Num 3 for the ladies could have honed in a little more and listened actively rather than being a lil dismissive n listening to respond. Also, not to get on her case but when he reacted to her snuffing him, she should've given a quick apology. Num 1 for the guys is gona be a dynamite for the right woman.
Lesson Learnt: We often don't listen with an intent to learn but rather to respond. I felt that there were important truths that both sides may have dismissed while trying to defend their own positions. The gentleman in the beanie had plenty of constructive points that I appreciated.
💯% ... I wrote the same “review” ... the reason we (both men and women) aren’t winning at dating, is that we don’t know everything. The least we could do is be receptive of new information.
A concur! The woman in the black had more of an attitude toward #2, respect his prospective even if you do not agree, still, everyone can learn from one another.
Brandon Lee I think they need some more time to grow. The guy with the glasses is older and think he has been through more and seen more. He also seemed to be more accountable. He spoke so soft and eloquently. There was a peaceful presence when he spoke. He and the lady in the middle I think would be a good match. 😍😍😍😍
I think what’s missing in christian churches is mentorship. I think men and women would benefit greatly if they were intentionally mentored by someone older and wiser than themselves. (Not their friends! Lol) Shoutout to number #1 (male) he seems like a good catch. I think him and #2 (female) would make a good couple :)
Guy #1 I learned alot from him. Guy #1 should do a segment by himself just talking about Christian men's perspectives and experience as a single Christian man while searching for the one. He spits out wisdom and statements I never thought for myself. It really got me thinking alot as a woman Thank you for doing this dialogue! Thank you to all six candidates participating in this conversation
Sigh. I watched. In my opinion, the people who sound the most mature is the gentleman with the blazer wearing glasses and the young lady with the red hair. The lady in all black comes across a bit forceful. I could feel the frustration/annoyance at the guy in the middle #2, I think. A lot of maturing needs to happen before marriage. Trust!
Well this is exactly what I was about to type, lol. Alot of maturing need to take place, I had to fast forward multiple times just to watch. the sister in the all black was very childish even in her mannerism. This was a great concept, but I pray for better casting next time
@@christchild1711 I agree with you. Marriage is work, yall. HARD WORK. Of course maturation is individual and based on life/experiences. The only ones I could see ready to walk down that aisle is bro with the glasses and sis with the red hair.... albeit not necessarily with each other, lol.
NyleRiver we can point out which one was more mature than the other but they all had a reaction one more dramatic than the next. We don't take account of past experiences that may have triggered those reactions
I think we need to be careful as Christians to not be so hard on the opposite gender. Christian men and women are expecting perfection... a finished work almost. It seems like their standards are extremely high, almost unrealistic. I think that’s y most are still single.This has been very interesting. I will be back to comment some more.
I think this whole experiment was cool. But I noticed that when both the men and women asked each other, “why aren’t you married yet,” the men didn’t acknowledge any personal reasons they aren’t. They all said “Christian Women” are the problem. That was confusing.
You weren't listening then guy #3 gave many reasons why he wasn't ready. #1 and #2, both virgin men, are being cautious about settling down, they didn't have to take accountability if they were saving themselves for the right women.
“Not strong in her faith” or is “dealing with pride”.. I think these are the two (extreme) types of young men and women that you find in the church. Spot on. The dude in the beanie was dropping gems throughout! Thank you, brother! What I’ve learned is that it’s important to have these mixed conversations, we can learn so much from one another. Very insightful. It also reminds me of the importance of community and how grateful I am to be a part of one. Last thing, the importance of letting down pride; Proverbs 13:10 “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” The men brought this up a lot, how, often, women don’t want to take constructive criticism and correction from partners (maybe it’s the culture norms we are subconsciously following ), that may be something I am and many others are dealing with that needs correcting. I think the same can be said about men. Looking forward to the next season. Love from Toronto 🇨🇦
As a woman, one thing that has been solidified as a requirement for my future husband is teachability and humility. I’m in my twenties and fighting to believe that there are men in my age group who, though not currently as knowledgeable, communicative and gentle as #1, are as committed to life-long learning and discipleship as I am. Otherwise, i better get comfortable until i’m 35. #HelpUsJesus
we all need to be intentional with growing every aspect of our lives from the moment we can tell the difference between right and wrong. But like a lot of things in life, Time appreciates our vale/worth
I'm 27, it's love to get married one day but I'm comfortable now as a single, man. There shouldn't be a rush to get married. We should be committed fully to what God has called us all to do. All of those requirements that you mention come in time, and I'm sure one still would have to improve on those after marriage. This is a beautiful season let's build the most from it, while we are still single
Hi Ene. You're spot on about your requirements for your future husband. And no, you probably won't have to wait till you're 35. Just like our heavenly father has daughters like you, growing and learning to become all he's called them to be, he's also got sons like that too. He just calls us to trust him every step of the way and to speak forth our faith regardless of what we see in the physical.
There’s always room for improvement and growth , but sometimes I feel like some women /men have these expectations that they can’t even meet themselves.Humble yourself, deal with you first by allowing God to work on you . And remember that you are not the standard, Christ is.
I think as women, we don’t take constructive criticism well. I think as the men were trying their best to explain their point of view of dating and pursing and how frustrated they are to approach a “godly” woman who looks good on paper but is lack luster in her character that the women on this panel are taking it personally and are seemingly offended. Take it as something to consider and perhaps learn from. Are there issues with men in the church? Yessssss. But women, in general, have many platforms where we discuss these disparities then complain when we are not hearing from the men about these topics. It seems we are not listening to understand. We are hearing to defend ourselves. But kudos to everyone for talking through a tough conversation. I agree with the men. I don’t have an older woman training me, mentoring me or holding me accountable. I have a bunch of women my age who are trying their best to live by the word of God but it’s not the same. Dear women, let’s stop being so sensitive. Signed a woman who also struggles with offense. It’s okay to learn from your brothers in Christ. Men, not all women are the same. It’s okay to allow space for your generalizations to be broken. Lastly, if the shoe doesn’t fit and is not meant for you.... don’t wear it. You are all awesome!
Neither men or women were listening to each other. Each person seems like they were waiting to speak their peace. But didn’t seem like they were receiving the good points that EACH side was bringing
Although #2 (male) made me mad sometimes in the 1st video 🤣, I enjoyed the dialogue, especially in the 3rd video. You don't see this enough. To #1's final point, it is rare to have an equal number of Christian single women and single men in a room having a healthy dialogue. I've been to Singles Ministry meeting at my church twice, and the last time there were probably 50 plus women there and maybe 8 men. Women even outnumber the men in our Sunday School classes. It's discouraging for single Christian women (especially those of us in our late 30s and 40s) who desire marriage because you can begin to think negative thoughts that maybe marriage is not in God's plan for my life. But I was encouraged by the final dialogue.
I think both sides brought fair good points, but have to say you can't generalise to say ALL Christian women or ALL Christian men are like that, and at the same time it makes one take a look at themselves to be like, "Hey, hope I ain't like that though! And if so, change is coming, that is.... if I want it.'' Plus also to be honest with your friends if they are not acting right too! Iron sharpens iron. We have to help each other at the end of the day. Even if we don't like what we hear. Who said growth was pain free or easy, you gotta do the work. It's worth it. 🤷🏾♀️ Good Series by the way, thank you guys 😄🙌🙌 Big Up from London UK. Much love keep it up👏👏👍🙏🇬🇧💜
It has been interesting watching this series.... Something that I believe God has been putting on my heart is that as Christians and within our christian church culture at times we heap to much expectation on another. The same conversations and expectations I’ve seen in these videos happening in america is something I seen happening here in my church in Australia. I think we at time miss Gods intention for marriage because we get lost in the dating and choosing the person we want to be with. I believe we have turned christian dating into something else. Do not get me wrong Marriage is serious and we want to put a lot of prayer and consideration into our dating choices. In saying that I feel like singles don’t hear enough that when you are married it’s a continual journey of ‘working out your salvation’. Who U think u know dating changes when you hit marriage... you begin another journey of getting to know your spouse and yourself. God is who we need to press into heavily and in the ministry of marriage God calls you to humble your self and you learn to love as He does... we heap a lot of assumptions and judge and put people in boxes and Dating to fulfil ones desires of who we feel fills our boxes... I wonder if that’s what God plan was???
I like your thoughts. I think many Christians are hung up on picking this God fearing mate who checks off your boxes but, they will never live up to the measure you think they will. We are all flawed.
This series was great to watch. Thank you for the healthy thought provoking content. It’s great to see a couple married for a goooood amount of time desire to see those in waiting hash out valid issues on both sides. The one thing that I really appreciate about this is that the women have been forced to show the less shiny underdeveloped/broken pieces of their being. It’s refreshing to see men articulately express their dislikes and/or appropriately request/demand an explanation as to why Christian women’s mindsets are the way they are. God is not the task master/genie that puts back together again that which his/her decision making has destroyed. He isn’t soul mating removing ribs and closing flesh up presenting wives to men anymore. that was in the Bible. Now he will bless that which is equally yoked. Ppl we must as believers know what we are asking for. Please hear my heart. want or desire oftentimes breed fantasy vs. knowledge/research shaping/forming reality as we allow the word to wash and transform the soul of a man/woman. Ultimately beginning with yourself. Ladies we must better examine ourselves. Just because our faces are cute, tongues sharp, and mind is somewhat clear doesn’t make us righteous in all areas. Appreciate and welcome healthy observation/feedback from men who have dealt with us as women. This coming from a married woman who learned the hard way. Be slow to speak slow to anger and quick to listen.
Very thought-provoking questions and much needed open dialogue in the Christian community!! After listening to all three parts, I'd have to say a greater level of grace could've been extended on both sides. Only at the end did I feel both parties had more of a heart to understand rather than a mouth quick to respond or disagree. I believe with this deeper desire to understand one another-especially as representatives of Christ- we'll be able to grow into a healthier, more supportive community. I found this verse in Colossians 4:6, and it says, " Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person". This verse sums up beautifully what I mean to express in my previous comments. Additionally, Christian men and women must learn how to dispel the tainted generalizations based on personal experiences and allow the Holy Spirit to give us fresh eyes to see each individual for who they are- a child of God who is unique. No person is equivalent, despite possible similarities in demographic qualities and/or faith-based values. Based on the verbiage and phrasing in many of the responses, it seemed like there was a consistent clumping or homogenzing of the opposing sex. Thank you Azonwu family for creating this content! I pray the Lord continues to give you strategic insight and creativity moving forward in your projects. God bless🙏
I love what the men had to say and the women. Although homie in the middle was a bit ticked he’s right you have some men. He has some good points I just think his delivery for home girl in all black was not hitting right. Great point women are groomed for marriage and men are groomed to do whatever you want.. fire thats a bar. WHY ARE THESE VIDEOS SO SHORT.. bro an hour would suffice. Loved all the responses
I can listen to #1 from the men and #2 from the ladies ALL DAY! Very insightful individuals. Overall, love this experiment and the transparency from all the participants
I think some serious healing needs to go on when it comes to relating or having relationships they were talking to each other saying similar things, however, they still believed they were on two different sides they both want healed partners, we all need to do the work.
If pairing up to get to know each other more: Man #1 with Woman #2 Man #2 with Woman #3 Man #3 with Woman #1 Thank you for these segments. Communication is so important. It is refreshing to hear everyone's perspective.
I don't remember the #'s, lol. But girl in all black is NOT ready to be married. Sorry. Not sorry. She got to move through that" pettiness", she spoke about in herself.I know. Im married and God has had to cut that out of me. I'm still a work in process. That will not fly with an alpha man in marriage. Women you will need Longsuffering! Pettiness will destroy your marriage!
@@SH-vj2ce woman all black is #3, woman with red natural hair #2, woman with off shoulder shirt #1, man with blazer #1, man with brown coat #2 man with gray sweatsuit #3.
Girl with top knot bun has a naturally defensive personality which is not bad necessarily bad but in this instance she was saying everything to have a rebuttal not to actually listen and ultimately don’t nobody wanna be fussing with someone the rest of they life . The guy with beanie was speaking straight facts (Whenever Cyrus let him speak lol) and was very sophisticated. Overall, I think the guys were genuinely having playful banter. The 2nd girl recognized that as well and kept it light for them to keep the peace, I respect that.
I don't think that's fair to say about the woman with the top knot. Her responses and disposition were not unreasonable. People are allowed to be emotional and responsive to things, including things they find displeasing. Just because you sit there quietly and emotionless doesn't mean you're respectful either.
Child you are so right .....THAT is the woman in church that the men cheat on... whew this is a whole lesson ....she gotta get her nose out the sky and PAY ATTENTION...... this a representation of how the church can teach false narratives to BLACK WOMEN( cause in the white church they don’t agree with none of that foolishness she was talking )..... Lord this was good and annoying all at the same time lol
I like how number 3 said her “toxic” trait was being insensitive and empathetic to others and also wanting to just fix problems ASAP instead of waiting for it being an overthinks. I didn’t realize I was LITERALLY the same way. I too was raised in a “tell it like it is” black home so when I talk don’t necessarily consider other’s feelings. The scripture I will use to support this is Romans 15:1 ... we who are strong ought to patiently put up with the weaknesses of those who are not strong and not just please ourselves. I will also use James chapter 3 where it speaks on the real wisdom of God being characterized by not only living a holy life but also getting along w others and being gentle and reasonable and overflowing with mercy and blessings..... ty wonderful series I pray and long for entertainment like this in my new walk. God bless ....can’t wait for next season😊
I learned a lot about Christian dating. I didn’t realize the perception men have of Christian women. #1 was so wise. #2 should get a mentor so he can pick better women. His style may be attracting the wrong kind of women. No lie, I looked them all up and judged them just by their looks. After listening to the talks they all are pretty normal and humble. I learned new perspectives from both sides. Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5 Always be joyful. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Pray without ceasing. To make sure your selection the right person for marriage. 1Corinthians 13:4 Love is kind, patient. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud. Love your neighbors as yourself. Colossians 3:13 make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Accountability means pointing the finger back on yourself. You can't say the other person is not accountable unless you are pointing back at yourself. Men can't just say women aren't if they aren't pointing back to themselves and vice versa. The number 2 guy hasn't been transparent about anything about himself but hasn't said anything about himself. Let's stop talking about each other and talk about yourself. It's easy to be judgmental.
While I agree. I think he was answering the question honestly. Some women got low key mad when he made that statement, but its true. Women need accountability. Men need accountability.
@@kellya3162 the number 2 female said it. She said that her partner held himself accountable and said that he wasn't ready for her and that's why her relationship ended. But I'm guessing that's fine because men should lead so he led himself out the way
As a Christian woman watching each episode, I learned we know more of these conversations with guidance from Christian married couples. Christian men and women would understand each other better by gathering in a setting, which allows equity of voice (brave space). We need to rise as above the issues singles in the Kingdom of a God is having. We need to do better. Prior to watching, I sought out an older married woman in my church who I can be accountable to (mainly for my mindset) being that I’m divorced ( married prior to receiving Jesus). Proverbs 31 the entire chapter is excellent for men and women. Please produce more videos.
Donna Simone yes I agree! I’m single and would love to have the man God has for me rn but I’m grateful that he has brung me the resources to further learn so I can be fully ready for what he has in store
#2’s apology - please, let us learn to apologize in a way that doesn’t place the emphasis on the other person for being offended rather than on us for offending them. ‘I’m sorry IF I offend you’ isn’t a good apology. ‘I’m sorry THAT I offended you’ is. ✌🏾
Like, we need another episode to unpack what he said, cos it's a real issue. And the funny thing is, at the heart of it might be subconscious choices that many of us in the Christian community are making that we're not consciously aware of.
Great episode. Good to see healthy dialogue from both sides. Some things need it be addressed some more. More mentorship for men. I fee like most Christian/saved women are likely to get healed/ get therapy and be accountable table than Christian/ saved men. We need more 👏🏾👏🏾 to the Azonwus! #naijaforlife
This was great hearing the male perspective. As a believer I see that we have some work to do, even outside of marriage. The root of this issue is the true relationship we have with God.
Listen to UNDERSTAND! Not through the lens of pain, frustration, and "typical." Community is important. Healing takes place when you have a healthy assessment of self from the perspective of both (men and women). HEAL! HEAL! HEAL! Please.
Freke is absolutely right. At least for me. I desire accountability from older women...I believe my life would change dramatically with that. That being said, i am held accountable by my friends, and my church, but I definitely desire more.
I love this...challenge us in our faith and christian dating!! Honestly that really is something to think about...you can have the same amount of christian single women and men in the same room and they not want each other. If we start first just trying to get to know others as just friends first and look at their heart then maybe we might find someone we would actually like mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Watching how people carry themselves in the kingdom in relationship with others can give you insight on who the individual is. Then if God is telling you to act on your feelings or go for it and get to know them be free to do it. Sometimes it takes walking in faith and taking that risk.
Ouff! That last question was like a bomb and it's actually the real thing we should question about...For the second question, I'll try a possible solution and say being able to be true to ourselves and this whole accountability thing is the beginning, just like true repentance leads to that amazing relationship with Christ. I feel like we are ready to identify our flaws but we are not as ready to admit how they blind us and how they have an incredible impact on the other person. And because of that, we lack the transparency needed to bring forth the necessary change in us accordingly to God's Word, we miss on the grace from others that we so desperately need and we keep growing our pride and have a discourse filled with a sense of entitlement that blinds us even more. I feel like on both christian men and women side, we could indeed afford some more accountability.
This and the 3 parts that preceeded this was 🔥. As always, appreciate the relevant content Azonwus! As a Christ-led woman, I can see both sides but I agreed more so with the men, especially the piece about women & accountability. Speaking only for myself, I see the difference between BEFORE when I spent so much time in college & post-college Christian communities "thinking" I was where I should be or "thinking" I knew what needed to be worked on but in reality I had a lot of blindspots. I mistook certain criticisms, resistances and irritants, from both men & women, as warning signs of conflict that I didn't want to bother to engage in (especially if the delivery and tone it was packaged in was off) because I was conflict-avoidant. NOW after some counseling, discovering hidden traumas and how that's impacted my childhood & adulthood I realize that it was pride, a tool utilized by the enemy to keep me from the blessing of submission and correction that comes from a pure place. I think perhaps the reason for the lack of awareness and acknowledgement for not having depth in accountability relationships is because faith and real relationship with God is new for a lot of us. So maybe we fear any threat to the stability that we have in that area, even if that threat is needed to dismantle a broken belief system and shed a light on the critter of pride that's really like a tapeworm in our minds and bodies stealing so much of the nutrients that are meant to nourish us. I haven't engaged with many women or men on the topic of relationships & dating, so I'm not sure where they stand on this or whether or not they share the same sentiment. This really is just my thought, from the outside (of myself) looking in. Answer to the second to last question: It was confirmed through this video that I MUST continue to invest in self-awareness, self-growth, and communication. The first is really key. If I know myself in AND out of Christ then I can better proceed. I won't be so offended because I can know (after consulting the Holy Spirit) what is for me and what is not. I can know whether something that's said to me is coming from someone's flesh or the Spirit. Because people are people, just like me. They can't be expected to not succumb to the wiles of the enemy because that's just not realistic. And so sometimes they, people, don't even know themselves of where (specifically through which spirit) what they're saying is coming from. God is the only reliable source for confirmation of the stimuli we take in. So in short, I have to seek God first by starting at "home" (knowing Him and myself) and the rest will be added. 2 Timothy 4:2-5 is a great verse that speaks on how we are to look upon & regard teachings or constructive criticism. Sometimes we associate teachings with only pastors and "leaders" and relegate constructive criticism from those around us but they're one in the same and they're equal in rank. Someone having access to a platform DOES NOT mean the content that they deliver is of higher importance/ more relevant OR that they are special and so used by God more OR that they are trustworthy & reliable because they have a following/ audience. Those people who have "influence," defined by the world, are no different from friends, family, spouses, potential spouses and strangers. God can use them, socially distant influencers, just as much as they can use someone right next to us. It's our attitude and willingness to receive God's intended message that most matters. We may be blocking our blessings if we don't accept them on the "platform" He's trying to deliver it on. Just a thought🤔 Going back to why I share the verse as it relates to the question, the flesh will fight back the Truth (as it's the nature of flesh). We can be under the self-deception (of pride) telling ourselves it's God or the Spirit telling us to resist, fly, or fight but it really just isn't. So it's of crucial importance that I ask God to sober me, renew my mind, and help me to consult Him in EVERYTHING so that I'm not manipulated, especially by the self-deceived Christian.
I agree with some of the comments I think as women it taught me we make assumptions instead of taking it exactly how they delivered it or asked for clarity. The answers were from their experience but they applied their answers from the women they dated to defend all women! I also appreciate the men being able to acknowledge the need for sensibility and when to apologize but as women we need to accept that and move on. #1 (woman) my sis kept rubbing it in and she didn’t appear open to learning and listening to the heart and intent of what they were saying and who they meant it for. It shows me how important it is to also not be in the middle when it comes to questions like these because it makes it harder to communicate our feelings stance and what we need from the one we’re dating. Scripture I would use would be quick to listen and slow to speak and keeping no records of wrongs. I understand my sisters as I am also working to not be defensive and quick to speak! It shows how both men and women have to know who’s speaking meaning is it their experience; God; trauma; the enemy (like with peter); etc. So we can appropriately respond. I loved this y’all! Keep up the great work big bro and sis in Christ !
Thank you for this series and I would like to see more. My greatest takeaway is to deal with self first in all honesty and vulnerability; I find that I haven't even expressly identified to myself my toxic traits though I might have scarcely thought about it in my head. Yet, I can now say without a doubt that certain unhealthy traits has costed me a really ugly and life changing relationship. Secondly, recognise a real man of God...of course with discernment from the Holy Spirit. You need Him to make the right choice cos our understanding is limited and trust! He reveals stuff people be tryna conceal!
At the end of the day,we should try to give allowances for peoples short comings. Christian men and women are still people, we are still learning and growing in our work with the Lord and in our lives. No. 1 for the guys was real mature and kind. A great communicator if I might add. Good job guys and God bless!.🤗
I loved the discussion about accountability. Accountability is important bc it ultimately makes you as an individual better. I also loved when #3 was describing why its difficult or it seems like a man of faith is not stepping to a woman. I have a new appreciation. They want to step to Christian woman correctly and I respect that
When number 1 from the guys said it isn’t uncommon to fill a room with both men and women of faith and for them not to want on another, I felt that... here ➡️❤️... we definitely need more of these please. These are legit out social and dating lives as Christians. The assumptions and misconceptions... and I feel we could all learn something if we’re receptive of information and not constantly try to defend our positions. Great series
I like that they had the face off and that this conversation went on. As a Christian woman I will not class myself with other Christian ladies because we are so different in our views even though we are supposed to have godly standards the what works for Peter doesn't work for Paul saying applies. There is alot of broken expectations especially when dating in the church that pretty much stems from unrealistic expectations that a Christian man is the perfect man or vice versa. So much emphasis is put on preparing the women to be the "Godly woman" that most times the men go unchallenged and educated on what they are expected to uphold as Christian men. The gap is far to wide and many times a common ground is not reached! This was refreshing and real. I'm checking myself!!!
To answer y'all questions. I learned that or rather realized that I don't have the necessary accountability in my life. I also don't have older women I can look up to for sound advice. I don't know any personally let alone christian. That's why I watch videos where I can learn some things and still kinda have that what I lack. I wish I could do it differently tho.. Chr men en women can understand each other better by listening with the intent to hear and not just respond or defend their answers. Esp women. Also we need to have a more open mind to understand each other better. And when we want to say something we have to think first then respond accordingly to avoid just saying things. What I would like to apply is accountability but I would have to pray to God to send some my way. That's the only option I think. But not for dating sake alone. You can benefit from it for multiple reasons other than dating. That's all I can think of for now. 1 kor 16:13 1 Peter 3:15 proverbs 18:9 col 3:17
I want to thank 'The Azonwus' for putting out such great content. The last statement made by Male #1 hit home so much. My church is one that advocates marrying people in the church due to plenty of reasons. I just wish I could cut it and put it on my church page for discussion. Please put in all that you cut out so we can have the full picture. Thank you
These men all spoke eloquently and had good points that were worth listening to as women. As a woman I agree we can sometimes get offended and defensive a little too quickly. Listening for the heart and intention is vital. I enjoyed this very much.
This was a great series to watch although it was unconformable to watch at some point due to the conflict. It proves that Christian men and women need to have more constructive conversations without the pressure of knowing if the other person will be your spouse. A little side note: Single Christians should steer away from generalizing when dealing with the opposite sex. Everyone's dating history is different, and their story is equally unique. Also bear in mind that the Holy spirit still orders our steps especially when it comes to relationships ( not in a creepy audible voice way but in a way that unique to us and our relationship with Jesus) but I fear our generation is too distracted to be sensitive to He is leading. Have fun, meet and engage with people but most importantly "watch and pray."
Great series & convo! Much needed for singles, christian or not.... 🙌🏽 thank you ❤️ we don’t always have to agree but we can still gain knowledge on other perspectives and learn how to effectively communicate with those of the opposite sex ultimately whether we decide to date then or not. Appreciating all experiences as one’s truth
This was a great series! This kind of healthy dialogue needs to become norm. I learnt a lot from both. I felt like at different points both the men and women tried to give the right answer instead of the truth, though I could be wrong. I imagine it wasn't easy to be as vulnerable as they were with strangers and on camera but they handled it well.
This series was interesting for so many reasons. Man #1 was dropping some nuggets and seems to understand what accountability actually is. I agree with #2 on the male side that the company you surround yourself with should be able to hold you accountable however, accountability by nature is introspective and requires a level of honesty and responsibility to self. At the end of the day, someone else can’t make you be accountable. Even if they point out things you should be accountable for, You still have to do the work! I definitely agree with #2 (ladies) response to the soulmate question! I also believe that God brings two ppl together for the sake of building His kingdom! You can be compatible with many and those ppl still not be a suitable mate!
I'll answer questions 1 and 2: 1. I found the men were un-genuine. They were one way when their backs were turned from the women, and completely another when they were sitting in front of them. The women however behaved the same when their backs were turned and when they were in front of the men. 2. Learn how to better communicate, and communicate effectively. However, to also "listen" to what the other person is saying, having help from the Holy Spirit to reveal what they may be stating even when they may not be saying it the way in which we would convey it. It's one thing to hear someone, it's another to actually "listen" to what they are saying.
Wow I learnt a lot from how guys percieved women (based on their social context), their personal experiences, etc. The thing I was surprised by with was how guy 2 and guy 3 was okay with the idea of body enhancement...I wondered how that fit into good stewardship and magnifying God with our bodies? No judgement, just observation 😊. Thoroughly enjoyed listening to guy 1; such a pleasant and calm demeanor, well at least that's what was observed on camera😅. Well done to the other gentlemen. God bless you guys and gals, I hope you all meet a wonderful help mate one day. Much grace much peace!🇿🇦
Will be interested to see if it's the same story in the UK Christian Church. I was raised to get a good education and get a good job, don't mess with boys. Then all of sudden at 25, they are asking me where's your husband? Well, I was out here bettering myself, and I'm made to feel bad for pursuing career development and doing Kingdom work. I am turning 31 in a couple of weeks and never been in a relationship so I am always reading and watching to gain knowledge. But you know what I feel that God has taught me, especially during this Quarantine. Seek him first. Seek God first he is your father, seek God first he is your friend, seek God first he is your comforter... and all those other desires (job, a blessed relationship that leads to marriage, children,) will be added onto you(in due time). The wait isn't going to be easy but the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, and he hasn't forgotten about me. And I know for that lonely, single person out there, those words may have been repeated to you many times and they are just dead now. tbh I feel that sometimes. We have our moments of weakness and doubts, we're only human. Even Jesus did. We need to daily renew our faith, do that Ciara prayer every day. :). Look at what God has given you in your hand right now and don't take that for granted. Sorry for the essay.
I grew up with a lot of women and/or a lack of men and guy friends. Now i'm totally anxious and clueless on how to navigate with friend or romantic relationship with men. Like genuine ones. Their are topic where i'm feel like a messs🤣 And I recognize the importance of having older pius women friends and guy friends to help figure things out. And really rely on God, because His promises are not lies.
This was a good conversation throughput the various segments. Ultimately I think guy #1 hit it on the head with the closing comment about Christian men and women filling a room in equal proportion but at the end of the day none of them want each other. Maybe that’s the real issue, but why is that ? 🤷🏾♀️ That could be a series by itself.
I think it is the expectations that are there. A little bit of a double standard. And I think a level of the misunderstanding of what marriage actually is. Prayerfully God heals and removes all ideology so true relationships can take place.
I enjoyed watching this mini series. Take away: we have to learn to communicate more effectively so that the listener understands our intent. I would’ve liked to see more resolution. It feels like people left with the feeling of judgment and disagreement and still steadfast in their views. Maybe with more open-minded individuals. Still a nice opportunity and a pleasurable watch! 😊
The last line is so true ! The church I got saved at had a lot of singles and after leaving I could never wrap my head around why there were so many singles in the church seeking marriage but hardly any of them considered dating each other .
My response to the question at the end of the video is, God has given us all things to enjoy.. including the process of meeting new single Christians. Don’t stress out on the flaws, we can encourage each other in our faith-walk. Marriage is just one of the many blessings He has given. 🙏
First, people need to understand that it is not easy to be vulnerable with complete strangers. There is no perfect answer, like this is just an open dialogue that was refreshing to hear amongst believers because we dont typically hear each other’s perspectives especially men we just be ranting to our home girls😂 Secondly, people are bashing their personalities and there were flaws in some of the answers but can any of us honestly say we would answer better or worst lol like come on. This was a good dialogue and looking forward to more. More questions and more perspectives.
These men still refuse to accept that they are the common denominator. the type of women that keep getting are the ones that they are attracted to. They don't seem to get it. I guess it'll take a little more maturity.
I think many Christian folks are not transparent. Some don’t know their growth areas because in the church they’re so active that they feel untouchable. I was that way until I talked to more married folks. Yes the congregation will praise you for being active and being such a nice Christian man/woman and working with the young people, but you still have growing to do. Also, when you’re single for a long time, sometimes you’re still immature when it comes to relationships because you haven’t dealt with them.
Accountability is not something that you can get , but something you take on yourself.It means you are willing to evaluate you actions and your reason behind those actions , instead of trying to blame them on someone else.
number 1 reasoning was really mature, well constructed and profound. All the answers were well reasoned and this is a free lesson to a better outcome and a more meaningful dating.
Wauw the last statement of the guy with the glasses really blew my mind 🔥🔥 Needed to rewind it a view times. Love his perspective and learned a lot from it.
What I took away from this series is that communication is still the key to a successful relationship. Whether it's exercising listening skills or verbalizing feelings/needs to your partner (not friends and family). And when someone corrects you or holds you accountable for your actions/words, you have to be willing to consider what they said, instead of becoming defensive. And if two people can't work that out, they should consider a 3rd party (counselor) to help them communicate.
This was fun to watch!! I’d watch more with a different crew!! But number two from the guys can catch these hands lol I heard nothing else out of his mouth after he blamed women for HIM being single. Sounded like he wasn’t accountable himself! 🤷🏽♀️ Other than that it was a joy to see healthy conversation.
This is why i believe that single ministries are very important, because itv would allow for both men & women to learn about themselves first as they grow in Christ during thier singleness, and than as the Kingdom man pursues the kingdom woman they will both have purpose and there will be no confusion..
Whew I learned some things with this. I am now at the point of my life where yes I am waiting on God but I am actively dating. I don’t waste time though. I’m dating with purpose and a plan. But number 2! We read sir! Lol. He was funny.
I love how calculated and respectful number 1 for the guys is. He speaks with the most maturity and he seems more accountable.
Amen
Yeah he is
100% agree
Num 3 for the ladies could have honed in a little more and listened actively rather than being a lil dismissive n listening to respond. Also, not to get on her case but when he reacted to her snuffing him, she should've given a quick apology. Num 1 for the guys is gona be a dynamite for the right woman.
Age
Lesson Learnt: We often don't listen with an intent to learn but rather to respond. I felt that there were important truths that both sides may have dismissed while trying to defend their own positions.
The gentleman in the beanie had plenty of constructive points that I appreciated.
Nombulelo Moyo I agree
💯% ... I wrote the same “review” ... the reason we (both men and women) aren’t winning at dating, is that we don’t know everything. The least we could do is be receptive of new information.
A concur! The woman in the black had more of an attitude toward #2, respect his prospective even if you do not agree, still, everyone can learn from one another.
The guy with the glasses is seasoned and ready. He is pure gold!!! Any woman who gets him is surely a blessed woman
Latisha Williams what about the other 2?
Brandon Lee I think they need some more time to grow. The guy with the glasses is older and think he has been through more and seen more. He also seemed to be more accountable. He spoke so soft and eloquently. There was a peaceful presence when he spoke. He and the lady in the middle I think would be a good match. 😍😍😍😍
Latisha Williams why you trying to play matchmaker 😂
Brandon Lee Lol I am single too 😂😂😂😂 if they don’t match
Latisha Williams 🤣🤣🤣
I believe as Christians women, we can do a better job of listening and men can do a better job of hearing.
Latiffany H 🙌🏾for real
I totally agree. And all can do a better job not getting offended when a different perspective is revealed.
I think what’s missing in christian churches is mentorship. I think men and women would benefit greatly if they were intentionally mentored by someone older and wiser than themselves. (Not their friends! Lol)
Shoutout to number #1 (male) he seems like a good catch. I think him and #2 (female) would make a good couple :)
Agreed!!
Yes!!!!!!!! Cause Borley needs it. Seriously.
I think what is lacking is humility and teachable spirit. There are many mentors.
That's what I was thinking, I hope they go on at least one date just to see if there's something there.
I said the same thing ! 💗
Guy #1 I learned alot from him.
Guy #1 should do a segment by himself just talking about Christian men's perspectives and experience as a single Christian man while searching for the one. He spits out wisdom and statements I never thought for myself. It really got me thinking alot as a woman
Thank you for doing this dialogue!
Thank you to all six candidates participating in this conversation
AGREE AGREE AGREE!
Yup. Number 1 was really measured in his responses.
💯
I agree
AGREEEE where E at? At least do a IG LIVE WITH HIM! Or something lol
Sigh. I watched. In my opinion, the people who sound the most mature is the gentleman with the blazer wearing glasses and the young lady with the red hair. The lady in all black comes across a bit forceful. I could feel the frustration/annoyance at the guy in the middle #2, I think. A lot of maturing needs to happen before marriage. Trust!
Well this is exactly what I was about to type, lol. Alot of maturing need to take place, I had to fast forward multiple times just to watch. the sister in the all black was very childish even in her mannerism. This was a great concept, but I pray for better casting next time
@@christchild1711 I agree with you. Marriage is work, yall. HARD WORK. Of course maturation is individual and based on life/experiences. The only ones I could see ready to walk down that aisle is bro with the glasses and sis with the red hair.... albeit not necessarily with each other, lol.
@NyleRiver I hear you. #2 is def immature. However, she is still in charge of her demeanor. Both of them were off putting.
NyleRiver we can point out which one was more mature than the other but they all had a reaction one more dramatic than the next. We don't take account of past experiences that may have triggered those reactions
@NyleRiver I definitely agree with you. Bro with the sweats on is all over the place. Bro with the glasses seemed the most mature and level headed.
I think we need to be careful as Christians to not be so hard on the opposite gender. Christian men and women are expecting perfection... a finished work almost. It seems like their standards are extremely high, almost unrealistic. I think that’s y most are still single.This has been very interesting. I will be back to comment some more.
Only Christ is perfection. We can't do anything without Him
Definitely agree
Totally agree. And Christ is perfection yet we live in a fallen world. Where we disobey truth. And we believe lies so mentorship is helpful
Perfection is not a must but knowing faults and wanting to grow is
I feel expecting perfection is in some way a lack of maturity
Dude wit the glasses is the most mature.
Rightttt.... He would have definitely been my pick.
I agree. #3 very honest. #2 needs time 🤣 and life to happen a bit😂
Agreed!!!!! Loved his vibe. The most mature in this forum.
I think this whole experiment was cool. But I noticed that when both the men and women asked each other, “why aren’t you married yet,” the men didn’t acknowledge any personal reasons they aren’t. They all said “Christian Women” are the problem. That was confusing.
I thought the same thing.
I thought the same thing too. They gave reasonable responses but I wondered if they were being totally honest or holding back?
You weren't listening then guy #3 gave many reasons why he wasn't ready.
#1 and #2, both virgin men, are being cautious about settling down, they didn't have to take accountability if they were saving themselves for the right women.
Sooooo is the brotha with the glasses still single? He like black women? ....asking for a friend
Beauty for Ashes go on the show sista 💛
Beauty for Ashes 😂
🤣🤣🤣
Ikr
Right!
The dude with the glasses was the most mature. ( coming from a male perspective)
“Not strong in her faith” or is “dealing with pride”.. I think these are the two (extreme) types of young men and women that you find in the church. Spot on.
The dude in the beanie was dropping gems throughout! Thank you, brother!
What I’ve learned is that it’s important to have these mixed conversations, we can learn so much from one another. Very insightful. It also reminds me of the importance of community and how grateful I am to be a part of one. Last thing, the importance of letting down pride; Proverbs 13:10 “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” The men brought this up a lot, how, often, women don’t want to take constructive criticism and correction from partners (maybe it’s the culture norms we are subconsciously following ), that may be something I am and many others are dealing with that needs correcting. I think the same can be said about men.
Looking forward to the next season.
Love from Toronto 🇨🇦
These have been so fun to watch! We definitely need to promote building healthier communication in relationships 👌🏾
That very last statement was all the truth and a big part of why this experiments is even happening! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Cyrus needs to learn to allow space for others to voice their thoughts.
Yes, Cyrus... I know you will. 😊
Who is cyrus. Number what?
I am Sapphire 3
He’s cool but definitely rambles on a bit smh
I thought it was just me.. man he talked 90% of the times.. pause brah, let the others talk too
These are healthy conversations. People are way too sensitive. It's okay to be honest.
As a woman, one thing that has been solidified as a requirement for my future husband is teachability and humility. I’m in my twenties and fighting to believe that there are men in my age group who, though not currently as knowledgeable, communicative and gentle as #1, are as committed to life-long learning and discipleship as I am. Otherwise, i better get comfortable until i’m 35. #HelpUsJesus
I completely agree. It's crazy....I wish that guys our age had his maturity and humility...he looks so familiar for some reason...idk why lol.
we all need to be intentional with growing every aspect of our lives from the moment we can tell the difference between right and wrong. But like a lot of things in life, Time appreciates our vale/worth
I'm 27, it's love to get married one day but I'm comfortable now as a single, man. There shouldn't be a rush to get married. We should be committed fully to what God has called us all to do. All of those requirements that you mention come in time, and I'm sure one still would have to improve on those after marriage. This is a beautiful season let's build the most from it, while we are still single
@Ene This was a great comment. You are very sound for someone ur age.
Hi Ene. You're spot on about your requirements for your future husband. And no, you probably won't have to wait till you're 35. Just like our heavenly father has daughters like you, growing and learning to become all he's called them to be, he's also got sons like that too. He just calls us to trust him every step of the way and to speak forth our faith regardless of what we see in the physical.
There’s always room for improvement and growth , but sometimes I feel like some women /men have these expectations that they can’t even meet themselves.Humble yourself, deal with you first by allowing God to work on you . And remember that you are not the standard, Christ is.
I think as women, we don’t take constructive criticism well. I think as the men were trying their best to explain their point of view of dating and pursing and how frustrated they are to approach a “godly” woman who looks good on paper but is lack luster in her character that the women on this panel are taking it personally and are seemingly offended. Take it as something to consider and perhaps learn from. Are there issues with men in the church? Yessssss. But women, in general, have many platforms where we discuss these disparities then complain when we are not hearing from the men about these topics. It seems we are not listening to understand. We are hearing to defend ourselves. But kudos to everyone for talking through a tough conversation. I agree with the men. I don’t have an older woman training me, mentoring me or holding me accountable. I have a bunch of women my age who are trying their best to live by the word of God but it’s not the same. Dear women, let’s stop being so sensitive. Signed a woman who also struggles with offense. It’s okay to learn from your brothers in Christ. Men, not all women are the same. It’s okay to allow space for your generalizations to be broken. Lastly, if the shoe doesn’t fit and is not meant for you.... don’t wear it. You are all awesome!
T'keyah Dennis Yes, good points!
Chanel Anderson thank you!
The last comment/statement... Jesus! 🎯
Said with firm conviction. My takeaway: know your value, don't waste time, don't settle. Great segments
Neither men or women were listening to each other. Each person seems like they were waiting to speak their peace. But didn’t seem like they were receiving the good points that EACH side was bringing
The guy with the glasses...he need his own show cause he telling the truth!!!!
Although #2 (male) made me mad sometimes in the 1st video 🤣, I enjoyed the dialogue, especially in the 3rd video. You don't see this enough. To #1's final point, it is rare to have an equal number of Christian single women and single men in a room having a healthy dialogue. I've been to Singles Ministry meeting at my church twice, and the last time there were probably 50 plus women there and maybe 8 men. Women even outnumber the men in our Sunday School classes. It's discouraging for single Christian women (especially those of us in our late 30s and 40s) who desire marriage because you can begin to think negative thoughts that maybe marriage is not in God's plan for my life. But I was encouraged by the final dialogue.
I think both sides brought fair good points, but have to say you can't generalise to say ALL Christian women or ALL Christian men are like that, and at the same time it makes one take a look at themselves to be like, "Hey, hope I ain't like that though! And if so, change is coming, that is.... if I want it.'' Plus also to be honest with your friends if they are not acting right too! Iron sharpens iron. We have to help each other at the end of the day. Even if we don't like what we hear. Who said growth was pain free or easy, you gotta do the work. It's worth it. 🤷🏾♀️ Good Series by the way, thank you guys 😄🙌🙌 Big Up from London UK. Much love keep it up👏👏👍🙏🇬🇧💜
It has been interesting watching this series.... Something that I believe God has been putting on my heart is that as Christians and within our christian church culture at times we heap to much expectation on another. The same conversations and expectations I’ve seen in these videos happening in america is something I seen happening here in my church in Australia. I think we at time miss Gods intention for marriage because we get lost in the dating and choosing the person we want to be with. I believe we have turned christian dating into something else. Do not get me wrong Marriage is serious and we want to put a lot of prayer and consideration into our dating choices. In saying that I feel like singles don’t hear enough that when you are married it’s a continual journey of ‘working out your salvation’. Who U think u know dating changes when you hit marriage... you begin another journey of getting to know your spouse and yourself. God is who we need to press into heavily and in the ministry of marriage God calls you to humble your self and you learn to love as He does... we heap a lot of assumptions and judge and put people in boxes and Dating to fulfil ones desires of who we feel fills our boxes... I wonder if that’s what God plan was???
I agree. It's hard...there have been articles written that explain how important the person you marry is....it's tough.
I like your thoughts. I think many Christians are hung up on picking this God fearing mate who checks off your boxes but, they will never live up to the measure you think they will. We are all flawed.
This series was great to watch. Thank you for the healthy thought provoking content.
It’s great to see a couple married for a goooood amount of time desire to see those in waiting hash out valid issues on both sides.
The one thing that I really appreciate about this is that the women have been forced to show the less shiny underdeveloped/broken pieces of their being. It’s refreshing to see men articulately express their dislikes and/or appropriately request/demand an explanation as to why Christian women’s mindsets are the way they are.
God is not the task master/genie that puts back together again that which his/her decision making has destroyed. He isn’t soul mating removing ribs and closing flesh up presenting wives to men anymore. that was in the Bible. Now he will bless that which is equally yoked. Ppl we must as believers know what we are asking for.
Please hear my heart. want or desire oftentimes breed fantasy vs. knowledge/research shaping/forming reality as we allow the word to wash and transform the soul of a man/woman. Ultimately beginning with yourself.
Ladies we must better examine ourselves. Just because our faces are cute, tongues sharp, and mind is somewhat clear doesn’t make us righteous in all areas. Appreciate and welcome healthy observation/feedback from men who have dealt with us as women.
This coming from a married woman who learned the hard way. Be slow to speak slow to anger and quick to listen.
The only thing I didn't like about these episodes is that they weren't long enough. Lbs Especially this one. Great discussion though!
Very thought-provoking questions and much needed open dialogue in the Christian community!! After listening to all three parts, I'd have to say a greater level of grace could've been extended on both sides. Only at the end did I feel both parties had more of a heart to understand rather than a mouth quick to respond or disagree. I believe with this deeper desire to understand one another-especially as representatives of Christ- we'll be able to grow into a healthier, more supportive community. I found this verse in Colossians 4:6, and it says, " Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person". This verse sums up beautifully what I mean to express in my previous comments. Additionally, Christian men and women must learn how to dispel the tainted generalizations based on personal experiences and allow the Holy Spirit to give us fresh eyes to see each individual for who they are- a child of God who is unique. No person is equivalent, despite possible similarities in demographic qualities and/or faith-based values. Based on the verbiage and phrasing in many of the responses, it seemed like there was a consistent clumping or homogenzing of the opposing sex.
Thank you Azonwu family for creating this content! I pray the Lord continues to give you strategic insight and creativity moving forward in your projects. God bless🙏
Number three had his keys in his hand he was ret-ta-go! lol He said "enough!" (in my kevonstage voice).
I was thinking the same! Lol
Loves the series, I wished the face off lasted longer!!! The last point was sad but true. Is that the entire face off?
I love what the men had to say and the women. Although homie in the middle was a bit ticked he’s right you have some men. He has some good points I just think his delivery for home girl in all black was not hitting right. Great point women are groomed for marriage and men are groomed to do whatever you want.. fire thats a bar. WHY ARE THESE VIDEOS SO SHORT.. bro an hour would suffice. Loved all the responses
I can listen to #1 from the men and #2 from the ladies ALL DAY! Very insightful individuals. Overall, love this experiment and the transparency from all the participants
I think some serious healing needs to go on when it comes to relating or having relationships they were talking to each other saying similar things, however, they still believed they were on two different sides they both want healed partners, we all need to do the work.
Please bring this back I really would love to see more of these!
If pairing up to get to know each other more:
Man #1 with Woman #2
Man #2 with Woman #3
Man #3 with Woman #1
Thank you for these segments. Communication is so important. It is refreshing to hear everyone's perspective.
@Cocomangoroti No no no...if pairing:
Man #1 with Woman #2
Man #2 with Woman #3
Man #3 with Woman #1
@@HoneyBee4163 correct, thank you.
I don't remember the #'s, lol. But girl in all black is NOT ready to be married. Sorry. Not sorry. She got to move through that" pettiness", she spoke about in herself.I know. Im married and God has had to cut that out of me. I'm still a work in process. That will not fly with an alpha man in marriage. Women you will need Longsuffering! Pettiness will destroy your marriage!
@@SH-vj2ce woman all black is #3, woman with red natural hair #2, woman with off shoulder shirt #1, man with blazer #1, man with brown coat #2 man with gray sweatsuit #3.
@@Cocomangoroti Thank you.
Girl with top knot bun has a naturally defensive personality which is not bad necessarily bad but in this instance she was saying everything to have a rebuttal not to actually listen and ultimately don’t nobody wanna be fussing with someone the rest of they life . The guy with beanie was speaking straight facts (Whenever Cyrus let him speak lol) and was very sophisticated. Overall, I think the guys were genuinely having playful banter. The 2nd girl recognized that as well and kept it light for them to keep the peace, I respect that.
👏👏👏👏👏 Yes! I concur!
I don't think that's fair to say about the woman with the top knot. Her responses and disposition were not unreasonable. People are allowed to be emotional and responsive to things, including things they find displeasing. Just because you sit there quietly and emotionless doesn't mean you're respectful either.
Child you are so right .....THAT is the woman in church that the men cheat on... whew this is a whole lesson ....she gotta get her nose out the sky and PAY ATTENTION...... this a representation of how the church can teach false narratives to BLACK WOMEN( cause in the white church they don’t agree with none of that foolishness she was talking )..... Lord this was good and annoying all at the same time lol
I loved the series . Sending love from Haiti!!!!
I like how number 3 said her “toxic” trait was being insensitive and empathetic to others and also wanting to just fix problems ASAP instead of waiting for it being an overthinks. I didn’t realize I was LITERALLY the same way. I too was raised in a “tell it like it is” black home so when I talk don’t necessarily consider other’s feelings. The scripture I will use to support this is Romans 15:1 ... we who are strong ought to patiently put up with the weaknesses of those who are not strong and not just please ourselves. I will also use James chapter 3 where it speaks on the real wisdom of God being characterized by not only living a holy life but also getting along w others and being gentle and reasonable and overflowing with mercy and blessings..... ty wonderful series I pray and long for entertainment like this in my new walk. God bless ....can’t wait for next season😊
That last statement!!! Wow. Soooo true.
I know! I felt it.
Yesss right
Woah..... how yall just gonna end it with that statement tho lol. This was a dope series!
I learned a lot about Christian dating. I didn’t realize the perception men have of Christian women.
#1 was so wise. #2 should get a mentor so he can pick better women. His style may be attracting the wrong kind of women. No lie, I looked them all up and judged them just by their looks. After listening to the talks they all are pretty normal and humble.
I learned new perspectives from both sides.
Scriptures: 1 Thessalonians 5 Always be joyful. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Pray without ceasing. To make sure your selection the right person for marriage.
1Corinthians 13:4 Love is kind, patient. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.
Love your neighbors as yourself.
Colossians 3:13 make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Accountability means pointing the finger back on yourself. You can't say the other person is not accountable unless you are pointing back at yourself. Men can't just say women aren't if they aren't pointing back to themselves and vice versa. The number 2 guy hasn't been transparent about anything about himself but hasn't said anything about himself. Let's stop talking about each other and talk about yourself. It's easy to be judgmental.
While I agree. I think he was answering the question honestly. Some women got low key mad when he made that statement, but its true. Women need accountability. Men need accountability.
@@SH-vj2ce I just don't think it's very accountable to say the reason why you aren't married is because of the other sex and that goes both ways.
@@kellya3162 ok
@@kellya3162 the number 2 female said it. She said that her partner held himself accountable and said that he wasn't ready for her and that's why her relationship ended. But I'm guessing that's fine because men should lead so he led himself out the way
@@kellya3162 I completely agree!
As a Christian woman watching each episode, I learned we know more of these conversations with guidance from Christian married couples. Christian men and women would understand each other better by gathering in a setting, which allows equity of voice (brave space). We need to rise as above the issues singles in the Kingdom of a God is having. We need to do better. Prior to watching, I sought out an older married woman in my church who I can be accountable to (mainly for my mindset) being that I’m divorced ( married prior to receiving Jesus). Proverbs 31 the entire chapter is excellent for men and women. Please produce more videos.
I can't wait! Whatever season this is,God, thank you! It's been awesome to just LEARN.
Donna Simone yes I agree! I’m single and would love to have the man God has for me rn but I’m grateful that he has brung me the resources to further learn so I can be fully ready for what he has in store
@@toshahartzog3665 amen girl
#2’s apology - please, let us learn to apologize in a way that doesn’t place the emphasis on the other person for being offended rather than on us for offending them. ‘I’m sorry IF I offend you’ isn’t a good apology. ‘I’m sorry THAT I offended you’ is.
✌🏾
The last statement was def a mic drop. I could not breathe when he said that.
Like, we need another episode to unpack what he said, cos it's a real issue. And the funny thing is, at the heart of it might be subconscious choices that many of us in the Christian community are making that we're not consciously aware of.
Exactly! I snapped my fingers on that.
I agree with the ladies. The men were very judgemental and immature. Except the 37 years old man
nhbeautyzone how do you lnow their ages? In which episode dis it appear on?
Jennice GV It was in the first video
@@AfroLatinaPTY first episode
nphowe thanks 👍🏾
37 ??😳 I would have never guessed
Great episode. Good to see healthy dialogue from both sides. Some things need it be addressed some more. More mentorship for men. I fee like most Christian/saved women are likely to get healed/ get therapy and be accountable table than Christian/ saved men. We need more 👏🏾👏🏾 to the Azonwus! #naijaforlife
This was great hearing the male perspective. As a believer I see that we have some work to do, even outside of marriage. The root of this issue is the true relationship we have with God.
Listen to UNDERSTAND! Not through the lens of pain, frustration, and "typical." Community is important. Healing takes place when you have a healthy assessment of self from the perspective of both (men and women). HEAL! HEAL! HEAL! Please.
Freke is absolutely right. At least for me. I desire accountability from older women...I believe my life would change dramatically with that.
That being said, i am held accountable by my friends, and my church, but I definitely desire more.
I don't understand how some people missed what you saw. He deeply described accountability.
The statements "I could say the same about men." or "I could say the same about you," is not a sign that you are accountable. Just sayin.
Correct. Being accountable does not turn the discussion away from self.
I love this...challenge us in our faith and christian dating!! Honestly that really is something to think about...you can have the same amount of christian single women and men in the same room and they not want each other. If we start first just trying to get to know others as just friends first and look at their heart then maybe we might find someone we would actually like mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Watching how people carry themselves in the kingdom in relationship with others can give you insight on who the individual is. Then if God is telling you to act on your feelings or go for it and get to know them be free to do it. Sometimes it takes walking in faith and taking that risk.
Ouff! That last question was like a bomb and it's actually the real thing we should question about...For the second question, I'll try a possible solution and say being able to be true to ourselves and this whole accountability thing is the beginning, just like true repentance leads to that amazing relationship with Christ. I feel like we are ready to identify our flaws but we are not as ready to admit how they blind us and how they have an incredible impact on the other person. And because of that, we lack the transparency needed to bring forth the necessary change in us accordingly to God's Word, we miss on the grace from others that we so desperately need and we keep growing our pride and have a discourse filled with a sense of entitlement that blinds us even more. I feel like on both christian men and women side, we could indeed afford some more accountability.
This and the 3 parts that preceeded this was 🔥. As always, appreciate the relevant content Azonwus! As a Christ-led woman, I can see both sides but I agreed more so with the men, especially the piece about women & accountability. Speaking only for myself, I see the difference between BEFORE when I spent so much time in college & post-college Christian communities "thinking" I was where I should be or "thinking" I knew what needed to be worked on but in reality I had a lot of blindspots. I mistook certain criticisms, resistances and irritants, from both men & women, as warning signs of conflict that I didn't want to bother to engage in (especially if the delivery and tone it was packaged in was off) because I was conflict-avoidant. NOW after some counseling, discovering hidden traumas and how that's impacted my childhood & adulthood I realize that it was pride, a tool utilized by the enemy to keep me from the blessing of submission and correction that comes from a pure place.
I think perhaps the reason for the lack of awareness and acknowledgement for not having depth in accountability relationships is because faith and real relationship with God is new for a lot of us. So maybe we fear any threat to the stability that we have in that area, even if that threat is needed to dismantle a broken belief system and shed a light on the critter of pride that's really like a tapeworm in our minds and bodies stealing so much of the nutrients that are meant to nourish us. I haven't engaged with many women or men on the topic of relationships & dating, so I'm not sure where they stand on this or whether or not they share the same sentiment. This really is just my thought, from the outside (of myself) looking in.
Answer to the second to last question: It was confirmed through this video that I MUST continue to invest in self-awareness, self-growth, and communication. The first is really key. If I know myself in AND out of Christ then I can better proceed. I won't be so offended because I can know (after consulting the Holy Spirit) what is for me and what is not. I can know whether something that's said to me is coming from someone's flesh or the Spirit. Because people are people, just like me. They can't be expected to not succumb to the wiles of the enemy because that's just not realistic. And so sometimes they, people, don't even know themselves of where (specifically through which spirit) what they're saying is coming from. God is the only reliable source for confirmation of the stimuli we take in. So in short, I have to seek God first by starting at "home" (knowing Him and myself) and the rest will be added.
2 Timothy 4:2-5 is a great verse that speaks on how we are to look upon & regard teachings or constructive criticism. Sometimes we associate teachings with only pastors and "leaders" and relegate constructive criticism from those around us but they're one in the same and they're equal in rank. Someone having access to a platform DOES NOT mean the content that they deliver is of higher importance/ more relevant OR that they are special and so used by God more OR that they are trustworthy & reliable because they have a following/ audience. Those people who have "influence," defined by the world, are no different from friends, family, spouses, potential spouses and strangers. God can use them, socially distant influencers, just as much as they can use someone right next to us. It's our attitude and willingness to receive God's intended message that most matters. We may be blocking our blessings if we don't accept them on the "platform" He's trying to deliver it on. Just a thought🤔 Going back to why I share the verse as it relates to the question, the flesh will fight back the Truth (as it's the nature of flesh). We can be under the self-deception (of pride) telling ourselves it's God or the Spirit telling us to resist, fly, or fight but it really just isn't. So it's of crucial importance that I ask God to sober me, renew my mind, and help me to consult Him in EVERYTHING so that I'm not manipulated, especially by the self-deceived Christian.
I agree with some of the comments I think as women it taught me we make assumptions instead of taking it exactly how they delivered it or asked for clarity. The answers were from their experience but they applied their answers from the women they dated to defend all women! I also appreciate the men being able to acknowledge the need for sensibility and when to apologize but as women we need to accept that and move on. #1 (woman) my sis kept rubbing it in and she didn’t appear open to learning and listening to the heart and intent of what they were saying and who they meant it for. It shows me how important it is to also not be in the middle when it comes to questions like these because it makes it harder to communicate our feelings stance and what we need from the one we’re dating. Scripture I would use would be quick to listen and slow to speak and keeping no records of wrongs. I understand my sisters as I am also working to not be defensive and quick to speak! It shows how both men and women have to know who’s speaking meaning is it their experience; God; trauma; the enemy (like with peter); etc. So we can appropriately respond. I loved this y’all! Keep up the great work big bro and sis in Christ !
Man #2 seems bitter. Woman #3 seems combative & attitudinal. Man #3 😍😍😍 maturity, style, and articulation is SO attractive
Thank you for this series and I would like to see more. My greatest takeaway is to deal with self first in all honesty and vulnerability; I find that I haven't even expressly identified to myself my toxic traits though I might have scarcely thought about it in my head. Yet, I can now say without a doubt that certain unhealthy traits has costed me a really ugly and life changing relationship. Secondly, recognise a real man of God...of course with discernment from the Holy Spirit. You need Him to make the right choice cos our understanding is limited and trust! He reveals stuff people be tryna conceal!
At the end of the day,we should try to give allowances for peoples short comings. Christian men and women are still people, we are still learning and growing in our work with the Lord and in our lives.
No. 1 for the guys was real mature and kind. A great communicator if I might add. Good job guys and God bless!.🤗
God bless you for this statement
I loved the discussion about accountability. Accountability is important bc it ultimately makes you as an individual better. I also loved when #3 was describing why its difficult or it seems like a man of faith is not stepping to a woman. I have a new appreciation. They want to step to Christian woman correctly and I respect that
When number 1 from the guys said it isn’t uncommon to fill a room with both men and women of faith and for them not to want on another, I felt that... here ➡️❤️... we definitely need more of these please. These are legit out social and dating lives as Christians. The assumptions and misconceptions... and I feel we could all learn something if we’re receptive of information and not constantly try to defend our positions. Great series
I like that they had the face off and that this conversation went on. As a Christian woman I will not class myself with other Christian ladies because we are so different in our views even though we are supposed to have godly standards the what works for Peter doesn't work for Paul saying applies. There is alot of broken expectations especially when dating in the church that pretty much stems from unrealistic expectations that a Christian man is the perfect man or vice versa. So much emphasis is put on preparing the women to be the "Godly woman" that most times the men go unchallenged and educated on what they are expected to uphold as Christian men. The gap is far to wide and many times a common ground is not reached! This was refreshing and real. I'm checking myself!!!
To answer y'all questions.
I learned that or rather realized that I don't have the necessary accountability in my life. I also don't have older women I can look up to for sound advice. I don't know any personally let alone christian. That's why I watch videos where I can learn some things and still kinda have that what I lack. I wish I could do it differently tho..
Chr men en women can understand each other better by listening with the intent to hear and not just respond or defend their answers. Esp women. Also we need to have a more open mind to understand each other better. And when we want to say something we have to think first then respond accordingly to avoid just saying things.
What I would like to apply is accountability but I would have to pray to God to send some my way. That's the only option I think. But not for dating sake alone. You can benefit from it for multiple reasons other than dating.
That's all I can think of for now.
1 kor 16:13 1 Peter 3:15 proverbs 18:9 col 3:17
I want to thank 'The Azonwus' for putting out such great content. The last statement made by Male #1 hit home so much. My church is one that advocates marrying people in the church due to plenty of reasons. I just wish I could cut it and put it on my church page for discussion. Please put in all that you cut out so we can have the full picture. Thank you
This should have been a No Comments video. Imagine one of these people reading all of these negative comments about them.
These men all spoke eloquently and had good points that were worth listening to as women. As a woman I agree we can sometimes get offended and defensive a little too quickly. Listening for the heart and intention is vital. I enjoyed this very much.
Love it. I think you all did great. It is an eye opener for sure. So much to learn from it
This was a great series to watch although it was unconformable to watch at some point due to the conflict. It proves that Christian men and women need to have more constructive conversations without the pressure of knowing if the other person will be your spouse. A little side note: Single Christians should steer away from generalizing when dealing with the opposite sex. Everyone's dating history is different, and their story is equally unique. Also bear in mind that the Holy spirit still orders our steps especially when it comes to relationships ( not in a creepy audible voice way but in a way that unique to us and our relationship with Jesus) but I fear our generation is too distracted to be sensitive to He is leading. Have fun, meet and engage with people but most importantly "watch and pray."
Great series & convo! Much needed for singles, christian or not.... 🙌🏽 thank you ❤️ we don’t always have to agree but we can still gain knowledge on other perspectives and learn how to effectively communicate with those of the opposite sex ultimately whether we decide to date then or not. Appreciating all experiences as one’s truth
Amen! I love this. I appreciate the transparency and vulnerability.😂😂😂
This was a great series! This kind of healthy dialogue needs to become norm. I learnt a lot from both. I felt like at different points both the men and women tried to give the right answer instead of the truth, though I could be wrong. I imagine it wasn't easy to be as vulnerable as they were with strangers and on camera but they handled it well.
This series was interesting for so many reasons. Man #1 was dropping some nuggets and seems to understand what accountability actually is. I agree with #2 on the male side that the company you surround yourself with should be able to hold you accountable however, accountability by nature is introspective and requires a level of honesty and responsibility to self. At the end of the day, someone else can’t make you be accountable. Even if they point out things you should be accountable for, You still have to do the work!
I definitely agree with #2 (ladies) response to the soulmate question! I also believe that God brings two ppl together for the sake of building His kingdom! You can be compatible with many and those ppl still not be a suitable mate!
I'll answer questions 1 and 2:
1. I found the men were un-genuine. They were one way when their backs were turned from the women, and completely another when they were sitting in front of them. The women however behaved the same when their backs were turned and when they were in front of the men.
2. Learn how to better communicate, and communicate effectively. However, to also "listen" to what the other person is saying, having help from the Holy Spirit to reveal what they may be stating even when they may not be saying it the way in which we would convey it. It's one thing to hear someone, it's another to actually "listen" to what they are saying.
Wow I learnt a lot from how guys percieved women (based on their social context), their personal experiences, etc. The thing I was surprised by with was how guy 2 and guy 3 was okay with the idea of body enhancement...I wondered how that fit into good stewardship and magnifying God with our bodies? No judgement, just observation 😊. Thoroughly enjoyed listening to guy 1; such a pleasant and calm demeanor, well at least that's what was observed on camera😅. Well done to the other gentlemen. God bless you guys and gals, I hope you all meet a wonderful help mate one day. Much grace much peace!🇿🇦
Number one is so eloquent with his speech, I love his brain.
Will be interested to see if it's the same story in the UK Christian Church. I was raised to get a good education and get a good job, don't mess with boys. Then all of sudden at 25, they are asking me where's your husband? Well, I was out here bettering myself, and I'm made to feel bad for pursuing career development and doing Kingdom work. I am turning 31 in a couple of weeks and never been in a relationship so I am always reading and watching to gain knowledge. But you know what I feel that God has taught me, especially during this Quarantine. Seek him first. Seek God first he is your father, seek God first he is your friend, seek God first he is your comforter... and all those other desires (job, a blessed relationship that leads to marriage, children,) will be added onto you(in due time). The wait isn't going to be easy but the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, and he hasn't forgotten about me. And I know for that lonely, single person out there, those words may have been repeated to you many times and they are just dead now. tbh I feel that sometimes. We have our moments of weakness and doubts, we're only human. Even Jesus did. We need to daily renew our faith, do that Ciara prayer every day. :). Look at what God has given you in your hand right now and don't take that for granted.
Sorry for the essay.
I grew up with a lot of women and/or a lack of men and guy friends. Now i'm totally anxious and clueless on how to navigate with friend or romantic relationship with men. Like genuine ones. Their are topic where i'm feel like a messs🤣 And I recognize the importance of having older pius women friends and guy friends to help figure things out. And really rely on God, because His promises are not lies.
Love this so much I went looking for more... HOPEFULLY More soon, And the statement #1 made to end it... BOOM!!!
This was a good conversation throughput the various segments. Ultimately I think guy #1 hit it on the head with the closing comment about Christian men and women filling a room in equal proportion but at the end of the day none of them want each other. Maybe that’s the real issue, but why is that ? 🤷🏾♀️ That could be a series by itself.
I think it is the expectations that are there. A little bit of a double standard. And I think a level of the misunderstanding of what marriage actually is. Prayerfully God heals and removes all ideology so true relationships can take place.
I enjoyed watching this mini series. Take away: we have to learn to communicate more effectively so that the listener understands our intent. I would’ve liked to see more resolution. It feels like people left with the feeling of judgment and disagreement and still steadfast in their views. Maybe with more open-minded individuals. Still a nice opportunity and a pleasurable watch! 😊
The last line is so true ! The church I got saved at had a lot of singles and after leaving I could never wrap my head around why there were so many singles in the church seeking marriage but hardly any of them considered dating each other .
My response to the question at the end of the video is, God has given us all things to enjoy.. including the process of meeting new single Christians. Don’t stress out on the flaws, we can encourage each other in our faith-walk. Marriage is just one of the many blessings He has given. 🙏
First, people need to understand that it is not easy to be vulnerable with complete strangers. There is no perfect answer, like this is just an open dialogue that was refreshing to hear amongst believers because we dont typically hear each other’s perspectives especially men we just be ranting to our home girls😂
Secondly, people are bashing their personalities and there were flaws in some of the answers but can any of us honestly say we would answer better or worst lol like come on.
This was a good dialogue and looking forward to more. More questions and more perspectives.
These men still refuse to accept that they are the common denominator. the type of women that keep getting are the ones that they are attracted to. They don't seem to get it. I guess it'll take a little more maturity.
I’m so pleased with this series, can’t wait for what’s next!
I think many Christian folks are not transparent. Some don’t know their growth areas because in the church they’re so active that they feel untouchable. I was that way until I talked to more married folks. Yes the congregation will praise you for being active and being such a nice Christian man/woman and working with the young people, but you still have growing to do. Also, when you’re single for a long time, sometimes you’re still immature when it comes to relationships because you haven’t dealt with them.
Accountability is not something that you can get , but something you take on yourself.It means you are willing to evaluate you actions and your reason behind those actions , instead of trying to blame them on someone else.
This is amaaazing, I love it❤❤❤
number 1 reasoning was really mature, well constructed and profound. All the answers were well reasoned and this is a free lesson to a better outcome and a more meaningful dating.
Wauw the last statement of the guy with the glasses really blew my mind 🔥🔥 Needed to rewind it a view times. Love his perspective and learned a lot from it.
What I took away from this series is that communication is still the key to a successful relationship. Whether it's exercising listening skills or verbalizing feelings/needs to your partner (not friends and family). And when someone corrects you or holds you accountable for your actions/words, you have to be willing to consider what they said, instead of becoming defensive. And if two people can't work that out, they should consider a 3rd party (counselor) to help them communicate.
This was fun to watch!! I’d watch more with a different crew!! But number two from the guys can catch these hands lol I heard nothing else out of his mouth after he blamed women for HIM being single. Sounded like he wasn’t accountable himself! 🤷🏽♀️ Other than that it was a joy to see healthy conversation.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was put off by #2. I could barely watch the series because of him.
Can we get some more? This was too good. Man #1 spoke some truths throughout all the segments man.
Proof it takes more than an alignment of faith to be compatible.
‘She doesn’t even read’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣 men and women drama
He's so petty lol
Lol this was hilarious
This is why i believe that single ministries are very important, because itv would allow for both men & women to learn about themselves first as they grow in Christ during thier singleness, and than as the Kingdom man pursues the kingdom woman they will both have purpose and there will be no confusion..
This was a lot of fun to watch and refreshing to hear from both sides collectively! Please do more!!!
Whew I learned some things with this. I am now at the point of my life where yes I am waiting on God but I am actively dating. I don’t waste time though. I’m dating with purpose and a plan. But number 2! We read sir! Lol. He was funny.
That last statement Number 1, was a banger! Soooo true!