I love the idea of a Fantasy Hug!! 🤗😁🤗 We, like you, are still looking at public transport as a No Go for the moment, and looking at the crowds in spaces this weekend and hearing from a few plotholders about their travels on public transport and the roads... 😕 Oh, and your lovely cards have just reminded me of the corkboard I found the other day that someone was throwing away. 😊 AND a huge hug to Auntie Teapot (when you can...) for her 100th... did she get a Queenie card? ❤ And we need a paddle in a salty brine and sand between our toes, so... Here's to friendship bubbles... 😊
Yay for the bubbles! Yes, she got her Queenie card......I still can't quite comprehend that she's 100! Oh my goodness I am so looking forward to a day when I can have a dip in the sea again..........dreaming....... :-)
Glad to see you are coping with the garden. I haven't seen family (and thus hugs) since Christmas, not sure if I'll see them again until next year. I'm thankful for the company (as always) of my kitties as I've lived alone for 30 years (which I love). I too, garden a bit at a time but it still gets done.
I thoroughly enjoy living alone too.......but this time has made me realise just how much I get love and comfort from my friends outside of my home. I look forward to having that again. :-)
Congratulations on the 100th birthday of aunty teapot! Yay..... happy birthday to her... happy... oh well I can't sing so let's stop there before I break all the glass windows in my home... ;) And yes to all you've said. Yes to try to accept help, yes to keeping in mind we're not there yet with the virus of doom, yes to accepting that you can't do all at the same day, yes to taking a snooze with or without a book and I do hope there was/is no damage at the neighbors allotment. It's very windy over here in the Netherlands and with the trees in full leaves it's a worry that damage might happen on the allotment site as well. I'm kind of safe as I'm not that near to the trees but some of my dear fellow gardeners are and I don't wish anything happen to them or their gardens. I try not to think about that giving water the whole time as I am doing every day...pffttt... pumping water is a chore that takes a few hours of my life and I'm thankful for the water but not for having to pump it up from 7m deep, one watering can at a time...but allas... there are worse things to worry about if I look around me. I also try to stay away as much from the internet/news but sometimes I will pull my head out of the sand and look around until I've enough and then go into the head in the sand again. It's a sort of keeping sane option. Big virtual hugs dear Vivi, take care, take joy, and have fun in the garden to your heart delight xoxo. Vleer.
Oh my goodness......pumping all that water must be such a chore.....gosh, I shall think of you next time I am about to complain about watering.....at least I only have to go to tank to dunk my cans in. Hopefully we will both have a drop of rain soon......and an evening off the work of watering! ;-)
I get your frustration with reduced physical ability. I'm there too. Age (63), arthritis, and just poor physical conditioning have really changed my ability to DO! This year with my big move and desire to build a whole new garden, I knew and budgeted for help, but there are still things I should have been able to do that I'm finding too difficult, or tax me to the point that I might be able to do just that one thing, then need to rest. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING!!! But I got over that concept of not accepting help a while ago... After a sermon at church. By not accepting... Or asking for help, we are denying others the opportunity to give. Other people feel just as we do when we offer help and it isn't accepted. So get over it!!! And HUGS to you ❤️!
Apparently Facebook was one of the route causes of my mental state of depression. So I deleted it back in 2016 17 haven't been on it since I feel much more mentally stronger and confident since I'm not comparing myself to other people it shouldn't really matter anyway.what you look like or what you have accomplished having in your life. Lots of love
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Viv .Happy 100th Birthday to your lovely Aunt .Hope the carers can face time you and at least see your Aunt on her birthday .I just want to hug my mum so much and know its what she needs.Been over 3 months .Hope you enjoy your weekend my dear friend and Thank you again for taking the time to make videos .It has kept me going on this emotional roller coaster over the past few month .Much love and such a big hug sent your way xxx
I enjoyed the slow down of our areas. We live in a high tourist area. Having the space to ourselves for a bit was nice. The benefits of less pollution was something I hoped we would all learn. I do plan to keep the social distancing. I plan to continue to limit the shopping or any unnecessary trips for that matter. We could all take things away from it. Besides, my garden looks amazing lol take care Vivi. Hope you got to have that nap in the garden house.
Hurrah for more time in our gardens! I keep saying to fellow plotters 'if folk don't make a decent garden this year there's something wrong with them!'...... I hope we get to keep a bit of space and slowness for a little while yet....... :-)
On an earlier post I offered to dig your beds for you , but, alas, I live too far away. I wish I could as it would be so much fun for me to chat with you as well. I know how you feel about getting older and less limber as I am going through the same thing. "Who is this old lady in the mirror? " Since our social distancing,[ I hate that term], I am getting quite grey as well. Just so you know I push myself after I watch what you do and my gardens are improving this year. Compost is the most important thing besides energy to work on the yard. So glad you bought some and I could help with that. Why is there no you near me? Love ya!
Perhaps you can suggest the idea of a barter system of sorts at the allotment. Maybe there could be a sign up sheet or community calendar or something where one plot holder might ask for help digging a bed in exchange for watering another's plot. Or if someone is going on vacation they might sign up on the calendar to let others know when they will be away and what they'd like done (such as weeding or watering) and they could help do the same for someone else on their holiday, or perhaps help with painting a shed or providing transportation to the garden center, etc. Even if all they could do is bring a pitcher of lemonade in the summer, it'd be something in exchange for something else. Everyone can pitch in when and where they're able. Completely voluntary, but you do have to give something to receive anything or else there could be those taking advantage, of course. This way, you wouldn't feel like you were getting something for nothing, especially if you knew you'd be paying it back (or forward?!) in some other way.
This is what I was thinking also, and I’m glad you are coming round to it. I leverage peer pressure at all times to do anything! And here’s the other thing to remember. Especially and specifically for the strong, able bodied ppl younger than you, who have grown up with screens, they/we crave community. We crave physical tasks as a break from all the mental ones, and those of us who have moved around all the time, who grew up in cities, a lot of us WANT to experience community, and working together in a group, and feeling useful to someone...and we have absolutely no idea how to go about experiencing it, because it is not a part of our experience. Organizing a working bee is itself a valuable thing to offer, because that intangible feeling of purpose is worth so much. There are ppl especially now who are desperate for a reason to go outside (LOTS of offers of free dog walking in my area lol), and literally all they have to offer is the strength in their arms and legs...and because of that, they feel useless. They aren’t useless, they just have not met someone who has that need. You aren’t useless either, or are you helpless, but you can fulfill that need and give them an opportunity to feel useful and capable and good about themselves. There’s a mental health crisis, for heavens sakes and one of the solutions is exactly what you have to offer! Not to mention all the young people desperately stuck on waiting lists for allotments, and brand new gardeners who would love ANY opportunity to learn what they should be doing when they finally get one of their own... Facebook can help you here. It doesn’t have to be your plot neighbours. You can be a mentor and a teacher and a community builder for these people because that’s what you are naturally.... you do it online, of course you can do it on your plot! Recent immigrants who miss their farms and gardens, uni students who need a distraction,...I could go on and on...probably because I’d love to learn about chickens and bees in this way...and I may pester my neighbourhood ppl until they start letting me help for that reason! Your knowledge is a valuable thing that you can offer in exchange for ppl using their strength....that’s what community is, and that’s what bartering is. For the same reason I keep wondering why you don’t have Ko-fi or something similar (I know you do have paypal, which is good) I’d love to ‘buy you a cup of coffee’. You are a content creator who offers value to my life... why shouldn’t I easily send you a few dollars in appreciation if I want to? Money is what I have to give. Soothing expertise that removes the mental stress from my job is what you have to give. This is how human beings form networks and societies all across this big, beautiful, complicated, global world we live in. Being independent is all well and good, but it is only through interdependence that miracles happen. Much love and squishy, tightly held hugs!
I'm going through the same kind of adjustment regarding helping/being helped. At almost 80 (I'm a Virgo) who also has bad knees, I am having to admit that maybe I'm not the 40 year old I think I am when I think of a project that needs to be done and that maybe I should cut down the scope of the project or get help. The fact that you're admitting that you have been having a problem is halfway to the adjustment. Thanks for sharing. It certainly helped me.
I feel exactly the same way. My daughter is in Los Angeles and the city is under curfew due to rioting and I just want her safely home in Canada. The garden is affording me a little peace. Take care.
Well said, Vivi. It is so hard to surrender control. My physician told me ,at my last physical, that I should slow down. She reminded me that I'm no longer 28, but 58. Like I needed to be reminded. Lol. Big hugs to you sweet lady.💕
Your trip to the post office sending the goodies from your shop, Thank You for the sacrifice you gave, in time, spent there. Rain dance needed it🌂 Help comes back round two way thing, you are denying love. Not loosing it's gaining. Acceptance Vivi. Like myself you are uncomfortable with change.💖
Nice listening and watching you chat,in scotland you can meet eight people in one day in a park or private garden social distancing,happy birthday to your aunt 🎉🎂🎂🌸
Heyyyyy Vivi! The heat is on here too. Slow and easy wins the race...lol! I love your feelings about hugs. It’s a beautiful idea to envision a hug with someone you love. I’m sure when you were doing that it was felt. I had my first hug outside my family yesterday at the garden center. Wowwww it was nice. We looked at each other like..Can I hug you!?!? I never thought I would have to worry about missing a hug. I think with every future hug I will think back about these days and hug tighter❤️ Vivi never be to stubborn to receive help or ask for it. I do know how you feel. It doesn’t mean we’re at an age that we can’t do it by ourselves. Everybody needs help every now then no matter the age. It really makes the job so much easier. Take care Vivi and I’m so glad..”Everything is working out for you!” ✌🏼❤️& Hugs 🤗🤗🤗
Oh that hug must have been wonderful!!! I think we need to remember this time and never take hugs fro granted again. :-) Sending massive ones to you lovely. :-)
Our Dearest Vivi, perhaps a day in the garden and a day for everything else until your new knees are here. It is so hard to not feel frustrated when you no longer can be who you were. Love to you!
I agree about both offering nd accepting help. I’m stubborn in very much the same way as you are - and it i just LOVE to help other people - one of my greatest joys in life is to see other people happy, but i need to accept that i need to accept some of the offered help from time to time. When helping others i often say that i will always give anyone a hand UP. But i’m the wrong person to speak to for a hand OUT. It’s the teach a man to fish principle. Big hugs.
I too have been on my own for over 20 years and I am fiercely independent and have spent year doing stuff for others.... Health issues have forced me to call in favours.... all I can say is.. My friends have been more than happy to help where they could.... each year that goes by my joints limit what I can physically do... I hate it .... but I am so grateful people are willing to give a hand when needed ...
Happy Birthday to your Great Aunt Teapot 100 is an amazing thing. I hope she has 100 more. Now for you, we are so alike in many way. My body at 65 can't do what I did at 40. I have always been the giver of help never the taker. It is a hard change to make. It's one thing when someone asks if they can help but for me I find it almost impossible to ask someone if they can help. Hopefully we both let down those barriers and learn we aren't weaker because we can no longer do it all.
I feel exactly the same about coming out of seclusion. I'm horrified for those who've been so adversely affected by this virus....but for my own personal world, I've been a blessed by the slower pace and certain parts of the remoteness of it all. I'm not ready for 'the usual' in many ways. I live a fairly secluded life anyway, but to not feel pressured by the world for just a bit--it's been a relief. I know virtual hugs are not really what you need right now...but sending the most life-like virtual hug that I can, your way.
Hi Vivi ! Here comes a humungus (bigger than huge) spirit hug !!! Umph! Hope your Aunty's birthday is delightful for her.💐🎂 Be good to yourself. Keep safe. Blessings to all ❣💞💚🌸
The good thing about imagining...the brain does not know the difference between actual and imagined. So if you imagine an activity such as hugging, your brain will release oxytocin. Small comfort but right now that is what we have! I actually have a designated hugging partner. My grand daughter and I hug each other but no one else. I relate wholeheartedly to your self reflection on giving/receiving and my mother in law...eons ago...said to me that it was a gift to let others do for me. But it is such a vulnerability too. Another factor is that I want things done MY WAY. And I want the satisfaction of the accomplishment. I really understand the dilemma. Guess it is a balancing act. Wearing masks and avoiding social contact here still. We are not at the end of this virus...it is going to be awhile. Stay well...beautiful person that you are!!!
Happy birthday Dear Sister Vivi, God bless you and everyone around you with most beautiful and productive year too. The feeling which you describe about being a law-abiding citizen is very much true. May God bless your the chance to enjoy the company of loved ones like your mother, the lovely aunt, rest of your family and dear boys Richard and Paul too.. God bless 🙏🌞🌻🌺🌲
Completely with you there Vivi. I used to be terrible at accepting help, seeing it as a bit of a failing, but have learned - slowly - that it's okay! Conversely I've also learned to say no when I've truly been unable to provide assistance - I used to say yes to everything then really worry that I wasn't going to be able to follow through to a good enough standard. Plus there are certain people who downright seem to push the boundaries and it sounds like you've met one or two of them! Your shed bed sounds fab - hope you enjoy many a garden snooze filled with buzzing and birdsong! Virtual hugs coming your way x
Ahhh, yes....learning when to say no is just as important as learning when to ask for help......I'm working on both of these! Massive hugs to you two also.....and the little fur beast of course. ;-)
Awww....Vivi. I love the fantasy hug idea!! You have me in tears! You are an incredible human and you have set such a powerful example throughout these last few crazy weeks of how to meet and overcome adversity with dignity, perseverance, creativity, humor and a relentlessly positive attitude! Maybe you don't see it in yourself but it has shown through clearly to your viewers! Thank you!!! Sending lots of hugs your way!!
Vivi, I have liked lockdown way too much as well. It's been a time of being alone and I always knew that I would like it too much so I would intentionally make myself go to social things. I know it would not be a good thing for me to withdraw from society. So it's always been a thing that I have to make myself do. Yes, there are great benefits to a social life which seem to benefit those that I'm around. My grandson is the hugger in the family. He's now 15 and still gets a hug from everyone that he can. I've not held back from hugging him every time we see each other during this lockdown situation. We still get together as a family of four every Sunday at my house for family time. Bradley gets several hugs while he's here. I too have struggled with letting go of independence and letting my daughter help with certain things. For me I guess it's more about giving up being in charge of every thing in my life. I'm getting a little better at it but still it's a struggle. I don't know if you have heard about the riots in my country. It started with a man being held to the ground by the police with a knee on the neck for nine minutes until Emergency Medical Technicians arrive to care for him. He was dead on arrival at the hospital. It has sparked riots all across the country including in my city. We are now not only in isolation but 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew as well. I suspect the pent up energy from being quarantined for so long is causing a eruption from frustration. It's caused another killing in my city just last night during a riot. All the ear marks are there for another violent night here. As for me, I'm staying home safe and sound. Have a great day on the allotment. Nebraska Dave Urban Farmer
The news coming out of America is so incredibly sad......and shocking. I won't say anymore. :-( This lockdown/isolation thing has obviously worked better for some of us than others.....I have been quite happy to retreat from the hullabaloo of life and just be with my small circle of really good friends.....and my garden time. The next few months are going to be odd at best. X
Dear Vivi, so now i have finished watching your video. Something else occurred to me: I think the more confident, independent and organized a person has lived for many years, the harder it may be for them to ask for help. Because you have learned over years to deal with problems on your own. And asking for help can sometimes be really difficult. But I think it should be worth trying. And when your own body can no longer perform as you were used to, it can be a shock that cannot be processed so quickly. It would be even nicer, of course, if other people were so sensitive, saw where their help was needed, and offered it (with all their heart) without being asked beforehand. I also believe that many people lack close contact with family members or friends. The last time I saw my family was four and a half months ago. Which is really not easy because my father is very old. So it's okay to have sad or unmotivated days. Nobody has to be ashamed of that. We are also very lucky to meet here at Vivi in the garden or in the "cottage in the sky" and support each other. Thank you Vivi for that. Big hug Claudia
I love this little community we have here....it is so full of love and support and positive thoughts/ideas........it will help us all until that time when we can be with our friends and families again. :-)
If nothing else this lockdown has been a great time for self reflection and all these patterns of behaviour and our beliefs I believe are formed from our childhood primary carers and socio economic background. It’s not easy to adjust but sharing how you feel with us lot is a pretty fearless stride so good for you Vivi x 😘
I know what you mean about your aunty...I'm currently looking after an elderly neighbour who is very vulnerable and has no family ... so has been totally locked down for 2 months so far.... I therefore have done the same, I don't want to pass anything on.... I sanitise, do a big shop, sanitise again, deliver shopping, put it away for him, do whatever he needs help with, come home sanitise and shower , then Isolate for 10 days to make sure I haven't picked up anything..(eg passers by disposing of their gloves and masks over his front garden wall.).... ( scum!) .. It's a palarva, but. needs must... so far we are staying well... Last night there was all sorts of partying going on in the house behind me... no social isolation there then.... we can only look after ourselves and keep safe.
It’s a hard learning curve to show you are vulnerable you feel weak but it shows you are strong as well if I was near I would be there to help and one day soon in the future we will hug 🤗 you are very strong and I admire your strength x
Sending you a virtual hug, Vivi. I agree with you, the noise levels have gone down as well as the planes in the sky. We sat one evening in our court yard and suddenly I was .. Oi no planes. And we are living in the country and the nearest airport is 50 kilometres away. But we still noticed that. In other news, in my neck of the wood which is usually a very rainy area during February and April as we are under Atlantic influence, is officially a drought area now with orange alert of wood fires.
Hi Vivi I just stumbled onto your channel and I feel right at home 😊 I'm a singleton with no family and a loner by nature, with just a few dear friends spread out over the world. Lockdown (here in Belgium) has not been too hard for me apart for work. I'm a telco engineer working on contract and right now no one is hiring. 🙁 I worry about work and money but luckily for me I have some savings, a small house, a garden, and dogs, all of which are helping me through this. Cuddling up with my Wolfhounds gives me all the physical touch I need (insert picture here of me, a 5'10" big girl, sharing a dog bed with a 70kg giant hound having a cuddle love fest 😊) Asking and accepting help is so hard for those of us who have always been so self-sufficient... It's something I also struggle with. I'm the first person to say "how can I help?" why is it so hard to ask for it when I need it?
Hello Sylvie, with Vivi you can feel confident at home. Check out a few of her other videos and you'll get to know her quickly. In addition, a permanent community has formed here since Vivis channel was founded, which motivates and supports each other. best regards Claudia from Germany
Oh my goodness Sylvie.....you had me at 'Wolfhounds'....they're my absolute favourites!!! I'm so glad you have such a gorgeous companion to cuddle with through this time. :-)
@@WhatVivididnext thank you! I feel very blessed to have them in my life! I fell in love with them as a child and I've been extremely lucky to share my home with a few of them over the past 15 years. ❤️
While it is hot where you are I've had weeks and weeks of rain. Too much water for the vegetables I'm trying to grow and almost too much for flowers. Keep well and happy gardening Vivi.
Like you there are parts of lockdown that I am relishing. My garden is full to bursting with salads and veg, I am learning lots from various You Tube channels. Please accept a huge virtual hug from South Wales, my daughter is in Beckenham and I am so missing her, I know just what you mean about the lack of human touch. My little dog does his best to fill in though. Take care of youtself, I am learning to accept help but it is a difficult path to tread. Love your channel and am doing my best to go through from the beginning. Pam x
Oh thank you so much Pam! :-) I am not too far from your daughter so in a moment I shall go to my south facing window (it faces her direction) and give her a big wave and blow kisses to her. :-)
Thankyou Vivi for a chill video I sat back with my dinner while watching. Lol! yes I agree with the bubble way of thinking just what Richard and Paul were just mentioning also. We can only take care of ourselves and loved ones,anyway appreciate your time today. Thankyou for letting us know about Auntie Teapot,yay ! Happy 100th Birthday luv Ontario Canada blessings 🐝🏴
Aww, Vivi. Here's a big virtual hug for you. It would be around your waist because you are ten inches taller than I am, but it will still be a good one. Thanks for sharing how its been for a single person, I had no idea how hard it could be for others unlike myself (husband outside puttering all day, but he does come in to go to the bathroom, eat and sleep.) Oh what the heck, here's another hug.
I think many of us feel this way vivi, you are not wrong there! I feel guilty just concentrating on my bubble so I’m happy to hear it’s not just me. I’ve seen my daughter now a couple of times, but cannot hug her, that’s difficult...not really worried about hugging anyone else I must say 🤣 ...... I have felt less alone in the lockdown, than in normal times, normally everyone else is busy with families and what ever else is taking them out of themselves, whilst in lockdown people have been talking and caring and giving time to others. So, will just have to see, time will tell like it always does, I hope this not all too previous! Lots of hugs my dear, I’m sure you have many coming your way once it’s allowed. 🤗🤗🤗
Hi Vivi I am also sending you a virtual hug...the loving vibes are pinging over to you from all over this gardening cosmos ..can you feel them ? Please give Richard & Paul a Virtual Hug from Me when you get to visit their Allotment and Pauls braces a great big Twang ! Lol Blessings xxxShaz
Vivi, you are worse than me. LOL I have a terrible time accepting help too. It is one of the things that I learned as a child from my mother. She learned to do it herself and never complained. However, for me now it is no longer possible to do so many things that I just did without thinking. At 71, I get so frustrated when something as simple as fixing spaghetti is so hard that I fall asleep after it is all. Take care of yourself, please, I would miss you if you stopped being Vivi. (I'm selfish!) All of the friends who used to help me are now unable physically to do so and some have moved away. The garden will just have to wait a bit longer. Have a snooze and then you will go out and do a bed. Thanks for sharing. Stay safe.
I think I probably learned it from my mum too. I'm definitely learning to take care of myself though.......hahaha, I'm going to be around for a while yet. ;-)
I’m nervous too Vivi. I can’t say it’s been a problem to us. That’s not to say some people are really struggling with this and I do recognise that. But like you I have enjoyed and appreciated the slower pace of life, the clean air and social side which I feel is disappearing in our country. It’s been a bit one man for himself feel to me up to the pandemic and I believe that can only be a bad thing for societies. But your right we’re slipping back into that lifestyle. We only yesterday we are to become grandparents! Life continues we shall continue staying safe and keeping home. Trying to stay safe and helping our NHS ourselves and extending family. My son has to travel to work by train but says that there are far fewer people on them at the moment and agree they should be just for workers at the moment the fewer people on them the better for the workers. I admit I quickly hugged my daughter in law. Briefly, really briefly. I have a large garden which I’ve tended for 30 yrs I’m 59 this yr and this year noticed just how knackered I am after spending a few hours in it. My son has offered to help and I’m finding that strange I know I need a little help with the more physical stuff but at the same time I feel it’s for me to do as I always have. We’re funny folk us gardeners. Enjoy your garden, stay safe.
Oh my goodness! What fabulous news about becoming grandparents....yay, happy day!!!! Hopefully when she/he arrives you'll be able to do all the hugging and sloppy kisses you want! In the meantime.....hurrah for our gardens......and sons who are happy to help.......let him! :-)
Vivi part of what you are going through is the aging process. It’s hard to accept our limitations as we get older. I haven’t given up on the physical tasks I did in my garden at 40 only slowed things down and pace myself more. Don’t be afraid to ask fort help when you need it.
Don't think you will ever become a person who lets others do for you all the time. "Helpers" never become that person. So... not to worry. I enjoyed your ruminations today. We all reach the point where we have to slow down, and then accept help. We just have to overcome that little bit of Pride.
Coming to terms, asking for and accepting help only makes you a more ferocious warrior. As a 65 yr.old Canadian woman , I understand that it takes even more guts to accept your body's challenges and continue to do the best you can. Snooves are the new normal for us all as we age with grace. Being a giver also includes being an accepted. Love your channel and your way of looking at a self sustaining life. Sending you may vibes of peace.
I was fortunate to retire a year ago in April 2019 from a busy admin job in NHS. I slowly got used to a 'slower' way of life (but busier than ever doing and learning new things) - as with you my body is starting to say hey you shouldnt have done that... and sometimes I think when am I going to learn to adjust. I am one of the fortunate ones to have a home with a garden (which I have turned into a mini veg patch since lockdown) and share the allotment with my other half. As you say the allotment has been such amazing bonus, I can go down there and not worry about social distancing with strangers in a park, who have no regard for anyone else. Our allotment grounds is fairly small and we have a mix of people (age, gender and ethnicity), some want to chat, some want to keep to themselves - that is fine, it is our choices to make. Yesterday was my daughters birthday, with the easing of lockdown she was able to come over and have a picnic lunch in safety, all of us keeping our distance under a lovely shaded area, that belongs to an elder resident who has planted trees and made it like your communal area I suppose. I so wanted to give her a big hug, but its great to meet up as well. Anyway my main reason for commenting is, have been watching your videos for about a year and enjoy them immensly, this one certainly rang some bells..... Thank you for taking the time to talk with us, take care of yourself and sending you a virtual hug as well xx
Oh thank you Dawn!.....and I am so happy to hear that you were able to celebrate your daughter's birthday this way...........odd....but still a celebration eh?! Yay! Take care lovely......your slower way of life is probably going to become more busy than ever........but all with things you WANT to do. :-)
Personally I have loved being shielded and will continue to do so until I feel it is safe for me to go out although I have no urge to do so. I am fortunate because I am retired, live alone, have a garden and there is so much I want to get on with. At 76 I feel I have done everything I wanted to do 'out there'. I too feel that it will slowly get back to how it was sadly.
It is on of the hardest things to accept that ones body is becoming limited - especially when it is an earlier than anticipated curtailment. Also is it an instinctive reaction to appear more capable than one is - i always liken it to a wounded animal that makes out it is ok or goes into hiding. The thing i have learned to my cost is that refusing help and slowly becoming more isolated is not good either. oOneday you wake up and realise that your support circle has got a whole lot less because you have pushed it away so often that they stop asking. It is really a much healthier and stronger thing to ask for help and be able to allow someone that level of intimacy with you. Also maybe look up the pomodoro technique to help you work out a pace to suit you xx
Oh I totally agree lovely......and I am very fortunate to have a wonderful circle of people around me....I would never want to push any of them away. :-)
Between the unusual weather and this virus and everything you have going on in your life, it's completely understandable you would get behind. It will work out but give others the chance to feel good from helping you.
Most of things that you liked about lock down, were things that don't go hand in hand with city life. In the country, there is less traffic, less noise, and less pollution. Vivi, I think you need to move to a small village! It'd suit you. I can picture you in a tiny cottage with a garden around it, and every square inch of it planted, and getting to know all the people in the village.
"In the country, there is less traffic, less noise, and less pollution. " Unfotunately not. we live in the country and we get swamped with city dwellers every weekend and during the holidays and we are not even living in a particularly typical touristic area. But I second the fact that Vivi needs a little cottage with garden somewhere in the country side.
It's wonderful to be independent Vivi, but we all need help at times, for whatever reason. Imagine what you would feel like if you went in for a big hug and that person stood back and said no? Think about it. Everything should be give and take!!! Bless you
Hi Vivi, I understand what you mean about independence and always saying “no thank you, I got it but I appreciate the offer”. One of my sisters recently told me I was too proud and that it was against our religion, and that’s all I’m going to say about that conversation. ☺️ But being the oldest of 8, it all has to do how one is raised and how one develops as an adult. Vivi, (“we can learn to adapt”, as you said) the good thing is, you and I HAVE acknowledge that we could use some help and accepting it, doesn’t have to take anything away from us if we don’t let it, on the contrary both parties will benefit instead. 😊 I hope you got your little snooze Vivi ☺️, and until next time dear friend, take good care of yourself.😉💗💗💗
I’ve had both experiences, total strangers being friendly and some being rude because I choose to wear a mask and they don’t. Unfortunately I’m seeing plenty of small businesses closing for good partly because the small business package the government offered went to big corporations and not where it should have. Of course afterwards there was “oops, that didn’t go so well, let’s do it again” while each side (democrat/republican) blamed each other. Here in the US they call it “staying in place” because heaven forbid they use a strong word like lockdown and step on toes 🤭. Now were re-opening (too soon) and seeing spikes in covid cases. I will continue to work my three days a week in home health, stay in place and wear my mask when I do have to go out. You gave us some good things to think about. I will hug my grandkids first! I Enjoy your chats. Blessings.
Awwww, tha first hug with your grandkids will be SOOOO special........oh, enjoy every squashy second of it! Until then........continue to look after yourselves.... :-)
It is hard to ask for help Vivi especially if we have always been independant, but I ask myself would I do the same for them if they asked? Of course I would! You may be able to help them one day, just some small thing that would make a difference to them. We are in strange times, we are going to stay in lockdown. So many people are flooding the moors and beaches down here in Devon, their complacency is to me frightening. One young woman interviewed on one of the beaches just said she was fed up with listening to it all and was going to ignore the advice. How selfish is that? I am going to stay safe and stay at home and leave space for all those who really do have to go out. Take care lovely xxx
Ugh...some folk are acting crazy...and selfish.......I will leave them to it and stay safe inside my bubble for now.........no matter how much I want to go to the sea and swim! ;-)
It comes to all of us dear! Learn to share the wealth as well as the sorrow! A burden shared is a burden halved. Sorry, I know this sounds trite but is true. You need to portion your strength out. Look at each job and find out the wiser and easier ways to get it done. THe bull at the gate soon wears himself out and often breaks a leg or his spirit! Here endeth the lesson. Blessed be.
I thought about this when you said you didn't know how much longer you could do this. Next time you need all your beds dug over why don't you organise a working bee. Round up half a dozen able bodied friends and or fellow plot holders. Give them a time and day. Lay on some sandwiches, cups of tea and maybe a slice of cake or a biscuit, and get it all done in a morning. Truth be know it will probably only take a few hours and with a group of friends or gardeners you'll probably have great fun doing it with minimal outlay.
If it's ok for demonstrations to take place, it's ok for you to start getting around. 😊 You can were a mask and go meet them. The rules are not written is stone. It's subjective, unless you don't feel safe yourself to get out. 😊
I love the idea of a Fantasy Hug!! 🤗😁🤗 We, like you, are still looking at public transport as a No Go for the moment, and looking at the crowds in spaces this weekend and hearing from a few plotholders about their travels on public transport and the roads... 😕 Oh, and your lovely cards have just reminded me of the corkboard I found the other day that someone was throwing away. 😊 AND a huge hug to Auntie Teapot (when you can...) for her 100th... did she get a Queenie card? ❤ And we need a paddle in a salty brine and sand between our toes, so... Here's to friendship bubbles... 😊
Yay for the bubbles! Yes, she got her Queenie card......I still can't quite comprehend that she's 100! Oh my goodness I am so looking forward to a day when I can have a dip in the sea again..........dreaming....... :-)
Glad to see you are coping with the garden. I haven't seen family (and thus hugs) since Christmas, not sure if I'll see them again until next year. I'm thankful for the company (as always) of my kitties as I've lived alone for 30 years (which I love). I too, garden a bit at a time but it still gets done.
I thoroughly enjoy living alone too.......but this time has made me realise just how much I get love and comfort from my friends outside of my home. I look forward to having that again. :-)
Totally understand, independent has a dear price to pay. Take care of yourself ❤️❤️🐸
Thank you lovely. :-)
Congratulations on the 100th birthday of aunty teapot! Yay..... happy birthday to her... happy... oh well I can't sing so let's stop there before I break all the glass windows in my home... ;) And yes to all you've said. Yes to try to accept help, yes to keeping in mind we're not there yet with the virus of doom, yes to accepting that you can't do all at the same day, yes to taking a snooze with or without a book and I do hope there was/is no damage at the neighbors allotment. It's very windy over here in the Netherlands and with the trees in full leaves it's a worry that damage might happen on the allotment site as well. I'm kind of safe as I'm not that near to the trees but some of my dear fellow gardeners are and I don't wish anything happen to them or their gardens. I try not to think about that giving water the whole time as I am doing every day...pffttt... pumping water is a chore that takes a few hours of my life and I'm thankful for the water but not for having to pump it up from 7m deep, one watering can at a time...but allas... there are worse things to worry about if I look around me. I also try to stay away as much from the internet/news but sometimes I will pull my head out of the sand and look around until I've enough and then go into the head in the sand again. It's a sort of keeping sane option. Big virtual hugs dear Vivi, take care, take joy, and have fun in the garden to your heart delight xoxo. Vleer.
Oh my goodness......pumping all that water must be such a chore.....gosh, I shall think of you next time I am about to complain about watering.....at least I only have to go to tank to dunk my cans in. Hopefully we will both have a drop of rain soon......and an evening off the work of watering! ;-)
I get your frustration with reduced physical ability. I'm there too. Age (63), arthritis, and just poor physical conditioning have really changed my ability to DO! This year with my big move and desire to build a whole new garden, I knew and budgeted for help, but there are still things I should have been able to do that I'm finding too difficult, or tax me to the point that I might be able to do just that one thing, then need to rest. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING!!! But I got over that concept of not accepting help a while ago... After a sermon at church. By not accepting... Or asking for help, we are denying others the opportunity to give. Other people feel just as we do when we offer help and it isn't accepted. So get over it!!! And HUGS to you ❤️!
I totally agree! I just need to apply it in my own life. ;-)
I am not a hugger but I now accept people are and that’s has taken a long time to learn so now I try to hug those that want hugs 🤗 and it’s a pleasure
Awww, that's lovely.....I'm sure the recipients really appreciate it. :-)
I totally relate to the frustration of not being able to physically do what I used to. You will never be a helpless one, Vivi. ❤️🌻
Thank you Susan. :-)
Dearest Vivi,
I have not yet finished watching your video.
But now comes the very best, longest and dearest hug just for you !!!!!
Awwww, thank you! :-)
Apparently Facebook was one of the route causes of my mental state of depression. So I deleted it back in 2016 17 haven't been on it since I feel much more mentally stronger and confident since I'm not comparing myself to other people it shouldn't really matter anyway.what you look like or what you have accomplished having in your life. Lots of love
Absolutely! Good on you lovely. :-)
You give help. People would be very pleased to help you. Don’t be proud. Don’t take everything on yourself. Good luck.
Thankyou Frances. :-)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Viv .Happy 100th Birthday to your lovely Aunt .Hope the carers can face time you and at least see your Aunt on her birthday .I just want to hug my mum so much and know its what she needs.Been over 3 months .Hope you enjoy your weekend my dear friend and Thank you again for taking the time to make videos .It has kept me going on this emotional roller coaster over the past few month .Much love and such a big hug sent your way xxx
Aww, thank you lovely....big hugs back to you!......and hopefully to all our mums and other loved ones before toooooooo long. :-)
I enjoyed the slow down of our areas. We live in a high tourist area. Having the space to ourselves for a bit was nice. The benefits of less pollution was something I hoped we would all learn. I do plan to keep the social distancing. I plan to continue to limit the shopping or any unnecessary trips for that matter. We could all take things away from it. Besides, my garden looks amazing lol take care Vivi. Hope you got to have that nap in the garden house.
Hurrah for more time in our gardens! I keep saying to fellow plotters 'if folk don't make a decent garden this year there's something wrong with them!'...... I hope we get to keep a bit of space and slowness for a little while yet....... :-)
On an earlier post I offered to dig your beds for you , but, alas, I live too far away. I wish I could as it would be so much fun for me to chat with you as well. I know how you feel about getting older and less limber as I am going through the same thing. "Who is this old lady in the mirror? " Since our social distancing,[ I hate that term], I am getting quite grey as well. Just so you know I push myself after I watch what you do and my gardens are improving this year. Compost is the most important thing besides energy to work on the yard. So glad you bought some and I could help with that. Why is there no you near me? Love ya!
Awwww, thank you lovely! I would love to have a digging party with you! :-)
Happy 100th teapot! We're so looking forward to having you at the plot - and coming to yours too. X
Yay! I can't wait...... :-)
Perhaps you can suggest the idea of a barter system of sorts at the allotment. Maybe there could be a sign up sheet or community calendar or something where one plot holder might ask for help digging a bed in exchange for watering another's plot. Or if someone is going on vacation they might sign up on the calendar to let others know when they will be away and what they'd like done (such as weeding or watering) and they could help do the same for someone else on their holiday, or perhaps help with painting a shed or providing transportation to the garden center, etc. Even if all they could do is bring a pitcher of lemonade in the summer, it'd be something in exchange for something else. Everyone can pitch in when and where they're able. Completely voluntary, but you do have to give something to receive anything or else there could be those taking advantage, of course. This way, you wouldn't feel like you were getting something for nothing, especially if you knew you'd be paying it back (or forward?!) in some other way.
Oh yes, we very much do this already......that's why I'm so happy to be on this site....everyone pitches in. It really is lovely. :-)
This is what I was thinking also, and I’m glad you are coming round to it. I leverage peer pressure at all times to do anything! And here’s the other thing to remember. Especially and specifically for the strong, able bodied ppl younger than you, who have grown up with screens, they/we crave community. We crave physical tasks as a break from all the mental ones, and those of us who have moved around all the time, who grew up in cities, a lot of us WANT to experience community, and working together in a group, and feeling useful to someone...and we have absolutely no idea how to go about experiencing it, because it is not a part of our experience. Organizing a working bee is itself a valuable thing to offer, because that intangible feeling of purpose is worth so much.
There are ppl especially now who are desperate for a reason to go outside (LOTS of offers of free dog walking in my area lol), and literally all they have to offer is the strength in their arms and legs...and because of that, they feel useless. They aren’t useless, they just have not met someone who has that need. You aren’t useless either, or are you helpless, but you can fulfill that need and give them an opportunity to feel useful and capable and good about themselves. There’s a mental health crisis, for heavens sakes and one of the solutions is exactly what you have to offer!
Not to mention all the young people desperately stuck on waiting lists for allotments, and brand new gardeners who would love ANY opportunity to learn what they should be doing when they finally get one of their own... Facebook can help you here. It doesn’t have to be your plot neighbours. You can be a mentor and a teacher and a community builder for these people because that’s what you are naturally.... you do it online, of course you can do it on your plot! Recent immigrants who miss their farms and gardens, uni students who need a distraction,...I could go on and on...probably because I’d love to learn about chickens and bees in this way...and I may pester my neighbourhood ppl until they start letting me help for that reason!
Your knowledge is a valuable thing that you can offer in exchange for ppl using their strength....that’s what community is, and that’s what bartering is. For the same reason I keep wondering why you don’t have Ko-fi or something similar (I know you do have paypal, which is good) I’d love to ‘buy you a cup of coffee’. You are a content creator who offers value to my life... why shouldn’t I easily send you a few dollars in appreciation if I want to? Money is what I have to give. Soothing expertise that removes the mental stress from my job is what you have to give. This is how human beings form networks and societies all across this big, beautiful, complicated, global world we live in.
Being independent is all well and good, but it is only through interdependence that miracles happen.
Much love and squishy, tightly held hugs!
Thank you so much lovely for your kind and wise words. XXX
I'm going through the same kind of adjustment regarding helping/being helped. At almost 80 (I'm a Virgo) who also has bad knees, I am having to admit that maybe I'm not the 40 year old I think I am when I think of a project that needs to be done and that maybe I should cut down the scope of the project or get help. The fact that you're admitting that you have been having a problem is halfway to the adjustment. Thanks for sharing. It certainly helped me.
" I'm not the 40 year old I think I am" Yep......
Ach, it's hard facing the truth......we'll get there somehow! ;-)
Hi Vicki
I got to hug my oldest son today after 3 months not seeing him 💙I am 58 and my bones are not good sending you hugs 💛
Ach, sorry to hear about your bones too.......boooooooh! But.....hurrah for hugs with your grown up baby! Yay!!!!!! :-)
I feel exactly the same way. My daughter is in Los Angeles and the city is under curfew due to rioting and I just want her safely home in Canada. The garden is affording me a little peace. Take care.
Thank goodness for our gardens! :-)
Wendy King that must be terribly worrying on top of all the other stress, im sure she will keep safe. Xxx
Well said, Vivi. It is so hard to surrender control. My physician told me ,at my last physical, that I should slow down. She reminded me that I'm no longer 28, but 58. Like I needed to be reminded. Lol. Big hugs to you sweet lady.💕
Hahahaha, oh my goodness I hear you! The problem is when in our hearts and inds we ARE still 28! :-)
Absolutely! Lol
Your trip to the post office sending the goodies from your shop, Thank You for the sacrifice you gave, in time, spent there. Rain dance needed it🌂
Help comes back round two way thing, you are denying love. Not loosing it's gaining. Acceptance Vivi.
Like myself you are uncomfortable with change.💖
Exactly.....but I'll adjust. ;-)
Nice listening and watching you chat,in scotland you can meet eight people in one day in a park or private garden social distancing,happy birthday to your aunt 🎉🎂🎂🌸
It's so confusing that the four home nations are all advising different things! Eek. :-)
Heyyyyy Vivi! The heat is on here too. Slow and easy wins the race...lol! I love your feelings about hugs. It’s a beautiful idea to envision a hug with someone you love. I’m sure when you were doing that it was felt. I had my first hug outside my family yesterday at the garden center. Wowwww it was nice. We looked at each other like..Can I hug you!?!? I never thought I would have to worry about missing a hug. I think with every future hug I will think back about these days and hug tighter❤️ Vivi never be to stubborn to receive help or ask for it. I do know how you feel. It doesn’t mean we’re at an age that we can’t do it by ourselves. Everybody needs help every now then no matter the age. It really makes the job so much easier. Take care Vivi and I’m so glad..”Everything is working out for you!” ✌🏼❤️& Hugs 🤗🤗🤗
Oh that hug must have been wonderful!!! I think we need to remember this time and never take hugs fro granted again. :-) Sending massive ones to you lovely. :-)
Our Dearest Vivi, perhaps a day in the garden and a day for everything else until your new knees are here. It is so hard to not feel frustrated when you no longer can be who you were. Love to you!
Oh thank you Margaret. :-)
I agree about both offering nd accepting help. I’m stubborn in very much the same way as you are - and it i just LOVE to help other people - one of my greatest joys in life is to see other people happy, but i need to accept that i need to accept some of the offered help from time to time. When helping others i often say that i will always give anyone a hand UP. But i’m the wrong person to speak to for a hand OUT. It’s the teach a man to fish principle. Big hugs.
I too have been on my own for over 20 years and I am fiercely independent and have spent year doing stuff for others.... Health issues have forced me to call in favours.... all I can say is.. My friends have been more than happy to help where they could.... each year that goes by my joints limit what I can physically do... I hate it .... but I am so grateful people are willing to give a hand when needed ...
Absolutely lovely! :-)
I can’t wait for hugs too🤗I haven’t been outside since the lockdown ☹️🌸
Oh my goodness! Well, here's a massive virtual hug for you in the meantime! :-)
Happy Birthday to your Great Aunt Teapot 100 is an amazing thing. I hope she has 100 more. Now for you, we are so alike in many way. My body at 65 can't do what I did at 40. I have always been the giver of help never the taker. It is a hard change to make. It's one thing when someone asks if they can help but for me I find it almost impossible to ask someone if they can help. Hopefully we both let down those barriers and learn we aren't weaker because we can no longer do it all.
We will have to agree to being a work in progress. ;-)
Lovely visit Vivi xxx
Thanks Heather. :-)
another lovely video glad you are going to get help well done vivi
Cheers lovely. :-)
So happy to hear your realizations about asking for and accepting help! Now it's just a matter of implementing it. :)
Virtual hugs to you, Vivi.
Hahaha, the implementing is the hard bit! Massive hugs back to you lovely. :-)
I feel exactly the same about coming out of seclusion. I'm horrified for those who've been so adversely affected by this virus....but for my own personal world, I've been a blessed by the slower pace and certain parts of the remoteness of it all. I'm not ready for 'the usual' in many ways. I live a fairly secluded life anyway, but to not feel pressured by the world for just a bit--it's been a relief. I know virtual hugs are not really what you need right now...but sending the most life-like virtual hug that I can, your way.
Awwww....virtual hugs right now are MOST welcome. A massive one back at you lovely. :-)
Hi Vivi ! Here comes a humungus (bigger than huge) spirit hug !!! Umph! Hope your Aunty's birthday is delightful for her.💐🎂 Be good to yourself. Keep safe. Blessings to all ❣💞💚🌸
Oooooh, thank you for that gorgeous hug. :-)
The good thing about imagining...the brain does not know the difference between actual and imagined. So if you imagine an activity such as hugging, your brain will release oxytocin. Small comfort but right now that is what we have! I actually have a designated hugging partner. My grand daughter and I hug each other but no one else. I relate wholeheartedly to your self reflection on giving/receiving and my mother in law...eons ago...said to me that it was a gift to let others do for me. But it is such a vulnerability too. Another factor is that I want things done MY WAY. And I want the satisfaction of the accomplishment. I really understand the dilemma. Guess it is a balancing act. Wearing masks and avoiding social contact here still. We are not at the end of this virus...it is going to be awhile. Stay well...beautiful person that you are!!!
Awww, thank you Candace...you stay well too. I love that you have a designated hugger!!! :-)
Happy birthday Dear Sister Vivi, God bless you and everyone around you with most beautiful and productive year too. The feeling which you describe about being a law-abiding citizen is very much true. May God bless your the chance to enjoy the company of loved ones like your mother, the lovely aunt, rest of your family and dear boys Richard and Paul too.. God bless 🙏🌞🌻🌺🌲
Thank you so much lovely. :-)
Completely with you there Vivi. I used to be terrible at accepting help, seeing it as a bit of a failing, but have learned - slowly - that it's okay! Conversely I've also learned to say no when I've truly been unable to provide assistance - I used to say yes to everything then really worry that I wasn't going to be able to follow through to a good enough standard. Plus there are certain people who downright seem to push the boundaries and it sounds like you've met one or two of them! Your shed bed sounds fab - hope you enjoy many a garden snooze filled with buzzing and birdsong! Virtual hugs coming your way x
Ahhh, yes....learning when to say no is just as important as learning when to ask for help......I'm working on both of these! Massive hugs to you two also.....and the little fur beast of course. ;-)
Sending virtual hugs from across the pond💝💝💝🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦Always love to see you share your reality and honesty. 🤗🤗🤗
Awww, thank you lovely! :-)
Awww....Vivi. I love the fantasy hug idea!! You have me in tears!
You are an incredible human and you have set such a powerful example throughout these last few crazy weeks of how to meet and overcome adversity with dignity, perseverance, creativity, humor and a relentlessly positive attitude!
Maybe you don't see it in yourself but it has shown through clearly to your viewers!
Thank you!!!
Sending lots of hugs your way!!
Oh, gosh, Cindy thank you so much for your kind words....I truly appreciate them. X
Vivi,
I have liked lockdown way too much as well. It's been a time of being alone and I always knew that I would like it too much so I would intentionally make myself go to social things. I know it would not be a good thing for me to withdraw from society. So it's always been a thing that I have to make myself do. Yes, there are great benefits to a social life which seem to benefit those that I'm around.
My grandson is the hugger in the family. He's now 15 and still gets a hug from everyone that he can. I've not held back from hugging him every time we see each other during this lockdown situation. We still get together as a family of four every Sunday at my house for family time. Bradley gets several hugs while he's here.
I too have struggled with letting go of independence and letting my daughter help with certain things. For me I guess it's more about giving up being in charge of every thing in my life. I'm getting a little better at it but still it's a struggle.
I don't know if you have heard about the riots in my country. It started with a man being held to the ground by the police with a knee on the neck for nine minutes until Emergency Medical Technicians arrive to care for him. He was dead on arrival at the hospital. It has sparked riots all across the country including in my city. We are now not only in isolation but 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. curfew as well. I suspect the pent up energy from being quarantined for so long is causing a eruption from frustration. It's caused another killing in my city just last night during a riot. All the ear marks are there for another violent night here. As for me, I'm staying home safe and sound.
Have a great day on the allotment.
Nebraska Dave
Urban Farmer
The news coming out of America is so incredibly sad......and shocking. I won't say anymore. :-( This lockdown/isolation thing has obviously worked better for some of us than others.....I have been quite happy to retreat from the hullabaloo of life and just be with my small circle of really good friends.....and my garden time. The next few months are going to be odd at best. X
Dear Vivi,
so now i have finished watching your video.
Something else occurred to me:
I think the more confident, independent and organized a person has lived for many years, the harder it may be for them to ask for help.
Because you have learned over years to deal with problems on your own. And asking for help can sometimes be really difficult. But I think it should be worth trying.
And when your own body can no longer perform as you were used to, it can be a shock that cannot be processed so quickly.
It would be even nicer, of course, if other people were so sensitive, saw where their help was needed, and offered it (with all their heart) without being asked beforehand.
I also believe that many people lack close contact with family members or friends.
The last time I saw my family was four and a half months ago. Which is really not easy because my father is very old.
So it's okay to have sad or unmotivated days. Nobody has to be ashamed of that.
We are also very lucky to meet here at Vivi in the garden or in the "cottage in the sky" and support each other.
Thank you Vivi for that.
Big hug
Claudia
I love this little community we have here....it is so full of love and support and positive thoughts/ideas........it will help us all until that time when we can be with our friends and families again. :-)
Happybirtday teapot auntie 100. 🍰🎂🥂🍾
Thank you Dee. :-)
Birthday Blessings for Auntie 🎂👒🎀 VIRTUAL HUGS Sweet Vivi 💞🎀 we press on💋
Thank you lovely. :-)
If nothing else this lockdown has been a great time for self reflection and all these patterns of behaviour and our beliefs I believe are formed from our childhood primary carers and socio economic background. It’s not easy to adjust but sharing how you feel with us lot is a pretty fearless stride so good for you Vivi x 😘
Thank you so much lovely. :-)
I know what you mean about your aunty...I'm currently looking after an elderly neighbour who is very vulnerable and has no family ... so has been totally locked down for 2 months so far.... I therefore have done the same, I don't want to pass anything on.... I sanitise, do a big shop, sanitise again, deliver shopping, put it away for him, do whatever he needs help with, come home sanitise and shower , then Isolate for 10 days to make sure I haven't picked up anything..(eg passers by disposing of their gloves and masks over his front garden wall.).... ( scum!) .. It's a palarva, but. needs must... so far we are staying well... Last night there was all sorts of partying going on in the house behind me... no social isolation there then.... we can only look after ourselves and keep safe.
Oh good on you lovely for taking care of your neighbour, that's a beautiful thing to do and I'm sure you are massively appreciated! :-)
It’s a hard learning curve to show you are vulnerable you feel weak but it shows you are strong as well if I was near I would be there to help and one day soon in the future we will hug 🤗 you are very strong and I admire your strength x
Oh thank you Lisa. :-)
Sending virtual hugs ❤️ it's always hard to let others help! It's good to listen to your body! Glad your in a happier place 😊
Cheers lovely. :-)
Sending you a virtual hug, Vivi. I agree with you, the noise levels have gone down as well as the planes in the sky. We sat one evening in our court yard and suddenly I was .. Oi no planes. And we are living in the country and the nearest airport is 50 kilometres away. But we still noticed that. In other news, in my neck of the wood which is usually a very rainy area during February and April as we are under Atlantic influence, is officially a drought area now with orange alert of wood fires.
Oh good grief....I certainly hope you don't get any fires......what an extraordinarily hot and dry start to the year! :-)
Hi Vivi
I just stumbled onto your channel and I feel right at home 😊
I'm a singleton with no family and a loner by nature, with just a few dear friends spread out over the world. Lockdown (here in Belgium) has not been too hard for me apart for work. I'm a telco engineer working on contract and right now no one is hiring. 🙁
I worry about work and money but luckily for me I have some savings, a small house, a garden, and dogs, all of which are helping me through this. Cuddling up with my Wolfhounds gives me all the physical touch I need (insert picture here of me, a 5'10" big girl, sharing a dog bed with a 70kg giant hound having a cuddle love fest 😊)
Asking and accepting help is so hard for those of us who have always been so self-sufficient... It's something I also struggle with. I'm the first person to say "how can I help?" why is it so hard to ask for it when I need it?
Hello Sylvie,
with Vivi you can feel confident at home.
Check out a few of her other videos and you'll get to know her quickly.
In addition, a permanent community has formed here since Vivis channel was founded, which motivates and supports each other.
best regards
Claudia from Germany
Oh my goodness Sylvie.....you had me at 'Wolfhounds'....they're my absolute favourites!!! I'm so glad you have such a gorgeous companion to cuddle with through this time. :-)
Oh, P.S. .....a very warm welcome to you! :-)
@@WhatVivididnext thank you! I feel very blessed to have them in my life! I fell in love with them as a child and I've been extremely lucky to share my home with a few of them over the past 15 years. ❤️
Recognition is the first part of change. Good luck on this journey!
Thank you Lisa. :-)
While it is hot where you are I've had weeks and weeks of rain. Too much water for the vegetables I'm trying to grow and almost too much for flowers. Keep well and happy gardening Vivi.
We need a weather exchange programme! ;-)
@@WhatVivididnext Ha, ha. Yes indeed.
Oh my goodness- everything you said today are the things that I've been thinking myself! It's like you've read my mind! Be well
I think there are a great many of us feeling this way........it's good to know we're not alone! :-)
Like you there are parts of lockdown that I am relishing. My garden is full to bursting with salads and veg, I am learning lots from various You Tube channels. Please accept a huge virtual hug from South Wales, my daughter is in Beckenham and I am so missing her, I know just what you mean about the lack of human touch. My little dog does his best to fill in though. Take care of youtself, I am learning to accept help but it is a difficult path to tread. Love your channel and am doing my best to go through from the beginning. Pam x
Oh thank you so much Pam! :-) I am not too far from your daughter so in a moment I shall go to my south facing window (it faces her direction) and give her a big wave and blow kisses to her. :-)
Thankyou Vivi for a chill video I sat back with my dinner while watching. Lol! yes I agree with the bubble way of thinking just what Richard and Paul were just mentioning also. We can only take care of ourselves and loved ones,anyway appreciate your time today. Thankyou for letting us know about Auntie Teapot,yay ! Happy 100th Birthday luv Ontario Canada blessings 🐝🏴
Yay! Cheers Beverley. :-)
Just be careful to not bruise the first lucky person to get hugged!
Hahahaha - I'll be in danger of asphyxiating them with the tightness of my hug! ;-)
Aww, Vivi. Here's a big virtual hug for you. It would be around your waist because you are ten inches taller than I am, but it will still be a good one. Thanks for sharing how its been for a single person, I had no idea how hard it could be for others unlike myself (husband outside puttering all day, but he does come in to go to the bathroom, eat and sleep.) Oh what the heck, here's another hug.
Awwwww, thank you for your gorgeous squishy, waist high hugs! :-)
I think many of us feel this way vivi, you are not wrong there! I feel guilty just concentrating on my bubble so I’m happy to hear it’s not just me. I’ve seen my daughter now a couple of times, but cannot hug her, that’s difficult...not really worried about hugging anyone else I must say 🤣 ...... I have felt less alone in the lockdown, than in normal times, normally everyone else is busy with families and what ever else is taking them out of themselves, whilst in lockdown people have been talking and caring and giving time to others. So, will just have to see, time will tell like it always does, I hope this not all too previous! Lots of hugs my dear, I’m sure you have many coming your way once it’s allowed. 🤗🤗🤗
Oh I can't wait for those delicious hugs! Until then.......the bubble will keep me happy.....and you too. :-)
Hi Vivi I am also sending you a virtual hug...the loving vibes are pinging over to you from all over this gardening cosmos ..can you feel them ? Please give Richard & Paul a Virtual Hug from Me when you get to visit their Allotment and Pauls braces a great big Twang ! Lol Blessings xxxShaz
Hahahaha - I can't wait to ping those braces. Will do lovely. :-)
Thank you Vivi, for a wonderful self awareness for myself as well.
Oh thank you Sherri. :-)
Vivi, you are worse than me. LOL
I have a terrible time accepting help too. It is one of the things that I learned as a child from my mother. She learned to do it herself and never complained. However, for me now it is no longer possible to do so many things that I just did without thinking. At 71, I get so frustrated when something as simple as fixing spaghetti is so hard that I fall asleep after it is all. Take care of yourself, please, I would miss you if you stopped being Vivi. (I'm selfish!) All of the friends who used to help me are now unable physically to do so and some have moved away. The garden will just have to wait a bit longer. Have a snooze and then you will go out and do a bed. Thanks for sharing. Stay safe.
I think I probably learned it from my mum too. I'm definitely learning to take care of myself though.......hahaha, I'm going to be around for a while yet. ;-)
I’m nervous too Vivi. I can’t say it’s been a problem to us. That’s not to say some people are really struggling with this and I do recognise that. But like you I have enjoyed and appreciated the slower pace of life, the clean air and social side which I feel is disappearing in our country. It’s been a bit one man for himself feel to me up to the pandemic and I believe that can only be a bad thing for societies. But your right we’re slipping back into that lifestyle. We only yesterday we are to become grandparents! Life continues we shall continue staying safe and keeping home. Trying to stay safe and helping our NHS ourselves and extending family. My son has to travel to work by train but says that there are far fewer people on them at the moment and agree they should be just for workers at the moment the fewer people on them the better for the workers. I admit I quickly hugged my daughter in law. Briefly, really briefly. I have a large garden which I’ve tended for 30 yrs I’m 59 this yr and this year noticed just how knackered I am after spending a few hours in it. My son has offered to help and I’m finding that strange I know I need a little help with the more physical stuff but at the same time I feel it’s for me to do as I always have. We’re funny folk us gardeners. Enjoy your garden, stay safe.
Oh my goodness! What fabulous news about becoming grandparents....yay, happy day!!!! Hopefully when she/he arrives you'll be able to do all the hugging and sloppy kisses you want! In the meantime.....hurrah for our gardens......and sons who are happy to help.......let him! :-)
Vivi part of what you are going through is the aging process. It’s hard to accept our limitations as we get older. I haven’t given up on the physical tasks I did in my garden at 40 only slowed things down and pace myself more. Don’t be afraid to ask fort help when you need it.
Thank you lovely. :-)
Don't think you will ever become a person who lets others do for you all the time. "Helpers" never become that person. So... not to worry. I enjoyed your ruminations today. We all reach the point where we have to slow down, and then accept help. We just have to overcome that little bit of Pride.
Ach, yes, the pride thing.....and stubbornness.....I'm beginning to learn. ;-)
Coming to terms, asking for and accepting help only makes you a more ferocious warrior. As a 65 yr.old Canadian woman , I understand that it takes even more guts to accept your body's challenges and continue to do the best you can. Snooves are the new normal for us all as we age with grace. Being a giver also includes being an accepted. Love your channel and your way of looking at a self sustaining life. Sending you may vibes of peace.
I meant snoozes, lol.
Omg, an acceptor...and many vibes.
Awww, thank you so much Muriel. ;-)
I was fortunate to retire a year ago in April 2019 from a busy admin job in NHS. I slowly got used to a 'slower' way of life (but busier than ever doing and learning new things) - as with you my body is starting to say hey you shouldnt have done that... and sometimes I think when am I going to learn to adjust. I am one of the fortunate ones to have a home with a garden (which I have turned into a mini veg patch since lockdown) and share the allotment with my other half. As you say the allotment has been such amazing bonus, I can go down there and not worry about social distancing with strangers in a park, who have no regard for anyone else. Our allotment grounds is fairly small and we have a mix of people (age, gender and ethnicity), some want to chat, some want to keep to themselves - that is fine, it is our choices to make. Yesterday was my daughters birthday, with the easing of lockdown she was able to come over and have a picnic lunch in safety, all of us keeping our distance under a lovely shaded area, that belongs to an elder resident who has planted trees and made it like your communal area I suppose. I so wanted to give her a big hug, but its great to meet up as well. Anyway my main reason for commenting is, have been watching your videos for about a year and enjoy them immensly, this one certainly rang some bells..... Thank you for taking the time to talk with us, take care of yourself and sending you a virtual hug as well xx
Oh thank you Dawn!.....and I am so happy to hear that you were able to celebrate your daughter's birthday this way...........odd....but still a celebration eh?! Yay! Take care lovely......your slower way of life is probably going to become more busy than ever........but all with things you WANT to do. :-)
Hi vivi, have you thought of listening to audio books whilst gardening, I can listen to them free on BorrowBox app from my library x
I do listen to some at home but when I'm in the garden I prefer to just listen to the natural sounds around me. :-)
Personally I have loved being shielded and will continue to do so until I feel it is safe for me to go out although I have no urge to do so. I am fortunate because I am retired, live alone,
have a garden and there is so much I want to get on with. At 76 I feel I have done everything I wanted to do 'out there'. I too feel that it will slowly get back to how it was sadly.
Here's to us staying in our gardens and our bubbles for as long as we choose! :-)
Oh Vivi, i , like you, am a hugger. I just dont know what i would have done without my kids to hug over this period. I’d probably be locked up.
Oh I'm so glad you've had your kids around to squish! :-)
It is on of the hardest things to accept that ones body is becoming limited - especially when it is an earlier than anticipated curtailment. Also is it an instinctive reaction to appear more capable than one is - i always liken it to a wounded animal that makes out it is ok or goes into hiding. The thing i have learned to my cost is that refusing help and slowly becoming more isolated is not good either. oOneday you wake up and realise that your support circle has got a whole lot less because you have pushed it away so often that they stop asking. It is really a much healthier and stronger thing to ask for help and be able to allow someone that level of intimacy with you. Also maybe look up the pomodoro technique to help you work out a pace to suit you xx
Oh I totally agree lovely......and I am very fortunate to have a wonderful circle of people around me....I would never want to push any of them away. :-)
Between the unusual weather and this virus and everything you have going on in your life, it's completely understandable you would get behind. It will work out but give others the chance to feel good from helping you.
Thank you lovely, I'll try. It has certainly been a bit of a topsy-turvy year so far! :-)
Most of things that you liked about lock down, were things that don't go hand in hand with city life. In the country, there is less traffic, less noise, and less pollution. Vivi, I think you need to move to a small village! It'd suit you. I can picture you in a tiny cottage with a garden around it, and every square inch of it planted, and getting to know all the people in the village.
"In the country, there is less traffic, less noise, and less pollution. "
Unfotunately not. we live in the country and we get swamped with city dwellers every weekend and during the holidays and we are not even living in a particularly typical touristic area. But I second the fact that Vivi needs a little cottage with garden somewhere in the country side.
Ahhhh, yes........but I would also miss all the fabulous stuff about living in a city! ;-)
It's wonderful to be independent Vivi, but we all need help at times, for whatever reason. Imagine what you would feel like if you went in for a big hug and that person stood back and said no? Think about it. Everything should be give and take!!! Bless you
Absolutely. Thank you Pat. :-)
Let us know the suspense is too hard what happened next door I am happy in my bubble too
Hahaha - refurb on a very large old shed......half the roof is off! ;-)
Hi Vivi, I understand what you mean about independence and always saying “no thank you, I got it but I appreciate the offer”. One of my sisters recently told me I was too proud and that it was against our religion, and that’s all I’m going to say about that conversation. ☺️
But being the oldest of 8, it all has to do how one is raised and how one develops as an adult.
Vivi, (“we can learn to adapt”, as you said) the good thing is, you and I HAVE acknowledge that we could use some help and accepting it, doesn’t have to take anything away from us if we don’t let it, on the contrary both parties will benefit instead. 😊
I hope you got your little snooze Vivi ☺️, and until next time dear friend, take good care of yourself.😉💗💗💗
Oh it absolutely doesn't take anything away from us......it's just a tricky adjustment to make.....I'm getting there. ;-)
I do get support from a community nurse every two months,but could do with more
Speak to her/him about it when you next have a visit. X
I’ve had both experiences, total strangers being friendly and some being rude because I choose to wear a mask and they don’t. Unfortunately I’m seeing plenty of small businesses closing for good partly because the small business package the government offered went to big corporations and not where it should have. Of course afterwards there was “oops, that didn’t go so well, let’s do it again” while each side (democrat/republican) blamed each other. Here in the US they call it “staying in place” because heaven forbid they use a strong word like lockdown and step on toes 🤭. Now were re-opening (too soon) and seeing spikes in covid cases. I will continue to work my three days a week in home health, stay in place and wear my mask when I do have to go out. You gave us some good things to think about. I will hug my grandkids first! I Enjoy your chats. Blessings.
Awwww, tha first hug with your grandkids will be SOOOO special........oh, enjoy every squashy second of it! Until then........continue to look after yourselves.... :-)
It is hard to ask for help Vivi especially if we have always been independant, but I ask myself would I do the same for them if they asked? Of course I would! You may be able to help them one day, just some small thing that would make a difference to them. We are in strange times, we are going to stay in lockdown. So many people are flooding the moors and beaches down here in Devon, their complacency is to me frightening. One young woman interviewed on one of the beaches just said she was fed up with listening to it all and was going to ignore the advice. How selfish is that? I am going to stay safe and stay at home and leave space for all those who really do have to go out. Take care lovely xxx
Ugh...some folk are acting crazy...and selfish.......I will leave them to it and stay safe inside my bubble for now.........no matter how much I want to go to the sea and swim! ;-)
It comes to all of us dear! Learn to share the wealth as well as the sorrow! A burden shared is a burden halved. Sorry, I know this sounds trite but is true. You need to portion your strength out. Look at each job and find out the wiser and easier ways to get it done. THe bull at the gate soon wears himself out and often breaks a leg or his spirit! Here endeth the lesson. Blessed be.
Absolutely. Cheers lovely. :-)
I thought about this when you said you didn't know how much longer you could do this. Next time you need all your beds dug over why don't you organise a working bee. Round up half a dozen able bodied friends and or fellow plot holders. Give them a time and day. Lay on some sandwiches, cups of tea and maybe a slice of cake or a biscuit, and get it all done in a morning. Truth be know it will probably only take a few hours and with a group of friends or gardeners you'll probably have great fun doing it with minimal outlay.
Sounds like an excellent idea! Cheers lovely. :-)
Accepting is difficult ,I can never accept my accident
It is hard. :-(
If it's ok for demonstrations to take place, it's ok for you to start getting around. 😊 You can were a mask and go meet them. The rules are not written is stone. It's subjective, unless you don't feel safe yourself to get out. 😊
I'd rather not at the moment. :-)
.
I feel I need more support,so I have to ask
Good on you for asking.....so many folk don't.
I haven’t asked yet
Sorry for the misunderstanding
I saw a person in a dinosaur suit hugging some one,that’s one way without the virus getting in,do you think that’s true
I wouldn't hug anyone at the moment....and probably not a dinosaur either. ;-)
School some going back June 1st ok ❤️🌈🇬🇧☕️🚗☔️🌻🛒😷😎🙃💐🌎🏡☀️🐝🍂🌺💋
I'm sure the kids will be super excited. :-)
First here :)
Hello! :-)