for the pandemic to shift to a place where we can travel again so I can attend one of your workshops and hopefully hug you and express just how grateful I am for all you do for us💜❤️.
YES! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UPLOADING THIS!!! WOHO!
Just awsome....is it just my feeling that Teal gets more and more powerful in every way...? It is hard to imagine at her already so evoluted level, that it can get more intense, but it actally is happening. It just impresses and moves me beyond words... Australia was awsome too, just to mention, fantastic. Be blessed
Jean-Baptiste
Dang... I resonate so much with Teals teachings, it’s like innate and I just forgot because society likes to program us. She’s so spot on. Grateful for this video🙏
The way she explained the conscious was well said and understood. I would add, it's like water we're all equally sharing. This connected us in "current" like an endless ocean of energy separating and coming back together.
can anyone else believe the knowledge of this beautiful woman? we miss our own selves so easily ..so helpful to gather more insights and awareness ..thankyou teal
You just broke me wide open, in the best possible way. I always wondered why I flip flopped between avoidant and anxious. I call in both avoidant and anxious partners. I will even switch from avoidant to anxious in the same relationship depending how they are acting. The second they pay "too much" attention to me I feel smothered, untrusting, in physical danger. Then they will go out to get a coffee and my avoidant kicks in, fear its over, they are leaving for good. Now I have a definition "disorganized attachment". When I read it, it's bang on. You saying that exercise where partner lays down and doesn't approach, but doesn't leave. I imagined it, and it broke me open. I can't imagine that in a partnership. The feeling that someone doesn't want anything from me, but is also not leaving, is something I will hold tight. Thank you for everything you do. Your videos help me beyond words. Thank you for putting yourself out there in the world, navigating the haters. Just know, you have a real cheerleader out here. Thank you.
Gratitude to you beautiful Teal ❤
Blake's pretty dope
Very helpful! Im in a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style. Everything about him is avoidant, repressive, denial.... It's extremely frustrating but, understanding, helps me keep my cool.
I'm very very happy they uploaded the Stockholm one after I've read it on her blog!
Wooow. Game-changing. Thanks for uploading it to the public.
Definitely
She looks like a goddess 😭❤️
That's because she IS a Goddess.
Omg so exited by this video, the information I've been craving! thank you Teal 🤩
Please do more videos about how to get a stronger sense of self. 😘 So much love ♥️
You really are a visionary and insightful way beyond anything or anyone I’ve seen yet. Thank you for all of it. It’s truly invaluable to the connection elements of us with ourselves and ourselves with others.
Teal is AMAZING!!!! Ive learnt so much, I love how straightforward and to point she is with her teaching!!!
This is the best RUclips video I have ever watched.
YOU ARE AMAZING TEAL SWAN!!! SO TRUE _ ALL OF IT!! YOU ARE absolutely correct !! 💯. LOVE LOVE LOVE
Lol Stockholm Syndrom debunked in Stockholm, love it. We grow to trust or rely on the very people who entrap us (mentally and physically)... subconsciously acting in way they expect of you intitiated through enmeshment trauma....and you can either become completely co-dependant or avoidant, what is it that causes some people to be pushed away and others to heavily rely on these people? Is it the amount of closeness in the relationship? Now I'm so curious
That is a great question i had this dynamic with a person and i chose to start doing things for me and refused to be gaslit anymore it worked.
I am using radical acceptance concept to work to do random reality checks and examine things more closely, trust myself, trust action over words, trust my research and statistics, my common sense. The book The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker is amazing. I'm not super into auras and spirits and stiff although I don't claim none of it exists. But I see Teal has inedible insight about behavior and perception and take what I like and leave the rest (something I learned in Alanon, another amazing program) to keep on my path to self-care. Good luck!
Everytime a video comes on its exactly what i need when i watch it... made me cry so much x
HolyS***!!! Explained everything I'm currently struggling with! Thank you soooooo much!!!
This is all so incredible. I definitely appreciate the explanation of disorganized attachment in relationship with the training of horses.
I learned so much through this video I can‘t even count it.
Blessings to you Teal
You so intelligent and empathic! It's impressive!!!
I Would Have Never Noticed Myself Without Seeing This Video. Thank You Teal, And Also Thank You To The Guy In The Hot Seat. Because Of This I Can Aspire To Heal.
I just found this video and watched the whole thing because I am exactly this guy. Very helpful.
Wow.... So beautiful how much this all flowed. Makes me soooofa king grateful for my partner and how she treats me. Then again she is my SoulFlame. Mind Blown.
Excited to watch this :)
Was there as well
I have a huge resistance against the avoidant attachment style, this video started playing out of nowhere, spirit wants me to learn something lol
Very very beautyful, please do more on these styles, this was SO indescribably useful and lifesaving to me.
Even though I have been doing all I could, on attachment styles and trauma especially. But the disorganized and anxious style, and how they work (terribly) with the avoidant, this was incomparable.
You are good at putting it into very understanderble explanations, that we can interpretate in our reality, like really.
It says everything about you. That you really want everyone to be able to follow, not just speaking for the admiration, like everyone else seems to do, with no usable clarification or deeper description of what it ACTUALLY means ❤
It really chocked me, that the avoidant is actually the one that conformed, and lost their real definition of autonomy, while the anxious are the one, that can't let go of their authentic actual needs for REAL closeness, a type of predictable and secure, loving closeness, that is not just dependent on them being the perfect faked doll.
Now it is clear, why the avoidant seeks and are longing so intensely for autonomy, and seeking the feeling of a defined self, and seeks to define their boundaries so much, over everything else. ❤
He's always so childlike. I'm happy they found each other.
After a long time someone who connect with at a deeper level
This is so beautifully informative. Thank You. 🙏🏽 💐🫶🏽💞
Honored to have you here Teal as a swede tickets were sold out so i could not attend but it was a cool night i see
This was a joy to watch seeing how I also have an avoidant attachment style. Just finished reading Teal's book. Amazing!! 👍👌So enlightening!! Another book I stumbled upon recently that goes more into attachment styles is a book entitled "Attached". Haven't read but will do.
I usually never watch long videos...bt this video made me feel like why is it getting over...love you teall...
Shine on sister, be blessed with a prosperous New Year,love & light from Greece!
Teal please do a video deep diving into the anxious attachment style. In fact a video on all the attachments styles would be great.
what about those who are fearful avoidant? cause i feel like i cant handle either. i cant handle being abandoned by an avoidant and i cant handle being too demanded by someone it´s suffocating
Thank you so much for all the content Teal it makes so much difference in so many people's lives.
I can relate to this guy so much..this message that teal gave is for me...the best workshop everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....i cant thanyou enough for posting it..it means a lot..this is the exact same problem i am dealing with
I just drew a boundary and was so happy about knowing one more thing about myself, and now I know I was drawing a boundary and that’s why it made me so happy!!! ❤❤❤❤ thank you teal 😘
Very useful information.Thank you!
What if I've been both sides in different relationships? In one relationship I was in control, in the next, my partner was. I don't think I could have changed my subconscious programming in that short amount of time.... very interesting.
I can fully relate to that.. I believe that both attachment styles aren't necessarily mutually exclusive and that it's perfectly possible to have experienced as a child both types of trauma.. and the thing is that the one is not truly dominating over the other so you attract circumstances in your life that trigger either the one at a specific point in time or the other.
Wow! The timing of this is so beautiful and perfect! Thank you so much Teal ❤❤❤
Thank you beautiful soul for being here, hope to come visit you in person once in this lifetime!
This last exercise is really triggering me with the whole dynamic, but in a positive way. This is so common with male-female relationships, especially where I’m from. Reminds me of the movie ‘The Breakup’ when Jennifer Anniston screams ‘I want you to want to do the dishes!!!’ and then the women feels dismissed when the man is like your just a crazy hormonal woman or something like that haha an, totally emotional for me rn...Teal please do a video expanding more on this I feel like it could help so many people. I don’t think the guest on stage realizes how triggering and upsetting the seemingly simple dirty dishes issue can be for so many women.
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ruclips.net/video/_bqhVqTuFO4/видео.html.
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LOL I found it for all whose interested 😂😂😂
This got me realizing so much, thank you for all the work you do really you're amazing!!!
@28:00 parents who treat children like dolls. @ 32:00 avoidant attachment vs anxious attachment - 34:15 @51:30 intermittent reinforcement pattern. 59:30 healing for both types of attachment styles.
Thanks for the great pointers about how our early attachment styles are played out in our current relationships.
I live in America. But I was in Stockholm Sweden 🇸🇪 when Teal was there for this. I wanted to go so bad but was leaving to go back home early that next morning. But I was so happy and surprised to be going through the Swedish newspaper and see Teal was there. I’m always going back and forth so I hope she goes back to Stockholm again. This time I’ll be there.