I loved her with all my heart and she cheated. Been a month and still suffering bad. She probably has been fine with her new guy so it sounds silly that I still feel so bad. One day at a time
This is exactly whats happening! We're separated and he's super motivated and excited about his new life. He's telling people he's changed, transformed. I'm just waiting for this new stage of life to get boring or unsustainable and he's gonna revert back to his authentic selfish self.
Hit the gym. Become better mentally and physically. Let them have their fun with their new side piece but NEVER take them back. This isn’t a game it’s meant to be love. Someone that loves you implicitly and not leave and hop into bed with someone straight away. Let them have their fun, get better and grab your popcorn and watch them burn. Never go back!
Yea a rebound relationship is pure BS. Doesn't last. When they should be healing and working on themselves they are just transferring their shit to another person. Definition of selfish
Mine monkey branched to a coworker so I went no contact until the divorce and then I went radio silent. Blocked on all social media. Was two years in August. The DiSrespect was my closure..
I met up with my LDR ex in February. Before we left I asked her if she wanted to try again… she said we’ll talk. I tried to get her on the phone for several days with her ducking. Eventually she ghosted me. Been in no contact for 30 days, yesterday she changed her profile picture to an old gift I sent her. I didn’t fall for the bait.. next day, I’m blocked on IG. I’m getting under her skin. Getting my power back
Still no contact with her. Its hard but im managing. She’s been active on Spotify and making the songs she’s listening to public. This happened only after I got blocked on IG. Although im trying to keep strong, my last communication was a letter I sent in March about closing the distance etc. I sent a follow up email 2 weeks later asking if she’s doing okay. That’s when I started no contact. @Coach Ken, should I stay perma no contact since she’s ghosted me?
Some days I feel like im on top of the world, other days i feel like absolute trash. How can someone ghost another without proper closure? It’s selfish. Without giving closure, she has the option to come back or move on. Debating whether to send another email saying that I respect her decision and wish her the best. I don’t want her to think im waiting. Or is the mystery better?
"Embrace the hurt" (6:35) reminds me of the scene in "Platoon" where the battle-hardened Sergeant claps a hand over a wounded soldier's mouth to muffle his screams, growling "Take the pain. Take the pain." And you just know that Sergeant's been there. These are very motivating videos!
The longer I listen to you, the more I think that its not worth it to take the dumper back. This is the motivation I need. Reassuring dumpee’s worths, reassuring that there’s something we did right for ourselves.
Thank you for this video Coach. It's been 3 and a half months of NC for me. Since then I've been slowly building my value back up. Got a new car and started a new job this week. And more importantly I'm getting to a point where I start to think about her less frequently and am moving on with my life. If she does reach out, cool. But if not, I will be ok.
I've been in no contact for 251 days and counting. And what you said in this video is the exact same situation that I had with my ex, she was with me then broke up with me "and didnt even tell me" til after she got caught in the act. She was crying when we broke up while talking to me, I told her that I hope that she finds true happiness and love because she deserves it. I hurt over it however, I'm better now because I dove into all the pain at once and deal with it faster and all at once. Her reason for leaving me and going straight into the other relationship was 1) he is a little older then you (referring to me) 2) he has a kid 3) more experienced Those were her reasons for leaving me and she also said that she never wanted to leave me and that it just happen.
@darkchthonian856 she's trying to rationalize but deep the attraction has gone away and even her cannot but admit that she has no feelings at all... It relates to commitment, in what commitment were they? Was it purely feelings, what about be partner and tram up together in front of any adversity, and go throught them victorious because we love each other and decided to stay together no matter what.... I am myself going through that. One particular thing is that she did not do the break up but i think she's about to do it soon. I came upon all this knowledge and understanding just in june so i went into no contact since then. Hang on and let us rejoice for your 251 NC! That is great, you have my support! Let us keep this good work on, inside work and outside work!
Thank you for the advice on this video. Iearned that my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he has Fearful Avoidant Attachment! If he comes back, it could happen again, so I sincerely doubt I'd believe his intentions. GOD'S GOT THIS so I'll be in a new relationship with a "man" who deserves me! I know what I bring to the table and I'm not afraid to eat alone 👍💪💪
You are 1 in a million. Never heard it told with such authenticity. You are smmoth, sincere, transparent, wise, and let me dtop because the lust gies on. Just know, this really spoke to me. I feel as if you know the narcissist I know. I didn't feel pain listening to you tjis, just assurance that I'm healing the way I need to. Thank you, sir!
It is 4 months already and 4 months of monkey branch. I did begging crying everything for a month, but when i saw that new girl uploading cuddling and kissing pic with him and he was happy, i just snapped. I told myself that even if i will end up crying each day and night but i will not let him know , i made promise myself that i did tried and i threw my self respect in Dustin but that's enough i wont give that girl and him the satisfaction by letting them know i am miserable . I know i love him and i still have days i cry a lot and watch videos about getting back to ex but i fcking not degrade myself because we should understand our worth if they are not seeing because in the end YOU WILL HAVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I know its hard when they went in new relationship so fast i still doubt my worth and i still blame myself because of breakup but i will handle my thoughts with myself and the people who are around me and love me but i wont show any sign of weakness to him.
@@archangelelmo yes he did text twice after 5 months in 15 days gap in between but i took my stand strong, he was there to get his ego boost and was checking if his safety net still there or not, as he is still in rebound and they celebrated 8 months together yesterday , so i have to take my stand strongly .
He does, doesn't he. I'm not buying the whole thing about getting back with your ex. Once you take the trash out to the curb, you don't go out and root through it. However, he does know what makes people tick and he sure does know how to explain it.
I used no contact 3 times on the same woman. She came back every time. Finally I sent a postcard telling her I moved to another town doing something different. We got back together. When she started to pull back again I gave her an ultimatum. Marry me or it’s totally over. I was tired. She accepted. Show up for the ceremony. Showed up on the wedding night. Been married 35 years no infidelity. I did not know about No-Contact. Something just told me this is what you have to do. I love your insight. I needed your information 35 years ago.
You have no idea how much your videos have helped me 😢. Im going thru it hard and its killing me but i have respected her choice and her decision, i have been in smart contact for a couple of months now because we have 2 kids together so i keep it respectful and even tho she monkey branched on me and continues dating this new person i still treat her with respect and just let her be. I keep focused on muself and my kids and its so hard not to worry about her and to not focus on her. Every day its a mental battle not to ask how is she doing. We were together for 10 1/2 years and she left me for someone she met 6 months ago. The pain got so bad that i developed broken heart syndrome which you talked about in another video. I cant wait to have a session with you next week. I know i need to stay strong and trust me, everyday is a battle with my emotions. Im trying so hard.😢
Don't be the Methadone for your ex love addict. You don't want to be weaning them off you, let them go cold turkey and the side effects that come with that. My experience is that they come back when the side effects of no contact creates anxiety or their rebound doesn't measure up.
So I’ve done no contact several times with an avoidant and I feel that this advice is just frustrating. My guy did reach out after a period of time with a random message, but then still didn’t want to attempt to have a relationship. I feel that he only reaches out to relieve the anxiety that he is feeling in the moment, and by me responding he gets what he wants. No talk of seeing eachother or being together at all. I just feel it’s pointless to continue even responding when there is no progress at all.
I have gained so much clarity from your videos in such a short time. I appreciate your talk on their rebound and how they will think the new person is perfect. And how it is important not to reach out ever.
"was I an anchor in her life..." damn dude, you used your words like a katana to slice so accurately. So many relevant thoughts from you. Thanks for sharing them in the video. I found them helpful.
as much as ive wanted to get back with ex's in the past ,so much so that it hurts every day for months. As soon as i see them with someone else , that wanting to get back with her feeling completely dies. i dont know why anyone would still want to get back in a relationship with some after they have not only dumped you but found someone else. thats where i draw the line
I feel this. If this person was your person, then if they rebound or get into something else with someone else, to me, it just highlights that what we had was never actually special/ unique because ultimately they can find it easy enough else where
I just love how you describe it all, even if shes never coming back, it just feels so good to just hear what they be going through. Thanks and may god bless you my friend.
Just found your video's and you are AMAZING! I like your big brother vibe instead of some guru type person who has a perfect life looking down on us single peasants lol
This is the first creator I’ve come across that doesn’t throw every ex to the same evil basket and actually explains the mechanisms behind our reactions. Incredibly helpful perspective and great comfort.
It's been less than 24 hours since he ended it. I asked for more attention he didn't think that was nessary. Pretty messed up. I'm borderline not much fun. I definitely did the classic make him leave I'm sure. Texted 3 times and now I'm really gonna stop and do no contact. Freed myself from a narrassic relationship of 11 years and did no contact. I can do this. If it's not to get back with him it's to make myself better. Good advice on this video. Thank you...can't wait for the pain to go away.
Thank you for the insights you share. You are the most effective coach I've heard. I recently started No Contact after breaking up with him for a good reason that requires time apart for him to miss me . If he truly loves me he will contact me. What I've learned from you is if you break No Contact that will boost his ego . This thaught helps me very much during the times I feel like texting him . Thank you so very much.
Its 5 months of no contact. He told me was going to join priesthood. Broke up with me thru text . It still hurts like it was yesterday. Your videos have helped me cope. I am giving up hope. I pray l meet a man that honestly wants me. Thank you Ken
Glad I found your channel today Coach Ken! Day 21 of NC. I ran into her due to family emergency and it got me weak and I couldn’t eat last 2 days but didn’t break NC. I feel better now. Thank you and keep going
Trust in this video! It's 1,000% accurate. My ex, after us being separated for a very long time, still tries to pursue me, still stries to interact with me, still continues to look for ways to grab my attention. And they are in a whole other relationship. It's funny how the person who was left, ultimately, becomes the most desired one in the end
Bro I absolutely Love your content… I really think this is THE best no contact channel I’ve seen. So glad to have found it. I think you’re a genuine guy, I appreciate all the effort and advice
Im getting to up in age to do all this game playing!! We both have a hard time staying away long. We were exclusive for over 13 years. Now all of a sudden A Crazy addiction driven Mom and a Money driven Uncle are giving him their two cents advise. All about their manipulation over future inheritance or property. Pluss we are haveing to do the long distance thing now for last 3 years. We just spent time in Feb on Valentines weekend then once again 4 weeks later. I am having a hard time in my heart to not hear or talk more often with one another. We have always been really good at talking things out. ....... WHAT DO YOU SAY TO KEEPING THE FRIENDSHIP WHEN STILL EXTREME CHEMISTRY yet no longer a complete couple working toward the future. ??? He has loads of irons in the fire! Full time job, a Volunteer Fireman, Going for more school classes this late in life. And a Addiction counciling internship. He honestly is a over achieiver working hard to make up for younger years waisted.
Thank you Coach Ken , your videos have been so helpful to me. It's crazy situation I'm going through it's like she dumped me but didn't dump me. Without going into a lot of detail, but I'm using your videos like she dumped me and it's saving me from myself. I don't know if you will read this but thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you for your wisdom, I've watched too many break up coaches online but never really spoke to me and make so much sense. Thank you all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
Thank you Coach Ken ❤ This is very well researched and used personally by you which makes it extremely valuable I believe. Please keep providing powerful insights like these as not everyone understands that it’s difficult to go through all this and is not just them. This is the exact guidance they need when going through these phases. Please keep up the good work. People need your help and guidance not everyone can afford tons of money to a Therapist to figure themselves out but which they should eventually as that will definitely put them on the right path. I am extremely grateful to you for sending this informative and insightful message and advice. I hope you help more and more people with time and you yourself have a wonderful and healthy emotional, physical and spiritual life. From one great human being to another. Thank you 🙏
Within 3 hours of breaking up with me, I was getting let's be friend text back to back and telling me they did what was best for us. My response is go away because we weren't even together that long. I asked him to leave me alone so that I can heal.
Wow really makes me feel better we bin in no contact just over a year now heard he with someone else I've just allowed myself to stay hard with no contact at all even tho i still longing for him it is getting lighter an lighter im ok starting just now coming to term's with our break up and my feelings are better no hard feelings anymore ❤i am starting to see my strength its really helping me feel better everyday mow ❤still very much love him ❤️
Give them silence. If you and your ex were walking down a hallway towards one another, turn around, walk the other way, improve your mind, body, and soul. When they finally see all those improvements and betterment, they will see what they caused, and what you did in a positive manner to combat the pain of loss . I'm doing that right now, and if I see her again, she will see it. Then it's in god's hands, fate, what happens then.
Wait, if you’re walking down the hall towards each other and then you turn around and walk the other way…wouldn’t that be in the same direction they’re walking?
Damned if I would turn and run like a dog with his tail tucked I would walk right passed them head on I wouldn't give then the satisfaction to think they had broken me down!!
@@pennyjpiesorry for a late reply. Yes and no. I'm talking about not giving them the right to see the new you, the improved, better you. By turning around and walking away, you show them your not running away, your walking away with confidence and stride, and not falling back
me and my ex have been split up for about a year now and i remember when it happend she texted me and asked if i was stalking her because she said i was acting weird and not talking to her. i just told her she wanted space and i gave it to her
nice thoughtful explanation. I'm 5 weeks into the breakup she initiated. multiple reach outs from both of us. finally have held down 2 weeks of NC now, but both our birthdays coming up in 3 weeks and anniversary 3 weeks after that....jeeeeeez this is so damn hard....
I just found your channel and the way you convey your message within every video you make is very well delivered down to the smallest detail. The sad thing about this video and the other videos I watched because I have yet to run into a video that talks about this is what does an ex feel after dumping the rebound person who didn't even know they were basically a rebound relationship to begin with. I found out I was a rebound person a few days after I made it official with my ex. She told me she started talking to me the very same day she broke up with her ex. What makes it even more sad was that I wasn't focused on dating any women during this time. I was focused on leveling up to be my best version of myself. She met me at work and showed me genuine interest when she would ask me question after question basically making it noticeable that she wanted to get to know me. It made me feel good to have a positive interaction with a woman where she's showing high interest first instead of me showing interest first. I don't want to go into detail about the breakup but I will say I did everything right and treated her good and despite all of that, she broke up with me in an immature way instead of us having a talk to see if we should break up. We never argued, we always enjoyed each others company and she still broke up with me and betrayed my trust. After the way she did me by how she broke up with me and everything she said after the breakup and how cold she was towards me after the breakup, I will NEVER be vulnerable EVER AGAIN with any woman. Idc what anyone says or what they think. When you go through life and you've been hurt by every single relationship of people you let into your life(not just love relationships, but family, friends, and your past lover), that hurt begins to darken your heart slowly over time the more you continue to experience heartbreak, betrayal, disloyalty, disrespect, and disingenuous behavior from people you loved and cared about. It changes you. This was the last time I will ever be vulnerable with a woman for a relationship. In addition, this is the last time I will put my trust in people in general because I'm always the one who ends up getting hurt in the end by BOTH GENDERS. I AM SICK OF THAT ISH. I'm never allowing anyone to ever get close to me like that ever again, and I will especially be even harder on women because women act like they care and they act like they will treat you right when you start to open up to them, but it's all a ploy. Women love conditionally to a higher degree than men do and what makes it worse is if those conditions don't PLEASE THEIR EMOTIONS, they discard you like you never meant anything to them because they have the privilege to sit back and let the next man or men come to them and show interest for a relationship or relations. That's why the harsh truth is women DO NOT CARE. PERIOD! If they did, DIVORCE rates wouldn't be so high. Breakups before marriage and after marriage(meaning divorce) are MOSTLY INITIATED BY WOMEN. IT'S A REASON FOR THAT. Focus on yourself men. Become the best man you can be so you can have the privilege of ending relationships when they don't fall in line instead of them being the one to ALWAYS DO IT TO US. Lastly, DON'T TELL A WOMAN HOW TO BE A WOMAN TO YOU. DON'T TEACH A WOMAN HOW TO BE A WOMAN TO YOU. Women don't tell men how to treat them nor do they tell a man how to be a man. Not at all. They expect men to JUST GET IT. Become the prize, and if she isn't acting like how a woman IS SUPPOSED TO ACT, dump her and find one that JUST GET IT.
I found out I was the rebound too...i think he went back to his manipulative malignant ex wife who he said was so toxic it almost destroyed him last time he was with her.. I treated him so well and I love him as I've never loved before... I'm praying he will reconcile with me... i took down all my walls for him...
@@smittenbykittens I broke up with my toxic ex about 10 months ago. For as much as I am trying to use time to improve myself, I am still dating, and I am in some kind of rebound "something"... I would not call it a relationship, but I am seeing someone. She's great, treats me very well and so far she's been adorable... I am still thinking about my ex though, even though I think I will never want to go back with her. The problem is that those like me, who had a toxic partner, for some reason keep on looking for toxic relationships, well at least until the therapy and work we do on self improvement shows some results. I started believing that I am not able to appreciate and recognize healthy and genuine love... you may have found one like me
I just found your content and I can’t tell you how helpful you are! You speak so much sense and honesty! I’ve seen alot of videos on RUclips but I love the way you explain things!.. keep going 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Coach again I cant tell you how well timed this video was, its been 47 days of NC, and i was thinking about breaking it this morning because I thought I had nothing left to lose, but im gonna hang on...and someday I hope to write on your videos that you were right. Thank you again for these videos
After 4 yrs what I thought we had a awesome connection.. We broke up from him cheating and now he don't want to be committed anymore.. So back in NC NOW
I'm sorry you're going through that - sometimes you want to beat yourself up for hurting so much over who could do that to you but it says good things about you and who you are!
I agree it’s suppose to hurt. It’s normal to feel it strongly. I’m in no contact now 40 days after we broke up 13 weeks ago. Unfortunately I stayed in contact for 7.5 weeks and then realised it was doing no good.
How u doing now. I'm in similar boat. We both ended it, for lots of complex reasons. But kept in touch and spoke daily for couple months. Then met. Then I expressed how i wanted them back etc but was rejected. So now I'm in NC.
@@Zombie101 they never contacted me again. It's over 14 months now since break up with a bit of contact for maybe 8 weeks after the break up initially.
@rainerneumeister5239 sorry to hear that. Why do you regret stating in contact for the 7.5 weeks though? What about it was doing you no good? I'm asking because I'm feeling like reaching out but not to beg, but to just keep the door open in some respects. To show her I still care
@@Zombie101 to be honest in my experience, once a woman makes up her mind to leave I think it's curtains. Contact or no contact. Unless she experiences big problems with a new guy.
Everything you speaking I’ve felt. Like what happened? It shakes you to your core. Especially when you make them your “One” NC for almost a month. Your videos are getting me through this stretch big time. Thank you.
"Works more often than people realise." Maybe for you guys. But hey I suppose I'm talking myself out of confidence. No body really knows. It still feels that it doesn't work in a way I can't describe.
So true .. Last year i let go my beautiful man ❤ afther almost 2 years, i found it 2 difficult 2 be with him at that point so i broke up and i told myself i didn't like him no more .. He was pissed at me but afthwr that he ghosted me. Really for almost 2 months he was out of my mind but than it started, i knew i made a mistake i tried everything, everything but he didn't wanted me no longer. I am still in pain, so yeah no contact works 😊
my ex (dumper) reached out after 2 weeks nc to return my apartment key. It was a very tame break up regardless of my confusion at the time. I spoke with him in-person for an hour, I held my composure and strength. I'm wondering your thoughts on how this encounter may impact the stages of nc since he was the one to reach out?
Coach, you make some excellent comments here, but why do you operate from the assumption that you want your ex back or that you should get back with them? Often, things end for a reason.
Well This is wonderful,i am into the no contact and i intend to stay that way, he shouted he did not love me anymore so i took that as an ok ,i can not force that issue, months of narcassistic rages,i am glad for your warm calm voice ,❤ thankyou xx
I hung out with a girl in 2022 for almost the whole year. Sleeping together, staying the night and multiple days with each other.. long story short it felt like we were dating then she ghosted me and had a boyfriend. It still bothers me. He had a family behind her back and they broke up, she reached out to me and said she liked me and felt like we were dating but something held her back, she doesn’t know what but that she regrets it more than anything. We talked for a couple months then hung out a few times. I asked her out, she said “like a date?” I told her not officially a date but not as friends. She said no, said she doesn’t see me that way, even though she had told me she did and regrets ghosting me. It makes no sense at all. Her mom said that she talks about me a lot and says I’d be a good husband. It’s confusing. I told her I’m not looking for a friend and that I like her too much to be able to do that. Haven’t talked since. I’m hoping she’ll change her mind but still don’t get it or know what I should do. It fucking hurts my soul every day.
after the man begging me to call him wen i finally did start calling and texin trying to get to know him then this same man started pulling back ghosting me for no reason but to hurt me i’m guessing it’s all a game. so now i’m going to do the no contact if he ever tries to come back into my life. i wish i had of at least had sex just one time then i would have blocked him as soon as the encounter was over that would have destroyed his ego completely.
It’s been 6 months. After all this time coach, I’ve been thinking. What’s the point? She knew I was going through a bad phase in life. My life was falling apart while she went on dates. Now she seems to be a little bit curious. I mean, I feel like I’ve suffered so much and now my breakthrough seems to be around the corner. Even if I get her back, what’s the point? How do I forgive her? For leaving me when I needed her to stay. When I truly needed her mental support. For going with other dudes. And maybe she didn’t sleep with them but even then, it feels like an insult to my feelings. How do make things work with her?
Mine was an alcoholic. He has undiagnosed BPD I threw him out , it was toxic- he was talking to other girls. He made it sound like he needed to leave me, that he hated me. I haven’t had much contact. But he doesn’t seem bothered losing me .
I just found your channel tonight …and, honestly, the vibe is completely different than what I used to listen to in regards to videos about no contact…and I believe it‘s the speed you, coach Ken, have when you talk. 2 videos after ,,,I tuned to your way of delivering soooo much content. Thank you for your work. You make my life so much easier.
Thanks Coach Ken, you described my situation to a T!! While dating my ex she always told me if anything ever happened she would be the best ex ever because I would never hear from her again, and that she didn't do second chances and to be honest she hasn't ever done second chances except with one of her exes, she bragged about everybody giving her the nickname " The Icequeen" so I really don't expect to be a success story but I am trying my best!! I needed to hear this!! You completely described my ex spot on!!
@Wendell Martins 2 things actually happened I happened by total accident to see pics of her at her Birthday dinner and no I didn't reach out on her birthday and sounds crazy buy after being with someone a few years you can look at their facial expressions and tell if something isn't right and somethings definitely bothering her may be no contact may not be then the next day I had a like from a new person that I am not friends with on Facebook and this account only has 3 pics all cartoon like pics and they only have one friend..... my exes brother I kinda find that suspicious
Currently in day 2 of NC. My ex split up with me 5 days ago as I tried to get her back. It's hard because the break up was through no fault of my own. She has depression and anxiety and now it's likely she's got ADHD and borderline personality disorder. She split up with me because of her mental health and she wants to sort herself out. I asked her if regardless of it was me or anyone else who she'd be in the relationship with if she'd had still ended it and she said yes which was a positive thing for me to hear and she said she wants to be on her own for a while too. I miss her so much but contacting her will only make it harder for myself. Right now I want her back but hopefully going No Contact, I will get over her and move on in my life.
Lol. I've been in no contact with my ex for 3 years now. The day she said she didn't want to see me anymore I told her if you walk away I won't ever chase you again. Even if she comes back 5 years from now, I'm going to have to let her stick with her decision and let her know my value. I mean damn she'll probably reach out when she's in her 40s or 50s but guess what? You made that decision thinking you were higher than me lso live with it. Work on yourself. Have some pride in yourself and you'll get through it king 👑
Man, I have the similar issues with mine. We were together for two years. She has anxiety, depression and autism. She has a lot on atm, but the breakup felt like it came out of nowhere. It's been pretty hard I'm on just about two weeks on NC and she is stonewalling me. We also work together. I feel guilty sometimes because I get a bit annoyed that I was always there for her whenever she had a depressive stage or whenever everyone else would ignore her when she was moody. Working hard though. But I won't lie I want my best friend and liver back.
Thanks for the comments guys. All I can say now is that I'm fully over my ex. Still single but I enjoy my own company. Time is the ultimate healer. It's been over a year since we split and I've learnt and matured from my relationship with my ex. She didn't get back in touch in the end but I couldn't care less.
If they're in another relationship, you start respecting yourself and move on for good.
No contact! We both deserve it. I deserve my self respect, and he deserve my absence. Have a good life!
👸👸👸
well said
"When your phone doesn't ring, that's me"
Boom
This!!!!
No contact! I love it. Consequence of breaking up with me is not having me. I loved him with all my heart. Now he gets nothing.
I loved her with all my heart and she cheated. Been a month and still suffering bad. She probably has been fine with her new guy so it sounds silly that I still feel so bad. One day at a time
@@jumpedintheriverwhatdidise5499 karma is a?
Great news guys. He is has made contact and interested once again.
@@gloriatucker9796how long did it take?
Just make sure he earns your love and don't give it all to him and be so available❤
This is exactly whats happening! We're separated and he's super motivated and excited about his new life. He's telling people he's changed, transformed. I'm just waiting for this new stage of life to get boring or unsustainable and he's gonna revert back to his authentic selfish self.
Give him the chance, then you will know for sure.
“Look at the hurt as evidence you feel things on an authentic level”…Wow, that shit hit on a different level coach.
This coach knows so many excuses we give to ourselves to break NC and prolong our own suffering.😅
Hit the gym. Become better mentally and physically. Let them have their fun with their new side piece but NEVER take them back. This isn’t a game it’s meant to be love. Someone that loves you implicitly and not leave and hop into bed with someone straight away. Let them have their fun, get better and grab your popcorn and watch them burn. Never go back!
21:24
Watch people’s patterns. How often they flip relationships, jobs…there’s a tell tale sign they are unsettled internally. Let them go.
Hat if you can’t hit th gym cups you’re just so hurt you rather stay home
@@Namelessly554 Same here but soon you‘ll be able :)
Yea a rebound relationship is pure BS. Doesn't last. When they should be healing and working on themselves they are just transferring their shit to another person. Definition of selfish
Running away from their pain. Looking for a fix.
Yup
Mine monkey branched to a coworker so I went no contact until the divorce and then I went radio silent. Blocked on all social media. Was two years in August. The DiSrespect was my closure..
"sometimes they don't come back" 💔 definitely didn't want to hear that, but I needed to hear that
I met up with my LDR ex in February. Before we left I asked her if she wanted to try again… she said we’ll talk. I tried to get her on the phone for several days with her ducking. Eventually she ghosted me. Been in no contact for 30 days, yesterday she changed her profile picture to an old gift I sent her. I didn’t fall for the bait.. next day, I’m blocked on IG. I’m getting under her skin. Getting my power back
Hell yea
Smart move
Still no contact with her. Its hard but im managing. She’s been active on Spotify and making the songs she’s listening to public. This happened only after I got blocked on IG. Although im trying to keep strong, my last communication was a letter I sent in March about closing the distance etc. I sent a follow up email 2 weeks later asking if she’s doing okay. That’s when I started no contact. @Coach Ken, should I stay perma no contact since she’s ghosted me?
Some days I feel like im on top of the world, other days i feel like absolute trash. How can someone ghost another without proper closure? It’s selfish. Without giving closure, she has the option to come back or move on. Debating whether to send another email saying that I respect her decision and wish her the best. I don’t want her to think im waiting. Or is the mystery better?
@kazuya mains lol my two cents, mystery is better. You're awesome, find someone who is excited to be with you!! ❤
"Embrace the hurt" (6:35) reminds me of the scene in "Platoon" where the battle-hardened Sergeant claps a hand over a wounded soldier's mouth to muffle his screams, growling "Take the pain. Take the pain." And you just know that Sergeant's been there. These are very motivating videos!
I remember that movie! Intense - yeah perfect metaphor
The longer I listen to you, the more I think that its not worth it to take the dumper back. This is the motivation I need. Reassuring dumpee’s worths, reassuring that there’s something we did right for ourselves.
Thank you for this video Coach. It's been 3 and a half months of NC for me. Since then I've been slowly building my value back up. Got a new car and started a new job this week. And more importantly I'm getting to a point where I start to think about her less frequently and am moving on with my life. If she does reach out, cool. But if not, I will be ok.
Amen brother!
@@CoachKen I emailed you about another session. I’m not sure you’re getting the email or not.
I've been in no contact for 251 days and counting. And what you said in this video is the exact same situation that I had with my ex, she was with me then broke up with me "and didnt even tell me" til after she got caught in the act. She was crying when we broke up while talking to me, I told her that I hope that she finds true happiness and love because she deserves it. I hurt over it however, I'm better now because I dove into all the pain at once and deal with it faster and all at once. Her reason for leaving me and going straight into the other relationship was
1) he is a little older then you (referring to me)
2) he has a kid
3) more experienced
Those were her reasons for leaving me and she also said that she never wanted to leave me and that it just happen.
@darkchthonian856 she's trying to rationalize but deep the attraction has gone away and even her cannot but admit that she has no feelings at all...
It relates to commitment, in what commitment were they? Was it purely feelings, what about be partner and tram up together in front of any adversity, and go throught them victorious because we love each other and decided to stay together no matter what....
I am myself going through that. One particular thing is that she did not do the break up but i think she's about to do it soon. I came upon all this knowledge and understanding just in june so i went into no contact since then.
Hang on and let us rejoice for your 251 NC! That is great, you have my support! Let us keep this good work on, inside work and outside work!
@@nino_94 well its been longer now however, it's still a great feeling knowing that I'm single and loving every second of that
Commenting for no other reason than to support this gentleman and this channel ❤
The new rebound excitement always wears out.
Thank you for the advice on this video. Iearned that my ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he has Fearful Avoidant Attachment!
If he comes back, it could happen again, so I sincerely doubt I'd believe his intentions. GOD'S GOT THIS so I'll be in a new relationship with a "man" who deserves me! I know what I bring to the table and I'm not afraid to eat alone 👍💪💪
Coach Ken,
Your dead on… it will be hard at first, but eventually it gets better. Self-respect is the most important thing
self respect key for you and self respect as well as attraction
You are 1 in a million. Never heard it told with such authenticity. You are smmoth, sincere, transparent, wise, and let me dtop because the lust gies on. Just know, this really spoke to me. I feel as if you know the narcissist I know. I didn't feel pain listening to you tjis, just assurance that I'm healing the way I need to. Thank you, sir!
It is 4 months already and 4 months of monkey branch. I did begging crying everything for a month, but when i saw that new girl uploading cuddling and kissing pic with him and he was happy, i just snapped. I told myself that even if i will end up crying each day and night but i will not let him know , i made promise myself that i did tried and i threw my self respect in Dustin but that's enough i wont give that girl and him the satisfaction by letting them know i am miserable . I know i love him and i still have days i cry a lot and watch videos about getting back to ex but i fcking not degrade myself because we should understand our worth if they are not seeing because in the end YOU WILL HAVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I know its hard when they went in new relationship so fast i still doubt my worth and i still blame myself because of breakup but i will handle my thoughts with myself and the people who are around me and love me but i wont show any sign of weakness to him.
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmo yes he did text twice after 5 months in 15 days gap in between but i took my stand strong, he was there to get his ego boost and was checking if his safety net still there or not, as he is still in rebound and they celebrated 8 months together yesterday , so i have to take my stand strongly .
@@archangelelmo did you get recent breakup?
You have such an amazing way to communicate human behaviors during breakups.
Thank you - very kind of you to share that encouragement! Sincerely means a lot!
I agree ken is the best, and so down to earth I worked with him last summer . Yes he communicates so well.
He does, doesn't he. I'm not buying the whole thing about getting back with your ex. Once you take the trash out to the curb, you don't go out and root through it.
However, he does know what makes people tick and he sure does know how to explain it.
I used no contact 3 times on the same woman. She came back every time. Finally I sent a postcard telling her I moved to another town doing something different. We got back together. When she started to pull back again I gave her an ultimatum. Marry me or it’s totally over. I was tired. She accepted. Show up for the ceremony. Showed up on the wedding night. Been married 35 years no infidelity. I did not know about No-Contact. Something just told me this is what you have to do. I love your insight. I needed your information 35 years ago.
Thanks for such great, authentic content that isn’t constantly pushing ads and hawking coaching sessions. Very appreciated.
Trying to find the balance :D - thank you for the kind words
You have no idea how much your videos have helped me 😢. Im going thru it hard and its killing me but i have respected her choice and her decision, i have been in smart contact for a couple of months now because we have 2 kids together so i keep it respectful and even tho she monkey branched on me and continues dating this new person i still treat her with respect and just let her be. I keep focused on muself and my kids and its so hard not to worry about her and to not focus on her. Every day its a mental battle not to ask how is she doing. We were together for 10 1/2 years and she left me for someone she met 6 months ago. The pain got so bad that i developed broken heart syndrome which you talked about in another video. I cant wait to have a session with you next week. I know i need to stay strong and trust me, everyday is a battle with my emotions. Im trying so hard.😢
Don't be the Methadone for your ex love addict. You don't want to be weaning them off you, let them go cold turkey and the side effects that come with that. My experience is that they come back when the side effects of no contact creates anxiety or their rebound doesn't measure up.
Starting to think I've found this absolute gem of a guy way too late in the game
So I’ve done no contact several times with an avoidant and I feel that this advice is just frustrating. My guy did reach out after a period of time with a random message, but then still didn’t want to attempt to have a relationship. I feel that he only reaches out to relieve the anxiety that he is feeling in the moment, and by me responding he gets what he wants. No talk of seeing eachother or being together at all. I just feel it’s pointless to continue even responding when there is no progress at all.
I have gained so much clarity from your videos in such a short time. I appreciate your talk on their rebound and how they will think the new person is perfect. And how it is important not to reach out ever.
This content is pure gold, thank you, Coach Ken. I started off with Coach Lee’s material and that’s how I stumbled onto your wisdom.
I appreciate that!
Same here! Coach Lee has a soothing voice that tends to lull me into sleep. Coach Ken keeps me awake with more incisive ideas per minute.
THIS GUY IS BANG ON..SO TRUE
GIVE THEM A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE, DON'T PLAY THEIR GAMES..STAY STRONG
❤️🙏💪
It's not about punising someone it's about respecting yourself and them being an adult with emotional intelligence.
I love how this guy talks you through it. Wisdom.
"was I an anchor in her life..." damn dude, you used your words like a katana to slice so accurately. So many relevant thoughts from you. Thanks for sharing them in the video. I found them helpful.
as much as ive wanted to get back with ex's in the past ,so much so that it hurts every day for months. As soon as i see them with someone else , that wanting to get back with her feeling completely dies. i dont know why anyone would still want to get back in a relationship with some after they have not only dumped you but found someone else. thats where i draw the line
I feel this. If this person was your person, then if they rebound or get into something else with someone else, to me, it just highlights that what we had was never actually special/ unique because ultimately they can find it easy enough else where
I just love how you describe it all, even if shes never coming back, it just feels so good to just hear what they be going through. Thanks and may god bless you my friend.
Just found your video's and you are AMAZING! I like your big brother vibe instead of some guru type person who has a perfect life looking down on us single peasants lol
Ha! Thanks - one of my favorite comments
@@CoachKen no thank you for being so real and authentic in your videos, you make things so easy to understand 💕 keep doing what you're doing!
Easy to say but someone that "Dumps" you, you should not take them back. Do no contact to heal yourself and let them live with the regret.
When I close my eyes, I feel like I'm getting an ADVICE from the ACTOR, John C. Reilly, of Step Brothers. Great voice, man!!
aka Dragon - Classic
This is the first creator I’ve come across that doesn’t throw every ex to the same evil basket and actually explains the mechanisms behind our reactions. Incredibly helpful perspective and great comfort.
It's been less than 24 hours since he ended it. I asked for more attention he didn't think that was nessary. Pretty messed up. I'm borderline not much fun. I definitely did the classic make him leave I'm sure. Texted 3 times and now I'm really gonna stop and do no contact. Freed myself from a narrassic relationship of 11 years and did no contact. I can do this. If it's not to get back with him it's to make myself better. Good advice on this video. Thank you...can't wait for the pain to go away.
Thank you for the insights you share. You are the most effective coach I've heard. I recently started No Contact after breaking up with him for a good reason that requires time apart for him to miss me . If he truly loves me he will contact me. What I've learned from you is if you break No Contact that will boost his ego . This thaught helps me very much during the times I feel like texting him . Thank you so very much.
Thanks for sharing that Marcela! Means a lot to read a message like yours
Shouldnt you the one to reach out since youre the one who broke up with him?
Thanks Coach. The way you convey and talk your ideas makes me feel that I'm having a conversation with my dad. Keep up the great work!
Its 5 months of no contact. He told me was going to join priesthood. Broke up with me thru text . It still hurts like it was yesterday. Your videos have helped me cope. I am giving up hope. I pray l meet a man that honestly wants me. Thank you Ken
Thank you for the kind words De Soto - wish you all the best!
May you meet someone loving, caring,honest and true.
Damn, your relationship went down that bad that he joined the priesthood? Wtf? What happened during the relationship that lead to that?
Glad I found your channel today Coach Ken! Day 21 of NC. I ran into her due to family emergency and it got me weak and I couldn’t eat last 2 days but didn’t break NC. I feel better now. Thank you and keep going
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
Trust in this video! It's 1,000% accurate. My ex, after us being separated for a very long time, still tries to pursue me, still stries to interact with me, still continues to look for ways to grab my attention. And they are in a whole other relationship. It's funny how the person who was left, ultimately, becomes the most desired one in the end
Thank you you just helped me I am working through the first stage
No contact!!
Bro I absolutely Love your content…
I really think this is THE best no contact channel I’ve seen.
So glad to have found it.
I think you’re a genuine guy, I appreciate all the effort and advice
This is compassionately honest❤
Thankyou & Lee for not using profanity in ur videos. This is a very professional characteristic......
Take a deep breath…thank you for the reminder.
Im getting to up in age to do all this game playing!! We both have a hard time staying away long. We were exclusive for over 13 years. Now all of a sudden A Crazy addiction driven Mom and a Money driven Uncle are giving him their two cents advise. All about their manipulation over future inheritance or property. Pluss we are haveing to do the long distance thing now for last 3 years. We just spent time in Feb on Valentines weekend then once again 4 weeks later. I am having a hard time in my heart to not hear or talk more often with one another. We have always been really good at talking things out. ....... WHAT DO YOU SAY TO KEEPING THE FRIENDSHIP WHEN STILL EXTREME CHEMISTRY yet no longer a complete couple working toward the future. ??? He has loads of irons in the fire! Full time job, a Volunteer Fireman, Going for more school classes this late in life. And a Addiction counciling internship. He honestly is a over achieiver working hard to make up for younger years waisted.
Thank you Coach Ken , your videos have been so helpful to me. It's crazy situation I'm going through it's like she dumped me but didn't dump me. Without going into a lot of detail, but I'm using your videos like she dumped me and it's saving me from myself. I don't know if you will read this but thank you 🙏🏻
I’ve listened to this 7 times today lol
Thank you!
Coach ken I have a call with you the 13th
Thank you for your wisdom, I've watched too many break up coaches online but never really spoke to me and make so much sense. Thank you all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦
Good to meet you! Let me know if you ever make it to Kansas!
@@CoachKen kansas?
Thank you Coach Ken ❤ This is very well researched and used personally by you which makes it extremely valuable I believe. Please keep providing powerful insights like these as not everyone understands that it’s difficult to go through all this and is not just them. This is the exact guidance they need when going through these phases. Please keep up the good work. People need your help and guidance not everyone can afford tons of money to a Therapist to figure themselves out but which they should eventually as that will definitely put them on the right path. I am extremely grateful to you for sending this informative and insightful message and advice. I hope you help more and more people with time and you yourself have a wonderful and healthy emotional, physical and spiritual life. From one great human being to another. Thank you 🙏
Within 3 hours of breaking up with me, I was getting let's be friend text back to back and telling me they did what was best for us. My response is go away because we weren't even together that long. I asked him to leave me alone so that I can heal.
Wow really makes me feel better we bin in no contact just over a year now heard he with someone else I've just allowed myself to stay hard with no contact at all even tho i still longing for him it is getting lighter an lighter im ok starting just now coming to term's with our break up and my feelings are better no hard feelings anymore ❤i am starting to see my strength its really helping me feel better everyday mow ❤still very much love him ❤️
thank you so much, i basically have none to go to, watching ur videos make me feel much better, im so grateful
I’ve booked quite a few sessions with coach. He has some invaluable insight
Give them silence. If you and your ex were walking down a hallway towards one another, turn around, walk the other way, improve your mind, body, and soul. When they finally see all those improvements and betterment, they will see what they caused, and what you did in a positive manner to combat the pain of loss . I'm doing that right now, and if I see her again, she will see it. Then it's in god's hands, fate, what happens then.
Or just confidently nod without even breaking stride
Wait, if you’re walking down the hall towards each other and then you turn around and walk the other way…wouldn’t that be in the same direction they’re walking?
Damned if I would turn and run like a dog with his tail tucked I would walk right passed them head on I wouldn't give then the satisfaction to think they had broken me down!!
@@pennyjpie Obviously not
@@pennyjpiesorry for a late reply. Yes and no. I'm talking about not giving them the right to see the new you, the improved, better you. By turning around and walking away, you show them your not running away, your walking away with confidence and stride, and not falling back
me and my ex have been split up for about a year now and i remember when it happend she texted me and asked if i was stalking her because she said i was acting weird and not talking to her. i just told her she wanted space and i gave it to her
nice thoughtful explanation. I'm 5 weeks into the breakup she initiated. multiple reach outs from both of us. finally have held down 2 weeks of NC now, but both our birthdays coming up in 3 weeks and anniversary 3 weeks after that....jeeeeeez this is so damn hard....
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
I just found your channel and the way you convey your message within every video you make is very well delivered down to the smallest detail. The sad thing about this video and the other videos I watched because I have yet to run into a video that talks about this is what does an ex feel after dumping the rebound person who didn't even know they were basically a rebound relationship to begin with. I found out I was a rebound person a few days after I made it official with my ex. She told me she started talking to me the very same day she broke up with her ex. What makes it even more sad was that I wasn't focused on dating any women during this time. I was focused on leveling up to be my best version of myself. She met me at work and showed me genuine interest when she would ask me question after question basically making it noticeable that she wanted to get to know me. It made me feel good to have a positive interaction with a woman where she's showing high interest first instead of me showing interest first. I don't want to go into detail about the breakup but I will say I did everything right and treated her good and despite all of that, she broke up with me in an immature way instead of us having a talk to see if we should break up. We never argued, we always enjoyed each others company and she still broke up with me and betrayed my trust. After the way she did me by how she broke up with me and everything she said after the breakup and how cold she was towards me after the breakup, I will NEVER be vulnerable EVER AGAIN with any woman. Idc what anyone says or what they think. When you go through life and you've been hurt by every single relationship of people you let into your life(not just love relationships, but family, friends, and your past lover), that hurt begins to darken your heart slowly over time the more you continue to experience heartbreak, betrayal, disloyalty, disrespect, and disingenuous behavior from people you loved and cared about. It changes you. This was the last time I will ever be vulnerable with a woman for a relationship. In addition, this is the last time I will put my trust in people in general because I'm always the one who ends up getting hurt in the end by BOTH GENDERS. I AM SICK OF THAT ISH. I'm never allowing anyone to ever get close to me like that ever again, and I will especially be even harder on women because women act like they care and they act like they will treat you right when you start to open up to them, but it's all a ploy. Women love conditionally to a higher degree than men do and what makes it worse is if those conditions don't PLEASE THEIR EMOTIONS, they discard you like you never meant anything to them because they have the privilege to sit back and let the next man or men come to them and show interest for a relationship or relations. That's why the harsh truth is women DO NOT CARE. PERIOD! If they did, DIVORCE rates wouldn't be so high. Breakups before marriage and after marriage(meaning divorce) are MOSTLY INITIATED BY WOMEN. IT'S A REASON FOR THAT. Focus on yourself men. Become the best man you can be so you can have the privilege of ending relationships when they don't fall in line instead of them being the one to ALWAYS DO IT TO US.
Lastly, DON'T TELL A WOMAN HOW TO BE A WOMAN TO YOU. DON'T TEACH A WOMAN HOW TO BE A WOMAN TO YOU. Women don't tell men how to treat them nor do they tell a man how to be a man. Not at all. They expect men to JUST GET IT. Become the prize, and if she isn't acting like how a woman IS SUPPOSED TO ACT, dump her and find one that JUST GET IT.
I found out I was the rebound too...i think he went back to his manipulative malignant ex wife who he said was so toxic it almost destroyed him last time he was with her.. I treated him so well and I love him as I've never loved before... I'm praying he will reconcile with me... i took down all my walls for him...
@@smittenbykittens I broke up with my toxic ex about 10 months ago. For as much as I am trying to use time to improve myself, I am still dating, and I am in some kind of rebound "something"... I would not call it a relationship, but I am seeing someone. She's great, treats me very well and so far she's been adorable... I am still thinking about my ex though, even though I think I will never want to go back with her. The problem is that those like me, who had a toxic partner, for some reason keep on looking for toxic relationships, well at least until the therapy and work we do on self improvement shows some results. I started believing that I am not able to appreciate and recognize healthy and genuine love... you may have found one like me
I just found your content and I can’t tell you how helpful you are! You speak so much sense and honesty! I’ve seen alot of videos on RUclips but I love the way you explain things!.. keep going 🙏🏼🙏🏼
The best dating coach in youtube !!
Very kind of you to say - thank you! mentalhug!
I hope my man comes back I’m not chasing though😢😢😢😢
Coach again I cant tell you how well timed this video was, its been 47 days of NC, and i was thinking about breaking it this morning because I thought I had nothing left to lose, but im gonna hang on...and someday I hope to write on your videos that you were right. Thank you again for these videos
Hang on! Looking forward to that comment from you!
❤ now they are in the last stage .. what then ? For me don’t prolong your respond… I agree your opinion Coach Ken .. you are smart
Thank you for the insights
I agree 100 percent
any updates?
46 days of NC and still staring at rocks, but it gets way easier as time passes
After 4 yrs what I thought we had a awesome connection.. We broke up from him cheating and now he don't want to be committed anymore.. So back in NC NOW
I'm sorry you're going through that - sometimes you want to beat yourself up for hurting so much over who could do that to you but it says good things about you and who you are!
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
I agree it’s suppose to hurt. It’s normal to feel it strongly. I’m in no contact now 40 days after we broke up 13 weeks ago. Unfortunately I stayed in contact for 7.5 weeks and then realised it was doing no good.
How u doing now. I'm in similar boat. We both ended it, for lots of complex reasons. But kept in touch and spoke daily for couple months. Then met. Then I expressed how i wanted them back etc but was rejected. So now I'm in NC.
@@Zombie101 they never contacted me again. It's over 14 months now since break up with a bit of contact for maybe 8 weeks after the break up initially.
@rainerneumeister5239 sorry to hear that. Why do you regret stating in contact for the 7.5 weeks though? What about it was doing you no good? I'm asking because I'm feeling like reaching out but not to beg, but to just keep the door open in some respects. To show her I still care
@@Zombie101 to be honest in my experience, once a woman makes up her mind to leave I think it's curtains. Contact or no contact. Unless she experiences big problems with a new guy.
Everything you speaking I’ve felt. Like what happened? It shakes you to your core. Especially when you make them your “One” NC for almost a month. Your videos are getting me through this stretch big time. Thank you.
"Works more often than people realise." Maybe for you guys. But hey I suppose I'm talking myself out of confidence. No body really knows. It still feels that it doesn't work in a way I can't describe.
Your advice resonates 100%. You communicate so well and I really appreciate what you have to say. Thank you!
I appreciate that - very much
So true .. Last year i let go my beautiful man ❤ afther almost 2 years, i found it 2 difficult 2 be with him at that point so i broke up and i told myself i didn't like him no more ..
He was pissed at me but afthwr that he ghosted me.
Really for almost 2 months he was out of my mind but than it started, i knew i made a mistake i tried everything, everything but he didn't wanted me no longer.
I am still in pain, so yeah no contact works 😊
This is like god level codependency. At what point do you want an ex back that’s out rebounding every warm body?
The Best of the Best on RUclips!!
my ex (dumper) reached out after 2 weeks nc to return my apartment key. It was a very tame break up regardless of my confusion at the time. I spoke with him in-person for an hour, I held my composure and strength. I'm wondering your thoughts on how this encounter may impact the stages of nc since he was the one to reach out?
Coach, you make some excellent comments here, but why do you operate from the assumption that you want your ex back or that you should get back with them?
Often, things end for a reason.
No contact aka staring rocks...just brilliant definition...having said that..DON'T BREAK NO CONTACT...Talking from experience
She came back to speak with me. I told thay if you are no into commitment do not talk wih me again.
How do you do no contact when you have a 9 year old daughter together. I was married for 14 years now we are separated
Well
This is wonderful,i am into the no contact and i intend to stay that way, he shouted he did not love me anymore so i took that as an ok ,i can not force that issue, months of narcassistic rages,i am glad for your warm calm voice ,❤ thankyou xx
I hung out with a girl in 2022 for almost the whole year. Sleeping together, staying the night and multiple days with each other.. long story short it felt like we were dating then she ghosted me and had a boyfriend. It still bothers me. He had a family behind her back and they broke up, she reached out to me and said she liked me and felt like we were dating but something held her back, she doesn’t know what but that she regrets it more than anything. We talked for a couple months then hung out a few times. I asked her out, she said “like a date?” I told her not officially a date but not as friends. She said no, said she doesn’t see me that way, even though she had told me she did and regrets ghosting me. It makes no sense at all. Her mom said that she talks about me a lot and says I’d be a good husband. It’s confusing. I told her I’m not looking for a friend and that I like her too much to be able to do that. Haven’t talked since. I’m hoping she’ll change her mind but still don’t get it or know what I should do. It fucking hurts my soul every day.
I was blocked, I can't reach him unless I go to their house which I definitely won't do that
I’m not on social media at all so there is no way I can know what she is doing nor can she know what I am doing.
Thanks!
Apologies for just seeing these
after the man begging me to call him wen i finally did start calling and texin trying to get to know him then this same man started pulling back ghosting me for no reason but to hurt me i’m guessing it’s all a game. so now i’m going to do the no contact if he ever tries to come back into my life. i wish i had of at least had sex just one time then i would have blocked him as soon as the encounter was over that would have destroyed his ego completely.
Out of all the videos iv been listening to you are spot on !
Thanks Marilyn!
You have such a great way of explaining this process. Thank you!
Great video your dead on. Hang in there guys stick to the plan...
It’s been 6 months. After all this time coach, I’ve been thinking. What’s the point? She knew I was going through a bad phase in life. My life was falling apart while she went on dates. Now she seems to be a little bit curious. I mean, I feel like I’ve suffered so much and now my breakthrough seems to be around the corner. Even if I get her back, what’s the point? How do I forgive her? For leaving me when I needed her to stay. When I truly needed her mental support. For going with other dudes. And maybe she didn’t sleep with them but even then, it feels like an insult to my feelings. How do make things work with her?
You dont. Have some respect for yourself
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
Your videos help me all the time can. Thank you so much. Love, Shirl.
Thank you ! I am learning to let things be
Just discovered your channel. Love your work👌 just awesome. Thank you
Thanks so much Helen - very kind of you!
So well conveyed even i understood it cheers coach
Mine was an alcoholic. He has undiagnosed BPD I threw him out , it was toxic- he was talking to other girls. He made it sound like he needed to leave me, that he hated me. I haven’t had much contact. But he doesn’t seem bothered losing me .
I just found your channel tonight …and, honestly, the vibe is completely different than what I used to listen to in regards to videos about no contact…and I believe it‘s the speed you, coach Ken, have when you talk. 2 videos after ,,,I tuned to your way of delivering soooo much content. Thank you for your work. You make my life so much easier.
Thank you so much for sharing that! Sincerely appreciate it
They rebound, they so much as talk to another person oh, you have no chance with me
Finally! Some answers! Thank You!
Does this still work if they get *A LOT* of attention from other men?
This is very very informative too me ,thankyou x
Thanks Louise! Much appreciated!
Thanks Coach Ken, you described my situation to a T!! While dating my ex she always told me if anything ever happened she would be the best ex ever because I would never hear from her again, and that she didn't do second chances and to be honest she hasn't ever done second chances except with one of her exes, she bragged about everybody giving her the nickname " The Icequeen" so I really don't expect to be a success story but I am trying my best!! I needed to hear this!! You completely described my ex spot on!!
Funny thing after I made this comment the very next day I saw proof before my eyes that maybe just maybe no contact is starting to work!!
What happened?
@Wendell Martins 2 things actually happened I happened by total accident to see pics of her at her Birthday dinner and no I didn't reach out on her birthday and sounds crazy buy after being with someone a few years you can look at their facial expressions and tell if something isn't right and somethings definitely bothering her may be no contact may not be then the next day I had a like from a new person that I am not friends with on Facebook and this account only has 3 pics all cartoon like pics and they only have one friend..... my exes brother I kinda find that suspicious
What do you think Coach Ken??
That's sounds really desperate and a bit delusional.
She even told me that part of her doesn’t want to break up with me and another part of her does. 😢
Currently in day 2 of NC. My ex split up with me 5 days ago as I tried to get her back. It's hard because the break up was through no fault of my own. She has depression and anxiety and now it's likely she's got ADHD and borderline personality disorder. She split up with me because of her mental health and she wants to sort herself out. I asked her if regardless of it was me or anyone else who she'd be in the relationship with if she'd had still ended it and she said yes which was a positive thing for me to hear and she said she wants to be on her own for a while too. I miss her so much but contacting her will only make it harder for myself. Right now I want her back but hopefully going No Contact, I will get over her and move on in my life.
She needs to heal bro give her time
Lol. I've been in no contact with my ex for 3 years now. The day she said she didn't want to see me anymore I told her if you walk away I won't ever chase you again. Even if she comes back 5 years from now, I'm going to have to let her stick with her decision and let her know my value. I mean damn she'll probably reach out when she's in her 40s or 50s but guess what? You made that decision thinking you were higher than me lso live with it. Work on yourself. Have some pride in yourself and you'll get through it king 👑
Man, I have the similar issues with mine. We were together for two years. She has anxiety, depression and autism. She has a lot on atm, but the breakup felt like it came out of nowhere. It's been pretty hard I'm on just about two weeks on NC and she is stonewalling me. We also work together. I feel guilty sometimes because I get a bit annoyed that I was always there for her whenever she had a depressive stage or whenever everyone else would ignore her when she was moody. Working hard though. But I won't lie I want my best friend and liver back.
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
Thanks for the comments guys. All I can say now is that I'm fully over my ex. Still single but I enjoy my own company. Time is the ultimate healer. It's been over a year since we split and I've learnt and matured from my relationship with my ex. She didn't get back in touch in the end but I couldn't care less.