I hear you, man. I get similar "waves" of depression and have found that structuring my day really helps. It's something I'm not naturally good at, so it takes effort, but it almost always makes things better. I've also noticed that "negotiating" with myself (either the night before or right before getting up) on what I could realistically do the next day/today helps me. It's different from just me beating myself up for being useless and listing all the things I didn't do again and makes me treat myself with more respect. This whole thing is actually something I got from Jordan Peterson and I'd never thought of doing it like that, but it's surprisingly helpful. You basically go "What could I actively do to make today a little less bad than yesterday? Maybe I could get started with this one small thing...". And then, as soon as you can scratch that one thing off the list (and I do make physical lists), you feel like much less of a useless piece of garbage and are more likely to tackle other things. And even if you don't get much done beyond that - at the end of the day, you can still tell yourself that you did this one thing and that's way better than nothing. When I'm really down, every little bit helps. That's why I now start my days by doing at least some of the dishes. I tell myself that I'll do "this one portion" and suddenly, I find myself cleaning all of them. That's often the one thing I need to feel more productive. Another thing that helps is having responsibilities that go beyond me as a person. I have a bird and if I don't do certain things, she could not only go hungry but also become unhappy herself. And that's something I absolutely want to avoid. Shouldering as much responsibility as you can and realizing that you can handle it is also immensely satisfying in its own right, if that makes any sense. I don't know if you have a pet, but that's my personal experience. It's really not much, but somehow it is. I've been watching you ever since your Roy Mustang video (who, along with Hawkeye, is my favorite FMA character) and I'm really enjoying your analytical videos that go in a similar direction. I was honestly surprised that there weren't other videos on him out there because he's such an interesting character. FMA in general is densely packed with stuff that could be analyzed and I often wonder why there isn't more of it on youtube. Granted, the few in-depth analyses I've seen are really good, but with how old the series is, I was expecting way more. I only got into the show fairly recently and was a little disappointed when I couldn't dive into it more after finishing it the way we can with lots of other fandoms nowadays. Maybe its age is part of the reason why there's such a dearth of videos? I don't know. Either way, it makes me happy that your video on Mustang exists.
A suggestion to think about, the "I feel so much less funny than I am in real life" and the rest of that bit, and the feeding of crowd energy ("staring into a black lens"). Have you considered a live format, podcast/streaming sort of thing? It might prevent you from overthinking your editing which would make you feel like you are being more genuine and you can get the live reaction that would fuel you.
Personally I don't go to therapy or use "brain drugs" largely because therapists have never been useful for me (and I've spent so much time analyzing them that I can play therapist for myself when I need to) and I don't want to develop any kind of "dependency" on some external in order to get stuff done. However I also have depression and felt the same way about the lack of progress on my personal projects, so I came up with a plan. 1: Every day I take the number of hours I've been awake for, double them, and then do that many squats just before bed. It's almost always somewhere in the mid 30's, which isn't that much, but it's fast and easy enough to do that I can consistently make myself do it, which is the important part (my actual job has me pretty physically active anyway, so this is just something to keep me active on the days where I'm not forced to go outside). 2: I've blocked out 2 hours per day (6pm to 8pm) in which I need to get at least 1 hour of work done. I used to put in way more effort on my personal project, but since last summer I started slacking and I couldn't get myself to want to work on it, but also hated how I wasn't working on it and was just subsisting. So now I do this, and most days I get pretty close. Working for a long time straight is difficult for me (I think I have undiagnosed ADD, my mother and sister both have it much worse than me but I recognize a bit of myself in those habits of theirs), so allowing for time to distract myself with nonsense like people playing LoL or just listening to a song I like is really helpful. I plan on increasing how much time I spend "Working" as I get more and more consistent at it (and find times where I can mostly guarantee that I get to do it uninterrupted), and once I'm at a pace I'm happy with I'll allow myself to play whatever I want outside of that work time without guilt tripping myself. I started doing the first thing around December and while I've missed a few days, I've been doing most of them, which feels good. I started doing the second thing around 3 weeks ago (it's the latest in many attempts at trying to get X amount of work done per day) and while I haven't hit 60 minutes every day and I've skipped a few days (only twice out of pure laziness, the others because I had people over or was bumrushing KH3 before the internet inevitably spoiled it for me) I've hit 50+ minutes consistently, which is WAY better than the 5ish minutes per day I was averaging before. - Turns out humans, especially us brainy types, really benefit from a consistent structure. One of the hardest parts of learning to be an adult is leaving the structure society had "forced" you into and learning to make your own that works for your goals and purposes instead of just subsisting and going with the flow. Good luck to you and your endeavors, I eagerly await your future videos regardless of how many we get and how long it takes to make them.
Hey sorry it took me so long to respond. You obviously took a lot of time making this comment so I wanted to wait till I had time to give it the attention it deserves. It's really cool to see your plan and that you're making progress. It's important to keep pushing yourself but I've learned that if you ask too much of yourself too fast it's easy to get discouraged. I would really encourage you to get into some sort of both strength training and cardio. Both these activities give you a loooooottttt of good brain chemicals. Especially if you start small it's quite easy to make quick progress in weight lifting and running and on top of making your body stronger (which is encouraging in itself) it gives you an avenue to keep improving in even if your creative and financial avenues aren't improving and can thus be very encouraging. One thing I've figured out recently is the difference between "work" work and creative work, and I think they need to be approached differently. For instance when you study for high school and college they teach you to say study for 30 minutes and then take a quick break before getting back to it. Jobs are also like that you have to pace yourself. Creative work is not like that. I've learned that (at least for me but I've heard this from others as well) if you want to get stuff done you have to work in nonstop. You have to force yourself to slow down, clear out everything else, and just do it (for however long your session is). I think that the ability to consistently find and stay in that zone is what seperates an amateaur from a professional, and I would very much like to be a professional. Anyway it was really nice to read about your plans. I hope to see you in the comment section in the future. P.S. I watched your video of you perfecting The Edge. Cool stuff. I just got into Furi myself and I have a Lot to work on.
Hey Wyatt, I just found your videos, and I find you funny. You're not boring, and you have a talent for critical analysis. Also, I really enjoyed your video about Roy Mustang :3. Anyways I hope you're doing better.
Thank you so much. I'm really proud of the Mustang video. It's great that you enjoyed it. I am doing a lot better for reasons that will become clear soon. Videos will hopefully return before the end of the year. I hope you enjoy those as well. Have a great day.
@@wyattthewordweaver1992 That's great, I'm so glad you're doing better. Anyways I'm subbed, so I eagerly await your triumphant return heh. And right back atcha have a good one :D.
@@wyattthewordweaver1992 most definitely, you were kinda everywhere, but most thoughts require you to go everywhere in order for them to be properly humanely articulates. Does this mean no more videos?
@@alexmalaba30 I actually finished a script today! Videos will come back hopefully by mid September (even though I really gotta stop making promises at this point). I would have been back three months ago but I ran into a lot of technical problems, but rest assured I will never quit the game.
I hear you, man. I get similar "waves" of depression and have found that structuring my day really helps. It's something I'm not naturally good at, so it takes effort, but it almost always makes things better. I've also noticed that "negotiating" with myself (either the night before or right before getting up) on what I could realistically do the next day/today helps me. It's different from just me beating myself up for being useless and listing all the things I didn't do again and makes me treat myself with more respect. This whole thing is actually something I got from Jordan Peterson and I'd never thought of doing it like that, but it's surprisingly helpful. You basically go "What could I actively do to make today a little less bad than yesterday? Maybe I could get started with this one small thing...". And then, as soon as you can scratch that one thing off the list (and I do make physical lists), you feel like much less of a useless piece of garbage and are more likely to tackle other things. And even if you don't get much done beyond that - at the end of the day, you can still tell yourself that you did this one thing and that's way better than nothing. When I'm really down, every little bit helps. That's why I now start my days by doing at least some of the dishes. I tell myself that I'll do "this one portion" and suddenly, I find myself cleaning all of them. That's often the one thing I need to feel more productive.
Another thing that helps is having responsibilities that go beyond me as a person. I have a bird and if I don't do certain things, she could not only go hungry but also become unhappy herself. And that's something I absolutely want to avoid. Shouldering as much responsibility as you can and realizing that you can handle it is also immensely satisfying in its own right, if that makes any sense. I don't know if you have a pet, but that's my personal experience. It's really not much, but somehow it is.
I've been watching you ever since your Roy Mustang video (who, along with Hawkeye, is my favorite FMA character) and I'm really enjoying your analytical videos that go in a similar direction. I was honestly surprised that there weren't other videos on him out there because he's such an interesting character. FMA in general is densely packed with stuff that could be analyzed and I often wonder why there isn't more of it on youtube. Granted, the few in-depth analyses I've seen are really good, but with how old the series is, I was expecting way more. I only got into the show fairly recently and was a little disappointed when I couldn't dive into it more after finishing it the way we can with lots of other fandoms nowadays. Maybe its age is part of the reason why there's such a dearth of videos? I don't know. Either way, it makes me happy that your video on Mustang exists.
A suggestion to think about, the "I feel so much less funny than I am in real life" and the rest of that bit, and the feeding of crowd energy ("staring into a black lens"). Have you considered a live format, podcast/streaming sort of thing? It might prevent you from overthinking your editing which would make you feel like you are being more genuine and you can get the live reaction that would fuel you.
Personally I don't go to therapy or use "brain drugs" largely because therapists have never been useful for me (and I've spent so much time analyzing them that I can play therapist for myself when I need to) and I don't want to develop any kind of "dependency" on some external in order to get stuff done. However I also have depression and felt the same way about the lack of progress on my personal projects, so I came up with a plan.
1: Every day I take the number of hours I've been awake for, double them, and then do that many squats just before bed. It's almost always somewhere in the mid 30's, which isn't that much, but it's fast and easy enough to do that I can consistently make myself do it, which is the important part (my actual job has me pretty physically active anyway, so this is just something to keep me active on the days where I'm not forced to go outside).
2: I've blocked out 2 hours per day (6pm to 8pm) in which I need to get at least 1 hour of work done. I used to put in way more effort on my personal project, but since last summer I started slacking and I couldn't get myself to want to work on it, but also hated how I wasn't working on it and was just subsisting. So now I do this, and most days I get pretty close. Working for a long time straight is difficult for me (I think I have undiagnosed ADD, my mother and sister both have it much worse than me but I recognize a bit of myself in those habits of theirs), so allowing for time to distract myself with nonsense like people playing LoL or just listening to a song I like is really helpful.
I plan on increasing how much time I spend "Working" as I get more and more consistent at it (and find times where I can mostly guarantee that I get to do it uninterrupted), and once I'm at a pace I'm happy with I'll allow myself to play whatever I want outside of that work time without guilt tripping myself.
I started doing the first thing around December and while I've missed a few days, I've been doing most of them, which feels good. I started doing the second thing around 3 weeks ago (it's the latest in many attempts at trying to get X amount of work done per day) and while I haven't hit 60 minutes every day and I've skipped a few days (only twice out of pure laziness, the others because I had people over or was bumrushing KH3 before the internet inevitably spoiled it for me) I've hit 50+ minutes consistently, which is WAY better than the 5ish minutes per day I was averaging before.
-
Turns out humans, especially us brainy types, really benefit from a consistent structure. One of the hardest parts of learning to be an adult is leaving the structure society had "forced" you into and learning to make your own that works for your goals and purposes instead of just subsisting and going with the flow.
Good luck to you and your endeavors, I eagerly await your future videos regardless of how many we get and how long it takes to make them.
Hey sorry it took me so long to respond. You obviously took a lot of time making this comment so I wanted to wait till I had time to give it the attention it deserves.
It's really cool to see your plan and that you're making progress. It's important to keep pushing yourself but I've learned that if you ask too much of yourself too fast it's easy to get discouraged.
I would really encourage you to get into some sort of both strength training and cardio. Both these activities give you a loooooottttt of good brain chemicals.
Especially if you start small it's quite easy to make quick progress in weight lifting and running and on top of making your body stronger (which is encouraging in itself) it gives you an avenue to keep improving in even if your creative and financial avenues aren't improving and can thus be very encouraging.
One thing I've figured out recently is the difference between "work" work and creative work, and I think they need to be approached differently.
For instance when you study for high school and college they teach you to say study for 30 minutes and then take a quick break before getting back to it. Jobs are also like that you have to pace yourself.
Creative work is not like that. I've learned that (at least for me but I've heard this from others as well) if you want to get stuff done you have to work in nonstop. You have to force yourself to slow down, clear out everything else, and just do it (for however long your session is). I think that the ability to consistently find and stay in that zone is what seperates an amateaur from a professional, and I would very much like to be a professional.
Anyway it was really nice to read about your plans. I hope to see you in the comment section in the future.
P.S. I watched your video of you perfecting The Edge. Cool stuff. I just got into Furi myself and I have a Lot to work on.
Hey Wyatt, I just found your videos, and I find you funny. You're not boring, and you have a talent for critical analysis. Also, I really enjoyed your video about Roy Mustang :3. Anyways I hope you're doing better.
Thank you so much. I'm really proud of the Mustang video. It's great that you enjoyed it. I am doing a lot better for reasons that will become clear soon. Videos will hopefully return before the end of the year. I hope you enjoy those as well. Have a great day.
@@wyattthewordweaver1992 That's great, I'm so glad you're doing better. Anyways I'm subbed, so I eagerly await your triumphant return heh. And right back atcha have a good one :D.
I believe in you dude
That's nice.
Also i'm sorry i'm late responding becasue i forgot there are people who care about these videos now
Good luck man
thanks. Sorry i took me a while to respond i passed out right after posting and also forgot there are people who care about this channel now.
I think a lot of people hate this month
dude, i can so relate. is this adulthood?
maybe Alexander maybe, but you can move past anything. For example now I don't even really remember what this video is about.
@@wyattthewordweaver1992 most definitely, you were kinda everywhere, but most thoughts require you to go everywhere in order for them to be properly humanely articulates. Does this mean no more videos?
Oh and thanks for replying!!
@@alexmalaba30 I actually finished a script today! Videos will come back hopefully by mid September (even though I really gotta stop making promises at this point). I would have been back three months ago but I ran into a lot of technical problems, but rest assured I will never quit the game.
@@alexmalaba30 also thank you
Febuary is my birthday and no one gives a shit about it.
Hope you had a good birthday I live inside your house.
Also that's an interesting playlist you got there.