Ken Howard, LCSW, CST - GayTherapyLA
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST - GayTherapyLA
  • Видео 146
  • Просмотров 159 211

Видео

Special Bonus Episode: In Defense of Hate: Understanding the Modern American Conservative
Просмотров 1517 часов назад
In this re-reading of his November 2, 2016 blog article, Ken revisits an analysis of the Modern American Conservative, Republican/Trump Supporters, on the eve of the 2024 election, and how the 2016 warning is a lesson for today.
Gay Men and the Need for Attention: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Narcissism
Просмотров 18723 часа назад
Ken discusses gay men and the need for attention; healthy vs. unhealthy narcissism; inclusion and exclusion from gay groups; and practical tips for meeting guys in gay social settings.
Episode 156: Netflix’s “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story” - Insights from a...
Просмотров 122Месяц назад
Ken discusses Netflix's "Monster: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" and its themes of notoriety, abuse, and healing, and applies these in the context of gay male adult sexual trauma and abuse survivors.
Episode 156: Netflix’s “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story” - Insights from a...
Просмотров 134Месяц назад
Ken discusses Netflix's "Monster: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story" and its themes of notoriety, abuse, and healing, and applies these in the context of gay male adult sexual trauma and abuse survivors.
Episode 154: Supporting Gay Men Leaving Religion: Reclaiming Your Identity with Secular...
Просмотров 29Месяц назад
Ken teaches about supporting gay men leaving religion and reclaiming their identity with secular alternatives, free of religious abuse and embracing secular solace or an affirmative tradition that works for them.
Episode 154: Supporting Gay Men Leaving Religion: Reclaiming Your Identity with Secular...
Просмотров 34Месяц назад
Ken teaches about supporting gay men leaving religion and reclaiming their identity with secular alternatives, free of religious abuse and embracing secular solace or an affirmative tradition that works for them.
Episode 153: How to Survive Election Season: Coping with Election Anxiety
Просмотров 422 месяца назад
Ken gives tips and "modules" for coping with election anxiety in this 2024 election season, and how to cope with anxiety symptoms, increase self-empowerment, and practice compassionate self-support.
Episode 152: Gay Men and Internal Family Systems: The Different Parts of You
Просмотров 3393 месяца назад
Ken describes how IFS, Internal Family Systems, a model of evidence-based psychotherapy, can apply to gay men to help you integrate the different parts of you into a cohesive, confident sense of Self.
Gay Men's Dating: What Your Dates Aren't Telling You
Просмотров 10 тыс.3 месяца назад
Ken gives tips for gay men's dating on what gay men complain about their dates to their therapist or their friends, and what to do about them.
Episode 149: Confronting Religious Moralism in Therapy for Gay Men
Просмотров 2635 месяцев назад
Ken discusses the subtle and insidious ways that religious moralism undermines professional mental health services delivery (psychotherapy) for the broader LGBTQ community and more specifically for gay men, and how to counter this.
Episode 148: How to Get Your Financial Life Together: A Guide for Gay Men
Просмотров 1326 месяцев назад
Ken reviews the psychological, clinical dynamics of money management, planning aspects of your financial life, and how to talk to the people in your life to reduce financial anxiety and support long-term financial stability.
Episode 147: Gay Men and How to Recover from a Breakup
Просмотров 1456 месяцев назад
Based on his 32 years as a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives 21 tips for gay men and how to recover from a breakup.
Episode 147: Gay Men and How to Recover from a Breakup
Просмотров 826 месяцев назад
Based on his 32 years as a gay men's specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and coach, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST gives 21 tips for gay men and how to recover from a breakup.
Episode 146: Gay Men and Starting Your Own Business
Просмотров 1137 месяцев назад
Ken gives guidance on gay men and starting your own business, based on his own experience owning a business for over 25 years, and providing career/executive coaching to the Gay Male Solo Entpreneur, a preview of his upcoming e-course.
Episode 146: Gay Men and Starting Your Own Business
Просмотров 667 месяцев назад
Episode 146: Gay Men and Starting Your Own Business
Episode 144: Gay Men and Wealth: Coping with Rewards and Challenges
Просмотров 1848 месяцев назад
Episode 144: Gay Men and Wealth: Coping with Rewards and Challenges
Episode 142: Gay Men and the Emotional Benefits of Kink Play
Просмотров 2899 месяцев назад
Episode 142: Gay Men and the Emotional Benefits of Kink Play
Episode 139: Gay Men and Santa Daddy
Просмотров 29910 месяцев назад
Episode 139: Gay Men and Santa Daddy
Episode 137: Gay Men and Spirituality: Reclaiming Your Rights
Просмотров 25211 месяцев назад
Episode 137: Gay Men and Spirituality: Reclaiming Your Rights
Episode 136: What Is Daily Mental Health for Gay Men?
Просмотров 304Год назад
Episode 136: What Is Daily Mental Health for Gay Men?
Episode 135: Top 10 Reasons Gay Couples Break Up and How to Prevent Them
Просмотров 401Год назад
Episode 135: Top 10 Reasons Gay Couples Break Up and How to Prevent Them
Episode 133: Gay Men, Dating Challenges, and How to Cope with Them
Просмотров 479Год назад
Episode 133: Gay Men, Dating Challenges, and How to Cope with Them
Episode 132: Lessons for Gay Men from the 'On the Boulevard' Musical
Просмотров 42Год назад
Episode 132: Lessons for Gay Men from the 'On the Boulevard' Musical
Episode 131: The Economics of Gay Male Relationships: Time, Energy, Money
Просмотров 284Год назад
Episode 131: The Economics of Gay Male Relationships: Time, Energy, Money
Episode 130: Gay Men and Knowing Your Sexual Self
Просмотров 7 тыс.Год назад
Episode 130: Gay Men and Knowing Your Sexual Self
Episode 129: Correction Announcement for Audio File
Просмотров 33Год назад
Episode 129: Correction Announcement for Audio File
Episode 129: Gay Men and Superheroes as Role Models
Просмотров 84Год назад
Episode 129: Gay Men and Superheroes as Role Models
Episode 128: Gay Men and Moving On in Life After Trauma
Просмотров 146Год назад
Episode 128: Gay Men and Moving On in Life After Trauma
Episode 127: Balance and Reciprocity in Gay Men's Dating and Relationships
Просмотров 301Год назад
Episode 127: Balance and Reciprocity in Gay Men's Dating and Relationships

Комментарии

  • @AmericanRX
    @AmericanRX 9 часов назад

    I'm pan so not necessarily gay, but I'm looking at these videos to gain some insight on the topic. Been finding myself with a lot of male close friends who are open to relationships etc.

  • @MrMADONNACOLLECTOR
    @MrMADONNACOLLECTOR 9 дней назад

    "Second best is never enough, you'll do much better, baby, on your own." If my partner brought this up, I'd let him go right then and there and wish him the best. It is something he needs in order to function in a relationship and I'm not hanging around to find out it's happening behind my back because i don't agree with it.

  • @ronsmith2241
    @ronsmith2241 11 дней назад

    I am a side.

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 15 дней назад

    22:38 deliberate without deliberation lol.. has a ring to it 😂

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 15 дней назад

    Interesting topic 👍😃. As for era we are living in I've heard it descr as a parallel to the Vietnam War early 1970s maybe.. but I don't know what that term means for gay culture.. politically with protests and uncertainty and possibility of change it feels as if it may be fairly accurate..?

  • @gustavozaiah
    @gustavozaiah 20 дней назад

    I’m 31 and started to date a 21 years old.

  • @MarkSummers-g2n
    @MarkSummers-g2n 25 дней назад

    i want to meet a man who does not look like my father

  • @danielimmortuos666
    @danielimmortuos666 Месяц назад

    Some pretty great advice. Thank u

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 Месяц назад

    Hi buddy, I think you've left some info eg yr number on at start of video from prior consult so is overlapped with video..? 😉

  • @vyrvidomb
    @vyrvidomb Месяц назад

    this is amazing. thank you so much! i feel better now :)

  • @keithkessler3761
    @keithkessler3761 2 месяца назад

    I love it: consenting adults have a right to form any relationships they want

  • @Normanx964
    @Normanx964 2 месяца назад

    Rehab centers are a scam. They use 12 step cult religion as treatment and cultivate guilt and shame as tools. Lots of repetitive dogma. They say being an addict is for life. Thats a lie.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA Месяц назад

      I tend to agree; I bring a lot of "critical thinking" to rehab centers as a resource. I think they are often way too commercial. We (providers/professionals) always have to make a living/livelihood, but I think the "famous rehabs" at $40,000 a month or whatever are taking advantage. I know for a fact some of them commit insurance fraud and make tons of money; I don't do that, I'm kind of a "boy scout" for ethics, but that's just me and my value system. I don't have the vacation home or whatever, but I have a clearer conscience (LOL). When someone has a drug or alcohol problem, I've helped lot of guys with this, with or without 12-Step (although there is a noticeable pattern that the ones who do "some" form of program fare better), and a lot of (sustained) recovery can be achieved in "just" outpatient psychotherapy; I know, because I've done this a lot in my career (over 30 years). This is a big topic with lots of layers to it. Thanks for listening to the show, by the way.

  • @gaybriellookingland6756
    @gaybriellookingland6756 2 месяца назад

    Would love to meet a guy who is possessive and monogamous to me ... I'll stick with just him💓

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA Месяц назад

      A lot of guys like monogamous relationships just for that reason. They make each other feel special that way. In my career (over 30 years) of working with gay male couples (and polycules), I've seen a lot of variations on relationship style work. It all comes down to what is right for the partners involved, and even that can change over time with the same couple.

  • @Zarathustran
    @Zarathustran 2 месяца назад

    Telling people to swallow isn't too bright if you're actually trying to help. Creates an expectation. I'm not swallowing hookup jiz and don't expect a hookup to swallow mine.

  • @kevinwilliams-ub7uy
    @kevinwilliams-ub7uy 3 месяца назад

    it’s called wishing and hoping sometimes it happens as it did to me with my pt trainer he asked me to join him in the shower after he’d played football.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA Месяц назад

      That sounds like a fun experience! Sudden fun experiences can enhance life over time.

  • @Mcfreddo
    @Mcfreddo 3 месяца назад

    There's no picture.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Hi. Yes, my podcast show "feeds" directly via Liberated Syndication into this RUclips channel, audio only.

  • @Mauvmx.2149
    @Mauvmx.2149 3 месяца назад

    I have a video suggestion. The one that got away

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Sounds interesting! Can you say more about that?

    • @Mauvmx.2149
      @Mauvmx.2149 3 месяца назад

      @@KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLAas a gay man how to get over that one that got away.

    • @neilmurphy966
      @neilmurphy966 3 месяца назад

      @@KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA imo that ties in with regrets ie not taking a chance with a guy or feeling as if have missed out or ruminating on how things could've gone differently!?

  • @neiiko5712
    @neiiko5712 3 месяца назад

    Guys this is a self proclaimed life coach and sex therapist are we sure he isn’t a cult leader?

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      LOL! No, not a cult leader. Maybe I should start one? I'd rather start a gang that dances in the streets like the Jets in "West Side Story" and sings show tunes. That sounds more fun. Cults just sound bummer. Trump is a cult and that's certainly a bummer.

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 3 месяца назад

    the metal idea feels hot to me.. but not sure if those guys wearing chains round neck etc are out of date..😂 but does sound exciting imo!!

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      It's fun to hear what different materials guys like. Leather, rubber, metal, Neoprene, etc.

  • @neilmurphy966
    @neilmurphy966 3 месяца назад

    Really interesting video 😃. and tbh yr voice is so soothing and subtly hot that I'd listen to u if u read from an encyclopedia 😂. Seriously though, it's given me a lot to think about.. it's really helped. 😊

  • @w.urlitzer1869
    @w.urlitzer1869 3 месяца назад

    and what you are not telling your date....

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Good point. We all have things that maybe we "should" tell dates, and we don't always do it. Things like bad dishonesties like holding ourselves out as single when we're actually partnered is a no-no. Or saying that we "want to date" when we just want sex. Or withholding that we are not really available do date long term because we are moving to a different city. Or life facts like being an ex-con or something. Anything that is a "high-level disclosure", though, is something usually kept for subsequent dates and a certain "right to know" basis. It's about discretion -- saying things not too early, and not too late.

  • @justincaldwell2527
    @justincaldwell2527 3 месяца назад

    What the hell is this.. This is a lot of words explaining people who have no impulse response control wanting to have their cake and eat it too. If you set out to be in a monogamous relationship , stay in it. If those dirty urges get you back to the bars, bath houses and Grindr then you are not strong enough to withstand a relationship. Stay single. Stay friends. Stop watching romantic comedies making you want to be in love with love and keep it real. Yes I’m bitter ! I have every right to be. I’m 55 and after three failed relationships with men I can honestly say that apart from my undoings it was not worth it . Fix your head before giving your heart.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA Месяц назад

      Hi. It sounds you've had some really tough experiences; sorry to hear that. If I can be of support in that, please consider doing some work with me. 55 is too young yet to give up. I think you need validation and support for the bad experiences you've been through, but also a strategy for how to move beyond them and give yourself (and other guys) a chance. There are ways to reduce bitterness, which makes for a better time of it in "senior" (if we can call over 55 "senior") years.

  • @fumarate1
    @fumarate1 3 месяца назад

    Yes everythings gotta be perfect.

  • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

    Hi Guys! Just a heads-up that my new online course, "Improving Sexual Confidence for Gay Men," is now available here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/improving-sexual-confidence-for-gay-men

  • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

    Hi Guys! Just a heads-up that my new online course, "Improving Sexual Confidence for Gay Men", is now available, here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/improving-sexual-confidence-for-gay-men

    • @KnijMagz
      @KnijMagz 3 месяца назад

      Thanks, Ken! I heard you talk about this on your last video I think. Might check it out! I know how much you love the name Thinkific 🤭...

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      LOL! It's just so hard to say or type "Thinkific." And spell check goes mad! Even something like "ThinkMore" would have been better.

  • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

    Hi Guys! Just a heads-up that my new online course, "Improving Sexual Confidence for Gay Men", is now available, here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/improving-sexual-confidence-for-gay-men

  • @voxveritas333
    @voxveritas333 3 месяца назад

    Also, too many have cats.

    • @w.urlitzer1869
      @w.urlitzer1869 3 месяца назад

      🙄

    • @adanwill108
      @adanwill108 3 месяца назад

      Since I'm allergic to cats, this is a big deal for me. It makes visiting with the guy uncomfortable and unpleasant. But there's more to the cat issue than just my allergies. Sometimes cat people are so enamored of their cats that they don't realize how unhygienic some of that cat behavior can be. I remember being invited over to a guy's house for dinner. It was clear how important his cat was to him, seemingly as his primary relationship partner. He set dinner out on the dining room table, and went to the kitchen to handle something. As I was approaching the table to sit down, the cat, which was a bushy long-haired cat, jumped on to the dinner table, walked across it and then straddled my plate with its belly hair brushing into the food. When I told my host that I would be unable to eat the dinner on my plate, he was enraged. In my mind, that cat had been in and out of its litter box throughout the day - and God knows where else it had been, and now it was on top of the dinner table walking over the food, and particularly over the food on my plate. That would never be acceptable for me.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      That's good point! "Pet hygiene" or "curtailing pet behavior" is a big one. Especially in the bedroom!

  • @voxveritas333
    @voxveritas333 3 месяца назад

    Many young gay men are vapid, shallow and ignorant.

  • @pauladam8918
    @pauladam8918 3 месяца назад

    I’m married now but this video reminded me how much I loved dating (before Grindr) it was always so exciting meeting new people and each one is so different I found so many different musical groups from each person and just the overall excitement of being with a person who could possibly be your match that’s why it’s so sad the gay bars are closing in person meeting is so much fun and nerve racking at the same time.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      That's interesting. I think one of the keys to "healthy aging across the life span" is meeting new people. One of the biggest differences between people who "age well" and people who don't is the issue of social isolation, especially with people of all different ages. As a younger person, and now as a middle-aged person (or, I guess, "early senior") is that I love having friends of all ages. I hang out with some friends (just a couple) who are well over 90, which is wild, and some that are much younger, and some my own age. I think there is a certain "non-monetary wealth of life" when you have friends of different ages (and also races, nationalities, interests, etc.). Another "non-monetary wealth of life" is knowing and appreciating many different kinds of music, from brand-new hits to songs that were popular long before I was born. Even guys who are partnered can have an exciting time meeting new friends, though.

  • @Pipe_RS91
    @Pipe_RS91 3 месяца назад

    This advice just feels like faking someone I'm not and walking on eggshells. Hiding so much of youself might lead the other person to think you're someone you're not.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      I hear you, but with each of these tips, it's not really faking it, it's just putting yourself in the best light socially to make a good first impression. Then the guy can get to know you over time, and, sure, he will find all your traits (the charming ones, and the annoying ones), just like you will find his. That's what the dating process is like. No partner is perfect, but people partner up anyway and provide for each other the "good enough" partner, which is not the same as "settling", but it's about having realistic expectations that no one (straight, gay, etc.) has the "perfect" partner 100 percent of the time. You can be authentic and still be at your best on a date with these (and many other) tips for making the best impression.

  • @PontificusPinion
    @PontificusPinion 3 месяца назад

    Ah the buzzwords of identity politics - cisgendered, heterosexual privilege etc. Not the channel for me.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      I don't use that kind of terminology to be "trendy" or "woke" or "virtue signaling" or whatever. The reason I use the term "cisgender" is to validate the existential and subjective experience of trans and nonbinary people and not just "assume" that everyone is cisgender (identifying with the gender they were assigned at birth), but rather to demonstrate awareness, validation, respect, dignity, and compassion for gender minorities. I use the term "heterosexual privilege" to point out that LGBTQ+ people DO, indeed, experience discrimination, harassment, bullying, invalidation, violent crime, white-collar crime, harassment, etc. that heterosexual people simply do not; to be free from such manifestations of minority stress in society is, indeed, a privilege. It's a social relief they don't have to deal with that, whereas LGBTQ+ people do, and it sucks, if perhaps to varying degrees for each person. I'm sorry you find it "not the channel for you," but if you're someone who might appreciate content that supports mental health, well-being, and quality of life, I'm hoping that at least one of the episodes might support you in how these issues manifest for you. Even straight people could benefit from some of this content, because while I deliberately focus on the specialized needs of gay men as my area of focus, a lot of this content aims to support, well, everyone in the human experience. Try out some other episodes that strike your fancy and see if there is some value to you from them.

    • @Zarathustran
      @Zarathustran 2 месяца назад

      "Cisgendered" really is indicative of low intelligence or psychopathy isn't it? Thought the same thing.

  • @PontificusPinion
    @PontificusPinion 3 месяца назад

    What was that Log Cabin Republican comment all about? If you're gonna get political but be non-partisan, there are plenty of self-satisfied boastfful Democrat types out there too. I've met them. Plenty of dickheads right across the political spectrum.

  • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 0 seconds ago Thanks for listening, guys! Appreciate all the nice comments. Please get in touch if you're interested in psychotherapy (California residents), or Coaching (California or USA or worldwide). Also LMK if you have suggestions for future episode topics!

  • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
    @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

    Thanks for listening, guys! Appreciate all the nice comments. Please get in touch if you're interested in psychotherapy (California residents), or Coaching (California or USA or worldwide). Also LMK if you have suggestions for future episode topics!

  • @MarkSummers-g2n
    @MarkSummers-g2n 3 месяца назад

    If you don't drink liquor don't fall for a man that does

    • @simoxeh
      @simoxeh 3 месяца назад

      Big blanket statement. I drink but no one who dated me has ever or would have a problem with me because of it. Better to say not to date guys who can't go without it.

    • @MarkSummers-g2n
      @MarkSummers-g2n 3 месяца назад

      ​@@simoxehCan you believe that there are people who actually say to their spouse that an Extramarital Affair was caused by their Drinking

  • @juliussmith4001
    @juliussmith4001 3 месяца назад

    This is great!

  • @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh
    @MichaelJohnson-vi6eh 3 месяца назад

    Ugh. Today I was talking with a guy (I don't think he's gay and not flirting but he was cute) and I just blabbed and blabbed!! It started out great - I got him to talk about himself but then I just forgot and wow.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Good point. In cases like that (we've all been there), likely our physical attraction to them is aroused and we get stimulated, including talking a lot or talking too fast. Dame Judi Dench, the acclaimed British actress, talks about this when she played Juliet in "Romeo and Juliet" when she was younger, saying that Juliet "talks fast" when she first meets and is infatuated with Romeo, and that "we've all been there, haven't we?" (in her new book, "Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent", which is a great (and educational, and funny!) book.

  • @thekajalflaneur
    @thekajalflaneur 3 месяца назад

    This was great. Practical, hilarious and real. Thankyou ❤

  • @aceautonewportky
    @aceautonewportky 3 месяца назад

    Great advice, I enjoyed this.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Thanks! Glad you enjoyed. Hope you find other episodes that you like as well. Tell your friends! :)

  • @leonstevens1382
    @leonstevens1382 3 месяца назад

    Worldwide? Why haven’t I ever heard of him?

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      LOL! I hear ya. More people don't know me because I don't have a publicist (not in the budget after podcast hosting and lots of overhead in Los Angeles). But I work with guys all over the world; we just need to figure out the time zone difference, which takes some Googling and planning; some guys in Europe are having their coaching sessions later at night, or in Australia or Hong Kong, Thailand, etc. very early in the morning. We make it work!

    • @neilmurphy966
      @neilmurphy966 3 месяца назад

      Well, u have now ❤😂

  • @oscardaone
    @oscardaone 3 месяца назад

    A lot to take notes here. I’m 36 and I’ve never dated.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Hmmmmm; if you're 36 and never dated, your might have something that's holding you back, that might be overcome if you had help and support. Maybe we should be talking? ;)

    • @oscardaone
      @oscardaone 3 месяца назад

      @@KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA I may take you up on that. My leisure time is very limited, at the moment, however I’m taking care of a loved one.

    • @fumarate1
      @fumarate1 3 месяца назад

      why not.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      I understand. I share remote care-taking of my mom in another state, with my sister (also in another state entirely), and it feels like a part-time job sometimes with the various items that just need troubleshooting (lately it's been fighting off scammers!).

  • @FirstLast-dy4gt
    @FirstLast-dy4gt 3 месяца назад

    They came on the date with a load in them

    • @BronzeDragon133
      @BronzeDragon133 3 месяца назад

      At least you know he's open and gets some exercise.

    • @FirstLast-dy4gt
      @FirstLast-dy4gt 3 месяца назад

      @@BronzeDragon133 🥰

    • @BronzeDragon133
      @BronzeDragon133 3 месяца назад

      @@FirstLast-dy4gt Oh, please, let he who hath not shown up on a date walking funny and with six loads... Er. I would never do that.

    • @briandbenson
      @briandbenson 3 месяца назад

      I usually try to have at least a couple of loads in no matter where I am 🤷‍♂️

    • @sardicky
      @sardicky 3 месяца назад

      What does meanhas a load in

  • @arlosmith2784
    @arlosmith2784 3 месяца назад

    One real problem with online dating: There are a plethora of frauds, guys who pose as potential partners but really just are looking for money without even meeting. I have been contacted maybe 20 times by various people claiming to be the Crown Prince of Dubai. They always end up asking for money. 👎

    • @michaeldavis1273
      @michaeldavis1273 3 месяца назад

      Unfortunately yes

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA Месяц назад

      Yes, the online world (including over the phone) can be the place for crimes and scams, especially for vulnerable populations like the elderly (my mother was the victim of a phone scam at least twice). There can also be outright dangerous folks "out there", although they are in the minority of guys online. Online dating requires a lot of self care and critical thinking for safety; maybe I'll do an episode on this. It's all about "proceed with caution."

    • @arlosmith2784
      @arlosmith2784 Месяц назад

      @@KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA YES, there can be truly dangerous people online such as UK Grindr killer Stephen Port. But Jeffrey Dahmer found victims at gay bars.

  • @dippingmyfoot
    @dippingmyfoot 3 месяца назад

    There are gay guys who want more than just a romp?! Where? 🫨

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      They are out there! I hear from many of my single clients, who are GREAT guys, that they want a serious boyfriend/partner so badly and don't have one. I wish I could play matchmaker among my clients, because these are really upstanding guys. They definitely exist, despite all the "date from Hell" types people encounter. If you have a Fundamental Belief in Abundance (versus lack), they are out there. You have to have faith that there are many (many!) guys who would want nothing more than to have a nice date with you on a Saturday night. Dinner, movie, walk, concert, whatever. Tons of guys want that. Just keep putting yourself out there. Maybe if it's not a "dating spark", it could be an interesting new friend and then you can be "wing man" for one another.

  • @sinclairdance
    @sinclairdance 3 месяца назад

    Good talk, however if you meet the right person you can be whatever you are and nothing will matter. Though when the relationship starts then you can begin to find the little kinks that needs smoothing and you all go from there. Over manicuring during first dates always if not often leads to concealing something’s that needed to be seen, said and get over with right at the get go. If it’s not a match then don’t force it. It’s not a match. However, you do you!

    • @raymondcampusano2991
      @raymondcampusano2991 3 месяца назад

      That is correct, you should never hide who you are. I showed myself the way I was, and over time I made the best to make my couple show me the person he really was, we were able to work our differences and things are working great.

    • @sinclairdance
      @sinclairdance 3 месяца назад

      @@raymondcampusano2991 exactly! 👍🏾

  • @dougmullen899
    @dougmullen899 3 месяца назад

    Fantastic talk! Very specific. Look forward to the course

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      Hey thanks! If you're interested in my courses they are here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/improving-sexual-confidence-for-gay-men and here: ken-s-site-cf15.thinkific.com/courses/gay-men-starting-their-own-business. They are kind of really different topics: one is on gay men starting their own business and becoming self-employed after getting tired of working for others, and the second is on improving sexual self-confidence because NO ONE is offering that kind of material, and plenty of gay men need encouragement to "up their game" in the bedroom!

  • @jasongomez5012
    @jasongomez5012 4 месяца назад

    ‼️‼️‼️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️‼️‼️‼️ My husband has stopped having sex with me for the past 8 years now. We've been together for 18 years now, and married 14yrs. I have a strong feeling that he is a narcissist. He treats me more like a roommate than a husband.😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      I've worked with guys on this. Have you considered couples therapy or relationship coaching (hint)? I offer this. gaytherapyla.com/services-offered/gay-sex-therapy/ and gaycoachingla.com/relationship/.

  • @spacejockey4746
    @spacejockey4746 4 месяца назад

    This is disgusting.

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      I disagree. There is nothing "disgusting" about sex in general or gay sex in particular, especially when the Six Principles of Sexual Health are abundantly present.

  • @lucyferos205
    @lucyferos205 5 месяцев назад

    Can you clarify something for me? In psychotherapy, the patient is guided to take actions to increase their mental health. The goal is mental health, which allows for a rational and scientific study of how to best reach that goal. I understand this. What I don't understand is why you don't see how these are normative prescriptions, and therefore inherently a question of ethics. Should we pursue mental health? If so, are there any ethical limits to this pursuit? As far as I'm aware, there is no empirical way to define a concept like mental health. We struggle to define physical health, too. Science doesn't tell us that we should be healthy, only how to be healthy depending on how we define health. We need ethics to prescribe or permit any action or goal, including mental health. Your Humanist ethics are not more "scientific" than Christian ethics. That's an ethical, philosophical argument, not a scientific one, right? So why are you condemning moralism when you do the same thing? For the record, I don't agree with Christian ethics, but can you really expect people to abandon their morality to do their job? Is that really the norm you want to set?

    • @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA
      @KenHowardLCSWGayTherapyLA 3 месяца назад

      This is a very complicated topic, more so than I can reasonably respond to here. What I mean by "moralism" is not really morals, but the imposition of bigotry, antipathy, oppression, etc., kind of the opposites of tolerance and frankly Love. Think "Dolly Parton!"

  • @realteamwall
    @realteamwall 5 месяцев назад

    homosexuality is a sin and just like any other sin it can be forgiven

    • @teehee4096
      @teehee4096 5 месяцев назад

      Thank you for giving us an example of harmful religious moralism. :)

    • @yams190
      @yams190 5 месяцев назад

      yeah sure that'd be nice if you weren't calling gay people inherently sinful

    • @realteamwall
      @realteamwall 5 месяцев назад

      @@yams190 i dont know how you got that from my comment

    • @realteamwall
      @realteamwall 5 месяцев назад

      @@teehee4096 if the truth is harmful to you then you are extremely weak

    • @yams190
      @yams190 5 месяцев назад

      ​​​@@realteamwallgay people are pretty much born that way. attraction is a normal part of life for most people on the planet, excluding ace or aro people, so youre outting these people's natural emotions as sin which insinuates they deserve "hell" and punishment in the afterlife. it doesnt matter if there's redemption or forgiveness, bc the innocence of two women or two men wanting to hold hands and act like any other cis-het couple is seen as 'outside the natural order' and that message isnt as "loving" as you think.