Infp's loop is sitting in their mom and dads house drinking beer and reminiscing about old relationship,lisining to the same songs and going to the same resturants they have been going to their whole lives. Avoiding new people at all costs.
Charles Benson infp I take it? Sounds about right. My buddy likes to do that and walk down memory lane a bunch as well. I would definitely say he's in the loop and keeps trying to analyze the past and misses new opportunities as well. You ever find yourself in that?
I reminisce too but it's involuntary because it's about stupid stuff I did or said and I try to forget. I despise thinking about the past because I only remember to correct the future but I don't really wanna know I used to be wrong.
Kinda accurate... My infp ex boyfriend is basically in FiSi loop and he's trying to get back old dreams or relationships that already have failed... :/
Also INFP Fi_Si lop, you can get stuck in thinking that the way you have been in the past is the way you will always be and you won't ever change or improve, like if you are currently lazy you use past examples to prove that you have always been lazy and will always be lazy and it won't ever change, it's who you are.
As an INFJ, when I’m unhealthy I get really hung up on the ‘truth’ and try to correct everyone. I get really rigid but it’s all logical behaviour to me... people should avoid me when I’m looping for their own good :) Ps I view door slamming as a usually healthy mechanism. When I door slam someone I have attempted to tell them what’s wrong - yet they continue to violate personal boundaries and (insert problem here etc etc). They show no signs of change and i need to cut them off for my own good. HOWEVER, When I’m Looping, everybody I have doubts about are scrutinised under my lens and any behaviour is taken as a reason to disparage a person as toxic etc (oh the irony). I attempt to doorslam but it ultimately fails because Fe will kick in eventually and show sense into me again. Thanks for reading this extremely long comment XD
Rachel Holden That's interesting as it slightly resembles the Ni-Fi-loop. If I come to develop hatred towards an another person and turn inwards, I sometimes tend to curse his/her tale and imagine his/her unevitable doom over and over again, which gives me content. You see Ni being first steers the loop deep into visions. You become unmotivated in the surrounding world (even more than before) becuse you're unable to act without violating your ideal story of life. You just stand on the brim of your mind watching goblins having a merry feast on your sanity. Anyhow, both imagination and values are important in the great scheme. And the logical functionality and its realisations as well.
Thanks for that insight. I'm guessing once that Ni-Fi loop is set, there's no changing it or ways to return back to sanity, right? There's this man I suspected may be INTJ, but your comment helps confirm it. He acted just like you described, and I really don't understand what I did to p*ss him off (other than he crossed some boundaries a year ago and did stuff that needed to be reported to management.) I was willing to try "forgive and forget" the following gardening season and he seemed to have overcome it too. But then something happened beyond my awareness and he turned on me. Told me never to talk to him again. So I was (as fine with it as Fe could take) but he just continued to throw insults at me and talk to others about wanting to cause physical harm. This scared me. Plus I feel it is unbalanced. If the guy doesn't want me to talk to him, then I expect the same in return. Not have it one way. That's just abusive. And no I don't want to deal with this person. Would like to INFJ style slam the door on him, but he's part of the same community I am in, thus will have to be dealt with, as he's kind of become toxic to others in the community as well.
Interesting, I think INTJs are very prone to develop unhealthy relationships with the world. Especially, if they are turbulent and impulsive. Took a while for me to figure out my type because I'm so dreamy and so (and Fe trolling all the way (no offence, of course)). It seem like your coworker is in some phase of emotional development or so. I'm not good at guessing underdeveloped types' moods, he might be dealing with anything. Hatred and introversion do not cure him, although they may help him. Just look at Nietsche, he turned inwards and hated people for the rest of his life. However, I don't say that getting out couldn't be possible. In the contrary, INTJs are generally receptive towards change. Options, I believe is the key here. INTJ has to recognise that he has the possibility to criticise everything and everyone or just lay back and observe. New stories, new viewpoints. Concrete details in the scheme, you know that Ni-Te. I'm just barely adult myself, but I'm glad to perhaps become a part of the story.
Thanks for sharing. Yeah I hope the best. I don't mind sarcasm and jokes. It's outright hatred that bothers me. It's worse. He's not a coworker but someone who lives in the same apartment building. (and his age, he's like 40+ years old and should know better.) I felt bad for him/ wanted us to work together with the community garden, but he came on me kind of strong, perhaps mistaking my Fe friendliness as a potential romantic interest. He also didn't want to listen to any advice, thinking that he knew better. Where it came to a head was in April, he wanted to plant his pepper plants from his apartment into the garden bed outside, a day before expected snow. (we're in MN zone 4 and May/June is when peppers "should" be planted.) I warned him the weather could kill his plants, but he insisted I bring down the garden hose for him to start. I figured people learn best from experience so I brought the hose down and he planted his peppers. Within a day it snowed and killed the peppers he planted. I did kind of tease him asking how his peppers went. That was when he got all angry and never looked back. I didn't think the anger was worth it. If I had known I wouldn't have teased. I fear maybe his reasoning was that I caused it to snow or that I killed his peppers. Who knows. Before he turned enemy on me, he wanted to invite me up to his place or take me in his friend's car to work on garden related stuff, and I felt very uncomfortable with that idea, not knowing either him or his friend. I tried to tell him kindly, but I suspect he didn't take it well. He probably saw it as a rejection and lack of trust, but if he wanted more than a friend, then yeah it was. He also showed his competitive streak, did a very good job knowing what to do to stake tomatoes and come up with barriers to keep animals out. He did a great job in the garden, got a lot of vegetables growing. I tried to offer him praise for his efforts, but he snapped back rather loudly in front of the public that he didn't have to talk to "her". I just hope that he can simmer down and be more cooperative. I really need to see if I can call for some kind of mediation program and see if that would help. My fear is that he'll see it as invasive, but at the same time as a garden mentor in the program I have a responsibility that I need to start upholding. So...yeah know what I need to do, but taking action on the plan I'm dreading, but I know it likely won't get better without intervention.
Some people are just more indifferent of others feelings, regardless of age. Gotta wish you wisdom in thinking outside the box. Maybe you should talk to more people.
9:45 suuuuuuuuuper accurate re: ISFP. I have all sorts of ideas I obsess with and then don’t get around to doing out of fear or insecurity. And it is SO FRUSTRATING.
Infj here, I've been thinking of the infamous door slam that we are so known for and I think it's strange that people find it so shocking. The only times I've ever done this was after time and time and time again getting mistreated by friends and family members untill it gets so bad that I have no other choice. I'd like to be very clear in that I would talk to them about the issues but nothing was happening for the better. I'm pretty sure the name for this would be "toxic friends".Honestly I let those relationships go on for much longer than I should have. I may care for others but I'm not a door mat. Also, I don't make a habit out of this I've only officially "door slammed" just a few people throughout my lifetime one of which we became friends again later in life and we have both changed for the better.
My loop is taking shifts from anyone who asks only to realize I’ve given up all of my time to everyone else and being exhausted at the end of the week, feeling dejected because no one ever does the same for me, and then starting over again... -ENFJ
Alex hit the nail on the head, with ISFJ being stuck analyzing in the past. I just had a conversation connecting with someone to break out of it. - ISFJ also named Alex
This is spot on, and you nailed the solution for INFJs. That's exactly the solution I turn to - go to a concert, play a video game, or visit a friend. Calling them isn't a strong enough to end Ni-Ti. There really needs to be some sort of Se rooting process haha. Although, with the doorslam, it usually happens after a long history of an abusive or exhaustive pattern has been established. So it's usually healthier than not.
I'm dying, 6:52 "And suddenly.." *giggle giggle* "You're out of their life forever! ...." *silent and continued enthusiasm* my favorite part of the entire video!!!
ISFJ Here. In addition, I think the loop manifests as me analyzing the facts and details and trying to draw individual conclusions with my Ti. I know I do this in college when I study.
benny hinn Not at all, unless you have absolute shit friends. Men happen to have feelings too. I show my feeling and my friends are appreciative of the authenticity. A few months ago, I opened up about my problems and they opened up about theirs. It turns out we all have had very rough pasts. We would’ve have known if we hasn’t let those feelings out, and we’re closer because of it.
As an ENFP, I've had a central dream and a college I want to go to, but after college I can see so many possibilities that I've got no idea and I'm just hoping I figure it out when I get there. I could see myself teaching, but I have a deep passion for music so I also really want to perform. I want to influence people in the way a teacher does, but I also want to have a life full of performing and I'm constantly torn. I've considered being a performer and then once I retire teaching on the side. A part of me wants to be a guidance counselor but I just know the monotony would absolute drive me insane.
Thank you! This was so much fun, as well as informative! (though for me, informative and fun are often one in the same lol) I know that for me, as an INFJ, my unhealthy looping usually comes after getting burnt out on my Fe, so I double down on (what I consider to be) The Facts(TM), which gives emotional distance and an ability to very strongly not care about people or things. For example, "That's just what that person does, they're not going to change." or "I tried these things and they didn't work, it's no longer in my hands." etc. Sometimes, a trait I dislike about a person just becomes A Fact, which is unchangeable and neither good nor bad, it's just who they are, even if it's something as fluid as "selfish". How can you be mad at someone who stabs you in the back if they are inherently selfish? It's just who they are, the fault lies in trusting them in the first place. If you put a fox in the hen house you can't be mad when it kills the chickens. Next time, I'll just need to pay more attention and see it coming in advance. That kind of thing. It's defensive thinking because it takes the control away from them (sometimes reducing them into very basic components), and puts it with my ability to predict and control the situation in advance. Which isn't great for trusting people, or for viewing people with as much agency as they probably deserve, so it's definitely an unhealthy looping thing. It's also something I definitely need to work on, it's hard to reclaim that empathy and human relatability when your Fe has jumped ship lol.
I can definitely relate to this. The constant maneuvering I'm doing in my mind to dodge any potential folly usually leaves me overwhelmed during and after an interaction with friends. I'm starting to get the impression that I am in an Ni Ti loop that I'm not sure how to get out of. I appreciate their advise but it's something I need to think about as I still don't fully understand. It seems to me like the Ni Ti loop resembles paranoia.
Unfortunately, I have some internal resistance of being an extrovert. I just heard that extroverts are generally represented as "careless." What I mean by careless is just they are not serious in life, loving short term things while I don't agree to that, and I hate that association at least in my city. I just want to end this association that introverts are just shyness in my place and I want to be that example by pretending to be that example. Now, after listening to the ENFP segment, I was actually just imagining myself as many things like a good student, a productive person, and finally, an introvert. And then when you guys explained Te as trying to do those things, it all just made sense. I imagined myself as an introvert, made steps to "be" an introvert. I imagined myself as the productive ESTJ, I tried to do many tasks, specifically assignments, in one day but then I forgot to to this consistently (Child Te baby Si?). I just did so much things without knowing I did those things. Until now, even if I said that I think I am an enfp, many evidences that I remember (Si?) just come in and then my mind says "But look. You can relate to the Fi and Si loop." Yeah it's pretty sad, but I can probably come in to terms with being an extrovert.
Awesome to hear your analysis on all the different loops. As an ISTP, all I hear anyone talk about is the Ni-Ti loop as if no other Mbti types suffer this problem.
Ok first off I'm dumb I'm an ISFP who thought he was INFP whoops. Fi/Ni loop is dwelling on a negative thought or perception that leads to paranoia and ultimately drives you crazy. It can be thinking of a better future hating the now and feeling stuck but it's mainly dwelling on negative perceptions.
Ya sure ya ain't INFJ? because they also have the Ni-Fi loop and there is frequent mistyping between INFP and INFJ except it can also be that Ni believes it sees a pantern in say a loved one that seems to imply that said loved one thinks they are annoying don't appreciate them and because it may be too awkward to ask they instead try to think the problem away with Ti but can't because it is Ti child and child is innocent and can't draw any conclusion but the correct one based on the "Facts" Ni gave it, meanwhile Fi critic is constantly telling you that you are meaningless and no one cares about you. it's a baaaad loop that if not broken out of easily can lead to one of them notorious door slams or if they can't live with the thought of that person out of your life, suicide...
I feel like calling Fi "morals" is what holds us Fi users back, just look at Fi as things that you personally value without outside influence. If you call Fi morals, you ,might try to be morally perfect ALL the time, and that is impossible, and btw taxing.
My dad is ENFJ and he’s the most emotionally reactive person I know, for good and also bad emotions lol. I’m INFJ and I self-regulate a lot more, now I see why thanks to ur vid when I ask him “why r u reacting so much dad?” That’s my Ti kicking in when we argue lol. He confronts everything and everyone and his arguments are itrational-inferior Ti. I feel blessed having my Ti just one level up, tho my INTJ hubby and I both know how little Ti logic I actually have. 😂 I’m much more Ni Fe for now (just turned 30). Now I know my dad just doesn’t have the Ti the way I do and it’s his Se at work. Se always addresses what’s happening and is fearless.
luv u guys, u brighten up my day(nite)...U're right re ENFP(me) : no commitment & wanting to DO IT ALL, ALL AT ONCE...I'll take ur advice when trying to narrow it down(ew, that scares me). Ur friend wanting monogamy, but interested in the polygamy actually makes sense to me.... Oh the woes of an ENFP....................................................
I am a ENFJ and have rough hours for work. I fall into my Fe/See loop hard when I am out with other people. I fall into a second dimension of having fun as a group, being (not the life of the party) a flame that keeps it going. In this state I am down for anything and want to connect with everyone. I am unable to draw empathic boundaries and am feeling everything. I almost become a vessel of self relfection for others or of hedonistic debauchery (sometimes both). In this state I forget all of my classical/responsible commitments (e.g. my need for sleep or predetermined desires). I lose myself, people love me, and it is beautiful ... Until I have to wake up for work, nothing I wanted to accomplish was done, and I analyzed someone's life so accurately I have made a new friend that know nothing about. This loop is an ENFJ greatest strength (their effortless cool/genuine nature/seduction) and their worst enemy. They are that because they unlocked their empathic ability (many times on accident), fell into a loop, and your emotions guided them to that state.
I have a hard time disrupting my plans when someone asks for help , more so with my close family members. In things that are not an emergency, my first reaction is to say no, and then I start trying to fit what they need into my plan according to importance. -ENFJ
As an INFJ, when I doorslam, I won't communicate what I feel because I don't want to hurt that person or myself anymore. When I loop it's really like I am trying to think of how a certain situation will turn out or I get really philosophical and existential, probably both XD. Fi can get pretty strong after a long loop and that is when things get really depressing, like there is no hope, the world is doomed kind of stuff.
Can lead to a deeeeeep depression when that Ni-Ti loop is desperately trying to analyse something that bums you out (triggers your Fi critic) and going full introvert prevents you from gaining new information through Fe which can lead to a pretty vicious cycle. got out of one recently that has lasted for weeks or more, that entire time i had bottled it up and had not spoken to anyone about it and just mulled it over in my head over and over and over and over and over again expecting a different result. it basically made me go insane according to Einstein's definition of insanity. the thing that saved me was realizing i had been miss-typed as INFP and when i finally watched a video about INFJ's because i was curious i learnt of this pantern of thought and immediately recognized it and snapped out of it. from that point over i know that all i need to snap out of a depressive mood is collect more information by fact checking myself against others with Fe so i don't overthink myself into grand depressing delusions. cause they get bad. real bad. because with some other types (i imagine, don't really know) you can push it away by saying to yourself that its just emotions and its not that bad but because of Ti child you make yourself believe that whats buming you out is not feelings but facts and logic "an dey can't be wrong rite?" (read in stupid voice). You need to realize that you are being stupid and that's pretty tough for Ti child to swallow so Ti child might not even listen to Fe if you are not talking with someone you trust and you might even start to distrust them and even if Ti listens it might throw a temper tantrum before realizing the depth of the stupidity you have just wasted maybe weeks of mental gymnastics on.
Fun fact, such grand depressive delusions and possibly Ti not listening when called out may be cause of many of undeserved door-slam AKA the toxic door slam compared to the healthy one that is used to end genuinely toxic influences. INFJ's need to cut toxic out Because we are mirrors and try to fit in desperately. if we don't end the poisoning of our well we will become just as toxic as the influences on us. Feel free to compare the Ni-Ti loop to a mirror looking at a mirror and trying to mirror creating an infinite hallway of depression. we need someone or multiple people to keep us feed with praise and constructive criticism or we will start to try and figure it out on our own. good luck with that...
So either they were stuck in a logic and emotion(due to Fi critic #DubbleWammy) feedback loop that they concluded often wrongly (but not necessarily) you are the cause of or alternatively you were actually being a toxic influence and they tried to make you stop but failed and thus resorted to door slamming you.
Hey just wanted to say I really appreciate your guys videos. Both of you bounce ideas off each other so well it makes for really interesting points and discussions. Thanks for doing what you're doing
As an ISFJ, for me it’s not necessarily about moving on from the past but more so using past experience to determine how I’ll act/what to do or not do in the present and future. So what Calypso is saying is pretty accurate! I don’t think it’s necessarily that people think traditional is a bad thing, but just not the most accurate term (and is probably a big factor in mistypes). Preference is a more accurate word than tradition as, at least for me, Si focuses on past experience. For example, if an ISFJ grows up in and enjoys societal tradition, I assume the traditional stereotype would be more fitting. However, not every ISFJ is entirely traditional. I plan to make a video talking more about this, but for me it’s more so focused on preserving my own past experience - not necessarily just society’s. (Though, in all fairness, I do enjoy a good museum or visit to a historic site. 🤗) Using the preference idea you guys talked about, I more so would prefer to recreate/preserve positive experiences from my past while changing the things that didn’t work/resulted in negative experiences. And I totally agree about ISFJ finding a way of editing that works and sticking with it. If something works, I’ll definitely reuse it and don’t always notice if it gets boring or predictable to others. Ne inferior problems. 🤷🏻♀️ 😂
Usually doorslam happend because we endure too much to create harmony where others might already have left or communicated it. The thing is that INFJs tend to attract narcissistic people. It's not possible to communicate with them in a mature manner. So, there you have it: Going No Contact as it is suggested to all who deal with toxic relationships is basically the doorslam.
There were most likely warnings, albeit subtle to your own biased perception ( which we all have to a vast degree, and in different intensity ), and you didn't pick up on his or her cues, that something is wrong. But yeah it can seem like no warning, when one hasn't been truly involved, but self absorbed instead, which is also typical for most people. Not saying this in a bad way at all, just to let you know, that there are EVIDENT things and reasons for INFJs to do what they do in these situations.
Is it okay to be an ENFP and relate to the INFP loop more? haha I'm not a very balanced person, so I kinda have two dominant modes of extreme ENFP or INFP. Great video!
I really identify with what Calypso said about Fi-Si loop.. wah I totally do that with jobs, my mum gets so annoyed with me cause I'm always complaining about how unfulfilled I am but reject all the things I could actually do to reach my goal because it's not RIGHT!
I feel like Si is more natural for the INxP because of its introverted nature, and it causes us to skip over Ne and makes us feel trapped in analysis paralysis.
i am 22, male and INFP.. i am stuck in loop about my future and career related thoughts, my past decisions, mistakes.. and it is already resulted in depression and social anxiety..and suiside thoughts also..its 2:36 am here in india..now i cannot sleep.😳 i keep fighting..i watch movies, series..i do treking,hiking..and i love that.. but i keep asking myself..How i became like this..? we become INFP or we born as INFP ..??is INFP a real thing..? i know i did some mistakes, but now its getting realy hard😓i feel exactly all you said so so so much relatable..but now i am afraid more😳
Your personality is decided mostly from the say you were born. Growning up you just mature. For example an INFP when younger would be over emotional and dopey. But as you mature you learn to deal with these aspects of yourself and become more well rounded (if you are emotionally healthy). The best thing is to realise these tests don't define you rather just explain how your brain's thought process works.
Another part of Fu/Si loop I believe (or it might just be ADHD): Having to pause this video to consider “How does what they just said fit into my perception of MBTI types/the people I know?”
My hypothesis is that types stuck in a hero-child loop tend to resemble inferior versions of their (intro/extro inverted) subconscious type. So instead of an INFJ being like an ESTP (who they really want to grow into), they'd be more like an inferior version of an ISTP.
I really loved this video! I can definitely relate to the fi si loop. I feel glad that you mentioned how to break out of the loop. Sorry I may have missed it but have you done any videos comparing the mbti to other popular personality theories? Like I've seen people match up mbti types to different temperaments/elements from the four ancient temperaments theory and it's so cool the parallels people come up with. I think you two may enjoy it.
There seems to be an error regarding ESFP, and in the companion video, ESTP. It's said that in a loop that begins with Se the person gets lost in too many possibilities. But too many possibilities would go with an Ne lead. An Se lead loop would experience a sort of physical restlessness.
Do you realise how offensive you are coming out for INFJ? Telling me that I am incompetent and that I don't know what I want is a huge mistake. I strive on logic, I am not a peacemaker. I just know how to empathise with others. Your so called "conspiracy theories" are logical to many more types than you can think of. A lot of my ENTP friends believe that there's something messy behind the scenes. And same goes for other types.
She's clearly utilizing her more dominant function of Fi. her Te is inferior and underdeveloped. This would remind her of her outward appearance and to ensure that it is line with what she is doing in real time, i.e. video recording which will be accessible to the world. The INTJ clearly has command of her Te and is dressed appropriately and presentable. This doesn't have anything to do with Pandas....
![Jack Harlow - Hello Miss Johnson [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Q86_nlRoIGw/mqdefault.jpg)
Timestamps (even thought it is at the top of video)
0:47 - ISFJ
3:29 - ESFJ
5:14 - INFJ
7:14 - ENFJ
9:26 - ISFP
10:20 - ESFP
11:50 - INFP
13:44 - ENFP
You are a lifesaver.. Well timesaver. Thank you
Infp's loop is sitting in their mom and dads house drinking beer and reminiscing about old relationship,lisining to the same songs and going to the same resturants they have been going to their whole lives. Avoiding new people at all costs.
Boby Rob I have been wanting to drive through my old Neighborhood to bring back memories and sensations of the past.
Charles Benson infp I take it? Sounds about right. My buddy likes to do that and walk down memory lane a bunch as well. I would definitely say he's in the loop and keeps trying to analyze the past and misses new opportunities as well. You ever find yourself in that?
-_-
I reminisce too but it's involuntary because it's about stupid stuff I did or said and I try to forget. I despise thinking about the past because I only remember to correct the future but I don't really wanna know I used to be wrong.
Kinda accurate... My infp ex boyfriend is basically in FiSi loop and he's trying to get back old dreams or relationships that already have failed... :/
FI SI is like living in a horror movie of your past and never being able to escape
Also INFP Fi_Si lop, you can get stuck in thinking that the way you have been in the past is the way you will always be and you won't ever change or improve, like if you are currently lazy you use past examples to prove that you have always been lazy and will always be lazy and it won't ever change, it's who you are.
YES
As an INFJ, when I’m unhealthy I get really hung up on the ‘truth’ and try to correct everyone. I get really rigid but it’s all logical behaviour to me... people should avoid me when I’m looping for their own good :)
Ps I view door slamming as a usually healthy mechanism. When I door slam someone I have attempted to tell them what’s wrong - yet they continue to violate personal boundaries and (insert problem here etc etc). They show no signs of change and i need to cut them off for my own good.
HOWEVER,
When I’m Looping, everybody I have doubts about are scrutinised under my lens and any behaviour is taken as a reason to disparage a person as toxic etc (oh the irony). I attempt to doorslam but it ultimately fails because Fe will kick in eventually and show sense into me again.
Thanks for reading this extremely long comment XD
Rachel Holden That's interesting as it slightly resembles the Ni-Fi-loop.
If I come to develop hatred towards an another person and turn inwards, I sometimes tend to curse his/her tale and imagine his/her unevitable doom over and over again, which gives me content.
You see Ni being first steers the loop deep into visions. You become unmotivated in the surrounding world (even more than before) becuse you're unable to act without violating your ideal story of life. You just stand on the brim of your mind watching goblins having a merry feast on your sanity.
Anyhow, both imagination and values are important in the great scheme. And the logical functionality and its realisations as well.
Thanks for that insight. I'm guessing once that Ni-Fi loop is set, there's no changing it or ways to return back to sanity, right? There's this man I suspected may be INTJ, but your comment helps confirm it. He acted just like you described, and I really don't understand what I did to p*ss him off (other than he crossed some boundaries a year ago and did stuff that needed to be reported to management.) I was willing to try "forgive and forget" the following gardening season and he seemed to have overcome it too. But then something happened beyond my awareness and he turned on me. Told me never to talk to him again. So I was (as fine with it as Fe could take) but he just continued to throw insults at me and talk to others about wanting to cause physical harm. This scared me. Plus I feel it is unbalanced. If the guy doesn't want me to talk to him, then I expect the same in return. Not have it one way. That's just abusive. And no I don't want to deal with this person. Would like to INFJ style slam the door on him, but he's part of the same community I am in, thus will have to be dealt with, as he's kind of become toxic to others in the community as well.
Interesting, I think INTJs are very prone to develop unhealthy relationships with the world. Especially, if they are turbulent and impulsive. Took a while for me to figure out my type because I'm so dreamy and so (and Fe trolling all the way (no offence, of course)).
It seem like your coworker is in some phase of emotional development or so. I'm not good at guessing underdeveloped types' moods, he might be dealing with anything. Hatred and introversion do not cure him, although they may help him. Just look at Nietsche, he turned inwards and hated people for the rest of his life.
However, I don't say that getting out couldn't be possible. In the contrary, INTJs are generally receptive towards change. Options, I believe is the key here. INTJ has to recognise that he has the possibility to criticise everything and everyone or just lay back and observe. New stories, new viewpoints. Concrete details in the scheme, you know that Ni-Te.
I'm just barely adult myself, but I'm glad to perhaps become a part of the story.
Thanks for sharing. Yeah I hope the best. I don't mind sarcasm and jokes. It's outright hatred that bothers me. It's worse. He's not a coworker but someone who lives in the same apartment building. (and his age, he's like 40+ years old and should know better.) I felt bad for him/ wanted us to work together with the community garden, but he came on me kind of strong, perhaps mistaking my Fe friendliness as a potential romantic interest. He also didn't want to listen to any advice, thinking that he knew better. Where it came to a head was in April, he wanted to plant his pepper plants from his apartment into the garden bed outside, a day before expected snow. (we're in MN zone 4 and May/June is when peppers "should" be planted.) I warned him the weather could kill his plants, but he insisted I bring down the garden hose for him to start. I figured people learn best from experience so I brought the hose down and he planted his peppers. Within a day it snowed and killed the peppers he planted. I did kind of tease him asking how his peppers went. That was when he got all angry and never looked back. I didn't think the anger was worth it. If I had known I wouldn't have teased. I fear maybe his reasoning was that I caused it to snow or that I killed his peppers. Who knows.
Before he turned enemy on me, he wanted to invite me up to his place or take me in his friend's car to work on garden related stuff, and I felt very uncomfortable with that idea, not knowing either him or his friend. I tried to tell him kindly, but I suspect he didn't take it well. He probably saw it as a rejection and lack of trust, but if he wanted more than a friend, then yeah it was. He also showed his competitive streak, did a very good job knowing what to do to stake tomatoes and come up with barriers to keep animals out. He did a great job in the garden, got a lot of vegetables growing. I tried to offer him praise for his efforts, but he snapped back rather loudly in front of the public that he didn't have to talk to "her".
I just hope that he can simmer down and be more cooperative. I really need to see if I can call for some kind of mediation program and see if that would help. My fear is that he'll see it as invasive, but at the same time as a garden mentor in the program I have a responsibility that I need to start upholding. So...yeah know what I need to do, but taking action on the plan I'm dreading, but I know it likely won't get better without intervention.
Some people are just more indifferent of others feelings, regardless of age.
Gotta wish you wisdom in thinking outside the box. Maybe you should talk to more people.
ENFP loop is really erratic lol We need discipline!
9:45 suuuuuuuuuper accurate re: ISFP. I have all sorts of ideas I obsess with and then don’t get around to doing out of fear or insecurity. And it is SO FRUSTRATING.
Infj here, I've been thinking of the infamous door slam that we are so known for and I think it's strange that people find it so shocking. The only times I've ever done this was after time and time and time again getting mistreated by friends and family members untill it gets so bad that I have no other choice. I'd like to be very clear in that I would talk to them about the issues but nothing was happening for the better. I'm pretty sure the name for this would be "toxic friends".Honestly I let those relationships go on for much longer than I should have. I may care for others but I'm not a door mat. Also, I don't make a habit out of this I've only officially "door slammed" just a few people throughout my lifetime one of which we became friends again later in life and we have both changed for the better.
SAME. I really have just done it to like 3 or 4 people in my life, in was such a hard decision to make, it hurted badly.
My loop is taking shifts from anyone who asks only to realize I’ve given up all of my time to everyone else and being exhausted at the end of the week, feeling dejected because no one ever does the same for me, and then starting over again... -ENFJ
But at least you got that bread... right?
Alex hit the nail on the head, with ISFJ being stuck analyzing in the past. I just had a conversation connecting with someone to break out of it.
- ISFJ also named Alex
This is spot on, and you nailed the solution for INFJs. That's exactly the solution I turn to - go to a concert, play a video game, or visit a friend. Calling them isn't a strong enough to end Ni-Ti. There really needs to be some sort of Se rooting process haha. Although, with the doorslam, it usually happens after a long history of an abusive or exhaustive pattern has been established. So it's usually healthier than not.
Yeah you are right about that miss Author! :)
I'm dying, 6:52 "And suddenly.." *giggle giggle* "You're out of their life forever! ...." *silent and continued enthusiasm* my favorite part of the entire video!!!
The problem for ENFPs is that our loop is basically triggered by a cup of coffee.
ISFJ Here. In addition, I think the loop manifests as me analyzing the facts and details and trying to draw individual conclusions with my Ti. I know I do this in college when I study.
as a male infp,i tend to have deep emotions but as a male i never show other guys that i have emotions other wise they take advantage of you,s
benny hinn
Not at all, unless you have absolute shit friends. Men happen to have feelings too. I show my feeling and my friends are appreciative of the authenticity. A few months ago, I opened up about my problems and they opened up about theirs.
It turns out we all have had very rough pasts. We would’ve have known if we hasn’t let those feelings out, and we’re closer because of it.
As an ENFP, I've had a central dream and a college I want to go to, but after college I can see so many possibilities that I've got no idea and I'm just hoping I figure it out when I get there. I could see myself teaching, but I have a deep passion for music so I also really want to perform. I want to influence people in the way a teacher does, but I also want to have a life full of performing and I'm constantly torn. I've considered being a performer and then once I retire teaching on the side. A part of me wants to be a guidance counselor but I just know the monotony would absolute drive me insane.
Thank you! This was so much fun, as well as informative! (though for me, informative and fun are often one in the same lol) I know that for me, as an INFJ, my unhealthy looping usually comes after getting burnt out on my Fe, so I double down on (what I consider to be) The Facts(TM), which gives emotional distance and an ability to very strongly not care about people or things. For example, "That's just what that person does, they're not going to change." or "I tried these things and they didn't work, it's no longer in my hands." etc. Sometimes, a trait I dislike about a person just becomes A Fact, which is unchangeable and neither good nor bad, it's just who they are, even if it's something as fluid as "selfish". How can you be mad at someone who stabs you in the back if they are inherently selfish? It's just who they are, the fault lies in trusting them in the first place. If you put a fox in the hen house you can't be mad when it kills the chickens. Next time, I'll just need to pay more attention and see it coming in advance. That kind of thing. It's defensive thinking because it takes the control away from them (sometimes reducing them into very basic components), and puts it with my ability to predict and control the situation in advance. Which isn't great for trusting people, or for viewing people with as much agency as they probably deserve, so it's definitely an unhealthy looping thing. It's also something I definitely need to work on, it's hard to reclaim that empathy and human relatability when your Fe has jumped ship lol.
I can definitely relate to this. The constant maneuvering I'm doing in my mind to dodge any potential folly usually leaves me overwhelmed during and after an interaction with friends. I'm starting to get the impression that I am in an Ni Ti loop that I'm not sure how to get out of. I appreciate their advise but it's something I need to think about as I still don't fully understand. It seems to me like the Ni Ti loop resembles paranoia.
INFP: Thanks for clarifying and sharing your experience of tertiary Ti!
I like how I can see the preparedness of the INTJ and INFP. Nice video ladies.
Unfortunately, I have some internal resistance of being an extrovert. I just heard that extroverts are generally represented as "careless." What I mean by careless is just they are not serious in life, loving short term things while I don't agree to that, and I hate that association at least in my city. I just want to end this association that introverts are just shyness in my place and I want to be that example by pretending to be that example. Now, after listening to the ENFP segment, I was actually just imagining myself as many things like a good student, a productive person, and finally, an introvert. And then when you guys explained Te as trying to do those things, it all just made sense. I imagined myself as an introvert, made steps to "be" an introvert. I imagined myself as the productive ESTJ, I tried to do many tasks, specifically assignments, in one day but then I forgot to to this consistently (Child Te baby Si?). I just did so much things without knowing I did those things. Until now, even if I said that I think I am an enfp, many evidences that I remember (Si?) just come in and then my mind says "But look. You can relate to the Fi and Si loop." Yeah it's pretty sad, but I can probably come in to terms with being an extrovert.
Ni Ti loop is not exactly like that. You have an idea, but trust me, it is much more complicated than what you described!
Awesome to hear your analysis on all the different loops. As an ISTP, all I hear anyone talk about is the Ni-Ti loop as if no other Mbti types suffer this problem.
6:40 knowing what we know now, this makes me sad
Ok first off I'm dumb I'm an ISFP who thought he was INFP whoops. Fi/Ni loop is dwelling on a negative thought or perception that leads to paranoia and ultimately drives you crazy. It can be thinking of a better future hating the now and feeling stuck but it's mainly dwelling on negative perceptions.
Ya sure ya ain't INFJ? because they also have the Ni-Fi loop and there is frequent mistyping between INFP and INFJ except it can also be that Ni believes it sees a pantern in say a loved one that seems to imply that said loved one thinks they are annoying don't appreciate them and because it may be too awkward to ask they instead try to think the problem away with Ti but can't because it is Ti child and child is innocent and can't draw any conclusion but the correct one based on the "Facts" Ni gave it, meanwhile Fi critic is constantly telling you that you are meaningless and no one cares about you. it's a baaaad loop that if not broken out of easily can lead to one of them notorious door slams or if they can't live with the thought of that person out of your life, suicide...
So it's basically the difference between analysing the last vs striving/driving yourself crazy over a better future? Interesting.
I def relate to both of your descriptions of infp loop😊❤
I feel like calling Fi "morals" is what holds us Fi users back, just look at Fi as things that you personally value without outside influence. If you call Fi morals, you ,might try to be morally perfect ALL the time, and that is impossible, and btw taxing.
Yeah and it isn't REALLY even moral in a true state of the word anyway. It is biased, like all judging functions
Agree and agree!
My dad is ENFJ and he’s the most emotionally reactive person I know, for good and also bad emotions lol. I’m INFJ and I self-regulate a lot more, now I see why thanks to ur vid when I ask him “why r u reacting so much dad?” That’s my Ti kicking in when we argue lol. He confronts everything and everyone and his arguments are itrational-inferior Ti. I feel blessed having my Ti just one level up, tho my INTJ hubby and I both know how little Ti logic I actually have. 😂 I’m much more Ni Fe for now (just turned 30). Now I know my dad just doesn’t have the Ti the way I do and it’s his Se at work. Se always addresses what’s happening and is fearless.
luv u guys, u brighten up my day(nite)...U're right re ENFP(me) : no commitment & wanting to DO IT ALL, ALL AT ONCE...I'll take ur advice when trying to narrow it down(ew, that scares me). Ur friend wanting monogamy, but interested in the polygamy actually makes sense to me.... Oh the woes of an ENFP....................................................
I am a ENFJ and have rough hours for work. I fall into my Fe/See loop hard when I am out with other people. I fall into a second dimension of having fun as a group, being (not the life of the party) a flame that keeps it going. In this state I am down for anything and want to connect with everyone. I am unable to draw empathic boundaries and am feeling everything. I almost become a vessel of self relfection for others or of hedonistic debauchery (sometimes both). In this state I forget all of my classical/responsible commitments (e.g. my need for sleep or predetermined desires). I lose myself, people love me, and it is beautiful ... Until I have to wake up for work, nothing I wanted to accomplish was done, and I analyzed someone's life so accurately I have made a new friend that know nothing about. This loop is an ENFJ greatest strength (their effortless cool/genuine nature/seduction) and their worst enemy. They are that because they unlocked their empathic ability (many times on accident), fell into a loop, and your emotions guided them to that state.
I have a hard time disrupting my plans when someone asks for help , more so with my close family members. In things that are not an emergency, my first reaction is to say no, and then I start trying to fit what they need into my plan according to importance. -ENFJ
As an INFJ, when I doorslam, I won't communicate what I feel because I don't want to hurt that person or myself anymore. When I loop it's really like I am trying to think of how a certain situation will turn out or I get really philosophical and existential, probably both XD. Fi can get pretty strong after a long loop and that is when things get really depressing, like there is no hope, the world is doomed kind of stuff.
This comment is so good Genesis :)
Can lead to a deeeeeep depression when that Ni-Ti loop is desperately trying to analyse something that bums you out (triggers your Fi critic) and going full introvert prevents you from gaining new information through Fe which can lead to a pretty vicious cycle. got out of one recently that has lasted for weeks or more, that entire time i had bottled it up and had not spoken to anyone about it and just mulled it over in my head over and over and over and over and over again expecting a different result. it basically made me go insane according to Einstein's definition of insanity. the thing that saved me was realizing i had been miss-typed as INFP and when i finally watched a video about INFJ's because i was curious i learnt of this pantern of thought and immediately recognized it and snapped out of it. from that point over i know that all i need to snap out of a depressive mood is collect more information by fact checking myself against others with Fe so i don't overthink myself into grand depressing delusions. cause they get bad. real bad. because with some other types (i imagine, don't really know) you can push it away by saying to yourself that its just emotions and its not that bad but because of Ti child you make yourself believe that whats buming you out is not feelings but facts and logic "an dey can't be wrong rite?" (read in stupid voice). You need to realize that you are being stupid and that's pretty tough for Ti child to swallow so Ti child might not even listen to Fe if you are not talking with someone you trust and you might even start to distrust them and even if Ti listens it might throw a temper tantrum before realizing the depth of the stupidity you have just wasted maybe weeks of mental gymnastics on.
Fun fact, such grand depressive delusions and possibly Ti not listening when called out may be cause of many of undeserved door-slam AKA the toxic door slam compared to the healthy one that is used to end genuinely toxic influences. INFJ's need to cut toxic out Because we are mirrors and try to fit in desperately. if we don't end the poisoning of our well we will become just as toxic as the influences on us. Feel free to compare the Ni-Ti loop to a mirror looking at a mirror and trying to mirror creating an infinite hallway of depression. we need someone or multiple people to keep us feed with praise and constructive criticism or we will start to try and figure it out on our own. good luck with that...
So either they were stuck in a logic and emotion(due to Fi critic #DubbleWammy) feedback loop that they concluded often wrongly (but not necessarily) you are the cause of or alternatively you were actually being a toxic influence and they tried to make you stop but failed and thus resorted to door slamming you.
Hey just wanted to say I really appreciate your guys videos. Both of you bounce ideas off each other so well it makes for really interesting points and discussions. Thanks for doing what you're doing
Loved this video! Lots of good stuff to think about.
As an ISFJ, for me it’s not necessarily about moving on from the past but more so using past experience to determine how I’ll act/what to do or not do in the present and future. So what Calypso is saying is pretty accurate!
I don’t think it’s necessarily that people think traditional is a bad thing, but just not the most accurate term (and is probably a big factor in mistypes). Preference is a more accurate word than tradition as, at least for me, Si focuses on past experience. For example, if an ISFJ grows up in and enjoys societal tradition, I assume the traditional stereotype would be more fitting. However, not every ISFJ is entirely traditional. I plan to make a video talking more about this, but for me it’s more so focused on preserving my own past experience - not necessarily just society’s. (Though, in all fairness, I do enjoy a good museum or visit to a historic site. 🤗) Using the preference idea you guys talked about, I more so would prefer to recreate/preserve positive experiences from my past while changing the things that didn’t work/resulted in negative experiences.
And I totally agree about ISFJ finding a way of editing that works and sticking with it. If something works, I’ll definitely reuse it and don’t always notice if it gets boring or predictable to others. Ne inferior problems. 🤷🏻♀️ 😂
Ooh it'd be so cool if you made a video on that!
@@CasualCognition Thanks! Hopefully it'll be coming soon :)
Usually doorslam happend because we endure too much to create harmony where others might already have left or communicated it. The thing is that INFJs tend to attract narcissistic people. It's not possible to communicate with them in a mature manner. So, there you have it: Going No Contact as it is suggested to all who deal with toxic relationships is basically the doorslam.
OMG what you said about the INFJ not communicating struck a chord haha! INFP here, was pushed away by an INFJ with literally no warning!
There were most likely warnings, albeit subtle to your own biased perception ( which we all have to a vast degree, and in different intensity ), and you didn't pick up on his or her cues, that something is wrong.
But yeah it can seem like no warning, when one hasn't been truly involved, but self absorbed instead, which is also typical for most people.
Not saying this in a bad way at all, just to let you know, that there are EVIDENT things and reasons for INFJs to do what they do in these situations.
I think I just think too much...
Is it okay to be an ENFP and relate to the INFP loop more? haha
I'm not a very balanced person, so I kinda have two dominant modes of extreme ENFP or INFP.
Great video!
I can see how Alex's comment on INFJs could be true as I may be one and can relate.
Seems like a loopy and fun video chat. What’s in the cups? Sounds fun, but I need to drink more to tolerate it.
Wow the infp part really hit me where i lived, and the Enfp part actually not really. So i think i might have mistyped myself.
I really identify with what Calypso said about Fi-Si loop.. wah I totally do that with jobs, my mum gets so annoyed with me cause I'm always complaining about how unfulfilled I am but reject all the things I could actually do to reach my goal because it's not RIGHT!
INFJ's have Ni-Ti loop, but also Fe-Se loop on occasion. I think both are just not ideal, but Ni-Ti is more tolerable - INFJ
I feel like Si is more natural for the INxP because of its introverted nature, and it causes us to skip over Ne and makes us feel trapped in analysis paralysis.
Fi ♾️ Ni loop spot on 👌🏻
i am 22, male and INFP..
i am stuck in loop about my future and career related thoughts, my past decisions, mistakes.. and it is already resulted in depression and social anxiety..and suiside thoughts also..its 2:36 am here in india..now i cannot sleep.😳
i keep fighting..i watch movies, series..i do treking,hiking..and i love that..
but i keep asking myself..How i became like this..? we become INFP or we born as INFP ..??is INFP a real thing..?
i know i did some mistakes, but now its getting realy hard😓i feel exactly all you said so so so much relatable..but now i am afraid more😳
Your personality is decided mostly from the say you were born. Growning up you just mature. For example an INFP when younger would be over emotional and dopey. But as you mature you learn to deal with these aspects of yourself and become more well rounded (if you are emotionally healthy). The best thing is to realise these tests don't define you rather just explain how your brain's thought process works.
Another part of Fu/Si loop I believe (or it might just be ADHD):
Having to pause this video to consider “How does what they just said fit into my perception of MBTI types/the people I know?”
Unhealthy ENFP here, some ages ago I took a test and got INTP. I wonder why now I became an ENFP and actually got in a ne-te loop.
estps are always left in the corner telling jokes! that's me!
My hypothesis is that types stuck in a hero-child loop tend to resemble inferior versions of their (intro/extro inverted) subconscious type. So instead of an INFJ being like an ESTP (who they really want to grow into), they'd be more like an inferior version of an ISTP.
I really loved this video! I can definitely relate to the fi si loop. I feel glad that you mentioned how to break out of the loop. Sorry I may have missed it but have you done any videos comparing the mbti to other popular personality theories? Like I've seen people match up mbti types to different temperaments/elements from the four ancient temperaments theory and it's so cool the parallels people come up with. I think you two may enjoy it.
INFP: Thanks for the cool suggestion!
Your welcome
Haha I do the ENFJ thing a lot. But it's true. If you keep believing it.
There seems to be an error regarding ESFP, and in the companion video, ESTP. It's said that in a loop that begins with Se the person gets lost in too many possibilities. But too many possibilities would go with an Ne lead. An Se lead loop would experience a sort of physical restlessness.
guys, can you tell me your enneagram types and tritypes, please ?
INFP: I think I'm 471 and Alex is 594.
Thank you very much girls, love ya !
You look beautiful without make up
8:17 ow lol
ok now I'm 99.9% sure I'm an INFP
Infp Ne and Te is dope but WHAT THE FUCK IS FI SI
Oh, INFJs. They ARE mysterious. I know two but sometimes it feels like I only *know* one because she's more outspoken. ya know what I mean?
;) ;) ;)
They laugh too much.
Alex just repeats the obvious lines of mbti theory and doesn't really say anything original or specific that she really knows from experience...
The girl with the headphones on needs to calm down.
Do you realise how offensive you are coming out for INFJ? Telling me that I am incompetent and that I don't know what I want is a huge mistake. I strive on logic, I am not a peacemaker. I just know how to empathise with others. Your so called "conspiracy theories" are logical to many more types than you can think of. A lot of my ENTP friends believe that there's something messy behind the scenes. And same goes for other types.
Calypso and her INFP emotional outburst @6:13 @8:18
i like how sensitive this comment is
thank you for your sensitive support.
Sylvia Lopez
Don’t think she is wearing makeup. BTW who cares?
She's clearly utilizing her more dominant function of Fi. her Te is inferior and underdeveloped. This would remind her of her outward appearance and to ensure that it is line with what she is doing in real time, i.e. video recording which will be accessible to the world. The INTJ clearly has command of her Te and is dressed appropriately and presentable. This doesn't have anything to do with Pandas....
lol, Pandas are cute. But people don't look like Pandas, therefore I downed the comment. Thank you!