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I have BPD and also been diagnosed DID, and I've noticed my personality state seems to be determined by who I'm around, or what the situation has evoked. All the sudden I will realize I'm in a certain version of myself, but I can't choose it or consciously change my current presenting alter. The problem is inconsistency and instability. Other people think you are being fake or insincere, but that is not the case. It's just that each personality fragment has their own worldview, disposition, goals, values, beliefs, memories, and tendencies. What was true then in that ego state might be totally opposite of what is also true for this one. So of course that leads to identity confusion and Interpersonal relationship difficulties. Not to mention, you rarely get anything accomplished because you are constantly changing direction, essentially running in circles since your motivation and desires shift all the time. The lack of efficacy and failure to see things through does also lead to diminished self worth and a mistrust of oneself, compounding the already toxic levels of self hatred. And most people don't understand it either, so it leads to even more isolation and emptiness... This is the plight of the BPD/DID individual ...

Yeah the fear of being put in treatment is understandable. I share that fear because it doesn't help to be put in a 72 hour hold against your will and locked up in a mental institution until the psychiatrist determines you can leave, which could be much longer than you would like.

Interesting.

Any suggestions on how the people around you , that love you, can help during these times? Do we try and talk to you about these feelings or is it better to just quietly support you ? I never know what to do when my partner is going through this.

How is your relationship with drug and alcohol from BPD man to another one

I highly relate. I'm struggling with it right now.

I’m glad to hear you’re doing better now. I have BPD and studied it while obtaining my degree in Psychology. The name Borderline originally came from the description of being on the borderline between sanity and insanity when the disorder was first being studied. I like it. I think it conveys the state of BPD well- the state of being constantly on the precipice.

Thanks a bunch for addressing my suggestion Darien! While your videos may initially only have been for yourself, I'm glad you kept going. Btw, I thought you were taking a hiatus since my initial question 2 years ago and didn't realize that I missed the vids you did in the meantime because I had failed to sub to your channel 😂 (now remedied). Anyway, if it weren't for peeps like you struggling with the actual disorder/s and making these videos, we'd likely still live in the dark ages. I don't have to tell you how p/w Cluster B disorders are (still) viewed, but thanks to videos like yours, we're slowly making headway. Man, I gotta tell you that yours is the best explanation I've heard so far when it comes to the reasons for "discarding" someone (starting around the 17:24 mark, for reference)! I actually went through that myself with the (former) friend I mentioned, but I take responsibility for the part I played in it. As someone with rather low emotional empathy myself, I overlooked my friend's needs and took it too far. Back then, I didn't know sh*t about BPD, and I said something that triggered the hell out of his abandonement issues, which resulted in the discard. Had I had the information/knowledge I've since acquired, we might still be friends, who knows. Sorry for the long message, my point is that we need videos like yours, so please keep making them. Also, thanks for the book suggestion! I've heard of it but associated the title with issues I don't struggle with since I never walked on eggshells or felt hurt by my former friend's behaviors. Good to know the book addresses communication in general, if I got you right.

I just found out I have this

You guys have no idea what you are talking about. For starters when you ask for medicinal one they would give you cbd not thc. THC and BPD is a recipe for disaster.

Read untethered soul by micheal singer

Lately, i've been switching more to edible and CBD and it really helps my anxiety and depression. Self-diagnosed BPD. But for weed, I'd be a total alcoholic or dead. I'm def an Indica guy. Growing for 40 years.

I had to recently tell mg ex to stop bringing her so called service dog over because it wasnt even trained.....i ofyen wonder if she really needed it because she would tell me she would visit others without him.....then she would dangls a carrot at times saying maybe ahe could try and come without him then she would quickly say she couldnt leave him again, hes a handful....

I have a friend who has this as well as aspergers....we had tried something ranrically but didnt work out so we tried the friendship thing but now wondering if that will even work out. Havent heard from her in almost two weeks but i just wish her the best and want to just be there to be aupportive. I knew she wasnt a bad person just dealing with this....what would your advice on that be?

You got this Duke,Love you Bruh❤💯💪🏾

You seem so kind I'm sorry I know how you feel. It is very intense. My boyfriend can play games on his day off and he seems to be ok all day. I can only play a few minutes and games don't fulfill me because it isn't real life. I actually need a vr to feel more and interact online. I even get depressed at work for no reason. I know how you feel about being empty. I was angry for a decade of my life, and now my family passed I'm sad and feeling more empty. I believe in God and I try to tell myself he's all that matters but it is hard in this physical world feeling this empty. Please write back and let me know how your feeling now

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for those with BPD traits( not diagnosed but thankfully survived it), you know the constant emptiness and boredom is insane, you're not just "oh let me play a game cuz I'm bored"... no you're so BORED that it feels like nothing in life is interesting and sometimes feels like you're constantly out of breath, the favorite person trait can actually cause u mass neglect and depression (as for me atleast), when having constant boredom and emptiness, i HAD to depend on that favorite person to not only light the MOOD, but make me have a distraction from everything else

Whenever I say "I'm bored" people take it so frustratingly lightly. I'm convinced the word "bored" means something else to other people because when I say "I'm bored" I mean: "I'm depressed, I'm hopeless, I'm angry, life means nothing, I feel nothing." When I say "I'm bored" I am crying for help. The feeling is unbearable I'm only 17 but I've been drinking whenever I can get my hands on alcohol because it's literally the only thing that is making me actually feel SOMETHING good for once. I'm so scared I will become a drug addict. Why was I born like this?!

I Love your videoes. They are so spot on. I can relate🥲

I love this video.

“I let you hurt me” I really felt that! I’ve accepted some bs because of my low self esteem or just accepting anyone into my life.

♥️ You just popped up on my feed. I think invalidating someone stems from a lack of empathy and or a defense mechanism to preserve oneself. Also some cluster bs (us) have a different reality lens, so a person may not validate you because what is happening isn’t “true” to them. Which that too can wrap back around to a lack of empathy.

YES!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

I loooove Indica strains. Indica and hybrid strains are amazing. I smoke like every twenty four hours. Weed helps calm my feels.

This video made my jaw drop. I think this is what has been "wrong" with me all this time. The loneliness, the creativity but no progress, the procrastination, the inability to relate to others, the existential dread and indifference, the impulsivity and addictions, the inability to ever have a relationship and being unlikable yet desperate for connection. Ugh. Thank you so much I am now going to contact a therapist

Same here man. I call it a "stabilizer" it puts me in a stable place. That's enough for me once my mania goes away I'm me again. THANK GOD FOR CANNABIS 💪🏼💤💤

I searched “BPD and dogs” because my fiancé has BPD and she hates dogs. Specifically my dogs. And it sucks. And I don’t know why. And she’s not the only person I have met with BPD that hates dogs. I’m in a shitty spot because I NEED my dogs because of my panic disorders. My older dog doesn’t have more than 1.5 years left and I would love to get another dog so That my younger dog has a companion (and because I fucking love dogs). I’m glad you have your dog. They’re the best creatures for people who have mental illness. Idk what I’d do without my dogs. They ground me and bring me back when I dissociate.

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I've quit 2 jobs in the last month and have been struggling to start a business from home. Don't drop your classes and don't give up! I believe in you and I'm so proud of you for carrying on!

Honestly, I've taken up SH.... Like burning myself when I feel numb and empty and bored.... It's a very unhealthy coping mechanism but the urge is there and won't go away til I burn myself

Thank you for your video! This is the first I'm hearing of splitting and it makes total sense to me now! It was happening to me and I had no idea what it was, one day i'd be like "Cigarettes are bad" and the next day "Cigarettes give me clarity and help manage the symptoms of the antipsychotics". I'm misdiagnosed Schizoaffective bipolar subtype but I NEED to get rediagnosed. Thank you for giving me clarity and truth. Hope all is going well with you

This is me today…

I heard DBT doesn't cure bpd but helps alleviate the symptoms. Bpd is who you are

Thank you!!! I love you too!!!

Keep going I know it’s hard but we got this! ❤️

I can relate to this so much :(

Marijuana is a myth bro, the plant is called Cannabis, or just call it weed. Marijuana was literally a name invented by a special American Drug Enforcement group to make weed sound more Mexican. Tijuana... Marijuana........ Anyway this group knowingly decided to demonize weed, cause their prior profession ( Alcohol Prohibition Enforcement) was terminated together with the end of prohibition. Harry Anslinger, look it up.

I have BPD myself. That being said one statement u said hit like an arrow in my heart, HOW exhausting it is to deal with this disorder daily in your life.This video speaks of the anger but that anger is combined with other traits oh so hard to deal with. Carried literally second by second constantly, CONSTANTLY! Not to say all people are not responsible for their behavior but sufferers of BPD are not using it as an excuse for any of their hurtful traits that cause pain for the people they love or anyone else. Believe me the pain is double sided. So much shame n pain follows after my emotions times 1000 return to baseline. I tell myself it will never happen again but as explained in this video it does.Long comment but desperately want people to know that BPD drains the life out of one's self to an extent that it's hard to even live one. Readers be informed about this much misunderstood condition and BPD sufferers never give up! Much Love ❤

So glad I found this channel. Representation matters and it means a lot to see another Black man sharing his journey with BPD. Also…ur cute 😎

Relatable. Also have BPD. Boredom and emptiness are some of the biggest problems for me as well. It’s frustrating when doing things that are normally fun and entertaining, and they are just not doing it all and you just kinda sit there feeling awful

Relationships are so hard esp w bpd but I fr love love. 😍 thank you for your content and vulnerability. Wishing you the best of days.

Thank you for this. 💛

Thank you for sharing your journey . I think you have amazing strength to keep getting up every time you fall. You are fighting against something that is mush stronger than the average person has to fight with. I’m rooting for you and sending my love. If you haven’t already, please look up Tim Fletcher and see if it helps you heal some more. You are a beautiful person.

Thank you so much for sharing your true authentic self! Your sharing makes me understand someone who l love deeply and try to understand especially when his moods flip so easily. I try not to take it so personally and have been researching BPD. Thank you so much! 🙏❤

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable, luv ur perspective.

Welcome back bro

You are stronger than you think!!🙌🏾🤌🏾

Good to see you!

“Really have to pee.. so that’s happening” relatable!