🍀🍀 I like that! I do wonder if the brother really believes in the bad luck or if there is something else going on that makes them maybe not want to host (maybe they now realise it’s too much with a new baby and a 2 year old), but I do like the idea of doing something to ward off the bad luck.
This is not the same situation but my daughter was getting married May 2020 with 160 guests. Three weeks before the wedding the venue cancelled the wedding due to what was happening that year. My daughter and fiancée looked at postponing the wedding but due to uncertainty on when the restrictions would lift and cost they really wanted to get married on the original date. So we found a friend with a beautiful backyard willing to host and the guest list went from 160 to 6 guests, immediate family only. The florist and photographer were willing to do the wedding. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve been too. It was a lot of work but they created wonderful memories they will never forget.
The brother isn't expressing a "boundary" he's going back on a promise. Can almost guarantee that the weird superstition is not the real reason they canceled. But whether it is or not, they shouldn't uninvite the brother unless he keeps causing problems/drama.
Here's the thing: the cancelation seems to be related to the nanny's superstition/religion. There is no indication in the story that it's the brother and SIL's religion. If it was their religion, they would have said no when asked to host. Also, the planning has been going on for a year. Why did it take that long for this whole luck superstition to come up? I think they just changed their minds and are using the nanny/monk's superstition as an excuse.
it sounds like the sil is superstitious though. maybe the nanny got in her head? the brother just seems to be trying to fix the situation so both his sister and his partner are happy.
I think people are assuming the brother is monk due to the fact that when talking about the nanny, op said "who is also monk" not just "who is monk". It is strange to not know this custom but they could be new to the religion or just didnt know every single thing about it. Still really sucks for the brother to do that though. I just assume thats where everyone is coming from about the comments on the nannys religion
Like you said, it's a very small wedding. If she is not ready to look at him, then she shouldn't force herself to invite him... She has 2 months to fix the mess he made. She shouldn't have to also fix this relationship while she already has so much on her plate. This doesn't means she will end her relationship with him. She has every right to take some time off from this....
He is trying to fix it though by helping OP find a new venue (maybe he is not doing a great job, but he is trying), offering to help with resending invitations and amending other arrangements, as well as offering to cover all costs. The brother is willing to do all he can to fix this. Are you suggesting that he is expected to do all this and then not even be allowed to attend the wedding? If OP is going to uninvite him then she cannot expect the brother’s help either.
The problem isnt the superstition, to each their own, the problem is how he agreed to host then pulled the rug out after invites were sent AND this wasn't something that just came up, this kind of belief would have been held for longer than 2 months out. I dont think OP is the Ahole for not wanting the brother there. Just dont explain it being about the venue itself and explain it is about the hurt of being flaked on.
I believe that many people go into these subreddits with a certain kind of mindset and that creates a kind of culture where "being right" is more important than creating a good outcome. I definitely understand the feeling of feeling to want to disinvite the brother, but going from there to actually doing it ... that will escalate the situation and that is not what I would want my wedding to be.
Yeah, I wouldn't be so quick to risk a good family relationship over an isolated incident of unreliability that the brother clearly feels bad about already and is trying to make up for
Agreed. I understand the knee-jerk response; to be honest, I had the same one. But you have to remember this isn't a movie, these are presumably real (assuming the story isn't fake) siblings with a pre-established relationship. He tried his best to make it right. The other piece of this is culturtal. SiL didn't hear this from some internet psychic, but a religious figure she trusts. It seems silly to those outside the belief system, but she appears to sincerely believe. I don't see any indication that she's just a shit-stirrer using this as an excuse.
Like someone else said, I think the nanny is Hmong, which is a southeast Asian indigenous minority, and OP spelled it wrong. A lot of folks are going after this bc of their own baggage with religion and religious authority, specifically Christian. And it’s fine to have that reaction when you’ve been burned by someone weaponizing their religion. But I want to caution folks against saying that these beliefs are ridiculous or made up, etc. bc the Hmong have suffered significant anti-religious persecution using similar arguments. Just because a belief sounds ridiculous to you doesn’t make it less real for the believer
Would I be fricking pissed at my brother but I love him and I can image looking at photos down the road and not have him and his family in them. It's just not worth holding on to that anger when you can just move forward. Remember why you are having a wedding, to affirm your love in front of your loved one.
This!! One of my brother’s may not be at my wedding and the thought of it makes me really sad because not only will he not be there on the day, but I will remember it every time I see the photos. And it’s not even just OP’s brother but also her nephew(s)/nice(s).
Can we create a "No One Sucks Here"? Sometimes things don't align, and everyone is allowed to be upset. I'm sure the brother feels bad (on top of the very real anxiety that a superstition can cause), she feels bad… But he tried to help (financially and logistically), the situation is fixable. I wouldn't want to lose my brother over this, even if I can't stand him for a few weeks
I had to help my daughter change her venue 4 days before the wedding! Guest list was 120+ 2 months is not that big of a deal. I get the emotions, but honestly, life happens. It's best just to roll with things! At least the brother was trying to fix the inconvenience and gave other options.
I have to say, as a frequent watcher of AITA content on this here platform, you are a breath of fresh air! I just found you today but subbed immediately just for your mature and grace-filled responses. I wholeheartedly agree with you on this one
I fully agree with you Jamie! Yea this is a wildly unfortunate situation and even I would be like “I guess this makes sense?” But he’s also trying to turn the monkey wrench he threw at you into a speed bump and I feel like that’s enough to show he fully understands the situation he caused. I get being frustrated but also you’re right it’s a small wedding so moving it really shouldn’t be too hard in a 2 month timeframe. Not inviting them to the wedding because of this is super juvenile and kind of indicative of a lack of maturity in the bride. I wonder if she should be getting married yet at all
This is such a weird story. I am religious, Orthodox Christian, and hosting people at one's home in any capacity or feast is one of the most honorable things you can do and can bring you so much blessing. I know every religion is different but I have never heard of a superstition like this.
Its the … “We’re canceling the wedding because if we have it here we will give you luck and we don’t want that for you.” Like “I love you” but I don’t want to give you blessings as it may decrease my blessings and I don’t love you that much. My god, I am an only child but if I believed in this woo woo and had siblings I would be so happy to bring them luck. Take some of my luck, I love you and want nothing but the best for you. I would give the shirt off my back to my friends, why wouldn’t I share my luck?
I don’t agree with the superstition but I think it should be clarified that the nanny seems to be saying they would be sacrificing all of their own good luck and giving it to the couple; basically they would have bad luck directly as a result of this and terrible things are likely to befall their family. They aren’t selfishly hoarding their good luck, they are trying to avoid disaster for their own family.
Here's a wedding etiquette question, when I was 11 I went to an Aunt's wedding (traditional American), and I told a bridesmaid that I thought she was pretty, and my aunt pulled me aside and told me to never compliment another woman except the bride at a wedding because "every woman is a hag compared to a bride on her wedding day and to imply otherwise is beyond rude." Move one 20 years later and I was a MOH at. Friend's wedding, and she and her bridal party were horrified that I called myself a hag compared to her... was I lied to as a kid?
What your aunt said sounds strange to me! I've definitely told fellow guests that I liked their outfit. I don't think it takes away from the bride's thunder. She's the only person who'll have everyone on their feet when she enters the chapel/hall. I'd like to hear Jamie's thoughts, but that's my two cents.
I think that mentality is really weird. When I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, we were all hyping each other up about how beautiful we all looked. Who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with happy people who feel pretty on their happy day?
As someone said in the comments, I find it hard to believe that this is such a strong belief that the brother's family holds. Why hadn't it come up before? Maybe it's a strong belief now. But if this was a situation they had to consult a religious authority for, they should have done it much earlier.
I don’t think that is necessarily true. I an not inviting my father’s partner, despite first telling her about the wedding and intending to invite her (she saved the date), because my mother will make it an extremely uncomfortable situation and I really do not want to deal with that. I adore my father’s partner and it makes me sad that she won’t be there, but I made the decision based on what I think is least bad in this situation where there is actually no ‘good’ choice (& also discussed it with my father to get his opinion on what I should do). I definitely want my father’s partner in my life and I will try to still do something to make her feel part of the event, maybe invite her to a special celebration dinner or so.
@@s.a.4358 I would say that an open discussion around whether someone should receive an invitation in the first place - especially for reasons not entirely in your control - is different than unilaterally "uninviting someone" who'd previously been welcome. I'm not saying no one could ever come back from that, but it's a fairly nuclear thing to do (in most people's eyes) and it really does send a message that you don't want that person around to such an extent that you're probably done with them. That said, cultural and regional variations in Big Event invitations (and recinding invitations) may lead to different conclusions.
From personal experience brother was 100% influenced by his wife or in laws to not host it. I wouldn't nessarally blame the brother but he needs to learn to stand up to his wife/in laws, promising family something is huge and then going back on it 2 months out is crazy! Id be having a long chat with him to get to the bottom of why he decided this because what he said sounds like an excuse and fake.
My mother in law hosted our wedding. Up to about 3 weeks prior it was uncertain if she would still be with her boyfriend(who owned the property). Thankfully they worked it out for then and we didn’t have to change venues, but it was terrifying to not know. We had idea of backup locations and my husband talked me down from possibly disinviting them.
When the dust settles, I would encourage OP to sit down with their brother to better understand what happened - there are clearly cultural/religious values here that OP has not previously understood. Often if luck can be lost through inauspicious circumstances it can be repaired, regained, or returned through other behaviours. Maybe that would improve the brother’s comfort level (maybe it wont - it is his home and his family after all, so he has every right to set boundaries). I would also, with an abundance of love, query the amount of influence this nanny is having in their family. If this person does not have their best interest in mind, this type of advice could be used to manipulate or coerce the brother’s family (because who wouldn’t to whatever it takes to ensure that their kids and family remain whole and hale!?).
About the Knot's comment, there is a superstition about passing a nun or monk (Christian) being bad luck since they have taken a vow of celibacy and poverty and you would be inviting that into your marriage. Go figure, a lot of old wedding superstitions have to do with babies and money. On another note, I wonder if OP should be mindful of her SIL possibly having Postpartum Anxiety. It may help explain the new weariness to superstitions. I understand it is the brother who said no. However, he could also be feeling some of the same anxieties.
I agree about the possibility of postpartum anxiety or depression, or something else affecting the mental well-being of the new parents. I don’t think father’s get post-partum anxiety but they can definitely feel anxiety about a new baby and large life change. Or the brother could be taking ownership of the decision to support / protect his wife (given that OP is his sister). If the nanny is someone the parents feel a close bond with and that person is telling them repeatedly not to host the wedding, I can definitely imagine that having an impact. Even if someone is not usually superstitious, they can still have thought of “why risk it”. I completely understand OP being upset, but I think a conversation with the new parents about how they are doing (if OP doesn’t feel ready for it, maybe get her parents to do it) would be a good idea.
My sister didn’t invite our ‘brother’ B (by brother I mean he is my dads bffs son who was practically raised with us, we view him as a brother) to her wedding because at our brother C’s wedding B got into a HUGE fight with our dad and his dad because B was being an idiot (normal behaviour for him) and she didn’t want the drama. B was deeply hurt but understood, he was however invited to our other sisters wedding a year later but couldn’t came due to one months notice and it was Christmas Eve. He has learnt his lesson and is now much calmer and doesn’t drink as much, and I will happily invite him to mine. Because I genuinely don’t think he’d act up for me especially since he couldn’t come to my/our other sister’s weddings.
I understand the feeling and impulse to not invite the brother/SIL but I'd take a moment and think through the consequences. In the end I'd probably still invite them but I do understand the impulse.
I think I would be of the same opinion. Obviously I don't know how hard the emotions hit in the moment of getting let down like that, but I agree it seems like the brother didn't have malicious intentions and tried his best to fix it.
(About 10 years ago my brother told me that he did not like me, and that he never had. He is within his rights to not like me. I have suffered many painful losses in my life, but I must admit that this one is like one of those wounds that just won't heal. When something brings it to mind, I simply can't breathe. There is NOTHING I can do to change this state of affairs, I must just accept it. We are civil, and when the opportunity arose for me to help him, I did everything I could do. I also arranged that people from whom he would accept help were in place to help him. I don't believe that anyone can hurt you as much as a sibling. Now, though, I question every relationship. I hesitate to let anyone get to know me well - because I don't know WHY and what if they will be just as disgusted with me as he. I understand that I should be able to let this go and go on to live my best life. Yet, it still hurts.) The brother hurt him. Whatever his reasons (and remember that Rasputin was a monk), he wounded his brother. Even if he welcomes him to the new, improved wedding, there will remain a scar - if not a never healing wound..
the nanny might have gotten to two stressed parents of young kids. no parents would wish bad luck on their children and the stress of their ages might have made them more susceptible to it. it sounds like the brother is trying to fix the damage he is doing to op's wedding, while also keeping his family calm.
It's not weird because of the religion. It's weird that it only came up 2 months before the big event. If it was a strong belief, or if they needed to consult a teacher of their religion to know, they should have done that prior to offering to host. However, I can see where he wouldn't have thought he needed to consult his religious teacher to host an event, so he probably was just sharing the good news when the teacher told him the explications of hosting an event. It's not easy to live by faith especially when others don't share it, but it is good pray to respect others.
it wasnt their religion that believes it. it was the nannies religion. I am guessing the sister in law was on maternity leave and thus they hadnt seen their nanny in a while / it just hadn't come up until now? superstitious people dont necessarily stick to their own religions superstitions, so the sil hearing of this superstition later might have caused the last minute change of mind.
Honestly I appreciate your perspective on these situations more than other RUclipsrs. So many of them are reactionary right along with the redditors in the comments, and are FAR too excited to tell people “be petty and burn bridges”
The moment she said they will be having a baby within a year of the wedding. I would have found a back up. Also with 26 ppl they can go to Peerspace or Airbnb to find another beautiful venue.
I don't know how the bride and groom should feel or react, but seems people are giving so much grace to the Brother. Even though the guest list is small, this is still a terrible thing Brother did.
I have mixed feelings about this one. Yes, it's late notice to find a new venue, and the reasoning seems out of character for the brother, so I can understand why OP is mad at him and stressed out, and I can understand why she doesn't want him there. However, he seems to be trying to help her find a new venue, and I do think she would probably regret excluding him in the future. I also think it's very normal for parents to such young children to be concerned or anxious, especially when they hear or read that something might be harmful for their family, and whether that anxiety makes their actions or decisions OK or not is irrelevant, it doesn't change the fact that the youngest is only 6 months old and that that baby's parents are anxious. They have newfound concerns about hosting, and I'm not sure that that's worth uninviting the brother and his family over. I don't think either side are necessarily in the wrong, but I think it's a difficult situation and there's really no right way to navigate it.
I completely agree with this. I understand OP’s feelings and the stress + anger of this change so close to the date of the wedding. It might even be sadness about not having it at the brother’s place if that was something meaningful to her (another venue might be very pretty but not have the same emotions attached to it). I also understand that the brother and his wife might be very anxious after the arrival of the new baby, feeling overwhelmed, maybe even some postpartum depression. I don’t believe in the superstition but I believe that the brother and sister-in-law may truthfully be worried about it, so to them it is real. I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here because both sides are feeling a lot of stress and emotions. However I do think OP might regret acting on those emotions and not having her brother, sister in law and small nephew(s)/niece(s) at her wedding. She may be very angry now, but maybe that anger will be replaced by regret later. Or maybe it won’t, but it’s a gamble with no possibility of a do-over.
I would uninvite them. They offered this a year ago and waited two months before to rescind the offer based on *checks notes* someone else’s religion. If they didn’t budget for a venue this is a complete wrench being thrown into their plans. He has proven he isn’t someone OP can trust. His word is his bond and he went back on his word for NO reason. Also, you read a comment and said an individual was adding context (when they were just saying there may be another reason) that wasn’t there but then applauded a comment that did JUST that?
He should have talked with his sister one on one, until that happens he has tainted her wedding. Let them come as guests, not a brother and sister in law with no rolls in the wedding.
Intention doesn't really matter. If you offended someone you should apologize whether you meant too or not. Also he could have told his sister much earlier and given her more time to plan...
But there are also Christian monks of several denominations, along with Hinduism, Jainism, and Sikhism. They’re all called monks, so to leave it as simply a “monk” still raises the question.
@@JamieWolfermaybe OP meant Hmong (an ethnic group from east / south-east Asia). I do not know about that specific belief around bad luck hosting someone else’s wedding, but the Hmong do believe in bad spirits and similar things. For example they believed that one should not praise a child’s appearance too much in order not to draw the attention of bad spirits who may harm the child. It’s not too dissimilar to the belief expressed in this post. However I am not very familiar with the Hmong culture, so this is just a guess and I could be completely wrong.
@@s.a.4358 Good point. I don't think anyone's actually a monk. It seems like an autocorrect issue because "who is also monk" doesn't make sense grammatically.
The reason is BS and wonky. He is breaking a promise. I can understand not eanting them there. Because she sounds like she doesnt believe the reason. I would not want a relationship with him after this. Family togetherness is over rated
I think both parties are at fault. The couple shouldn't have asked to use someone elses home for their event. The Brother shouldn't have agreed, if there was any chance he would back out. I don't think uninviting him is the answer, but maybe don't expect him to be able to follow through on big promises. Ultimately he didn't cancel the wedding but his personal beliefs have infringed on your agreement. Personally I would just find a new venue, let him pay and carry on. After the wedding take time and really figure out if its worth having the conversation. It may just fall on deaf ears, which is a waste of your time. But set your boundaries moving forward.
@@tigercomet23 I didnt say backyard weddings aren't common. I said both parties are part of the problem. The couple asked her brother, he didn't offer first. The couple should have had a plan B. Life happens! I am not saying the brother is off the hook or should be trusted to keep your house plant alive. But the couple should have had a back up plan.
I think I’d say to the brother, “I love you. I’m really mad at you right now. If you could help me find another venue, that would be fabulous, but right now, I need some time to cool down.”
I'd absolutely look down on my brother for this if it happened to me but no I probably wouldn't uninvite him. It'd change the relationship dynamic for sure but I wouldn't let that be a contributing factor.
This is weird and so close to the date. I think she is right to uninvite them. It might be a valid reason if they actually subscribed and participated in that religion. But they don't. I would fell lied too and feel like he was trying to manipulate me. I would be hurt and upset. And i would never feel the same about him again. Give me a reason that doesn't sound like a lie and it would be different.
I know, like if the brother had just said that he didn't fully think things through when he made the offer, things would have been a lot different, at least for me.
For the first one, the brother has the right to not hold it in his home. It definitely puts the bride in a rough spot, but especially since he offered to help with costs it sounds like he feels bad and is doing his best to help her out. I can agree that you will be upset with him and she has the right to remove him from her wedding, but it also sounds like you have a good relationship and will make up and that eventually she might regret not having him at her wedding. This sounds like they need a good heart to heart prior to the wedding. Hopefully they can find a good venue Also classic Reddit advice just saying immediately cutting off a sibling
The brother's reason matters not as it is his home Unfortunately, he changed his mind 2 months before the wedding. Allow him to help if he offers to pay for a new venue as I'm certain he feels bad about the whole thing.
By watching this type of videos, I discovered that for a lot of people in the US, showing up in a red dress at a wedding means you are the groom’s side piece and night be thrown out of the wedding. The brother’s family’s beliefs / superstitions are not in any way shape or form stranger than that imho. Just check if he can help make up for the last minute mess that caused and don’t ruin a lifetime relationship for that (stressful but temporary) problem
The only thing that makes me really question the motive behind it being a belief/ religious/ tradition thing, is the ask to host and agreement was 8 months prior, and now suddenly 2 months away it's this horrible problem? Did the brother agree and not discuss with his wife, or did the wife just suddenly learn of this belief, or is there something else going on? I agree, it's not a hill to die on, but I would want to know the true reason behind it only suddenly being revealed.
You're missing it. It was not intended as disrespect is not substantial evidence that it's not disrespectful. It is as disrespectful as if it had been done to mess with the wedding. And given the typical behavior of religious people, the most likely explanation is that this was harassment of religious people against non-religious people.And the comment about the monk was to make it harder to call out.
I agree that OP and fiancée have a right to be upset. I agree that the brother has a right to decide that his house is out, even if the reason is ridiculous. But I think going the nuclear option is a bad idea. Especially since even OP admits the brother wants to help find and pay for a new venue. If this was a constant issue with his brother, always making and then breaking promises, then yes, the nuclear option of disinviting him would be perfectly reasonable. But it appears this is a one off and not a constant issue. So the question is, does OP really think it’s worth it to destroy his relationship with his brother for a one off, that is still fixable? I don’t think it is.
Honestly I don't think it's the right move to uninvite the brother and his family. Yes what they did sucked and isn't okay, but I feel like at the end of the day, if they had a good enough relationship with their brother to ask them to host their wedding, it's not worth it to cut things off because of the cancelation.
I am Muslim. My brother is Muslim. He takes things to an extreme, though. I won't even get into the specifics of what that means, but suffice to say that he has made things difficult for our family and even our extended family on multiple occasions. I can definitely see he pulling a stunt like OP's brother, and potentially ruining a wedding. Even his own! I can see him ruining his own wedding just a few weeks out bc one of his sheiks gave him a piece of information/advice that he hadn't known before, when planning. It's terrible that the brother is canceling this close to the wedding, butif it's not meant as disrespect, and he's doing what he can to fix it, OP shouldn't uninvite him. A wedding is too important. Family is too important. He doesn't want to cancel. He feels like he has to.
Bro, that brother copped out, I bet the wife let the pregnancy hormones get the best of her, and told her husband, I change my mind. He should have been honest. Real talk.
I think this a Humung (not sure about the spelling) a people who came here due to genocide. With their own culture and religion. I am Lakota. We have to balance family members from traditional Lakota to America Taliban style Christians . It's tricky and stressful. Having to sit through weddings where the cult leader gives a 39 minutes long disortation on how no matter how stupid wrong or harmful the husband is the wife must submit. And the abuser husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church. Thank Creator my sister has now divorced that abuser. Sitting through that indoctrination while every fiber in your being wants to run up and free the hostage is just what you do for family. So yes invite the brother and wait it out until he comes to whatever conclusion works for him.
I really hope someone sends this video to the Reddit user! This lady needs a wake up call. Yes, she's hurt, but she's also being hypocritical. She makes of point of saying she's tolerant of different religions but what her post is saying is that she is actually only tolerant of them unless she thinks they are silly or the opinion of that religion inconveniences her.
This totally sucked but don’t ruin an awesome day. My trust in my brother would be trashed and I’d probably never give him this much responsibility/power ever again. But just yelling into the void and moving on is better than ruining the family because of something like this. If he slept with the fiancé, you can go nuclear. Being that he truly thinks he’s doing the right thing for the sake of his family it’s just not deep enough to ruin every family occasion until the end of time.
Damn, theres a lot of people who don't give a damn about other religions..... like I understand if you specifically do not subscribe to a religion and beliefs but COME ON! He sucks a little for being last minute about it but he does seem to be trying.
Maybe his wife is a lil post partum and she is the one really worrying about this superstition. He might be stuck between a rock and hard place and is trying to support both. The nanny shouldve kept it to herself in my opinion. I dont think she should uninvite him but i do think she should express how much it hurt and what aspects of the wedding it really affected. Shes not the ah but if she uninvites her brother out of spite she very well may be
Not wanting to host because you realized much too late that it’s overwhelming makes complete sense. Not wanting to host because you randomly changed your mind, would make you a jerk, but would make complete sense. Not hosting last minute because the NANNY has a superstition, sounds like you’re lying to me.
the brother offered to cover the cost of finding a new venue and even offered to help in the search. no matter what other people think of the reason he gave, the brother totally has the right to believe in what he believes. being butthurt and uninviting his brother shows how much of a manchild OP is as his brother is going over the top to try and fix his reversal. OP IS the a**hole here. forgive your brother and re-invite him to the wedding. that's what brothers do.
I mean, it may be a dumb reason, but it sounds like he did it out of genuine concern, and is trying really hard to fix it... If we don't specify that his reason is superstition, then the situation is that he made a commitment, found out more information later that made him unable to fulfill it, and is doing his best to make it right! I don't understand having so little regard for the relationship that you would be that petty🫤
Up your guest count to 27, invite someone Irish, and tell your brother “The luck of the Irish will cancel out any bad juju from your monk” 😅
🍀🍀 I like that! I do wonder if the brother really believes in the bad luck or if there is something else going on that makes them maybe not want to host (maybe they now realise it’s too much with a new baby and a 2 year old), but I do like the idea of doing something to ward off the bad luck.
You should create, “pour some grace on the situation” merch! It’s such a great concept to live by ❤
This is not the same situation but my daughter was getting married May 2020 with 160 guests. Three weeks before the wedding the venue cancelled the wedding due to what was happening that year. My daughter and fiancée looked at postponing the wedding but due to uncertainty on when the restrictions would lift and cost they really wanted to get married on the original date. So we found a friend with a beautiful backyard willing to host and the guest list went from 160 to 6 guests, immediate family only. The florist and photographer were willing to do the wedding. It was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve been too. It was a lot of work but they created wonderful memories they will never forget.
“Pour Grace all over this situation”. Exquisite advice.
The brother isn't expressing a "boundary" he's going back on a promise. Can almost guarantee that the weird superstition is not the real reason they canceled. But whether it is or not, they shouldn't uninvite the brother unless he keeps causing problems/drama.
Here's the thing: the cancelation seems to be related to the nanny's superstition/religion. There is no indication in the story that it's the brother and SIL's religion. If it was their religion, they would have said no when asked to host.
Also, the planning has been going on for a year. Why did it take that long for this whole luck superstition to come up? I think they just changed their minds and are using the nanny/monk's superstition as an excuse.
Yes! Almost guarantee there is a different reason they wanted to cancel, but they didn't want to say.
it sounds like the sil is superstitious though. maybe the nanny got in her head?
the brother just seems to be trying to fix the situation so both his sister and his partner are happy.
I think people are assuming the brother is monk due to the fact that when talking about the nanny, op said "who is also monk" not just "who is monk".
It is strange to not know this custom but they could be new to the religion or just didnt know every single thing about it.
Still really sucks for the brother to do that though. I just assume thats where everyone is coming from about the comments on the nannys religion
Like you said, it's a very small wedding. If she is not ready to look at him, then she shouldn't force herself to invite him... She has 2 months to fix the mess he made. She shouldn't have to also fix this relationship while she already has so much on her plate. This doesn't means she will end her relationship with him. She has every right to take some time off from this....
He is trying to fix it though by helping OP find a new venue (maybe he is not doing a great job, but he is trying), offering to help with resending invitations and amending other arrangements, as well as offering to cover all costs. The brother is willing to do all he can to fix this. Are you suggesting that he is expected to do all this and then not even be allowed to attend the wedding? If OP is going to uninvite him then she cannot expect the brother’s help either.
I don't think she expects or wants his help. She just wants space away from him and that is valid
I think even if I was in the brother's situation and truly believed it would bring bad luck, I'd still host because I gave my word that I would.
The problem isnt the superstition, to each their own, the problem is how he agreed to host then pulled the rug out after invites were sent AND this wasn't something that just came up, this kind of belief would have been held for longer than 2 months out. I dont think OP is the Ahole for not wanting the brother there. Just dont explain it being about the venue itself and explain it is about the hurt of being flaked on.
Maybe they meant Hmong, an ethnic group in South East Asia
I came here to say this.
Blessed are the peacemakers. 🎉🎉🎉
I believe that many people go into these subreddits with a certain kind of mindset and that creates a kind of culture where "being right" is more important than creating a good outcome.
I definitely understand the feeling of feeling to want to disinvite the brother, but going from there to actually doing it ... that will escalate the situation and that is not what I would want my wedding to be.
Yeah, I wouldn't be so quick to risk a good family relationship over an isolated incident of unreliability that the brother clearly feels bad about already and is trying to make up for
The brother has already done that by proving his word is nothing to be taken seriously and he’s not to be trusted in a serious situation.
Agreed. I understand the knee-jerk response; to be honest, I had the same one. But you have to remember this isn't a movie, these are presumably real (assuming the story isn't fake) siblings with a pre-established relationship. He tried his best to make it right.
The other piece of this is culturtal. SiL didn't hear this from some internet psychic, but a religious figure she trusts. It seems silly to those outside the belief system, but she appears to sincerely believe. I don't see any indication that she's just a shit-stirrer using this as an excuse.
If I think about weddings, I rarely remember where they were but I remember who was there and wasn’t there.
Like someone else said, I think the nanny is Hmong, which is a southeast Asian indigenous minority, and OP spelled it wrong. A lot of folks are going after this bc of their own baggage with religion and religious authority, specifically Christian. And it’s fine to have that reaction when you’ve been burned by someone weaponizing their religion. But I want to caution folks against saying that these beliefs are ridiculous or made up, etc. bc the Hmong have suffered significant anti-religious persecution using similar arguments. Just because a belief sounds ridiculous to you doesn’t make it less real for the believer
Came looking for this comment. I figured they were Hmong as well.
Reddit is definitely full of young people who haven't had to learn the value in healing relationships even though it's difficult
Would I be fricking pissed at my brother but I love him and I can image looking at photos down the road and not have him and his family in them. It's just not worth holding on to that anger when you can just move forward. Remember why you are having a wedding, to affirm your love in front of your loved one.
Well said. OP clearly loves the brother. While this hurts and feels terrible, OP must consider the regret that will surely trickle into the future.
This!! One of my brother’s may not be at my wedding and the thought of it makes me really sad because not only will he not be there on the day, but I will remember it every time I see the photos.
And it’s not even just OP’s brother but also her nephew(s)/nice(s).
Can we create a "No One Sucks Here"? Sometimes things don't align, and everyone is allowed to be upset. I'm sure the brother feels bad (on top of the very real anxiety that a superstition can cause), she feels bad… But he tried to help (financially and logistically), the situation is fixable. I wouldn't want to lose my brother over this, even if I can't stand him for a few weeks
NAH (no a-hole here) is one of the judgments you can use on AITA
I had to help my daughter change her venue 4 days before the wedding! Guest list was 120+
2 months is not that big of a deal. I get the emotions, but honestly, life happens. It's best just to roll with things! At least the brother was trying to fix the inconvenience and gave other options.
I have to say, as a frequent watcher of AITA content on this here platform, you are a breath of fresh air! I just found you today but subbed immediately just for your mature and grace-filled responses. I wholeheartedly agree with you on this one
I agree with Jaime. Invite your brother!
I fully agree with you Jamie! Yea this is a wildly unfortunate situation and even I would be like “I guess this makes sense?” But he’s also trying to turn the monkey wrench he threw at you into a speed bump and I feel like that’s enough to show he fully understands the situation he caused. I get being frustrated but also you’re right it’s a small wedding so moving it really shouldn’t be too hard in a 2 month timeframe. Not inviting them to the wedding because of this is super juvenile and kind of indicative of a lack of maturity in the bride. I wonder if she should be getting married yet at all
This is such a weird story. I am religious, Orthodox Christian, and hosting people at one's home in any capacity or feast is one of the most honorable things you can do and can bring you so much blessing. I know every religion is different but I have never heard of a superstition like this.
Its the …
“We’re canceling the wedding because if we have it here we will give you luck and we don’t want that for you.”
Like “I love you” but I don’t want to give you blessings as it may decrease my blessings and I don’t love you that much.
My god, I am an only child but if I believed in this woo woo and had siblings I would be so happy to bring them luck. Take some of my luck, I love you and want nothing but the best for you. I would give the shirt off my back to my friends, why wouldn’t I share my luck?
I don’t agree with the superstition but I think it should be clarified that the nanny seems to be saying they would be sacrificing all of their own good luck and giving it to the couple; basically they would have bad luck directly as a result of this and terrible things are likely to befall their family. They aren’t selfishly hoarding their good luck, they are trying to avoid disaster for their own family.
@@SuperNerd57that doesn’t justify canceling the venue
@@angierodriguez4729 I wasn't suggesting that it did, only trying to clarify why someone might take such a superstition seriously.
100% agree with Jamie. As my therapist says to be very often… heart posture is very important and should always be considered.
Here's a wedding etiquette question, when I was 11 I went to an Aunt's wedding (traditional American), and I told a bridesmaid that I thought she was pretty, and my aunt pulled me aside and told me to never compliment another woman except the bride at a wedding because "every woman is a hag compared to a bride on her wedding day and to imply otherwise is beyond rude." Move one 20 years later and I was a MOH at. Friend's wedding, and she and her bridal party were horrified that I called myself a hag compared to her... was I lied to as a kid?
What your aunt said sounds strange to me! I've definitely told fellow guests that I liked their outfit. I don't think it takes away from the bride's thunder. She's the only person who'll have everyone on their feet when she enters the chapel/hall. I'd like to hear Jamie's thoughts, but that's my two cents.
I think that mentality is really weird. When I was a bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding, we were all hyping each other up about how beautiful we all looked. Who wouldn’t want to surround themselves with happy people who feel pretty on their happy day?
As someone said in the comments, I find it hard to believe that this is such a strong belief that the brother's family holds. Why hadn't it come up before? Maybe it's a strong belief now. But if this was a situation they had to consult a religious authority for, they should have done it much earlier.
I see it that if you uninvite someone from your wedding that you don't see you close or even worse don't want them in your life anymore.
I don’t think that is necessarily true. I an not inviting my father’s partner, despite first telling her about the wedding and intending to invite her (she saved the date), because my mother will make it an extremely uncomfortable situation and I really do not want to deal with that. I adore my father’s partner and it makes me sad that she won’t be there, but I made the decision based on what I think is least bad in this situation where there is actually no ‘good’ choice (& also discussed it with my father to get his opinion on what I should do). I definitely want my father’s partner in my life and I will try to still do something to make her feel part of the event, maybe invite her to a special celebration dinner or so.
@@s.a.4358 I would say that an open discussion around whether someone should receive an invitation in the first place - especially for reasons not entirely in your control - is different than unilaterally "uninviting someone" who'd previously been welcome. I'm not saying no one could ever come back from that, but it's a fairly nuclear thing to do (in most people's eyes) and it really does send a message that you don't want that person around to such an extent that you're probably done with them.
That said, cultural and regional variations in Big Event invitations (and recinding invitations) may lead to different conclusions.
From personal experience brother was 100% influenced by his wife or in laws to not host it. I wouldn't nessarally blame the brother but he needs to learn to stand up to his wife/in laws, promising family something is huge and then going back on it 2 months out is crazy! Id be having a long chat with him to get to the bottom of why he decided this because what he said sounds like an excuse and fake.
My mother in law hosted our wedding. Up to about 3 weeks prior it was uncertain if she would still be with her boyfriend(who owned the property). Thankfully they worked it out for then and we didn’t have to change venues, but it was terrifying to not know. We had idea of backup locations and my husband talked me down from possibly disinviting them.
I got married 13 years ago, but I love listening to Reddit stories, and your takes were very level-headed. I subscribed. ❤
When the dust settles, I would encourage OP to sit down with their brother to better understand what happened - there are clearly cultural/religious values here that OP has not previously understood. Often if luck can be lost through inauspicious circumstances it can be repaired, regained, or returned through other behaviours. Maybe that would improve the brother’s comfort level (maybe it wont - it is his home and his family after all, so he has every right to set boundaries). I would also, with an abundance of love, query the amount of influence this nanny is having in their family. If this person does not have their best interest in mind, this type of advice could be used to manipulate or coerce the brother’s family (because who wouldn’t to whatever it takes to ensure that their kids and family remain whole and hale!?).
About the Knot's comment, there is a superstition about passing a nun or monk (Christian) being bad luck since they have taken a vow of celibacy and poverty and you would be inviting that into your marriage. Go figure, a lot of old wedding superstitions have to do with babies and money.
On another note, I wonder if OP should be mindful of her SIL possibly having Postpartum Anxiety. It may help explain the new weariness to superstitions. I understand it is the brother who said no. However, he could also be feeling some of the same anxieties.
I agree about the possibility of postpartum anxiety or depression, or something else affecting the mental well-being of the new parents. I don’t think father’s get post-partum anxiety but they can definitely feel anxiety about a new baby and large life change. Or the brother could be taking ownership of the decision to support / protect his wife (given that OP is his sister). If the nanny is someone the parents feel a close bond with and that person is telling them repeatedly not to host the wedding, I can definitely imagine that having an impact. Even if someone is not usually superstitious, they can still have thought of “why risk it”. I completely understand OP being upset, but I think a conversation with the new parents about how they are doing (if OP doesn’t feel ready for it, maybe get her parents to do it) would be a good idea.
Good point! I hadn't considered post-partum anxiety as a factor.
My sister didn’t invite our ‘brother’ B (by brother I mean he is my dads bffs son who was practically raised with us, we view him as a brother) to her wedding because at our brother C’s wedding B got into a HUGE fight with our dad and his dad because B was being an idiot (normal behaviour for him) and she didn’t want the drama.
B was deeply hurt but understood, he was however invited to our other sisters wedding a year later but couldn’t came due to one months notice and it was Christmas Eve. He has learnt his lesson and is now much calmer and doesn’t drink as much, and I will happily invite him to mine.
Because I genuinely don’t think he’d act up for me especially since he couldn’t come to my/our other sister’s weddings.
I understand the feeling and impulse to not invite the brother/SIL but I'd take a moment and think through the consequences. In the end I'd probably still invite them but I do understand the impulse.
I think I would be of the same opinion. Obviously I don't know how hard the emotions hit in the moment of getting let down like that, but I agree it seems like the brother didn't have malicious intentions and tried his best to fix it.
(About 10 years ago my brother told me that he did not like me, and that he never had. He is within his rights to not like me. I have suffered many painful losses in my life, but I must admit that this one is like one of those wounds that just won't heal. When something brings it to mind, I simply can't breathe. There is NOTHING I can do to change this state of affairs, I must just accept it. We are civil, and when the opportunity arose for me to help him, I did everything I could do. I also arranged that people from whom he would accept help were in place to help him. I don't believe that anyone can hurt you as much as a sibling. Now, though, I question every relationship. I hesitate to let anyone get to know me well - because I don't know WHY and what if they will be just as disgusted with me as he. I understand that I should be able to let this go and go on to live my best life. Yet, it still hurts.) The brother hurt him. Whatever his reasons (and remember that Rasputin was a monk), he wounded his brother. Even if he welcomes him to the new, improved wedding, there will remain a scar - if not a never healing wound..
the nanny might have gotten to two stressed parents of young kids.
no parents would wish bad luck on their children and the stress of their ages might have made them more susceptible to it.
it sounds like the brother is trying to fix the damage he is doing to op's wedding, while also keeping his family calm.
I got married 9.5 years ago so i only follow you for these videos and i love your personality
It's not weird because of the religion. It's weird that it only came up 2 months before the big event. If it was a strong belief, or if they needed to consult a teacher of their religion to know, they should have done that prior to offering to host.
However, I can see where he wouldn't have thought he needed to consult his religious teacher to host an event, so he probably was just sharing the good news when the teacher told him the explications of hosting an event.
It's not easy to live by faith especially when others don't share it, but it is good pray to respect others.
it wasnt their religion that believes it. it was the nannies religion. I am guessing the sister in law was on maternity leave and thus they hadnt seen their nanny in a while / it just hadn't come up until now?
superstitious people dont necessarily stick to their own religions superstitions, so the sil hearing of this superstition later might have caused the last minute change of mind.
Honestly I appreciate your perspective on these situations more than other RUclipsrs. So many of them are reactionary right along with the redditors in the comments, and are FAR too excited to tell people “be petty and burn bridges”
You should start a second channel where you just read wedding AITA posts.
The moment she said they will be having a baby within a year of the wedding. I would have found a back up. Also with 26 ppl they can go to Peerspace or Airbnb to find another beautiful venue.
I don't know how the bride and groom should feel or react, but seems people are giving so much grace to the Brother. Even though the guest list is small, this is still a terrible thing Brother did.
I have mixed feelings about this one. Yes, it's late notice to find a new venue, and the reasoning seems out of character for the brother, so I can understand why OP is mad at him and stressed out, and I can understand why she doesn't want him there. However, he seems to be trying to help her find a new venue, and I do think she would probably regret excluding him in the future. I also think it's very normal for parents to such young children to be concerned or anxious, especially when they hear or read that something might be harmful for their family, and whether that anxiety makes their actions or decisions OK or not is irrelevant, it doesn't change the fact that the youngest is only 6 months old and that that baby's parents are anxious. They have newfound concerns about hosting, and I'm not sure that that's worth uninviting the brother and his family over. I don't think either side are necessarily in the wrong, but I think it's a difficult situation and there's really no right way to navigate it.
I completely agree with this. I understand OP’s feelings and the stress + anger of this change so close to the date of the wedding. It might even be sadness about not having it at the brother’s place if that was something meaningful to her (another venue might be very pretty but not have the same emotions attached to it). I also understand that the brother and his wife might be very anxious after the arrival of the new baby, feeling overwhelmed, maybe even some postpartum depression. I don’t believe in the superstition but I believe that the brother and sister-in-law may truthfully be worried about it, so to them it is real. I don’t think anyone is in the wrong here because both sides are feeling a lot of stress and emotions. However I do think OP might regret acting on those emotions and not having her brother, sister in law and small nephew(s)/niece(s) at her wedding. She may be very angry now, but maybe that anger will be replaced by regret later. Or maybe it won’t, but it’s a gamble with no possibility of a do-over.
I would uninvite them. They offered this a year ago and waited two months before to rescind the offer based on *checks notes* someone else’s religion. If they didn’t budget for a venue this is a complete wrench being thrown into their plans.
He has proven he isn’t someone OP can trust. His word is his bond and he went back on his word for NO reason.
Also, you read a comment and said an individual was adding context (when they were just saying there may be another reason) that wasn’t there but then applauded a comment that did JUST that?
"Voodoo bullshit" voodoo continues to get disrespected. Asking the "atheist edge lord" website reddit to respect beliefs is a biiig ask
He should have talked with his sister one on one, until that happens he has tainted her wedding. Let them come as guests, not a brother and sister in law with no rolls in the wedding.
Intention doesn't really matter. If you offended someone you should apologize whether you meant too or not. Also he could have told his sister much earlier and given her more time to plan...
For Jamie's education, and anyone else who isn't aware. A monk typically refers to a male buddhist. Females in Buddhism have a different name.
But there are also Christian monks of several denominations, along with Hinduism, Jainism, and Sikhism. They’re all called monks, so to leave it as simply a “monk” still raises the question.
@@JamieWolfermaybe OP meant Hmong (an ethnic group from east / south-east Asia). I do not know about that specific belief around bad luck hosting someone else’s wedding, but the Hmong do believe in bad spirits and similar things. For example they believed that one should not praise a child’s appearance too much in order not to draw the attention of bad spirits who may harm the child. It’s not too dissimilar to the belief expressed in this post. However I am not very familiar with the Hmong culture, so this is just a guess and I could be completely wrong.
@@s.a.4358 Good point. I don't think anyone's actually a monk. It seems like an autocorrect issue because "who is also monk" doesn't make sense grammatically.
@@SapphirePrimrose true, and a monk being a nanny / childminder is also odd.
The reason is BS and wonky. He is breaking a promise. I can understand not eanting them there. Because she sounds like she doesnt believe the reason. I would not want a relationship with him after this. Family togetherness is over rated
I think both parties are at fault. The couple shouldn't have asked to use someone elses home for their event. The Brother shouldn't have agreed, if there was any chance he would back out. I don't think uninviting him is the answer, but maybe don't expect him to be able to follow through on big promises. Ultimately he didn't cancel the wedding but his personal beliefs have infringed on your agreement. Personally I would just find a new venue, let him pay and carry on. After the wedding take time and really figure out if its worth having the conversation. It may just fall on deaf ears, which is a waste of your time. But set your boundaries moving forward.
Shouldn’t have asked to use someone else’s home? Backyard weddings are not uncommon, and this is an immediate family member.
@@tigercomet23 I didnt say backyard weddings aren't common. I said both parties are part of the problem. The couple asked her brother, he didn't offer first. The couple should have had a plan B. Life happens! I am not saying the brother is off the hook or should be trusted to keep your house plant alive. But the couple should have had a back up plan.
I think I’d say to the brother, “I love you. I’m really mad at you right now. If you could help me find another venue, that would be fabulous, but right now, I need some time to cool down.”
I'd absolutely look down on my brother for this if it happened to me but no I probably wouldn't uninvite him. It'd change the relationship dynamic for sure but I wouldn't let that be a contributing factor.
This is weird and so close to the date. I think she is right to uninvite them. It might be a valid reason if they actually subscribed and participated in that religion. But they don't. I would fell lied too and feel like he was trying to manipulate me. I would be hurt and upset. And i would never feel the same about him again. Give me a reason that doesn't sound like a lie and it would be different.
I know, like if the brother had just said that he didn't fully think things through when he made the offer, things would have been a lot different, at least for me.
For the first one, the brother has the right to not hold it in his home. It definitely puts the bride in a rough spot, but especially since he offered to help with costs it sounds like he feels bad and is doing his best to help her out. I can agree that you will be upset with him and she has the right to remove him from her wedding, but it also sounds like you have a good relationship and will make up and that eventually she might regret not having him at her wedding. This sounds like they need a good heart to heart prior to the wedding. Hopefully they can find a good venue
Also classic Reddit advice just saying immediately cutting off a sibling
The brother's reason matters not as it is his home Unfortunately, he changed his mind 2 months before the wedding. Allow him to help if he offers to pay for a new venue as I'm certain he feels bad about the whole thing.
By watching this type of videos, I discovered that for a lot of people in the US, showing up in a red dress at a wedding means you are the groom’s side piece and night be thrown out of the wedding. The brother’s family’s beliefs / superstitions are not in any way shape or form stranger than that imho. Just check if he can help make up for the last minute mess that caused and don’t ruin a lifetime relationship for that (stressful but temporary) problem
I don’t know a single conservative that believes this weirdness 😂 this does not sound conservative to me
The only thing that makes me really question the motive behind it being a belief/ religious/ tradition thing, is the ask to host and agreement was 8 months prior, and now suddenly 2 months away it's this horrible problem? Did the brother agree and not discuss with his wife, or did the wife just suddenly learn of this belief, or is there something else going on?
I agree, it's not a hill to die on, but I would want to know the true reason behind it only suddenly being revealed.
You're missing it. It was not intended as disrespect is not substantial evidence that it's not disrespectful. It is as disrespectful as if it had been done to mess with the wedding. And given the typical behavior of religious people, the most likely explanation is that this was harassment of religious people against non-religious people.And the comment about the monk was to make it harder to call out.
I agree that OP and fiancée have a right to be upset. I agree that the brother has a right to decide that his house is out, even if the reason is ridiculous. But I think going the nuclear option is a bad idea. Especially since even OP admits the brother wants to help find and pay for a new venue.
If this was a constant issue with his brother, always making and then breaking promises, then yes, the nuclear option of disinviting him would be perfectly reasonable.
But it appears this is a one off and not a constant issue. So the question is, does OP really think it’s worth it to destroy his relationship with his brother for a one off, that is still fixable? I don’t think it is.
The brother is mainly in the wrong and but over 20 guest it’s easy to fine something but like it said it will be stressful
May I request timestamps on these videos? ❤
Honestly I don't think it's the right move to uninvite the brother and his family. Yes what they did sucked and isn't okay, but I feel like at the end of the day, if they had a good enough relationship with their brother to ask them to host their wedding, it's not worth it to cut things off because of the cancelation.
I am Muslim. My brother is Muslim. He takes things to an extreme, though. I won't even get into the specifics of what that means, but suffice to say that he has made things difficult for our family and even our extended family on multiple occasions. I can definitely see he pulling a stunt like OP's brother, and potentially ruining a wedding. Even his own! I can see him ruining his own wedding just a few weeks out bc one of his sheiks gave him a piece of information/advice that he hadn't known before, when planning.
It's terrible that the brother is canceling this close to the wedding, butif it's not meant as disrespect, and he's doing what he can to fix it, OP shouldn't uninvite him. A wedding is too important. Family is too important. He doesn't want to cancel. He feels like he has to.
Bro, that brother copped out, I bet the wife let the pregnancy hormones get the best of her, and told her husband, I change my mind. He should have been honest. Real talk.
I think this a Humung (not sure about the spelling) a people who came here due to genocide. With their own culture and religion. I am Lakota. We have to balance family members from traditional Lakota to America Taliban style Christians . It's tricky and stressful. Having to sit through weddings where the cult leader gives a 39 minutes long disortation on how no matter how stupid wrong or harmful the husband is the wife must submit. And the abuser husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church. Thank Creator my sister has now divorced that abuser. Sitting through that indoctrination while every fiber in your being wants to run up and free the hostage is just what you do for family. So yes invite the brother and wait it out until he comes to whatever conclusion works for him.
I really hope someone sends this video to the Reddit user!
This lady needs a wake up call. Yes, she's hurt, but she's also being hypocritical. She makes of point of saying she's tolerant of different religions but what her post is saying is that she is actually only tolerant of them unless she thinks they are silly or the opinion of that religion inconveniences her.
This totally sucked but don’t ruin an awesome day. My trust in my brother would be trashed and I’d probably never give him this much responsibility/power ever again. But just yelling into the void and moving on is better than ruining the family because of something like this. If he slept with the fiancé, you can go nuclear. Being that he truly thinks he’s doing the right thing for the sake of his family it’s just not deep enough to ruin every family occasion until the end of time.
Damn, theres a lot of people who don't give a damn about other religions..... like I understand if you specifically do not subscribe to a religion and beliefs but COME ON! He sucks a little for being last minute about it but he does seem to be trying.
Maybe his wife is a lil post partum and she is the one really worrying about this superstition. He might be stuck between a rock and hard place and is trying to support both. The nanny shouldve kept it to herself in my opinion. I dont think she should uninvite him but i do think she should express how much it hurt and what aspects of the wedding it really affected. Shes not the ah but if she uninvites her brother out of spite she very well may be
Not wanting to host because you realized much too late that it’s overwhelming makes complete sense. Not wanting to host because you randomly changed your mind, would make you a jerk, but would make complete sense. Not hosting last minute because the NANNY has a superstition, sounds like you’re lying to me.
Not to worry, internet strangers are wishing curses upon his household on your behalf
the brother offered to cover the cost of finding a new venue and even offered to help in the search. no matter what other people think of the reason he gave, the brother totally has the right to believe in what he believes. being butthurt and uninviting his brother shows how much of a manchild OP is as his brother is going over the top to try and fix his reversal. OP IS the a**hole here. forgive your brother and re-invite him to the wedding. that's what brothers do.
First?! 😊
Love the video but I would refrain from saying “this just got weird” in regard to people’s religious practices.
Religious beliefs can be weird.
I mean, it may be a dumb reason, but it sounds like he did it out of genuine concern, and is trying really hard to fix it...
If we don't specify that his reason is superstition, then the situation is that he made a commitment, found out more information later that made him unable to fulfill it, and is doing his best to make it right!
I don't understand having so little regard for the relationship that you would be that petty🫤