I opted to go military radio silence instead of no contact. I block, deleted and even when to my postal off letting them know not to send me any mail or packages from my ex mailing address. Once someone opts to discard you to avoid conversations, you have to respect yourself to devalue them and feel pity on them for missing out on one amazing person they had in their life. Almost 6 weeks of radio silence. Working on myself.
Coach Ryan, before I found your channel I thought nobody understood my pain…. But your videos give me strength and closure. Thank you very much. I don’t know what would I do without you
61 days of No Contact here. It's unbelievably hard and just heartbreaking sometimes. But I absolutely REFUSE to beg for him to take me back after the viciously cruel discard he pulled.
I am around 100 days of no contact and it’s got real easy now. I wouldn’t have her back now even if she reached out, not a chance. The difference here though is that I dumped her before she could dump me, I was wise to what was going on after she shut down emotionally for the first time. That would have been a major shock to her. Still very hard those first couple of months regardless because it was a really lovely relationship up till then. Stick with it and never never never break no contact
@@cspace1234nz it's fun - i'm like you, but i let her hoover. it's wild how its really up to us - if you go no contact they wont give af....so by fun I mean hell and I need to stop.
@@bulldog1080p …yeah well I was married to one for 12 years many years ago and to this day she lives in regret, has not had any decent kind of relationship since and is growing increasingly bitter with herself as she grows older. I actually believe this latest one will be all the more so, in fact, several times she had said ours was the “relationship she had always dreamed of”. I have a really awesome life and I brought both these avoidants in to share in that, just that they can go there, it’s too much for them, too good. We have to be able to self reflect, take personal responsibility and ‘do the work’, if not they have to pay the price.
I wrote him 11 pages of letter on Valentine’s Day, the day I filed divorce. It’s closure letter. But nothing from him, he betrayed in front of the world that I am the one who is the problem! He acted as he didn’t know why I was divorcing him, I understand he’s too weak to be accountable and responsible of his own insecurity! Shame on him!!
@@feelsb4reals_based on what she said, he’s a weak, needy, insecure guy who lost (or never had) his masculine, he never truly listened or fully understood her, he didn’t fully get that women are emotional and you can’t argue with them, and you have to be a leader. My guess is her attraction kept dropping and dropping to the point where she loves him, but can’t be with him anymore. Hey I could be wrong (but in the ballpark).
No contact is really hard early on. I found it counter to every emotion I was grappling with why my perfect soul mate deactivated me out of the blue (slow fade), monkey branched to a narc (her description) which then was the start of the breadcrumbing. But give no contact time... and it really has worked for me. My ex DA lives in the same apartment block as I do which made all this just so much harder. But after 18 months of following advice ... my life is just SO much better than it was in the labyrinth of confusion that a relationship with a DA actually is. No contact lets you step far enough back to see just how dark the forest that a relationship with a DA actually is... even though close up when you are in it some of the trees can look very nice.
I heard a great saying that sums up my brutal experience with a DA... "I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what's in it that I can't see." Thank you Coach Ryan for bringing me the light.
Mine likes to make up accusations call the cops get a no contact order then get mad when I wont violate it. In her mind I’ve abandoned and discarded her.
Hi all viewers... after 3 months of no contact (he abruptely discarded me, 3rd party). But then second shock. He contacted me "you left not me..".I wish there was a medical treatme for the avoidants.Sometimes I feel sorry for them 🌻
OR A FRIENDSHIP! A friend turned situationship then turned ex friend despite all the effort and love in the world is the worst thing I’ve ever been through Never again no more dismissive avoidants
What if she broke up with me because she was aware her actions were hurting me? And she did start to get therapy and help? Is this is sign for a future? I feel like its harder to accept the break up as she broke it because she cared and just wasn't in a place to show it the way I deserve. I'm praying this is a bigger factor of us getting back together day but it can't be guaranteed. And that's part my own fears and anxieties I need to work on.
Right!? A friend of mine is going to start sharing her journey of working with an avoidant ex and other helpful advice. Stay tuned for more of her content, she'll be posting other videos soon: ruclips.net/video/9d2f59787o4/видео.htmlsi=_zezJr28sywnlZk1
My ex was the sweetest man I knew. I had a lot of pain I was carrying and we argued a lot. But the break up I didn't see coming. We both cried but he said he didn't see a future, and doesnt see me romantically is he an avoidant? 8 weeks nc i moss him so much
Because you argued a lot I'm gonna say no, he fought for you even though it seemed the opposite, my avoidant ex would shut down in a RARE confrontation
@@AP-vn7fm sometimes we feel bad for leaving a good person who isnt what were looking for, not that your not good , but that that's not what there ready for , like me I'm assuming your loyal, looking for something serious, some sadly arent ready I've learned the hard way..
I opted to go military radio silence instead of no contact. I block, deleted and even when to my postal off letting them know not to send me any mail or packages from my ex mailing address. Once someone opts to discard you to avoid conversations, you have to respect yourself to devalue them and feel pity on them for missing out on one amazing person they had in their life. Almost 6 weeks of radio silence. Working on myself.
Coach Ryan, before I found your channel I thought nobody understood my pain…. But your videos give me strength and closure. Thank you very much. I don’t know what would I do without you
Keep going Harold! Closing of one door leads to opening of MANY better ones
61 days of No Contact here. It's unbelievably hard and just heartbreaking sometimes. But I absolutely REFUSE to beg for him to take me back after the viciously cruel discard he pulled.
I am around 100 days of no contact and it’s got real easy now. I wouldn’t have her back now even if she reached out, not a chance. The difference here though is that I dumped her before she could dump me, I was wise to what was going on after she shut down emotionally for the first time. That would have been a major shock to her. Still very hard those first couple of months regardless because it was a really lovely relationship up till then. Stick with it and never never never break no contact
@@cspace1234nz it's fun - i'm like you, but i let her hoover. it's wild how its really up to us - if you go no contact they wont give af....so by fun I mean hell and I need to stop.
@@bulldog1080p …yeah well I was married to one for 12 years many years ago and to this day she lives in regret, has not had any decent kind of relationship since and is growing increasingly bitter with herself as she grows older. I actually believe this latest one will be all the more so, in fact, several times she had said ours was the “relationship she had always dreamed of”.
I have a really awesome life and I brought both these avoidants in to share in that, just that they can go there, it’s too much for them, too good.
We have to be able to self reflect, take personal responsibility and ‘do the work’, if not they have to pay the price.
@@cspace1234nzthat’s awesome
One year…it is easier for me now and I actually feel massive relief now from having to endlessly please and prove I’m trustworthy.
Getting an avoidant to read about attachment is like me winning the powerball
I’m no longer an option to him . We all have some sort of trauma. I won’t add his trauma to my story! I wished him well .
What a secure move. 👏✨
I wrote him 11 pages of letter on Valentine’s Day, the day I filed divorce. It’s closure letter. But nothing from him, he betrayed in front of the world that I am the one who is the problem! He acted as he didn’t know why I was divorcing him, I understand he’s too weak to be accountable and responsible of his own insecurity! Shame on him!!
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry 🫂
What did he do? If you’re open about it, I’d like to hear your story. I was abandoned and lied to and have to move on without closure.
@@feelsb4reals_based on what she said, he’s a weak, needy, insecure guy who lost (or never had) his masculine, he never truly listened or fully understood her, he didn’t fully get that women are emotional and you can’t argue with them, and you have to be a leader. My guess is her attraction kept dropping and dropping to the point where she loves him, but can’t be with him anymore. Hey I could be wrong (but in the ballpark).
No contact is really hard early on. I found it counter to every emotion I was grappling with why my perfect soul mate deactivated me out of the blue (slow fade), monkey branched to a narc (her description) which then was the start of the breadcrumbing. But give no contact time... and it really has worked for me. My ex DA lives in the same apartment block as I do which made all this just so much harder. But after 18 months of following advice ... my life is just SO much better than it was in the labyrinth of confusion that a relationship with a DA actually is. No contact lets you step far enough back to see just how dark the forest that a relationship with a DA actually is... even though close up when you are in it some of the trees can look very nice.
It's not always them leaving us,omg 🙄
Same with the narcissists. We can dump their ass too! I did!
I heard a great saying that sums up my brutal experience with a DA... "I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of what's in it that I can't see." Thank you Coach Ryan for bringing me the light.
I really enjoy your content.
Mine likes to make up accusations call the cops get a no contact order then get mad when I wont violate it. In her mind I’ve abandoned and discarded her.
Sounds like she needs to get a job.
She wants you locked up so she knows where you are, thinks she has more control, and can visit you in jail.
Bpd
Hi all viewers... after 3 months of no contact (he abruptely discarded me, 3rd party). But then second shock. He contacted me "you left not me..".I wish there was a medical treatme for the avoidants.Sometimes I feel sorry for them 🌻
Yes.. it helps a lot to see it's not my fault to made him an avoidant. Sadly his mother or grandmother did him wrong..
OR A FRIENDSHIP! A friend turned situationship then turned ex friend despite all the effort and love in the world is the worst thing I’ve ever been through
Never again no more dismissive avoidants
9:00 so true, the 2nd discard hurt even worse than the first.
What if she broke up with me because she was aware her actions were hurting me? And she did start to get therapy and help? Is this is sign for a future? I feel like its harder to accept the break up as she broke it because she cared and just wasn't in a place to show it the way I deserve. I'm praying this is a bigger factor of us getting back together day but it can't be guaranteed. And that's part my own fears and anxieties I need to work on.
Thanks Coach Ryan!
Thank you thank you. Thank you.
For me the hardest part of trying no contact is having to work with the person. Is there any advice on how no contact works in that setting?
Right!? A friend of mine is going to start sharing her journey of working with an avoidant ex and other helpful advice. Stay tuned for more of her content, she'll be posting other videos soon: ruclips.net/video/9d2f59787o4/видео.htmlsi=_zezJr28sywnlZk1
My ex was the sweetest man I knew. I had a lot of pain I was carrying and we argued a lot. But the break up I didn't see coming. We both cried but he said he didn't see a future, and doesnt see me romantically is he an avoidant? 8 weeks nc i moss him so much
Because you argued a lot I'm gonna say no, he fought for you even though it seemed the opposite, my avoidant ex would shut down in a RARE confrontation
@austinsavage3540 he blindsided me though. It was me causing arguments. He was so sweet I was just broken but he just up and left.
@@AP-vn7fm sometimes we feel bad for leaving a good person who isnt what were looking for, not that your not good , but that that's not what there ready for , like me I'm assuming your loyal, looking for something serious, some sadly arent ready I've learned the hard way..
@@austinsavage3540 4 years
He sounds pretty secure to me. Knew his boundaries and worth in relationships and walked away