I BEEN THREW THIS AND MORE.....I have a story to tell for sure. In the end two of left the department and the a third person left two months later. A previous employee who was fired for standing up for herself is not a Art director at another company. What is crazy is only women who where harassed at this company.
@BURGERKING TERNI yeah I learned from my peers that the issues I face at my company is extremely common at most companies. It’s not that bad per se but I just gotta watch my back. Hopefully I can do something on my own someday.
There is always a chance but what you have now that you didn't have before is knowledge. You have learned from the toxic jobs you have gone through will help you see toxic jobs in the future. If I had listened to my instincts I would never have taken the job offer from my last job which was by far the most toxic I have ever had. But what I learned is that I value so many other things so much more than money and it is not worth it to jump into a new job because it looks like the only option that might come my way. I can't say I never will again but I have made an active decision to only apply for jobs that offer at least the bare minimum of what I need to set myself up for the next step up and to not jump at something just because I feel I have to now.
"I am not a quitter" hit home. My boss has been impossible to deal with for the past 2 years and I swore I would stick it out because I have a son and I need the income and he wont make me quit. Now I have 60 days before he lets me go. I should have left sooner but lesson learned on my end. For anyone reading this, don't do what I did. The second it starts to get toxic, start looking for something else.
Having that run room to find your next move and that the universe has forced your hand at an exit, I think they're both going to get you on the path to where you should be in a better work environment. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Brandon!
Yup, I've preached my golden handcuffs sermon for years. Now money is NOT my driving force anymore. Peace has become PRICELESS to me. With that, I'm working on my exit as we speak.
“It’s not that bad”. Boy do I tell myself that all the time....I have hated my job for a long time, but every time I come on RUclips and see those videos of slums in Kenya, Bangladesh or somewhere else, I say maybe I have it good....Then Sunday night comes around like a nightmare on Elm Street.
@@JenniferBrickAbsolutely, b/c if there's anything I've learned through bitter experiences is that, sometimes, the best way to protect your own personal peace & self-worth, isn't by bringing certain things into your life, but by PUSHING CERTAIN THINGS AWAY
Yes. And the one main bright side to having the wrong job is that, while you've been pondering your life choices at work and identifying what's wrong about your job situation, you now have a much clearer definition of what the "right" job is.
💰 biggest block was the fear of not being able to afford to live. Thankfully a coworker encouraged me to apply for a better job. In a much better situation with an amazing company now.
Your videos helped give me the confidence to finally leave my toxic job, i was soo depressed I used to cry before every shift so I finally took the step to leave. and yes, I've had a small pay cut, but I'm soooo happy now! I've found a company who are organised, professional and the most down to earth people that actually value my opinion ❤❤ looking back, I wish I left sooner lol and now I've left, other people from the same job are leaving now too 😅
There's also the "tried to leave, had hundreds of interviews, but no one else would hire me, so I better make the most of what I have" mindset. Or the "I've been here much longer than the boss (bosses have lasted 2-3 years tops and employee is on 6th or 7th boss at same workplace due to the bosses either retiring/being moved/being fired by their bosses/etc.), I'll outlast this one, too" mindset. This is especially attractive when you've had some good bosses and some toxic bosses at the same workplace.
I know 3 people that kept saying "I'll never make what I do here." or some such salary issue. They got fired or layed off and 2 found better paying jobs in a few months and the other changed careers making about the same but was much happier.
I was speaking to a “therapist” in my field- and when I mentioned the toxic workplace I was in, she said that yes, it’s a highly “competitive” field, I was so angry that she would call a toxic workplace “competitive” as if the problem was I couldn’t deal with competition/ I was incapable of keeping up/ I did not play dirty. This isn’t competition. This is not healthy “competition”. call it what it is you so called “career theorists” and “hr “. But It’s really abuse . They know it. They don’t care. As long as it’s not happening to them. As long as they are included in the clique. As long as they bully you and tell you/ treat you like shit. Unprofessional, immature behavior, toxic behavior-- and saying “yes, this field is highly competitive” I hope she and people like her get their karma in life for their abuse of other people.
Toxicity is personal, for reach of these behaviors falls on a spectrum for us. This is why I think it's important to acknowledge someone's experience. If it was toxic for you, it was toxic for you. You decide what that is for you. TBH I would expect a therapist to know this.
How do you know that the therapist is actually abusive? None of us here were here to witness the conversation. Perhaps the way you were explaining it made her think that it was an issue of competition, not toxicity. Also, regardless of your opinion of her, she is a therapist. She went through the training. Does that mean that she is a decent one? No. Nonetheless, she studied to be a therapist.
Possibly she was using the word ‘competitive’ to highlight how negative some environments can be but your word ‘toxic’ clashed with that. It’s always a good idea to clarify to someone that they have misunderstood because you’re also making some assumptions about what she meant even though you have the right to feel the way you do. Therapists are human, we sometimes get things wrong but mostly, we’re in our profession to help and support others. I hope you’re in a better place in your life now
Amen Jennifer. Quitting isn’t a sign of failure when it involves making a difficult, sometimes scary, decision to take back control over your life and happiness. I have two+ months notice to go (sadly), but I will leave my confinement at the corporate equivalent of the Truman show soon enough. Took 3 months to realise it was Toxic AF… and a further 3 months to rationalise my way through this list basically (these are all so true). But nah, I’m out!!!
When I was working in a toxic job environment where I was being treated horribly at first I just sort of felt a sense of shock, numbness and paralysis as it felt impossible for me to process what I was going through, followed by a lot of self-blame and self-scrutiny at what I was doing "wrong" to "deserve" this treatment. (Of course, the gaslighting helped with that.) It was after that when the "I'm not a quitter, I'm going to show them and do better and survive this treatment" kicked in. When even my best efforts were met with more criticism and abuse, that's when I began to realize that the problem was with them, not me, and that I couldn't fight individuals who in a more powerful position than me from making my daily life a hell and cut my losses.
Wow Stephen- I can totally relate to all the feelings you went through. I tried harder just like you thinking I could fix it- only to realize I was just in a horrible situation. My biggest problem now is- I don’t have a spouse that gets the mental torture I experienced- believes I need to let it go, etc, etc. And I have to hide the abuse I experienced and the trauma from it at my new job- I smile and carry on and I pretend that nothing ever happened to me- I have no one to speak to about it all. I tell myself when my head says “no one” that I have God. I’m in my head trying to heal from the abuse and fear all the time.
@@jmk2530 Stephen and JMK- I have experienced probably all of the circumstances and thoughts you both shared! Wow, its incredible our stories are so similar. Sometimes I start to blame myself again but if I am able to become aware of my thoughts, I tell myself to “stop gaslighting yourself.”. I, too, at first thought it was my fault for receiving ill treatment at my current job of 3 years but now, recently in the last year or so, I’ve realized no matter what I do or how good of an employee I am it doesn’t change their poor treatment of me. And my BF, even though he doesn’t outright say it, is surely sick of hearing me ramble on about it. Lately he has begun to tell me to just let it go or he only half listens before changing the subject. I know its not fair to him but I have no-one else and feel alone in my struggle. NOONE but YOU will ever know exactly what you’ve been through and how it made you feel or affected you. There is a Turkish proverb that goes: “The flame will burn only the place it landed”- meaning only You who are experiencing a situation will know how it feels and the personal affects. Try your best to put away money and start a job search. This type of situation will only get worse. Their underhanded remarks and demeaning, gossip, etc. will only escalate. Sometimes I wish I could be “laid off” for budgetary reasons so I can collect unemployment and just rest my weary mind for a bit before I head into another job. The worst part is I feel so badly about myself and distrustful of future employers that I am scared to apply to new jobs.
@@bonniebunny25 I feel you. My partner too doesn't understand. Toxic jobs really kill your self esteem and you feel like you can never leave. I feel that way too.
I was a first-year teacher in a toxic workplace and underperforming school. I didn't quit my job because it was my first professional job. I was let go and then unfairly and unofficially dismissed at the end of the year. I knew from the start I was not wanted or needed; no matter how well I performed or how positive a change I made, I was disposable to them. They can have their twisted sense of authority and friendship, they can have their money. I know there is no such thing as an authentic mask, I know that you cannot eat money. I know what is good and what is good for me. I let them go and took hold of my future elsewhere; I am grateful it only took a year of my time. Giving my resume out to people I want to work with, to interests I want to pursue and keep, is worth every piece and every peace of me.
Totally agree also. I think employers are the biggest losers because when you do Knowledge Transfer for example you will only be motivated to share the bare minimum as is required of you. I think its better to also make it clear when you leave that your next job will take up all your time and will not be able to provide support after you leave even if it means ignoring co-workers you have developed a personal relationship with. You have left the Job so its better to not waste your time. Of course do this all as amicably as possible.
@@AnthonyManzioActually, that's not entirely true. Sometimes, holding on can be more dangerous than letting go. So, sometimes, the best way to protect your personal peace & peace of mind is to WALK AWAY.
I stayed in a job for many years because I wouldn't be able to match that compensation elsewhere. I eventually decided it wasn't worth my life and I didn't want another high-powered stressful job to replace the one I have. I'm changing industries and looking at jobs paying a third of what I get now. On the plus side, I've always kept my cost of living low and socked away money for financial freedom. I can easily afford a lower paying job and not skimp on a healthy retirement in a few years.
Your RUclips info is amazing. I was harassed and ill treated at an office I worked at a year ago. I was then let go under the pretense of workplace reduction. I had never been so poorly treated by anyone or any workplace like that. I was completely traumatized by the whole incident and still have some residual fear and anxiety from it all- doesn’t help that I’m slightly introverted. I didn’t know what I had gone through until I researched and read anything I could find to heal myself-because this is something that makes you feel embarassed, makes you lose your confidence, something that others would think you deserved. Anyway, thank you for this video series. For the longest time, I thought this was a problem that only I had. But I’ve understood that this problem is wide spread. Your information will help a lot of people- even me , a year out, even though I’m somewhat healed, I still get PTSD and videos like your help- because I’m listening to something I can completely relate to. Thank you.
This is such a powerful story ♥️ I'm sure even by telling it you can help others! So crazy feeling like you are the only one it could happen to, I'm so glad it's better a year on x
I went through something similar, and when I quit I felt such immediate relief, but as time goes on my personality seems so changed. That line, "Others would think you deserved it" is harrowing. I feel hate now. It's like I can see in the dark. Most people enable evil.
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know' - It's the reason most people don't look for another job, unless you take the risk, you'll never know and could regret it in the future.
All of these applied to me for the last nine years. Please leave your job. I didn't and became suicidal. Wish this video had been around years ago. Money was a big factor. $
I stuck with a toxic job knowing that they would set me up to get fired just so that I could get unemployment to hold me over while I looked for another job. It took a toll on my mental health but I had zero savings so I stuck it out while planning my next move. Under the same circumstances I would have made the same decision again… unfortunately.
Me, too, but in my case, it was retirement and then I got another job somewhere else for more money. I was also instrumental in running the toxic boss out of the workplace a year or two before I got out and that made things better, but not better enough to stay! I did not have to bother with unemployment because my last day was Friday and I started the new job on the following Monday.
@@JenniferBrick kind of a mixed bag. I've avoided signing a PIP since March, and after 3 previous interactions with HR over this matter, I'm about the have meeting number 4 today. They keep saying they won't talk to me about my concerns until I sign it, yet they keep calling me, and giving me permission to record the conversation. Today will probably conclude this interesting saga.
Considerable number of people out there doesn't even have one month worth of living saved as a rainy day fund. Sadly this keeping them enslaved in their miserable jobs & toxic working places forever.
Let's also consider that in certain areas, pandemic restrictions may have contributed to the desperate condition of some people's finances. You can't save if you're not working. I was furloughed, and a trip to the ER nearly wiped out my savings, which was more than just a couple of months worth. I went back to work, but it took awhile before I could rebuild my savings since I had my usual bills to pay as well.
I had someone tell me "money isn't everything" I told them it is when you are barely surviving. Those who make insensitive comments like that should spend a year in the poor person's shoes. Having a 1 year emergency fund is essential to riding a bad job experience & is necessary to leaving a toxic work environment. I had to cash out my retirement but I am glad I left my toxic job of 13 years, it was not worth staying that long
I believe the main, #1 reason people stay in a toxic job is simply because they have to, or rather, for the health insurance. As most companies make you wait 60-90 days for coverage to kick in, there is absolutely no way to leave your current job and experience a gap in health care if you or a family member has health issues. You can't exactly tell little Suzie, "sorry kid, no insulin for 90 days...tough it out." This is one of the biggest problems with employment in America, health care being tied to your employment and, having to wait any amount of time for coverage once you begin your new job. Until we separate health care from employment, or, demand all employers make health care available from day one this will always be a hurdle. Gee, its almost as if the system were designed as a form of accepted wage slavery.
Because of the pandemic, I was furloughed, strung along and finally my position was eliminated. While I was looking because the environment was mildly toxic, this gave me the kick in the butt to do some things. I think they actually did me a favor in a way.
My thoughts: the universe gives us nudges and when we don't follow it gives us a shove. I hope this brings you onto a path with a job you love, Stephanie!
This video landed in my feed at an interesting time. You described so many of the conversations and questions I’ve had with myself for the last year. I struggled… hard. However, when I was journaling about my situation (helps me sort through my thoughts) I thought I was asking the right questions… about money and opportunity. However, I had one more variable - my health. The stress impacted me physically in a terrible way. So all those choices about money and opportunity really boiled down to a choice of money or my health… and it wasn’t a choice… it was a conclusion. I gave notice last week.
ABSOLUTELY!!! After all, sometimes, the best way of protecting your own personal peace & self-worth, isn't by pulling certain people & things into your life, but by PUSHING CERTAIN PEOPLE & THINGS OUT OF IT!!!
Jennifer - when you said if you decide that money is what matters - it's no longer an excuse it's a decision...I jumped out of my chair! This sentence is so empowering. Because you are so right, there is no right or wrong answer - it's simply a choice you're making. Aaagggh! So good. Thanks for this video and for all the hard work you put into making sure that peeps are getting the help they need after leaving a toxic environment.
My job turned toxic about 9 months ago. I just got the great news that the new manager who caused the toxic environment just quit! 😊 I talked to corporate HR about the toxic situation 3 months ago and they sounded like they were totally on my side! (I wasn’t the only employee complaining about her.) I just got lucky and outlasted her because everyone complained about her.
@@Creznour in my case they really didn’t have a choice but to side with me. Their main function and job is to prevent a lawsuit and I had a very strong case for Retaliation and creation of a hostile work environment against two members of their management team.
What do you advise for someone who wants to quit desperately - has been burned out for years - stresses out - neck pain, stomach pain exhaustion… however - no one supports your dream to start a business or make a career change ☹️ Parents spouse etc want you to stay in safe corporate job. So now you have self doubt and fear. Feeling TRAPPED 😦
It's definitely time for me to quit my dead-end job. 🙄 SO MANY things wrong with this organization--the ship is "literally" sinking. Now that we're (dangerously) short staffed, things will only get worse! I seriously doubt they're any employer(s) capable of matching my current salary.
Ride that bitch to the bottom and get ALL your money. That's what I'd do. They are all shit jobs anyway. Don't let them bully you, get a little crazy, they'll back down usually.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.....
another way to look at it is many times, it’s got to do with self sabotaging moves. 1) you don’t build an emergency fund for in between jobs situation, which means you are potentially putting yourself at risk 2) you try to think “positive” by ignoring the signs of toxic environment until one day u are forced to go and it hits u hard and painful. 3) you live day by day and paycheck to paycheck without planning ahead for more options in life. as the old saying goes “ failing to plan is planning to fail” 4) you do not upskill yourself continuously at your own time. when u have more skills u have less worry about getting the next job 5) you do not know when to quit and move on to a place that is better align with your career goals and ideal working environment There is no perfect job in the world, afterall jobs are not created to fit U perfectly. Jobs are created for business needs and to serve stakeholders. It’s many times hard to find a good job but you need to identify your own base line, is compromising health worth it? Are you leading an unrealistic high maintenance lifestyle? If you accept to be miserable at work, then why are u passing ur misery to people around you? Be honest with yourself, make plans and take bold painful moves so u can open up more options in life. It’s better to make painful move for potential better job than to do nth and stay in painful place forever..
It is one of the best company that pay and benefits are better than other companies. Saying that I have worked in my current company for 20 plus years. The lack of capabilities of Managers have always frustrated me and being passed on the promotion in terms of favouritism is demotivating and the thought of leaving played in my mind for so many times. I am a bit late for change at 50 plus years but recently again thinking of quitting and looking for another job. But what stops me from quitting is, eventhough I look 20 years younger than my age and can take on any challenges the lack of confidence due to my age prevents me from applying for other jobs.
I did leave. Went to a job that was 10 times worse. So I went back to where I was. Now…..with the insurance, my pay, and past experiences when I left and came back….I give up.
"And remember, when you decide that the money is what matters, it's no longer an excuse, it's a decision". This is why my toxic work environment reminds me of an old abusive relationship. I heard this quote back then and it hit me hard...concerning abusive relationships> "once you KNOW, you're no longer a victim, but a VOLUNTEER". I know I should quit, I look back and should have walked out during a few times when the harassment and discrimination was more obvious. I'm afraid of staying until I get fired. I did call HR, just to get a question about hours answered but it's turned into me sharing too much about the sneaky ways my manager does things. Now, I feel like I'm the one in hot water. :(
That pay check that comes in handy every 2 weeks. But yes there are other jobs. For me I know I could go work somewhere else in my same profession, but i worry about learning a whole new format for doing things. I’m also proud of myself for working full time in a pharmacy all though out last year, the overtime and masks, learning how to conduct covid tests last fall. Some part of me thinks my company appreciates all this work, but the sad fact is they don’t. Changing jobs is almost certainly the best thing for me but there are a lot of reasons I’m afraid.
Start with the basics: login to LinkedIn and update a section in your profile, dust off your resume, or simply research companies you would be interested in working for. Momentum grows through actions.
I only made strides when I would physically limit my time/exposure in the building. Otherwise every day was a horrorshow and I wasted my time trying to recover from the insults or gaslighting of yesterday. I also got fake hearing aides i would put in when the gossips and trashtalkers went for an audience. They are a cesspool, and you need to decrease the viral load you are carrying being in their proximity. I couldn't think straight or make a plan until I was out of there and walking on every break, smiling at strangers. The plan will come when the lightness returns to your step, when you would never dream of tossing your pearls before the pigs who love to trample.
Might have missed it, but I think a major reason why some stay at the job they hate is "the devil you know" scenario. I think you touched on this idea a peripherally. For instance, I am looking to move from my current job to the IT field. I would have to take a $2 cut minimum from 19.86 to 17/hr. Money is involved as well, yes. But a larger factor is, "am I leaving one devil for a worse and poorer paying devil"?
I can't because I can't make the Interviews. I have to request the time off on paper and get it approved. By the time I get my approval it's 2 days later and I've missed the interview. Called in but had to do it so much I got written up with an ultimatum. I pretty much have to leave.
I used to think I can't quit my job because of the paycheck until I realized if I stayed there any longer the costs in therapy fees I would end up paying would be more than just taking a lower-paying less stressful job somewhere else. The decision to stay or quit is up to each individual for sure but working in business and learning some basics in economics has kind of opened my eyes to the fact that what you are getting paid in money might not be worth what you have to exchange in other valuable things in your life beyond time.
The reason I stayed so long at my previous job that I hated was that they kept paying me money money and, as such, my lifestyle grew more expressive. I moved into a more expressive apartment. Quitting would mean likely taking a pay cut and I wouldn't be able to afford my rent. I eventually did quit and I'm making more money than I did then. But it's scary giving up something that is keeping you and your family afloat even when you hate it
What if your being micromanaged boss always checking your work and the blame game if something goes wrong. I've noticed all my other coworkers work doesn't get checked at the end of the shift. Can you give me advice on what should I do😡😡😡😡
💵 - I’m currently making big life changes to create a savings, largely for this reason. I’m in my third career job where I’ve found myself pigeonholed into the “immediate” business needs, resulting in my expertise being applied to mundane tasks that don’t empower me as an employee or a job candidate in my field. Ive found that each time I was stuck until a new job was accepted because I have no savings to support me. This led to a dramatic shift in my life so that I don’t fall into the same scenario again. Now Im focusing on my finances and reorganization, like trading in my dream car for a practical car to save money, as well as focusing on thorough job research and not accepting “any” position. Im also considering entrepreneurship because Im tired of working for companies that don’t care about their employees to any extent beyond the paycheck. Thanks Career Bestie!
I have enough in my savings, almost 2 years of my annual salary to quit but I dont want to do anything impulsive and just quit as that may make me look bad on interviews, plus I have pretty bad anxiety. I am submitting applications for other jobs right now. Only thing is it's for municipal positions and the government runs on government time lol.
I've been dragging my feet at leaving because I'm a single mom of 3 living off my pay. Now I'm paying for the delay. Repetitive use of my right arm at work caused an issue in my shoulder that I'm now getting physical therapy for and seeing a doctor to figure out what kind of damage there is. I lost a week of pay that the company isn't compensating me for and though I'm on modified duty now, I don't know that I can continue like I was before. I'm going to put in my notice as soon as I'm better.
My reason for not quitting (yet) is because I love my job, I care a lot about the projects I'm working on, and I'm really good at it. I'm so conflicted then, because I am DONE with upper management and their childish, abusive behavior. Entire departments have quit en masse because of the treatment they have received throughout a difficult project. My worry is that my skills are very niche and might not carry over to a different company, in which case I would basically have to start at the bottom again. I'm in my mid 40s. I'm tired of being at the bottom. I'm a senior designer at my current job, although I'm not getting paid for that role. The whole thing sucks and I feel trapped.
I quit my job at a CPA firm to deliver food, and I have no regrets. 😁. Sometimes the better job is not the better job. And I get more time with my wife and children.
Money is a valid reason to not up and quit. Have you stumbled upon Bill Benoist's channel? He has great videos on age discrimination and job search (and his channel is just great in general).
I waited and got fired during the Pandemic. It sucked bc I knew should’ve tried to leave 6 months earlier. I messed up the equal job bc I was nervous in the interview. My former boss started blocking everything that my coworkers there my way bc they were pissed I was fired. I was the most knowledgeable on my team. My boss was a hater though.
This scenario is an excellent reminder to invest wisely and be smart with your dollars so that you can make your own decisions and not feel trapped. I can identify with those who feel trapped, that was me 12 years ago.
I am literally the babysitter in my family and feel that if i dont stay at my job (a toxic one) then ill have to put up with that ( i live their ) they wont take no for an answer.
I love your videos and I believe you do a great job of telling viewers abs subscribers how things go or should be in the workplace. I look at a job the sane way they look at an employee. It is business. Go to work, do my job (stay ahead on my work) and go home.
I just resigned from a job that pays very well (overpaid) to a lower paying job but in a reputable company that looks after its people. My previous job in a start up company ticked all the signs of a toxic culture. It will entail lifestyle changes but I made the decision for long term investment in my career.
Thanks for the video Jennifer. May I ask how do you differentiate if you are leaving a toxic workplace for mental health or you are not being "career resilient" enough to endure in the environment? I have unsupportive superiors and the environment is a fault finding one. I have been in the role for close to 2 years and when i look out for new jobs, recruiters are asking why I am leaving in a short period of time.
Continued working with long COVID symptoms because of ‘not a quitter mindset’ and worry about financial independence.. finally let go and feeling relieved.. health comes first😊
I got a new job but I'm so afraid to take this job because I think it maybe toxic as well. The reviews are bad but a bit old. But I need out of my current toxic environment and this new job team seem to be open minded and changing. So I want to give them a chance and keep revamping my skills. I feel damaged.
Since all my jobs have been temporary via employment agencies, you don't always know when you going to get push or when the work dries up as you usually have one project to work on.
My job is really toxic and I’ve dealt with it for so long but I am scared to leave and try something new because I am comfortable there and I keep telling myself maybe they’ll change and maybe it will get better I tried to quit but my manager convinces me telling me how much of a good worker I am I really don’t know what to do! The money is good as well and I’m just scared to start over
I think my biggest issue besides money now is that I feel like I'm only capable of working in customer service, but that doesn't work for me as being abused and sexually harrassed on a regular basis really does a number on my PTSD. I feel stuck, and I don't know how to move up, or if I will ever move up.
Customer service is so hard, but it has so many transitional skills. Go onto linkedin and use the advanced search in "Past Postion" put your current job title. You can see where people move to and different career directions.
I agreed with everything in this video. I know I can work with everyone butttttt should I?!? So, I quit my job this week. Bc I knew I could work with my boss but didnt want to. he wasn't nice and had extremely high expectations within days. Found it unfair and unrealistic.
This is not a pandemic problem- the pandemic may have showed how toxic workplaces are. However, this problem of toxic workplace has existed way before- I wasn’t really aware of it til it happened to me. It’s sad for me to say but we are modern day slaves; abused by other human beings- sincerely working and yet being ill treated,
The pandemic out a spotlight on a lot of our problems as a society. I also think the trauma and stress it caused individually pushed what we're willing to accept as individuals. I have a lot of hope for the future, both because enlightened company's are shifting, but also because employees have choices in where they work 💜
$$$ - 20 months away from a pension. Managing a team of 6 and have waited for things to improve for over 11 years. They haven't and I'm disengaged. Planning for career after my current toxic job.
In my situation, I’d say it’s both. It’s good to have a reasonable wage (proportional to your skills and experience), but job satisfaction comes into the equation here. There really needs to be a balance of both I think
@@JenniferBrick thanks! :). I’ve been in more than my fair share of toxic workplaces and dealt with more than my fair share of toxic people. In fact, I’m in a toxic workplace right now that I’m escaping now as we speak!
To be honest I am scare to take the next step to the unknown. The pay is not the greatest plus is a very unprofessional environment with high gossip staffing. Why do I stay? I don't know 😕
What is the scariest part of the unknown. Write that down. Then get curious... Why is it scary? What's the worst that could happen? What's the best that could happen? What are the realistic probabilities?
I'm new to your channel and just wondering based on all the toxic workplace topics I see what happened in your career that brought you here to talk so much about toxic jobs? I'd just like to know your history a little.
It probably makes more sense when you know by education I'm a criminologist; my view of understanding the world has always been through deviance. When I started my channel, I wanted to focus on the gap I found when I needed resources: navigating politics, drama and obstacles at work - and the more I've spoken about toxic jobs, worked with toxic job escapees and survivors, and dove into the topic, the more I realize the dramatic impacts and complexities and that no one else is talking about it... so I've ended up talking about it a lot so when someone needs a resource they can find it.
So Jennifer, is the “deviance” that you see coming from the behavior of the worker or the workplace? Im so traumatized now by dealing with evil people that I’m wondering which party is primarily causing “deviance” according to your opinion. I don’t know if you have a video of “why” there are toxic workplaces- if not, can you please make one? Thank you.
@@JenniferBrick and we appreciate your videos, thank you from the heart, it doesn't hurt that you are hott either! Lol! Keep up the great videos, we need this!
I’ll leave when I’m ready to go. I love what I do even though some of my coworkers make me miserable. I used to get bullied for YEARS as a kid and have even been hospitalized from the bullying. I’m an adult now and refuse to let people at work put me out of my misery lol
Money, but then again uts also my biggest motivator to leave as im currently paid less than the 25% for my position despite regularly getting praises for my work. Cant really say it was a bad deal, I moved up in a line of work you dont expect to move up in and the original job got me out of a job that had me considering suicide. This job was always merely a stepping stone and it's beyond time i take another step.
I stayed in a toxic environment, persevered until the toxic people left the workplace. Then i missed out on a promotion and then persevered ahainst that despite dying inside. Now everyone is nice and its actually ok but the baggage is in my mind and i still cant be happy. I am stuck cause its not so bad and a lot better than before.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.hhh
Have you given yourself one of these excuses?
I absolutely did and still make all of these excuses. But, the last toxic job I had, I quit before having another job, because it was sooooo bad.
I BEEN THREW THIS AND MORE.....I have a story to tell for sure. In the end two of left the department and the a third person left two months later. A previous employee who was fired for standing up for herself is not a Art director at another company. What is crazy is only women who where harassed at this company.
Like... Insurance 🙂
💰💰💰
"I'm not a quitter" and "I need the money"... Mostly I need the money. Also, "It's not that bad."
My biggest fear about looking for a new job is that it might be even more toxic than my current one. 😔
@BURGERKING TERNI yeah I learned from my peers that the issues I face at my company is extremely common at most companies. It’s not that bad per se but I just gotta watch my back. Hopefully I can do something on my own someday.
Out of the frying pan into the fire as it were
There is always a chance but what you have now that you didn't have before is knowledge. You have learned from the toxic jobs you have gone through will help you see toxic jobs in the future. If I had listened to my instincts I would never have taken the job offer from my last job which was by far the most toxic I have ever had. But what I learned is that I value so many other things so much more than money and it is not worth it to jump into a new job because it looks like the only option that might come my way. I can't say I never will again but I have made an active decision to only apply for jobs that offer at least the bare minimum of what I need to set myself up for the next step up and to not jump at something just because I feel I have to now.
the person interviewing me for the new job, was the toxic person on the new job.
Grass is never greener on that side just more cow shit
"I am not a quitter" hit home. My boss has been impossible to deal with for the past 2 years and I swore I would stick it out because I have a son and I need the income and he wont make me quit. Now I have 60 days before he lets me go. I should have left sooner but lesson learned on my end. For anyone reading this, don't do what I did. The second it starts to get toxic, start looking for something else.
You don't know how blessed you are to had been let go because they could have just strung you along.
@@0206-b8z You know what, that is very true!
Having that run room to find your next move and that the universe has forced your hand at an exit, I think they're both going to get you on the path to where you should be in a better work environment.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Brandon!
Thank you Evie- I made a similar mistake- I didn’t realize that I was in with people who were stabbing me in the back until the very end.
You can get unemployment! You’re lucky because they never give notice
Yup, I've preached my golden handcuffs sermon for years. Now money is NOT my driving force anymore. Peace has become PRICELESS to me. With that, I'm working on my exit as we speak.
I suffer from "It's not that bad" and "Self Doubt" - my confidence has taken a very big hit over the past 4 years.
“It’s not that bad”. Boy do I tell myself that all the time....I have hated my job for a long time, but every time I come on RUclips and see those videos of slums in Kenya, Bangladesh or somewhere else, I say maybe I have it good....Then Sunday night comes around like a nightmare on Elm Street.
Lol this was me 😂😂😂
Don't lie to yourself.
I consider quitting like firing your boss instead the other way around
Haha, I love this because it's true!
I think staff should be allowed to fire a boss if they are incompetent
@@matthewsmith2787 i agree.
I'm nearly 60 years old, and so tired of working. I'm so over the BS.
@@JenniferBrickAbsolutely, b/c if there's anything I've learned through bitter experiences is that, sometimes, the best way to protect your own personal peace & self-worth, isn't by bringing certain things into your life, but by PUSHING CERTAIN THINGS AWAY
While in the wrong job, search for the right job. The wrong job will help you get the right job.
I so agree with you, Rob! Even the wrong job is a stepping stone.
Yes. And the one main bright side to having the wrong job is that, while you've been pondering your life choices at work and identifying what's wrong about your job situation, you now have a much clearer definition of what the "right" job is.
Yes, "I can't afford it" is a huge issue. Excellent content as always, Jennifer!
If you have any videos you'd suggest that would help people with this feel free to drop a link in here!
I have been listening to her for 2 days now. And am amazed at how incredibly relevant, INSIGHTFUL and useful her videos are. She is amazing!
💰 biggest block was the fear of not being able to afford to live. Thankfully a coworker encouraged me to apply for a better job. In a much better situation with an amazing company now.
That's awesome to hear, Peter!
Thank God for that kind coworker.
@@JenniferBrick Bad advice. Never quit to let the lazy bully win.
Your videos helped give me the confidence to finally leave my toxic job, i was soo depressed I used to cry before every shift so I finally took the step to leave. and yes, I've had a small pay cut, but I'm soooo happy now! I've found a company who are organised, professional and the most down to earth people that actually value my opinion ❤❤ looking back, I wish I left sooner lol and now I've left, other people from the same job are leaving now too 😅
OMG I'm soooo happy for you!!
Do you mind if I share a screenshot of your comment to show people the other side of leaving a toxic job?
@@JenniferBrick yes of course! Go for it 😁
There's also the "tried to leave, had hundreds of interviews, but no one else would hire me, so I better make the most of what I have" mindset. Or the "I've been here much longer than the boss (bosses have lasted 2-3 years tops and employee is on 6th or 7th boss at same workplace due to the bosses either retiring/being moved/being fired by their bosses/etc.), I'll outlast this one, too" mindset. This is especially attractive when you've had some good bosses and some toxic bosses at the same workplace.
Well said!
The good bosses are you follow in future
I know 3 people that kept saying "I'll never make what I do here." or some such salary issue. They got fired or layed off and 2 found better paying jobs in a few months and the other changed careers making about the same but was much happier.
Yes! Unless you're extraordinarily overpaid, it's a myth that you need to take a paycut to escape.
I saw a tweet that said "my job no longer haunts me in my downtime" and I think about it often
I was speaking to a “therapist” in my field- and when I mentioned the toxic workplace I was in, she said that yes, it’s a highly “competitive” field, I was so angry that she would call a toxic workplace “competitive” as if the problem was I couldn’t deal with competition/ I was incapable of keeping up/ I did not play dirty.
This isn’t competition. This is not healthy “competition”.
call it what it is you so called “career theorists” and “hr “. But It’s really abuse .
They know it. They don’t care. As long as it’s not happening to them. As long as they are included in the clique. As long as they bully you and tell you/ treat you like shit.
Unprofessional, immature behavior, toxic behavior-- and saying “yes, this field is highly competitive”
I hope she and people like her get their karma in life for their abuse of other people.
Toxicity is personal, for reach of these behaviors falls on a spectrum for us.
This is why I think it's important to acknowledge someone's experience. If it was toxic for you, it was toxic for you. You decide what that is for you. TBH I would expect a therapist to know this.
'As long as it's not happening to them'
That right there is unfortunately the mindset of too many people today in work. Even 'good' people.
How do you know that the therapist is actually abusive? None of us here were here to witness the conversation. Perhaps the way you were explaining it made her think that it was an issue of competition, not toxicity. Also, regardless of your opinion of her, she is a therapist. She went through the training. Does that mean that she is a decent one? No. Nonetheless, she studied to be a therapist.
I hear you loud n clear, and relate big time.
Possibly she was using the word ‘competitive’ to highlight how negative some environments can be but your word ‘toxic’ clashed with that. It’s always a good idea to clarify to someone that they have misunderstood because you’re also making some assumptions about what she meant even though you have the right to feel the way you do. Therapists are human, we sometimes get things wrong but mostly, we’re in our profession to help and support others. I hope you’re in a better place in your life now
Amen Jennifer. Quitting isn’t a sign of failure when it involves making a difficult, sometimes scary, decision to take back control over your life and happiness.
I have two+ months notice to go (sadly), but I will leave my confinement at the corporate equivalent of the Truman show soon enough. Took 3 months to realise it was Toxic AF… and a further 3 months to rationalise my way through this list basically (these are all so true). But nah, I’m out!!!
When I was working in a toxic job environment where I was being treated horribly at first I just sort of felt a sense of shock, numbness and paralysis as it felt impossible for me to process what I was going through, followed by a lot of self-blame and self-scrutiny at what I was doing "wrong" to "deserve" this treatment. (Of course, the gaslighting helped with that.) It was after that when the "I'm not a quitter, I'm going to show them and do better and survive this treatment" kicked in. When even my best efforts were met with more criticism and abuse, that's when I began to realize that the problem was with them, not me, and that I couldn't fight individuals who in a more powerful position than me from making my daily life a hell and cut my losses.
Wow Stephen- I can totally relate to all the feelings you went through. I tried harder just like you thinking I could fix it- only to realize I was just in a horrible situation.
My biggest problem now is- I don’t have a spouse that gets the mental torture I experienced- believes I need to let it go, etc, etc.
And I have to hide the abuse I experienced and the trauma from it at my new job- I smile and carry on and I pretend that nothing ever happened to me- I have no one to speak to about it all. I tell myself when my head says “no one” that I have God.
I’m in my head trying to heal from the abuse and fear all the time.
@@jmk2530 Stephen and JMK- I have experienced probably all of the circumstances and thoughts you both shared! Wow, its incredible our stories are so similar. Sometimes I start to blame myself again but if I am able to become aware of my thoughts, I tell myself to “stop gaslighting yourself.”. I, too, at first thought it was my fault for receiving ill treatment at my current job of 3 years but now, recently in the last year or so, I’ve realized no matter what I do or how good of an employee I am it doesn’t change their poor treatment of me. And my BF, even though he doesn’t outright say it, is surely sick of hearing me ramble on about it. Lately he has begun to tell me to just let it go or he only half listens before changing the subject. I know its not fair to him but I have no-one else and feel alone in my struggle. NOONE but YOU will ever know exactly what you’ve been through and how it made you feel or affected you. There is a Turkish proverb that goes: “The flame will burn only the place it landed”- meaning only You who are experiencing a situation will know how it feels and the personal affects. Try your best to put away money and start a job search. This type of situation will only get worse. Their underhanded remarks and demeaning, gossip, etc. will only escalate. Sometimes I wish I could be “laid off” for budgetary reasons so I can collect unemployment and just rest my weary mind for a bit before I head into another job. The worst part is I feel so badly about myself and distrustful of future employers that I am scared to apply to new jobs.
@@bonniebunny25 I feel you. My partner too doesn't understand. Toxic jobs really kill your self esteem and you feel like you can never leave. I feel that way too.
This was so powerful and very relatable 💕
I was a first-year teacher in a toxic workplace and underperforming school. I didn't quit my job because it was my first professional job. I was let go and then unfairly and unofficially dismissed at the end of the year. I knew from the start I was not wanted or needed; no matter how well I performed or how positive a change I made, I was disposable to them. They can have their twisted sense of authority and friendship, they can have their money. I know there is no such thing as an authentic mask, I know that you cannot eat money. I know what is good and what is good for me. I let them go and took hold of my future elsewhere; I am grateful it only took a year of my time. Giving my resume out to people I want to work with, to interests I want to pursue and keep, is worth every piece and every peace of me.
When you leave a toxic workplace leave on good terms despite the crap going on there. If you quit in anger...they win
Totally agree with you!
@@JenniferBrick thanks for replying. This is from my actual experience. 🙌💪
Totally agree also. I think employers are the biggest losers because when you do Knowledge Transfer for example you will only be motivated to share the bare minimum as is required of you. I think its better to also make it clear when you leave that your next job will take up all your time and will not be able to provide support after you leave even if it means ignoring co-workers you have developed a personal relationship with. You have left the Job so its better to not waste your time. Of course do this all as amicably as possible.
Never quit big mistake
@@AnthonyManzioActually, that's not entirely true. Sometimes, holding on can be more dangerous than letting go. So, sometimes, the best way to protect your personal peace & peace of mind is to WALK AWAY.
When your boss says fleas are not a big deal, bed bugs are much worse, it's a good indicator that leaving is the right decision.
Oh my god noooooo 😂relativity is not a solid argument 😂
I stayed in a job for many years because I wouldn't be able to match that compensation elsewhere. I eventually decided it wasn't worth my life and I didn't want another high-powered stressful job to replace the one I have. I'm changing industries and looking at jobs paying a third of what I get now. On the plus side, I've always kept my cost of living low and socked away money for financial freedom. I can easily afford a lower paying job and not skimp on a healthy retirement in a few years.
"its no longer an excuse, it's a decision" love that 💯🔥
Your RUclips info is amazing. I was harassed and ill treated at an office I worked at a year ago. I was then let go under the pretense of workplace reduction. I had never been so poorly treated by anyone or any workplace like that. I was completely traumatized by the whole incident and still have some residual fear and anxiety from it all- doesn’t help that I’m slightly introverted. I didn’t know what I had gone through until I researched and read anything I could find to heal myself-because this is something that makes you feel embarassed, makes you lose your confidence, something that others would think you deserved.
Anyway, thank you for this video series. For the longest time, I thought this was a problem that only I had. But I’ve understood that this problem is wide spread. Your information will help a lot of people- even me , a year out, even though I’m somewhat healed, I still get PTSD and videos like your help- because I’m listening to something I can completely relate to. Thank you.
This is such a powerful story ♥️ I'm sure even by telling it you can help others! So crazy feeling like you are the only one it could happen to, I'm so glad it's better a year on x
I went through something similar, and when I quit I felt such immediate relief, but as time goes on my personality seems so changed. That line, "Others would think you deserved it" is harrowing. I feel hate now. It's like I can see in the dark. Most people enable evil.
Thankyou for your time and input on this,I can relate to this so much.
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know' - It's the reason most people don't look for another job, unless you take the risk, you'll never know and could regret it in the future.
All of these applied to me for the last nine years. Please leave your job. I didn't and became suicidal. Wish this video had been around years ago. Money was a big factor. $
I stuck with a toxic job knowing that they would set me up to get fired just so that I could get unemployment to hold me over while I looked for another job. It took a toll on my mental health but I had zero savings so I stuck it out while planning my next move. Under the same circumstances I would have made the same decision again… unfortunately.
Me, too. It was awful to go through, but without the unemployment, I would have been in a bad position last year.
Me, too, but in my case, it was retirement and then I got another job somewhere else for more money. I was also instrumental in running the toxic boss out of the workplace a year or two before I got out and that made things better, but not better enough to stay! I did not have to bother with unemployment because my last day was Friday and I started the new job on the following Monday.
It's like you're watching my life unfold in real time
I hope that's a good thing and not a bad thing 🙃😳
@@JenniferBrick kind of a mixed bag. I've avoided signing a PIP since March, and after 3 previous interactions with HR over this matter, I'm about the have meeting number 4 today. They keep saying they won't talk to me about my concerns until I sign it, yet they keep calling me, and giving me permission to record the conversation. Today will probably conclude this interesting saga.
Considerable number of people out there doesn't even have one month worth of living saved as a rainy day fund. Sadly this keeping them enslaved in their miserable jobs & toxic working places forever.
Let's also consider that in certain areas, pandemic restrictions may have contributed to the desperate condition of some people's finances. You can't save if you're not working. I was furloughed, and a trip to the ER nearly wiped out my savings, which was more than just a couple of months worth. I went back to work, but it took awhile before I could rebuild my savings since I had my usual bills to pay as well.
I had someone tell me "money isn't everything" I told them it is when you are barely surviving. Those who make insensitive comments like that should spend a year in the poor person's shoes.
Having a 1 year emergency fund is essential to riding a bad job experience & is necessary to leaving a toxic work environment. I had to cash out my retirement but I am glad I left my toxic job of 13 years, it was not worth staying that long
I believe the main, #1 reason people stay in a toxic job is simply because they have to, or rather, for the health insurance. As most companies make you wait 60-90 days for coverage to kick in, there is absolutely no way to leave your current job and experience a gap in health care if you or a family member has health issues. You can't exactly tell little Suzie, "sorry kid, no insulin for 90 days...tough it out." This is one of the biggest problems with employment in America, health care being tied to your employment and, having to wait any amount of time for coverage once you begin your new job. Until we separate health care from employment, or, demand all employers make health care available from day one this will always be a hurdle. Gee, its almost as if the system were designed as a form of accepted wage slavery.
True. I stayed for insurance benefits, after I resolved them I stayed way longer then I should have.
Yup!! I would have taken many more risks in my career if health insurance wasn’t a factor
💰Growing my escape fund but it feels too slow
It will get there. Focus on the progress you're making!
Because of the pandemic, I was furloughed, strung along and finally my position was eliminated. While I was looking because the environment was mildly toxic, this gave me the kick in the butt to do some things. I think they actually did me a favor in a way.
My thoughts: the universe gives us nudges and when we don't follow it gives us a shove. I hope this brings you onto a path with a job you love, Stephanie!
Then cry after you leave but tears of joy.
I love how funny, informativo and easy to understand you make these videos 😂I laughed so hard with Patty in another video 😂THANK YOU!
I’m paid really well but I also don’t want the coworkers that make my workplace toxic to feel like they’ve won
I feel like they will win, if you stay and let them take advantage of you? Thoughts? Any updates?
You win by not playing their game.
Some people might lack confidence to find another job and have an interview. Or the working hours might be good
This video landed in my feed at an interesting time. You described so many of the conversations and questions I’ve had with myself for the last year. I struggled… hard. However, when I was journaling about my situation (helps me sort through my thoughts) I thought I was asking the right questions… about money and opportunity. However, I had one more variable - my health. The stress impacted me physically in a terrible way. So all those choices about money and opportunity really boiled down to a choice of money or my health… and it wasn’t a choice… it was a conclusion. I gave notice last week.
Thank you. You have talked about my excuses to quit a toxic job: Bottom line: rebuild my self confidence.
ABSOLUTELY!!! After all, sometimes, the best way of protecting your own personal peace & self-worth, isn't by pulling certain people & things into your life, but by PUSHING CERTAIN PEOPLE & THINGS OUT OF IT!!!
Jennifer - when you said if you decide that money is what matters - it's no longer an excuse it's a decision...I jumped out of my chair! This sentence is so empowering. Because you are so right, there is no right or wrong answer - it's simply a choice you're making. Aaagggh! So good. Thanks for this video and for all the hard work you put into making sure that peeps are getting the help they need after leaving a toxic environment.
My job turned toxic about 9 months ago. I just got the great news that the new manager who caused the toxic environment just quit! 😊 I talked to corporate HR about the toxic situation 3 months ago and they sounded like they were totally on my side! (I wasn’t the only employee complaining about her.) I just got lucky and outlasted her because everyone complained about her.
HR is never on your side. Use them as a resource not a shoulder. Glad it worked out though.
@@Creznour in my case they really didn’t have a choice but to side with me. Their main function and job is to prevent a lawsuit and I had a very strong case for Retaliation and creation of a hostile work environment against two members of their management team.
What do you advise for someone who wants to quit desperately - has been burned out for years - stresses out - neck pain, stomach pain exhaustion… however - no one supports your dream to start a business or make a career change ☹️
Parents spouse etc want you to stay in safe corporate job. So now you have self doubt and fear. Feeling TRAPPED 😦
Sounds like you need to get a divorce
Oh dear. You need to make a decision that is best for you.
It's definitely time for me to quit my dead-end job. 🙄 SO MANY things wrong with this organization--the ship is "literally" sinking. Now that we're (dangerously) short staffed, things will only get worse! I seriously doubt they're any employer(s) capable of matching my current salary.
Ride that bitch to the bottom and get ALL your money. That's what I'd do. They are all shit jobs anyway. Don't let them bully you, get a little crazy, they'll back down usually.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.....
another way to look at it is many times, it’s got to do with self sabotaging moves. 1) you don’t build an emergency fund for in between jobs situation, which means you are potentially putting yourself at risk 2) you try to think “positive” by ignoring the signs of toxic environment until one day u are forced to go and it hits u hard and painful. 3) you live day by day and paycheck to paycheck without planning ahead for more options in life. as the old saying goes “ failing to plan is planning to fail” 4) you do not upskill yourself continuously at your own time. when u have more skills u have less worry about getting the next job 5) you do not know when to quit and move on to a place that is better align with your career goals and ideal working environment
There is no perfect job in the world, afterall jobs are not created to fit U perfectly. Jobs are created for business needs and to serve stakeholders. It’s many times hard to find a good job but you need to identify your own base line, is compromising health worth it? Are you leading an unrealistic high maintenance lifestyle? If you accept to be miserable at work, then why are u passing ur misery to people around you? Be honest with yourself, make plans and take bold painful moves so u can open up more options in life. It’s better to make painful move for potential better job than to do nth and stay in painful place forever..
Ma'am you're a fantastic career coach and I appreciate your input
It is one of the best company that pay and benefits are better than other companies. Saying that I have worked in my current company for 20 plus years. The lack of capabilities of Managers have always frustrated me and being passed on the promotion in terms of favouritism is demotivating and the thought of leaving played in my mind for so many times. I am a bit late for change at 50 plus years but recently again thinking of quitting and looking for another job. But what stops me from quitting is, eventhough I look 20 years younger than my age and can take on any challenges the lack of confidence due to my age prevents me from applying for other jobs.
I did leave. Went to a job that was 10 times worse. So I went back to where I was. Now…..with the insurance, my pay, and past experiences when I left and came back….I give up.
"And remember, when you decide that the money is what matters, it's no longer an excuse, it's a decision". This is why my toxic work environment reminds me of an old abusive relationship. I heard this quote back then and it hit me hard...concerning abusive relationships> "once you KNOW, you're no longer a victim, but a VOLUNTEER". I know I should quit, I look back and should have walked out during a few times when the harassment and discrimination was more obvious. I'm afraid of staying until I get fired. I did call HR, just to get a question about hours answered but it's turned into me sharing too much about the sneaky ways my manager does things. Now, I feel like I'm the one in hot water. :(
That pay check that comes in handy every 2 weeks. But yes there are other jobs. For me I know I could go work somewhere else in my same profession, but i worry about learning a whole new format for doing things. I’m also proud of myself for working full time in a pharmacy all though out last year, the overtime and masks, learning how to conduct covid tests last fall. Some part of me thinks my company appreciates all this work, but the sad fact is they don’t. Changing jobs is almost certainly the best thing for me but there are a lot of reasons I’m afraid.
Great video. For me, it's tough to put a plan to action for me to move on from my job.
Start with the basics: login to LinkedIn and update a section in your profile, dust off your resume, or simply research companies you would be interested in working for. Momentum grows through actions.
I only made strides when I would physically limit my time/exposure in the building. Otherwise every day was a horrorshow and I wasted my time trying to recover from the insults or gaslighting of yesterday. I also got fake hearing aides i would put in when the gossips and trashtalkers went for an audience. They are a cesspool, and you need to decrease the viral load you are carrying being in their proximity. I couldn't think straight or make a plan until I was out of there and walking on every break, smiling at strangers. The plan will come when the lightness returns to your step, when you would never dream of tossing your pearls before the pigs who love to trample.
Might have missed it, but I think a major reason why some stay at the job they hate is "the devil you know" scenario. I think you touched on this idea a peripherally.
For instance, I am looking to move from my current job to the IT field. I would have to take a $2 cut minimum from 19.86 to 17/hr.
Money is involved as well, yes. But a larger factor is, "am I leaving one devil for a worse and poorer paying devil"?
I can't because I can't make the
Interviews. I have to request the time off on paper and get it approved. By the time I get my approval it's 2 days later and I've missed the interview. Called in but had to do it so much I got written up with an ultimatum. I pretty much have to leave.
Me too
I used to think I can't quit my job because of the paycheck until I realized if I stayed there any longer the costs in therapy fees I would end up paying would be more than just taking a lower-paying less stressful job somewhere else. The decision to stay or quit is up to each individual for sure but working in business and learning some basics in economics has kind of opened my eyes to the fact that what you are getting paid in money might not be worth what you have to exchange in other valuable things in your life beyond time.
The reason I stayed so long at my previous job that I hated was that they kept paying me money money and, as such, my lifestyle grew more expressive. I moved into a more expressive apartment. Quitting would mean likely taking a pay cut and I wouldn't be able to afford my rent. I eventually did quit and I'm making more money than I did then. But it's scary giving up something that is keeping you and your family afloat even when you hate it
Thank you Jennifer!
Always happy to share, Gina!
"slapped with a fish" 🤣
I am stealing that line 🤣
What if your being micromanaged boss always checking your work and the blame game if something goes wrong. I've noticed all my other coworkers work doesn't get checked at the end of the shift. Can you give me advice on what should I do😡😡😡😡
Leave.
😂😂😂 ‘deserve to be slapped with a fish’ love the concept of developing a fund for having flexibility to leave. Great video as always!
This is why I can't film with a script, the random stuff that comes outta my mouth is too random haha.
@@JenniferBrick 😆that’s awesome!
💵 - I’m currently making big life changes to create a savings, largely for this reason. I’m in my third career job where I’ve found myself pigeonholed into the “immediate” business needs, resulting in my expertise being applied to mundane tasks that don’t empower me as an employee or a job candidate in my field. Ive found that each time I was stuck until a new job was accepted because I have no savings to support me. This led to a dramatic shift in my life so that I don’t fall into the same scenario again. Now Im focusing on my finances and reorganization, like trading in my dream car for a practical car to save money, as well as focusing on thorough job research and not accepting “any” position. Im also considering entrepreneurship because Im tired of working for companies that don’t care about their employees to any extent beyond the paycheck.
Thanks Career Bestie!
I have enough in my savings, almost 2 years of my annual salary to quit but I dont want to do anything impulsive and just quit as that may make me look bad on interviews, plus I have pretty bad anxiety. I am submitting applications for other jobs right now. Only thing is it's for municipal positions and the government runs on government time lol.
I've been dragging my feet at leaving because I'm a single mom of 3 living off my pay. Now I'm paying for the delay. Repetitive use of my right arm at work caused an issue in my shoulder that I'm now getting physical therapy for and seeing a doctor to figure out what kind of damage there is. I lost a week of pay that the company isn't compensating me for and though I'm on modified duty now, I don't know that I can continue like I was before. I'm going to put in my notice as soon as I'm better.
My reason for not quitting (yet) is because I love my job, I care a lot about the projects I'm working on, and I'm really good at it. I'm so conflicted then, because I am DONE with upper management and their childish, abusive behavior. Entire departments have quit en masse because of the treatment they have received throughout a difficult project. My worry is that my skills are very niche and might not carry over to a different company, in which case I would basically have to start at the bottom again. I'm in my mid 40s. I'm tired of being at the bottom. I'm a senior designer at my current job, although I'm not getting paid for that role. The whole thing sucks and I feel trapped.
For the "golden handcuffs" jobs, the toxic environment is "built in" to the pay package. Employers are not stupid.
I quit my job at a CPA firm to deliver food, and I have no regrets. 😁. Sometimes the better job is not the better job.
And I get more time with my wife and children.
💰💰💰 This is one of the many reasons I stay at my 💩 job right now. Also, I deal with age discrimination.
Money is a valid reason to not up and quit. Have you stumbled upon Bill Benoist's channel? He has great videos on age discrimination and job search (and his channel is just great in general).
@@JenniferBrick No I haven't seen his channel, but going to check it out right now. Thank you for all you do!
I waited and got fired during the Pandemic. It sucked bc I knew should’ve tried to leave 6 months earlier. I messed up the equal job bc I was nervous in the interview. My former boss started blocking everything that my coworkers there my way bc they were pissed I was fired. I was the most knowledgeable on my team. My boss was a hater though.
This scenario is an excellent reminder to invest wisely and be smart with your dollars so that you can make your own decisions and not feel trapped. I can identify with those who feel trapped, that was me 12 years ago.
I am literally the babysitter in my family and feel that if i dont stay at my job (a toxic one) then ill have to put up with that ( i live their ) they wont take no for an answer.
This is golden insight.
I love your videos and I believe you do a great job of telling viewers abs subscribers how things go or should be in the workplace. I look at a job the sane way they look at an employee. It is business. Go to work, do my job (stay ahead on my work) and go home.
I just resigned from a job that pays very well (overpaid) to a lower paying job but in a reputable company that looks after its people. My previous job in a start up company ticked all the signs of a toxic culture. It will entail lifestyle changes but I made the decision for long term investment in my career.
Thanks for the video Jennifer. May I ask how do you differentiate if you are leaving a toxic workplace for mental health or you are not being "career resilient" enough to endure in the environment?
I have unsupportive superiors and the environment is a fault finding one. I have been in the role for close to 2 years and when i look out for new jobs, recruiters are asking why I am leaving in a short period of time.
Such a great video tbh!!!
Awww so glad you liked it!
Currently saving a layed-off fund. I need to tide myself over in case I end up between jobs.
Continued working with long COVID symptoms because of ‘not a quitter mindset’ and worry about financial independence.. finally let go and feeling relieved.. health comes first😊
I got a new job but I'm so afraid to take this job because I think it maybe toxic as well. The reviews are bad but a bit old. But I need out of my current toxic environment and this new job team seem to be open minded and changing. So I want to give them a chance and keep revamping my skills. I feel damaged.
Another good one!
Been at toxic call center job for 5 months. In that time 7ppl in a 16 person department either quit or were fired. So glad I left today.
Since all my jobs have been temporary via employment agencies, you don't always know when you going to get push or when the work dries up as you usually have one project to work on.
My job is really toxic and I’ve dealt with it for so long but I am scared to leave and try something new because I am comfortable there and I keep telling myself maybe they’ll change and maybe it will get better I tried to quit but my manager convinces me telling me how much of a good worker I am I really don’t know what to do! The money is good as well and I’m just scared to start over
Narcissist boss and no judgment I’m in the same boat! Save money were you can have a back bone to say later !
Key is to lower your monthly expenses & save before you leave. Cut down anything extra you don’t need. Keep things simple.
I need to listen to a u.k version but i think we are in the same boat!
Health coverage.
I think my biggest issue besides money now is that I feel like I'm only capable of working in customer service, but that doesn't work for me as being abused and sexually harrassed on a regular basis really does a number on my PTSD. I feel stuck, and I don't know how to move up, or if I will ever move up.
Customer service is so hard, but it has so many transitional skills. Go onto linkedin and use the advanced search in "Past Postion" put your current job title. You can see where people move to and different career directions.
Great tips. Thank you.
I agreed with everything in this video. I know I can work with everyone butttttt should I?!? So, I quit my job this week. Bc I knew I could work with my boss but didnt want to. he wasn't nice and had extremely high expectations within days. Found it unfair and unrealistic.
“I am not a quitter” but, now i am. Walking out end of this coming week.
This is not a pandemic problem- the pandemic may have showed how toxic workplaces are. However, this problem of toxic workplace has existed way before- I wasn’t really aware of it til it happened to me.
It’s sad for me to say but we are modern day slaves; abused by other human beings- sincerely working and yet being ill treated,
The pandemic out a spotlight on a lot of our problems as a society.
I also think the trauma and stress it caused individually pushed what we're willing to accept as individuals.
I have a lot of hope for the future, both because enlightened company's are shifting, but also because employees have choices in where they work 💜
It's capitalism
$$$ - 20 months away from a pension. Managing a team of 6 and have waited for things to improve for over 11 years. They haven't and I'm disengaged. Planning for career after my current toxic job.
YES I can't afford it is the issue. Great content as usual.
In my situation, I’d say it’s both. It’s good to have a reasonable wage (proportional to your skills and experience), but job satisfaction comes into the equation here. There really needs to be a balance of both I think
Sounds like you have some clarity here, Yaz!
@@JenniferBrick thanks! :). I’ve been in more than my fair share of toxic workplaces and dealt with more than my fair share of toxic people. In fact, I’m in a toxic workplace right now that I’m escaping now as we speak!
@@JenniferBrick If you quit your job it shows you will quit your marriage too. Zero morals.
To be honest I am scare to take the next step to the unknown. The pay is not the greatest plus is a very unprofessional environment with high gossip staffing.
Why do I stay? I don't know 😕
What is the scariest part of the unknown.
Write that down.
Then get curious... Why is it scary? What's the worst that could happen? What's the best that could happen? What are the realistic probabilities?
I'm new to your channel and just wondering based on all the toxic workplace topics I see what happened in your career that brought you here to talk so much about toxic jobs? I'd just like to know your history a little.
It probably makes more sense when you know by education I'm a criminologist; my view of understanding the world has always been through deviance. When I started my channel, I wanted to focus on the gap I found when I needed resources: navigating politics, drama and obstacles at work - and the more I've spoken about toxic jobs, worked with toxic job escapees and survivors, and dove into the topic, the more I realize the dramatic impacts and complexities and that no one else is talking about it... so I've ended up talking about it a lot so when someone needs a resource they can find it.
So Jennifer, is the “deviance” that you see coming from the behavior of the worker or the workplace? Im so traumatized now by dealing with evil people that I’m wondering which party is primarily causing “deviance” according to your opinion.
I don’t know if you have a video of “why” there are toxic workplaces- if not, can you please make one? Thank you.
@@JenniferBrick and we appreciate your videos, thank you from the heart, it doesn't hurt that you are hott either! Lol! Keep up the great videos, we need this!
I’ll leave when I’m ready to go. I love what I do even though some of my coworkers make me miserable.
I used to get bullied for YEARS as a kid and have even been hospitalized from the bullying.
I’m an adult now and refuse to let people at work put me out of my misery lol
Money, but then again uts also my biggest motivator to leave as im currently paid less than the 25% for my position despite regularly getting praises for my work. Cant really say it was a bad deal, I moved up in a line of work you dont expect to move up in and the original job got me out of a job that had me considering suicide. This job was always merely a stepping stone and it's beyond time i take another step.
100% about being passed over for promotions and other things can really erode your self confidence. Can you make a video about gaining it again?
I can't find another job yet. Still looking
💰💰💰 I stay cause I think I won’t get compensated anywhere else
I stayed in a toxic environment, persevered until the toxic people left the workplace. Then i missed out on a promotion and then persevered ahainst that despite dying inside. Now everyone is nice and its actually ok but the baggage is in my mind and i still cant be happy. I am stuck cause its not so bad and a lot better than before.
Same here being mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for 12 years. Top workers for 38 years have never been suspended. Jealousy and misery. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, i dink, i'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. They removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these bums ever win and if I transfer to another hospital and mobbing starts again I don't know all the managers ect like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. Never let bullies try to control you from quitting. Never let bums win in life.hhh
I have stock options that I don't want to leave on the table.
4 years of working at Goodwill always feels like the guy at the bottom never call in sick ..54 what else can I do at 50 something