"My New Job Has Only One Rule; Don't Die" Creepypasta
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- Опубликовано: 28 авг 2021
- CREEPYPASTA STORY►by JessumGui: / my_new_job_has_only_on...
Creepypastas are the campfire tales of the internet. Horror stories spread through Reddit r/nosleep, forums and blogs, rather than word of mouth. Whether you believe these scary stories to be true or not is left to your own discretion and imagination.
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This creepypasta is for entertainment purposes only
#Creepypasta #Horror #CreepsMcPasta 
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![Eminem - Tobey (feat. Big Sean & Babytron) [Official Audio]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9xn0OHEZZ8Q/mqdefault.jpg)
It's a rare and satisfying twist on these weird job stories, when the protagonist turns out to be suited for it and even enjoy it. The reality is, there are weird people out there, and there's someone for every job.
The question is : is there a job for every person 🤔
@@christipof5934 Have you heard of: the homeless?
I am the perfect person for this job.
@@gravethebeyond only with a hand cannon
Hhhhh h by 7
"i've become the thing under the mosters bed"
this is the kinda shit that would get me killed laughing out loud all of a sudden XD
Same...I'm way too easily amused
There were quite a few funny lines in this one lol
It got me too, mate
Lmao, the way this guy burns himself on the regular is great. Hearing him go "It occurred to me that if my existence was translated into architecture, it would look a lot like this," cracked me up.
Main charector is a girl. 5 foot 5 130 lbs description given.
@@brianshissler3263 Hmm, perhaps. I'm pretty sure that at some point it's given away that the mc is a dude. They emphasize that they look for people of a shorter stature because it makes the job easier. Yeah, perhaps he's not a guy, but does it really matter that much? Also, guys can be short and weigh less.
@@H4FF I have a shocking revelation for you though.... men can both be skinny AND short duun duuun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun
@@brianshissler3263 yeah that makes some sense now. The reference to Stan being a creep.
Main character is a guy*
So if you die, you're fired. Your ghost can't work. Got it
MORDECAI, RIGBY REVIVE YOURSELVES NOW OR YOU’RE FIRED!
Now I want a story about the lost souls of the runners who didn't make it. Maybe the creature is so ill tempered because the ghosts of its victims haunt him when the keepers aren't there. His own version of the monster in the closet.
@@Doad18 STOP SLACKING OR YOUR FIRED
@@antares4313 IM IN SPACE FUCK AM I GONNA DO FROM HERE
lucky ghost
As a security guard, I can confirm that the level of training and amount of information they gave our protagonist is accurate.
It's good to know how well researched and accurate this story was. Thank you
3rd security guy here, that right there is a Texas sized 10-4
Exactly
Stanley was correct in the end, being constantly close to possible death really makes you feel alive. Whether it’s the adrenaline or just the thrill, there’s nothing like it. It’s been said it’s as close to an addiction without substances that you can get. Plus he laughed half the time, he’s hooked!
There's always those situations where possible death came so fast that you didn't have time for thrill or adrenaline. Just the shock of whoa how did I not die right then. That kinda sucks because at least if it is your fault in some sort of way maybe thrill or adrenaline would count but not almost sudden death. I've felt em. Lol
Until he's Dwayne. 😁
You can be addicted to anything, including adrenaline.
I concur!! I was an adrenaline junky and couldn’t do crazy stuff after I had kids and then I actually ended up gettin hooked on stupid pills and stuff for a little while. I’m 3 years clean and sober now. Love life again and go to water parks for me fix😂😂
Being a D class personnel is tough
Scp readings/readers are great🙏
D is for Dead
@@notmarvelsloki4721 d for dispenserble/ disposable
Hey, when you run low on death row inmates, you gotta get them d class from somewhere. 🤣
Yes they are
"It wrapped its hand around my head, lifting me off the ground, its razor-filled mouth inches away from its face, inspecting me. 'Now you seek, I hide' it hissed."
lmao , i can definitely imagine this
Imagine that as the twist and all it wanted was to play XD
Love that he didn't know whether he was going to scream or giggle. I'd probably be giggling with a silver lined sword and an iron poker just in case....
I hope there is more to come of this..
@@notmarvelsloki4721 same here this was a great story. I wouldn't know to scream or giggle either im bad in serious situations
i legit want more stories about this guy and this job this wasn't even a scary creepypasta it was just fun
I honestly think the ones that try to be extremely scary almost always end up failing. It’s more interesting when they have a nice balance of being interesting AND spooky.
Nice story
I guess I'll take this as a warming sign and listen to this later, because I need something *spooky* now.
Thanks for the heads-up
Honestly, other than your "Really Heavy, Existential Writings," that you can tell the Author felt 'Compelled' to Write, - as a Writer myself, what I call the "Writings that, for the Survival of One's Mental-Identity/Spirit, Equates to *Breathing* for the Survival of the Body" - (the type that, though usually Phenomenal, & often 'Life-Altering,' aren't always the "Most Fun to Get Through;" I feel that some of the Best Writings are one's you can tell that the Author had Tons of Fun while Writing!!
Granted, they're not *Nearly* as *Impactful* as the Former, but, then again, those aren't Exactly the Kinds of Works that people turn to Creepypastas for, lol! So, I guess you can say that the Latter-Type of Stories are Usually the *Pinnacle* of "Creepypasta-Writing!"
Definitely. It's one of the best stories I've listened to since the guard in a prison for evil monsters. Well it's something like that it's on dark soniminium channel
One thing I really appreciate about this channel is how their isn’t an ad every 5 or 6 minutes. I feel like it really helps with staying immersed in the story.
Also helps when you're listening to sleep. You don't suddenly get Jared awake.
I’m only just realizing how they don’t have a bunch of adds, thank the creators for this cuz they could add loads of adds
@@asandax6 legit bro I use these to help me sleep at night but the ads jolt me up I’m glad I’ve got RUclips premium now
@@asandax6 ugh ik right...I just hate when Jared is awake he won't stop talking about his jewelry business and making "he went to Jared's" jokes like ppl just casually stroll into his house for rings it's seriously annoying
@@Mayyhin Adblock works too
Brilliantly written, actually cared about the main character not just surviving the shift but life in general.
Really immersed myself into this story, so well told.
Thank you for this wonderful creation.
"My new job has only one rule: don't die"
Let me guess, you got drunk and enlisted in the army again?
again? well tbf being drunk has the side effect of bringing you back to old things.. like ex's
I feel like thats kind of the opposite. "Don't die" is more of a suggestion than a rule in the army, and the military in general has a metric ton of rules besides.
@@dylanneely91 bro its clearly a joke. You dont need to analyze it
@@fquiroz6592 no offense bro but you don't have to analyze a turd to tell it stinks. This was like making a joke about how cars and cats are alike because they both have wheels.
@@dylanneely91 you gotta be kidding me
"My new job has only one rule; don't die"
Well yes, that seems like a pretty solid rule... But most jobs suppliment that rule with other rules like "be available to work for a set period each day", "achieve pre established goals to a set schedule", and generally "perform the role you for which you were hired"
Sounds like a do nothing job without those other rules...
Those other rules only apply to normal jobs. But after hearing this story I have to conclude that it is more of a challenge than a rule.
Still not as dangerous as being friends with the Clinton's
Isn't don't die like the rule of life in general? It doesn't even need to be said for a job.
Dont die is more of a suggestion then a rule, though the others you added sound like my day to day work life, with the possibility of severe injury or death if you do something wrong
Yeah, Amazon does not care about this rule of dieing, your a number to them.
Finally, a list of rules that I could actually remember the full list. I'd probably still break it, but at least I'd remember it.
😂😂😂 well remembering is kinda irrelevant if you break that rule….sooo…there’s…that lol. 😂
@@theobaidyfamily90 But then you see the fine print: “Breaking this rule will result in disciplinary action, and yes, we can contact you in the afterlife.”
“I never wore pants.” Said with so much pride, too. 😂👖
Yes he only wore gray sweatpants 😏😏
Hey, some of us take *Pride* in our lack of Reliance on "Unnatural Body Coverings," lol!
[Actually, it wasn't until the Advent of Horseback Riding that *Pants* became something that *Men* Stereotypically wore; Women, *Traditionally,* being the one's who wore Pants - before the "Feminine Hygiene Industry," of Modern Times, Women traditionally used Moss during their "Menses," hence needed 'Bottom Coverings' that had a "Crotch" sewn into them to hold said Moss in place.
At the same time, - as Illustrated by Traditional Men's "Bottom Coverings" such as the Kilt, - Men, possessing *External Genitalia,* were the One's who needed the "Extra Room Between Their Legs" that 'Crotchless' Clothings afforded. Yes, men had 'Crotched Clothings' for situations that wearing One's Without were 'Ill Advised,' (i.e. Trekking through Snows, High Grasses filled with Snakes & Biting Insects, etc, etc...)
So, it wasn't until Riding a Horse became the usual, everyday, method of ’Getting Around’ that Men transitioned from things like Kilts, Robes, Toga-Like Coverings, & the like, to wearing Pants on a Daily Basis - & even though we've *Long* since left that *In the Past* our "Tender Bits" continue to Remain *Cramped* by being *Smooshed* into Pants, & their Equally Sadistic Cousins: Shorts!]
@@prophetsam I appreciate the giggle from the end!
Aye yo I don't wear pants as much as possible and I'm proud of it
I really like this story. The main character really feels like a real person. The way he smacked Stanley with the flashlight is the most realistic reaction I’ve ever heard in one of these.
Can we please turn this into an episodic series of him in different nights??? I loved everything about this character and the story + background!!!!!
22:03 literally the only documented case of jumping head first into a seemingly bottomless pit saving your life
Would've died if the friendly monster didn't catch him to slow his fall. Good guy monster.
The scariest part about this story is being 5’5 that sucks bro.
🤣🤣
But I'm 5'5....
Banana Johnson
That sucks bro.
Any taller and he would’ve got his head chopped off with the curtain. Short ppl rise up!💪🏽
Brandino 679
“Short people rise up”
Poor choice of words.
"I am the thing under the monster's bed"...bruh 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounds like the creature finds it fun as well. Could have had him a few times but kept the chase going.
lonely it gets , play hide and seek with its food
"We haven't tried a nuke yet: since the 1940s, it's never been polite enough to build a nest miles away from any civilian population center."
Just keep the schedule of baiting the monster every night while you evacuate everyone in the blast radius and fallout area.
Confirm the monster is asleep for that night.
Leave.
Drop nuke.
See if it worked.
I think 'don't die' is the unwritten rule of every job.
At least he found a purpose.
Like RIGHT since when have we seen character development in a creepy pasta? Other than in ones based off of already made stories; that are more fanfic than creepy pasta? Like this man found a purpose. It’s a terrible one but a purpose none the less.
Part 2 could definitely be the “monster” protecting its eggs all along .... and now they’re about to hatch..
Part 3 "The eggs were talking to me, and I should not listen to them, now I am in an Indian restaurant regreting my decision."
Bullshit trope NGL
Ooo I LOVE that idea :D
It can be a real challenge and a serious head-scratcher for "The Crew" to figure out. Cue theme music!
But there's the problem of *No Bitches* so maybe not.
My job also has only one rule. The rule is Laz can’t have hot water. Crazy I know, but when you pour hot water on the face of a member of HR. Things don’t go so good for you.
... and you did this why? 🤔🙄😂
"I'm the thing under the monster's bed."
I swear, I would've literally died laughing if I was in that position. 😂💀
This was actually a pretty good creature feature story. I thought the creature worked well and the mc made sensible smart decisions. My only thing is, wouldn't the creature learn and adapt to its prey, I can't imagine someone lasting a long time in there even if they're an X junkie or whatever. I only say this cause I feel like this should be a thought that the mc should have.
That probably why it thought to open up the dryers and to slash the curtain MC was behind
If the creature is something similar to a canine or feline behavior wise, it wouldn't be surprising if it can only learn so much, especially after living for so long
It could be more animalistic than human, it has a clear ability to escape if it puts its mind to it, but you can distract it very easily and it acts rather primal. So it might not learn the same way humans and other great apes do (how prey was able to hide behind something and exploit it) and rather learns in a more primitive way (prey is behind something, try breaking it down rather than finding out how it was able to get behind).
As someone else said, that's probably the reason that it opens dryers, and slams on the closed janitors closet door. From the description of it, it doesn't seem particularly intelligent, more like animalistic. So those more complex behaviors are probably learned from prior chases.
It would have its claws full trying to adapt to me. Every time I listen to this story I think of a couple more tricks to get out of a tight spot or stack the deck in my favor.
ay this one was exciting, the monster was scary to think about. Imagine how great it is if Stanley said "trust me kid, we've been doing this for along time. And this thing isn't the only one out there."
the protagonist had the intuition for the job and enjoyed the thrill, this could be the beginning of something.
This is a refreshing take. The first few "my job has strange rules" stories were great but I keep seeing them EVERYWHERE now so this was nice new and I appreciate it taking jabs at that trope.
That's probably the only rule that makes sense in all of these rule Creepypastas 🙄
If you really think like that then your personality has to be about as exciting as a soaked piece of stale bread
@@KryptoKn8 all the other rules are like: if you see a dark shadow cross your path then turn around and start singing Ring Around the Rosie 🙄
Main character sounds like my clone. As if he is actually me. Main character went through a hell of hells. Wish we could trade places. I swear.. The worst hell in life is being directionless. It can break you.
The worst thing to do in life is to feel comfort in your dysfunctions. Seek something different in life man and force yourself to change . Much love
I feel the same as him, and as you
And it kinda feels sad or pathetic from time to time, though i forget about it
the only thing I can imagine about the monster is that it came from toy story, that baby doll head with the spider's leg. the resemblance is strong lol
Morning. Very long time listener here. Im grateful you do what you do.
The second unspoken rule of the job is as such: if you see Lee Jackson in the hall, RUN LIKE SMEG.
if you see Samuel L Jackson, speak English
Smeg?
@@shitneyb5562 It's a Red Dwarf reference. And also a Rise of the Triad reference.
@@GmodPlusWoW sorry I'm old
The best way to wait for the cat 4 hurricane coming this way into Louisiana USA, listening to the best creepy pasta.
As someone who was Born & Raised, & lived for a bit over my first two Decades, on the E. Coast of S. Florida, I feel you, & wish you Luck!
This was a good one, I want more of exactly this
I'll do it. If I can run into burning buildings for free then 2k a week let's play lol
Wow. This one actually had me on the edge of my seat while listening to it. . Good story.
"...I'm sure I could run faster scared than Stanley could run horny"....one of the BEST lines ever!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I hope this guy does a follow-up, did some really good setting building
"My New Job Has Only One Rule; Don't Die"
Isn't that mandatory in every rule story?
I mean, I've seen a lot of jobs that want you to work yourself to death, so I think it's an optional rule lol
At least this one is easy to remember.
Eh I mean I like to think if it more as a guideline
2:37
The most relatable sentence I have ever heard.
I'm not gonna lie, this got me hyped. I want more. I see a video game tie-in, something like Alien Isolation. I would play it every day. Hell, two grand a week, I think I would do the live-action version...
I liked this one. It was fun, had subtle humour, didn’t take itself too seriously, but at the same time delivered a tense and compelling story. I enjoyed the cat and mouse games the protagonist and monster played with each other. Good story, one if the better ones I’ve heard
"I figured I could run faster scared than Stanley could run horny" is a quote that will stick with me to the end of my days
I too try not to die at work, among a list of many other things. this guy is lucky that's all he has to worry about
I’m sure the most scariest rule for you is being yelled at by the boss
@@campbellsjournal6537 nah dat doesn't scare me yo!
This is one of my very favorite stories. It checks all my boxes: creepy location (bonus points for abandoned hospital), something haunting the shadows, monsters chasing guards down winding corridors. Just all the yes!!
I really hope the author turns this into a series! There’s SO MANY ways to make it creepy AND funny! 😁♥️
I too must also adhere to this rule working a double shift with 4 hours of sleep
I normally listen to these creepypastas because of the story and despite the writing, but I really enjoyed the writing of this. That being said, the ~"trust me kid, we've tried every solution you can think of" is the biggest cop-out I've ever heard, especially considering the fact that this mofo needed several attempts to knock down the door of a janitor's closet. 😂
2k a week though for 3 days of running 🤔 why am I interested. Also I love the rule creepy pastas they’re my favorite and I love this channel so much ❤️❤️❤️
@Dylan If you get lucky the creature can be inactive for days or weeks at a time, meaning you may not see it on your shifts very often.
@@crackededge9351 Nah 100% give me a month or 2 to get more in shape, talk to the other dudes ask them about it and tactics. im down
I like animals too much, when I heard the part about the monster kneading the nest before curling up to sleep I actually awwed out loud
I like that one of these characters is actually returning to the "creepy " dangerous job. Most of the other "strange set of rules" stories actually don't seem that bad and I'd like to hear more about them returning to "work. "
Damn. You really didn't have to call me out like that with the intro.
Since when have we seen character development in a creepy pasta? Other than in ones based off of already made stories; that are more fanfic than creepy pasta? Like this man found a purpose. It’s a terrible one but a purpose none the less. The character has an actual arch other than at first I was oblivious to the dangers. Now I’m traumatized. We need more!!!!
Yo real shit I'm kinda jealous I don't even have a purpose... not that I want one like entertaining a monster cuz no thanks but still must be nice
I agree, I wish this became a series. Part one, frail couch potato, part 2 survivor, part 3, monster hunter
"I like a man that grins when he fights" this guy was good, nice one!
I appreciate greatly how the thumbnail actually manages to match the content for once.
Exactly most of the time the tittle is: "I found a weird creature in the Pacific Ocean"
with a thumbnail of a terrifying looking creature and in the story itself it ends up being a fucking octopus with three eyes
I wish these stories had sequels, ya know? Like I'd love to hear what happened the next night on the job, ya know?
I can’t be the only one who had a burst of laughter when he said “…I’m the thing under the monsters bed!” That was a great piece of humor in a horror story!
the last man got demon slayer on he's mind and barge into the hospital with a samurai sword getting he's ass eaten
This creepypasta would make an awesome horror game
Granny
SUPERB story, superbly read! The humor woven throughout was PERFECTLY showcased by the dry tone you gave the narration in those moments. The more I listen the more I'm blown away by your skill. Even when the story is only so-so to me (and this one was FANTASTIC!) YOU make it worth listening to. THANK YOU for what you do and have done since before I even knew what a creepypasta was!
Would love a part 2.
I like to imagine the monster was just standing there deadpan while Dwayne charged at it with a katana.
Don’t be like Dwayne, folks. 🤣
"stop that. you make me spill the coffee" 😆👍
Some of these *need* a part 2 and this is one of them.
This is hands down my favorite Creepsmcpasta story! Wish they would make these a series!
“I sat in my room, listening to creepypasta narrations on youtube”
I feel called out
Love this reading, you really add a very nice air to the story.
Can't wait until the next one!
Love to come back to this one. By far one of my favorite pasta on this channel. Love it.
This seems like the kinda thing where you create an urban legend about the building then the dumb kids supply themselves.
Him saying: 'I was the thing under the monsters bed' made me laugh so hard
We need someone to entertain the ST Luke's lurker. Have benefits and 401k. Must be quick witted and fleet of foot. Snacks will be provided. Well, if you screw up.
This definitely needs more parts 😛 I love it! Nicely written!
This is amazing, I'd love for another part in this!!!
Man I can't help but to relate. These kinds of jobs always come with that sense of purpose that overshadows that feeling of danger. It makes you want to keep doing it. The money is usually good too, sure, but the thrill of doing a job that you can't talk about, that's what it's all about.
Creeps you SOB thanks for the amazing narration and epic stories from such talented writers over the years I’ve watched u
I still come back to this story every now and then, pretty good one!
I have never been so amused and terrified at the same time!
This is my new favourite story.
I always love the stories that actually give a thorough ending and explanation.
One of my favorites. Thank you
This was a rollercoaster of emotions that was always engaging and at times funny. One of my favorite creepypastas
That was by far one of my favorite Creepypastas thank you very much
Night 2 I'm walking in the hospital with a huge radio blasting Ja Rule "What Would I Be Without You".
Best story I've heard in a long while! I love monsters! This one should be a series
This is by far one of the best stories I've ever heard, I love it
This was just incredible! Thank you! Absolutely loved it
Title’s got some awesome advice
amazing. best pasta i heard in a while.
This channel is explicit, it has and have kept me very much interested onto it. It's stories are quite.., expressive, the narrative is, too.. so excellent. His voice is far more interesting, suspecting, mysterious, calm but still it keeps the gloomy, dark sensation as the man read. I subscribed, that channel deserves to be supported. Excellent.
love coming back to this one its been a year since a last listend to this one, please bring more like this or a sequel of this one this story is perfection
Best story I've heard in ages. I wish there was a part 2...
creepypastas beginning by rules are nice. really.
Great story, and great work narrating!
$104,000/yr? Tempting.
Think most jobs have the rule of not dying on shift, just creates too much paperwork, you know?
I which your voice never changes it helps me fall asleep (I suffer from Insomnia) and hearing you tell stories helps me fall asleep. Thanks
That was a good one. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! By that I mean it's 3 AM and remained alert for the whole story.
Your thumbnails are always so cool lookin 👌