This first story breaks my heart. With my mother, this made sense and she ASKED me to lend her the money I saved because she was in a tight spot. AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS PAY IT BACK LATER WHEN SHE COULD! The fact the mom went out of her way to look for it without asking, and then getting upset because the daughter was upset....augh.
Same. Me AND my husband would often lend money to our own parents growing up. So now w our daughter we made a promise 2 her n each other that if we had to take money from her wed pay it back DOUBLE.
My mom does that too. She asks me and my brother to borrow a bit of money (max she's asked from either of us is equivalent to $4) and she ALWAYS pays us back when she can. I'm just glad that she at least pays us back since I've never gotten allowance
1st story, OP is NOT the ass. the parents are, if anyone is throwing a 3 year old tantrum it's the sister and the parents basically enable it! I have autism myself and throw tantrums myself when I was younger, I threw chairs and everything. But I at LEAST get punishments for it. Edit: HOLY SHIT I didn't think I'd get that many likes!
2nd story: I felt so bad for the husband because I'm also touch-averse, but it's great his wife understands that. Male or female, sexual harassment is sexual harassment.
yeah, just imagine if the genders were flipped. If a dude who had a crush on a woman just took his pants off in front of her, despite her obvious and clear objections. Everyone would be (rightfully) angry. Because that's disgusting, and actually illegal.
This is DISGUSTING that poor husband. I would of kicked her out IMMEDIATELY! What the hell is wrong with her? Shes probably one of those people who think men cant get abused.
I totally agree, I've had panic attacks due to someone I don't like touching me. Hands are huge no-nos, too. If I were in the husband's situation, I probably would have broken sooner tbh. It's lucky he has a real support structure with his wife.
First story: NTA Isn't it interesting how father has a temper and how well he's able to discipline OP, yet, he's unable to prevent OP's sister meltdown. I call bullshit. He's a thief and so is his wife, and OP's sister is their golden child; they both knew that they were going to spend OP's money when they went shopping.
11:50 He literally told OP’s husband for her to “go ahead and file through the state and it’ll show I don’t owe anything.” That’s exactly what OP did and proved him wrong. Ladies and Gentlemen we have a new contestant on “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”
2:36 ironic that they're calling OP spoiled when the literally bought the younger sister sneakers to prevent her from having a tantrum. Autistic or not, you NEVER give in to your kids' tantrums. Because that teaches them they can cry to get whatever they want.
tantrums aren't autistic meltdowns, but i agree, there is no need to give in. there are ways to help autistic children cope otherwise. Edit: actually I think that kid had to be throwing a tantrum and they called it an autistic meltdown because they can't tell the difference. A meltdown has no end goal in site, no desire to gain anything. It's a fight or flight reaction. A tantrum has a goal. So, they either made that story up, or that child was throwing a tantrum and their ignorance of autism made them respond inappropriately. How are you going to have an autistic child and not know that much about autism..
@@PapaJunos considering that I went 17 years before diagnosis, I am not surprised they don't know anything about autism. I do know what a meltdown is, I just simplified terminology since not everyone else does
@@PapaJunos to be fair, girls with autism typically behave very differently from what is considered "normal" for someone with autism because all studies done on autism were based off of boys, not girls. Most girls with autism go YEARS without being diagnosed, whereas boys usually get diagnosed by 2 or 3 years old. I'm surprised their daughter was diagnosed so early on, hers must have been severe. The parents are wrong whether it a meltdown or not, but not surprising if they don't understand her autism.
Small detail in the first story: The dad said that the sister was going to have a meltdown in the shop because she wanted the shoes then and there and they didn't have enough money, but the mum just happened to have OP's money? BS. Either they're so thick that what they say doesn't add up, or they intentionally stole the money because they were going to spend money on the sister. I would stake everything that I own that it's the latter.
I also wouldn't be surprised if the shoes the sister wanted didn't cost the full $120 and the parents pocketed the rest, and I'll go so far as to say it's likely they spent it on themselves, not her, which is why they got so defensive. Like yeah, some shoes absolutely cost that much, but I wouldn't put it past these douchebags.
My thing is the mom HAPPENED to steal all of OP's money, and then her sister HAPPENED to throw a fit over something worth exactly the amount that the mom stole? The parents 100% intended to steal so that OP couldn't spend her money on her own. This is what we call financial abuse, children.
The "no b-day cause we're poor" is what sealed it for me. My family has been dirty poor for most of my life, I was the middle one out of 5 with the youngest having his birthday 4 days after mine, not even to mention that I hated my own birthdays because I always saw them as reminders that my time is running (had some issues with death acceptance). And still with that my parents made an effort to make me feel special. Those two simply couldn't be bothered.
As someone on the autism spectrum, I can safely say that there are ways to teach austistic people to manage the more extreme emotions that don't involve giving in every time or treating them like monsters. Yeah it's a challenge, but I see special needs kids with behaviour problems because the adults gave in every time to avoid the meltdown rather than try a different tactic.
They probably lied and just wanted the free money. The sneakers were doubtful a full $120. Even a good pair shouldn't be more than $80. Prolly got a few goodies for themselves with it.
I 100% agree. My brother’s autistic & he’s learned how to respect boundaries. He still has problems, but we help him with them, and now he has a bachelor’s degree and a part-time job at an art museum. He’s also an artist himself and does volunteer stuff. I guarantee that this agency and self-respect brings him more happiness than a pair of sneakers would.
I agree, especially with the 14 year olds age. If the child was 3/4 like mine is, I would be a bit more understanding, but the stealing part is still fucked.
That first story really got my blood boiling. I can understand hard times and birthday celebrations might not be in the cards, but that doesn't excuse them. They stole money from the oldest daughter which she worked for, and not an insignificant amount, spent it to spoil their other daughter (and no, the special needs thing is not excusable), and then punished the other daughter when she rightfully called them out?! And the OP tells it as if her mother has stolen money from her before. I hope she got better at hiding her money and cut off contact with her parents after that. rSlash, you are nicer than I am because I would've given them the full 5/5. But I understand that you reserve those scores for the worst of the worst.
Also they said they didn't have money to spare to buy the sneakers. If they didn't have 120 dollars to spare between the parents, why get the sneakers.
The parents called OP, a 'spoiled brat throwing a tantrum', but ironically, they are creating those very traits in your sister by appeasing her 'tantrums' by getting what she wants.
I'm special needs myself. And no, autism is not an excuse to be an asshole. The parents are just spoiling their golden child and abusing their scapegoat. I hope OP can leave and cut contact soon. The sister on the other hand needs professional help. Having a meltdown because you can't have something is 3 year old behaviour. I was like that when I was a toddler. I know I can't always buy everything I want. I just had to learn that first. But yeah, the sister needs help. But I know not every country has organisations for that. Which is sad, because special needs people need way more help then they are getting in most countries. At least my country has good help for special needs people like me.
@@Nikita_Akashya I'm autistic too, and honestly, I think this is something that runs deeper. Sometimes if neurotypical parents have an autistic child, they spoil them because they're "special needs," which I'm starting to wonder if that counts as infantilization. And I just looked up this user, and in one comment that she replied to, she said that her parents never really celebrated her birthday and complained about how much they spend for her sister's medical needs. So, while I think it is possible that OP's sister has other medical needs, I'm pretty sure she had a "meltdown" over the sneakers because her parents spoiled her because ShE dOeSn'T KnOW bEtTer.
2nd Story: She isn't not allowed to come over anymore because she's wearing skimpy clothes, she's not allowed to come over anymore because she's sexually harassing the husband. It's isn't ever sexist to call out sexual harassment, and frankly, you're allowed to set rules in your own home, even if they would be a little unreasonable to expect in public, and this isn't at all unreasonable.
The thing that kinda hurts more is that he probably was dealing with that for a while, but bottled it up because, most probably, he was afraid of telling OP and being called a liar, cheater and a creep, since most people don't believe that men get sexually harassed...
Bingo! It doesn't matter the gender either. This is definitely sexual harassment. Like Rslash said, I also wonder what the friend is telling the sister. It's unlikely she told her that she is trying to seduce her friend's brother. Although, if OP and her husband notices this, I'd be surprise is OP's SIL hasn't noticed.
Exactly. What was sexist was the sister defending her friend. Sexual harassment is still sexual harassment and I’d go as far as to say assault since she straight up pulled her pants down before and has grabbed his hand without consent as a way to seduce him.
I honestly think it's kind of gross that OP felt like she was being sexist for defending her husband. Like protecting him from sexual harassment was somehow a bad thing?
If the parents steal from their kids, they are failures as parents. Especially if it’s money the kid earned and saved, because they are aware of their family’s financial situation.
Seriously! That story makes my F*CKING blood boil. They stole from OP, and call her a spoiled brat for calling them out?! I swear, some parents is just asking to be beat up by strangers. Some parents just don't deserve kids, like these buttholes.
@@jessicanielsen3332 Try speaking with a counselor or a teacher at school. I don't know your situation but if you feel your parents are not acting in your best interest then you need another adult in your life to evaluate that situation.
@@jessicanielsen3332 my father used that line on me all the time as a kid, and loved to point out that I am provided food and shelter, as if that means anything other than “CPS won’t take you away!”
I’m actually curious if the sister actually threw the tantrum. The mom knew she had money, and was conveniently at the mall. my a$$. They weren’t keeping the money safe. They stole for the sole purpose of spending it on their favorite daughter. They are thieves.
@@derekwhite1870 Plus, after the dad screamed at OP for calling them thieves(which they are), mom had the gall to nod and agree with dad's absolutely flawless logic. I mean, what?! Pretty sure any parent can smell that BS logic from a mile away! Be careful nodding too much, you'll nod all your brain cells away, "mom".
People trying to touch other people is just plain weird. I’m like that husband who doesn’t like to be touched by people I’m not familiar with. It can go either way for me. A. I freeze up or B. That mother F. is gonna get their eyes scratched out. So fight or flight lol
It's honestly heartbreaking, that men can be s-xually harassed and even assaulted, when no one bats an eye. But when the genders are reversed it's suddenly a big deal. I'm a woman of equality, I hate s-xism. Period.
How can the sister in law NEVER have noticed the sudden wardrobe changes? She's in denial. And you'd think she would know her own brother well enough to know whether he was likely to be harassing this woman... you'd think she'd know the friend well enough to know whether she would pull a stunt like this.
"My Netflix subscriptions are a RIGHT, not a privilege!" - the most entitled and childish thing I've heard someone unironically say. Like, my dude it ain't infringing on your rights if you can't watch Big Mouth or F is for Family due to money being tight. You should never decide that watching Netflix is more important than feeding your kid! OP is NTA 100%.
on the other side of the same coin, the fact she says "make up is apart of my personality" says just as much about her entitlement too. which everyone is glossing over.
@madgy I would need to know exactly what her makeup habits actually are. It's clear that at least, he is unreasonable, but you don't buy makeup palettes once a month and certainly not 2+ (Netflix and Hulu were mentioned, I forgot what was added). I would need to know if he was essentially strawmaning. Do I think she should also put makeup before her kids? No. But that doesn't mean she doesn't get to have anything she wants when he has all the streaming services when he should just pick one.
@@madeleineerickson9268 Not necessarily. There, we just don't have enough information. She could be buying drugstore make up that works for her and she could be spending about fifty bucks for foundation, eyeliner/shadow, lipstick, and blush. Also, make up isn't something you have to pay for each month. Even if you go by what professionals advise and dispose of make up when the 'expiration' is, that's still only buying make up maybe twice a year. Once a year with some products. Now, yes, if she was going to Sephora, Ulta, or another expensive place for make up, where you can easily spend over two hundred for make up, I'd say it's excessive. But again, that's once a year, maybe twice with some products. Spending eighty bucks a month on subscriptions equals almost a thousand dollars a year, as opposed to somewhere between one hundred and four hundred. There's really no comparison. Plus, what if she has a job where she's expected to be made up every day? Those still exist, and if it is the case for her, she can't just stop wearing make up because her career could suffer.
From the sounds of it, her makeup is expensive. And the fact that she was like, he's just unemployed when he is the stay-at-home dad makes me instantly think that she is 100% the asshole. I'd still give him a few bits of asshole because of how he put the 'my right' but it sounds like that was in response to makeup is my personality more than anything else.
@@kateworkman921 if it was career based she would have used it in her argument instead of saying just it's part of her personality he has to accept it Hard to explain she said she feels guilty for buying shoes or something but still wears makeup and I'm fencing an inconsistency in this story I don't want to say she's straight up lying but something seems off about this
As someone who's mother regularly stole money from me growing up, I know exactly how that young lady feels. By the time I was 16, I knew never to trust my mother with vial information or money. I got my Social Security card away from her by the time I was 12 and made sure I never gave her a cent again. It's been almost 40 years, and I still don't trust her, nor will I ever give her a cent. She tried to take credit cards out in the name of one of my sisters and even stole money from her own grandchild. A thief is a thief, and should always be called out on it.
1. The first OP SHOULD consider getting different friends, because if they laugh at a delayed birthday, then they dont deserve OP 2. Trying to appease an autistic child at every chance is NOT how you raise them. This sets them up for failure later in life when they expect everything to come to them instantly. 3. Those parents are abusive, and possibly setting up a narcissistic family dynamic. Id be running as soon as possible, and taking the sister with me away from those people.
I feel sorry for the autistic sister in this story aswell. I am sad that her maturity indepenced and teaching her that if she crys and uses her disorder she will get everything she wants. They fail as a parent instantly to both kids.
There's taking care of a special needs child, then there's enabling. The parents are clearly enabling the sister. I have sympathy for this girl, because her parents stole from her at every opportunity. The money was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Imagine taking A KIDS MONEY that they worked for when you weren't doing anything for there birthday and when they call you out you dont punish them you should instead of apologize you ruined their birthday and took THEIR MONEY TO BUY YOUR OTHER KID sneakers
Seriously, OP needs to get away from them fast, and call the police on them for theft. I don't care if they are OP's parents, they freaking stole from OP and call her a spoiled brat for calling them out!
@@dracko158 FR! 120 is no small amount either! Especially not for a minor! I reckon the cops should get involved, those shit excuse of parents should face consequences, what assholes
@@kemonono OP could theoretically sue her parents for theft and possible emotional damage. Think about it, they STOLE their daughter's money, calls her a spoiled brat and grounds her simply because they are being called out?! That's huge grounds for suing them into the ground. If that's too much, I'll honestly call the police on them and force them to give the money back in front of the police.
These parents just have the Mr.Krabs personality/mentality and only cares about "Money, Money, Money!". Now that I heard the story, I'm willing to bet that the ONLY reason why the parents are "Favoring" the Autistic Sister is because THEY KNOW that she'll get her Disability Checks/SSI Income when she's old enough. So spoil her now, take her rightful money in the near future and use her as an ATM. If THAT'S the case, I'd get the CPS involved and get help from the rest of the family! "Parents" like them makes me SICK! Playing favorites, neglecting their one child and treating them as if they're not worth the same love as the Autistic Sister.
Entitled Dad: "You're grounded for calling us thieves, so we won't celebrate your birthday!!" OP: *laughs* Entitled Dad: "What's so funny?!" OP: "Is that even a threat?"
I can’t believe the sister would discard her own brothers feelings and comfort like that I get if she was told a different story and the wife didn’t explain it but still Imagine almost being assaulted and your own sibling calling you a monster after you kick out your assailant Also if OP posts any updates can someone please link it below?
"AITA for kicking out my sister's friend for wearing revealing clothing?" She literally grabbed your husband without consent, but that's what you focus on?
@@TheFlamingTurkey OP should be a POS, and refuse to respect their POS parents until they can leave. What are they gonna do, hit the kid? Then they go to jail. I would call the parents theives every time i saw them, and move out the day i hit 18. These parents are garbage.
First story: I have autism myself and would *never* expect my parents to put my sibling's birthday aside for me. This is a term I hate using, but OP's sister seems like the golden child of that family
I feel bad for both siblings. As someone with autism as well, it took me longer than most to learn social queues. The younger sister’s parents aren’t teaching her any social queues by spoiling her, which is going to make her future that much harder. That said, it’s not the older sister’s responsibility to teach the younger sibling anything and it’s not right for the older sister to literally pay to spoil the younger one.
I myself have autism and not everyone who has autism are the exact same. Autism comes in a huge spectrum with varying behaviours. However that tantrum she threw at the shop I wouldn't say was a symptom of autism, if I had to guess I would assume she has been used to getting everything handed to her without consequences whatsoever possibly from favouritism or because they spoil her over the fact shes autistic.
@@kamillesmith2228 I litteraly said autism comes in a huge spectrum, i never said there was only one sign of autism there are litteraly many that's what the spectrum is. Plus the way you make it sound is like tantrums are only what autistic people do. Every child throws a tantrum that doesn't mean they have signs of autism. All I was saying was when she threw a tantrum the parents gave in and gave her what she wanted instead of putting their foot down and saying no. In this scenario it doesn't matter if your autistic or what you never give in to tantrums because then you're just teaching them they can get away with anything.
Re: last story, as a stay at home father myself, I think it's important to remember that looking after a baby & toddler is absolutely as hard as a full time job. He might not be earning money for it, but in the face of it he's still contributing equally to the home as the bread-winning wife. So I'd argue that the money she's earning is both of theirs, not just hers. THAT SAID... they clearly both need to have a talk about finances, work out what's essential (food, bills etc) and what they can cut to make ends meet. Multiple streaming services seems like a non-essential to me, but then again I don't see make-up as strictly essential either (depending on her job). But that's something they need to talk about together, not just shout at each other and make ultimatums. 🤦♂️
You put my thoughts better than I could. Something didnt sit quite right with me with rslash going off on the husband, since honestly this seems more like they have a problem with budgeting on both ends. Even if makeup is somewhat necessary to her job, it should be possible to be a bit thrifty in how much she obtains. My main criticism of the wife in this scenario is that she tied the makeup to her "personality" which... I'll be honest, makes it a luxury. If they can barely afford clothes and food, why is it okay for her to buy a decent amount of a luxury item? Overall, they both have some sacrifices to make, but having only one of them give in while the other gets to reap benefits is only going to breed resentment more than is already present.
@@katherinegearing5188 - That is because r/Slash has read ALL of the post She did post a comment about his stay at home parenting... "I'm not sure since I still do the cooking/cleaning/washing after I get home but he says that's my part of chores so I shouldn't complain." Yep, he sits on his backside watching the TV - that is his role as a SAHP
The first story made me legitimately angry. I'm on the spectrum and one thing that triggers me a lot is a blatantly unfair situation. This is an example of just that. The fact that the mother went out of her way to search the bedroom and take the money BEFORE going out tells me they were planning on spending the money anyway, and when they were called out on it, the poor victim is grounded with no recourse or defence of any kind. Granted, it's the thought that there's not a thing she can do about it because of her father's abusive attitude and short temper that probably makes me angry because she has no-one who can really stand up for her except strangers on the Internet. I just hope in 2 years time she can get out... and that's assuming she can keep her money safe, which sounds like is impossible.
Dude, I'm on the spectrum and "triggered by a blatantly unfair situation" sounds about right for me too. I never thought about it in those words before.
Perspective from someone with autism who has an 11yo autistic son. I'm on SSI, which barely pays our rent. My son is able to understand what we can and cannot afford. He's also able to understand the value of the things we do buy. Yes he has breakdowns in public. We also know how to work him through it and not give in to his demands. It usually involves "I'm sorry we can't afford this right now. If we all save up we might be able to come back for it or find it cheaper online." Or finding him something we CAN afford. He's always very helpful when we're out shopping so I try to give him some sort of treat anyway. In the case of the shoes, it's effing ridiculous that they'd be willing to spend their older daughter's hard-earned cash to spoil their younger. "She has autism" is no excuse. Autism explains things like comprehension and learning disabilities. It's not a get-out-of-jail-free card. They're spoiling her and neglecting and abusing the other. And spending over $100 on shoes that she might just grow out of is mind-boggling to me. Especially if these people are poor.
I also have autism, and you're absolutely right. It's not a get-out-of-jail-free card. I couldn't have put it better myself, but I find it personally insulting whenever people like OP1's parents do use autism as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
TBF: If your "friends" are making fun of you for a rescheduled birthday you SHOULD re-evaluate that friendship. But that was the ONLY sensible thing the parents said in that situation.
The moment when he said: "NOW GET TF OUT OF MY FACE AND STAY GONE TIL I TELL. YOU. OTHERWISE.", I *really* wanted to punch a goddamn wall over how much entitlement venom is dripping out of his foul mouth.
OP should have said, "You should reconsider who your children are, since I'm old enough to be emancipated, and I can report you to the police for theft, to CPS for abuse, and make sure you lose custody of my younger sister, as well."
Second story solution is quite simple honestly, i assume SIL is not physically disabled (lives in the attic after all), she can meet her friend in public spaces not just their house. Its not cutting out a person out of her life, if she can still freely meet them.
@@H-to-O It's fucked up. If I had to live at my brother's house rent free, I'd be really grateful to him. I'd also be a bit embarrassed about the situation and want to move out asap. I wouldn't bring an overnight guest possibly ever, at least not often. It's mind-blowing how entitled she is.
I'll be perfectly honest, if I was in the roller coaster family's position, I'd think it would be absolutely hilarious to have a family photo with just a random person in it. Besides, it's totally normal to have several strangers in one of those coaster photos, so who cares?
I’d go to the store and return the shoes myself. And then I’d tell her she absolutely has no obligation to accept any apology or excuse from me. Seriously using autistic kids to justify being a thief is… I wanna say a new low but it’s actually a very familiar low.
It depends on how autistic that girl is, and if she even notices it. or cares for that manner she was raised spoiled from what we get to hear, So she might not realise the pain OP is in,
My partner has an autistic sister who's been treated like that all her life and I can honestly say, it's barely the kids fault. If the parents establish a double standard from day one that teaches the kid how to act and they grow up thinking it's normal. I've watched this 27 year old woman who still lives in her parentd house and works only 12 hours a week throw an absolute tantrum because she was asked to do the dishes after my partner and I made dinner for the whole family.
@@missluciddreams3472 Who cares though? Clearly OP had no SERIOUS consequences for it and it wasn't like they kept doing it. They did it once to get a point across. That's it. Beyond that, who is really going to care?
I am on the autistic spectrum, and the way my parents treated me was like everyone else. They did not cater to my meltdowns, and the reason was because I would never be able to fit in to this world. They didn't let me get into routines, and every time we drove somewhere, we always took a different route. I am proud of my parents because they made sure I had a normal life, not become some spoiled brat who always gets his own way. Those parents are huge AHs and should NEVER cater to OPs sister's tantrums, especially by robbing OP of their birthday AND money.
The first story made me livid. How are you going to steal from someone and then get mad at them for calling them out. Also I would have found those shoes and destroyed them or taken them back myself.
The sister didn’t do anything wrong though why punish her if any thing steal the exact amount from the parents then see how they like it, even better show them the Reddit comments and get extended family involved
Yeah no that first story made me violently angry. Like genuinely pissed. I had any money I get taken when I was a kid bc “money was tight” to the point that I spent years into adulthood working like a slave giving my parents everything bc money was tight, being emotionally manipulated into helping them while my father would stay at home playing games. I spent years depressed thinking I had no future and had to be a parent for my brothers. I wouldn’t be surprised if op moves out and never speaks to her parents again. And honestly I hope she does
I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that. I hope you are out of that situation and are living your best life without feeling like you are beholden to them.
Seriously, that story make my goddamn blood boil. I am honestly speechless as to how f*cking stupid the dad's logic is. "My daughter call me and my wife thieves, therefore I'll yell at her, ground her, and call her a spoiled brat instead of apologizing and returning the money!" Seriously, wtf is up with these parents?!
First story: Not only is it actually only telling the truth to call them thieves, but that was *not* a 3 year old style tantrum. I have a 3 year old, and what happened here was actually a well-reasoned argument. You're selfish for saving your own money to spend on your own birthday? You're selfish for not being ok with having your money stolen and spent on the "solution" to what actually WAS a 3 year old tantrum? Your parents are toxic, OP. *NTA.*
Yeah: selfish for wanting to spend her own money she earned on herself. My mom was like her parents. She collected child support my dad paid for the mortgage so lived rent free. My senior year of high school she quit her job and started spending the child support willy nilly while hitting me up for cash. She would call me Selfish for not wanting to pay utilities or share the food I bought with my own money (oh and by share she means let her eat all of the food so I can not eat that day).
I am suspicious of the parent's excuse that they only bought the shoes to avoid a meltdown. So the mom "just happened" to take OPs money for "safekeeping" AND conveniently went to the mall AND then a shoe store or shoe section where the daughter could see and try on shoes but ONLY THEN decided to spend OPs money to avoid a meltdown? Please. The mom took the money with the full intention of spending it on the autistic daughter before she ever went to the mall. Why would the money be any more "safe" in mom's possession than under OP's bed? It wouldn't be, that was just an utter bullshit excuse the mom used to justify her actions.
Well, as an autistic, I would not say the autistic sister was having a 3 year old tantrum. She was having a full-out meltdown. That's entirely different. A tantrum is done for attention and the child having it is in full control of themselves, whereas a meltdown is not done for attention and the child is completely out of control.
@@natesportyboy4939 OP was talking about the non-autistic 16 yr old girl being told by her father she had a tantrum like a 3 yr old not the autistic sister having a tantrum. The parents said they bought the shoes for the autistic sister to avoid her having a meltdown....although I question if that actually happened the way the parents described because why were they at the mall looking at shoes in the first place? Because they were there to spend the money the mom stole from the 16 yr old.
first story: this is how parents get cut off, they steal from, abuse, and neglect their children, and then when they're mad about it, they act like they've done nothing wrong. it is THEIR job to teach their autistic daughter not to be a terror (throwing a tantrum over shoes? I'm autistic and i was taught not to do that) AND to show their oldest child the love and respect op deserves. stealing from your kids is never okay. second story: your husband is being harassed, plain and simple. it would be a little different if the friend wasnt doing anything and your husband was just complaining about her wearing a thin shirt, but the friend is SPECIFICALLY coming onto him. he's said no, and he's allowed to be upset about her continued advances.
Yeah, as others have said, that behavior is a tantrum, not a meltdown. A meltdown is a reaction to being in intense discomfort, physically or emotionally. A tantrum is screaming to get your way. Allowing the latter in this kid is infantilizing and will likely stunt her emotional maturity.
I have an autistic brother, and my parents NEVER stole from me. If they needed money, they ask me. So these parents are thieves! The dad blew up because he was called out on being a shitty dad
That last one hit a personal note for me. Growing up, my dad was unemployed so it was up to my mom to provide for him and us 2 kids. Dad still gave himself an “allowance” to buy comics and legos though. 🙃
I think rSlash missed a key piece of information in the last story: the husband was a stay-at-home dad. I've seen rSlash defend stay-at-home moms before, so why is it different if the stay-at-home parent is a dad? I think the husband was in the wrong for saying that they should stop buying baby formula and think he should compromise and reduce the number of subscriptions he has, but I do think he made a good point about the OP's makeup spending. OP didn't mention how much she spent on makeup per month. I understand and agree that makeup has become a necessary part of a woman's work attire, but even I can buy a year's worth of makeup for under $150 even though I'm forced to buy expensive stuff due to allergies severely limiting my options. I think it would make the most sense for them both to agree on an amount of for-fun spending that they can both have per month after all expenses are covered and savings goals are met. They should each get the same amount of fun money because being a stay-at-home parent is just as much work as having a salaried job. Just think of how much OP is saving on childcare by having their husband taking care of the kids full time. Tl;dr: The couple in the last story are both wrong and need to compromise. Also, being a stay-at-home parent is a full time job regardless of that parent's gender or sex.
Yes it’s not a tantrum by the husbands reaction you can CLEARLY tell that the make-up is WAYYYYYYYY more expensive then subscriptions so why don’t you put a limit on both of theirs I mean as you can tell the kids are very young so that’s a fuck ton of work to even keep them alive for ten minutes so why does she get to spend all the money while he can’t like tffffff
I want to agree with you, I do. However, if her makeup was that expensive I think she would have cut it down to afford feminine products. She said even that is hard for her to afford. I think they can cut done the husband's streaming service to at most two. Also she said he is unemployed. So it doesn't sound like they agreed that he be a stay at home dad but circumstances made it so. (Again just my opinion) I think they should sit down and plan their budget as a family. Make a plan where they can both raise other avenues for money while at the same time cutting down on non essentials. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, PLEASE DON'T BE TOO HARSH IN YOUR REPLY.
@@kadoradaniels8117 We only have one side of the story, so all we can really do is speculate based on the side we heard. It's not clear what their current arrangement is. It would change things if they didn't both agree on the current setup, but it's also not clear if they'd be able to afford childcare if the husband did find work. Monthly childcare costs are a lot more than $80. The average cost of providing center-based care for an infant in the U.S. is $1,230 per month. Add the cost of childcare for their toddler on top of that, and it's very likely that they would be in an even worse financial situation if the husband stopped providing all the childcare. There are a lot of families that end up in a situation where the lower earning partner needs to become the one in charge of childcare so they can manage childcare expenses. Like I said in my initial post, I 100% agree that the husband is acting immature and entitled if he really said what he did about he streaming services being the priority over formula. Still, I understand why he's upset if the case is that he's working as a full-time stay-at-home parent out of financial necessity and is told by OP that he doesn't deserve any luxuries because being a stay-at-home parent isn't a real job. I think they should prioritize their expenses, but split their fun money if they're in a situation where one of them needs to be a stay-at-home parent. OP came off as pretty defensive about her makeup spending to me and seemed to avoid giving a number for that amount, but it's totally possible that she didn't spend much--we just don't know since OP kept that vague. In the end, we both agree that they need to communicate and compromise and both need to reduce their for-fun spending to afford their essentials, so I think we agree about the solution given the information we have
Right? I am a stay at home parent, and I think both partners suck in this situation. Clearly they can both make sacrifices, but they will need to figure out how to communicate effectively instead of pointing fingers. I don’t think the wife has enough respect for her husband staying at home, and I think her husband is way out of touch for expecting formula to be the things they stop paying for.
I think he should be stripped of those services if hes prioritizing those over the babys food, you dont see the wife saying shes not gonna compromise, she actually sat him down, and the make up comments where to keep the services, NOT to make a compromise. If the delivery was done right i wouldve said esh but no
For that 2nd story: I might be a guy, but I consider myself a feminist. I can't speak for everyone who identifies as such but I can say that my idea of feminism is to treat people as thinking individuals. Thinking that woman are beyond being scolded for inappropriate behavior to the point where you refuse to call one out for predatory behavior is sexist. It sexist to the guy because it strips away his ability to say no and it's sexist to the woman because it makes it seems likes she's so infantile that she has no control over her actions. I hate fake feminist. It makes issues woman actually face much harder to talk about.
You're absolutely right. I see more women than I'd like targeting men while part of the message is that women are wives, mothers, sisters, friends, etc. What about the men in my life? I wouldn't want my father, brother, or husband to be harmed anymore than I would want my mother or friends to be.
It's exactly that poster that I see around: _Feminism is the radical idea of believing women are equal._ Equal means equal in EVERY circumstance. (I'm female, consider myself a feminist.)
Fully agree. It's worth simply saying that it's not a women being women thing, it's a people being people thing. I believe strongly in bodily autonomy and wearing what makes you comfortable, but there's an obvious pattern and obvious motive. She's not exempt because she's a woman
kinda sad that you even consider that as some sort of achievement if op hadn't backed her husband then obviously they would have stopped at boyfriend and girlfriend
@@tiredman99 It's true. A friend of mine was the target of sexual harassment and no one beileved he was the victim, the girl who harassed him tried to claim he was harassing her and the only reason the truth came out was because my friend told them there was no way he'd do that because he is GAY! She got caught in her lie and got in trouble, but not nearly as much as she should have been
Child support story: nta and that seems like OP went through with some malicious compliance. The ex said to file, OP did, and then the ex ends up with a surprised pikachu face. I see nothing wrong with that
Lol. That happened to my mom and me. She was living rent free (because my dad paid the mortgage on the house) collecting child support while not working and wouldn't give me a dime for college (I lived on campus so its not like she was paying for my food and room) so she told me to go complain to my dad if I needed money for college. I did. He took her to court and told the judge he would gladly pay my tuition since I lived on campus and my room and board instead of child support to my mom. The judge agreed. She was pissed but I was happy.
I’m a sibling to my autistic sibling. The first one hit real close to home because A LOT of the times (and this is not just me) the parents will sacrifice the neurotypical child’s needs for the neurodivergent one and expect them to understand. And when they rightfully so are upset about it, the parents take out the stress from caring for their autistic child onto the other. It’s really messed up. If there are any parents of both neurotypical and neurodivergent children reading this, please don’t forget about your other kids. They get hurt by being treated like that and believe their needs don’t matter.
My family went to an amusement park and the whole lot of us simultaneously flipped off the rollercoaster's camera on our way passed it. There was a TV that showed all the photos taken during the ride and we got a good laugh when the TV showed our photo. Of course, we went to buy our photo, but when we did, the person selling the photos actually told us off for it and refused to sell us the photo because it was apparently against policy.
It's sad but the first story is a classic case of adultification and entitlement. Adultification is when parents force their kid/s into adult roles and responsibilities such as (but not limited to) paying rent, raising the younger kids and not being allowed "childish" things like birthdays. This is especially common in families with one disabled child and one abled child.
1st story... i would, as the 16 year old, go to my guidance counselor and tell them about the theft, or even be as petty as to call the police on them to get it back.
It's not petty. It's all the money she had in the world, and it's not the first time her mother searched her room and stole from her. Absolutely report the thieving narcissists to the police.
First story: OP needs to bail out at 18. Fuck those thieves Second story:Glad he came forward before she lied about him doing stuff to her without her consent. Third story: The guy selling photos needs to be more professional
Last story: To me, everyone sucks here. She doesn't want to budge on wearing makeup, and he doesn't want to budge on letting go on some of his streaming services. Where I think the hubby went out of line is when he asked the wife to let go of formula and breastfeed. That isn't a right to have netflix, that is a comfort. I do believe, however, that they could have met each other half way. I understand that makeup is part of her personality, but some of those kits, specifically brand ones, are super expensive. I also understand that it can be frustrating to be the sole breadwinner in a family but, it also feels like he has the right to feel upset when he is the stay at home parent and maybe doesn't feel valued when it is only him who has to compromise, while the wife doesn't. Overall, I think it is a 50/50 blame shifting back and forth here, that escalated to a callous argument because they don't really work as a couple, but as separate people who happened to be in a relationship.
yep. I thought she was going to mention she buys cheap makeup or something but nope, it's just "part of her personality" lol. if money is that tight, she should cut back too. he was way out line to suggest cutting the formula though, he should've stuck with the makeup argument
well it's from her perspective, so you need to consider that too. She briefly mentions that he's a stay at home dad. Imagine if a working dad would want to cut of his "stay at home mom" wife's streaming services because "lack of money" while he's spending lots of money on going to sport matches because it's "part of his identity" BS being a stay at home parent is a job too, and if he does that right, she shouldn't be like "I'm the money maker" in fact that's abuse, he should consider divorcing her and getting alimony :)
@@NaliTikva I did take both perspectives into account because I am an outsider. I don't live with those folks. Yes, I agree that parenting is work (good or bad, I can't judge since no info) but my point stands. Concessions on either sides would probably make it less of an attack and more of a team working together. Thanks for your opinion, but I am disagreeing with you that, while it is, like you said, from her perspective, it isn't about who gets what but also to set an example for the kids that they can work together. 😊
this is exactly what i wanted to say. it disappointed me that rslash didnt even acknowledge that op was also refusing to make any sort of sacrifice. the husband isnt even entirely wrong. being a stay at home dad is a lot of work, and having the streaming services is a good way to de-stress. however, he does not need all of them. and i guarantee you, op does NOT need all of the make up she buys. on top of that, even cheap make up probably costs about as much if not more in monthly upkeep the husband went too far with what he said, but he was justified in his anger at leasg
5th story: I'd say ESH for the same reason she stated to him: money is tight and they have 2 kids to worry about. If you're counter argument is "you know it's part of my personality!" then maybe they should both revise their budgeting and spending habits.
Military kid here. With a dad who was medically discharged. The VA(Veterans Affairs) will give him money to give to OP. Definitely not the ahole. OP should contact the VA as well, the state will tell him to pay but the VA should make sure he does. (Unless rules have changed)
I can understand borrowing money when times were tough. My single mother had to borrow from her children to make ends meet sometimes, but she always asked us and she always paid us back. What OP's parents did wasn't borrowing, it was stealing plain and simple. Its also "great" how they got mad at her and had a convenient excuse to not pay her back whe she got understandably angry at them. Why are they looking around your room for money anyway? That sounds more like junkies to me, though I guess its technically for a more nobler purpose than drugs. Still isn't right what they did though.
The problem is, whether the police do anything about it or not, OP still has to live with their family until they are able to move out. It’s better if OP continues to save their money and make plans to move out asap. Since the parents clearly have no problem stealing from her, it might be better for her to buy a lockbox or just keep the money elsewhere.
IKR? The dad's(if you can even call him one) logic is absolute BS. OP is the spoiled brat for calling YOU out?! I...I'm just speechless over his foul logic! The mom(if you can call her one) isn't getting a free pass either, because she was the one who took the money, and agreeing with entitled dad's logic, so f*ck her too.
@@dizzysdoings I hope a bank is an option, that was how I kept my money safe when I was a teen with a paper route. OP sounded like she had a lot of initiative to even get that money in the first place, so I am guessing the extra travel would not be problematic.
@@songbird-wj4yj The police won't do shit. but calling the police could set a precedent on how far the kid is willing to go to protect her assets. Not sure if it's the best approach but that approach have some merits.
1st story makes me so mad!! Parents stealing from their own children is evil! She called them out for bring thieves, and they got indignant. OP is being abused. Move out as soon as you are an adult. 2nd story: SIL's friend is out of line and need to be kicked out. No means no!!
OP, please get out of that situation. Your parents are not only thieves, you had every right to call them out on their behavior. Put any money you make in a savings account, and set the password to only one that you know. That was your money that you were saving. This is not only abuse, this is considered financial abuse, too. Go no contact when you move out . It's the only way to have peace in your life.
I dont think legally shes protected with a savings account, especially if shes in a low-income family/neighborhood. Where, at the least it isnt practical even if legal. Personally just never hide anything in the one place mankind has been notoriously known for since the dawn of time that its in every single comic, movie, joke regarding hiding things.
@@matthew9326 i remember all the epic and unfortunate reddit stories about people that grew up not knowing they were already tens of thousands or hundreds in debt because of this situation.
Op should find a better hiding spot for their money. If the mom always finds it under the bed. Get creative. Hide it in a vent or make a secret compartment in the sock drawer.
Story one: have a trustworthy friend or friends parent keep any savings so that her parents can’t take the money. Move out as soon as you turn 18. You have no relationship, you have parasites for parents.
Parent thieves: NtA op should move out ASAP Reviling clothes: NtA sister is probably getting lied to and needs to understand that op and her husband get to choose who can be in their home Child support: NtA it's not a great situation but he played a stupid game and won a price he didn't like Lazy husband: NtA I understood at 15 if I wanted random expensive stuff I had to pay for it
That first story hit hard, When shes able, she should walk away and never look back! You cant choose your family however you can choose your friends. Good luck OP.
That first story really pisses me off and I'm glad OP is only two years away from never having to deal with those people again. It's too bad you need your parents permission to be emancipated or I'd suggest she take that route. Those people are awful and I hoe they realize it's their own fault she's eventually going to cut them out of her life and never look back.
There is government program for low income people with autistic children. And the first one. It should been the case. And not take from take from their 16 year old child to paid for the 14 old autistic child.
Do you know the name of the program? I just received my autism and ADHD diagnosis and I'm taking my son in soon to get his autism diagnosis (it's been a long time coming but I finally found a good psychiatrist).
@@karlaboerger3619 Sometimes apartments, sometimes a shared house with other disabled roomies and on-site staff 24/7. People should have the right to live as independently as possible.
story 1: jesus i am autistic and this is not how to raise an autistic person you have to teach them you cant have everything in your life if i was OP i will go to the police
Fellow autistic here, and I agree with this sentiment. I’m tired of seeing these Reddit stories of autistic people not being treated or raised properly.
Hello fellow autists! Fully agree, you need taught responsibility, structure, consequences, you can’t go your entire life being coddled because you won’t be set up for living your own independent life (if you can, that is). Fed up seeing autistic kids not being raised properly and being used to win arguments/to look like amazing parents. We’re people, not props.
What the parents did was perfectly legal. It doesnt count as abuse, and as a minor (OP is turning 16) the minors possessions are legally her parents. Does it suck...YES. Is it illegal? No.
For the first story Imagine calling your almost 16 child a spoiled brat but your daughter was gonna throw a tantrum, they got the shoes she wanted using said 16 Year old's money If anything that shows that who the favorite is
I am the autistic brother of my family, yet was treated the opposite than the story in the video. My brother always got whatever he wanted and fancy birthdays at McDonald's, I asked why my birthdays weren't fancy and was told it was because I had no friends and it would be a waste.
First Story: NTA Dad: Your way out of line... Also Dad and the Mom: Bought some sneakers for her sister from her own money, forgot her birthday and grounded her. -Wheres the logic there, she's still a minor and she save her own money its not theirs-
To be fair, I was raised in "this isn't your house. I pay the bills so it's mine. I can get rid of anything you have, even if you bought it (my dad's done it). If it's in my house, it's mine, not yours." And, now, if I have kids, I wouldn't be like that. But maybe that's the way the parents saw the money. Sad but true.
@@lillylovegood2300 almost all these scenarios, why don't people just call the cops? Weord to me, I would just call if I was in OPs shoes. Parents lie about the money? Show proof of being paid and friends testimonies. Better yet, the call logs.
@@lillylovegood2300 You should have record it, and one day when you earn more than they do, you should just treated them back as they treated you. Fair is fair
@@c001Ba30nDuD ehhhhh it's hard when you have a dad like mine who got out of jail and then blamed you for everything because "who the fuck puts their own dad in jail for losing his cool and doing unspeakable shit" so my entire family hates me over his dumbass choices. I don't have a family that's healthy at all
First story: family sounds like they want a daughter who goes no-contact at 18. Edit to add: For the stay at home dad story: 1. offering to let him keep 1 streaming service is incredibly generous, if it's a choice between a luxury, and the kids... then that's not a choice. 2. That *does* go both ways however. If you're in a position to have to choose between the kids and a luxury, the kids need to come first, and makeup *is* a luxury; not a personality trait. Buying and wearing makeup should go on the back burner, until after everything else is taken care of. 1st order priorities: Rent/Utilities/Food 2nd order priorities: hygine/kids needs not covered by food 3rd order priorities: savings/anything else that you absolutely need to keep your household running. After all of that is sorted, then you can worry about makeup. Oh, and the manchild can sort his own shit out after he has a job, and contributes to the above needs.
@@thiago97klein maybe, but; 1. OP did not state that was the case. 2. Even if they do, it doesn't change my point, or make his reaction any less shit. 3. OP's comment about her husband being able to get channels back when he gets a job and can pay for them, indicates that they do *not* have an arangement for this.
@@RevokFarthis well we never know when people lie on reddit, rslash have posted the same story from 2 perspectives that were completly different. imo they are both spoiled adults
honestly both parents sound as bad as each other, but at least with netflix the kids can have something to watch but like why the hell would you put make up over your hygiene products? And if she's that worried about her appearance it kinda gets me thinking how much stuff does she buy that goes into making herself look presentable and how expensive it all is? Both parents sound super crappy and the mother especially sounds so artificial, it wouldn't surprise me if there's more to this story she isn't bringing up...
@@Luminoxie thats what i think, imagine if we reverse the roles, it was the guy saying that he "needs" to buy games bc hes so stressed people would be chewing him in the comments
The first story op is old enough to get a bank account. Get one have your card on you at all times and refuse to tell them the passpin. Heck don’t even tell them you got a card.
Usually, if you are a minor, you need a parent or guardian to co-sign to get a bank account, and since she is living with her parents still, they would need to be the one to co-sign. She wouldn't be able to just go to any adult and have them co-sign.
Wow that deadbeat dad really threw a fit over cancelling subscriptions he doesn't even pay for. If he spent as much time watching the kids as he claims he wouldn't have the time to even be watching all the shows on each service. It's obvious his priorities are to himself and not his family
@@ReptillianStrike kind of think is a bit of a deadbeat. He's putting his wants before his child's needs. His wife has already cut back. It's not spending money on hygiene products. All she's asking him to do is cut back on the streaming service. Not go without no streaming service. Plus the story takes place in Canada and Canada has $10 a day daycare. And the simple fact that there are struggling to pay for hygiene product makes me think they don't make over the cap to be eligible for this program.
@@LLandS18 I agree that he's in the wrong for not compromising. I didn't know about the childcare program. If that's the case, yeah I can see why people would think that. Still don't think he's a deadbeat, but there's no reason why he can't find a job.
13:00 this story reminds me of my dad. My step mom (stay-at-home mom to my little sister at the time) wanted $30 for new, good rain boots since her old ones were literally held together with duct tape. My dad has horses and during the day, my step mom is the one out in the fields shoveling muck and shit, cleaning the horses off, feeding them and giving them love. She needs the boots to take care of them, and not get horse shit in her boots... So naturally my dad says "no, that's a waste of money," and instead goes and buys himself $500 worth of new hunting gear... nearly identical to the hunting gear he had in the basement. So my step mom said fuck that and when out and bought $60 rain boots; really nice ones with insulation for the cold months. Dad was fuming and threw a fit about it, like the absolute toddler he is.
The first OP could call the police and the police would deal with the situation. Theft is theft, it doesn't matter if you're a child and your parents are the thieves, trust me, I had to call the police on my abusive narcissistic Mother for stealing from me and it was dealt with. Please do something about it and see if you can get out, escape that situation ASAP. It will only get worse from now, please protect yourself.
@@janfgfdx5165 Same here. I went through hell with my mother and seeing stories of people suffering similar or the same breaks my heart and angers me to beyond mortal levels. It's horrific so many parents are just flat out cruel.
S1: Hard YTA!! You have NO RIGHT harassing a baby by calling it "cute" and putting all these unfair pressures on it. Plus, you're being totally judgmental as to YOUR definitions of what's "cute" and what's not. YTA! YTA! YTA! S2: NTA. No one seems to understand the pressures some people are under, and after being pushed to the brink, who WOULDN'T lash out. Besides, those people had it coming, because they called babies "cute".
@@velvety2006 trying to make fun of someone's job is a 'good' retort? I don't think so, that's a butthole move. And flipping off the camera is immature, worker should have kept that comment to himself, but it doesn't make change it.
@@leg369 and that family should have told them they just wanted to go with family instead of expecting op to out of his way to stay out of their picture. make stupid demands, you get stupid reactions. besides with the way those cameras are positioned it probably wouldn't have helped anyway, you just see someone bending over in the picture.
I can really relate to the second story. My mother always stole my birthday money and used it to buy herself things. I really feel for OP it's messed up what they are doing and I would suggest that she opens up a bank account and not tell her parents
Keep in mind not everyone really has relatives or any family outside of their home… I know I don’t. Shit all I even have in my home is my mom, that’s it, that’s all I have left, life’s unfair.
Fun fact depending on what state op is in you can move out and live with other relatives or with another family at 16. I know because my step sister did it. Now this can work in any state if the parents don't take legal action to get OP back. However since op has proof of mental and verbal abuse, financial abuse (as some one else pointed out. IDK if thats the proper term though), and if op can support the claim that their sister isn't being taught healthy coping mechanisms and other behavioral therapies for her autism, if their sister is low functioning enough to depend on their parents, she can get them in trouble for that too since they aren't taking the proper steps as carers to ensure what is best for their ward.
I be thinking if ops parents were to ask if she remembers their birthday, she'll have to pretend to forget, so that they don't get a DAMN THING. Especially money
Yeah, steal your daughter's money and call her a spoiled brat for saying the truth, and then act shocked when she moved outs. If that actually happens, the parents brought it on themselves.
yeah and she can get cheaper makeup or no makeup because if things are that tight then you can sacrifice both subscription services and makeup to ensure that bills can be handled
First story: Agree 100% But she should reconsider her friends if they would laugh at her for the abuse. Good friends would see the abuse for what it was and would be supportive.
Her friends are presumably her age and not necessarily well versed in what is abuse and not, especially since many adults can't even tell what is abuse. I agree that it would be best if her friends were supportive, but they might just not understand it well enough, and that's not their fault.
@@ShiftySqvirrel I sat here for 30 minutes trying to figure out how to say this with out sounding confrontational, or accusatory. But I'm having trouble with wording today. Please try to tread this in a conversational and adult tone. Sorry. By the age of 16 I, an autistic kid with the maturity of a 9 year old, was fully aware of right and wrong. So being told, " I have to postpone my birthday cause my parents stole my birthday money" would definitely raise red flags. Any 16 year old should have at least that level of understanding or situational awareness. If someone does not have it, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening, Even if they were raise too sheltered to understand this as abuse.
@@KakeraWolf You're not wrong, as a fellow autist, even when less mature that my age would indicate I too understood this. But the unfortunate truth is that now everyone does, though I suspect my experiences are colouring my perspective here, as I was bullied by kids my age until the age of 16, and they didn't seem to understand how it was wrong. To them it was just fun.
first story : yeah I would've called the cops on them. Parents or not, they literally stole from you and they dare being mad at you for being mad at them? I hope OP has other family members she can live with and get out of that toxic household.
I have a narcissistic abusive mother and a golden child younger sister. I haven't spoken to either in a long time. My mother favoured my sister, and they both bullied me. My mother's abuse and gaslighting was so bad that I got diagnosed with *PSYCHOSIS* at 16! Showing one of your kids favouritism is borderline fcking evil.
Bruh, my ex was diagnosed with psychosis and PTSD at 16. And knowing his past makes me feel terrible for others who had to endure anything that formed it. Shit is so terrible. And I hope you're growing and have healed from the abuse. ❤️ Keep your head up. 💚
@@lillylovegood2300 the one person I've know that went through the most shit before even being an adult is my ex also. It's tough to be in love with someone who went through so much, I think you know what I mean by that. I still believe she derserves the world and is a wonderful, talented and unique being. I'm over her, but I'm also very thankful for the relationship we had and the life lessons I learned in that time. Much love to you and your ex, I wish you the best 💜
@@soulgazer11 to be fair, I'm not the most stable with my own mental wellness. But I do get what your saying. And I wish only the best for you guys. I'm not over him, even though it's been a month. But I know he's moved on, and I'd like to hope he's happier.
Second story: that is straight up sexual harassment. The husband should get some male friend over that constantly exposes himself and flirts with his sister and see how long it takes for her to get uncomfortable.
@@My4InnerPeople yeah obviously don't actually do that. Im just pointing out some weird gendered double standard here. If the harassing friend was male and harassing the wife there would not be a single person in this story unclear as to who is the butthole here. Friend would be out of the door as soon as he tried to claim his balls needed some air.
I'll bet anything that, the moment OP decides to moves out, those parents will guilt-trip the f- out of her, begging her to stay so they can keep leeching off her money for the little sister... 4/5 is too good for them. Any parent who shows favoritism deserves 5/5 in my opinion.
The rollercoaster story made me laugh so hard, why are those parents using a rollercoaster camera for "a nice family photo"? What did they expect on a public place??
Thank you for caring so much about people in abusive situations; a few years back I could’ve used someone pointing me towards resources like you regularly do in your videos
First story: I would call CPS. OP do you have a family member you can tell, a teacher or someone? Otherwise, work hard get a good scholarship, move out of State and go no contact with your parents. They deserve no less
First story: Simple as it is, it was theft. It was HER money that she earned HERSELF. She didn't get the money from her parents, so they don't get to take it. And when she called them out for that, they don't take any responsibility but instead get mad at her for being upset. She called them what they are, and the father not only didn't care, but just yelled at her. I also go woth child abuse here
I'm the autistic sister in my family and unfortunately it was my stuff and my money that was stolen over and over and over again. Eventually I ended up in the foster care system because "I'm such hard work and an awful human being" according to my narcissistic mother :-/ I know exactly how the op in the 1st story feels :(
I would simply wait until everyone went out and just straight up take my money back, bury it in the park somewhere and then act like I don’t know what they mean when they DO notice it’s gone. “If they wanna play stupid games, give them stupid prizes.”
@@mariposa9506 Then she should rifle through their belongings, taking any cash she can find and bury it like the guy above said. And tell them that someone broke into the house and stole money.
In the first story, OP should file a theft report with the local PD and sue them in small claims court. It doesn’t matter how small the amount, theft over $20 still warrants a report and small claims suit. Also file for emancipation, call CPS.
Story 1: NTA, at all. I fondly remember my 16th birthday, moreso than any other. My parents were divorced, and mom and my siblings and I had just moved. I was upset about not seeing my friends anymore, and even more upset when I found out I'd be spending it with the parent who completely didn't want anything to do with me. Also worth noting, five weeks prior, I had been attacked by a rabid coyote and I was still sore from Rabies shots. But I was blown away. Dad did something incredible. For once, he asked me what I wanted for dinner. The man made a mean homemade pizza, and I immediately went for that. He agreed. He let me invite my friends. This was twelve years ago and the last time I ever got to see most of them. I got a proper goodbye. I think he even homemade the cake (a tradition), though I don't remember what he did for it. (My favorite was when I was eight or nine, and he did a really cool turtle!!) We all hung out at the house, shortly before it was sold, and we had... fun. It was the only party I ever had at home with my friends after age 8 and it was truly incredible. I legitimately am glad he put aside his dislike to make that day magical. I'm still grateful for it. The only regrets I have were that mom and my beloved chow chow (RIP, we lost her this year) were not there with me.
The last story is kind of concerning. Sounds like the husband is depressed and is using the online streaming services as a crutch. Think the wife and husband need to sit down to talk about their relationship but more importantly what they are feeling. My wife went through something similar when she became a stay at home mother. Until the root of the problem is addressed and worked on, things will not improve in that household.
Right? Look both of them can compromise. He can keep 2 or maybe 3 if they are cheaper, streaming services, she can buy a little less makeup/cheaper (provided the cheaper stuff is not a skin irritant) Raising children together is a co-op event not competitive even if you are p[laying different roles. Finances affect you all when you live together. Both of them are being too stubborn. Money is short? I cancel game subscriptions, she buys less yarn, we work it out together by both making little sacrifices. You know like a healthy communicating couple? Edit: Also I think R/slash is way too hard on the guy. He does work for those channels. By raising the kids while she is working (provided he does that reasonably well) should entitle him to SOME of the money she makes. Kinda unfair to expect anyone to raise children for nothing but a roof over there head and food.
@@TheWeaponshold yea it sounds like she is treating him solely as something to watch the child while she works, if this story were reversed I can guarantee that r/slash would givin the dude 5/5 and the mom 0/5 cuz being a mother is a full time job, but when a guy is doing it it’s just parental duty.
Last story: We need clarification, is he "unemployed" or a "stay at home parent"? If he's not working because it's more cost effective to stay home than hire child care services, that would be a significant contribution to the household finances, and he should have a little spending money, just as a stay at home mom should have. If he simply can't get a job or doesn't want to, and childcare would be affordable, then he's just being lazy. Just do the math. A child care service usually costs about $15/hr. If needed while mom is at work for 8 hours a day, they would be paying $600 a week for that service. So if the husband is providing these services in lieu hiring a service, that sounds like a good base wage he should be expecting from his wife for the services rendered. But they're his kids too, he's on the hook for half the cost of paying himself, so his compensation is now $300 a week. Then he has to pay his half of the bills, rent/mortgage, groceries, taxes, utilities, insurance (health, home, auto etc) and expenses associated with the kids. After he's paid his half, whatever if left over is his discretionary money. If he's frugal, he might have an extra $50 at the end of the week, more than enough for his streaming services, or more likely he can't even cover his half of the expenses, in which case, if he can earn more than 15/hr after taxes, he should get a job and hire a childcare professional or use a daycare service. And don't fall for the "it's the economy" crap, there are tens of thousands of good paying work-from home jobs post-covid that enable him to work for a company that's located anywhere in the world. He could make a respectable income and be home with the kids if he wanted to. If both husband and wife are content with his stay-at-home status, he should be tending to the kids, the cooking, cleaning etc. No TV during the day, that's his work time. And for fuck sake, if he can't afford a streaming service, that's what BitTorrent is for, lol. Or share accounts. He gets one account, his friend gets another and they swap logins. He can set up a VPN so it looks like they're all originating from the same IP address. This isn't rocket science, and he certainly has time and incentive to figure it out.
My family looks at it like this: you wouldn't expect a babysitter to clean and do chores beyond their means. Stay at home parents should have these same standards and just do what you expect a babysitter to do. If that means tv time, cool. But I don't think it is fair to say he gets no tv all day and has to cook/clean/do chores while keeping 2 babies taken care of. Maybe when they are older, or maybe napping. From the sound of it, I don't think he gets any spending money for himself. It also comes off as streaming services are his only entertainment. I think if hobbies need to be cut to save money, maybe cut half streaming services but also cut half of makeup spending. Apparently she is buying it regularly enough for him to say something and her to get very upset about it. It should be a 50/50 for saving, his hobby in half, hers in half. Fairness all around.
The lady honestly seems a little entitled to me. If he is truly a stay at home dad and takes care of two kids and cooks and cleans and it only costs her 80 to 100 a month, she should be happy to get off that light. Her reaction to the makeup things says it all.
@@Oberkaptain we don't know how much she spends on makeup. You can buy it in Dollar Tree. And, depending on her job, it may not be a luxury. A woman is supposed to have a certain "look" in some jobs.
Last Story: I wonder if the judgement would be different if it would be a stay-at-home mom. Honestly the point is, that they just can't afford to have one parent staying at home. So untill the guy gets a job they all need to cut short all unnecessary things.
The husband in 2nd story was probably also terrified of being accused of "being attracted" to the friend and even of cheating on his wife because of the "friend's" (sorry a friend doesn't pull that crap) actions. I'm glad he felt like he could tell his wife and they have a solid relationship there. Parents in the 3rd story were just too cheap to get a real family portrait, and OP had every right to pose however they wanted in a picture they were in, I'd have told them to pay me to give them the photo that would have otherwise probably cost them $100 plus.
Story 1: OP as soon as Dad said "I'll pay you back next month" should've responded with "You have till friday then I get the cops involved. Do NOT test me."
There was an AITA story where the redditor did exactly that. End result: extended family cut off financial support to the parents an op moved in with their grandparents.
@@andredunbar3773 I think I remember that story! Wasn't op like a, "Donor child?" Where the parents used op to take care of her sister, and the parents took money from relatives that was supposed to pay for a professional to take care of the sister?
@@L4xu0rii_PNG That's a similar story. That OP didn't record their parents playing favorites, but did say that they hated their disabled sibling. Fortunately,they realized that what they hated was how their parents treated them. That story was titled "AITA for saying I hate my sibling?" or something similar. I believe the one I was originally referring to was titled "AITA for recording proof of my parents' favoritism?"
This first story breaks my heart. With my mother, this made sense and she ASKED me to lend her the money I saved because she was in a tight spot. AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS PAY IT BACK LATER WHEN SHE COULD! The fact the mom went out of her way to look for it without asking, and then getting upset because the daughter was upset....augh.
Same. Me AND my husband would often lend money to our own parents growing up. So now w our daughter we made a promise 2 her n each other that if we had to take money from her wed pay it back DOUBLE.
My mom does that too. She asks me and my brother to borrow a bit of money (max she's asked from either of us is equivalent to $4) and she ALWAYS pays us back when she can. I'm just glad that she at least pays us back since I've never gotten allowance
That dad needs his ass kicked
Bro it is really nice to hear these stories and also those parents in the first story are not going to pay the op back it is easy to know that.
@@rainbow_demon6612 Totally. They’re nothing but thieves and stealing from their own child. Crazy
1st story, OP is NOT the ass. the parents are, if anyone is throwing a 3 year old tantrum it's the sister and the parents basically enable it! I have autism myself and throw tantrums myself when I was younger, I threw chairs and everything. But I at LEAST get punishments for it.
Edit: HOLY SHIT I didn't think I'd get that many likes!
Yea same
Yea but you gotta understand that every one that has autism isn’t on the same level as you so it can be different. I agree tho
If that were me, I'll be calling the police on them for theft. I don't give a crap if they are "faaaamily", theft is f*cking theft!
Same, i also have ASD, but my parents dont coddle me, they have me work extra hard to get over my failings. What happened to OP is mega bullshit
@@mutedpeeps5189 that still isn't excuse to throw a tuntrum like a infant
2nd story: I felt so bad for the husband because I'm also touch-averse, but it's great his wife understands that.
Male or female, sexual harassment is sexual harassment.
yeah, just imagine if the genders were flipped. If a dude who had a crush on a woman just took his pants off in front of her, despite her obvious and clear objections.
Everyone would be (rightfully) angry. Because that's disgusting, and actually illegal.
This is DISGUSTING that poor husband. I would of kicked her out IMMEDIATELY! What the hell is wrong with her? Shes probably one of those people who think men cant get abused.
I totally agree, I've had panic attacks due to someone I don't like touching me. Hands are huge no-nos, too. If I were in the husband's situation, I probably would have broken sooner tbh. It's lucky he has a real support structure with his wife.
the fact that she even had the audacity to even flirt with a MARRIED MAN in his house against his will is beyond me. Do ppl like this really exist?
@@Toastiel yeah. Sadly they do. It grosses me out the way people can be such animals sometimes.
First story: NTA Isn't it interesting how father has a temper and how well he's able to discipline OP, yet, he's unable to prevent OP's sister meltdown. I call bullshit. He's a thief and so is his wife, and OP's sister is their golden child; they both knew that they were going to spend OP's money when they went shopping.
11:50 He literally told OP’s husband for her to “go ahead and file through the state and it’ll show I don’t owe anything.” That’s exactly what OP did and proved him wrong. Ladies and Gentlemen we have a new contestant on “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”
Why is this so far down?!?
sounds like malicious compliance
2:36 ironic that they're calling OP spoiled when the literally bought the younger sister sneakers to prevent her from having a tantrum. Autistic or not, you NEVER give in to your kids' tantrums. Because that teaches them they can cry to get whatever they want.
tantrums aren't autistic meltdowns, but i agree, there is no need to give in. there are ways to help autistic children cope otherwise.
Edit: actually I think that kid had to be throwing a tantrum and they called it an autistic meltdown because they can't tell the difference. A meltdown has no end goal in site, no desire to gain anything. It's a fight or flight reaction. A tantrum has a goal. So, they either made that story up, or that child was throwing a tantrum and their ignorance of autism made them respond inappropriately. How are you going to have an autistic child and not know that much about autism..
@@PapaJunos considering that I went 17 years before diagnosis, I am not surprised they don't know anything about autism. I do know what a meltdown is, I just simplified terminology since not everyone else does
@@PapaJunos to be fair, girls with autism typically behave very differently from what is considered "normal" for someone with autism because all studies done on autism were based off of boys, not girls. Most girls with autism go YEARS without being diagnosed, whereas boys usually get diagnosed by 2 or 3 years old. I'm surprised their daughter was diagnosed so early on, hers must have been severe. The parents are wrong whether it a meltdown or not, but not surprising if they don't understand her autism.
Can bet $170 that the next time they need money to appease the sister they will try to take OP's money again
That was HORRIBLE.
Small detail in the first story:
The dad said that the sister was going to have a meltdown in the shop because she wanted the shoes then and there and they didn't have enough money, but the mum just happened to have OP's money? BS. Either they're so thick that what they say doesn't add up, or they intentionally stole the money because they were going to spend money on the sister. I would stake everything that I own that it's the latter.
I also wouldn't be surprised if the shoes the sister wanted didn't cost the full $120 and the parents pocketed the rest, and I'll go so far as to say it's likely they spent it on themselves, not her, which is why they got so defensive. Like yeah, some shoes absolutely cost that much, but I wouldn't put it past these douchebags.
I love to see that brat dad lose his temper in front of the cops, and we get a new version of Don’t Taze Me Bro! XD
My thing is the mom HAPPENED to steal all of OP's money, and then her sister HAPPENED to throw a fit over something worth exactly the amount that the mom stole? The parents 100% intended to steal so that OP couldn't spend her money on her own.
This is what we call financial abuse, children.
The "no b-day cause we're poor" is what sealed it for me. My family has been dirty poor for most of my life, I was the middle one out of 5 with the youngest having his birthday 4 days after mine, not even to mention that I hated my own birthdays because I always saw them as reminders that my time is running (had some issues with death acceptance). And still with that my parents made an effort to make me feel special. Those two simply couldn't be bothered.
I assumed that they told the sister that they would go get the money to pay for the shoes and come back.
As someone on the autism spectrum, I can safely say that there are ways to teach austistic people to manage the more extreme emotions that don't involve giving in every time or treating them like monsters. Yeah it's a challenge, but I see special needs kids with behaviour problems because the adults gave in every time to avoid the meltdown rather than try a different tactic.
They probably lied and just wanted the free money. The sneakers were doubtful a full $120. Even a good pair shouldn't be more than $80. Prolly got a few goodies for themselves with it.
@@jamesmurphy7828 I agree. They were NOT holding onto that money for security, they had plans to spend it all along
I 100% agree. My brother’s autistic & he’s learned how to respect boundaries. He still has problems, but we help him with them, and now he has a bachelor’s degree and a part-time job at an art museum. He’s also an artist himself and does volunteer stuff. I guarantee that this agency and self-respect brings him more happiness than a pair of sneakers would.
I agree, especially with the 14 year olds age. If the child was 3/4 like mine is, I would be a bit more understanding, but the stealing part is still fucked.
This
That first story really got my blood boiling. I can understand hard times and birthday celebrations might not be in the cards, but that doesn't excuse them. They stole money from the oldest daughter which she worked for, and not an insignificant amount, spent it to spoil their other daughter (and no, the special needs thing is not excusable), and then punished the other daughter when she rightfully called them out?! And the OP tells it as if her mother has stolen money from her before. I hope she got better at hiding her money and cut off contact with her parents after that. rSlash, you are nicer than I am because I would've given them the full 5/5. But I understand that you reserve those scores for the worst of the worst.
Also they said they didn't have money to spare to buy the sneakers. If they didn't have 120 dollars to spare between the parents, why get the sneakers.
The parents called OP, a 'spoiled brat throwing a tantrum', but ironically, they are creating those very traits in your sister by appeasing her 'tantrums' by getting what she wants.
I'm special needs myself. And no, autism is not an excuse to be an asshole. The parents are just spoiling their golden child and abusing their scapegoat. I hope OP can leave and cut contact soon. The sister on the other hand needs professional help. Having a meltdown because you can't have something is 3 year old behaviour. I was like that when I was a toddler. I know I can't always buy everything I want. I just had to learn that first. But yeah, the sister needs help. But I know not every country has organisations for that. Which is sad, because special needs people need way more help then they are getting in most countries. At least my country has good help for special needs people like me.
@@Nikita_Akashya I'm also autistic and agree that they should not have done that
@@Nikita_Akashya I'm autistic too, and honestly, I think this is something that runs deeper. Sometimes if neurotypical parents have an autistic child, they spoil them because they're "special needs," which I'm starting to wonder if that counts as infantilization. And I just looked up this user, and in one comment that she replied to, she said that her parents never really celebrated her birthday and complained about how much they spend for her sister's medical needs. So, while I think it is possible that OP's sister has other medical needs, I'm pretty sure she had a "meltdown" over the sneakers because her parents spoiled her because ShE dOeSn'T KnOW bEtTer.
2nd Story: She isn't not allowed to come over anymore because she's wearing skimpy clothes, she's not allowed to come over anymore because she's sexually harassing the husband.
It's isn't ever sexist to call out sexual harassment, and frankly, you're allowed to set rules in your own home, even if they would be a little unreasonable to expect in public, and this isn't at all unreasonable.
The thing that kinda hurts more is that he probably was dealing with that for a while, but bottled it up because, most probably, he was afraid of telling OP and being called a liar, cheater and a creep, since most people don't believe that men get sexually harassed...
About story number two I wonder why her fiancé called off the wedding
Bingo! It doesn't matter the gender either. This is definitely sexual harassment. Like Rslash said, I also wonder what the friend is telling the sister. It's unlikely she told her that she is trying to seduce her friend's brother. Although, if OP and her husband notices this, I'd be surprise is OP's SIL hasn't noticed.
Exactly. What was sexist was the sister defending her friend. Sexual harassment is still sexual harassment and I’d go as far as to say assault since she straight up pulled her pants down before and has grabbed his hand without consent as a way to seduce him.
I honestly think it's kind of gross that OP felt like she was being sexist for defending her husband. Like protecting him from sexual harassment was somehow a bad thing?
If the parents steal from their kids, they are failures as parents. Especially if it’s money the kid earned and saved, because they are aware of their family’s financial situation.
Seriously! That story makes my F*CKING blood boil. They stole from OP, and call her a spoiled brat for calling them out?! I swear, some parents is just asking to be beat up by strangers. Some parents just don't deserve kids, like these buttholes.
wHy sHouLd i CaRe aBoUt HoW tHeY fEEl? tHeY cAmE fRoM mY vAg/DiCk, aNd oWe mE tHeiR LiFe
/s
Edit: forgot the /s
@@novastar6112 That's implying that they even wanted to exist.
@@jessicanielsen3332 Try speaking with a counselor or a teacher at school. I don't know your situation but if you feel your parents are not acting in your best interest then you need another adult in your life to evaluate that situation.
@@jessicanielsen3332 my father used that line on me all the time as a kid, and loved to point out that I am provided food and shelter, as if that means anything other than “CPS won’t take you away!”
In the first story if the rolls were reversed the parents would have flipped the absolute fuck out. Stealing is stealing no matter the "reason".
It looks like there wad no "reason" at all when they first took it
I’m actually curious if the sister actually threw the tantrum. The mom knew she had money, and was conveniently at the mall. my a$$. They weren’t keeping the money safe. They stole for the sole purpose of spending it on their favorite daughter. They are thieves.
@@derekwhite1870 👏👏👏
@@derekwhite1870 Plus, after the dad screamed at OP for calling them thieves(which they are), mom had the gall to nod and agree with dad's absolutely flawless logic. I mean, what?! Pretty sure any parent can smell that BS logic from a mile away! Be careful nodding too much, you'll nod all your brain cells away, "mom".
I always hate when bread gets turned inside out
It’s heartbreaking that the husband got pushed to the point of shaking and crying. I’m happy he felt safe enough to go to his wife about this issue.
Exactly
People trying to touch other people is just plain weird. I’m like that husband who doesn’t like to be touched by people I’m not familiar with. It can go either way for me. A. I freeze up or B. That mother F. is gonna get their eyes scratched out. So fight or flight lol
It's honestly heartbreaking, that men can be s-xually harassed and even assaulted, when no one bats an eye. But when the genders are reversed it's suddenly a big deal.
I'm a woman of equality, I hate s-xism. Period.
@@lucar2293 KING!!! 👑
How can the sister in law NEVER have noticed the sudden wardrobe changes? She's in denial. And you'd think she would know her own brother well enough to know whether he was likely to be harassing this woman... you'd think she'd know the friend well enough to know whether she would pull a stunt like this.
"My Netflix subscriptions are a RIGHT, not a privilege!" - the most entitled and childish thing I've heard someone unironically say.
Like, my dude it ain't infringing on your rights if you can't watch Big Mouth or F is for Family due to money being tight. You should never decide that watching Netflix is more important than feeding your kid! OP is NTA 100%.
on the other side of the same coin, the fact she says "make up is apart of my personality" says just as much about her entitlement too. which everyone is glossing over.
@madgy I would need to know exactly what her makeup habits actually are. It's clear that at least, he is unreasonable, but you don't buy makeup palettes once a month and certainly not 2+ (Netflix and Hulu were mentioned, I forgot what was added). I would need to know if he was essentially strawmaning.
Do I think she should also put makeup before her kids? No. But that doesn't mean she doesn't get to have anything she wants when he has all the streaming services when he should just pick one.
@@madeleineerickson9268 Not necessarily. There, we just don't have enough information. She could be buying drugstore make up that works for her and she could be spending about fifty bucks for foundation, eyeliner/shadow, lipstick, and blush. Also, make up isn't something you have to pay for each month. Even if you go by what professionals advise and dispose of make up when the 'expiration' is, that's still only buying make up maybe twice a year. Once a year with some products.
Now, yes, if she was going to Sephora, Ulta, or another expensive place for make up, where you can easily spend over two hundred for make up, I'd say it's excessive. But again, that's once a year, maybe twice with some products. Spending eighty bucks a month on subscriptions equals almost a thousand dollars a year, as opposed to somewhere between one hundred and four hundred. There's really no comparison.
Plus, what if she has a job where she's expected to be made up every day? Those still exist, and if it is the case for her, she can't just stop wearing make up because her career could suffer.
From the sounds of it, her makeup is expensive. And the fact that she was like, he's just unemployed when he is the stay-at-home dad makes me instantly think that she is 100% the asshole. I'd still give him a few bits of asshole because of how he put the 'my right' but it sounds like that was in response to makeup is my personality more than anything else.
@@kateworkman921 if it was career based she would have used it in her argument instead of saying just it's part of her personality he has to accept it
Hard to explain she said she feels guilty for buying shoes or something but still wears makeup and I'm fencing an inconsistency in this story I don't want to say she's straight up lying but something seems off about this
As someone who's mother regularly stole money from me growing up, I know exactly how that young lady feels. By the time I was 16, I knew never to trust my mother with vial information or money. I got my Social Security card away from her by the time I was 12 and made sure I never gave her a cent again. It's been almost 40 years, and I still don't trust her, nor will I ever give her a cent. She tried to take credit cards out in the name of one of my sisters and even stole money from her own grandchild. A thief is a thief, and should always be called out on it.
1. The first OP SHOULD consider getting different friends, because if they laugh at a delayed birthday, then they dont deserve OP
2. Trying to appease an autistic child at every chance is NOT how you raise them. This sets them up for failure later in life when they expect everything to come to them instantly.
3. Those parents are abusive, and possibly setting up a narcissistic family dynamic. Id be running as soon as possible, and taking the sister with me away from those people.
she should go out for drinks w that 120 i did the same, her situation seems worse she can use a night out
I feel sorry for the autistic sister in this story aswell. I am sad that her maturity indepenced and teaching her that if she crys and uses her disorder she will get everything she wants. They fail as a parent instantly to both kids.
@@Gamer-nc8qp you cant rly do that if your sucky parents stole that money from you
There's taking care of a special needs child, then there's enabling. The parents are clearly enabling the sister. I have sympathy for this girl, because her parents stole from her at every opportunity. The money was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I hope her grandparents are still alive and not their children, cause she can probably move with them.
Imagine taking A KIDS MONEY that they worked for when you weren't doing anything for there birthday and when they call you out you dont punish them you should instead of apologize you ruined their birthday and took THEIR MONEY TO BUY YOUR OTHER KID sneakers
Seriously, OP needs to get away from them fast, and call the police on them for theft. I don't care if they are OP's parents, they freaking stole from OP and call her a spoiled brat for calling them out!
@@dracko158 FR! 120 is no small amount either! Especially not for a minor! I reckon the cops should get involved, those shit excuse of parents should face consequences, what assholes
@@kemonono OP could theoretically sue her parents for theft and possible emotional damage. Think about it, they STOLE their daughter's money, calls her a spoiled brat and grounds her simply because they are being called out?! That's huge grounds for suing them into the ground. If that's too much, I'll honestly call the police on them and force them to give the money back in front of the police.
@@storgephobia It's honestly a BS law. Who knows how many parents use this loophole to get away with stealing from their kids!
@@dracko158 exactly, I really think they should it's not $5 it's $120!
Entitled Dad: "You are grounded and we'll never celebrate your bday!"
OP: "Jokes On You! You've never celebrated my bday!"
For real though. How is taking something away from your kid a punishment when you never gave your kid that something to begin with?
Ugh yeah I was thinking this same thing....
These parents just have the Mr.Krabs personality/mentality and only cares about "Money, Money, Money!".
Now that I heard the story, I'm willing to bet that the ONLY reason why the parents are "Favoring" the Autistic Sister is because THEY KNOW that she'll get her Disability Checks/SSI Income when she's old enough. So spoil her now, take her rightful money in the near future and use her as an ATM.
If THAT'S the case, I'd get the CPS involved and get help from the rest of the family! "Parents" like them makes me SICK! Playing favorites, neglecting their one child and treating them as if they're not worth the same love as the Autistic Sister.
Entitled Dad: "You're grounded for calling us thieves, so we won't celebrate your birthday!!"
OP: *laughs*
Entitled Dad: "What's so funny?!"
OP: "Is that even a threat?"
@@CooperGal24 there is a money money issue and there iz thieving issue. First one can call it greedy, but 2nd one is just stealing
I can’t believe the sister would discard her own brothers feelings and comfort like that
I get if she was told a different story and the wife didn’t explain it but still
Imagine almost being assaulted and your own sibling calling you a monster after you kick out your assailant
Also if OP posts any updates can someone please link it below?
"AITA for kicking out my sister's friend for wearing revealing clothing?"
She literally grabbed your husband without consent, but that's what you focus on?
That title should be more like "my SIL's friend is harassing my husband
What a great video.the op that has selfish , thieving parents.should move out and go no contact.thank you for your stories
@Squid Game 2.0 in my channel bro go fucking get out of here
The only problem about that is that the OP is still a minor.
@@TheFlamingTurkey bummer.i hope and pray, that op can get out safely.my prayers are with you
@@TheFlamingTurkey OP should be a POS, and refuse to respect their POS parents until they can leave. What are they gonna do, hit the kid? Then they go to jail. I would call the parents theives every time i saw them, and move out the day i hit 18. These parents are garbage.
@@TheFlamingTurkey bigger problem will be to save money for the move out
Second story:
I wouldn’t be surprised if the friend of SIL was part of the reason why the fiancé called off the wedding
I was thinking the same thing
That’s a good theory. I didn’t even think about that
True AF.
Yep.
Could be. I was thinking the sister had put her up to it out of jealousy.
First story:
I have autism myself and would *never* expect my parents to put my sibling's birthday aside for me. This is a term I hate using, but OP's sister seems like the golden child of that family
I feel bad for both siblings. As someone with autism as well, it took me longer than most to learn social queues. The younger sister’s parents aren’t teaching her any social queues by spoiling her, which is going to make her future that much harder.
That said, it’s not the older sister’s responsibility to teach the younger sibling anything and it’s not right for the older sister to literally pay to spoil the younger one.
I myself have autism and not everyone who has autism are the exact same. Autism comes in a huge spectrum with varying behaviours. However that tantrum she threw at the shop I wouldn't say was a symptom of autism, if I had to guess I would assume she has been used to getting everything handed to her without consequences whatsoever possibly from favouritism or because they spoil her over the fact shes autistic.
@@MitzuMage no Bc literally tantrums aren’t the only signs of autism but everyone doesn’t consider the other signs and realize it’s a spectrum
@@kamillesmith2228 I litteraly said autism comes in a huge spectrum, i never said there was only one sign of autism there are litteraly many that's what the spectrum is. Plus the way you make it sound is like tantrums are only what autistic people do. Every child throws a tantrum that doesn't mean they have signs of autism. All I was saying was when she threw a tantrum the parents gave in and gave her what she wanted instead of putting their foot down and saying no. In this scenario it doesn't matter if your autistic or what you never give in to tantrums because then you're just teaching them they can get away with anything.
@@MitzuMage oh no I was agreeing with you sorry if it sounded like I wasn’t
Re: last story, as a stay at home father myself, I think it's important to remember that looking after a baby & toddler is absolutely as hard as a full time job. He might not be earning money for it, but in the face of it he's still contributing equally to the home as the bread-winning wife. So I'd argue that the money she's earning is both of theirs, not just hers.
THAT SAID... they clearly both need to have a talk about finances, work out what's essential (food, bills etc) and what they can cut to make ends meet. Multiple streaming services seems like a non-essential to me, but then again I don't see make-up as strictly essential either (depending on her job). But that's something they need to talk about together, not just shout at each other and make ultimatums. 🤦♂️
You put my thoughts better than I could.
Something didnt sit quite right with me with rslash going off on the husband, since honestly this seems more like they have a problem with budgeting on both ends. Even if makeup is somewhat necessary to her job, it should be possible to be a bit thrifty in how much she obtains.
My main criticism of the wife in this scenario is that she tied the makeup to her "personality" which... I'll be honest, makes it a luxury. If they can barely afford clothes and food, why is it okay for her to buy a decent amount of a luxury item?
Overall, they both have some sacrifices to make, but having only one of them give in while the other gets to reap benefits is only going to breed resentment more than is already present.
@@katherinegearing5188 - That is because r/Slash has read ALL of the post
She did post a comment about his stay at home parenting... "I'm not sure since I still do the cooking/cleaning/washing after I get home but he says that's my part of chores so I shouldn't complain."
Yep, he sits on his backside watching the TV - that is his role as a SAHP
The first story made me legitimately angry. I'm on the spectrum and one thing that triggers me a lot is a blatantly unfair situation. This is an example of just that. The fact that the mother went out of her way to search the bedroom and take the money BEFORE going out tells me they were planning on spending the money anyway, and when they were called out on it, the poor victim is grounded with no recourse or defence of any kind. Granted, it's the thought that there's not a thing she can do about it because of her father's abusive attitude and short temper that probably makes me angry because she has no-one who can really stand up for her except strangers on the Internet. I just hope in 2 years time she can get out... and that's assuming she can keep her money safe, which sounds like is impossible.
Dude, I'm on the spectrum and "triggered by a blatantly unfair situation" sounds about right for me too. I never thought about it in those words before.
Perspective from someone with autism who has an 11yo autistic son. I'm on SSI, which barely pays our rent. My son is able to understand what we can and cannot afford. He's also able to understand the value of the things we do buy. Yes he has breakdowns in public. We also know how to work him through it and not give in to his demands. It usually involves "I'm sorry we can't afford this right now. If we all save up we might be able to come back for it or find it cheaper online." Or finding him something we CAN afford. He's always very helpful when we're out shopping so I try to give him some sort of treat anyway.
In the case of the shoes, it's effing ridiculous that they'd be willing to spend their older daughter's hard-earned cash to spoil their younger. "She has autism" is no excuse. Autism explains things like comprehension and learning disabilities. It's not a get-out-of-jail-free card. They're spoiling her and neglecting and abusing the other. And spending over $100 on shoes that she might just grow out of is mind-boggling to me. Especially if these people are poor.
I also have autism, and you're absolutely right. It's not a get-out-of-jail-free card. I couldn't have put it better myself, but I find it personally insulting whenever people like OP1's parents do use autism as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
First story:
ED: "You should reconsider who you're friends with."
Me: "You should reconsider who your parents are."
TBF: If your "friends" are making fun of you for a rescheduled birthday you SHOULD re-evaluate that friendship. But that was the ONLY sensible thing the parents said in that situation.
The moment when he said: "NOW GET TF OUT OF MY FACE AND STAY GONE TIL I TELL. YOU. OTHERWISE.", I *really* wanted to punch a goddamn wall over how much entitlement venom is dripping out of his foul mouth.
I thought the exact same thing. emancipation is a thing.
OP should have said, "You should reconsider who your children are, since I'm old enough to be emancipated, and I can report you to the police for theft, to CPS for abuse, and make sure you lose custody of my younger sister, as well."
Second story solution is quite simple honestly, i assume SIL is not physically disabled (lives in the attic after all), she can meet her friend in public spaces not just their house. Its not cutting out a person out of her life, if she can still freely meet them.
Fair
And if she really likes the friend so much, she should go live with that friend.
@@H-to-O It's fucked up. If I had to live at my brother's house rent free, I'd be really grateful to him. I'd also be a bit embarrassed about the situation and want to move out asap. I wouldn't bring an overnight guest possibly ever, at least not often. It's mind-blowing how entitled she is.
I'll be perfectly honest, if I was in the roller coaster family's position, I'd think it would be absolutely hilarious to have a family photo with just a random person in it. Besides, it's totally normal to have several strangers in one of those coaster photos, so who cares?
The first story, Op needs to get out of there as soon as possible and go non-contact. It is an toxic relationship. And it is definitely abuse.
Certainly. They should be reported to the police for theft and to CPS for child abuse.
As someone who's also autistic, I would be devastated if I knew my sibling was told what op was told
I’d go to the store and return the shoes myself. And then I’d tell her she absolutely has no obligation to accept any apology or excuse from me. Seriously using autistic kids to justify being a thief is… I wanna say a new low but it’s actually a very familiar low.
It depends on how autistic that girl is, and if she even notices it. or cares for that manner she was raised spoiled from what we get to hear, So she might not realise the pain OP is in,
My partner has an autistic sister who's been treated like that all her life and I can honestly say, it's barely the kids fault. If the parents establish a double standard from day one that teaches the kid how to act and they grow up thinking it's normal. I've watched this 27 year old woman who still lives in her parentd house and works only 12 hours a week throw an absolute tantrum because she was asked to do the dishes after my partner and I made dinner for the whole family.
Second story: the friend deserves no less than 3 AHs. She's trying to destroy OPs relationship.
i thought the same thing. it's literally sexual harassment! she deserved a higher butthole score than that
6/5 buttholles
Anyone imagine rSlash making a lot of hand gestures when he said "IT'S AN AMUSEMENT PARK!"
LOL, I imagined him making a lot of hand gestures everytime he uses his “serious/stuffy” voice
"Why even open an amusement park if you call a kid immature and tell them to grow up?! Think Dude, Think!"
He was wrong, though. Lewd gestures are not allowed in amusement park photos...
@@missluciddreams3472 Who cares though? Clearly OP had no SERIOUS consequences for it and it wasn't like they kept doing it. They did it once to get a point across. That's it. Beyond that, who is really going to care?
@@closetgamer8315 the workers at Disney did when my bf did it...he only did it once on Splash Mnt and he was almost kicked out. The workers do care...
I am on the autistic spectrum, and the way my parents treated me was like everyone else. They did not cater to my meltdowns, and the reason was because I would never be able to fit in to this world. They didn't let me get into routines, and every time we drove somewhere, we always took a different route. I am proud of my parents because they made sure I had a normal life, not become some spoiled brat who always gets his own way.
Those parents are huge AHs and should NEVER cater to OPs sister's tantrums, especially by robbing OP of their birthday AND money.
The first story made me livid. How are you going to steal from someone and then get mad at them for calling them out. Also I would have found those shoes and destroyed them or taken them back myself.
The sister didn’t do anything wrong though why punish her if any thing steal the exact amount from the parents then see how they like it, even better show them the Reddit comments and get extended family involved
Yeah no that first story made me violently angry. Like genuinely pissed. I had any money I get taken when I was a kid bc “money was tight” to the point that I spent years into adulthood working like a slave giving my parents everything bc money was tight, being emotionally manipulated into helping them while my father would stay at home playing games. I spent years depressed thinking I had no future and had to be a parent for my brothers. I wouldn’t be surprised if op moves out and never speaks to her parents again. And honestly I hope she does
Same here, my mom has taken money from me. Even my birthday money, to pay off her grandmother. The 1000 that I got was mostly gone.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that. I hope you are out of that situation and are living your best life without feeling like you are beholden to them.
Seriously, that story make my goddamn blood boil. I am honestly speechless as to how f*cking stupid the dad's logic is. "My daughter call me and my wife thieves, therefore I'll yell at her, ground her, and call her a spoiled brat instead of apologizing and returning the money!"
Seriously, wtf is up with these parents?!
First story:
Not only is it actually only telling the truth to call them thieves, but that was *not* a 3 year old style tantrum. I have a 3 year old, and what happened here was actually a well-reasoned argument.
You're selfish for saving your own money to spend on your own birthday? You're selfish for not being ok with having your money stolen and spent on the "solution" to what actually WAS a 3 year old tantrum?
Your parents are toxic, OP. *NTA.*
Yeah: selfish for wanting to spend her own money she earned on herself. My mom was like her parents. She collected child support my dad paid for the mortgage so lived rent free. My senior year of high school she quit her job and started spending the child support willy nilly while hitting me up for cash. She would call me Selfish for not wanting to pay utilities or share the food I bought with my own money (oh and by share she means let her eat all of the food so I can not eat that day).
I am suspicious of the parent's excuse that they only bought the shoes to avoid a meltdown. So the mom "just happened" to take OPs money for "safekeeping" AND conveniently went to the mall AND then a shoe store or shoe section where the daughter could see and try on shoes but ONLY THEN decided to spend OPs money to avoid a meltdown? Please. The mom took the money with the full intention of spending it on the autistic daughter before she ever went to the mall. Why would the money be any more "safe" in mom's possession than under OP's bed? It wouldn't be, that was just an utter bullshit excuse the mom used to justify her actions.
@@claritey
Yeah, same
Well, as an autistic, I would not say the autistic sister was having a 3 year old tantrum. She was having a full-out meltdown. That's entirely different. A tantrum is done for attention and the child having it is in full control of themselves, whereas a meltdown is not done for attention and the child is completely out of control.
@@natesportyboy4939 OP was talking about the non-autistic 16 yr old girl being told by her father she had a tantrum like a 3 yr old not the autistic sister having a tantrum. The parents said they bought the shoes for the autistic sister to avoid her having a meltdown....although I question if that actually happened the way the parents described because why were they at the mall looking at shoes in the first place? Because they were there to spend the money the mom stole from the 16 yr old.
first story: this is how parents get cut off, they steal from, abuse, and neglect their children, and then when they're mad about it, they act like they've done nothing wrong. it is THEIR job to teach their autistic daughter not to be a terror (throwing a tantrum over shoes? I'm autistic and i was taught not to do that) AND to show their oldest child the love and respect op deserves. stealing from your kids is never okay.
second story: your husband is being harassed, plain and simple. it would be a little different if the friend wasnt doing anything and your husband was just complaining about her wearing a thin shirt, but the friend is SPECIFICALLY coming onto him. he's said no, and he's allowed to be upset about her continued advances.
Yes I got diagnosed autistic and that did not change SHIT with my fucking life if I throw a tantrum I get grounded.
Yeah, as others have said, that behavior is a tantrum, not a meltdown. A meltdown is a reaction to being in intense discomfort, physically or emotionally. A tantrum is screaming to get your way. Allowing the latter in this kid is infantilizing and will likely stunt her emotional maturity.
First story I would have tried to steal the receipt from their purses, returned the sneakers and hid the money with whatever friend I could trust.
I have an autistic brother, and my parents NEVER stole from me. If they needed money, they ask me. So these parents are thieves! The dad blew up because he was called out on being a shitty dad
That last one hit a personal note for me. Growing up, my dad was unemployed so it was up to my mom to provide for him and us 2 kids. Dad still gave himself an “allowance” to buy comics and legos though. 🙃
Pathetic father. Your mother should've gotten a divorce
I think rSlash missed a key piece of information in the last story: the husband was a stay-at-home dad. I've seen rSlash defend stay-at-home moms before, so why is it different if the stay-at-home parent is a dad? I think the husband was in the wrong for saying that they should stop buying baby formula and think he should compromise and reduce the number of subscriptions he has, but I do think he made a good point about the OP's makeup spending. OP didn't mention how much she spent on makeup per month. I understand and agree that makeup has become a necessary part of a woman's work attire, but even I can buy a year's worth of makeup for under $150 even though I'm forced to buy expensive stuff due to allergies severely limiting my options.
I think it would make the most sense for them both to agree on an amount of for-fun spending that they can both have per month after all expenses are covered and savings goals are met. They should each get the same amount of fun money because being a stay-at-home parent is just as much work as having a salaried job. Just think of how much OP is saving on childcare by having their husband taking care of the kids full time.
Tl;dr: The couple in the last story are both wrong and need to compromise. Also, being a stay-at-home parent is a full time job regardless of that parent's gender or sex.
Yes it’s not a tantrum by the husbands reaction you can CLEARLY tell that the make-up is WAYYYYYYYY more expensive then subscriptions so why don’t you put a limit on both of theirs I mean as you can tell the kids are very young so that’s a fuck ton of work to even keep them alive for ten minutes so why does she get to spend all the money while he can’t like tffffff
I want to agree with you, I do. However, if her makeup was that expensive I think she would have cut it down to afford feminine products. She said even that is hard for her to afford. I think they can cut done the husband's streaming service to at most two. Also she said he is unemployed. So it doesn't sound like they agreed that he be a stay at home dad but circumstances made it so. (Again just my opinion) I think they should sit down and plan their budget as a family. Make a plan where they can both raise other avenues for money while at the same time cutting down on non essentials.
THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, PLEASE DON'T BE TOO HARSH IN YOUR REPLY.
@@kadoradaniels8117 We only have one side of the story, so all we can really do is speculate based on the side we heard. It's not clear what their current arrangement is. It would change things if they didn't both agree on the current setup, but it's also not clear if they'd be able to afford childcare if the husband did find work. Monthly childcare costs are a lot more than $80. The average cost of providing center-based care for an infant in the U.S. is $1,230 per month. Add the cost of childcare for their toddler on top of that, and it's very likely that they would be in an even worse financial situation if the husband stopped providing all the childcare. There are a lot of families that end up in a situation where the lower earning partner needs to become the one in charge of childcare so they can manage childcare expenses.
Like I said in my initial post, I 100% agree that the husband is acting immature and entitled if he really said what he did about he streaming services being the priority over formula. Still, I understand why he's upset if the case is that he's working as a full-time stay-at-home parent out of financial necessity and is told by OP that he doesn't deserve any luxuries because being a stay-at-home parent isn't a real job. I think they should prioritize their expenses, but split their fun money if they're in a situation where one of them needs to be a stay-at-home parent.
OP came off as pretty defensive about her makeup spending to me and seemed to avoid giving a number for that amount, but it's totally possible that she didn't spend much--we just don't know since OP kept that vague. In the end, we both agree that they need to communicate and compromise and both need to reduce their for-fun spending to afford their essentials, so I think we agree about the solution given the information we have
Right? I am a stay at home parent, and I think both partners suck in this situation. Clearly they can both make sacrifices, but they will need to figure out how to communicate effectively instead of pointing fingers. I don’t think the wife has enough respect for her husband staying at home, and I think her husband is way out of touch for expecting formula to be the things they stop paying for.
I think he should be stripped of those services if hes prioritizing those over the babys food, you dont see the wife saying shes not gonna compromise, she actually sat him down, and the make up comments where to keep the services, NOT to make a compromise. If the delivery was done right i wouldve said esh but no
For that 2nd story:
I might be a guy, but I consider myself a feminist. I can't speak for everyone who identifies as such but I can say that my idea of feminism is to treat people as thinking individuals.
Thinking that woman are beyond being scolded for inappropriate behavior to the point where you refuse to call one out for predatory behavior is sexist.
It sexist to the guy because it strips away his ability to say no and it's sexist to the woman because it makes it seems likes she's so infantile that she has no control over her actions.
I hate fake feminist. It makes issues woman actually face much harder to talk about.
You're absolutely right. I see more women than I'd like targeting men while part of the message is that women are wives, mothers, sisters, friends, etc. What about the men in my life? I wouldn't want my father, brother, or husband to be harmed anymore than I would want my mother or friends to be.
@@Kindelwyrm2 exactly!
It's exactly that poster that I see around:
_Feminism is the radical idea of believing women are equal._
Equal means equal in EVERY circumstance.
(I'm female, consider myself a feminist.)
Fully agree. It's worth simply saying that it's not a women being women thing, it's a people being people thing. I believe strongly in bodily autonomy and wearing what makes you comfortable, but there's an obvious pattern and obvious motive. She's not exempt because she's a woman
@@cewla3348
Agreed. Same thing really.
Wow props to OP for believing her husband and not immediately accusing him of cheating with the SILs friend
kinda sad that you even consider that as some sort of achievement if op hadn't backed her husband then obviously they would have stopped at boyfriend and girlfriend
@@goku-sangreen4510 I say that because a lot of people. Women especially think that men can only be the harasser/assaulter and not the target/victim
@@tiredman99 It's true. A friend of mine was the target of sexual harassment and no one beileved he was the victim, the girl who harassed him tried to claim he was harassing her and the only reason the truth came out was because my friend told them there was no way he'd do that because he is GAY! She got caught in her lie and got in trouble, but not nearly as much as she should have been
@@NekoKuro-il8rz sorry that happened to your friend. And had the genders been reversed he easily would've gotten double if nope triple the punishment
@@tiredman99 No doubt! They were ready to call thw cops on him (he was 17 at the time!) And she was 19. Once the truth was revealed she was written up
Child support story: nta and that seems like OP went through with some malicious compliance. The ex said to file, OP did, and then the ex ends up with a surprised pikachu face. I see nothing wrong with that
My immediate thought. “Welcome to rSlash Malicious Compliance”
Lol. That happened to my mom and me. She was living rent free (because my dad paid the mortgage on the house) collecting child support while not working and wouldn't give me a dime for college (I lived on campus so its not like she was paying for my food and room) so she told me to go complain to my dad if I needed money for college. I did. He took her to court and told the judge he would gladly pay my tuition since I lived on campus and my room and board instead of child support to my mom. The judge agreed. She was pissed but I was happy.
@@littlesongbird1 That sounds like a reddit story I read awhile ago.
@@xNETxEx My thoughts exactly I mean he asked for it.
I’m a sibling to my autistic sibling. The first one hit real close to home because A LOT of the times (and this is not just me) the parents will sacrifice the neurotypical child’s needs for the neurodivergent one and expect them to understand. And when they rightfully so are upset about it, the parents take out the stress from caring for their autistic child onto the other. It’s really messed up. If there are any parents of both neurotypical and neurodivergent children reading this, please don’t forget about your other kids. They get hurt by being treated like that and believe their needs don’t matter.
My family went to an amusement park and the whole lot of us simultaneously flipped off the rollercoaster's camera on our way passed it. There was a TV that showed all the photos taken during the ride and we got a good laugh when the TV showed our photo. Of course, we went to buy our photo, but when we did, the person selling the photos actually told us off for it and refused to sell us the photo because it was apparently against policy.
It's sad but the first story is a classic case of adultification and entitlement. Adultification is when parents force their kid/s into adult roles and responsibilities such as (but not limited to) paying rent, raising the younger kids and not being allowed "childish" things like birthdays. This is especially common in families with one disabled child and one abled child.
1st story... i would, as the 16 year old, go to my guidance counselor and tell them about the theft, or even be as petty as to call the police on them to get it back.
It's not petty. It's all the money she had in the world, and it's not the first time her mother searched her room and stole from her. Absolutely report the thieving narcissists to the police.
First story: OP needs to bail out at 18. Fuck those thieves
Second story:Glad he came forward before she lied about him doing stuff to her without her consent.
Third story: The guy selling photos needs to be more professional
Last story:
To me, everyone sucks here.
She doesn't want to budge on wearing makeup, and he doesn't want to budge on letting go on some of his streaming services.
Where I think the hubby went out of line is when he asked the wife to let go of formula and breastfeed.
That isn't a right to have netflix, that is a comfort.
I do believe, however, that they could have met each other half way.
I understand that makeup is part of her personality, but some of those kits, specifically brand ones, are super expensive.
I also understand that it can be frustrating to be the sole breadwinner in a family but, it also feels like he has the right to feel upset when he is the stay at home parent and maybe doesn't feel valued when it is only him who has to compromise, while the wife doesn't.
Overall, I think it is a 50/50 blame shifting back and forth here, that escalated to a callous argument because they don't really work as a couple, but as separate people who happened to be in a relationship.
yep. I thought she was going to mention she buys cheap makeup or something but nope, it's just "part of her personality" lol. if money is that tight, she should cut back too. he was way out line to suggest cutting the formula though, he should've stuck with the makeup argument
well it's from her perspective, so you need to consider that too.
She briefly mentions that he's a stay at home dad.
Imagine if a working dad would want to cut of his "stay at home mom" wife's streaming services because "lack of money" while he's spending lots of money on going to sport matches because it's "part of his identity" BS
being a stay at home parent is a job too, and if he does that right, she shouldn't be like "I'm the money maker" in fact that's abuse, he should consider divorcing her and getting alimony :)
@@NaliTikva I did take both perspectives into account because I am an outsider.
I don't live with those folks.
Yes, I agree that parenting is work (good or bad, I can't judge since no info) but my point stands.
Concessions on either sides would probably make it less of an attack and more of a team working together.
Thanks for your opinion, but I am disagreeing with you that, while it is, like you said, from her perspective, it isn't about who gets what but also to set an example for the kids that they can work together.
😊
@@JoyZoneYT thanks for your polite reply, sorry if I was a bit rude.
The setting an example for the kids is a good point i didn't consider.
this is exactly what i wanted to say. it disappointed me that rslash didnt even acknowledge that op was also refusing to make any sort of sacrifice.
the husband isnt even entirely wrong. being a stay at home dad is a lot of work, and having the streaming services is a good way to de-stress. however, he does not need all of them.
and i guarantee you, op does NOT need all of the make up she buys. on top of that, even cheap make up probably costs about as much if not more in monthly upkeep
the husband went too far with what he said, but he was justified in his anger at leasg
5th story: I'd say ESH for the same reason she stated to him: money is tight and they have 2 kids to worry about. If you're counter argument is "you know it's part of my personality!" then maybe they should both revise their budgeting and spending habits.
Military kid here. With a dad who was medically discharged. The VA(Veterans Affairs) will give him money to give to OP. Definitely not the ahole. OP should contact the VA as well, the state will tell him to pay but the VA should make sure he does.
(Unless rules have changed)
Disability money can't be touched.
I can understand borrowing money when times were tough. My single mother had to borrow from her children to make ends meet sometimes, but she always asked us and she always paid us back. What OP's parents did wasn't borrowing, it was stealing plain and simple. Its also "great" how they got mad at her and had a convenient excuse to not pay her back whe she got understandably angry at them.
Why are they looking around your room for money anyway? That sounds more like junkies to me, though I guess its technically for a more nobler purpose than drugs. Still isn't right what they did though.
Idk maybe they DID blow it on something else. $120 for shoes is kinda ridiculous when money is supposedly tight
They diffidently didn't spend it all on shoes, what type of fancy shoes are 120$?!
@@Enya_artistThere are shoes that cost that much, believe it or not.
Story 1 - call the police. It's theft, pure and simple.
The problem is, whether the police do anything about it or not, OP still has to live with their family until they are able to move out. It’s better if OP continues to save their money and make plans to move out asap. Since the parents clearly have no problem stealing from her, it might be better for her to buy a lockbox or just keep the money elsewhere.
@@songbird-wj4yj exactly. If she has a school locker, she may be able to keep it there as long as she tells NO ONE!
IKR? The dad's(if you can even call him one) logic is absolute BS. OP is the spoiled brat for calling YOU out?! I...I'm just speechless over his foul logic! The mom(if you can call her one) isn't getting a free pass either, because she was the one who took the money, and agreeing with entitled dad's logic, so f*ck her too.
@@dizzysdoings I hope a bank is an option, that was how I kept my money safe when I was a teen with a paper route. OP sounded like she had a lot of initiative to even get that money in the first place, so I am guessing the extra travel would not be problematic.
@@songbird-wj4yj The police won't do shit. but calling the police could set a precedent on how far the kid is willing to go to protect her assets. Not sure if it's the best approach but that approach have some merits.
1st story makes me so mad!! Parents stealing from their own children is evil! She called them out for bring thieves, and they got indignant. OP is being abused. Move out as soon as you are an adult.
2nd story: SIL's friend is out of line and need to be kicked out. No means no!!
I really hope there's a update on the 1st story bc I feel so bad for OP. Im very worried
OP, please get out of that situation. Your parents are not only thieves, you had every right to call them out on their behavior. Put any money you make in a savings account, and set the password to only one that you know. That was your money that you were saving.
This is not only abuse, this is considered financial abuse, too.
Go no contact when you move out . It's the only way to have peace in your life.
I dont think legally shes protected with a savings account, especially if shes in a low-income family/neighborhood. Where, at the least it isnt practical even if legal.
Personally just never hide anything in the one place mankind has been notoriously known for since the dawn of time that its in every single comic, movie, joke regarding hiding things.
OP is a minor. That means even a saving account needs her parents to be on it.
@@matthew9326 i remember all the epic and unfortunate reddit stories about people that grew up not knowing they were already tens of thousands or hundreds in debt because of this situation.
Op should find a better hiding spot for their money. If the mom always finds it under the bed. Get creative. Hide it in a vent or make a secret compartment in the sock drawer.
@@luna_theraider door hinges that have a false wood thing underneath make for good slicks
Story one: have a trustworthy friend or friends parent keep any savings so that her parents can’t take the money. Move out as soon as you turn 18. You have no relationship, you have parasites for parents.
Parent thieves: NtA op should move out ASAP
Reviling clothes: NtA sister is probably getting lied to and needs to understand that op and her husband get to choose who can be in their home
Child support: NtA it's not a great situation but he played a stupid game and won a price he didn't like
Lazy husband: NtA I understood at 15 if I wanted random expensive stuff I had to pay for it
You missed the point of the last post
He is a stay at home dad
And she said markup was her person
That first story hit hard, When shes able, she should walk away and never look back! You cant choose your family however you can choose your friends. Good luck OP.
That first story really pisses me off and I'm glad OP is only two years away from never having to deal with those people again. It's too bad you need your parents permission to be emancipated or I'd suggest she take that route. Those people are awful and I hoe they realize it's their own fault she's eventually going to cut them out of her life and never look back.
There is government program for low income people with autistic children. And the first one. It should been the case. And not take from take from their 16 year old child to paid for the 14 old autistic child.
Do you know the name of the program? I just received my autism and ADHD diagnosis and I'm taking my son in soon to get his autism diagnosis (it's been a long time coming but I finally found a good psychiatrist).
you can bet on it they are gonna expect op to look after her sister when they are too old to care for her or sick of caring for her.
@@velvety2006 There program for that. Where she lives in apartment siting.
@@ardhanarisvara333 it SSI. For children under 18. It only given when it hard for family take care of them due to money.
@@karlaboerger3619 Sometimes apartments, sometimes a shared house with other disabled roomies and on-site staff 24/7. People should have the right to live as independently as possible.
story 1: jesus i am autistic and this is not how to raise an autistic person you have to teach them you cant have everything in your life if i was OP i will go to the police
Fellow autistic here, and I agree with this sentiment. I’m tired of seeing these Reddit stories of autistic people not being treated or raised properly.
Hello fellow autists! Fully agree, you need taught responsibility, structure, consequences, you can’t go your entire life being coddled because you won’t be set up for living your own independent life (if you can, that is). Fed up seeing autistic kids not being raised properly and being used to win arguments/to look like amazing parents. We’re people, not props.
Absolutely! The parents are setting up their daughter for failure.
What the parents did was perfectly legal. It doesnt count as abuse, and as a minor (OP is turning 16) the minors possessions are legally her parents.
Does it suck...YES. Is it illegal? No.
*That’s not how you raise ANY kid, period… not just autistic ones.*
For the first story
Imagine calling your almost 16 child a spoiled brat but your daughter was gonna throw a tantrum, they got the shoes she wanted using said 16 Year old's money
If anything that shows that who the favorite is
I am the autistic brother of my family, yet was treated the opposite than the story in the video.
My brother always got whatever he wanted and fancy birthdays at McDonald's, I asked why my birthdays weren't fancy and was told it was because I had no friends and it would be a waste.
First Story: NTA
Dad: Your way out of line...
Also Dad and the Mom: Bought some sneakers for her sister from her own money, forgot her birthday and grounded her.
-Wheres the logic there, she's still a minor and she save her own money its not theirs-
Honestly I think the dad is probably overreacting so he has an "excuse" to never pay OP back
To be fair, I was raised in "this isn't your house. I pay the bills so it's mine. I can get rid of anything you have, even if you bought it (my dad's done it). If it's in my house, it's mine, not yours." And, now, if I have kids, I wouldn't be like that. But maybe that's the way the parents saw the money. Sad but true.
@@lillylovegood2300 almost all these scenarios, why don't people just call the cops? Weord to me, I would just call if I was in OPs shoes. Parents lie about the money? Show proof of being paid and friends testimonies. Better yet, the call logs.
@@lillylovegood2300 You should have record it, and one day when you earn more than they do, you should just treated them back as they treated you. Fair is fair
@@c001Ba30nDuD ehhhhh it's hard when you have a dad like mine who got out of jail and then blamed you for everything because "who the fuck puts their own dad in jail for losing his cool and doing unspeakable shit" so my entire family hates me over his dumbass choices.
I don't have a family that's healthy at all
First story: family sounds like they want a daughter who goes no-contact at 18.
Edit to add:
For the stay at home dad story:
1. offering to let him keep 1 streaming service is incredibly generous, if it's a choice between a luxury, and the kids... then that's not a choice.
2. That *does* go both ways however. If you're in a position to have to choose between the kids and a luxury, the kids need to come first, and makeup *is* a luxury; not a personality trait.
Buying and wearing makeup should go on the back burner, until after everything else is taken care of.
1st order priorities: Rent/Utilities/Food
2nd order priorities: hygine/kids needs not covered by food
3rd order priorities: savings/anything else that you absolutely need to keep your household running.
After all of that is sorted, then you can worry about makeup.
Oh, and the manchild can sort his own shit out after he has a job, and contributes to the above needs.
they can have an agreement about one of them beeing a stay at home parent
@@thiago97klein maybe, but;
1. OP did not state that was the case.
2. Even if they do, it doesn't change my point, or make his reaction any less shit.
3. OP's comment about her husband being able to get channels back when he gets a job and can pay for them, indicates that they do *not* have an arangement for this.
@@RevokFarthis well we never know when people lie on reddit, rslash have posted the same story from 2 perspectives that were completly different. imo they are both spoiled adults
honestly both parents sound as bad as each other, but at least with netflix the kids can have something to watch but like why the hell would you put make up over your hygiene products? And if she's that worried about her appearance it kinda gets me thinking how much stuff does she buy that goes into making herself look presentable and how expensive it all is?
Both parents sound super crappy and the mother especially sounds so artificial, it wouldn't surprise me if there's more to this story she isn't bringing up...
@@Luminoxie thats what i think, imagine if we reverse the roles, it was the guy saying that he "needs" to buy games bc hes so stressed people would be chewing him in the comments
The first story op is old enough to get a bank account. Get one have your card on you at all times and refuse to tell them the passpin. Heck don’t even tell them you got a card.
shes a minor she can't have a bank account without a parent co-signing, which gives them just as much access to the account.
@@silverstar1178 you right but they can with someone over the age of 18 that they trust maybe a teacher would be willing to help them.
She's 16 in most places you need an adult on the account with you. That is how my mom stole my momney
Usually, if you are a minor, you need a parent or guardian to co-sign to get a bank account, and since she is living with her parents still, they would need to be the one to co-sign. She wouldn't be able to just go to any adult and have them co-sign.
@@AzureKyle That is true where I live. I would suggest OP find a trusted friend or relative and have them hold the money for her.
Wow that deadbeat dad really threw a fit over cancelling subscriptions he doesn't even pay for. If he spent as much time watching the kids as he claims he wouldn't have the time to even be watching all the shows on each service. It's obvious his priorities are to himself and not his family
He's not deadbeat. He takes care of the children. Were you even listening?
@@ReptillianStrike kind of think is a bit of a deadbeat. He's putting his wants before his child's needs. His wife has already cut back. It's not spending money on hygiene products. All she's asking him to do is cut back on the streaming service. Not go without no streaming service. Plus the story takes place in Canada and Canada has $10 a day daycare. And the simple fact that there are struggling to pay for hygiene product makes me think they don't make over the cap to be eligible for this program.
@@LLandS18
I agree that he's in the wrong for not compromising.
I didn't know about the childcare program. If that's the case, yeah I can see why people would think that. Still don't think he's a deadbeat, but there's no reason why he can't find a job.
13:00 this story reminds me of my dad. My step mom (stay-at-home mom to my little sister at the time) wanted $30 for new, good rain boots since her old ones were literally held together with duct tape. My dad has horses and during the day, my step mom is the one out in the fields shoveling muck and shit, cleaning the horses off, feeding them and giving them love. She needs the boots to take care of them, and not get horse shit in her boots...
So naturally my dad says "no, that's a waste of money," and instead goes and buys himself $500 worth of new hunting gear... nearly identical to the hunting gear he had in the basement.
So my step mom said fuck that and when out and bought $60 rain boots; really nice ones with insulation for the cold months. Dad was fuming and threw a fit about it, like the absolute toddler he is.
I’m glad your stepmom did that! 👍 Good for her!
The first OP could call the police and the police would deal with the situation. Theft is theft, it doesn't matter if you're a child and your parents are the thieves, trust me, I had to call the police on my abusive narcissistic Mother for stealing from me and it was dealt with. Please do something about it and see if you can get out, escape that situation ASAP. It will only get worse from now, please protect yourself.
The first story makes my blood boli
@@janfgfdx5165 Same here. I went through hell with my mother and seeing stories of people suffering similar or the same breaks my heart and angers me to beyond mortal levels. It's horrific so many parents are just flat out cruel.
The two food groups of this subreddit:
Am I the a hole for calling a baby cute?
am I the a hole for committing several acts of murder?
There are a couple of subreddits called AmItheAngel and AmItheDevil that makes fun of this trend.
S1: Hard YTA!! You have NO RIGHT harassing a baby by calling it "cute" and putting all these unfair pressures on it. Plus, you're being totally judgmental as to YOUR definitions of what's "cute" and what's not. YTA! YTA! YTA!
S2: NTA. No one seems to understand the pressures some people are under, and after being pushed to the brink, who WOULDN'T lash out. Besides, those people had it coming, because they called babies "cute".
@@joeschmo622 perfection
More like:
1. AITA for saving a baby's life from a lion?
2. AITA for kicking my sister's dog and called her a spoiled brat when she got mad?
@@dracko158 1; YTA, lions have to eat too, you know!
Can you imagine going to an amusement park and having someone tell you “Grow up, you’re immature.” Shut up I’m trying to be amused by your park
But they were being immature in a bad way
I think a good retort is 'well seems to me you never grew up either after all you still work here?
@@velvety2006 trying to make fun of someone's job is a 'good' retort? I don't think so, that's a butthole move. And flipping off the camera is immature, worker should have kept that comment to himself, but it doesn't make change it.
@@leg369 and that family should have told them they just wanted to go with family instead of expecting op to out of his way to stay out of their picture. make stupid demands, you get stupid reactions. besides with the way those cameras are positioned it probably wouldn't have helped anyway, you just see someone bending over in the picture.
I can really relate to the second story. My mother always stole my birthday money and used it to buy herself things. I really feel for OP it's messed up what they are doing and I would suggest that she opens up a bank account and not tell her parents
1:57 when he said he isn’t gonna take your garbage anymore
You should’ve said thanks for no more stealing
That first story is one where I WISH op had contacted their relatives and escaped from their family
RIGHT!?😡
Keep in mind not everyone really has relatives or any family outside of their home… I know I don’t. Shit all I even have in my home is my mom, that’s it, that’s all I have left, life’s unfair.
@@MsNoPixel amd some.peopel would prefer your life over their huge toxic families life's unfair
“It’s not her fault your husband is attracted to her” uhhh NO!! He’s clearly not the one attracted to the other I feel so bad for the husband.
Open in the first story has two more years and then she’s going to leave and go no contact permanently.
That's a good idea.
@Squid Game 2.0 in my channel shut up bot.
Fun fact depending on what state op is in you can move out and live with other relatives or with another family at 16. I know because my step sister did it.
Now this can work in any state if the parents don't take legal action to get OP back. However since op has proof of mental and verbal abuse, financial abuse (as some one else pointed out. IDK if thats the proper term though), and if op can support the claim that their sister isn't being taught healthy coping mechanisms and other behavioral therapies for her autism, if their sister is low functioning enough to depend on their parents, she can get them in trouble for that too since they aren't taking the proper steps as carers to ensure what is best for their ward.
I be thinking if ops parents were to ask if she remembers their birthday, she'll have to pretend to forget, so that they don't get a DAMN THING. Especially money
Yeah, steal your daughter's money and call her a spoiled brat for saying the truth, and then act shocked when she moved outs.
If that actually happens, the parents brought it on themselves.
Story 1: I am a fourteen year old autistic girl, and I don't act like a literal toddler. I think she has more going on than autism.
Last story- OP and husband need to come up with a compromise, because yeah, makeup can be really expensive.
yeah and she can get cheaper makeup or no makeup because if things are that tight then you can sacrifice both subscription services and makeup to ensure that bills can be handled
First story: Agree 100%
But she should reconsider her friends if they would laugh at her for the abuse. Good friends would see the abuse for what it was and would be supportive.
Her friends are presumably her age and not necessarily well versed in what is abuse and not, especially since many adults can't even tell what is abuse. I agree that it would be best if her friends were supportive, but they might just not understand it well enough, and that's not their fault.
@@ShiftySqvirrel 16 is old enough to understand abuse, they’re just shity friends
She's only 16, so her choice in mature friends is limited. Many kids at that age are shallow and unkind.
@@ShiftySqvirrel I sat here for 30 minutes trying to figure out how to say this with out sounding confrontational, or accusatory. But I'm having trouble with wording today. Please try to tread this in a conversational and adult tone. Sorry.
By the age of 16 I, an autistic kid with the maturity of a 9 year old, was fully aware of right and wrong. So being told, " I have to postpone my birthday cause my parents stole my birthday money" would definitely raise red flags.
Any 16 year old should have at least that level of understanding or situational awareness. If someone does not have it, then they are going to be in for a rude awakening, Even if they were raise too sheltered to understand this as abuse.
@@KakeraWolf You're not wrong, as a fellow autist, even when less mature that my age would indicate I too understood this. But the unfortunate truth is that now everyone does, though I suspect my experiences are colouring my perspective here, as I was bullied by kids my age until the age of 16, and they didn't seem to understand how it was wrong. To them it was just fun.
first story : yeah I would've called the cops on them. Parents or not, they literally stole from you and they dare being mad at you for being mad at them? I hope OP has other family members she can live with and get out of that toxic household.
I have a narcissistic abusive mother and a golden child younger sister. I haven't spoken to either in a long time. My mother favoured my sister, and they both bullied me. My mother's abuse and gaslighting was so bad that I got diagnosed with *PSYCHOSIS* at 16!
Showing one of your kids favouritism is borderline fcking evil.
Bruh, my ex was diagnosed with psychosis and PTSD at 16.
And knowing his past makes me feel terrible for others who had to endure anything that formed it. Shit is so terrible. And I hope you're growing and have healed from the abuse. ❤️ Keep your head up. 💚
@@lillylovegood2300 the one person I've know that went through the most shit before even being an adult is my ex also. It's tough to be in love with someone who went through so much, I think you know what I mean by that. I still believe she derserves the world and is a wonderful, talented and unique being. I'm over her, but I'm also very thankful for the relationship we had and the life lessons I learned in that time.
Much love to you and your ex, I wish you the best 💜
@@soulgazer11 to be fair, I'm not the most stable with my own mental wellness. But I do get what your saying. And I wish only the best for you guys.
I'm not over him, even though it's been a month. But I know he's moved on, and I'd like to hope he's happier.
I didn’t know I needed rSlash saying “daddy” like an entitled teen, but I did.
I hope that one girl gets the chance to get out of that house and away from her thieving parents that obviously care nothing about her.
Second story: that is straight up sexual harassment. The husband should get some male friend over that constantly exposes himself and flirts with his sister and see how long it takes for her to get uncomfortable.
That’s definitely not how to handle that
@@My4InnerPeople agree
@@My4InnerPeople yeah obviously don't actually do that. Im just pointing out some weird gendered double standard here.
If the harassing friend was male and harassing the wife there would not be a single person in this story unclear as to who is the butthole here.
Friend would be out of the door as soon as he tried to claim his balls needed some air.
r/slash forgot about the update, SIL still on her friends side.
👏thank you👏
I'll bet anything that, the moment OP decides to moves out, those parents will guilt-trip the f- out of her, begging her to stay so they can keep leeching off her money for the little sister...
4/5 is too good for them. Any parent who shows favoritism deserves 5/5 in my opinion.
and when they are to old/sick of caring for her they will try to guilt op in taking her in.
Especially the theft. That's ground for going no-contact as soon as the daughter can.
The rollercoaster story made me laugh so hard, why are those parents using a rollercoaster camera for "a nice family photo"? What did they expect on a public place??
My thoughts exactly.
not just that why did they let op get on with them anyway if they were planning that lol
@@velvety2006 they don’t get to control who gets on a ride with them
Not to mention many amusement parks have photo opportunities-including at the entrance to the park.
Thank you for caring so much about people in abusive situations; a few years back I could’ve used someone pointing me towards resources like you regularly do in your videos
First story: I would call CPS. OP do you have a family member you can tell, a teacher or someone? Otherwise, work hard get a good scholarship, move out of State and go no contact with your parents. They deserve no less
First story: Simple as it is, it was theft.
It was HER money that she earned HERSELF. She didn't get the money from her parents, so they don't get to take it. And when she called them out for that, they don't take any responsibility but instead get mad at her for being upset. She called them what they are, and the father not only didn't care, but just yelled at her. I also go woth child abuse here
I'm the autistic sister in my family and unfortunately it was my stuff and my money that was stolen over and over and over again. Eventually I ended up in the foster care system because "I'm such hard work and an awful human being" according to my narcissistic mother :-/ I know exactly how the op in the 1st story feels :(
I would simply wait until everyone went out and just straight up take my money back, bury it in the park somewhere and then act like I don’t know what they mean when they DO notice it’s gone. “If they wanna play stupid games, give them stupid prizes.”
Or better yet, wait until they leave, take find your money and run.
It's already gone. They spent it on shoes.
@@mariposa9506 Then she should rifle through their belongings, taking any cash she can find and bury it like the guy above said. And tell them that someone broke into the house and stole money.
In the first story, OP should file a theft report with the local PD and sue them in small claims court. It doesn’t matter how small the amount, theft over $20 still warrants a report and small claims suit. Also file for emancipation, call CPS.
Story 1: NTA, at all.
I fondly remember my 16th birthday, moreso than any other. My parents were divorced, and mom and my siblings and I had just moved. I was upset about not seeing my friends anymore, and even more upset when I found out I'd be spending it with the parent who completely didn't want anything to do with me. Also worth noting, five weeks prior, I had been attacked by a rabid coyote and I was still sore from Rabies shots.
But I was blown away.
Dad did something incredible. For once, he asked me what I wanted for dinner. The man made a mean homemade pizza, and I immediately went for that. He agreed. He let me invite my friends. This was twelve years ago and the last time I ever got to see most of them. I got a proper goodbye. I think he even homemade the cake (a tradition), though I don't remember what he did for it. (My favorite was when I was eight or nine, and he did a really cool turtle!!) We all hung out at the house, shortly before it was sold, and we had... fun. It was the only party I ever had at home with my friends after age 8 and it was truly incredible. I legitimately am glad he put aside his dislike to make that day magical. I'm still grateful for it.
The only regrets I have were that mom and my beloved chow chow (RIP, we lost her this year) were not there with me.
The last story is kind of concerning. Sounds like the husband is depressed and is using the online streaming services as a crutch. Think the wife and husband need to sit down to talk about their relationship but more importantly what they are feeling. My wife went through something similar when she became a stay at home mother. Until the root of the problem is addressed and worked on, things will not improve in that household.
Right? Look both of them can compromise. He can keep 2 or maybe 3 if they are cheaper, streaming services, she can buy a little less makeup/cheaper (provided the cheaper stuff is not a skin irritant) Raising children together is a co-op event not competitive even if you are p[laying different roles. Finances affect you all when you live together. Both of them are being too stubborn. Money is short? I cancel game subscriptions, she buys less yarn, we work it out together by both making little sacrifices. You know like a healthy communicating couple?
Edit: Also I think R/slash is way too hard on the guy. He does work for those channels. By raising the kids while she is working (provided he does that reasonably well) should entitle him to SOME of the money she makes. Kinda unfair to expect anyone to raise children for nothing but a roof over there head and food.
@@TheWeaponshold yea it sounds like she is treating him solely as something to watch the child while she works, if this story were reversed I can guarantee that r/slash would givin the dude 5/5 and the mom 0/5 cuz being a mother is a full time job, but when a guy is doing it it’s just parental duty.
Last story:
We need clarification, is he "unemployed" or a "stay at home parent"? If he's not working because it's more cost effective to stay home than hire child care services, that would be a significant contribution to the household finances, and he should have a little spending money, just as a stay at home mom should have. If he simply can't get a job or doesn't want to, and childcare would be affordable, then he's just being lazy. Just do the math.
A child care service usually costs about $15/hr. If needed while mom is at work for 8 hours a day, they would be paying $600 a week for that service. So if the husband is providing these services in lieu hiring a service, that sounds like a good base wage he should be expecting from his wife for the services rendered. But they're his kids too, he's on the hook for half the cost of paying himself, so his compensation is now $300 a week. Then he has to pay his half of the bills, rent/mortgage, groceries, taxes, utilities, insurance (health, home, auto etc) and expenses associated with the kids. After he's paid his half, whatever if left over is his discretionary money. If he's frugal, he might have an extra $50 at the end of the week, more than enough for his streaming services, or more likely he can't even cover his half of the expenses, in which case, if he can earn more than 15/hr after taxes, he should get a job and hire a childcare professional or use a daycare service.
And don't fall for the "it's the economy" crap, there are tens of thousands of good paying work-from home jobs post-covid that enable him to work for a company that's located anywhere in the world. He could make a respectable income and be home with the kids if he wanted to. If both husband and wife are content with his stay-at-home status, he should be tending to the kids, the cooking, cleaning etc. No TV during the day, that's his work time.
And for fuck sake, if he can't afford a streaming service, that's what BitTorrent is for, lol. Or share accounts. He gets one account, his friend gets another and they swap logins. He can set up a VPN so it looks like they're all originating from the same IP address. This isn't rocket science, and he certainly has time and incentive to figure it out.
He could also get a part time job in the evening when she's home. I've heard of plenty of families who do something like that.
My family looks at it like this: you wouldn't expect a babysitter to clean and do chores beyond their means. Stay at home parents should have these same standards and just do what you expect a babysitter to do. If that means tv time, cool. But I don't think it is fair to say he gets no tv all day and has to cook/clean/do chores while keeping 2 babies taken care of. Maybe when they are older, or maybe napping. From the sound of it, I don't think he gets any spending money for himself. It also comes off as streaming services are his only entertainment. I think if hobbies need to be cut to save money, maybe cut half streaming services but also cut half of makeup spending. Apparently she is buying it regularly enough for him to say something and her to get very upset about it. It should be a 50/50 for saving, his hobby in half, hers in half. Fairness all around.
The lady honestly seems a little entitled to me. If he is truly a stay at home dad and takes care of two kids and cooks and cleans and it only costs her 80 to 100 a month, she should be happy to get off that light. Her reaction to the makeup things says it all.
@@Oberkaptain EXACTLY my thoughts!
@@Oberkaptain we don't know how much she spends on makeup. You can buy it in Dollar Tree. And, depending on her job, it may not be a luxury. A woman is supposed to have a certain "look" in some jobs.
Last Story:
I wonder if the judgement would be different if it would be a stay-at-home mom.
Honestly the point is, that they just can't afford to have one parent staying at home. So untill the guy gets a job they all need to cut short all unnecessary things.
The husband in 2nd story was probably also terrified of being accused of "being attracted" to the friend and even of cheating on his wife because of the "friend's" (sorry a friend doesn't pull that crap) actions. I'm glad he felt like he could tell his wife and they have a solid relationship there.
Parents in the 3rd story were just too cheap to get a real family portrait, and OP had every right to pose however they wanted in a picture they were in, I'd have told them to pay me to give them the photo that would have otherwise probably cost them $100 plus.
Story 1: OP as soon as Dad said "I'll pay you back next month" should've responded with "You have till friday then I get the cops involved. Do NOT test me."
Yeah OP in story 1. Record your parents and call CPS. And post the recording online.
There was an AITA story where the redditor did exactly that. End result: extended family cut off financial support to the parents an op moved in with their grandparents.
@@andredunbar3773 I think I remember that story! Wasn't op like a, "Donor child?" Where the parents used op to take care of her sister, and the parents took money from relatives that was supposed to pay for a professional to take care of the sister?
@@L4xu0rii_PNG That's a similar story. That OP didn't record their parents playing favorites, but did say that they hated their disabled sibling. Fortunately,they realized that what they hated was how their parents treated them. That story was titled "AITA for saying I hate my sibling?" or something similar. I believe the one I was originally referring to was titled "AITA for recording proof of my parents' favoritism?"
@@andredunbar3773 Ahhhh okay, thanks for clarification
@@L4xu0rii_PNG No prob. These stories about favoritism can really blend together. Like a depressing slurry out of a septic tank