Dude you killed it with this explanation. The ego death description on its own was great, but I liked that you also talked about the importance of enjoying the "dream," and not getting too caught up with pursuing hedonistic spiritual endeavors 24/7. Taking time for integration and for life itself is part of the beauty of this all
Thanks mate, yeah I think it's vital to stress the importance of enjoying life, rather than getting bogged down in spirituality that your mind can't currently handle
I’ve just had my first EGO death last night, I was melted in the universe and saw and felt all and one, was able to feel the bliss fullness of life and eternity. I have never cried so much, and there were a lot of moment where I was doing some serious work on myself, and it was physically painful but having the courage to accept and submit was my greatest power
My first ego death was so scary, like nothing before. But it healed my depression, so I'm sooooo thankful for this. And after this trip I could feel love again, feeling happy again and feel really enlighten. The "bad" thing is, that most of the human behavior (e.g. politics, schemes from people around me), feels so strange and unnecessary. It was really an awakening.
Ego death is actually a process of ego dissolution which I like to generalize into 3 stages: 1. Letting go - This is the stage where your normal sense of self is beginning to slip away. The ego often reacts with fear, anxiety and dread as the loss of the ego is analogous to death. This is often related as an ego death, but there is no fear or anxiety after letting go so this is just the fear of the void. 2. Profound realization - This is where the euphoric side of ego dissolution is experienced. The egoic function which create separation between the subject of experience and the objects of perception has dissolved. You are "one" with all things, yet the ego (subject) can still think conceptually and continue an inner narrative. "We are all one" "We are God" etc. You still have perception and can experience the sensuous world and object. 3. The ground of being - This is where it gets real. This is known as the void or can also be experienced as "whiting out" on LSD. The world of perception disappears into increasingly undifferentiated black or white. Without the phenomenological world as reference, and as your mind loses grasp of time, space and the things which ground our subjective experience. Thinking fades away completely. Now in this state you often lose all sense of consciousness completely like blacking out or falling asleep. When you are conscious, you are aware of whatever differentiation arises from the void. This is not a state of bliss. It isn't any feeling at all other than your awareness as the subject-object dialectic of conscious experience itself. This is 1000ug acid trip territory right here - a preview of death and life.
Everything you described I had only with only 1,5 g of shrooms I know tolerance it's different for everybody but I didn't expect ego death and was so scared of letting go at first It's so bizarre
@@laniakeas92 same thing happened to me man, i took 1.5 gs and lost all sense of self, didnt know who i was, and started dissociating constantly. it was a weird feeling and 2 years later im still struggling with it. im better id say tho i don’t question whether anything is real as much
@@justaregularguy943 oh man Sorry that you got long term consequences from this trip :c I only got positive things from this one ego death trip. I mean I was scared at first but took my shi% together pretty fast. I managed to let go and next 2 hours of trip was heavenly. It's not because of shrooms themselves I guess. It was because you were traumatized and those memories of fear deeply ingrained in you during a trip. Not being able to let go your ego during shroom trip can really tramatize you for years. You'll heal completely with time. Send you love and support. Maybe think about visiting a psychotherapist, it will help to speed up your healing process.
@@laniakeas92 thanks man i appreciate it. im seeing a psychiatrist which definitely helps, and you’re right i had bad past memories that kept coming up and ended up with a bad trip, blood pouring outta vents and other stuff i got the whole package. i should’ve respected the shrooms though i took em and smoked just for fun cause i was a stupid kid who was too young. it did have positives though, like i can appreciate the beauty of everything around me and it made me less anxious, cause now whenever i get anxious i just think how we’re on a floating rock in space and im the universe experiencing itself. it also made me a better person as it highlighted so many things i was doing wrong and how i was an asshole. everything will be ok in the end though i believe it.
I would love to experience this, but of course fear is holding me back. The war on drugs really did a good job on scaring me away from everything but weed. But I’m at a time in my life where I think this is what I need. I need this deep reflective state, I need to experience this awakening.
The first few times it will live up to it's name. You will feel your identity and self die. It's terrifying. After about 3 of those and you'll find a way to calm yourself enough to learn from the experience.
Thanks for the video. I have been struggling a lot since I did weed edibles 2 months ago and got an unintended ego death. I think I have some sort of trauma and have been seeing a psychologist. I have no one to talk to in my life who has experienced the same. Your video perfectly describes what I felt, and I felt understood, even started crying. Thank you.
I just experienced ego death for the first time yesterday. I’m still processing and integrating the truth. Your explanation are the exact words I couldn’t seem to put together to describe the experience. I was so sad and angry upon realizing it’s just me, alone, the all experiencing itself, there’s no one else but me, but after, I realized how beautiful this grand illusion really is, how complex it is, just to be in the experience, experiencing and how I love everyone and thing, because literally, it’s all me. I would love to chat to with you directly if you are available. I just want to process this better with your help.
The way you explain these experiences makes me feel better about my “bad trip”. I just had an ego death but couldn’t let go. You explained my experience to a tee.
Really cool to see more and more different videos about this topic. My first ego death was in 2015, very sudden and unwanted at the time. Had one tab of some kind of NBOMe. Expirienced full spectrum of duality at first, had different lives like a vision, but in first person and as real as this reality. Went to "hell" and then "Heaven" and all ended in the God mind, or oneness. still remember parts of it like yesterday. Had to integrate it for 3 years.
I had my first ego death yesterday, it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I was convinced I was drowning, and that everything around me was being made up by my mind as I was drowning. I could feel the water in my throat as I was choking on it, and I was taking my clothes off and screaming for help. At the end of it all I could do is cry. Today, I took a few shrooms soaked in lemon juice, and some dust. When me and my friends were sitting outside chillin, I felt like i was dead and reborn, I was nothing and everything. My whole body was numb and I couldn't feel my heartbeat. I then jolted up and came back. At the end of these trips, I discovered that I need to experience life without drugs more, and that life shouldn't be taken for granted, because it can end any second. I've been escaping reality with drugs, when I just need to experience it.
Every time I watch your videos I find them so relatable, my first time experiencing ego death was completely unexpected, and I did everything I could to hold on to my life. It sounds like your first time and mine were extremely similar, likewise I had PTSD from it for a long time. It's only been in the past 2 years that I have been able to work through what I learned and appreciate life for what it is. Thank you for all the hard work that you put into your videos! They're really informative, especially for people considering experiencing these things for themselves!
I had ego death. It was the abyss. Into the void. Insanity. Straight fear. And then it blipped out. There was simply an absence of thinking. When i started to reconstitute, it was a process of relearning how to use my body. My mind was an absolute theatre. I felt like i was dropped into a body that I've never used before. Freaked me out. I ended up with bad hppd. Dp/dr. I had to quit weed. Too young, i suppose... Ego death was literally a practice death. I know what its like to slip away into the abyss
I’ve had ego 3 times now on different substances and can say everyone of them has been different and only the first one was bad (weed and mushrooms) and it was only bad because I wasn’t prepared for it but at least the ego death on dmt and acid was blissful and amazing as the absence of thinking to becoming aware with the intense visuals is absolutely nuts
My first ego death was also on lsd. I had taken 200ug and when i peaked i took a huge bong rip. Bad idea since i was just doing it for partying and was not expecting an ego death that day. I fell into a negative thought loop about my life then felt as if my thoughts and self where fractured, split up and scattered to the universe. I was no longer where i thought i was. I was nowhere. Then i started coming back piece by piece. The parts of me that like music came back, then the parts of me that liked anime or books and so on and so forth, until the parts of me came back that i DID NOT like and i tried to fight it and give these parts back to the universe because i did not want them, but i was forced to take them back. In reality that experience caused me to make some permanent long lasting and positive changes to my life. This ego death happened a year ago~
Mine happened last weekend at a rave. I did the exact same thing. Smoked too much weed on top of the acid and the trip was WILD. I thought I was dying and fought everyone around me bc I was hallucinating so bad. I was seeing all of my life experiences and I had to grab the ones that would take me back to the rave otherwise I would die and merge with the universe and I didn’t want to. It was wild, but in the end it was a great experience. It has changed me for the better but damn! it was a rough ride.
Accurately articulated, relatable, in a beautiful and positive way. Your character shines through in these types of videos. Whenever I find myself down, these video's seem to find me and help. You're a really good guy man, keep doing what you're doing. "Love is everything".
I was apprehensive about uploading this at first cause I didn't want to misconstrue things for people, happy to hear that's not the case :-) cheers mate
By far the best explanation ive ever heard. after having my first ego death i kept trying to find someone who had had the same thing happen to them, but i could never find someone explaining it, in a way i 100% related to. Really awesome knowing im not alone, and that im not going mad lol
I've done it through meditation, once. No stimulants or psychedelics. It was wonderful. I've been chasing the experience wanting it again ever since then.
I've experienced ego death before and I can relate to you when you said "the past and the future isn't real". My ego death would come in like waves of consciousness and ego death. When my ego would suddenly dissolve, it was like I had lost all my memories and I was seeing life as if I was dead. I could not recognise myself or my best friends. It was like the people that I've known all my life had become strangers. But I still knew who they were.
THIS!!!! THIS explains EXACTLY what I was experiencing on my slight ego death. I still knew who I was, but I started forgetting where I was, what we were doing, and why. I couldn't recognize my friends and thought they were just ghosts talking to me in the afterlife.
Hey vivec just wanted to give my thanks and appreciation for you and this community, you guys helped me stay grounded when i had a really scary ego death. It was too much for me at the time and i haven’t tripped ina while and These videos helped so much cause I’m able to relate and understand that I’m not the only one.
My first ego death was ketamine/weed induced. What you said about realizing our conciseness is infinite and we are all connected as a single being personified as multiple individual egos.. THAT realization is why I’m NEVER again afraid of death, im just gonna enjoy this life and excited with what ever is next. Because something is there and I got to visit it on my ketamine induced ego death. But not as me, but as my conciseness. It was/is beautiful ❤
Thank you for this information. 2 days ago I was in Vegas for NYE, and I had took a good amount of mushrooms while doing a number of other drugs throughout the day. Ended up having a chaotic ego death inside of a friends bathroom. To them I was just stuck and un responsive, but to me I was screaming at the top of my lungs for 3 hours. Not in control of my body or emotions . Still in a smaller state of shock about it, but this information has really helped me move forward to understand what I just experienced.
This video set my eyes open I had a 3G mushroom trip but smoked weed on top and proceeded to lose all touch of reality nothing existed the walls and objects all blended into one. When you brought up the depressive state I was in a bad place at the time and felt all alone and lost and all I wanted was someone, so I started to call for a friend who proceeded to sit next to me after 20 min of calling for him or someone. After he sat down I felt welcome and safe like I needed a reassurance and safety of not feeling alone. After a while when the peak happened I started to lose touch even more and people and shapes started to appear and I started to speak gibberish to try and communicate with things that did not exist. If I was left alone I would of lose touch of everything and my self even more then I had let go. It was an awaking experience and after a 4 month wait I realized that we are one and everything is nothing and nothing is everyone. Love powers the world and one’s true self and it was beautiful.
I have been listening to this channel before sleeping and what I get most out of is remembering and realizing that what I experienced on trips is indeed valid.
After listening to this, I completely understand that I have experienced this, although I have always been pushing it down. Thank you for making this video 💜 I really needed this 💜
I can definitely see large doses of weed causing an ego death bc i took lsd twice each 200ug and ever since i did that i feel very sensitive to any amount of weed and it feels very psychedelic even at small doses, like if i get high at all i have these mental cycles that feel extremely similar to how I remember lsd being, i really appreciate these videos and i hope vivec sees this and expresses his thoughts on my experience
My brother, i have exactly the same feeling when I smoke weed, most people feel relaxed and chill, but my mind feels like I'm experiencing something extraordinary, out of this world, when i see someone's face it looks like an animal or something like that (i know it sounds crazy, but when I'm high it's like I'm on some hallucinogenics, I can't even explain it), contrasts in the colors are very vivid and my thoughts are really powerful, if I think of something to do and if It's something extreme, I'm afraid that I'll do it and it will embarrass me or damage me and It doesn't feel like a weed trip at all
@@constant_in00 bru for me it’s different. The back of my head and neck start to tightened and tingle in a uncomfortable way every time i take a hit of weed, and it gets hard to breathe , shits weird. (took 2 tabs)
Yeh, I get ego death from even small quantities of weed. I’ve never done psychedelics, but I got it from just one brownie. I’m glad I had the experience, though it’s a little annoying that weed is off the table for me as a recreational drug. Can’t exactly have a chill night smoking with friends if the whole universe is gunna start flowing through my head half an hour in
Yeh I can confirm. I’ve never done psychedelics, but I’ve had ego death from even small quantities of weed, like even just from one brownie. One the one hand I’m infinitely grateful to have had the experience, but it is a little sad that weed is off the table as a recreational drug for me. It’s a bit hard to have a chill night smoking with friends if half an hour in you know the universe will be flowing through your brain
In the most simple sense, the ego is the sense of self..the thing you mean when you say "I". It's important to note that I don't think the ego is an inherently bad thing. "Good" and "bad" are relative constructs of the mind, anyway. But the ego exists for a reason and it's very much a part of our normal survival. A lot of people talk about the ego like it's an evil thing...I don't think that's true.
buddy of mine who used to have to take 4ish gs to have a good trip just took 1.5g the other day for the first time in awhile and i was his trip sitter…. oh boy. buddy had an extremely difficult ego death. he was so scared and was even crying. i felt so bad bc he’s used these shrooms before and usually he took around 4g of them. this time he got fucked off 1.5 they sent him a message
It can be a really difficult experience, hope he's doing better now, I'm sure with time and some integration he will be able to transform his experience into something positive. Thanks for sharing that.
@@christophervanaman4690 it had been awhile since he last tripped and his ego got a little too large and it was humbling him pretty much. needed to see how his life was going right now and he needs to slow some things down because he was getting a little dicy
I really appreciate your channel brother. It is very well informative and educational. Especially for those who are knew or those who don't really understand psychedelics or even those who simply don't respect it and underestimate the power of them. Psychedelics are not a happy pill. Trip safe travellers. ♥️🙏
It all started with everything around me "breathing". I felt it coming and layed in my safe spot, my bed. Everything was getting blurry, it looked like everything was vibrating. The white wall and ceiling was one. I could not see where the wall ended and the ceiling started. The grandfather clock in the corner of my room looked like something out of a black and white cartoon. Then everything is blurry. I remember how i felt. I had this happen to me last night. I felt bliss and pain at the same time. I knew everything but knew nothing. Time was not a thing. It felt like i was stuck in a loop. on repeat. Having rational grounded thoughts hurt. Saying to my self "let go" felt amazing. Responsibilities hurt and letting go of those responsibilities felt blissful. Its really hard to explain everything that happened. It felt like everything mattered and nothing mattered. Felt everything was real and nothing was real. I was not ready for this. I am pretty new to this whole world. My 3rd time @3g. For some reason i knew and kept saying to myself "let go." My bed was my safe spot. My music was my backbone and me telling myself to breath helped me get through it. One of the craziest experience of my life. Now I'm grounded. My thoughts cant get away from what happened. I don't want to play games. I don't want to watch you tube. Comfortably numb maybe?
Edible cannabis is actually converted into a different (and more psychedelic) compound than smoked cannabis. Joe Rogan covered this on an episode of JRE
I just experienced this off a very minor amount of shrooms , and i have to say that the way you described everything was exactly how i felt and view things and im not really sure why im typing this but i feel i just need to get it out and say thank you for putting to words what i cannot.
Thank you. I recently tried lsd for the first time and it gave an interesting trip...it wasn't until the second wave hit right after smoking weed, that I noticed it wasn't done and went on a REALLY wild ride! I was phasing in and out of different existences as though I could truly see each possibility of being. All this to say that..without putting an essay, how you described it is almost perfectly worded my experience. Sometimes people like me need to have the words to put in place to full see it
I've experienced EGO death while on 3.5g of A.P.E. mushrooms on November 24, 2024 and let me tell you that it's best to just surrender to the experience. Fighting it will only increase your fear and dread. I found that out the hard way and i eventually just had to "give up" and then it looked like the physical world just faded to all black. I kept hearing this buzzing, electric, charging, sound! It kept getting louder and louder! Then moments later brilliant white and green light broke through with black space intertwined. It felt like I was a part of the ALL. It was beautiful!! Like being pure energy propagating through the universe! Changed me forever!
at the end of the day the ego death will come into your life when your ready, theres no such thing as accidents so when it happens just accept that your in alignment and that everything that's happening right now was coded into your existence and you cant do anything about it. ❤️
great description. im 16 and spent what felt like forever trying to recollect my own memories and recoordinate my senses. the most terrifying yet surreal experience. don’t know if i’d do it again
I experienced this and had no clue until my brother(not by blood)sent me this video. I thought it was just a really bad trip. This video literally explaines everything about my experience to me
I didn't know what ego death was beyond conceptually, and I am not great with drugs. My experience with ego death was after a 20mg edible and 5g of shrooms, it was also my first time taking shrooms. I remember my mouth feeling incredibly dry and going to my friend's bathroom to get water. When I looked in the mirror it was nearly incomprehensible, not scary but the thing in the mirror wasn't "me" as I knew myself. It was "me" as I really was, beyond observation and I couldn't look myself in the eye. On my walk back to the bed I felt as though my brain lagged or I had 'tripped' over something. My visage was stuck in the mirror, my body was stuck by the bathroom, and my mind was back by the bed. It was definitely out of body and I remember watching my body pulse and melt into my surroundings from a third person view and I realized that there was no boundary between body and room and house and neighborhood and nature, it was all the same energy. I'm a pretty normal guy, not hyper spiritual or anything like that , but that experience was honestly one of the most beneficial things I have ever done. I watched my girlfriend pass away 3 years ago and that single trip helped me more than years of therapy. I'm not sure if I'd do it a second time but once was amazing.
Thanks SO much for this video! It seriously exactly what I needed right now! I can't begin to tell you, lol. And obviously with these beautiful insights this channel inspires, comes so many questions too. The more amazing thing to me is that you seem to touch on these questions even before I've asked for them or at all. 👍🙏💛🙂😁🍄
My first “real” psychedelic was DMT. And something about that night and trip was intense enough for me to forget it happened in the first place. My awareness of the substance disappeared. Till I rediscovered it and became mesmerized. Three familiar letters…. DMT. So I studied it with autistic passion just to decide “yes I’d love to try this drug!” And sought out more psychedelics hoping I’d come across my golden chance. Then taking a god tire dose of psilocybin the memory came crashing back on me and I realized I was on a three year journey as far as can be pieced together that began when I said “I could try…” and spent that time since changed and confused. But now that I realize I’ve taken it? I’m excited!
I've experienced multiple ego deaths on LSD (I haven't branched out much past that). BTW when i use nouns such as us, we, our, I am referring to our collective consciousness. However, I experienced my most powerful one last year. I didn't realize it until it was over, but I was having a conversation with ourselves. I was stuck on the question what is the point of it all. Not from the aspect of trying to gain personal self meaning, but a genuine curiosity as to why the hell we do the things we do to one another. Basically i kept asking us "Why? Why? Why? Why?" Like a child would out of genuine curiosity. I received what i believe to be answers. It was quite a long conversation, so I'm not gonna go over everything, but essentially our consciousness has no idea why either, that's the reason we started everything. The point was that there was no point, we are a by product of our consciousness trying to figure its self out. The Ego is a way for us to seperate ourselves from each other and help further our collective maturity. The reason I believe I was able to receive this communication or answer was because i was wholly approaching the idea of a purpose or a reason to life from a completely innocent, selfless, and almost childlike mindset. I have since tried to have similar experiences, but they have all gone extremely poorly. I believe it's because I am approaching it from a curiosity POV, but it is to further my knowledge on the subject, and i arrive at a very dark side of things. The Ego side of things, where I want to know because i think its cool and i want to hear more. I have an opinion on it and thus cannot approach the concept without ego very easily. I have been searching for a different perspective, and this has helped me profoundly. I thank you very much Vivec. I would love to talk about it over discord or even email. Let me know if you are interested in the expanded explanation i recieved.
When I started reading your comment I was worried you were just gunna come up with some wishy-washy vaguely spiritual sounding thing, but you saying ‘we’ don’t understand kinda spoke to me. From my ego deaths I’ve had I agree, it doesn’t feel like the ‘we’ is really in control of what it is, it just is. I fear I may have just said something wishy-washy vaguely spiritual sounding lol
What an amazing video truly and deeply intertwined with my truth found thru one ego death and a lot of thought thank u so much for this video love to us all ❤️
this is really good, I am trying to let go of my ego, I notice that I have become very self-avengeful quick to argue, and well toxic while I have gone and still going on a journey to find Jesus, I noticed that my ego constantly goes back to being this toxic smart ass, and I just well gave up because I thought I could not be helped, that is when I discovered the word ego death when thinking about and arguing with myself
I'll never forget my first (and hopefully not only) ego death experience on LSD. It was very scary at first because for me, it began to manifest as me forgetting who I was. I was still very aware of the room around me, I just started to forget what I was just doing, where I was, who I was. I actively tried to remember and couldnt and that lead to me thinking Id fucked my brain up with drugs like all the adults warned me of. But before that fear could last too long, I felt it turn into a string. then I felt everything about me turn into a string. All my thoughts, feeling, traits, fears, life details, everything that made me "me" was a bunch of strings all woven together to form the whole of me. then I felt that unravel. and when it unraveled I could feel that all the strings were actually a part of a giant "field" of infinite strings that encompassed all of existence, and all the parts that made me, had just come together temporarily to form the pattern of me. And when it unraveled, there was no more me. There was just the pure consciousness. Even as I felt this, There was no "reaction" to it. Im not sure if my eyes were open or not because I had lost awareness of my body, but I couldnt see anything anymore. It was (and im taking this quote from someone else cuz its the best description of what I saw) "Darkness, but shining." I have no Idea how long it lasted, because there was certainly no sense of time. But at some point, I felt all the strings weave back together to form me again, and I was back. Ive always been extremely grateful for this experience, because prior to this, I was debilitatingly afraid of the idea of death, and what experiencing it will be like. But now I feel like I kinda know what its going to be like and hey, it aint so bad. Its allowed me to actually find joy in my life while im here, and not obsess over the end of it. Maybe instead of Ego DEATH, we should be calling this Ego Knockout. It does come back, even if it feels different afterwards.
I experienced my first recently, unintentionally. The cubes I took were particularly strong aborts and even though I only used 4g, as opposed to my usual 3.5, it was massively different. The first indication was coming up after only 15mins, when it’d normally take 30-40. Then it hit like a train. Incredibly strong visuals bombarding me, eyes open or closed. I was in the dark, my preferred method, so I turned light on for relief. This would normally work like changing tv channel, however, it just became more intense. I could see my legs starting to fade away and my room starting zooming backwards, with everything getting smaller and smaller. I kept trying to snap my eyes open and willing my brain to think of something else, but I was aware of something telling me ‘not this time. You’re here for the full experience’. As a reasonably experienced user, I know to try and consciously relax and surrender, but it wasn’t letting me. It felt like I was drifting away into nothingness. It was really frightening at that point, but nothing I’d usually do was working. I was being dragged down into nothingness, trying to fight against it. It’s hard to describe, but I imagine it to be like being chucked in deep water with concrete wellies. You’d hold your breath for as long as possible, until you finally have no choice but to take that last breath. When I’d gotten to the last breath point, and just felt like I’d disappeared, I was suddenly flying through a magical world, all by myself. It was like I felt I was flying, but was also able to view myself. The remaining trip was about 5 hours of incredible experiences, sometimes flying, sometimes tumbling. The whole thing was very humbling, but, ultimately, a positive experience. It’s inevitable that it’ll happen again some time and I just hope, when it does, that I’m aware enough to recognise it for what it is and relax, rather than have the initial fear.
I had a small ego death from smoking. I didn’t think it was possible, but I experienced realization. It helped me understand the true symbolism of the Yin and the Yang. The balance of chaos and order within the universe. Ancient civilizations were very close with understanding these laws of how life and its complexities work. It’s amazing
I had a full on consciousness death, stoppage of all awareness in this like. As far as i can tell, its exactly what dying feels like. Slipping away into the damn abyss while being completely insane yet trying to hold onto something, when theres nothing to hold onto. Then my psyche, unplugged. Then i was redownloaded into My self. Relearning. Crazy Internal Hallucinations. Completely crazy on acid. I got HPPD from that experience. Panic attacks. Fully baked. Never quite came down all the way. Oh well.
I had a sort of ego death tonight , in my dream. I think it was induced by fear, I just llayed down in my backyard after being chased by a killer and escaped the reality I was in , and started to become a bunch of different people/characters that were not me, (best I can explain) then felt happy because my everyday anxieties were relieved, allowing me to feel more love. And I even told my mum that I was spiritually enlightened in my dream, I was really excited to share it with people
Dude I just realised that I had PTSD from a trip where I had an ego death! I couldn't explain the experience and it became emeshed in trauma I had from the past. I finally understand what happened to me!
Interestingly, we have an ego death every time we sleep during deep, dreamless sleep. The difference is that dreamless sleep isn't much experience at all. It's just a void. With an ego death induced by psychedelics, you actually get to experience it. Also, enlightenment isn't something "out there" to seek. It's when you realize that THIS is it - existence itself, and all experience associated with it, is all there is.
Ye.. i come to realize this is what I am experiencing. Life is fucking beautiful now. I am a veteran when it comes to seeking psychological help. Been struggling with ptsd and negative self talk all my life. I thought I was going manic, and have experienced hallucination one time… it was all bc of kundalini awakening.. I am heavy on the spirituality, so I’ve experienced it many times.
Most people refer to any spiritual experience as ego death. Ur physical sense of self dissolving and feeling connection with everything in the universe is not ego death. U still come back with the same ego, only with some insights. True ego death shouldnt be sought after if it isnt needed. If something is fundamentally wrong in the way ur ego developed, a deep ego ''death'' will strip you down from the layers of your ego/perception to the very spark of your soul that gives you life, then kill that flame, and relight a new one. total change. old ego dies. You come out a new, stronger man. This what happened to me. Yea everyone dives to different depths to see change, but theres a reason its called 'death'. U dont just gain insight, u kill the ego that was, on the deepest level. its an horrifying experience, but absolutely blissful unlike anything, if won over.
I listened to “I feel it coming” by the weeknd during an acid trip to reunite my body and soul. Just pretend your body or soul is talking to each other and holy crap you can feel the love for yourself again. I just strive to help the new generation and to not be as bad as I was anymore and be more empathetic of others
Lsd is my least favorite way of tripping… nasty chemicals. Also can’t stop watching your videos dude always great, and you always speak truth on the fact of any matter with psychedelics.
I had a totally diffrent idea of Ego death in mind.I once made the important realisation that I made my ADHD be the sole personality trait ,people generally connected me with.Turns out as I try Amphetamines(which functions like Ritalin),that i am Nothing but a void of silence surpressed by Hyperactivity and self-hatred.
The ego death is a major blow to ones pride and self will. We people resist it kicking and screaming until finally we let go!! There is no you or me. There is no mind but There is only The Universe and Cosmos and The Creator!! That is The Absolute. These words of mine are only human words which are just pointers. Also we have many ego deaths throughout Life. Sort of like peeling off the layer's of an egg or rather an onion. Each ego death after you die you feel a period of Elation and Ecstasy. Okay 1 layer shed off and we still have many layers to go but with each ego death you should be more Free. We keep having ego deaths until no layer's remain or at the moment of physical death where all layers of ego will be automatically shed off and you will Merge back to whence you came before you were born.
Damn!!!!! I just went through a massive ego death ( or am still currently because I'm still having to intellectualize the experience and it's been a year and a half). Hope I'm not close to my actual death. Now that I'm understanding I want to live without trying to control everything! 😆
If an ego is a creation of self, what's the purpose of the self? If every one is part of one, where is the need for two? Boredom of being the one? Punishment or Imposed separation? If "achieved", what is the need for a reimposition?
lastnight I experienced ego death. the best way I can explain it is at first I was scared shitless. my gf was on the phone and I was telling her how I felt like I was going to die and she kept asking if I was ok. colors were vibrant everything was just so bright. I just kept getting deeper and deeper into these visuals until I finally just let go. when I finally let go I realized I was experiencing ego death. I didnt feel like myself anymore I didnt even feel human. I felt as if time and soace was just an illusion and it felt so weird but so perfect at the same time. then I started contemplating the universe and God. I came to a realization that Jesus died for us and humaniry is doing nothing but taking that and running it in the dirt. I then reflected on myself as person and things that I could generally do better as a human being. once I finished contemplating the universe and my ego I felt all the love in the world and I was the happiest person on Earth. ego death is scary but can be really meaningful
Ive spent the last few days following a trail of videos on dmt, high doses of lsd, etc. which left me to the topic of ego death. I've had a few experiences while using various drugs, mostly lsd in my youth that left me with ptsd. I've communed with an entity that I believed was god, understood that we are the same, basically had a very similar experience to what you are describing. The rhythmic nature you describe in your 10 grams of mushrooms video was my last and worst experience on an unknown amount of lsd. I never knew exactly how much I was taking, 3 hits of triple dip it was called, this was in the mid 90's in the pacific nw, usa. To finally have answers to my fears and questions, to know what I've been through and that others have had the same and that there is understanding there brings me a peace I never thought I could find.
Whenever i had ego deaths they always felt like nothing is real. Like I'm not real. Emotions are utterly meaningless. I couldnt "feel" anything emotionally. I wasnt happy or sad or scared or anything. Just felt like... nothing. Just an empty husk of flesh with no soul. And theres been other times where i feel like im actually actively dying. Very odd sensation. But id recommend everyone have an ego death at least once.
Honestly I understand nothing really matters and everything is imaginary but when you have responsibilities and bills and your health and relationships and stuff like that that keeps me grounded like I can't be stuck in this mindset that nothing matters because stuff does matter
Never had ego death on any type of drug. Been sober for a while lost some people I loved and have experienced some sort of ego death naturally. Absolutely crazy feeling
I think I experience that last night it was crazy. I thought I was loosing my mind. But I was like everywhere and everyone. This was not the first time. I realize I made myself forget again.
1 time i had a terrible reaction to a cart where i didnt recognise myself and like my eyes were actually lagging and when i sat down my whole body started shaking and it felt live there was a huge ball vbrating under my skin. Has anyone else experienced this type of thing before?
I've had 2 odd instances of what I consider to be some form of ego dissolution, and I share here in the hope someone more experienced may offer their input so that I can better understand them. My only drug exposure has been with weed, mostly smoked but I've had a few edibles before. The first instance was trying to sleep in bed coming down from a non-edible high. I fell into the hazy half-asleep realm of running thoughts and flashes of dream images, but I knew I was coming down and really wanted to sleep so I did some breathing exercises to try to fall asleep. After doing this for a few minutes, I suddenly noticed that I couldn't remember who I was. I distinctly had a sense of "self" but couldn't remember any details about it. A part of me didn't care, and let the experience run its course. I remember it like a dream. I know that while it happened, there were no images or words, only abstractions blipping in and out of my awareness. But as a memory, I think of it as floating in outer space. After what was probably a few minutes on the physical plane, I remembered who I was and what was actually happening, and fell asleep. The 2nd Weird Instance was an actual dream, but i hadn't gotten high, and unlike my typical dreams, there was a separate intelligent entity governing the scene. Tldr; this intelligence explained to me that I was the current main character of a play or video game, but there were main characters before me and I was not the last. I got scared of being put into this role and tried to run away, but the entity chased me and cornered me in a hole, where he "descended" into a visible form (blue smoke in my peripheral vision) and I understood with feeling rather than with words that he was very angry that I tried to run away from what was essentially my "job". I never had a dream like that before or since. Would love to hear your thoughts.
thanks for sharing your experience. i had a similar one with 1,5 grams of mushrooms; i cannot say i had an ego death but certainly an ego let-go at some point, but whats more interesting is my dreams became vividly similar to this experience. i often dream of leaving my body and being this solely awareness that can transcend materials and has no personality nor history by itself. i believe this works as part of the unconscious going-on integration from the experience. i hope to read more about psychedelics and dreams in the future. cheers
I’ve done 1.6g of shrooms and felt a lot of the physical trip and was way more open minded and reflective, but nothing like this. Some friends and I are thinking about increase to 2, 2.5, or 3g. I do believe that I enjoy my life and who I am so would doing this level of mushroom destroy that? I don’t want ego death and I’m not sure how fighting it would work out for me. Would take between 2 and 3 grams be enough for an unwanted ego death and what could I do if it starts to happen when I don’t want it to??
I didn't have any orgasmic feeling at all just the ego death, but I was on fly agaric. I might try it in the future with something else. My ego fought me and so I thought I was dying. I experience my ego death from the point of view of my ego. It went out like a hard poop. Can't wait to get less spiritually constipated.
I haven't had a full-on ego death, but I experienced two mental situations that were partially there. I took 240mg of DXM over the course of a few hours, and for the first time in my life got a "feeling" for what having no emotion actually feels like (kind of paradoxical I know.) The kind of awareness I had on DXM felt totally emotionless compared to even the most focused form of awareness I've attained through meditation. It made my normal, sober awareness itself seem like an emotion. Or at the very least, it made it seem like my own intentional, focused, sober awareness has some kind of emotion attached to it that I hadn't realized before. Then, a few hours later when I was drifting in and out of sleep, every time some word-based thought appeared in my mind, I would ask, "Who's saying that?" "Is it me?" "I'm only one person. Where are these words coming from?" "Is there someone else inside my mind?" Then those questions turned back on themselves because where were the questions coming from? I was thoroughly confused about the existence of my own thoughts and self-dialog. Then I would remember I had taken DXM, that I was laying in bed, and that this was probably related to ego dissolution. This probably happened like 30 times over and over. lol
Can you make a video about how you got over your traumatic experience? My first LSD trip I had a partial ego death which was great at first but I resisted and was thrown into hell and tortured for hours and I can’t come to understand why it happened and what I’m supposed to learn from it. It’s increased my anxiety an incredible amount and have had a bad anxiety attack from it once.
I really don't know if you'd ever be inclined to do this, but if you ever felt like making a video to explain your thoughts on the role of Karma, I would be interested in hearing about that.
you can't have an ego death, and if you do, you're only falling for the ego in a different form. Even if you detach yourself from the body and you no longer identify as "I", you're still experiencing stuff through the perspective of that body, and thus that is your ego. You cannot escape your ego if you want to be here in the material plane. The thing that people get wrong is that people think the ego is bad...it's not.... It is the reason that you are able to have the human experience you're having. It's the reason that you're able to tell this story, from your individual experience. It's the reason that you can be a facet of God.
I've had a borderline ego death on edibles and smoking at the same time. I just got a taste and it was pretty terrifying for me. I ended up in the hospital with paranoid psychosis until the high wore off. I felt like I wasn't real, and nothing but a soup of atoms and nothing mattered..
@@Vivec thanks man, I appreciate the great content. You deserve so many more subs! The whole experience made me realize how vulnerable we all are and kind of put me off on wanting to try mushrooms or other serotonergic drugs.. P.S. I'm a very weird ego as well lol
Actually this is kind of crazy because I've heard ppl say who died and came back similar things like time doesn't exist and that we are everything all at once but nothing all at once ego death and dying sound similar this was beautiful to hear about
Today a young man on acid realized that life is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there's no such thing as death, life is a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. -Bill Hicks
@@greenbud8946 Oh, no way bro! What strain was it? I tried three times to grow my own. They looked nice but smelt like wet socks! Couldn't even refine it through the dry and cure process, so I gave up.
@@DCRivs no clue on the strain my dude. I just had a few seeds that I had slowly acquired through my bags of weed. (It’s hard as hell to find seeds in bud anymore)! Lol. It was actually my first “grow op”, (only ended up with three females), but the bud was AMAZING! I actually would make my plants listen to Mozart several times a week. Haha!
It makes sooo much sense now! Thanks sooo fukn much for your video! A few weeks ago I had a horrible trip on weed oil (I dir know they had had put it in the food that I was eating) so I wasn’t prepared aaaat all haha. And the whole time I felt like I was trying to hold on to my sanity… trying desperately not to just slip away into some place in my mind … and I was basically terrified that I was gonna stay like this forever and never get back into „reality“ and this feeling , this panicky feeling has kinda been following me for a few weeks… the feeling that I am alone in my head disconnected from everyone and then instituted questioning the whole being that i am And humanity … seeing is all as basically selfish narcissists and all the good we do is just to feel good ourselves and so on and so on…. Aaaanyway … now I think my soul (or whatever it is) is trying to get rid of my ego.. my fears , anxieties… I think on that trip I was actually healing something .. but because I was resisting and because i wasnt prepared for being high …. I kind just stayed in this paranoid panicky state of mind …. Oh my goooood … yup I understand now!!!! Thank you dimming you have no idea how much this video just helped my „sanity“ haha … although I guess that’s also just an ego illusion that I was ever „sane“ in the first place
I’ve also experienced my ego death. And it was as if my mind was dissolving somewhere in the universe whilst my body was turning into an unmovable stone. After some time I got back to my senses and bursted with tears saying omg. It’s so sad why people don’t see love! And my friend said I know, it’s sad yet beautiful and I caught myself thinking how does my friend know it’s beautiful? Lol😂 So Yh 2 hrs of a good cry until I got back to normal and omg so filled with love. Feeling great after that. Defo a life changing experience!! ❤ Based on 2gr organic shrooms.
Mentioning the sufficiently strong edible to induce ego death: Happened to me 3 or 4 times in the last few years. My Buddhist contemplative practice and consideration of Anātta/No-Self and Dependent Origination certainly took me part of the way.
First time i was gonna have an ego death, i wasnt sure what was happening so i freaked out. I only took 4 grams of golden teachers. It may have been the penis envy, penis envy number 6, and golden teacher blend. But i was having a grand old time. The happiest ive ever felt, very mystical and magical feeling. A very surreal sensation came over me which now i know is my third eye chakra healing or opening up. Such a surreal "god actually touching me" feelings or something. Cant really describe it with human words. Anyway everything was so fucking great and i was crying tears of joy. I turned around and looked at my bedroom in all its trippy glory with my tapestries and black lights and more and thought how awesome i am to make something so cool. Thats when i felt like maybe i was being too full of myself or being narcissistic or something and thats when something took control over me. I could not control myself anymore and i started laughing maniacally and felt like i was going crazy. Shit in my room started spiraling into a vortex in the middle of the room and i was laughing insanely and out loud. Was so weird. Felt myself losing grip with reality. Scared me. Didnt know what was going on. Thought i was slipping into psychosis. So i pulled myself out and suddenly felt really bad. Anyway i gotta go back to work. Trying to hurry up. I got more stories. Will come back later. Bye 4 now
Dude you killed it with this explanation. The ego death description on its own was great, but I liked that you also talked about the importance of enjoying the "dream," and not getting too caught up with pursuing hedonistic spiritual endeavors 24/7. Taking time for integration and for life itself is part of the beauty of this all
Thanks mate, yeah I think it's vital to stress the importance of enjoying life, rather than getting bogged down in spirituality that your mind can't currently handle
I’ve just had my first EGO death last night, I was melted in the universe and saw and felt all and one, was able to feel the bliss fullness of life and eternity. I have never cried so much, and there were a lot of moment where I was doing some serious work on myself, and it was physically painful but having the courage to accept and submit was my greatest power
Me too
@@PearlLV88 how was it? What was the medicine you took??
My first ego death was so scary, like nothing before. But it healed my depression, so I'm sooooo thankful for this. And after this trip I could feel love again, feeling happy again and feel really enlighten. The "bad" thing is, that most of the human behavior (e.g. politics, schemes from people around me), feels so strange and unnecessary. It was really an awakening.
Ego death is actually a process of ego dissolution which I like to generalize into 3 stages:
1. Letting go - This is the stage where your normal sense of self is beginning to slip away. The ego often reacts with fear, anxiety and dread as the loss of the ego is analogous to death. This is often related as an ego death, but there is no fear or anxiety after letting go so this is just the fear of the void.
2. Profound realization - This is where the euphoric side of ego dissolution is experienced. The egoic function which create separation between the subject of experience and the objects of perception has dissolved. You are "one" with all things, yet the ego (subject) can still think conceptually and continue an inner narrative. "We are all one" "We are God" etc. You still have perception and can experience the sensuous world and object.
3. The ground of being - This is where it gets real. This is known as the void or can also be experienced as "whiting out" on LSD. The world of perception disappears into increasingly undifferentiated black or white. Without the phenomenological world as reference, and as your mind loses grasp of time, space and the things which ground our subjective experience. Thinking fades away completely. Now in this state you often lose all sense of consciousness completely like blacking out or falling asleep. When you are conscious, you are aware of whatever differentiation arises from the void. This is not a state of bliss. It isn't any feeling at all other than your awareness as the subject-object dialectic of conscious experience itself. This is 1000ug acid trip territory right here - a preview of death and life.
Everything you described I had only with only 1,5 g of shrooms
I know tolerance it's different for everybody but I didn't expect ego death and was so scared of letting go at first
It's so bizarre
I experienced this with 1g of shrooms. once I did 5g and it didn't happen like this time
@@laniakeas92 same thing happened to me man, i took 1.5 gs and lost all sense of self, didnt know who i was, and started dissociating constantly. it was a weird feeling and 2 years later im still struggling with it. im better id say tho i don’t question whether anything is real as much
@@justaregularguy943 oh man
Sorry that you got long term consequences from this trip :c
I only got positive things from this one ego death trip. I mean I was scared at first but took my shi% together pretty fast. I managed to let go and next 2 hours of trip was heavenly.
It's not because of shrooms themselves I guess. It was because you were traumatized and those memories of fear deeply ingrained in you during a trip. Not being able to let go your ego during shroom trip can really tramatize you for years.
You'll heal completely with time. Send you love and support. Maybe think about visiting a psychotherapist, it will help to speed up your healing process.
@@laniakeas92 thanks man i appreciate it. im seeing a psychiatrist which definitely helps, and you’re right i had bad past memories that kept coming up and ended up with a bad trip, blood pouring outta vents and other stuff i got the whole package. i should’ve respected the shrooms though i took em and smoked just for fun cause i was a stupid kid who was too young. it did have positives though, like i can appreciate the beauty of everything around me and it made me less anxious, cause now whenever i get anxious i just think how we’re on a floating rock in space and im the universe experiencing itself. it also made me a better person as it highlighted so many things i was doing wrong and how i was an asshole. everything will be ok in the end though i believe it.
it feels good knowing im not the only one whos experienced it
I genuinely didn't know that what I experienced was Ego Death. I thought I was crazy. This video genuinely made me bawl.
I would love to experience this, but of course fear is holding me back. The war on drugs really did a good job on scaring me away from everything but weed. But I’m at a time in my life where I think this is what I need. I need this deep reflective state, I need to experience this awakening.
LSD has TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE!!!
Bro just meditate💀
Try binaural beats for ego death. Might help with meditation
You’re ego is holding you back lol which is funny. It doesn’t want to die.
The first few times it will live up to it's name. You will feel your identity and self die. It's terrifying. After about 3 of those and you'll find a way to calm yourself enough to learn from the experience.
Thanks for the video. I have been struggling a lot since I did weed edibles 2 months ago and got an unintended ego death.
I think I have some sort of trauma and have been seeing a psychologist.
I have no one to talk to in my life who has experienced the same. Your video perfectly describes what I felt, and I felt understood, even started crying.
Thank you.
I just experienced ego death for the first time yesterday. I’m still processing and integrating the truth. Your explanation are the exact words I couldn’t seem to put together to describe the experience.
I was so sad and angry upon realizing it’s just me, alone, the all experiencing itself, there’s no one else but me, but after, I realized how beautiful this grand illusion really is, how complex it is, just to be in the experience, experiencing and how I love everyone and thing, because literally, it’s all me.
I would love to chat to with you directly if you are available. I just want to process this better with your help.
Message me on Instagram ✌️ link's in the description
Great video man, honest and simple. Brings tears to my eyes honestly.
Also your "reductionist materialist" voice cracked me up. Please do more of that 😂
@@halfknots Hahahah I'll be sure to whip it out again in the future! Glad you enjoyed the video mate.
The way you explain these experiences makes me feel better about my “bad trip”. I just had an ego death but couldn’t let go. You explained my experience to a tee.
Really cool to see more and more different videos about this topic. My first ego death was in 2015, very sudden and unwanted at the time. Had one tab of some kind of NBOMe. Expirienced full spectrum of duality at first, had different lives like a vision, but in first person and as real as this reality. Went to "hell" and then "Heaven" and all ended in the God mind, or oneness. still remember parts of it like yesterday. Had to integrate it for 3 years.
I had my first ego death yesterday, it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I was convinced I was drowning, and that everything around me was being made up by my mind as I was drowning. I could feel the water in my throat as I was choking on it, and I was taking my clothes off and screaming for help. At the end of it all I could do is cry. Today, I took a few shrooms soaked in lemon juice, and some dust. When me and my friends were sitting outside chillin, I felt like i was dead and reborn, I was nothing and everything. My whole body was numb and I couldn't feel my heartbeat. I then jolted up and came back. At the end of these trips, I discovered that I need to experience life without drugs more, and that life shouldn't be taken for granted, because it can end any second. I've been escaping reality with drugs, when I just need to experience it.
We should never take things for granite.
Every time I watch your videos I find them so relatable, my first time experiencing ego death was completely unexpected, and I did everything I could to hold on to my life. It sounds like your first time and mine were extremely similar, likewise I had PTSD from it for a long time. It's only been in the past 2 years that I have been able to work through what I learned and appreciate life for what it is. Thank you for all the hard work that you put into your videos! They're really informative, especially for people considering experiencing these things for themselves!
What substance caused your ego death?
@@christophervanaman4690 the first time was LSD, but I've had multiple ego deaths on other substances.
I had ego death. It was the abyss. Into the void. Insanity. Straight fear. And then it blipped out. There was simply an absence of thinking. When i started to reconstitute, it was a process of relearning how to use my body. My mind was an absolute theatre. I felt like i was dropped into a body that I've never used before. Freaked me out. I ended up with bad hppd. Dp/dr. I had to quit weed. Too young, i suppose... Ego death was literally a practice death. I know what its like to slip away into the abyss
Perfect description.
how young were you?
@@AdahirLangarica I was 20 but most people are at least 18 hopefully cause it can mess you UP. speaking from experience
I’ve had ego 3 times now on different substances and can say everyone of them has been different and only the first one was bad (weed and mushrooms) and it was only bad because I wasn’t prepared for it but at least the ego death on dmt and acid was blissful and amazing as the absence of thinking to becoming aware with the intense visuals is absolutely nuts
This reminds me of a fever dream I had. I suspect the heightened temperatures of a fever effect cognitive processes.
Feels volatile. Big ups, big downs.
You see the truth of yourself, for good or bad.
My first ego death was also on lsd. I had taken 200ug and when i peaked i took a huge bong rip. Bad idea since i was just doing it for partying and was not expecting an ego death that day. I fell into a negative thought loop about my life then felt as if my thoughts and self where fractured, split up and scattered to the universe. I was no longer where i thought i was. I was nowhere. Then i started coming back piece by piece. The parts of me that like music came back, then the parts of me that liked anime or books and so on and so forth, until the parts of me came back that i DID NOT like and i tried to fight it and give these parts back to the universe because i did not want them, but i was forced to take them back. In reality that experience caused me to make some permanent long lasting and positive changes to my life. This ego death happened a year ago~
Mine happened last weekend at a rave. I did the exact same thing. Smoked too much weed on top of the acid and the trip was WILD. I thought I was dying and fought everyone around me bc I was hallucinating so bad. I was seeing all of my life experiences and I had to grab the ones that would take me back to the rave otherwise I would die and merge with the universe and I didn’t want to. It was wild, but in the end it was a great experience. It has changed me for the better but damn! it was a rough ride.
Mine happened yesterday and i couldn't put it better that's exactly what it did to me
Mine was unexpected as well. I took a few bong rips also. It was scary. 😂
@@MyLife-og2kr bkud did not ego death
Accurately articulated, relatable, in a beautiful and positive way. Your character shines through in these types of videos. Whenever I find myself down, these video's seem to find me and help.
You're a really good guy man, keep doing what you're doing.
"Love is everything".
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment
I find ego death the most fascinating thing there is, always scary in the beginning but then 🤯🚀🎉✨. Thanks man👍
Those emojis sum it up nicely to be fair hahaha no worries g
can't explain it, it's such a beautiful transcendant experience beyond anything humans can comprehend. Bless be fellow Psychonaut
Being more on the Daoist side myself, you absolutely killed this explanation. Not only of ego death, but metaphysics itself. Fantastic video brother:)
I was apprehensive about uploading this at first cause I didn't want to misconstrue things for people, happy to hear that's not the case :-) cheers mate
By far the best explanation ive ever heard. after having my first ego death i kept trying to find someone who had had the same thing happen to them, but i could never find someone explaining it, in a way i 100% related to.
Really awesome knowing im not alone, and that im not going mad lol
Wow. So well articulated. Got me emotional. Thanks for posting, dude. One of the better explanations I've heard.
Happy to hear it mate :-)
I've done it through meditation, once. No stimulants or psychedelics. It was wonderful. I've been chasing the experience wanting it again ever since then.
Really wanted to hear this. Super useful stuff.
Happy to hear it mate, hope you're doing well
I've experienced ego death before and I can relate to you when you said "the past and the future isn't real". My ego death would come in like waves of consciousness and ego death. When my ego would suddenly dissolve, it was like I had lost all my memories and I was seeing life as if I was dead. I could not recognise myself or my best friends. It was like the people that I've known all my life had become strangers. But I still knew who they were.
THIS!!!! THIS explains EXACTLY what I was experiencing on my slight ego death. I still knew who I was, but I started forgetting where I was, what we were doing, and why. I couldn't recognize my friends and thought they were just ghosts talking to me in the afterlife.
Hey vivec just wanted to give my thanks and appreciation for you and this community, you guys helped me stay grounded when i had a really scary ego death. It was too much for me at the time and i haven’t tripped ina while and These videos helped so much cause I’m able to relate and understand that I’m not the only one.
That's made my day, I'm honoured to lend a helping hand in understanding/integrating stuff like this. Much love my man!
My first ego death was ketamine/weed induced. What you said about realizing our conciseness is infinite and we are all connected as a single being personified as multiple individual egos.. THAT realization is why I’m NEVER again afraid of death, im just gonna enjoy this life and excited with what ever is next. Because something is there and I got to visit it on my ketamine induced ego death. But not as me, but as my conciseness. It was/is beautiful ❤
Thank you for this information. 2 days ago I was in Vegas for NYE, and I had took a good amount of mushrooms while doing a number of other drugs throughout the day. Ended up having a chaotic ego death inside of a friends bathroom. To them I was just stuck and un responsive, but to me I was screaming at the top of my lungs for 3 hours. Not in control of my body or emotions . Still in a smaller state of shock about it, but this information has really helped me move forward to understand what I just experienced.
This video set my eyes open I had a 3G mushroom trip but smoked weed on top and proceeded to lose all touch of reality nothing existed the walls and objects all blended into one. When you brought up the depressive state I was in a bad place at the time and felt all alone and lost and all I wanted was someone, so I started to call for a friend who proceeded to sit next to me after 20 min of calling for him or someone. After he sat down I felt welcome and safe like I needed a reassurance and safety of not feeling alone. After a while when the peak happened I started to lose touch even more and people and shapes started to appear and I started to speak gibberish to try and communicate with things that did not exist. If I was left alone I would of lose touch of everything and my self even more then I had let go. It was an awaking experience and after a 4 month wait I realized that we are one and everything is nothing and nothing is everyone. Love powers the world and one’s true self and it was beautiful.
I have been listening to this channel before sleeping and what I get most out of is remembering and realizing that what I experienced on trips is indeed valid.
That's awesome to hear man, happy to be providing!
After listening to this, I completely understand that I have experienced this, although I have always been pushing it down. Thank you for making this video 💜 I really needed this 💜
This touched my heart. The more I contemplate what ego death is the more beautiful and ultimate and crazy it seems to me
I can definitely see large doses of weed causing an ego death bc i took lsd twice each 200ug and ever since i did that i feel very sensitive to any amount of weed and it feels very psychedelic even at small doses, like if i get high at all i have these mental cycles that feel extremely similar to how I remember lsd being, i really appreciate these videos and i hope vivec sees this and expresses his thoughts on my experience
My brother, i have exactly the same feeling when I smoke weed, most people feel relaxed and chill, but my mind feels like I'm experiencing something extraordinary, out of this world, when i see someone's face it looks like an animal or something like that (i know it sounds crazy, but when I'm high it's like I'm on some hallucinogenics, I can't even explain it), contrasts in the colors are very vivid and my thoughts are really powerful, if I think of something to do and if It's something extreme, I'm afraid that I'll do it and it will embarrass me or damage me and It doesn't feel like a weed trip at all
@@constant_in00 bru for me it’s different. The back of my head and neck start to tightened and tingle in a uncomfortable way every time i take a hit of weed, and it gets hard to breathe , shits weird. (took 2 tabs)
Yeh, I get ego death from even small quantities of weed. I’ve never done psychedelics, but I got it from just one brownie. I’m glad I had the experience, though it’s a little annoying that weed is off the table for me as a recreational drug. Can’t exactly have a chill night smoking with friends if the whole universe is gunna start flowing through my head half an hour in
Yeh I can confirm. I’ve never done psychedelics, but I’ve had ego death from even small quantities of weed, like even just from one brownie.
One the one hand I’m infinitely grateful to have had the experience, but it is a little sad that weed is off the table as a recreational drug for me. It’s a bit hard to have a chill night smoking with friends if half an hour in you know the universe will be flowing through your brain
In the most simple sense, the ego is the sense of self..the thing you mean when you say "I". It's important to note that I don't think the ego is an inherently bad thing. "Good" and "bad" are relative constructs of the mind, anyway. But the ego exists for a reason and it's very much a part of our normal survival. A lot of people talk about the ego like it's an evil thing...I don't think that's true.
buddy of mine who used to have to take 4ish gs to have a good trip just took 1.5g the other day for the first time in awhile and i was his trip sitter…. oh boy. buddy had an extremely difficult ego death. he was so scared and was even crying. i felt so bad bc he’s used these shrooms before and usually he took around 4g of them. this time he got fucked off 1.5 they sent him a message
It can be a really difficult experience, hope he's doing better now, I'm sure with time and some integration he will be able to transform his experience into something positive. Thanks for sharing that.
Any idea what the message was or why he had the bad trip?
@@christophervanaman4690 it had been awhile since he last tripped and his ego got a little too large and it was humbling him pretty much. needed to see how his life was going right now and he needs to slow some things down because he was getting a little dicy
@@Vivec he is
I really appreciate your channel brother. It is very well informative and educational. Especially for those who are knew or those who don't really understand psychedelics or even those who simply don't respect it and underestimate the power of them. Psychedelics are not a happy pill. Trip safe travellers. ♥️🙏
Pleases me greatly that people can take away something valuable from my videos. Thanks for watching mate!
@@Vivec b b v.
I’m
Okay thanks d
It all started with everything around me "breathing". I felt it coming and layed in my safe spot, my bed. Everything was getting blurry, it looked like everything was vibrating. The white wall and ceiling was one. I could not see where the wall ended and the ceiling started. The grandfather clock in the corner of my room looked like something out of a black and white cartoon. Then everything is blurry. I remember how i felt.
I had this happen to me last night. I felt bliss and pain at the same time. I knew everything but knew nothing. Time was not a thing. It felt like i was stuck in a loop. on repeat. Having rational grounded thoughts hurt. Saying to my self "let go" felt amazing. Responsibilities hurt and letting go of those responsibilities felt blissful. Its really hard to explain everything that happened. It felt like everything mattered and nothing mattered. Felt everything was real and nothing was real.
I was not ready for this. I am pretty new to this whole world. My 3rd time @3g. For some reason i knew and kept saying to myself "let go." My bed was my safe spot. My music was my backbone and me telling myself to breath helped me get through it. One of the craziest experience of my life. Now I'm grounded. My thoughts cant get away from what happened. I don't want to play games. I don't want to watch you tube. Comfortably numb maybe?
im glad you mentioned the ego death on edible marijuana, it is a psychedelic and needs to be respected as one :)
Too right mate, people misunderstand how powerful it can be
Edible cannabis is actually converted into a different (and more psychedelic) compound than smoked cannabis. Joe Rogan covered this on an episode of JRE
I’ve had ego death from edibles, but also from smoking a cone. Is the sort you get in cones also similar to the edible stuff? Idk much about weed
i’m so glad you didn’t use trippy visuals bc i don’t think i could cope with that
I just experienced this off a very minor amount of shrooms , and i have to say that the way you described everything was exactly how i felt and view things and im not really sure why im typing this but i feel i just need to get it out and say thank you for putting to words what i cannot.
Thank you. I recently tried lsd for the first time and it gave an interesting trip...it wasn't until the second wave hit right after smoking weed, that I noticed it wasn't done and went on a REALLY wild ride! I was phasing in and out of different existences as though I could truly see each possibility of being. All this to say that..without putting an essay, how you described it is almost perfectly worded my experience. Sometimes people like me need to have the words to put in place to full see it
I've experienced EGO death while on 3.5g of A.P.E. mushrooms on November 24, 2024 and let me tell you that it's best to just surrender to the experience. Fighting it will only increase your fear and dread. I found that out the hard way and i eventually just had to "give up" and then it looked like the physical world just faded to all black. I kept hearing this buzzing, electric, charging, sound! It kept getting louder and louder! Then moments later brilliant white and green light broke through with black space intertwined. It felt like I was a part of the ALL. It was beautiful!! Like being pure energy propagating through the universe! Changed me forever!
at the end of the day the ego death will come into your life when your ready, theres no such thing as accidents so when it happens just accept that your in alignment and that everything that's happening right now was coded into your existence and you cant do anything about it. ❤️
Well said mate 👏
great description. im 16 and spent what felt like forever trying to recollect my own memories and recoordinate my senses. the most terrifying yet surreal experience. don’t know if i’d do it again
I experienced this and had no clue until my brother(not by blood)sent me this video. I thought it was just a really bad trip. This video literally explaines everything about my experience to me
I didn't know what ego death was beyond conceptually, and I am not great with drugs. My experience with ego death was after a 20mg edible and 5g of shrooms, it was also my first time taking shrooms. I remember my mouth feeling incredibly dry and going to my friend's bathroom to get water. When I looked in the mirror it was nearly incomprehensible, not scary but the thing in the mirror wasn't "me" as I knew myself. It was "me" as I really was, beyond observation and I couldn't look myself in the eye. On my walk back to the bed I felt as though my brain lagged or I had 'tripped' over something. My visage was stuck in the mirror, my body was stuck by the bathroom, and my mind was back by the bed. It was definitely out of body and I remember watching my body pulse and melt into my surroundings from a third person view and I realized that there was no boundary between body and room and house and neighborhood and nature, it was all the same energy. I'm a pretty normal guy, not hyper spiritual or anything like that , but that experience was honestly one of the most beneficial things I have ever done. I watched my girlfriend pass away 3 years ago and that single trip helped me more than years of therapy. I'm not sure if I'd do it a second time but once was amazing.
The opening music alone earned you a sub❤
Thanks SO much for this video! It seriously exactly what I needed right now! I can't begin to tell you, lol. And obviously with these beautiful insights this channel inspires, comes so many questions too. The more amazing thing to me is that you seem to touch on these questions even before I've asked for them or at all. 👍🙏💛🙂😁🍄
My first “real” psychedelic was DMT. And something about that night and trip was intense enough for me to forget it happened in the first place. My awareness of the substance disappeared. Till I rediscovered it and became mesmerized. Three familiar letters…. DMT. So I studied it with autistic passion just to decide “yes I’d love to try this drug!” And sought out more psychedelics hoping I’d come across my golden chance. Then taking a god tire dose of psilocybin the memory came crashing back on me and I realized I was on a three year journey as far as can be pieced together that began when I said “I could try…” and spent that time since changed and confused. But now that I realize I’ve taken it? I’m excited!
I've experienced multiple ego deaths on LSD (I haven't branched out much past that). BTW when i use nouns such as us, we, our, I am referring to our collective consciousness. However, I experienced my most powerful one last year. I didn't realize it until it was over, but I was having a conversation with ourselves. I was stuck on the question what is the point of it all. Not from the aspect of trying to gain personal self meaning, but a genuine curiosity as to why the hell we do the things we do to one another. Basically i kept asking us "Why? Why? Why? Why?" Like a child would out of genuine curiosity. I received what i believe to be answers. It was quite a long conversation, so I'm not gonna go over everything, but essentially our consciousness has no idea why either, that's the reason we started everything. The point was that there was no point, we are a by product of our consciousness trying to figure its self out. The Ego is a way for us to seperate ourselves from each other and help further our collective maturity. The reason I believe I was able to receive this communication or answer was because i was wholly approaching the idea of a purpose or a reason to life from a completely innocent, selfless, and almost childlike mindset. I have since tried to have similar experiences, but they have all gone extremely poorly. I believe it's because I am approaching it from a curiosity POV, but it is to further my knowledge on the subject, and i arrive at a very dark side of things. The Ego side of things, where I want to know because i think its cool and i want to hear more. I have an opinion on it and thus cannot approach the concept without ego very easily. I have been searching for a different perspective, and this has helped me profoundly. I thank you very much Vivec. I would love to talk about it over discord or even email. Let me know if you are interested in the expanded explanation i recieved.
so meaningful !
When I started reading your comment I was worried you were just gunna come up with some wishy-washy vaguely spiritual sounding thing, but you saying ‘we’ don’t understand kinda spoke to me. From my ego deaths I’ve had I agree, it doesn’t feel like the ‘we’ is really in control of what it is, it just is.
I fear I may have just said something wishy-washy vaguely spiritual sounding lol
What an amazing video truly and deeply intertwined with my truth found thru one ego death and a lot of thought thank u so much for this video love to us all ❤️
keep going, your videos really give me a lot of energy! have fun my friend! :)
This is what I like to hear, cheers dude!
this is really good, I am trying to let go of my ego, I notice that I have become very self-avengeful quick to argue, and well toxic while I have gone and still going on a journey to find Jesus, I noticed that my ego constantly goes back to being this toxic smart ass, and I just well gave up because I thought I could not be helped, that is when I discovered the word ego death when thinking about and arguing with myself
I'll never forget my first (and hopefully not only) ego death experience on LSD. It was very scary at first because for me, it began to manifest as me forgetting who I was. I was still very aware of the room around me, I just started to forget what I was just doing, where I was, who I was. I actively tried to remember and couldnt and that lead to me thinking Id fucked my brain up with drugs like all the adults warned me of. But before that fear could last too long, I felt it turn into a string. then I felt everything about me turn into a string. All my thoughts, feeling, traits, fears, life details, everything that made me "me" was a bunch of strings all woven together to form the whole of me. then I felt that unravel. and when it unraveled I could feel that all the strings were actually a part of a giant "field" of infinite strings that encompassed all of existence, and all the parts that made me, had just come together temporarily to form the pattern of me. And when it unraveled, there was no more me. There was just the pure consciousness. Even as I felt this, There was no "reaction" to it. Im not sure if my eyes were open or not because I had lost awareness of my body, but I couldnt see anything anymore. It was (and im taking this quote from someone else cuz its the best description of what I saw) "Darkness, but shining." I have no Idea how long it lasted, because there was certainly no sense of time. But at some point, I felt all the strings weave back together to form me again, and I was back. Ive always been extremely grateful for this experience, because prior to this, I was debilitatingly afraid of the idea of death, and what experiencing it will be like. But now I feel like I kinda know what its going to be like and hey, it aint so bad. Its allowed me to actually find joy in my life while im here, and not obsess over the end of it. Maybe instead of Ego DEATH, we should be calling this Ego Knockout. It does come back, even if it feels different afterwards.
I experienced my first recently, unintentionally. The cubes I took were particularly strong aborts and even though I only used 4g, as opposed to my usual 3.5, it was massively different. The first indication was coming up after only 15mins, when it’d normally take 30-40. Then it hit like a train. Incredibly strong visuals bombarding me, eyes open or closed. I was in the dark, my preferred method, so I turned light on for relief. This would normally work like changing tv channel, however, it just became more intense. I could see my legs starting to fade away and my room starting zooming backwards, with everything getting smaller and smaller. I kept trying to snap my eyes open and willing my brain to think of something else, but I was aware of something telling me ‘not this time. You’re here for the full experience’. As a reasonably experienced user, I know to try and consciously relax and surrender, but it wasn’t letting me. It felt like I was drifting away into nothingness. It was really frightening at that point, but nothing I’d usually do was working. I was being dragged down into nothingness, trying to fight against it. It’s hard to describe, but I imagine it to be like being chucked in deep water with concrete wellies. You’d hold your breath for as long as possible, until you finally have no choice but to take that last breath. When I’d gotten to the last breath point, and just felt like I’d disappeared, I was suddenly flying through a magical world, all by myself. It was like I felt I was flying, but was also able to view myself. The remaining trip was about 5 hours of incredible experiences, sometimes flying, sometimes tumbling. The whole thing was very humbling, but, ultimately, a positive experience. It’s inevitable that it’ll happen again some time and I just hope, when it does, that I’m aware enough to recognise it for what it is and relax, rather than have the initial fear.
I had a small ego death from smoking. I didn’t think it was possible, but I experienced realization. It helped me understand the true symbolism of the Yin and the Yang. The balance of chaos and order within the universe. Ancient civilizations were very close with understanding these laws of how life and its complexities work. It’s amazing
I got to see the beauty of understanding that everything isn’t meant to be understood.
I had a full on consciousness death, stoppage of all awareness in this like. As far as i can tell, its exactly what dying feels like. Slipping away into the damn abyss while being completely insane yet trying to hold onto something, when theres nothing to hold onto. Then my psyche, unplugged. Then i was redownloaded into My self. Relearning. Crazy Internal Hallucinations. Completely crazy on acid. I got HPPD from that experience. Panic attacks. Fully baked. Never quite came down all the way. Oh well.
Been following your content for a while now, really loving it, and your voice is incredible, it's really comforting. Wishing u a good day.
Thank you so much!!
I had a sort of ego death tonight , in my dream.
I think it was induced by fear, I just llayed down in my backyard after being chased by a killer and escaped the reality I was in , and started to become a bunch of different people/characters that were not me, (best I can explain) then felt happy because my everyday anxieties were relieved, allowing me to feel more love. And I even told my mum that I was spiritually enlightened in my dream, I was really excited to share it with people
Gareth Beaton really on fire in here 😂. Great vid again vivec!
Hahaha you know it son, thanks for watching!
Thanks
This is the most important explanation in all of consciousness
Dude I just realised that I had PTSD from a trip where I had an ego death! I couldn't explain the experience and it became emeshed in trauma I had from the past. I finally understand what happened to me!
Interestingly, we have an ego death every time we sleep during deep, dreamless sleep. The difference is that dreamless sleep isn't much experience at all. It's just a void. With an ego death induced by psychedelics, you actually get to experience it. Also, enlightenment isn't something "out there" to seek. It's when you realize that THIS is it - existence itself, and all experience associated with it, is all there is.
Ye.. i come to realize this is what I am experiencing. Life is fucking beautiful now.
I am a veteran when it comes to seeking psychological help. Been struggling with ptsd and negative self talk all my life. I thought I was going manic, and have experienced hallucination one time… it was all bc of kundalini awakening..
I am heavy on the spirituality, so I’ve experienced it many times.
Most people refer to any spiritual experience as ego death. Ur physical sense of self dissolving and feeling connection with everything in the universe is not ego death. U still come back with the same ego, only with some insights. True ego death shouldnt be sought after if it isnt needed. If something is fundamentally wrong in the way ur ego developed, a deep ego ''death'' will strip you down from the layers of your ego/perception to the very spark of your soul that gives you life, then kill that flame, and relight a new one. total change. old ego dies. You come out a new, stronger man. This what happened to me. Yea everyone dives to different depths to see change, but theres a reason its called 'death'. U dont just gain insight, u kill the ego that was, on the deepest level. its an horrifying experience, but absolutely blissful unlike anything, if won over.
This video confirms what i went through last time was ego-death, its so similar to what was being described here .
I listened to “I feel it coming” by the weeknd during an acid trip to reunite my body and soul. Just pretend your body or soul is talking to each other and holy crap you can feel the love for yourself again. I just strive to help the new generation and to not be as bad as I was anymore and be more empathetic of others
Lsd is my least favorite way of tripping… nasty chemicals.
Also can’t stop watching your videos dude always great, and you always speak truth on the fact of any matter with psychedelics.
I had a totally diffrent idea of Ego death in mind.I once made the important realisation that I made my ADHD be the sole personality trait ,people generally connected me with.Turns out as I try Amphetamines(which functions like Ritalin),that i am Nothing but a void of silence surpressed by Hyperactivity and self-hatred.
The ego death is a major blow to ones pride and self will. We people resist it kicking and screaming until finally we let go!! There is no you or me. There is no mind but There is only The Universe and Cosmos and The Creator!! That is The Absolute. These words of mine are only human words which are just pointers. Also we have many ego deaths throughout Life. Sort of like peeling off the layer's of an egg or rather an onion. Each ego death after you die you feel a period of Elation and Ecstasy. Okay 1 layer shed off and we still have many layers to go but with each ego death you should be more Free. We keep having ego deaths until no layer's remain or at the moment of physical death where all layers of ego will be automatically shed off and you will Merge back to whence you came before you were born.
Damn!!!!! I just went through a massive ego death ( or am still currently because I'm still having to intellectualize the experience and it's been a year and a half). Hope I'm not close to my actual death. Now that I'm understanding I want to live without trying to control everything! 😆
I love the tangents negl refreshing 2 hear someone genuinely interested
If an ego is a creation of self, what's the purpose of the self? If every one is part of one, where is the need for two? Boredom of being the one? Punishment or Imposed separation? If "achieved", what is the need for a reimposition?
Just because. 😂🤷♂️ why not?
lastnight I experienced ego death. the best way I can explain it is at first I was scared shitless. my gf was on the phone and I was telling her how I felt like I was going to die and she kept asking if I was ok. colors were vibrant everything was just so bright. I just kept getting deeper and deeper into these visuals until I finally just let go. when I finally let go I realized I was experiencing ego death. I didnt feel like myself anymore I didnt even feel human. I felt as if time and soace was just an illusion and it felt so weird but so perfect at the same time. then I started contemplating the universe and God. I came to a realization that Jesus died for us and humaniry is doing nothing but taking that and running it in the dirt. I then reflected on myself as person and things that I could generally do better as a human being. once I finished contemplating the universe and my ego I felt all the love in the world and I was the happiest person on Earth. ego death is scary but can be really meaningful
Ive spent the last few days following a trail of videos on dmt, high doses of lsd, etc. which left me to the topic of ego death. I've had a few experiences while using various drugs, mostly lsd in my youth that left me with ptsd. I've communed with an entity that I believed was god, understood that we are the same, basically had a very similar experience to what you are describing. The rhythmic nature you describe in your 10 grams of mushrooms video was my last and worst experience on an unknown amount of lsd. I never knew exactly how much I was taking, 3 hits of triple dip it was called, this was in the mid 90's in the pacific nw, usa. To finally have answers to my fears and questions, to know what I've been through and that others have had the same and that there is understanding there brings me a peace I never thought I could find.
Whenever i had ego deaths they always felt like nothing is real. Like I'm not real. Emotions are utterly meaningless. I couldnt "feel" anything emotionally. I wasnt happy or sad or scared or anything. Just felt like... nothing. Just an empty husk of flesh with no soul. And theres been other times where i feel like im actually actively dying. Very odd sensation. But id recommend everyone have an ego death at least once.
Honestly I understand nothing really matters and everything is imaginary but when you have responsibilities and bills and your health and relationships and stuff like that that keeps me grounded like I can't be stuck in this mindset that nothing matters because stuff does matter
Never had ego death on any type of drug. Been sober for a while lost some people I loved and have experienced some sort of ego death naturally. Absolutely crazy feeling
I think I experience that last night it was crazy. I thought I was loosing my mind. But I was like everywhere and everyone. This was not the first time. I realize I made myself forget again.
1 time i had a terrible reaction to a cart where i didnt recognise myself and like my eyes were actually lagging and when i sat down my whole body started shaking and it felt live there was a huge ball vbrating under my skin. Has anyone else experienced this type of thing before?
I've had 2 odd instances of what I consider to be some form of ego dissolution, and I share here in the hope someone more experienced may offer their input so that I can better understand them.
My only drug exposure has been with weed, mostly smoked but I've had a few edibles before.
The first instance was trying to sleep in bed coming down from a non-edible high. I fell into the hazy half-asleep realm of running thoughts and flashes of dream images, but I knew I was coming down and really wanted to sleep so I did some breathing exercises to try to fall asleep. After doing this for a few minutes, I suddenly noticed that I couldn't remember who I was. I distinctly had a sense of "self" but couldn't remember any details about it. A part of me didn't care, and let the experience run its course. I remember it like a dream. I know that while it happened, there were no images or words, only abstractions blipping in and out of my awareness. But as a memory, I think of it as floating in outer space. After what was probably a few minutes on the physical plane, I remembered who I was and what was actually happening, and fell asleep.
The 2nd Weird Instance was an actual dream, but i hadn't gotten high, and unlike my typical dreams, there was a separate intelligent entity governing the scene. Tldr; this intelligence explained to me that I was the current main character of a play or video game, but there were main characters before me and I was not the last. I got scared of being put into this role and tried to run away, but the entity chased me and cornered me in a hole, where he "descended" into a visible form (blue smoke in my peripheral vision) and I understood with feeling rather than with words that he was very angry that I tried to run away from what was essentially my "job". I never had a dream like that before or since. Would love to hear your thoughts.
thanks for sharing your experience. i had a similar one with 1,5 grams of mushrooms; i cannot say i had an ego death but certainly an ego let-go at some point, but whats more interesting is my dreams became vividly similar to this experience. i often dream of leaving my body and being this solely awareness that can transcend materials and has no personality nor history by itself. i believe this works as part of the unconscious going-on integration from the experience. i hope to read more about psychedelics and dreams in the future. cheers
Thank you so much for posting this!
You're welcome :-)
I’ve done 1.6g of shrooms and felt a lot of the physical trip and was way more open minded and reflective, but nothing like this. Some friends and I are thinking about increase to 2, 2.5, or 3g. I do believe that I enjoy my life and who I am so would doing this level of mushroom destroy that? I don’t want ego death and I’m not sure how fighting it would work out for me. Would take between 2 and 3 grams be enough for an unwanted ego death and what could I do if it starts to happen when I don’t want it to??
I didn't have any orgasmic feeling at all just the ego death, but I was on fly agaric. I might try it in the future with something else. My ego fought me and so I thought I was dying. I experience my ego death from the point of view of my ego. It went out like a hard poop. Can't wait to get less spiritually constipated.
I haven't had a full-on ego death, but I experienced two mental situations that were partially there. I took 240mg of DXM over the course of a few hours, and for the first time in my life got a "feeling" for what having no emotion actually feels like (kind of paradoxical I know.) The kind of awareness I had on DXM felt totally emotionless compared to even the most focused form of awareness I've attained through meditation. It made my normal, sober awareness itself seem like an emotion. Or at the very least, it made it seem like my own intentional, focused, sober awareness has some kind of emotion attached to it that I hadn't realized before.
Then, a few hours later when I was drifting in and out of sleep, every time some word-based thought appeared in my mind, I would ask, "Who's saying that?" "Is it me?" "I'm only one person. Where are these words coming from?" "Is there someone else inside my mind?" Then those questions turned back on themselves because where were the questions coming from? I was thoroughly confused about the existence of my own thoughts and self-dialog. Then I would remember I had taken DXM, that I was laying in bed, and that this was probably related to ego dissolution. This probably happened like 30 times over and over. lol
This was deep bro✊🏾
Can you make a video about how you got over your traumatic experience? My first LSD trip I had a partial ego death which was great at first but I resisted and was thrown into hell and tortured for hours and I can’t come to understand why it happened and what I’m supposed to learn from it. It’s increased my anxiety an incredible amount and have had a bad anxiety attack from it once.
This should help you out:
ruclips.net/video/UI97GbZ2i3Y/видео.html
@@Vivec thanks dawg
I really don't know if you'd ever be inclined to do this, but if you ever felt like making a video to explain your thoughts on the role of Karma, I would be interested in hearing about that.
Great idea mate, I'd love to talk about that at some point
How is it I've had a form of ego death without any drugs just a existential crisis?
you can't have an ego death, and if you do, you're only falling for the ego in a different form. Even if you detach yourself from the body and you no longer identify as "I", you're still experiencing stuff through the perspective of that body, and thus that is your ego. You cannot escape your ego if you want to be here in the material plane. The thing that people get wrong is that people think the ego is bad...it's not.... It is the reason that you are able to have the human experience you're having. It's the reason that you're able to tell this story, from your individual experience. It's the reason that you can be a facet of God.
Agreed
I've had a borderline ego death on edibles and smoking at the same time. I just got a taste and it was pretty terrifying for me. I ended up in the hospital with paranoid psychosis until the high wore off.
I felt like I wasn't real, and nothing but a soup of atoms and nothing mattered..
Hope you're doing better now mate, that sounds rough
@@Vivec thanks man, I appreciate the great content. You deserve so many more subs! The whole experience made me realize how vulnerable we all are and kind of put me off on wanting to try mushrooms or other serotonergic drugs..
P.S. I'm a very weird ego as well lol
Actually this is kind of crazy because I've heard ppl say who died and came back similar things like time doesn't exist and that we are everything all at once but nothing all at once ego death and dying sound similar this was beautiful to hear about
It’s amazing. 100% would recommend.
Today a young man on acid realized that life is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there's no such thing as death, life is a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.
-Bill Hicks
Here’s Tom with the weather!
@@greenbud8946 Right on! Beautiful avatar pic by the way!
@@DCRivs thanks dude! That was one of my plants last fall.
@@greenbud8946 Oh, no way bro! What strain was it? I tried three times to grow my own. They looked nice but smelt like wet socks! Couldn't even refine it through the dry and cure process, so I gave up.
@@DCRivs no clue on the strain my dude. I just had a few seeds that I had slowly acquired through my bags of weed. (It’s hard as hell to find seeds in bud anymore)! Lol. It was actually my first “grow op”, (only ended up with three females), but the bud was AMAZING! I actually would make my plants listen to Mozart several times a week. Haha!
my man awesome video !! 🙏💙
Thank you 🙌
It makes sooo much sense now! Thanks sooo fukn much for your video! A few weeks ago I had a horrible trip on weed oil (I dir know they had had put it in the food that I was eating) so I wasn’t prepared aaaat all haha. And the whole time I felt like I was trying to hold on to my sanity… trying desperately not to just slip away into some place in my mind … and I was basically terrified that I was gonna stay like this forever and never get back into „reality“ and this feeling , this panicky feeling has kinda been following me for a few weeks… the feeling that I am alone in my head disconnected from everyone and then instituted questioning the whole being that i am
And humanity … seeing is all as basically selfish narcissists and all the good we do is just to feel good ourselves and so on and so on…. Aaaanyway … now I think my soul (or whatever it is) is trying to get rid of my ego.. my fears , anxieties… I think on that trip I was actually healing something .. but because I was resisting and because i wasnt prepared for being high …. I kind just stayed in this paranoid panicky state of mind …. Oh my goooood … yup I understand now!!!! Thank you dimming you have no idea how much this video just helped my „sanity“ haha … although I guess that’s also just an ego illusion that I was ever „sane“ in the first place
I’ve also experienced my ego death. And it was as if my mind was dissolving somewhere in the universe whilst my body was turning into an unmovable stone. After some time I got back to my senses and bursted with tears saying omg. It’s so sad why people don’t see love! And my friend said I know, it’s sad yet beautiful and I caught myself thinking how does my friend know it’s beautiful? Lol😂
So Yh 2 hrs of a good cry until I got back to normal and omg so filled with love. Feeling great after that. Defo a life changing experience!! ❤
Based on 2gr organic shrooms.
Mentioning the sufficiently strong edible to induce ego death: Happened to me 3 or 4 times in the last few years. My Buddhist contemplative practice and consideration of Anātta/No-Self and Dependent Origination certainly took me part of the way.
Came to understand ego death, now I wanna play the game in the video lol
First time i was gonna have an ego death, i wasnt sure what was happening so i freaked out. I only took 4 grams of golden teachers. It may have been the penis envy, penis envy number 6, and golden teacher blend. But i was having a grand old time. The happiest ive ever felt, very mystical and magical feeling. A very surreal sensation came over me which now i know is my third eye chakra healing or opening up. Such a surreal "god actually touching me" feelings or something. Cant really describe it with human words. Anyway everything was so fucking great and i was crying tears of joy. I turned around and looked at my bedroom in all its trippy glory with my tapestries and black lights and more and thought how awesome i am to make something so cool. Thats when i felt like maybe i was being too full of myself or being narcissistic or something and thats when something took control over me. I could not control myself anymore and i started laughing maniacally and felt like i was going crazy. Shit in my room started spiraling into a vortex in the middle of the room and i was laughing insanely and out loud. Was so weird. Felt myself losing grip with reality. Scared me. Didnt know what was going on. Thought i was slipping into psychosis. So i pulled myself out and suddenly felt really bad. Anyway i gotta go back to work. Trying to hurry up. I got more stories. Will come back later. Bye 4 now