We are not put on this earth to compete with one another. We are all here to go down our own path. Black women gave birth to the world. I stopped being jealous or envious of anyone decades ago, once I realized that I am here to work on being the best me that I can be. 💕💕
Not sure how to say this . I’ve given up on black women friendships because of the catty and competitiveness . I’ve always played myself small to make my friends feel loved . When it was my time to shine they tried to shame me and want me to dull the shine . I think this topic is much deeper rooted back into the scarcity like you said and the slavery mindset. Amidst our own race there is colorism . Then there’s comparing the length of hair . The weight . There are way too many heavy variables and our community is still very broken . Since I know I am sensitive to the nasty I’ve steered away . I love black women and I love all women . And I have chosen to only be around love , no matter what race . There is room for us to all shine . 🌹 Happy Mother’s Day to all.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. That grieves me because I know your experience is not the only one like that. I, too have been hurt by Black women, but I've also been nourished by them. I see you and honor you. Much love and joy to you 💛🙂🌺
Thank you for sharing. I too, have given bw a wide berth in the past. but i'm healing that hurt and have found some great supportive bw gf and it's alot better than before. for me, there is only the amazing spectrum of skin tone that is our bountiful beautiful people. Its a gift. we can turn it into an issue if we want, but if we are releasing the trauma of slavery & a society based on scarcity mindset then what we will see is the beauty and not fall into the lies of competition. There is only the glorious range of hair textures and lengths that occur naturally in the black race. and weight gain. alot of black women just take on too much. it shows up on our bodies. once we release the stress of what doesn't belong to us and feel safe, we can weigh as much or as little as we want to be healthy and it doesn't impact our self-esteem. We didn't create these arbitrary rules and we don't have to live by them. There is only abundance. No one and nothing can take anything away from who you are. My sincere hope is that as more & more bw come into this more balanced way of being lots of the competition energy will fall away. Or at the very least those who have dropped it will gravitate toward each other. Peace to you on your journey. Asé
@Annick...Everything you said and unfortunately, some Black women scare me. They are so angry and seem to only want to take it out on other Black women. I increasingly stay clear too...but but then I will go to a Black woman youtube channel and the comments for the channel owner is so loving and encouraging for the owner coming from other Black women and it makes me cautiously optimistic and so I remain hopeful.
Wow, this is a great topic to talk about. We’re crabs in a barrel, but who created the barrel? And why does it have to be there? I’ve seen friendships dissolve because of competition and jealousy. I’m so happy we’re having these kinds of discussions now.
Right, and ... why are crabs EVEN INSIDE a barrel in the first place, instead of swimming freely and joyously in the wide, blue sea.? ❤️ This is one powerful message, gently and lovingly delivered.
"I'm a bad, she's a savage, no comparison here". You bring words from our ancestors. This is how we got through this far. We are forgetting that. Thank you for the reminder.
I think that’s why I allow myself to remain “small” whenever I am in what we consider a competitive setting, because I’ve had that mindset of “there can only be one” and in turn, have been so negative about my own talent, my own light. At some point, you get tired of that feeling and you get tired of dimming your light. It’s really about connecting to who you are and I’m on that journey! Thank you. ❤️
Yeeeeeeeeeees! Thank you so much for sharing this! You are definitely not alone in that. I tend to do the same thing. Let's own our "amazing". I see you. I believe in you. Much love and joy to you ☺️💛🌺
@@AleciaRenece so am I! I discovered you through Erica Dinero. She had this post up. I breezed through your videos and it’s the kind of vibe that I want to see black women resonate with. I wish you all the success in the world sis.
“It doesn’t have to injure us to be impactful” A word!!! I love this. I’m healing through working and wearing myself down trying to prove myself to others (and even myself) that I can do great things but it can all be so easy if I just…rest. Let it flow instead of forcing it. Gotta stay present and authentic. Amazing video! Thank you for uploading.
Thank you for making this. It’s almost like you are directly in my head. I grew up believing that there isn’t enough for all black women to succeed. Quick back story: I (a black woman) skipped grades in school and graduated high school at 15. Went on to college and grad school and became a doctor at 23. I always hated competition but was always put in arenas to compete. I experienced not having many friends due other people’s envy and jealousy of my circumstances. I was held on this “pedestal” by others as the one people should strive to be like. I grew up believing that I was that only black girl who could “succeed” (as defined by other people). Therefore, I would hoard information and not help others as much as I wish I did, simply because I thought it would take away from my success if I did so. And it’s interesting that you mentioned that you lose yourself when you’re at the “top”. I definitely felt super alone and never really felt connected to my community. So naturally, I started to pull back in my awesomeness by self deprecating, in order to try regain a community. But that only hurt me in the long run. Now, I am trying to be authentic to myself and share generously with anyone I come across because I too believe that everyone is valuable and there is enough joy and success for everyone. I totally agree with you about the notion that we can live in abundance instead of scarcity. I hope one day every black woman comes across this video because it would definitely change mindsets and like you said we can ALL feast, we don’t have to be competitive.
Wow. How beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this and for sharing your honest and vulnerable story. It's so encouraging and helpful! I've definitely seen things like this play out while I was in school too. While I didn't skip a grade, I was in the TAG (talented and gifted) program in my county and the elitism was drilled in us from SUCH a young age. Thank you so much for being a light! Much love and joy to you! ☺️💛
I skipped grades too! it was a nightmare in the black community. But I"m grown now and own all of me including my intelligence. I'm learning to let myself shine as I shine without dimming my light to make others comfortable. It doesn't work anyway! so you might as well be yourself and be as loving and generous as you care to. There is no lack. There is enough space for all.
I’m so happy I found your channel. I been binge watching your vids yesterday and you are saying exactly how I was feeling. Black women are very disrespected in America and I’m sick of trying to fit in I want to be whole and I feel like I can’t do it here. I’m starting my journey of being an expat and want to be in a place where I can be peaceful. Thank you so much for making us that we can be worthy. ❤️
I am so excited to hear your perspective on this. It’s something vicious especially experienced between mothers and daughters, which is the foundation for daughters’ relationships with women. We need to be learning from each other and standing up for each other. Black women are all black women have in terms of political capital when it comes down to tribalism ultimately trumping ‘altruistic’ allies of convenience feigning solidarity in order to benefit from our legacy of political advocacy in order to advance their social agendas.
Such a great post Alecia! My Jamaican Grand-Mother would say "What is fi yu cya be un-fi yu!" Meaning what is for you cannot be not for you. I have to tell you I love looking at your face because I see my features in yours and I go "Man, I'm good looking!"
Susie!!! Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛☺️ You are always so GENEROUS!!! 🥰🥺 My heart is drenched in gratitude, Today! Your grandmother sounds like SUCH a wise woman and I know it would have been an honor to meet her! And yeeeeeeeeeees! Ya look GOOD! 😍💛
Let’s continue this conversation because this very clamoring and clawing behavior continues to distract us from our purpose. Imagine really being our best selves
Absolutely! We definitely will! 💛💛💛 Thank you so much for all of your encouragement and support. ❤️❤️❤️ The world would be HEAVENLY if we were to be our best selves.
True. I feel you. There are others who agree. I just don't like competing. I don't see the point, honestly. I get it for sports and stuff but for every day life...? Nah. But if we're talking about not competing with others, there has to be room for them (just my opinion).
i hope you realize youre exorcising so much negative karma out of the community with this. the impact of this message can create lifetimes of abundance. you most definitely have a blessing for healing, and im almost certain you healed many people from past lifetimes. thats why youre so talented at this
Oh wow! I'm honored that this resonates with so many folks. Ite my pleasure to create and share and help others shake the shame. My goal is to see us truly FREE. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. It really fuels me to keep going! Much love and joy to you 💛💛💛
You did it again. Spoke directly to my soul. I'm in tears about to rewind this video. You're light is infectious and I'm glad to have caught it. Let this serve as another confirmation, you done good. Love this Alecia.
Wow! Yvette! 🥺🥰💛 I don't even have the words. Thank you so much! I am so grateful and honored that this video touched you so. Thank you so much for seeing me, for making room for me. It means so much! 💛💛💛 Much love and joy to you always!
YOU NEED MORE VIDEOS LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SHORT CLIPS OF WHAT IS MASTERFUL OF BLACK WOMEN. CALLING THEM INNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. YOU GOT IT. I STUDY RUclips. YOU GOT ITTTTTTTT. WE HAVE TO TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wonderful video!!! I definitely the shrinking myself for others. i got so much unwarranted snapping from other BW including in my family all because of their own insecurities. I started shrinking myself and it hasnt lead to good results.
I'm grateful I experienced your segment. I modeled for a short time but growing up I was not considered beautiful. After my teens I started getting exposure and met a couple of well knows in the industry. Funny thing is, I've had a few black men suggest that I wasn't the best looking. This only came from men and women who mainstream society would consider less attractive people. You are correct, there are men and women who benefit from upholding a certain kind of beauty or sexy idealization. You, Alicia are beautiful woman. You don't have to look like someone else or less like you to be equally beautiful. People are taught, especially AA to glorify a certain aesthetic. They call it a preference, they don't understand or have the capacity to realize this on a conscious level. You have beautiful Egyptian, almond shaped eyes, you have beautiful full pink lips ( some people pay big money to get larger, plumper lips). Anyone who has inferred otherwise is simply brainwashed or threatened. These sublte inferences sometimes come from people you would least expect. You're gorgeous! I'm not playing the game either, and I don't date men who do.
Oh wow!!! 😢🥰 I am overwhelmed in such a beautiful way. Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛 For sharing your story and for sharing such beautiful, generous and kind words with me. Thank you. And thank you for not playing the game and freeing us to not have to play it either.
thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. as BW I've felt the same way, so I appreciate the perspective you have. beauty, intelligence, and talent are abundant. and there is enough to include me :)
Unfortunately, the mentality that there can only be one Black (fill in the blank), is alive and well. This mindset is sooo engrained in every part of American culture that I think too many of US have simply become immune to and complicit with it. However, it's never too late to change out thinking. So, we can be about our own business of living in our own brilliance.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! Your commentary really illustrates the difference between toxic ambition and true inspiration. You mentioned "generosity." Generosity is a component of love, and if we learned to love ourselves, each other, and all things, that would be the end of those who use us to remain in control. They wouldn't last fifteen minutes.
Amen and asé! I thought I was alone in going through this thought process re: scarcity not being a thing, and that if we all just focused on being a lot more generous - less selfish - we would all eat! We’d all be taken care of. Same thing with relationships… if each partner gave 100% instead of seeking their just own pleasures, everyone would feel loved, honored, cared for. It’s just intimidating to put this into practice when no one else in your real-life sphere of influence agrees or thinks this way, because in giving your all without reciprocity you become a doormat.
Candace, YEEEEEES!!! And I totally understand the fear. It's hard to be generous when others don't think the same way. I've decided to be generous anyway. Change can start with me, but I'm also being intentional with who I surround myself to. Much love and joy to you!
You speak from such a pure and clear place. I am grateful to have discovered your channel. Please continue to bring healing to the world. I really appreciate you.
That's an excellent point about generosity. I have often said that people who are Hoarders because they're scared that the other person won't contribute end up becoming the very people that they fear. If everybody gave of themselves nobody would lack
Yes sis, this video was amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to make this kind of content. There have certainly been times when I felt like I needed to shrink myself in order to make room for another sister that I felt was more brilliant than me. But you have confirmed for me that not only is it unnecessary for me to do that, but it's harmful. Shrinking myself doesn't serve ANYONE. Thank you so much. I will be more intentional about taking up all the space I was created to take.
Yes have been in that space where I felt like I had to compete for one spot. Before I was a female rapper and this was the early 2000's, during the time when you very much had gate keepers in the industry. And mind you during 2002-2009 there really wasn't no mainstream female rappers. I came out on some roots in hip hop type stuff, where music was used to shed light on issues in our communities. Females were very much looked down upon like we were just toys or s_x objects and if we didn't compete in the game for that one spot, which competition didn't mean rap battling like it for men, it meant how sexually provocative you could be, or what bigger name in the industry you slept with, and if you didn't pay that game your music was never heard. And what was so funny they didn't do that to black men, you could have Rick Ross, TI, David Banner,... They told us a female would never sell, people aren't looking for female talent. Then 2009 came and Nicki broke into the industry and sold more than the men, but then at that point any woman coming in had to be just like Nicki and for a while she was the only, not because she was the only female rapper, but because there could only be one. And if there are two they put them against each other...
You are speaking truth. Everything you said resonates with me. I'm not playing the game either. Thank you for living your truth and bringing great content.
Excellent. Even big business owners in the West have been reading books about "blue ocean strategy" -- trying to move outside the scarcity mindset -- because it is destructive in a world in which scarcity IS NOT TRUE. For us as Black women, the survival of the whole race has depended on us accessing abundance when no one else could see it... we just have to believe we can, for ourselves now...
It's because collectively, there has been a scarcity mindset that has been propogandized in our community. We are abundant in nature Black women, in all areas of human activity. Embrace and believe it.
Now THIS is a message that I can get behind!! Yes jealousy/envy can be a wake up call to everything you're holding your own self back from. GO FOR IT! and we get to ask for & receive help without shame if/when we need it. Scarcity is a mindset promoted by society to manufacture insecurity & fear. We are all amazing just by being. And we get to be whatever we want. There is ONLY Abundance. That is truth. Let be BRILLIANT ladies each in our own unique happy ways. Asé
THIS IS YOUR MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AN ORATORICAL AND ARTISTIC GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SENDING THIS TO EVERYONE I KNOW. WE AREN'T CRABS IN A BARREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE IN THESE COMMENTS SEND THIS VIDEO TO EVERY BLACK WOMAN YOU KNOW NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is unfortunate, but I think we can decide to create the community we want to live and thrive in. While we are surrounded by wickedness, I choose to opt out as much as I can by lifting up and celebrating others. It starts with making changes in our own spheres of influence. And honestly, this is the only place (The West) where it's normal to compete as we do. Other nations live very well communally. We've just been indoctrinated with these ideals and ways of life. 💛💛💛
I would enjoy you touring and giving girl talk events. I'm waiting for the book to come out. I never cared to be envious because we all have a talent that shines even when we don't see it. Besides I already have enough stress to compare myself besides comparing yourself to others will only steal your joy 😊
I completely agree with you. And touring and talking is something I long to do. I may just start doing it when we tour in our RV. 💛🌻🌺🥹 Thank you for this. This is confirmation! Much love and joy to you!
Yes Yes!!! Thank you for beautifully articulating my thoughts on this topic, you're a blessing to planet Earth, just imagined if more people had this mindset, the world would be a much better place. Thank you!
Imitation is the best form of flattery, so when I see someone getting their hair done like mine when I see someone wearing clothes like mine sometimes it raises the eyebrow but then that's how God made me to be he made me to be an inspiration to other people to let them know that yes you too can succeed yes you too can be a better human being you two can volunteer with the community you two can open a book and read it and stay off of social media and don't have television and spend your time doing God's work and not leading a secular life but not just an appearance but also in Etiquette and manners and volunteering in in charity which I believe it starts in the home, so sometimes I raised eyebrows specialist somebody goes out and gets maybe the same ring I have I smile after I frown I'm only human LOL because after all who did I who did I take my cue from in life the women that surrounded me my mentor or tried my best to follow in her footsteps, and she is some of everything. She's smart, educated a leader lookout for a family give the charity volunteers a very loving and caring person and then I didn't have to choose a path of getting married coming out of college but I can work and get married later in life just like she did so therefore she inspired me I'm only Standing Tall because I was standing on her shoulders along my mother's shoulders and all the women that came before me
I LOVE that "standing tall on their shoulders". That's literally my belief as well. I am because they are. I'd be nothing without my community. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This lovely reminder ☺️🌺💛
They're two methodologies with crab in the barrel one is the one that you're mentioning but the other one is to protect you because it's a very cruel, unfair brutal opportunity, praying on and it doesn't matter if you have a PhD or if you have a stellar Plumbing business no one said the world be kind to you or meet you where you are no one said that. when the crab pulls you back down is to protect you from the outside world
I get what you're saying, and I do agree that some folks try to protect each other. For that I would say we need to build our own communities where we don't need to protect anyone from the cruel world. Our own eco system, if you will. We also shouldn't be in the barrel in the first place. The barrel was manufactured and someone put us there. Crabs are supposed to be at the beach, in the ocean living. We've been sold a lie that we have to live in the bucket in the first place, you know? Thank you so much for sharing this perspective, it's super important to include in this conversation 💛🌺☺️
Like yourself I've never had an overly competitive spirit. I only compete for fun; anything else is too draining. And you're right we all have gifts so I can appreciate the gifts in others. I am getting older so sometimes I will see another Black woman and secretly check for aging signs (that Black don't crack theory) and do a slight comparison. I guess there's no such thing as a complete lack of vanity. Excellent thoughts on this conundrum! Thank you!
I want to find you and give you a big hug for making this. I love your contents. You are a brilliant lady and I applaud your realness. Wish I could like this a million times. The black community need to see this. We do not share enough and should be more willing to share because there is Definetely room for us all to thrive.
Oh wow! 🥺💕 Thank you so MUUUUUUUUCH!!! ☺️🥰💛 It is my absolute pleasure to create and share with y'all. My heart is full! *BIG HUGS* Much love and joy to you!!!
Excellent commentary, I really appreciate the honesty and good conversation keep up his good work this is what young people need to hear and I would also like to hear it because your RUclips my only social media
Thank you for this MUCH needed discussion!!! I so appreciate your depth and authenticity when discussing these issues. In an effort to better understand, my dissertation focused on social-comparison jealousy among Black Women.
.. and I did I really did! 🍃💐 You must know that I Am among those who live this way every day and have ALWAYS and We direct supportive positive energy✨ to give strength and direction towards your intention to plant an alternative view to us! It is not the way to treat ourselves and it disturbs our internal balance causing disturbances in both our bodies and affairs to live that way. We can never win as individuals nor as a collective seeing life as a constant struggle or as a fight against anything. What is the more elevated approach but what you suggest here by your open minded wise and insightful thought on a subject that is at the root of most of our problems having been set up to hate on each other? Girl GO DO IT SOME MO just keep on sharing! 🔹🔷🔹
Our ability to fill up our space is also contingent on how we define "success or "opportunity." To me, under the banner of capitalism/white supremacy, both of these are false constructs that put us at odds with every other living being. I mean, even if we were accepted, we'd only be given the chance to aid and abet them in their quest to exploit and enslave others. Experience/history has shown us that if we refuse this option, traditional success is denied us. But that's a blessing because ambition, under these conditions, is the compulsion to destroy in order to prove a false point. Black women are the womb from which an entirely new existence will be born. That is, IF WE LEARN TO TRUST OURSELVES, and not listen to the ones who snub us because we won't hurt others to get what we want. Our good character, and our talent will create the first, ever, principled environment. Here, as Alecia so aptly points out, all women will be welcome, celebrated, and most of all, loved. And when the word gets out, others will follow.
ALL. 👏🏾 OF. 👏🏾 THIS. 👏🏾 I couldn't have said it more eloquently myself. Thank you so much for sharing this! This is absolutely LOVELY. Much love and joy to you!!! 💛☺️🌺
@@AleciaRenece And to you. These are the thoughts I mostly keep to myself, with the exception of my two sons, because people just stare at me like I'm crazy. But to be on the same page with a young lady like you, so tender, honest, and true, with such keen perception for one young enough to be my daughter, or even my granddaughter, is a true honor. And so, it is I who thank You.
There's room for everybody but they will not make room let's look at the editor of Vogue how long has she been achieving editor of Vogue Anna she's been there what 450 years when is she going to sit down and give someone else's the seat same thing with the woman@facebook who did leaning leaning what she doesn't invite anybody to the table with her you can move over and become a board member and let another woman fill that seat
We are not put on this earth to compete with one another. We are all here to go down our own path. Black women gave birth to the world. I stopped being jealous or envious of anyone decades ago, once I realized that I am here to work on being the best me that I can be. 💕💕
I LOVE it!
Not sure how to say this . I’ve given up on black women friendships because of the catty and competitiveness . I’ve always played myself small to make my friends feel loved . When it was my time to shine they tried to shame me and want me to dull the shine . I think this topic is much deeper rooted back into the scarcity like you said and the slavery mindset. Amidst our own race there is colorism . Then there’s comparing the length of hair . The weight . There are way too many heavy variables and our community is still very broken . Since I know I am sensitive to the nasty I’ve steered away . I love black women and I love all women . And I have chosen to only be around love , no matter what race . There is room for us to all shine . 🌹
Happy Mother’s Day to all.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. That grieves me because I know your experience is not the only one like that. I, too have been hurt by Black women, but I've also been nourished by them. I see you and honor you. Much love and joy to you 💛🙂🌺
Thank you for sharing. I too, have given bw a wide berth in the past. but i'm healing that hurt and have found some great supportive bw gf and it's alot better than before. for me, there is only the amazing spectrum of skin tone that is our bountiful beautiful people. Its a gift. we can turn it into an issue if we want, but if we are releasing the trauma of slavery & a society based on scarcity mindset then what we will see is the beauty and not fall into the lies of competition. There is only the glorious range of hair textures and lengths that occur naturally in the black race. and weight gain. alot of black women just take on too much. it shows up on our bodies. once we release the stress of what doesn't belong to us and feel safe, we can weigh as much or as little as we want to be healthy and it doesn't impact our self-esteem. We didn't create these arbitrary rules and we don't have to live by them. There is only abundance. No one and nothing can take anything away from who you are. My sincere hope is that as more & more bw come into this more balanced way of being lots of the competition energy will fall away. Or at the very least those who have dropped it will gravitate toward each other. Peace to you on your journey. Asé
@Annick...Everything you said and unfortunately, some Black women scare me. They are so angry and seem to only want to take it out on other Black women. I increasingly stay clear too...but but then I will go to a Black woman youtube channel and the comments for the channel owner is so loving and encouraging for the owner coming from other Black women and it makes me cautiously optimistic and so I remain hopeful.
I agree! It goes very deep. Well said
Wow, this is a great topic to talk about. We’re crabs in a barrel, but who created the barrel? And why does it have to be there? I’ve seen friendships dissolve because of competition and jealousy. I’m so happy we’re having these kinds of discussions now.
Right, and ... why are crabs EVEN INSIDE a barrel in the first place, instead of swimming freely and joyously in the wide, blue sea.? ❤️
This is one powerful message, gently and lovingly delivered.
Yes yes yes 🙏🏿❤️ it’s all peace and love
I'm going to post the answer to your reply above so everyone can see it I did not learn about the two methodologies of crab in the barrel I was older
Because many of us have not done the inner worth right raise our self esteem, especially in the black community
"Black women are NOT my competition they are my community." I like your content, wisdom and discernment.
Yeeeeeeeeeees! We are each other's community. Awwwww! Thank you so much! Much love and joy to you! 💛🫂🌻🌺
This! All of this! There is no scarcity! You better preach! Whew! So happy for your level of clarity and discernment!
Absolutely! We can ALL thrive! 🌺☺️💛 Much love and joy to you!!!
abundance is the natural state. this BS scarcity is an illusion. makes me so happy to see people getting this. it can feel lonely at times.
"I'm a bad, she's a savage, no comparison here". You bring words from our ancestors. This is how we got through this far. We are forgetting that. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. And thank you so much for hearing my heart 🥰💛🌺
I think that’s why I allow myself to remain “small” whenever I am in what we consider a competitive setting, because I’ve had that mindset of “there can only be one” and in turn, have been so negative about my own talent, my own light. At some point, you get tired of that feeling and you get tired of dimming your light. It’s really about connecting to who you are and I’m on that journey! Thank you. ❤️
Yeeeeeeeeeees! Thank you so much for sharing this! You are definitely not alone in that. I tend to do the same thing. Let's own our "amazing". I see you. I believe in you. Much love and joy to you ☺️💛🌺
Please don’t dim your light! Change your environment so you can thrive!
“Black women are amazing.”
Me: SUBSCRIBE SUBSCRIBE SUBSCRIBE
Yeeeeeees!!! Welcome!!! I'm so glad you're here!
@@AleciaRenece so am I! I discovered you through Erica Dinero. She had this post up. I breezed through your videos and it’s the kind of vibe that I want to see black women resonate with. I wish you all the success in the world sis.
“It doesn’t have to injure us to be impactful” A word!!! I love this. I’m healing through working and wearing myself down trying to prove myself to others (and even myself) that I can do great things but it can all be so easy if I just…rest. Let it flow instead of forcing it. Gotta stay present and authentic. Amazing video! Thank you for uploading.
Thank you for making this. It’s almost like you are directly in my head. I grew up believing that there isn’t enough for all black women to succeed. Quick back story: I (a black woman) skipped grades in school and graduated high school at 15. Went on to college and grad school and became a doctor at 23. I always hated competition but was always put in arenas to compete. I experienced not having many friends due other people’s envy and jealousy of my circumstances. I was held on this “pedestal” by others as the one people should strive to be like. I grew up believing that I was that only black girl who could “succeed” (as defined by other people). Therefore, I would hoard information and not help others as much as I wish I did, simply because I thought it would take away from my success if I did so. And it’s interesting that you mentioned that you lose yourself when you’re at the “top”. I definitely felt super alone and never really felt connected to my community. So naturally, I started to pull back in my awesomeness by self deprecating, in order to try regain a community. But that only hurt me in the long run. Now, I am trying to be authentic to myself and share generously with anyone I come across because I too believe that everyone is valuable and there is enough joy and success for everyone.
I totally agree with you about the notion that we can live in abundance instead of scarcity. I hope one day every black woman comes across this video because it would definitely change mindsets and like you said we can ALL feast, we don’t have to be competitive.
Wow ; I shouldn’t have even wrote my comment because you said how I felt and experienced all my life so beautifully . 🌹
🙌🏾💖
Wow. How beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this and for sharing your honest and vulnerable story. It's so encouraging and helpful! I've definitely seen things like this play out while I was in school too. While I didn't skip a grade, I was in the TAG (talented and gifted) program in my county and the elitism was drilled in us from SUCH a young age. Thank you so much for being a light! Much love and joy to you! ☺️💛
@Annik S nooo! Your story is just as beautiful and honest 💛💛💛
I skipped grades too! it was a nightmare in the black community. But I"m grown now and own all of me including my intelligence. I'm learning to let myself shine as I shine without dimming my light to make others comfortable. It doesn't work anyway! so you might as well be yourself and be as loving and generous as you care to. There is no lack. There is enough space for all.
I’m so happy I found your channel. I been binge watching your vids yesterday and you are saying exactly how I was feeling. Black women are very disrespected in America and I’m sick of trying to fit in I want to be whole and I feel like I can’t do it here. I’m starting my journey of being an expat and want to be in a place where I can be peaceful. Thank you so much for making us that we can be worthy. ❤️
I am so excited to hear your perspective on this. It’s something vicious especially experienced between mothers and daughters, which is the foundation for daughters’ relationships with women. We need to be learning from each other and standing up for each other. Black women are all black women have in terms of political capital when it comes down to tribalism ultimately trumping ‘altruistic’ allies of convenience feigning solidarity in order to benefit from our legacy of political advocacy in order to advance their social agendas.
🎯🎯🎯
Yes it started with my moms jealousy and sabotage to me . Right on point
Such a great post Alecia! My Jamaican Grand-Mother would say "What is fi yu cya be un-fi yu!" Meaning what is for you cannot be not for you. I have to tell you I love looking at your face because I see my features in yours and I go "Man, I'm good looking!"
Susie!!! Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛☺️ You are always so GENEROUS!!! 🥰🥺 My heart is drenched in gratitude, Today! Your grandmother sounds like SUCH a wise woman and I know it would have been an honor to meet her! And yeeeeeeeeeees! Ya look GOOD! 😍💛
Let’s continue this conversation because this very clamoring and clawing behavior continues to distract us from our purpose. Imagine really being our best selves
Absolutely! We definitely will! 💛💛💛 Thank you so much for all of your encouragement and support. ❤️❤️❤️ The world would be HEAVENLY if we were to be our best selves.
I don't believe in participation trophies but I do believe there's a time and place for everything. Meaning, everything is not a competition.
True. I feel you. There are others who agree. I just don't like competing. I don't see the point, honestly. I get it for sports and stuff but for every day life...? Nah. But if we're talking about not competing with others, there has to be room for them (just my opinion).
i hope you realize youre exorcising so much negative karma out of the community with this. the impact of this message can create lifetimes of abundance. you most definitely have a blessing for healing, and im almost certain you healed many people from past lifetimes. thats why youre so talented at this
Oh wow! I'm honored that this resonates with so many folks. Ite my pleasure to create and share and help others shake the shame. My goal is to see us truly FREE. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. It really fuels me to keep going! Much love and joy to you 💛💛💛
You did it again. Spoke directly to my soul. I'm in tears about to rewind this video. You're light is infectious and I'm glad to have caught it. Let this serve as another confirmation, you done good. Love this Alecia.
Wow! Yvette! 🥺🥰💛 I don't even have the words. Thank you so much! I am so grateful and honored that this video touched you so. Thank you so much for seeing me, for making room for me. It means so much! 💛💛💛 Much love and joy to you always!
YOU NEED MORE VIDEOS LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. SHORT CLIPS OF WHAT IS MASTERFUL OF BLACK WOMEN. CALLING THEM INNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. YOU GOT IT. I STUDY RUclips. YOU GOT ITTTTTTTT. WE HAVE TO TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This lights me up SO much! Let's!!!
wonderful video!!! I definitely the shrinking myself for others. i got so much unwarranted snapping from other BW including in my family all because of their own insecurities. I started shrinking myself and it hasnt lead to good results.
I'm grateful I experienced your segment. I modeled for a short time but growing up I was not considered beautiful. After my teens I started getting exposure and met a couple of well knows in the industry. Funny thing is, I've had a few black men suggest that I wasn't the best looking. This only came from men and women who mainstream society would consider less attractive people. You are correct, there are men and women who benefit from upholding a certain kind of beauty or sexy idealization. You, Alicia are beautiful woman. You don't have to look like someone else or less like you to be equally beautiful. People are taught, especially AA to glorify a certain aesthetic. They call it a preference, they don't understand or have the capacity to realize this on a conscious level. You have beautiful Egyptian, almond shaped eyes, you have beautiful full pink lips ( some people pay big money to get larger, plumper lips). Anyone who has inferred otherwise is simply brainwashed or threatened. These sublte inferences sometimes come from people you would least expect. You're gorgeous! I'm not playing the game either, and I don't date men who do.
Oh wow!!! 😢🥰 I am overwhelmed in such a beautiful way. Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛 For sharing your story and for sharing such beautiful, generous and kind words with me. Thank you. And thank you for not playing the game and freeing us to not have to play it either.
thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. as BW I've felt the same way, so I appreciate the perspective you have. beauty, intelligence, and talent are abundant. and there is enough to include me :)
Unfortunately, the mentality that there can only be one Black (fill in the blank), is alive and well. This mindset is sooo engrained in every part of American culture that I think too many of US have simply become immune to and complicit with it. However, it's never too late to change out thinking. So, we can be about our own business of living in our own brilliance.
What is for you is for you..so true
Absolutely!!! 💛💛💛
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! Your commentary really illustrates the difference between toxic ambition and true inspiration. You mentioned "generosity." Generosity is a component of love, and if we learned to love ourselves, each other, and all things, that would be the end of those who use us to remain in control. They wouldn't last fifteen minutes.
Absolutely 💛💛💛 I could not agree more 🌺☺️
Amen and asé! I thought I was alone in going through this thought process re: scarcity not being a thing, and that if we all just focused on being a lot more generous - less selfish - we would all eat! We’d all be taken care of. Same thing with relationships… if each partner gave 100% instead of seeking their just own pleasures, everyone would feel loved, honored, cared for. It’s just intimidating to put this into practice when no one else in your real-life sphere of influence agrees or thinks this way, because in giving your all without reciprocity you become a doormat.
Candace, YEEEEEES!!! And I totally understand the fear. It's hard to be generous when others don't think the same way. I've decided to be generous anyway. Change can start with me, but I'm also being intentional with who I surround myself to. Much love and joy to you!
This is beautiful! Speak it!
Thank you so much! 💛🌺
You speak from such a pure and clear place. I am grateful to have discovered your channel. Please continue to bring healing to the world. I really appreciate you.
That's an excellent point about generosity. I have often said that people who are Hoarders because they're scared that the other person won't contribute end up becoming the very people that they fear. If everybody gave of themselves nobody would lack
Woooooooow! How profound!!! The self fulfilling prophecy. You become who you fear. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this! 💛💛💛
Yes sis, this video was amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to make this kind of content. There have certainly been times when I felt like I needed to shrink myself in order to make room for another sister that I felt was more brilliant than me. But you have confirmed for me that not only is it unnecessary for me to do that, but it's harmful. Shrinking myself doesn't serve ANYONE. Thank you so much. I will be more intentional about taking up all the space I was created to take.
Yeeeeeeeeeees! Take up spaaaace!!! 🌺🌻🤗💛
Yes have been in that space where I felt like I had to compete for one spot. Before I was a female rapper and this was the early 2000's, during the time when you very much had gate keepers in the industry. And mind you during 2002-2009 there really wasn't no mainstream female rappers. I came out on some roots in hip hop type stuff, where music was used to shed light on issues in our communities. Females were very much looked down upon like we were just toys or s_x objects and if we didn't compete in the game for that one spot, which competition didn't mean rap battling like it for men, it meant how sexually provocative you could be, or what bigger name in the industry you slept with, and if you didn't pay that game your music was never heard. And what was so funny they didn't do that to black men, you could have Rick Ross, TI, David Banner,... They told us a female would never sell, people aren't looking for female talent. Then 2009 came and Nicki broke into the industry and sold more than the men, but then at that point any woman coming in had to be just like Nicki and for a while she was the only, not because she was the only female rapper, but because there could only be one. And if there are two they put them against each other...
You are speaking truth. Everything you said resonates with me. I'm not playing the game either. Thank you for living your truth and bringing great content.
I appreciate you so much. Thank you so much for hearing me!
ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HANDS ON DECKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! THAT IS HOW REVOLUTION HAPPENS!!!!!!!!
Absolutely!!! 💛💛💛
Who is creating the barrel? THAT WHOLE PART! This was such an awesome conversation that should continue
Excellent. Even big business owners in the West have been reading books about "blue ocean strategy" -- trying to move outside the scarcity mindset -- because it is destructive in a world in which scarcity IS NOT TRUE. For us as Black women, the survival of the whole race has depended on us accessing abundance when no one else could see it... we just have to believe we can, for ourselves now...
Yeeeeeeeeeees! I LOVE this comment SO much. Thank you so much! 🤗💛🌻🌺
Loving the hair!
Thank you so much!!! 🥰💛
It's because collectively, there has been a scarcity mindset that has been propogandized in our community. We are abundant in nature Black women, in all areas of human activity. Embrace and believe it.
Now THIS is a message that I can get behind!! Yes jealousy/envy can be a wake up call to everything you're holding your own self back from. GO FOR IT! and we get to ask for & receive help without shame if/when we need it. Scarcity is a mindset promoted by society to manufacture insecurity & fear. We are all amazing just by being. And we get to be whatever we want.
There is ONLY Abundance. That is truth. Let be BRILLIANT ladies each in our own unique happy ways. Asé
Yeeeeeeeeeees!!! Go for it!!! There is ONLY abundance. I love that so much. Thank you 💛🌺☺️
Thank you 👑 queen
I just adore you and your channel!
Oh wow! Thank you so much! 💛💛💛☺️🥰
THIS IS YOUR MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE AN ORATORICAL AND ARTISTIC GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SENDING THIS TO EVERYONE I KNOW. WE AREN'T CRABS IN A BARREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE IN THESE COMMENTS SEND THIS VIDEO TO EVERY BLACK WOMAN YOU KNOW NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow!!! Thank you so much!!! 🥰💛💕
I support what you said about not competing with another BW. But as a group we must compete, that's how the world works unfortunately.
It is unfortunate, but I think we can decide to create the community we want to live and thrive in. While we are surrounded by wickedness, I choose to opt out as much as I can by lifting up and celebrating others. It starts with making changes in our own spheres of influence. And honestly, this is the only place (The West) where it's normal to compete as we do. Other nations live very well communally. We've just been indoctrinated with these ideals and ways of life. 💛💛💛
Competing is not the issue, the issue is people treating you badly because they see you as a threat. That is unhealthy competition
BEING GENEROUSSSSSSSSSSS
I would enjoy you touring and giving girl talk events. I'm waiting for the book to come out. I never cared to be envious because we all have a talent that shines even when we don't see it. Besides I already have enough stress to compare myself besides comparing yourself to others will only steal your joy 😊
I completely agree with you. And touring and talking is something I long to do. I may just start doing it when we tour in our RV. 💛🌻🌺🥹 Thank you for this. This is confirmation! Much love and joy to you!
@@AleciaRenece just supporting another Sister.
I respect your honesty in this video. I still have to remind myself of this sometimes too...we can all shine!
Same here! We're all works in progress taking it a day at a time. Much love and joy to you! I see you and celebrate you! 💛💛💛
We all do 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes Yes!!! Thank you for beautifully articulating my thoughts on this topic, you're a blessing to planet Earth, just imagined if more people had this mindset, the world would be a much better place. Thank you!
This whole video is life, I loved this ❤
Oh wow! What a compliment! Thank you so much! 💛☺️ Much love and joy to you!!!
Imitation is the best form of flattery, so when I see someone getting their hair done like mine when I see someone wearing clothes like mine sometimes it raises the eyebrow but then that's how God made me to be he made me to be an inspiration to other people to let them know that yes you too can succeed yes you too can be a better human being you two can volunteer with the community you two can open a book and read it and stay off of social media and don't have television and spend your time doing God's work and not leading a secular life but not just an appearance but also in Etiquette and manners and volunteering in in charity which I believe it starts in the home, so sometimes I raised eyebrows specialist somebody goes out and gets maybe the same ring I have I smile after I frown I'm only human LOL because after all who did I who did I take my cue from in life the women that surrounded me my mentor or tried my best to follow in her footsteps, and she is some of everything. She's smart, educated a leader lookout for a family give the charity volunteers a very loving and caring person and then I didn't have to choose a path of getting married coming out of college but I can work and get married later in life just like she did so therefore she inspired me I'm only Standing Tall because I was standing on her shoulders along my mother's shoulders and all the women that came before me
I LOVE that "standing tall on their shoulders". That's literally my belief as well. I am because they are. I'd be nothing without my community. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. This lovely reminder ☺️🌺💛
They're two methodologies with crab in the barrel one is the one that you're mentioning but the other one is to protect you because it's a very cruel, unfair brutal opportunity, praying on and it doesn't matter if you have a PhD or if you have a stellar Plumbing business no one said the world be kind to you or meet you where you are no one said that. when the crab pulls you back down is to protect you from the outside world
I get what you're saying, and I do agree that some folks try to protect each other. For that I would say we need to build our own communities where we don't need to protect anyone from the cruel world. Our own eco system, if you will. We also shouldn't be in the barrel in the first place. The barrel was manufactured and someone put us there. Crabs are supposed to be at the beach, in the ocean living. We've been sold a lie that we have to live in the bucket in the first place, you know? Thank you so much for sharing this perspective, it's super important to include in this conversation 💛🌺☺️
I want us, black women, to come together more, too
Brilliant and Much Needed Message💚💚💚
Thank you so much! 💛💛💛
When you live from a place of spirit, the physical doesn't matter. Once you identify your reason for coming to earth, you realize you are enough.
Give and it shall be given unto you. Abundance
Absolutely! ☺️💛
From the title I was all in. I’m HERE FOR IT!
Welcome!!! I'm so glad you're here! I hope you enjoy it ☺️💛
Like yourself I've never had an overly competitive spirit. I only compete for fun; anything else is too draining. And you're right we all have gifts so I can appreciate the gifts in others. I am getting older so sometimes I will see another Black woman and secretly check for aging signs (that Black don't crack theory) and do a slight comparison. I guess there's no such thing as a complete lack of vanity. Excellent thoughts on this conundrum! Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing that! That is really encouraging and helpful. Much love and joy to you!
Well said Alecia Renece💚.
Thank you so much! ☺️💛🥰
OMG!!! I close my eyes and I swear it is me!! Your tone, inflection, insight, speed of speech. You nailed it. Wow. #VerbalTwinning
Ayyyyye! Shout out to you!!! I see you and celebrate you!
@@AleciaRenece I return it back to you, and give you full permission & space to show up❤️❤️
I want to find you and give you a big hug for making this. I love your contents. You are a brilliant lady and I applaud your realness. Wish I could like this a million times. The black community need to see this. We do not share enough and should be more willing to share because there is Definetely room for us all to thrive.
Oh wow! 🥺💕 Thank you so MUUUUUUUUCH!!! ☺️🥰💛 It is my absolute pleasure to create and share with y'all. My heart is full! *BIG HUGS* Much love and joy to you!!!
Excellent commentary, I really appreciate the honesty and good conversation keep up his good work this is what young people need to hear and I would also like to hear it because your RUclips my only social media
You're so generous. Thank you so much for sharing this 💛💛💛 its super encouraging and helpful! Much love and joy to you! 🥰☺️🌺
I'm ready sis☮️💟💰
Thank you for this MUCH needed discussion!!! I so appreciate your depth and authenticity when discussing these issues. In an effort to better understand, my dissertation focused on social-comparison jealousy among Black Women.
Oooooooooh! I LOOOOOOVE this. 💛🌺🌻 I would LOVE to read it. That sounds amazing.
@@AleciaRenece Thank you!!! This further motivates me to convert my dissertation to a book for Black Women.
Gurl I love me some you 🤗❤❤❤
🥹🥰 You're so sweet!! Much love and joy to you, Beautiful!!! ☺️💛 Thank you so much for your support and kindness. It really goes a long way. 🤗
Wonderfully true.
So very thrilled to hear your perspectives ty so! ✨👌
Thank you so much for hearing my heart! 💛🌺☺️
.. and I did I really did! 🍃💐 You must know that I Am among those who live this way every day and have ALWAYS and We direct supportive positive energy✨ to give strength and direction towards your intention to plant an alternative view to us! It is not the way to treat ourselves and it disturbs our internal balance causing disturbances in both our bodies and affairs to live that way. We can never win as individuals nor as a collective seeing life as a constant struggle or as a fight against anything. What is the more elevated approach but what you suggest here by your open minded wise and insightful thought on a subject that is at the root of most of our problems having been set up to hate on each other? Girl GO DO IT SOME MO just keep on sharing! 🔹🔷🔹
💗💕
Your videos always come out when I need them most. Thank you so much for your voice
Oh wow! For that my soul is SO glad! 💛💛💛 What an honor to be able to serve others at the time they need. Such joy! Love and joy to you always! ❤️❤️❤️
PREACH
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Thank you for opening my mind and challenging my beliefs, this is so relieving. 🤗❤️
*BIG HUGS*
Great Perspective 🤔♥️🤗
Thank you so much for hearing my perspective ☺️💛 Much love and joy to you!
Thank you; there is room for all of us.
This message is beautiful and so welcoming. What a wonderful word to wake up to!
Thank you so much for hearing my heart! 💛☺️
Our ability to fill up our space is also contingent on how we define "success or "opportunity." To me, under the banner of capitalism/white supremacy, both of these are false constructs that put us at odds with every other living being. I mean, even if we were accepted, we'd only be given the chance to aid and abet them in their quest to exploit and enslave others. Experience/history has shown us that if we refuse this option, traditional success is denied us. But that's a blessing because ambition, under these conditions, is the compulsion to destroy in order to prove a false point. Black women are the womb from which an entirely new existence will be born. That is, IF WE LEARN TO TRUST OURSELVES, and not listen to the ones who snub us because we won't hurt others to get what we want. Our good character, and our talent will create the first, ever, principled environment. Here, as Alecia so aptly points out, all women will be welcome, celebrated, and most of all, loved. And when the word gets out, others will follow.
ALL. 👏🏾 OF. 👏🏾 THIS. 👏🏾 I couldn't have said it more eloquently myself. Thank you so much for sharing this! This is absolutely LOVELY. Much love and joy to you!!! 💛☺️🌺
@@AleciaRenece And to you. These are the thoughts I mostly keep to myself, with the exception of my two sons, because people just stare at me like I'm crazy. But to be on the same page with a young lady like you, so tender, honest, and true, with such keen perception for one young enough to be my daughter, or even my granddaughter, is a true honor. And so, it is I who thank You.
Thank you for this sis! Well done!
Thank you so much!!! 💛💛💛
Excellent content! Alecia you are hitting areas where many will not tread. Thank you for your transparency & vulnerability. I can certainly relate.
Thank you so much for seeing me and hearing my heart. It truly means so much 💛🥰
@@AleciaRenece You are welcome.
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💛💛💛💛💛☺️🥰
Great video Sis! 💛💛💛💛💛💛
Thank you so much!!! 🥰💕
Thanks!
It's my pleasure! ☺️🌺💛🤗
The video I didn't know I needed. Thank you ❤️
I love this. Well said, queen!
I love this ugh 🫶🏾
Wowwwww this was it♥️♥️♥️ thank you
There's room for everybody but they will not make room let's look at the editor of Vogue how long has she been achieving editor of Vogue Anna she's been there what 450 years when is she going to sit down and give someone else's the seat same thing with the woman@facebook who did leaning leaning what she doesn't invite anybody to the table with her you can move over and become a board member and let another woman fill that seat
Absolutely!