The Most Difficult Conversation We’ve Had with Ourselves: ‘Why Do Some People Not Like Me?’
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- Опубликовано: 28 ноя 2021
- Many times, we may have to take inventory in order to figure out what it is about ourselves that causes others to react a certain way. In an emotional reveal, we open up about the toughest conversations we’ve had to have with ourselves.
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"I like you Loni" I feel like that's what Tamera would've said❤️
Lol yep with that little arm motion.
I miss her 😭
Facts
I heard her voice when I read this comment 😍
Agreed. :)) 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
I love Loni honesty and sensitivity!! Who cares if they don't like you... You ARE who God created you to be love!
That’s right 💯
Loni, you are a beautiful person--don't ever let the haters get you down.
My eyes got teary I relate so much🥲
But she did bring a lot of it on herself. You can't be an ass to people an expect them to like you.
@@MH-vw9ni I hear you. I empathize because we could all see ourselves in her as well. Where we may feel like why doesn't this person like me ??? I guess my stance is "we ARE who we are... The good, bad and ugly" and we should stand in that and not care what anyone thinks of us. At the end of the day we're all a work in progress. Some ppl may Like us for whatever reason and vice versa..
“You could be 110 pounds , you could be light skin with long hair.” These are Loni’s biggest insecurities. I’m so sorry that fat phobia and colorism has affected you so badly, Loni.
Agreed. Our society needs help.
Agreed 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯:(((
@@lubnan08 I agree. We need to encourage men, women, and children to put down the fork and go outside to exercise. Humans are not meant to be fat or morbidly obese.
Don’t agree she was just given a common example did y’all hear her she’s OK with herself and love her self…
@@bombasticnonsense4247 agreed. Our bodies can't handle it and we have to make an effort to be in our best health.
Adrienne has grown to be such a compassionate communicator. ♥️
She really has.
Yes ❤
Lonnie, sometime the reason why people don’t like you…….. has nothing to do with you……and everything to do with how they feel about themselves. You remind them of what they are not.
FACTS 👏🏾👏🏾
💯 FACTS !!
Woow this is deep
Agree, it has nothing to do with you but them!!!!
This ☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾
I'm proud of who I am with autism and I won't let negative people get the best of me because I'm more positive everyday!!!! Thank you Loni
You are God's creation.
@@brooklyn0992 thank you so much
@@KK-rh7wt I agree
❤️❤️❤️
I want my son to gain this confidence
I used to ask why don’t people like me I’ve always been the introverted friend in my group and all my friends were out going and everyone liked them and people just hated me for no reason. It used to hurt my feelings because I’m so nice but as I got older I learned to not break my back trying to be a people pleaser and I’ve been happy ever since
People just suck in general.
Similar for me. Y phone just won’t ring? I extend myself, I call, wish people happy birthday. And I realize in the last couple mths, they don’t call me. None. Except my neighbor where we just bought our house, I’m building trying to build a relationship with her while being myself. I don’t want to be around anyone I can’t be myself with, or I don’t want to put in the work with someone I can’t be myself with. Of course it’s hurtful but I am not going to change who I am. I’m not overweight, I don’t know Loni & Antasia people are just idk 🤷🏾♀️.
Definitely! I feel the same way.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Same!! I suffer from trying to be a people pleaser too, and I’ll always remember my therapist told me “you could be the juiciest, most delicious, most beautiful orange in the world, and there will still be someone who doesn’t like oranges.” Another thing she said that has really stuck with me is “what other people think of you is none of your business” because I used to stress out A LOT over the idea of people judging me.
The best advice I've ever heard was this "if you live your life trying to please everyone else you will lose your identity." That was so profound for me!
Yep!!!
Loni...my Pastor says, if everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong. YOU DON'T WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE YOU!
AMEN TO THAT, Jesus said that if the world didn't like him then they won't like you (if you are a Christ follower)🙌🔥🔥
@@penielgirma6164 Amen!
Truth
Amen! We were not put on this earth for people to like us but to serve in our purpose and to worship God.
PERIODTTT 💯
One of my hardest conversations I had to have was "why am I always the friend that calls and texts people but no one ever checks up on me?" Made me realize things had to change and I should stop putting more effort into people than they put into me.
This! I stepped away from everyone and it took almost a month for people to notice. I go hard for anyone that comes into my life and no one ever does the same for me. It's so hard to understand that for me. I'm with Loni here. 😥
@@jerrihandy256 shoot I stepped away and they still don’t call me lol
Omg this is what i am going through and i said to myself to stop it
@@LisaLisaCJ That's just them showing their true colors 🙁 I'm only investing time into people that value me from now on
@@jerrihandy256 when I tell you this pandemic year has been the most quiet and eye opening experience……
Hearing Loni cry like that hurt me. She's a beautiful woman inside and out.
Loni, for every person that doesn't like you, there are hundreds of us who LOVE you.
So true, I love me some Loni!
The most unliked people usually end up being most successful because the ones that don’t like you, see in you, what you yourself don’t see. Stop conforming and keep standing out the way God intended.
Powerful!
AMEN 🙏🏾 Jesus was hated first
Amen Amen and Amen
Well said.
So so true
When Loni said “ why do people not like me?” I teared up when Loni teared up. I have been trying so hard in my life to push through and make myself likeable and loveable by everyone and when people didn’t like me, i took it personally because i wanted people to like me. But then as i grew older i realized that it’s okay if not everyone liked you. It’s okay that not everyone loves you. As long as you know you’re doing something right in your life and you stick to it, and you love yourself, its all that matters. I love you Loni. I like you, i love you, inside and out! I have been a fan to this show for 8 years, and i have loved you since season one! You are amazing Loni, and believe me you, there are so many other people that love you too Loni. I love youuu xx
I felt that so deeply and intensely
Well Fared! You are loved and never let anyone take that away from you. I have been struggling with the same question that Loni posed. But as I get older, I realized…as long as I love me then that’s all that matters.
❤️❤️🫂
Such a lovely message! 💙 Yes, been there done that..I’ve learned that no matter what you do..some people choose not to like you and yes that’s okay. We can’t and don’t have to please everyone. If you stay true to yourself, the right people will connect in a natural way and that’s less exhausting! I love Loni too, she is amazing! 🧡
What's more important is that they respect you.
"If I'm honest, at times, I didn't even think he liked me" man that hurts and I know it too well. You go from Adrienne's thought to Loni's cos now you're wondering why.
🙏🏽
Loni has such a sweet soul that people tend to not realize because she is always telling jokes and using her comedy to mask any insecurities, which is what a lot of people do (including myself). So it is always nice to see Loni's vulnerability on the show. It makes her so relatable to me.
Yup that’s how I am too..
i feel like shes kinda misunderstood i can so relate to this ugh
It's like no one learned from Robin Williams. When he died, everyone was astounded that he was suffering. They didn't understand that the show is just a show, it isn't the truth of that person.
Because of Loni I started meditating.
Because of Adrienne I understand that I will not find my purpose that God has handcrafted for me until I am my authentic self.
Because of Garcielle, I realized that we do have just one life, do we want to live it not being ourselves?
This resonated and I love the growth and enlightenment of the ladies! 🙌🏽
Love from the Chi 💜
Yeesss girl!
Love this for you!🙌🏾🙌🏾
I ❤ This. Love these life lessons. I'm taking it ALL in!!
You didn’t know this before watching the clip?
Love this!
This show has been revitalized! I was honestly worried about if they would make it much longer after the remote Covid season, but the perspectives seem to come from a deeper and more genuine place! Loni isn’t relying on tired Woodrow stories, but speaking from honest experiences and it’s so great to see. Garcelle is also the perfect addition!
YES‼️‼️
Why would the be cancelled because of COVID
I don't understand why they don't have an audience when practically all the talk shows do. Like just rewrite them to be vaxed or have them be tested before they get in. There would've been a wonderful moment after Adrienne said something about the importance of loving herself more than her partner potentially loving her.
Yes!!
So true 👋👋🥰
I needed to hear this!! I asked myself the same question Loni!!!! I’ve come to the realization I refuse to force myself on anyone again!!! If my friendship aren’t built organically I will not invest in them anymore.
I love your content!!
Well said. I’m done being in one-sides friendships.
@@JourneyWithDawn Thank you! ❤️
@@drknow1997 Absolutely!!
I've realized that I can only be me, and I've decided that is what I'm going to do.
Oh my word, Adrienne's word at the end had me WEEPING!! Wow. She is sooo right. Her letting go of the man who didn't love her, opened up the door to a man who loves her wholeheartedly. Garcelle facing the rejection head on opened up the doors to her whole career. I choose to let go of my insecurities, fear and hang ups and I embrace the huge purpose God has for mee! Wow...
Amen and amen.
Amen!!!!
Shoot! Thank you for this comment, I listened to the end and Adrienne’s word… so good!!!!!
I want the best for Adrienne. Israel isn't her husband, aside from paper
@Lia....Whew....This whole comment you said....🙌💓🙌 Same here girl....same here....I felt everything they shared in this clip down in my soul....and by the time Adrienne made her final comment at the end I was in tears too. 😢They took us to church on this clip....Real Talk. 👍💕💕
Thank you Loni for sharing that vulnerable moment💓 "Why doesn't anyone like me?" It's such a difficult question that holds alot of weight and keeps you in an endless cycle. I've got to stop this, we all do! Don't try to please people, please God.
Amen
Don't believe the sadness in those women! They are not what they talk about it's all just for the attention, love yourself yes yet don't believe these women as they claim to be
💯
I asked that question to my dad once and he said you were not put on this earth to live up to anyones expectations but yours and God. He followed it up with the people who truly love don't really have expectations. He said I love you baby simply because you are mine. 🥰
@@rohiniguiland4873 WOW my dad said the same thing to me your dad is awesome just like my daddy those were his exact words to me Wow GOD Bless you & yours 🤗🙏🏽❤
I love Garcelle she is so classy and sophisticated. I love how intelligent and authentic she is.
Exactly, what a difference compared to some previous ones on the panel.
Loni made me cry, her situation reminds me of my 11 yr old daughter. She feels like people don't like her because she is annoying, loud or talks too much. She barely has any friends and she feels lonely. I have told her to NEVER change who she is just so that people can like her, the right friends will come along and they will love her just the way she is. As a mother it still breaks my heart when she feels lonely and cries.
Growing up I used to fear that people wouldn’t like me for being myself, so I was always insecure and doubted myself, I became a people pleaser. I still deal with this today at 26 years old. When I tell you I deeply admire people that don’t change for anyone and is true to themselves. I would think how free it must feel for them not having to worry about changing their personality and allowing the people that were meant for them to choose them. I hope your daughter doesn’t change to please other people and I know she will find true life long friends ❤️
@@mikanoel2953 hey 👋, im one of those people who is always true to herself and i really dont care if others like me or not but i have had so many people like me and its because i try to be close to Allaah, in islam we believe that when ur someone close to Allaah, u get so confident yet humble😊, i hope that helps. The purpose of life is to worship Allaah
Tell your baby. Keep on being loud. Keep talking too much. Keep taking up space! Tell her don’t let anyone tell her it’s too much. People would rather have too much than too little
When those kids are older, they'll be jealous of how "loud" and outgoing and loved and confident your daughter will be!
@@ddacoe0 exactly!! i came here to say exactly that. please let her know that her personality is AN ASSET!!
This is what I wish I had heard from my parents "everyone is not going to like you and it's ok". As a little black girl in an all white school and neighborhood, I worked overtime to be accepted and as an adult is still having adverse effects but I'm a great work in progress, Amen. The Real is doing so well because of content like this...Be you boo, be you!
I’m proud of you 🥰🥰🤗🤗 keep going 💞❤️
Proud of you sister❤️❤️
Loni is really hurt. Something is up. I feel like this season her tears are so close to the surface that on any mildly emotional topic she gets teary-eyed. Oh Loni sending you love and peace.
Loni was always an emotional person
I feel that she isn't as okay as she say she is. I pray that she finds strength in whatever she's dealing with. I watched this show for a while and she was not as emotional as she is now
I agree I think her being in the midst of all the Hollywood beauty standards has been very hard for her. I understand!
We're all going through something in these times. May we all find strength, sovereign wisdom and love in our lives 🌸
She may be in a season of release.
“No, I’m being me, not a stereotype of what you believe I should be”
Adrienne bailon!
That’s the quote right there!!!
Hit the nail right on the head…
Adrienne’s speech brought me to tears. This is something that I struggle with especially being such a hopeless romantic
God..what Loni said hit HAAAAAARRRRDDDD..i’ve struggled my whole life for people to like me or love (even some people from my family) until I realized that the only person i need to love me is ME..ladies love yourselves deeply and other people won’t matter ♥️♥️♥️
I love the direction The Real has been going in this season. The vulnerability and growth from Adrienne, Jeannie, and Loni has been so warming and encouraging every day. And Garcelle is SO refreshing. I had no idea I would love her addition as much as I do. Well done The Real team. 👏
Also, not in a rude way, but I’m so glad Amanda Seales branched off to find different networks that best serve her because I was concerned she would become a permanent host and change the dynamic of the show altogether. These current 4 women bring so much warmth and wisdom and I never want that to change. 💞🙏
I haven’t watched in awhile, did tamera leave?
I agree. This season has come together so well. So much more depth. Amanda's energy is warrior woman energy. Perfect for something else but not the best fit here.
I totally agree with you 😊
I totally agree. I really liked Amanda when she used to guest co-host, but when she finally did become a host, she brought a completely different energy. And, honestly, it really disrupted the whole dynamic and vibe of the show. Then they had to do the show on Zoom, and I really thought the show was a lost cause. But they really came back strong this season!
@@lollolol6756 and not to mention her constant hostility to Jeannie was always noticeable and made everyone at the table stiff.
Loni has cried in almost every episode this season, I get the feeling she's going through alot internally
Exactly!! get to the Root of the problem..
I think her mindfulness has brought her to a place of awareness about her experiences. There is nothing wrong with showing emotion
Therapy would be helpful🙏🏾
@@MsMak03 this!
@@MsMak03 you are right " nothing wrong in showing Emotions", but when it's very often. One has to get to the root cause. Then the healing can begin. Just another prospective, be open.
This is shadow work, and such a breakthrough moment. I love seeing this type of authenticity and dialogue, so inspiring and uplifting. Love you Loni, you’re so full of life and she really makes the show REAL!!!
I haven't sat down and watch the show for years... This was so beautiful to see. Especially since I was reflecting my own life journey. Seeing someone like Loni Love being vulnerable in national tv... Most of the time big darker black women are never portrayed more than an mean and angry person. This clip was motivation to see all 3 of them open up about this (especially since I grew up watching all of them on tv)
I think this is my favorite conversation they’ve ever had.
I adopted this mantra when I was little and still live by it today.... "What other people think of me is none of my business! "
Mow, PUT that on a tshirt and sell it!
I’m stealing that😂 Love it!
Loni and Adrienne hit so close to home for me! I was with a guy whose friends DID NOT LIKE ME because of how quiet I can be. I felt like I had to change myself in more ways than one until I didn’t like who I was. So glad I’m not in that place anymore!
My son is married to a very quiet woman. His friends and most of the family ( both sides) don’t like her because it feels rude and uncomfortable.Which is not. It’s who she is. You don’t have to change for anyone. You know what? Those same people still won’t like you if you do change
I wish I can like your comments 100 times. Especially the latter part.
And I was taught quiet people were suspect and untrustworthy. But you know people are who they are. And it’s ok
I’m the same way, I keep to myself and for whatever reason that makes people uncomfortable. From “friends” to even managers want to pull you aside and ask all these questions. One supervisor asked why I didn’t talk , I told her because I didn’t have anything to say 🤷🏾♀️ that took her aback and she always remembered that conversation. Fortunately, I learned at a young age to not care and to continue to do me because I could never please everyone else so I might as well be happy with myself.
@@LisaLisaCJ I’ve never heard of being taught quiet people were suspect coming from someone who is quiet and observant at first. I kinda laugh a bit inside because I never understood that idea when people say that. Like has this really happened to people? Like something happens to them because someone was quiet? Like I’m very used to people being loud and still plotting thing behind ones back so I always thought it’s never quiet people, like that would be too obvious.
When Loni said "I don't want to do this." Is very important and relatable because when having these conversations, most times you do not want to talk about deep stuff but pushing through and doing it, it can help so much.
What a full circle moment for Loni, hence her book title: “I tried to change, so You don’t have to” ❤️✨
I can totally relate to this conversation..
We love you Loni, there will always be miserable people who hate you for no reason and it's not you.
Always!
The reason why I love this show is because everyone can relate to their different personalities. I identify with Loni And I love her because she's funny, smart and genuine. It's true, not everyone is going to like you, but there's also million of people they will. Loni is the heart of the show ❤️
I’m in South Africa and I’ve been watching this show since 2017. I haven’t found anything not to like about Loni. She’s kind, beautiful, funny, smart and so much more. I love you Loni and keep being you. That’s enough.
Lonnie seems like she's still in the midst of working through this pain. Hopefully one day she will get to the point where discussing it does not still make her emotional. One day hopefully she will give zero *ucks what other people say or feel about her.
Live YOUR life for YOU not other people!!
Sometimes you cry for the person you were
I agree and disagree. It's okay for her to get emotional over this, crying is a healthy way of letting it out.
I agree, her reaction seemed a bit extreme to be something of the past
Shes just a deeply sensitive person who hides its behind humor we all have our ways of doing it
@@aaronbynum8968 Honestly, it's getting a bit much. I can remember recently she cried over a very minor conversation to do with Denzel. I was like girllll it ain't that deep. I genuinely hope she's alright.
I felt so alone until Loni said she struggles with that as well. My parents push me to make friends and get out more but I've reached my breaking point, it started in my teens when I stopped caring about who people want me to be. And it's like what Adrienne said. You gotta love yourself first. *Always* Thank yall for this topic.
Loni, it's their lost. Don't take it personal, don't lose what makes you, YOU for people that aren't worth being in your life.
Amen. It is their loss. Better is coming if we give it God.
Even when you're quiet, loud, happy or sad, its still you, and thats the full circle on humans. Loni I love you, and how you present yourself, this segment was honest and truly Real. ❤️
Wow, what Adrienne said really resonated with me. We must learn to first love ourselves. 💕
@Kaylin Carey girl same here. Going on 10 years
@@along58 your not the only one 🙂
Aaw man 💔
Only a crazy person wouldn't like Loni. She is genuinely a good person who constantly shows she wants the best for all the people she loves.
Yes! I hope she reads this. ❤️
I can't stand Loni. She's not even funny
Probably she's talking about Tamar?
This lady went in on Tamar before. Sorry but she seems pretty fake to me anything to get a check to buy a new portable fryer to fry her some chicken when she gets “emotional”
@Symone Black I think she is ABSOLUTELY funny so yeah, to each his own
This clip is life changing on so many levels. I could play it over and over....You ALL were on point. Points noted: Don't let anyone break your spirit because after all is said and done, nothing will ever be enough for everyone. Work on being your authentic self every day cause this one life is not a rehearsal.
This is the first time I’ve ever resonated with Loni. Felt real.
Aw Loni I completely understand you 😭💔
Hello there
How're you doing?
It takes so much courage for loni to cry on national tv and telling her insecurities. Loni your helping me to open up with my own issues, thank you!
Loni stays crying lol but agreed
I agree with all of what u said....Your all so beautiful inside and out!! U cant please everyone...when u do ...u lose yourself because u cant be yourself....then u hate your life because your pleasing everyone else...your living your life for everyone else...
“You’re not everyone’s cup of tea”
Amen to that! 💖
Learning to always be my authentic self because those who love you.. will love you for YOU!
Not everyone needs to like who you are and that is ok! Don’t live your life trying to please everyone, that’s something I’ve also had to remind myself!
i cried cause i relate to adrienne's story about her ex not even liking her at times....he was my first bf too so that made things even harder.
The hardest convo I had with myself is that many that people (Particularly Blackmen) may not want me based of the color of my skin and lack of a booty. That many will try to use me use me use me for sex, finance, and Convenience.
But I’ve learned to avoid these situations. pay attention to the red flags 🚩, let it be known what your looking for, set your boundaries, and most of all put God first.
I'm glad you had this convo with yourself. It's a tough reality for many BW- specifically darker skinned BW. I must admit, I fell down the rabbit hole of bingeing these "dating coaches". A lot of them spew so much negative, harmful and deceitful rhetoric about us being 'less attractive' or 'least desirable' and 'most aggressive' or 'masculine'. The absolute worst part is the million of subscribers agreeing with them... even the ones with darkskinned mothers themselves.
The truth is, while so many BM seemingly couldn't care less about us, there is soo many more with good values and genuine appreciation for BW. Super difficult to navigate through dating considering media depictions of a baddie (fat butts and boobs w/ the tiny waist). These few women do NOT represent BW as a whole. Regular Darkskin women are just as desirable. You are just as desirable. The right one exists and will find you in due time
If they (particularly Blackmen) or any other person chooses not deal with you based on things that you had no control over...... then is that really someone you would want in your life ? I'm glad you're able to see signs and flags now.
“Pay attention to the red flags” really speaks volume.. something Im working on, along with setting boundaries and not feeling bad about it.
Amen to that, beautiful sister. I'm alllll the way with you! 👑❤
Great Job!
Loni got me crying this season more than ever. I felt like on past seasons loni would avoid talking about her life and just make jokes in fear of getting too emotional. But now I think she has finally decided to open up and just be the emotional cancer she is and not feel ashamed of it!!! Yasss Loni you are shining this season and I love it 👏🏾🥰. Thank you for just being you ❤️❤️❤️
👏👏👏
Noticed that as well so happy she started speaking up more again love this for her !!
Love to see it.
It’s the beginning of one’s journey to truly accepting themselves
Cancer?
@@politereminder6284 That’s her zodiac sign.
“Rejection is apart of our lives.”
We need to engrave this on our children’s minds. This generation is to soft and I can attest to that :) 💙
Who wouldn’t like Lonnie? Sometimes people don’t like a person with a good heart is because they don’t have one. 💜
Loni's story was truly inspiring. In fact, Ade and Loni's story hit home.
me too sister
Adrienne's story definitely hit home. I was once in love with a guy who just didn't like me and I felt it. He would come to me for sex and sexual favors and completely ignore me on other days as if I did not exist. Such a horrible feeling.
@@MrsHarder08 yes. It's a horrible feeling. 😫
But in the midst of me feeling that way, God allowed me to see why it hurt so bad. I had a void that i THOUGHT a man could fill. Whatever that man did against me it crushed me to the core. Then, God showed me that I didn't love myself. Whatever a man "offers" you supposed to be an add-on, not a necessity. When you really, really love and value yourself, if a man leaves you'll be OK because you've already possessed what you wanted. Periodt! So next time, Queen, fall in love with yourself. You are your own necessity.
@@djennielaguerre7935 ❤❤🥺
Yes, kudos to them for going deep. Garcelle was all surface 😒
I’m at the point to where I just DONT CARE .Them not liking me is THEIR issue ,not mine .Their dislike should not stop the world from spinning .And 10 times out of 10 they don’t like YOU because it emphasizes something that THEY don’t have themselves .Whether it be your kindness ,your physical attraction ,your talent .Something that you possess that they don’t have BOTHERS them .Hope that helps guys .People just have jealous evil hearts .Be vigilant.
And it also could be that the person they don’t like really is a delusional bitch... I’ve met TONS of unaware people like this where I stayed or tried to steer away from, then they would wonder why I’m trying to avoid them... people can be unaware of their toxicity and not realize that the problem is THEM
I agree
@@thegoldenbowl5217 Qkkk
@@thegoldenbowl5217 I find some toxic people have been repulsed by my positivity and have actively tried to wear me down and break my spirit to make themselves feel better, has happened throughout all stages of my life. Usually an alpha female that feels threatened then strategises on how to turn everyone against you and isolate you.Tends to be women especially when you’re out and about and they just glare at you in the most hateful manner and you’ve never even met them in your life and you think to yourself what have I ever done to you? I look pass them and continue with my day. Sad that people would rather destroy someone and leave them broken instead of seeking the courage to better themselves and work on their insecurities
@@thegoldenbowl5217 I had a horrible person at work that couldn’t understand why I would go out to lunch a lot instead of sitting by them!
What a powerful conversation!! This is the type a Real I’m here for.
Lonnie. I feel your sadness 😔. I totally relate to what you're saying. I'm driven and ambitious and have always been put down for it. I've never fit in. Had to cut off every fake relationship in my life, including relatives! And I've never felt better 😌. I'm not hood enough. It's awkward too. Haters always try to remind me about my blk girl hair, as a way to attempt to undress me in public. They attack my heritage & my very being. It's always something about me, that an oddball in the room envies. It's hurtful. We just have to be genuine and keep it moving!! 💯
This was a great conversation! Being a black woman and not being “hood” in my town is hard. I’m genuinely not like that but not opposed to people who are. But they just don’t like me because I’m “too quiet “ or they think I’m being stuck up when I’m just shy and more reserved until we get to know each other more.
Same here. I’m really quiet and shy and people constantly mistake that for being stuck up.
It’s hard always feeling like you’re misunderstood.
@@kirarae21 Ik how you feel I am the Exact same way stay strong sis ik it hurts
Saaame. Even my family doesn't get me. And I don't get them.
That's exactly how it is where I'm from. I'm from one of the smaller islands in the Caribbean and Idk if its because its a small island but everyone just expects you to act a certain way and I don't. My accent isn't as strong as the average person here either so if you don't act or speak a certain way or do certain things they assume you're an outsider or treat you like one.. so when i say i was born and raised in Anguilla but my accent isn't strong or I'm rather reserved and quiet, they will genuinely argue with me and say i can't be an Anguillian because I dont do this or sound this way. And they ostrasize you alot sometimes because of it. Its so frustrating and makes me feel even more self conscious. I lived in the UK for 3 years and aside from not having my family there, in terms of being able to be myself without anyone judging or ostrasizing me for being a little different, I felt far more at home there than on my own island, which says alot.
You just described my entire life. I'm now 50 years old, and still dealing with people who judge me because I'm introverted and am more open in small group situations 🙄
I left a job where I was hated and treated badly. Now I'm at a job where they praise me everyday and i know what that is worth now because of what I've been through. Find the lesson in everything.
I’m in the same boat as you. I’m currently at a job where one person dislikes me and talks about me behind my back. It’s hard to be at my job
@@jenb955 Have you addressed them yet?
Yes but it seems like it has just made it worse. The person doesn’t know I know what is said behind my back which makes it harder to confront because I don’t want my other coworker to be upset I snitched
Congrats🙂
I,too,left a job where they TRIED to dog me out.I went to all the higher ups and was told that they knew the problem was management.They told me they were working on it.Three years later i cleaned my locker out,put my badge on her desk and walked out.I so wanted to curse my boss dafuq out but I didn’t.I walked away like the lady I am and from what I’m being told the turnover rate in that department is even higher.Know your worth!
People even hate you when you finally get tired of getting walked on and finally come to your own defense. Now you're "rude and abrasive." But you just said you let people walk all over me. I can't win for losing. So I basically stay to myself.
Loni, that’s something we July babies go through and we have to let that go of people not caring for us and needing to know why! Adrienne, loving someone who doesn’t love you back is definitely thee worst feeling ever! Garcelle, asking God to show you what you are supposed to be doing is definitely the my question to him right now! I love you ladies!💞
Loni you hit the nail on the head for most of us but the truth is some folks are just not going to like us for no apparent reason at all 🤷🏼♀️
I gave up a piece of my soul for a man that didn't even like me but didn't have the guts to tell me BEFORE wasting my time. I've always been too embarrassed to admit that to myself, but Adrienne took the words out of my mouth. Completely changed and tried to keep up with a man who just tolerated me and lowkey didn't even like me.
So powerful and honest.
I did the same thing and trust me I wish I could go back and change that. It was the most humiliating time of my life I was very young and I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to really learn to unapologetically love myself.💓
You've just set yourself free.
How do you know someone doesn’t like you? And also why does that person stay with you if they don’t? Some people make no sense! Wasting people time
@@sorayahhugy1993 He "chased" after me in the beginning and once he got bored he lost interest but wouldn't break up with me. I knew he lost interest though because we weren't having conversations that we did in the beginning, we weren't going out anywhere anymore, we would just hangout with his friends or by ourselves. The effort to actually date and maintain an actual relationship had dwindled on his part and i felt like i was carrying that relationship on my back.. like Adrienne said "trying to make it happen and it just wasn't going to." I straight asked him once why he fell back with "chasing me" and he outright admitted that he already caught me and knew I wasn't going anywhere so why try anymore...he said it in a joking way but he was being serious as a heart attack, and looking back he was more than likely being passive aggressive. I felt like sex (he was my first unfortunately) was the only thing keeping us together and once we broke up I realized I wanted physical intimacy with him so much because I was in an emotional drought from his lack of interest. I felt like he was tolerating me because he just didn't have the balls to leave me sooner than he did and it was embarrassing to think I cried and begged him to stay with me when he didn't even like me anymore. We got into one fight, not even a major one, and he used that as a scapegoat to leave and then proceeded to tell everybody that I was crazy and that's why he left. It definitely traumatized me but I'm happy to hear that I'm not the only one that has had an experience with a partner who didn't like them, as weird as that is. I'm with you, if you don't like the person, why the hell are you with them in the first place? In my case it was because he was bored when we met, enjoyed the first month of our relationship, got bored again, and just didn't have the nerve to break things off by being honest with me and telling me he didn't like me anymore. Instead he dragged it out because he was waiting until he could find a way out (petty argument), which is why he stayed with me so long even though he didn't like me. Still don't make sense 😂
Now this right here, hit different. Loved every bit of this 👌🏽👌🏽
Everyone feels inadequate at some point in their lives. It’s part of the growing process. For me, leaning on the Lord has helped me. 🙏🏾
I feel Loni 100% especially when it’s your own “friends” who treat you differently than their other friends or older family members who don’t bother to have a bond with you. It hurts and I’m still learning how to work through it.
@k f Omg, this hit home so much. I grew up a foster and ALWAYS felt like I was never wanted or really loved. I over compensated to prove that I was just as good only to be chastised when I showed up the biological kids! Some of us are invisible to our families into our adulthoods. It's a hard fact. What's worse is that we have to walk alone our whole lives. When we ask those loved ones why we are treated so poorly, we are gaslit! Just ugliness on so many levels. This is when I walk away and take my son with me. He deserves better. He's 20 now. I tell him why we don't put up with family abuse: we take pride in who we are, respect ourselves and treat ourselves and others like human beings! Those who don't, Don deserve our love.
Adrienne’s spoke to my spirit i think every woman goes thru that with at least a few men where our love is unrequited and we need to know when to leave ☹️
I’m 50 now and I feel the same way. I don’t need no friends. I’m so happy I don’t have to front for people no more.
This is one of the most powerful episodes they did
Cannot imagine NOT loving Adrienne back. She’s such a sweetheart
I think it’s Lenny
@@thatjamericankidd6637 yep, and the really sad part is that he still proposed to her...
@@thatjamericankidd6637 it's definitely Lenny lol. From the stories Adrienne has told it sounds like he's just mean.
Insecurity makes weak men tear beautiful women like this down, just to feel dominant again. Been there, and it’s super sad as you begin to doubt yourself. Cannot stress the importance of remembering who TF you are.
@@thatjamericankidd6637 yeah it was definitely him, she’s talked about how he wasn’t affectionate, wouldn’t go to church with her. He was unfaithful, all those things.,
Adrienne's honesty hit a nerve😪❤️.
It's so painful to get to a point where you have to choose yourself over someone you love!
Think she was talking about her ex-fiance. That's a REALLY hard conversation to have...to eventually break off an engagement? Wow.
True, "you're not everyone's cup of tea" ❤ I have to let this sink in.
Loni I go through that everyday. And it’s hard because it seems like where you work at you always have to change and conform but I find it hard to really remember who I am. I’ve lost so much confidence these past few years because my job always gives constructive Criticism. But I will find a way back to my roots. Thank you for being vulnerable because I struggle with this everyday it’s nice to see I’m not the only one.
It’s crazy because I love hearing Loni’s perspective on everything. She’s so real, to a different degree. And she’s beautiful and I hate ppl for being so mean for no reason!
I especially appreciate how much Loni has opened up over the years I’ve watched the Real. I see you. I’m grateful for your realness.
Preach! Good Real Talk...
I’ve had to learn this in different stages of my life, Loni. I’m actually in that stage again as a woman headed into my forties. As I’m growing and going through changes, not everyone has been willing to see me or embrace me, who I really am. It hurts to realize that but life goes on and I have to move with it. Not everyone will get YOU or grow with you, etc. and it’s okay! Just make room for the people who will come into your life and embrace/ love you and release the dead weight.
True
These ladies went deep, really felt for Loni and she gave some great advice. Not everyone is going to like you and that's okay, you cannot let them break your spirit. I also love the part about it does not matter what your age is, you are still learning and evolving like Adrienne pointed out.
Side note I am loving the set decor for the holidays.
Damn....first Adrian stuck the knife in and then Loni twisted it. This really hit home for me. It feels good to know that celebrities go through the same trials and tribulations as us! Thank you all for sharing this!!
These are real questions that we all ask ourselves..I appreciate them for being so honest and vulnerable.
The tears are flowing! Loni, I can relate to your story is so many ways. Thank you for your transparency!
"I know me & I like who I am" ❤️❤️❤️🙌🙌🙌
Loni you're funny, your character says it all. Never let those people put you in that position 💯 this is who you are and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise. I love you sis 😘😘😘you can't make everyone happy no matter how hard you try..
This is really hit the nail and home for me
Thank you ladies for sharing your stories. I truly admire y'all courage and strength to share y'all stories with the entire world, because it takes a lot courage to do that so for that I thank you.
Hey Loni!
You’re a very warm, brave and inspiring woman. You also have a very likable personality, in fact for some it might be intimidating.
So stay strong in that, and in your person. Even people that love you, sometimes might not like certain things you might do, but they accept you and like and love you for who you are.
You’re a great person! Bask in it and enjoy it❤️❤️
Lennie was a looser, so happy Adrienne is happy now!!!
Hearing Loni's story brought tears to my eyes... I have had so many of these moments asking myself this exact question. I am diagnosed ADHD and admittedly, that makes me a little odd.
Some of the answers I've gotten with self reflection is
"You're too much, you may see this as being yourself but sometimes people don't understand your high energy. Approach grounded and listen to other people."
"You have shaky boundaries, do not be so giving and sharing all your deepest secrets with someone if you don't know them."
This has helped me immensely, I have calmed down alot and set better boundaries 😊 Like Loni said, it's okay if I'm not everyone's cup of tea, all I can do is work on myself and be happy with myself 💖
🤣
@@carlitosway1330 thankyou 😊
Hello there
How're you doing?
@@jessicamerced9116 Hope you're safe due to the weather over there ?
Thank you Jessica for sharing your diagnosis. I have lots of energy too and at work I’ve been labeled as too much or hyper. It would bother me and I would try to change my behaviors. I was diagnosed with adhd a few days ago and it really put my mind at ease because now I know where a lot of my behaviors stem from. I am now making a conscious effort to not care about what others think.
I'm definitely feeling,this conversation. This was a blessing to hear. Thank you ladies.
Thank you Loni!!!❤️ I was sitting here asking myself this question. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in the family I was born into. I won’t go along with the disfunction that exists in our family and they don’t like me for it. It hurts, a lot. 😢 but I need to find away to love myself no matter what.
Growing up as a plus sized girl I understand loni perfectly this is a REAL conversation 🙏
Awwww
its always so crazy how i always relate with Adrienne
Me too 🙏🏾
Same and Garcelle
Love the genuine conversation. It’s what a lot of people go through everyday.
absolutely loved every bit of this!!!! I can definitely rewatch this over and over and over and not get tired of this. Because there are so much helpful tips and reminders that we all need. Every time we go through each new season, theres always something. Rewatching this is a reminder to yourself of Who You and Be You no matter what that looks like because being you that is true yourself is all that really matters. Love this!!! So, to be honest... I take this as reminder to myself to be true to me.
Damn i cried, we’ve all been there.
Loni talking about trying to be what ppl wanted her to be is such an important point, because that’s actually one of the things that makes me “dislike” ppl. I can tell when someone is being themselves and when they’re “putting on”.
I bet once she got to that place of excepting who she is, she realized how much the ppl around her loved her for her!
Oh, Loni! 💔 This is so relatable and real. Thank you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
I’ve learned in life that even the most seemingly confident people care what others think at some degree. We’d be surprised at how much we’re more alike than different.
That person that seems to have everything together is probably going through many of the same things as you.
We need to be more kind to each other.