If you are unfamiliar with this show, the first 10 minutes of this video should be free of any spoilers on character relationships in case you want to watch it. Timestamps: 0:01: Schmidt eating birth control pills [s3e4] 0:21: I tore my anus [s7Ee8] 0:27: hands off my thigh dude! [s3e17] 0:33: did you kill Jess? [s3e2] 0:38: judaism son! [s1e9] 0:45: is this a bad time? [s1e17] 0:47: I'm from Chicago, thin crust pizza? no thank you. I'm from Chicago. [s2e14] 0:52: he's a jew in the desert, I don't want him to wander [s1e24] 0:59: get your own sock [s4e9] 1:08: Schmidt stop looking at me like I'm a fat kid riding a bike [s2e1] 1:13: so I decided to let him choose how he wants to die [s3e2] 1:19: we used to have a school goat named Melvin [s2e24] 1:26: Schmidt dancing [s5e10] 1:31: there may have been a possible mix-up with the cake [s3e13] 1:41: my name is Jessica Day and this is my meth [s4e6] 1:45: that is the cutest cat [s3e2] 1:57: you care about your burritos more than my children? / sex pickle [s2e9] 2:03: you're a gynecologist and a lesbian which makes you a vagenius [s2e9] 2:08: why are you watering a cactus [s1e14] 2:14: last on the list, toilet paper [s1e5] 2:19: they make shoes for your penis they're called pants! [s2e14] 2:23: where are you Schmidt? this place is fancy [s2e3] 2:27: Schmidt crumping [s4e15] 2:32: the girl I've been hanging out with is totally mature and interesting [s1e21] 2:37: you blindfold me spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm and I'll still find the g spot [s4e10] 2:42: you can go to my funeral but you can't talk, my funeral is my time to shine [s1e15] 2:47: I think someone had sex in my bed last night [s3e6] 2:51: I'm going to go through your personal drawers and see what needs changing [s3e5] 2:57: cover your ears and sing landslide [s4e6] 3:06: Winston and the ladels [s3e16] 3:13: give me the hotdogs! [s3e17] 3:18: Schmidt happens / you got some Schmidt on your face [s1e2] 3:28: we are reverse mormons [s1e1] 3:34: you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags of toilet paper that you don't even use [s1e5] 3:41: Winston and the toilet paper [s1e5] 3:44: Schmidt and the lionfish part 1 [s2e19] 3:56: Nick in the pool with Tran [s2e7] 4:01: you're walking like a disney witch [s1e15] 4:03: where is the money dude [s1e16] 4:12: Schmidt and Nick fighting [s2e4] 4:21: do not moonwalk away from me [s2e16] 4:26: Schmidt's parfait [s1e2] 4:32: a real treat / I think it's great that you dance naked to jamaican music [s1e4] 4:45: you kinda have a girl butt / you're gonna drop a badger on a priest? [s2e25] 4:55: *laughing* I have a bag of meth in my closet [s4e6] 4:59: we're going to keep it cute am I right Ferguson? [s3e21] 5:08: Jess driving [s5e15] 5:10: Nick stop singing [s4e6] 5:14: this is a real bummer [s3e4] 5:21: white guy power [s2e13] 5:26: cotton eyed joe / why did you need me for this? [s2e25] 5:34: I think I'm getting my period [s2e7] 5:36: Winston with a ski [s2e4] 5:38: outside dave doing his taxes [s3e16] 5:44: asian jess [s1e23] 5:49: shall I compare thee to a summer's day [s1e23] 5:56: but then I found this wheelchair in a ditch so I'm ready to work out [s3e8] 6:02: when you're buying christmas trees, you're really buying sex [s1e11] 6:07: Schmidt freaking out to old man passing out with gangsta's paradise playing [s1e11] 6:13: what I wonderful day, quick reminder we are dying [s6e15] 6:16: selling sponges [s4e3] 7:03: we all know that men are idiots [s4e3] 7:09: why would Bishop make a good police officer [s4e6] 7:27: Nick freaking out with a grape in his mouth [s2e12] 7:30: don't talk to me Schmidt [s1e2] 7:34: I can totally change my personality [s2e4] 7:39: it's on and poppin' [s1e5] 7:51: well no more! I'm taking my thumb out of them [s6e19] 7:55: christmas play chaos [s4e11] 7:57: everything alright schmidt? [s1e21] 8:07: I thought you were asian me, but now I realize I'm just caucasian you [s1e23] 8:12: ladies let's not do this, at least not with our shirts on [s1e19] 8:16: you might find a girl who will motorboat you right back [s1e1] 8:21: I'm not going to parade her around like some trophy, you know me. I'm not that kind of guy [s1e14] 8:32: I think I understand hunting [s1e17] 8:39: my first sushi! baby wants a tempura california roll [s1e20] 8:44: a writing class is for somebody who doesn't think lyrically in terms of like poetic words that are strung- [s2e14] 8:56: HUBABA MAH ZING ~ JUST LIKE REAL CHILI ON THEM BEANS. BEANS ARE NOTHING BUT SOGGY NUTS... [s2e3 and s5e17] 9:07: if you were a woman or even dressed as a woman, man we'd be unstoppable [s1e21] 9:12: sup! let's talk puss. [s5e16] 9:17: schmidt you have a spider on your face [s4e17] 9:24: schmidt's encounter with a singing stranger in the bathroom [s5e4] 9:34: I want to get some pudding! [s1e10] 9:37: I'm going to get hard and fix myself [s4e22] 9:42: I'M GONNA EAT SUSHI OFF MY OWN ASS [s5e4] 9:50: surfboard! surfboard! 9:57: that's a handsome sweater - that's right I love you - NO [s3e15] 10:03: goodnight winston [s1e24] 10:15: next time that happens to you, just come to me, and I'll help you keep your pants on [s2e10] 10:18: men don't talk to people they've dated unless they want sex or they're winston [s3e15] 10:24: TREACHERY! [s3e18] 10:33: I have a travel size [s1e4] 10:46: you're fist pumping right now [s2e25] 10:50: banana in the dark... [s3e22] 11:01: a white man broke in today [s7e5] 11:10: it's over. santa is dead. I killed him. AHHHHHH [s1e9] 11:14: twenty nine! [s1e10] 11:25: I need you to pee on my face - I cannot pee on your face, I'm all out - but will #2 help? [s2e19] 11:52: you'll get a bunch of horse semen! [s2e13] 11:58: I just wanted to listen to taylor swift alone [s2e16] 12:09: youths! [s1e13] 12:14: it's a japanese garden! [s3e1] 12:22: damn it! I'm the dumbest boy in school [s2e17] 12:29: you're tiny. I like it [s4e21] 12:37: man, terrorism. - *moonwalks away* [s2e16] 12:43: nothing irks me like underage drinking. It's stupid, its dangerous, it's irresponsible- [s3e19] 12:53: I kind of want to get a gun - I'm definitely sexually attracted to ladybugs [s3e3] 12:57: want to party with havarti? [s1e14] 12:58: why do you start talking like a native american when you get angry? [s1e19] 13:02: watch out because you're about to get laid [s1e13] 13:07: where are your nipples man? [s2e17] 13:09: how am I gonna study if I can't turn the pages [s4e10] 13:12: slow chicken dance [s1e3] 13:22: I could really go for some crack [s2e12] 13:28: you cut me! - well, happy anniversary [s2e18] 13:35: I'm gonna split you like a log [s1e8] 13:38: schmidt's impression of winston's car [s1e15] 13:32: I LOVE YOU [s3e14] 13:49: stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm going to fall in love with you [s5e1] 13:59: you're really sexy for a jew [s4e9] 14:06: do you think a good subject line is, "the inside of you"? [s4e17] 14:08: that's crazy, that ain't real. that's dumb, that's straight dumb, you're dumb. [s3e8] 14:15: I have the fastest butt in the land! [s1e22] 14:18: I got big thighs, I got a fat ass [s1e24] 14:27: you left us too soon, you beautiful black butterfly - YOU GHOUL [s2e20] 14:43: jess gets knocked out by a piece of wood [s2e19] 14:46: sticks and stones may break your bones but not if you're a fat kid with calcium deficiency - diabetic amy ain't gonna get no cookies on my watch! [s3e22] 15:02: gave me cookie got you cookie [s2e5] 15:26: you can eliminate their you know whats [s4e14] 15:37: FREEZE FRAME [s1e22] 15:38: walk with dignity you giant toddler [s3e19] 15:43: stop fighting! you're upsetting winston [s4e14] 15:50: I'm a squirrel, you're my nut. winter's coming, and I'm going to store you in my cheek girl [s2e16] 15:56: -also got to die - OW [s3e22] 16:00: I take dumps standing up! I'm a man! [s3e23] 16:05: everything seems to turn you on - oh look cece, a bird [s1e23] 16:12: I'm not going to lie, it was very good, but I can't date my dad [s2e24] 16:18: I do it for kenya! [s2e15] 16:25: sex is a sprint not a marathon [s1e23] 16:27: my tires were stolen by street youths [s1e13] 16:34: she's got a great ass! *throws laundry* [s5e4] 16:38: gather ye round for I have a new friend I've met in the forest- [s1e6] 16:47: oh my god it's the old man from the stairs [s2e4] 16:57: jess is delirious, I think she thinks she's a rabbit [s3e10] 17:01: nick singing landslide to the cop [s4e6] 17:12: schmidt dipping his head into a coffin [s2e20] 17:21: most people see a wall and they just see a wall, but when I look at a wall, I see like.. a goat in a backpack [s4e4] 17:30: how are you still shaving? [s5e8] 17:35: why does your bottom need to breathe? [s3e18] 17:47: nick moonwalks out of a weird situation [s4e6] 18:05: ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT [s2e8 and s2e17] 18:16: shut your mouth because what you're saying is beautiful - we're all covered in micropenises [s3e19 and s4e4] 18:25: I found garbage and it has chocolate on it [s2e17] 18:32: I felt like it was christmas morning and I was ten- [s6e10] 18:40: dude there's a sponge in your hand [s4e3] 18:48: did you register me as a sex offender? [s5e1] 18:53: nick's important meeting [s3e19] 19:11: what do you say you dirty slut? [s6e9] 19:21: oh my god a secret world! [s6e15] 19:26: if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old chinese girl [s4e2] 19:34: that's poop for sure, I was right! in your face nick! - in my face? [s3e10] 20:06: you just said you were fine - let me die [s3e9] 20:17: meep meep [s1e24] 20:27: nick dancing at the russian horse parking lot deal [s2e13] 20:35: how dare you! I'm a goofball [s3e16] 20:45: I don't know what mazel tov means but it doesn't sound good [s2e17] 20:49: party time [s2e18] 20:50: she took a 15 on my face... [s5e4] 21:02: jess dressed as donald trump [s6e2] 21:05: carving station, plates are warm, sneeze guard, kids eat for free- [s1e5] 21:13: what's the difference between me and bill cosby? [s1e23] 21:16: I think it's about time you take advantage of me [s3e19]
21:21: keep them, they're yours [s3e5] 21:27: water, the source of life [s1e22] 21:33: I can't get it in - we've all been here am I right? - I'm not going to lie this is turning me on [s1e6] 21:44: it's not just a choker, it's a story- [s3e18] 21:51: how are you going to fix a dead schmidt? [s1e7] 21:56: I can't close my ass [s4e1] 22:05: physical. education. activity. NUTS. [s3e8] 22:17: hey do you have any snacks? [s4e9] 22:20: yes! my penis is working! [s2e1] 22:23: let me get a hit of that squishy whip - I am thor and this is my hammer [s4e3] 22:38: I am the jester [s4e20] 22:48: let's take the lord of the rings references, let's put them in a deep dark cave [s1e1] 22:58: do you think that she saw me?? [s2e13] 23:12: you're my boo [s2e10] 23:27: there's nothing like the feel of a fire, fresh-baked cookie, and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs [s2e12] 23:37: ma called! the bees are back! [s4e2] 23:47: what were you doing that your naked penis was exposed to bumblebees? [s5e5] 24:00: did you just fredo kiss me? [s1e15] 24:10: nick talking about monkeys [s3e21] 24:23: do you know where I can get a pretty candle?? [s3e9] 24:25: last night when ferguson and I where in the shower - meet some women.. human women [s3e9] 24:35: what that thing do? [s2e15] 24:43: schmidt in the car with fawn [s4e12] 24:49: fawn and schmidt: faw-mit [s4e21] 24:53: this is america! wear pants! [s4e12] 24:56: code jewish code jewish [s4e12] 25:00: what is OSI? [s1e11] 25:11: winston is about to some puzzlin' [s3e1] 25:20: hey what happened to your phone? - jesus took it. [s1e19] 25:23: nick and the clown [s2e6] 25:27: prince between the king and queen of loft 4d [s3e14] 25:31: human cockfight [s1e13] 25:39: you jewish? [s4e22] 25:46: YOLO YOLO [s3e5] 25:52: I'm wearing a kimono [s4e6] 25:58: I'm on drugs [s4e6] 26:02: nick, jess and remy [s1e12] 26:09: what's the worst thing that you've ever experienced on a date? [s2e21] 26:27: sad sparrow [s1e14] 26:30: I love sunsets [s1e14] 26:33: you've got a heart of gold [s5e17] 26:43: best move push it all the way in and get it from the other side [s4e18] 26:52: he's paddling to heaven because he's already dead [s3e23] 26:58: 5-1-6 up in your lounge sucka [s4e11] 27:03: winston! [s6e13] 27:05: you can eat salad in my backseat anytime [s2e12] 27:11: coach at the playground trying to pick up a kid [s4e6] 27:15: I'd be in trouble if you were black - thank you? [s4e3] 27:19: weekly selfie with my cat - put that heat away bishop! [s4e22 and s3e22] 27:28: I wouldn't even know how to begin to steal a swag [s3e2] 27:34: why are you smiling about that? [s3e10] 27:44: it's called foreplay you tween [s5e7] 27:56: I want to be a girl's godfather [s7e5] 28:04: I'm a very good secretary [s4e5] 28:11: why aren't we having sex?- [s2e6] 28:18: taint that the truth [s4e20] 28:23: sometimes it was a little hard to chew- [s3e9] 28:33: winston has no game - she loved it then she abruptly moved away [s4e20] 28:42: what are you? a sorcercer? [s3e10] 28:55: happy newish jew year - is that a hate crime? [s4e6] 29:00: compose yourself and you make a miracle or I will squeeze one out of you like a bottle of mustard [s5e5]
I like how Schmidt called Nick to make CC jealous asking about his tushy and Nick just answers him with the utmost sincerity and concern for his well-being
At the start of the show, you think Schmitt is the best character. Half-way through, you’ll realise it’s Nick. When you’re finished, you realise that it was Winston all along.
No. Schmidt is the best character. Plus Schmidt's first is name is also Winston so in a weird way it was always Schmidt all along. _"Goosepimples!_ _Look_ _each one..._ _a memory."_ _- Winston Saint-Marie Schmidt_
“i’m worried about schmidt. he’s a jew in the desert, i don’t want him to wander.” is the best line of dialogue ever written and i will die on that hill
I’ve always thought it was such a hilarious Nick thing that he’s from Chicago but when he acts as Julius Pepperwood who is also from Chicago he puts on a really thick accent for no reason
The dedication in tying together related scenes across episodes and seasons (ex: Nick struggling to explain to Schmidt about overly creamy feet, cutting to Schmidt lotioning his legs 😙👌)
im obsessed with the random continuity in this edit. "ma called the bees are back" followed by "I was stung 5x by 5 different bees over 5 days" killed me
Can I just say the first time I heard Winston say "I'm not afraid of the dark Schmidt is a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander" I laughed so hard I had to stop the show
6:50 this whole scene is perfect when coach says “cake” and they all look so shocked and amazed someone said something that wasn’t sponge only for him to say sponge cake🤣
my favorite underrated winston moment is during his courtroom brown era (also he becomes a police after doing this i-) and the lady reads back the situation and in-between the nick and schmidt banter winston is read saying “the children are our future” and he mouths it 😂
There’s so much wisdom here and if you don’t think so, it’s because you’re not listening. 😊 For example, “will number 2 help?”, “if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old Chinese girl.”
i don’t know how this is the only thing i’ve ever seen max greenfield in. he’s literally a comedic genius. my favorite character yet my least favorite type of person lol
If you are unfamiliar with this show, the first 10 minutes of this video should be free of any spoilers on character relationships in case you want to watch it.
Timestamps:
0:01: Schmidt eating birth control pills [s3e4]
0:21: I tore my anus [s7Ee8]
0:27: hands off my thigh dude! [s3e17]
0:33: did you kill Jess? [s3e2]
0:38: judaism son! [s1e9]
0:45: is this a bad time? [s1e17]
0:47: I'm from Chicago, thin crust pizza? no thank you. I'm from Chicago. [s2e14]
0:52: he's a jew in the desert, I don't want him to wander [s1e24]
0:59: get your own sock [s4e9]
1:08: Schmidt stop looking at me like I'm a fat kid riding a bike [s2e1]
1:13: so I decided to let him choose how he wants to die [s3e2]
1:19: we used to have a school goat named Melvin [s2e24]
1:26: Schmidt dancing [s5e10]
1:31: there may have been a possible mix-up with the cake [s3e13]
1:41: my name is Jessica Day and this is my meth [s4e6]
1:45: that is the cutest cat [s3e2]
1:57: you care about your burritos more than my children? / sex pickle [s2e9]
2:03: you're a gynecologist and a lesbian which makes you a vagenius [s2e9]
2:08: why are you watering a cactus [s1e14]
2:14: last on the list, toilet paper [s1e5]
2:19: they make shoes for your penis they're called pants! [s2e14]
2:23: where are you Schmidt? this place is fancy [s2e3]
2:27: Schmidt crumping [s4e15]
2:32: the girl I've been hanging out with is totally mature and interesting [s1e21]
2:37: you blindfold me spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm and I'll still find the g spot [s4e10]
2:42: you can go to my funeral but you can't talk, my funeral is my time to shine [s1e15]
2:47: I think someone had sex in my bed last night [s3e6]
2:51: I'm going to go through your personal drawers and see what needs changing [s3e5]
2:57: cover your ears and sing landslide [s4e6]
3:06: Winston and the ladels [s3e16]
3:13: give me the hotdogs! [s3e17]
3:18: Schmidt happens / you got some Schmidt on your face [s1e2]
3:28: we are reverse mormons [s1e1]
3:34: you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags of toilet paper that you don't even use [s1e5]
3:41: Winston and the toilet paper [s1e5]
3:44: Schmidt and the lionfish part 1 [s2e19]
3:56: Nick in the pool with Tran [s2e7]
4:01: you're walking like a disney witch [s1e15]
4:03: where is the money dude [s1e16]
4:12: Schmidt and Nick fighting [s2e4]
4:21: do not moonwalk away from me [s2e16]
4:26: Schmidt's parfait [s1e2]
4:32: a real treat / I think it's great that you dance naked to jamaican music [s1e4]
4:45: you kinda have a girl butt / you're gonna drop a badger on a priest? [s2e25]
4:55: *laughing* I have a bag of meth in my closet [s4e6]
4:59: we're going to keep it cute am I right Ferguson? [s3e21]
5:08: Jess driving [s5e15]
5:10: Nick stop singing [s4e6]
5:14: this is a real bummer [s3e4]
5:21: white guy power [s2e13]
5:26: cotton eyed joe / why did you need me for this? [s2e25]
5:34: I think I'm getting my period [s2e7]
5:36: Winston with a ski [s2e4]
5:38: outside dave doing his taxes [s3e16]
5:44: asian jess [s1e23]
5:49: shall I compare thee to a summer's day [s1e23]
5:56: but then I found this wheelchair in a ditch so I'm ready to work out [s3e8]
6:02: when you're buying christmas trees, you're really buying sex [s1e11]
6:07: Schmidt freaking out to old man passing out with gangsta's paradise playing [s1e11]
6:13: what I wonderful day, quick reminder we are dying [s6e15]
6:16: selling sponges [s4e3]
7:03: we all know that men are idiots [s4e3]
7:09: why would Bishop make a good police officer [s4e6]
7:27: Nick freaking out with a grape in his mouth [s2e12]
7:30: don't talk to me Schmidt [s1e2]
7:34: I can totally change my personality [s2e4]
7:39: it's on and poppin' [s1e5]
7:51: well no more! I'm taking my thumb out of them [s6e19]
7:55: christmas play chaos [s4e11]
7:57: everything alright schmidt? [s1e21]
8:07: I thought you were asian me, but now I realize I'm just caucasian you [s1e23]
8:12: ladies let's not do this, at least not with our shirts on [s1e19]
8:16: you might find a girl who will motorboat you right back [s1e1]
8:21: I'm not going to parade her around like some trophy, you know me. I'm not that kind of guy [s1e14]
8:32: I think I understand hunting [s1e17]
8:39: my first sushi! baby wants a tempura california roll [s1e20]
8:44: a writing class is for somebody who doesn't think lyrically in terms of like poetic words that are strung- [s2e14]
8:56: HUBABA MAH ZING ~ JUST LIKE REAL CHILI ON THEM BEANS. BEANS ARE NOTHING BUT SOGGY NUTS... [s2e3 and s5e17]
9:07: if you were a woman or even dressed as a woman, man we'd be unstoppable [s1e21]
9:12: sup! let's talk puss. [s5e16]
9:17: schmidt you have a spider on your face [s4e17]
9:24: schmidt's encounter with a singing stranger in the bathroom [s5e4]
9:34: I want to get some pudding! [s1e10]
9:37: I'm going to get hard and fix myself [s4e22]
9:42: I'M GONNA EAT SUSHI OFF MY OWN ASS [s5e4]
9:50: surfboard! surfboard!
9:57: that's a handsome sweater - that's right I love you - NO [s3e15]
10:03: goodnight winston [s1e24]
10:15: next time that happens to you, just come to me, and I'll help you keep your pants on [s2e10]
10:18: men don't talk to people they've dated unless they want sex or they're winston [s3e15]
10:24: TREACHERY! [s3e18]
10:33: I have a travel size [s1e4]
10:46: you're fist pumping right now [s2e25]
10:50: banana in the dark... [s3e22]
11:01: a white man broke in today [s7e5]
11:10: it's over. santa is dead. I killed him. AHHHHHH [s1e9]
11:14: twenty nine! [s1e10]
11:25: I need you to pee on my face - I cannot pee on your face, I'm all out - but will #2 help? [s2e19]
11:52: you'll get a bunch of horse semen! [s2e13]
11:58: I just wanted to listen to taylor swift alone [s2e16]
12:09: youths! [s1e13]
12:14: it's a japanese garden! [s3e1]
12:22: damn it! I'm the dumbest boy in school [s2e17]
12:29: you're tiny. I like it [s4e21]
12:37: man, terrorism. - *moonwalks away* [s2e16]
12:43: nothing irks me like underage drinking. It's stupid, its dangerous, it's irresponsible- [s3e19]
12:53: I kind of want to get a gun - I'm definitely sexually attracted to ladybugs [s3e3]
12:57: want to party with havarti? [s1e14]
12:58: why do you start talking like a native american when you get angry? [s1e19]
13:02: watch out because you're about to get laid [s1e13]
13:07: where are your nipples man? [s2e17]
13:09: how am I gonna study if I can't turn the pages [s4e10]
13:12: slow chicken dance [s1e3]
13:22: I could really go for some crack [s2e12]
13:28: you cut me! - well, happy anniversary [s2e18]
13:35: I'm gonna split you like a log [s1e8]
13:38: schmidt's impression of winston's car [s1e15]
13:32: I LOVE YOU [s3e14]
13:49: stop being so mean to me or I swear to god I'm going to fall in love with you [s5e1]
13:59: you're really sexy for a jew [s4e9]
14:06: do you think a good subject line is, "the inside of you"? [s4e17]
14:08: that's crazy, that ain't real. that's dumb, that's straight dumb, you're dumb. [s3e8]
14:15: I have the fastest butt in the land! [s1e22]
14:18: I got big thighs, I got a fat ass [s1e24]
14:27: you left us too soon, you beautiful black butterfly - YOU GHOUL [s2e20]
14:43: jess gets knocked out by a piece of wood [s2e19]
14:46: sticks and stones may break your bones but not if you're a fat kid with calcium deficiency - diabetic amy ain't gonna get no cookies on my watch! [s3e22]
15:02: gave me cookie got you cookie [s2e5]
15:26: you can eliminate their you know whats [s4e14]
15:37: FREEZE FRAME [s1e22]
15:38: walk with dignity you giant toddler [s3e19]
15:43: stop fighting! you're upsetting winston [s4e14]
15:50: I'm a squirrel, you're my nut. winter's coming, and I'm going to store you in my cheek girl [s2e16]
15:56: -also got to die - OW [s3e22]
16:00: I take dumps standing up! I'm a man! [s3e23]
16:05: everything seems to turn you on - oh look cece, a bird [s1e23]
16:12: I'm not going to lie, it was very good, but I can't date my dad [s2e24]
16:18: I do it for kenya! [s2e15]
16:25: sex is a sprint not a marathon [s1e23]
16:27: my tires were stolen by street youths [s1e13]
16:34: she's got a great ass! *throws laundry* [s5e4]
16:38: gather ye round for I have a new friend I've met in the forest- [s1e6]
16:47: oh my god it's the old man from the stairs [s2e4]
16:57: jess is delirious, I think she thinks she's a rabbit [s3e10]
17:01: nick singing landslide to the cop [s4e6]
17:12: schmidt dipping his head into a coffin [s2e20]
17:21: most people see a wall and they just see a wall, but when I look at a wall, I see like.. a goat in a backpack [s4e4]
17:30: how are you still shaving? [s5e8]
17:35: why does your bottom need to breathe? [s3e18]
17:47: nick moonwalks out of a weird situation [s4e6]
18:05: ALL DAY / ALL NIGHT [s2e8 and s2e17]
18:16: shut your mouth because what you're saying is beautiful - we're all covered in micropenises [s3e19 and s4e4]
18:25: I found garbage and it has chocolate on it [s2e17]
18:32: I felt like it was christmas morning and I was ten- [s6e10]
18:40: dude there's a sponge in your hand [s4e3]
18:48: did you register me as a sex offender? [s5e1]
18:53: nick's important meeting [s3e19]
19:11: what do you say you dirty slut? [s6e9]
19:21: oh my god a secret world! [s6e15]
19:26: if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old chinese girl [s4e2]
19:34: that's poop for sure, I was right! in your face nick! - in my face? [s3e10]
20:06: you just said you were fine - let me die [s3e9]
20:17: meep meep [s1e24]
20:27: nick dancing at the russian horse parking lot deal [s2e13]
20:35: how dare you! I'm a goofball [s3e16]
20:45: I don't know what mazel tov means but it doesn't sound good [s2e17]
20:49: party time [s2e18]
20:50: she took a 15 on my face... [s5e4]
21:02: jess dressed as donald trump [s6e2]
21:05: carving station, plates are warm, sneeze guard, kids eat for free- [s1e5]
21:13: what's the difference between me and bill cosby? [s1e23]
21:16: I think it's about time you take advantage of me [s3e19]
21:21: keep them, they're yours [s3e5]
21:27: water, the source of life [s1e22]
21:33: I can't get it in - we've all been here am I right? - I'm not going to lie this is turning me on [s1e6]
21:44: it's not just a choker, it's a story- [s3e18]
21:51: how are you going to fix a dead schmidt? [s1e7]
21:56: I can't close my ass [s4e1]
22:05: physical. education. activity. NUTS. [s3e8]
22:17: hey do you have any snacks? [s4e9]
22:20: yes! my penis is working! [s2e1]
22:23: let me get a hit of that squishy whip - I am thor and this is my hammer [s4e3]
22:38: I am the jester [s4e20]
22:48: let's take the lord of the rings references, let's put them in a deep dark cave [s1e1]
22:58: do you think that she saw me?? [s2e13]
23:12: you're my boo [s2e10]
23:27: there's nothing like the feel of a fire, fresh-baked cookie, and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs [s2e12]
23:37: ma called! the bees are back! [s4e2]
23:47: what were you doing that your naked penis was exposed to bumblebees? [s5e5]
24:00: did you just fredo kiss me? [s1e15]
24:10: nick talking about monkeys [s3e21]
24:23: do you know where I can get a pretty candle?? [s3e9]
24:25: last night when ferguson and I where in the shower - meet some women.. human women [s3e9]
24:35: what that thing do? [s2e15]
24:43: schmidt in the car with fawn [s4e12]
24:49: fawn and schmidt: faw-mit [s4e21]
24:53: this is america! wear pants! [s4e12]
24:56: code jewish code jewish [s4e12]
25:00: what is OSI? [s1e11]
25:11: winston is about to some puzzlin' [s3e1]
25:20: hey what happened to your phone? - jesus took it. [s1e19]
25:23: nick and the clown [s2e6]
25:27: prince between the king and queen of loft 4d [s3e14]
25:31: human cockfight [s1e13]
25:39: you jewish? [s4e22]
25:46: YOLO YOLO [s3e5]
25:52: I'm wearing a kimono [s4e6]
25:58: I'm on drugs [s4e6]
26:02: nick, jess and remy [s1e12]
26:09: what's the worst thing that you've ever experienced on a date? [s2e21]
26:27: sad sparrow [s1e14]
26:30: I love sunsets [s1e14]
26:33: you've got a heart of gold [s5e17]
26:43: best move push it all the way in and get it from the other side [s4e18]
26:52: he's paddling to heaven because he's already dead [s3e23]
26:58: 5-1-6 up in your lounge sucka [s4e11]
27:03: winston! [s6e13]
27:05: you can eat salad in my backseat anytime [s2e12]
27:11: coach at the playground trying to pick up a kid [s4e6]
27:15: I'd be in trouble if you were black - thank you? [s4e3]
27:19: weekly selfie with my cat - put that heat away bishop! [s4e22 and s3e22]
27:28: I wouldn't even know how to begin to steal a swag [s3e2]
27:34: why are you smiling about that? [s3e10]
27:44: it's called foreplay you tween [s5e7]
27:56: I want to be a girl's godfather [s7e5]
28:04: I'm a very good secretary [s4e5]
28:11: why aren't we having sex?- [s2e6]
28:18: taint that the truth [s4e20]
28:23: sometimes it was a little hard to chew- [s3e9]
28:33: winston has no game - she loved it then she abruptly moved away [s4e20]
28:42: what are you? a sorcercer? [s3e10]
28:55: happy newish jew year - is that a hate crime? [s4e6]
29:00: compose yourself and you make a miracle or I will squeeze one out of you like a bottle of mustard [s5e5]
Damn the commitment is appreciated
😅
😅
0:42
I like how Schmidt called Nick to make CC jealous asking about his tushy and Nick just answers him with the utmost sincerity and concern for his well-being
upmost*
@@well6572😂😂
@@well6572can't tell if joke or dumb
@@well6572 Well Thanks Eye-Stein
Best bromance in history
HES A JEW IN THE DESERT I DONT WANT HIM TO WANDER
The funniest part
So underrated
I swear I missed it the first time and now I almost died
what does it mean?😭
The fact that Winston and Jess just have no reaction to Schmidt and Nick fighting really describes the vibe of the loft
At the start of the show, you think Schmitt is the best character. Half-way through, you’ll realise it’s Nick. When you’re finished, you realise that it was Winston all along.
No nick is always my favourite I get his personality so much like mine
No. Schmidt is the best character. Plus Schmidt's first is name is also Winston so in a weird way it was always Schmidt all along.
_"Goosepimples!_
_Look_
_each one..._
_a memory."_
_- Winston Saint-Marie Schmidt_
@@zinzincoetzee1934 yeah he's my second favourite especially how he mispronounces words like chutney
I think we can all agree Jess is the worst
@@saolift8442 no Jess is cool
my favorite thing about nick is that he will begin a sentence and leave the final words in the air if he doesn’t like where it’s going
If so...food
I do that too and I think it’s bc I grew up watching this show 😂
Love when he does that 😂 digs himself a hole hesitates then keeps digging but slower this time
Schmidt's face after Robbie says "white guy power" is such an underrated hilarious moment
SUCH AN UNDERRATED MOMENT 😂😂😂😂😂
“I don’t know what mazel tov means, but it doesn’t sound good” kills me every single time
"MY NAME IS JESSICA DAY AND THIS IS MY METH" one of my favorite episodes
“i got thick thighs, i got a fat ass” always gets me😭🤣winston was such an underrated character fr
Imagine just watching this video not knowing anything of New Girl, " TREACHERY 🤣
Underrated? Plenty of people think he's the best character on the show
The improv in this show is unreal I don’t know how they even managed to finish a scene 😂
This show is the perfect amount of chaos 😂
They all have chaos in their eyes
Just how Zooey Deschanel kept from laughing when Winston screams, “I JUST TORE MY ANUS!”, I’ll never know.
"It's a Japanese garden!" is Schmidt's best delivery in the entire show.
Its always been one of my favourites yeah, next to "gimmie it!"
together with A WHITE MAN?? WHAT DID THE SECURITY DO??? TYPICAL
I don't know, him shouting "Typical!" Is up there
Nah when he says mango chutney trying to figure whete Cece is from
I really like his reaction to Nick saying he has valet top 10
Nick’s face when he opens Jess’ drawer of peanuts is hilarious 😆 2:53
Those were her night peanuts! Hahaha 😅😅
@@tacticalcupcake5104There shouldn’t be day peanuts and night peanuts.
What are you, a zoo elephant?!
“i’m worried about schmidt. he’s a jew in the desert, i don’t want him to wander.” is the best line of dialogue ever written and i will die on that hill
i’ll die with you it’s so funny dude
“ Walk with DIGNITY you GIANT TODDLER “ he kills me
🤣
i love new girl so much its literally my comfort show!! im so pissed that they moved it to hulu
It on Disney plus
@@Jaquanjungaljronly in certain countries
Same! I'm so sad it's not on Netflix anymore
if you live in the us, its on peacock for free
@@aestxviv it says its 5 dollars?
You did great on this one, truly no context and great bits you're not used to seeing
36 minutes of straight up bangers
"You don't have a hat on." Robby was an underrated support character, haha
Robbie's the best.
I try and quote, "Banana in the dark," as much as I can in my daily life, although it's tricky
i love that taylor swift music is canon but taylor swift guest stars as someone else 😭
I love things like this in TV shows
I like to think that it's a Hannah Montana situation and Elaine is just Taylors alter ego without a disguise
I don't think about Coach that much, but him so easily saying "I'm the Jester" like that has me DYING
And the shitting while standing line is pure gold
i was searching for this comment LMFAOOOO like i’m in TEARSSS
He should have been in the whole series. One of my favourite characters
Nick drinking and vibing to Beyoncé on the couch is a mood 😂
I love when Nick yelled “ Winston” when he had the shovel ready to swing 💀😭😭🐱
😂😂😂
New Girl is to me what Friends is to my mom: the pinnacle of comfort tv
30:59 schmidt almost breaking character gets me every time 😭
Realizing that was the best take so you know he couldn't keep it together
He looks like he’s in pain of trying not to crack 😂
what episode is that ???
thank you for pointing that out lmaao
@@lariyaj”the swuit” i think 🧥
This is one of the funniest things I've ever watched
I’ve been laughing at “human women, is there any other kind?” For like five minutes now.
"Im gonna hit you with a ski!!!" I love Winston sm 😂😂
Truly one of his best cut scenes, I love how it ends too, not shown in this video but he starts swinging it
Omg the cut from “would you like a green grape shove in- given to your mouth” to Absinthe Nick not being able to eat a grape 😂😂😂
7:25 would you like a green grape shoved into your- given to your mouth? Cut to Nick struggling to eat a green grape 😂
👧🏽: “A white man broke in today!”
👱♂️: “A white man? No! What did security do about it?”
👧🏽: “Nothing!”
👱♂️: “Typical!”
😂😂
I’ve always thought it was such a hilarious Nick thing that he’s from Chicago but when he acts as Julius Pepperwood who is also from Chicago he puts on a really thick accent for no reason
the "see you in hell boomer" cake took me OUT
The dedication in tying together related scenes across episodes and seasons
(ex: Nick struggling to explain to Schmidt about overly creamy feet, cutting to Schmidt lotioning his legs 😙👌)
im obsessed with the random continuity in this edit. "ma called the bees are back" followed by "I was stung 5x by 5 different bees over 5 days" killed me
14:20 "We're in the middle of the desert and nobody's gonna find our bodies"
Eith the highway right behind him 😂😂😂
“Worried about Schmidt, he’s a Jew in the desert, I don’t want him to wander” Winston lmao
The “your pour that coffee and I swear I’ll pour your blood on the ground. I’ll KNIFE you” always makes me DIE
This video is truly a masterpiece, and couldn’t be ended in any other way.
Spongey mcwipey
Man, there is so many good moments from this show
Thin crust pizza? No thank you, I’m from Chicago.
The peanuts in Jess’s drawer bit gets me every time. Nicks face💀💀
"Ah dammit, I'm the dumbest boy in school!" 😂😂
30:59 schmidt almost breaking character gets me every time . this is perfect, excellent choice of moments, love it!.
13:10 Winston’s little tippy taps kill me 😂
I don't think I'll ever be able to express how much I love this show
34:08 - “Why is he asking Chicago?” gets me all the time….😂😂😂
the sponge thing is comedy gold. nobody could have written or performed that better
Cece: “giving her money for jewelry” 👁️👁️🤨🤨
Schmidt: TREACHERY 😤😤👺
Coach: *fumbles trash* 🗑️ AHHHHH 🙀🙀🙀
“Im worried about Schmidt, he’s s jew in the desert. I dont want him to wander” is still one of the best lines in any sitcom for me. Just gold.
“you got some schmidt on your face” 😭😭
I love the “I’m the jester” voice😭
I'm so glad someone said this. Coach is a god
The cut from ‘he hanged himself tragically’ to Schmidt dancing kills me every time
i religiously search up new girl crack in hopes for a great new video, this has satisfied my craving :)
the editing deserves an oscar.
The best delivery of a line. 'You wanna chase that with some dirt?'😂😂😂
Can I just say the first time I heard Winston say "I'm not afraid of the dark Schmidt is a Jew in the desert I don't want him to wander" I laughed so hard I had to stop the show
SO GOOD
honestly, we don't even need a gag reel with this show, the whole thing is a gag reel
Honestly this is easily one of the funniest shows/movies/whatever in the world for me. They couldn't of gotten luckier with their cast.
Nick and Cotton Eye Joe is the true OTP of this show 😂
PS I love your channel
6:50 this whole scene is perfect when coach says “cake” and they all look so shocked and amazed someone said something that wasn’t sponge only for him to say sponge cake🤣
Nick dropping the watering can on his tomatoes is gold
Fun fact: everyone in New Girl is actually named Winston, but they all had to change their name to avoid confusion, except for Winston.
Don't watch this while eating, I spat partially chewed noodles EVERYWHERE and then started cry laughing uncontrollably.
People need to realize that Outside Dave is the real comedic gemstone. ALWAYS brilliant line delivery
ive seen so many new girl compilations and this is easily the best one. so grateful for this video, cant thank you enough
30:16 I remember no context for this I’m WHEEZING 🪦
It's supposed to be a joke from his book but he never gives context when he signs so it's always confusing when he signs the books lmao
@@namelessgirl5871 Ohh haha that’s right! XD
“Nick! First of all,
🙏🏿Blessings🙏🏿
Second of all there MAY have been a mix up “ kills me every time😂 1:37
My life would be so much better if I had friends who quoted New Girl w me all the livelong day.
this. is. the. best. compilation. i have ever watched!!!
That Indian lady really said " may your salt and chillies always be more and you get a bad stomach" 😂😂 like what
The "hands off my thigh dude!" Made me pause laughing so hard
the whole episode where jess has “meth” is a masterpiece
🎶 🍌 Banana in the Dark 🎶 🍌
“Imma hit yo ass with a ski” gets me everytime I feel the need to watch it over and over again bc its so funny😂😂
the face nick makes when he finds jess's peanut drawer is the best scene ever
31:00 Max greenfield trying so hard not to laugh LMAOOO
I quote “banana in the dark” all the time and no one knows what I’m talking about😭
this has to be one of my favorite and funniest shows of all time, thank you for making this compilation
this is perfect, excellent choice of moments, love it!
0:48 i'm from chicago, thin crust pizza? no thank you i'm from chicogo
my favorite underrated winston moment is during his courtroom brown era (also he becomes a police after doing this i-) and the lady reads back the situation and in-between the nick and schmidt banter winston is read saying “the children are our future” and he mouths it 😂
"it's ON" has me on the floor laughing
THIS IS WHY NEW GIRL IS MY FAVORITE SHOW
“This is America! Wear pants!” I love Coach.
3:55 "gimme it!-" I FUCKING CANT AAHHAGGAGA
4:57 "hueghh-" THIS ONE TOO OH MY GOD-
"Will number 2 help?" AHSHSHSHSHHSHSHSHS
There’s so much wisdom here and if you don’t think so, it’s because you’re not listening. 😊
For example, “will number 2 help?”, “if pot were a piano, nick would be a nine year old Chinese girl.”
Except Smeagol… He lives in a cave. ☠️ 😂 😂
i don’t know how this is the only thing i’ve ever seen max greenfield in. he’s literally a comedic genius. my favorite character yet my least favorite type of person lol
He’s the greatest character ever and my favorite on the show and tbh I’d love this character if he was a real person
He’s also been in American horror story and Veronica mars and ugly Betty. Also a series of unfortunate events
Because he became famous from this show!
I've only ever known him from a series of unfortunate events so his character here was a biiiig jump from there.
Always love the scene where Nick sings Landslide 😂
I’m laughing but I have headphones on so no one knows what’s going on. I love it.
This is by far the best “no context compilation” of new girl or any series I have ever seen. Kudos OP
I replay this video so much as background noise so I can sleep. Thank you.
these are equally insane in context lmao
You’re gonna drop a badger on a priest?!😂😂
I don't know why but Winston trying to kill fergurson is the funniest damn shit I've seen.