This topic is very important in today's society. A man always has to be a laborer, a provider, a protector and a leader in a Christian home setting. I didn't say he doesn't help in the others chores. He has to contribute!
My school of thought is a stay-at-home mom is a enough job/purpose. I'm building my family and children to be Christlike and ready for society. Doing a job and taking care of my babies is kidogo tricky. My children will suffer and I'd rather raise them myself and live a minimal life. This video has reminded me quick fast that being in Kenya is a privilege. You can comfortably pay for nannies and you can send your children to school without worrying that they will be taught demonic ideologies. Because this the USA is not it. 😅
This was a very insightful conversation owing to the fact that life today has so many dynamics that affect dads and moms. Our understanding of the core foundations of fatherhood and motherhood as God intended it will go a long way in helping us build strong families and healthy societies. Keep it up folks... God bless y'all!
Love love love this conversation. You opened me up to angles of thought that i had not imagined 🤯 Thank you guys ..we are learning and increasing in wisdom.
50:27 I learned something today guys so important, this is a treasure to girls and boys who grew up without or wirh absent father figures, God blessed you with knowledge guys thanks for blessing us with it. I believe He blessed you to bless us❤
Bigger question is the in-laws.. family get togethers where the ice breaker question is "so what do you do?" Also career pressure... when financial contraints of the economy begins to speak to the woman on her not so fine days... and she starts listening to others who have traditional mindsets of mans roles. Many young people have gotten divorced in their 1st yr of marriage because of the wife feeling they are not being pampered like baby gurl... or how they saw their fathers took care of their mums. This conversation is societal as well.
Hey Ivy. Thank you for pointing this out. It's very true how pressure tends to get the best of us. I pray that we grow more grounded in who we are and our understanding of our roles in marriage so as to counter the sentiments spoken by other people.
Soila wamalwa mama... I love your line of thought and how you aticulate it.. For men to see provision as just not financial it requires a maturity higher than that of just a deep voice and beards...also as a stay at home mum raising a gal and a boy i have found myself asking what am i showing my daughter.. Subconsciously i am showing her that women stay back to raise kids men go out to bring resources... I dont want that for my daughter
Hello Esther. Thank you for your kind sentiments. I love that you are conscious about how you are raising your kids. It's critical that we are intentional about what we do around them because they are always watching for sure.
The term "stay at home dad or mum" tends to sound like a parent who is not substantially productive compared to a career dad or mum, which isn't true. Stay at home parents, contribute to the family in a different way that equally has and adds value to the home. A Stay at home parent ( mum or dad) who have been in the corporate field and switch to being with the kids will affect them both because both men and women experience depression. There are ladies who love adventure and being out there as well. That's why you find some Stay at home mums will say she feels she is behind, she is not doing much, her uni friends have advanced and likewise a man will feel the same which means it cuts across both for the dad or mum. On the other hand, there are some dad's that enjoy being with their kids, they don't have to do the chores ( a help can be hired to clean and prep meals) some dads like the pickup routine, playtime and creativity with kids, homework & planning their development... etc Should dad's be Stay at home dads? That lies with proper planning with the wife, consideration of what it takes, how to manage the mental health of each partner so that the house still stands. Who knows dad's can lead in teaching mums how to navigate the challenges of staying at home and can also show men how to appreciate what the Stay at home mums do. All contributing to purpose and enriching marriage.
Struggling with the sound today 😅, hoping it's just my computer... Can I just say though, that example set at 9:40 by you Curtis... that is so big... such humility. Your average man would stay at home and not touch the dishes or the floor, leaving them for the woman to come do it. Good on you man 👏👏👏 Thank you for the perspective twist too! I think we ignore these things until life happens... before you know it, the marriage is gone. It helps to dissect them like this. These panels are such a meaningful use of our time and mind, safe to say I do grow because of them. Thanks again S&C!
Hey Makau. Sorry for the sound experience? How exactly is the sound on your end? Is it the volume or clarity? Otherwise, we're glad that you pushed through the entire video. Barikiwa sana.
@@SoilaandCurtis Clarity for sure... Sounds like sound was captured via earphone mic 😅. Not as crystal clear as the other vids. I think I loved the content so much I forgot about it either ways, hehe. Thank you so much for replying to my comment... It means a plenty. 🙏🏽🥳🥳
I love this and learning alot... Doing good guys since I came across this page am always refreshing my RUclips to check whether you have posted something big up for we are learning alot, how I wish u can be bringing this sessions twice a week. Nawapenda sana❤
It's now called unpaid care work because it is work. It is called unpaid care work because for example a housekeeper or nanny is paid for the work involved in care and housekeeping. They receive a salary.
Being a stay at home dad should be a mutual decision. In the case where this decision is not being taken for financial reasons (loss of a job) but because there are other values that one would want the child or children to get and not to get this from people outside the family circular.
When is the tea happening so that we have this conversation ya PS4.. Curtis, when you are bough for the PS4 nitakuja tucheze and that is how men declutter 🤣🤣🤣
I know some guys want to sound phylosophical but bruh if you truly believe in God you know that men are providers period people just want to add variables here and there try twist scenarios but the normal standard way is men should not be stay at home and if you are on the low then your woman stepping in is helping you since your wife should be a helper
I believe that the position that a man cannot be a stay at home father is a backward one. The idea that he still has to 'go out and look' is wrong and diminises the role of a stay at home parent to nothing. Why should it be right for a woman to do it and not a man? Honestly, I've heard a lot as a stay at home mother like i don't value myself. What am i going to do when the children leave? How am i contributing to the home? I'll get depressed. I am depressed. My husband will mot value me (when infact he does - very much). I'll resent him and my children. My mind will regress. And a lot more. Why doesn't it matter that God has placed this desire in my heart (and He did long before i had children)? I have no desire for a career now. I never have. I worked before they came and i worked well, because that was where God placed me at that time. I enjoyed it but i feel fulfilled now, in what i do. What matters for anyone is where God has called them to work. I'll go back to the marketplace if/when the Lord should call me to do so. But for now, He has called me to homeschool my children and be their first point of learning how to navigate this world. Career can wait. It won't be my legacy. And if it was my husband called to do this, i would support him 100%. I also don't believe that doing something on the side is right. One part will suffer. Why do something if you can't give it your all?
Hi Kena. Thank you for your perspective on the matter. You make a lot of sense. I do concure with you that yes, it's important to know what pattern God has set for you and align to it fully. Because it is only by doing so that one get's satisfaction. However. I don't think we can hold the same standard for men as we do for women. Biblically, God designed men and women very differently, especially even in matters of the home. I think the challenge with the modern times is that we have blurred the lines of roles so much so that sometimes we can't tell the difference between what men ought to do versus what women ought to do. If we look at biblical templates all the way from Genesis to Paul's epistles on how men and women ought to relate in a home setup, we see men designed to be providers (physically, emotional, psychologically, materially). Can women be able to perform this role as well? Of course they can, from the position of a helper. But the overall responsibility falls on the man. Same thing to nurturing children, can men step in, of course they can. But the overall responsibility for that rests on women. This is not only biblical but also proven according to social science. This doesn't mean that one gender makes a better parent than the other, it simply means that they are graced and built differently. And it is therefore important to know, how far are we stepping in as helpers, and how far are we meant to assume the overall responsibility. As I mentioned earlier, if God has explicitly told you that as a woman your role is to stay at home and take care of the kids, by all means do it and be proud about it and give nobody any apologies. However, I personally believe that there is more to a woman than taking care of kids and the Proverbs 31 woman will agree with me. That there is nothing wrong with doing something on the side if God provides that path. Finally, I beg to differ with your opening statement, that is, "I believe that the position that a man cannot be a stay at home father is a backward one", While both fathers and mothers can be stay at home parents, studies show that women are just much better built at performing this task better than men. Ofcourse you will find exceptions to the rule but from an aggregate observation, women are more equipped at staying at home than men. This is both from a cultural perspective as well as biological, emotional and psychological aspects. Curtis,
Stay at home and work from home is different you can stay at home but spend a whole day online working or editing or writing or doing whatever people do online that's not being a stay at home dad it's called working from home
Curtis is just smiling as Soila is speaking and in his mind he is like "that's my WIFE!!!!!"
Hahaha. You can say that again!
I love the guy in the middle.well balanced thought
This topic is very important in today's society. A man always has to be a laborer, a provider, a protector and a leader in a Christian home setting. I didn't say he doesn't help in the others chores. He has to contribute!
Exactly! Men are made to work. It may take different forms, but work is work.
Truly loved the destination analogy shared by Curtis and Edward.
My school of thought is a stay-at-home mom is a enough job/purpose. I'm building my family and children to be Christlike and ready for society.
Doing a job and taking care of my babies is kidogo tricky. My children will suffer and I'd rather raise them myself and live a minimal life.
This video has reminded me quick fast that being in Kenya is a privilege. You can comfortably pay for nannies and you can send your children to school without worrying that they will be taught demonic ideologies.
Because this the USA is not it. 😅
Weh! We pray for more grace for you back in the states. I know the demands on you guys is usually crazy especially when it comes to time.
Love your content and consistency 💕
Candid, enjoyed listening👏
This was a very insightful conversation owing to the fact that life today has so many dynamics that affect dads and moms. Our understanding of the core foundations of fatherhood and motherhood as God intended it will go a long way in helping us build strong families and healthy societies.
Keep it up folks... God bless y'all!
You have said it pretty well John!
i love this coversation and i follow mothers by grace
Awesome! More collaboration with them coming up.
I love your channel and your content so much.
Could you please improve the sound quality pretty please.❤
Learning session soila is full of Wisdom
Great conversation, I learn a lot from you guys 👌🏽👏🏽
Love love love this conversation. You opened me up to angles of thought that i had not imagined 🤯 Thank you guys ..we are learning and increasing in wisdom.
Awesome! Gald you enjoyed the episode Jacinta.
this was so amaaazzzinngggg
Middle couple more balanced views. Keep it up
❤❤❤❤ nice topic i quit from work since my first born 2018 up to now baby no3 iam not regretting i just put off manenos from friends
50:27 I learned something today guys so important, this is a treasure to girls and boys who grew up without or wirh absent father figures, God blessed you with knowledge guys thanks for blessing us with it. I believe He blessed you to bless us❤
Bigger question is the in-laws.. family get togethers where the ice breaker question is "so what do you do?"
Also career pressure... when financial contraints of the economy begins to speak to the woman on her not so fine days... and she starts listening to others who have traditional mindsets of mans roles.
Many young people have gotten divorced in their 1st yr of marriage because of the wife feeling they are not being pampered like baby gurl... or how they saw their fathers took care of their mums.
This conversation is societal as well.
Hey Ivy. Thank you for pointing this out. It's very true how pressure tends to get the best of us. I pray that we grow more grounded in who we are and our understanding of our roles in marriage so as to counter the sentiments spoken by other people.
i learn so much from you guys, God bless you.
Soila wamalwa mama... I love your line of thought and how you aticulate it.. For men to see provision as just not financial it requires a maturity higher than that of just a deep voice and beards...also as a stay at home mum raising a gal and a boy i have found myself asking what am i showing my daughter.. Subconsciously i am showing her that women stay back to raise kids men go out to bring resources... I dont want that for my daughter
Hello Esther. Thank you for your kind sentiments. I love that you are conscious about how you are raising your kids. It's critical that we are intentional about what we do around them because they are always watching for sure.
Very Informative!😍😍😍
The term "stay at home dad or mum" tends to sound like a parent who is not substantially productive compared to a career dad or mum, which isn't true. Stay at home parents, contribute to the family in a different way that equally has and adds value to the home. A Stay at home parent ( mum or dad) who have been in the corporate field and switch to being with the kids will affect them both because both men and women experience depression. There are ladies who love adventure and being out there as well. That's why you find some Stay at home mums will say she feels she is behind, she is not doing much, her uni friends have advanced and likewise a man will feel the same which means it cuts across both for the dad or mum. On the other hand, there are some dad's that enjoy being with their kids, they don't have to do the chores ( a help can be hired to clean and prep meals) some dads like the pickup routine, playtime and creativity with kids, homework & planning their development... etc
Should dad's be Stay at home dads? That lies with proper planning with the wife, consideration of what it takes, how to manage the mental health of each partner so that the house still stands. Who knows dad's can lead in teaching mums how to navigate the challenges of staying at home and can also show men how to appreciate what the Stay at home mums do. All contributing to purpose and enriching marriage.
I couldn't have said it better Ivy! This is a brilliant breakdown of the terminologies. Thank you. Much blessings for this.
Love the Curtis. Love it more when they have friends couple around. Have to intent to show up for next conversation they have.
Thank you Elizabeth. We are enjoying having our friends too. Breath of fresh air indeed.
Struggling with the sound today 😅, hoping it's just my computer... Can I just say though, that example set at 9:40 by you Curtis... that is so big... such humility. Your average man would stay at home and not touch the dishes or the floor, leaving them for the woman to come do it. Good on you man 👏👏👏
Thank you for the perspective twist too! I think we ignore these things until life happens... before you know it, the marriage is gone. It helps to dissect them like this. These panels are such a meaningful use of our time and mind, safe to say I do grow because of them. Thanks again S&C!
Hey Makau. Sorry for the sound experience? How exactly is the sound on your end? Is it the volume or clarity? Otherwise, we're glad that you pushed through the entire video. Barikiwa sana.
@@SoilaandCurtis Clarity for sure... Sounds like sound was captured via earphone mic 😅. Not as crystal clear as the other vids.
I think I loved the content so much I forgot about it either ways, hehe. Thank you so much for replying to my comment... It means a plenty. 🙏🏽🥳🥳
I have really loved this session. Thank you for bringing enlightening points and truths across.🤗🤝 We continue to grow in knowledge. Great job guys.
Thank you Tabulous. Glad ypu enjoyed this one too.
Oh Lord I am so excited for the upload. Liked before watching, can’t wait to unpack it
I hope you enjoyed it Christine? 🙂
@@SoilaandCurtis totally always a joy watching you guys
I love the lessons that I'm picking through this space ..this was a very informative discussion
Thank you for staying tuned Lavigne.
Thanks for sharing..be blessed 🙏
Be blessed as well.
I love this and learning alot... Doing good guys since I came across this page am always refreshing my RUclips to check whether you have posted something big up for we are learning alot, how I wish u can be bringing this sessions twice a week. Nawapenda sana❤
Sorry that we aren't usually as consisent with posting videos but we value you guys and always striving to do more. Much love to you too Perry.
Love from #Rwanda.. Always challenging and inspiring!
Thank you Fee. Shoutout to our Rwanda family!
Wuehhhh.... learning is a process...it's not a one day thing....am not married butttt trust me am learning here.... this episode is epic❤
WILL YOU MARRY ME😂
Thank you Diane. We are glad yo have you on board as we learn together.
This is powerful!
Thank you Princess.
It's now called unpaid care work because it is work. It is called unpaid care work because for example a housekeeper or nanny is paid for the work involved in care and housekeeping. They receive a salary.
This is a very interesting perspective, and actually makes plenty of sense.
beautiful conversation😍
Thank you for watching Esther.
😂😂😂 Very verrrryyy interesting conversation
Big up
Thank you Joelo.
Being a stay at home dad should be a mutual decision. In the case where this decision is not being taken for financial reasons (loss of a job) but because there are other values that one would want the child or children to get and not to get this from people outside the family circular.
Exactly! It becomes very tricky when there is no agreement between the spouses.
This was an interesting conversation. I am from Namibia and the concept of stay at home mom/dad is very foreign
Hello Frieda. Would love to hear some more from how Namibia is.
When is the tea happening so that we have this conversation ya PS4.. Curtis, when you are bough for the PS4 nitakuja tucheze and that is how men declutter 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
❤❤❤❤❤❤
The way Eddy stares at the camera🤣
😂
But what about having a dad who homeschool, isn't that a full time job?
That is a full time job Bramuel. Kwanza teaching isn't a joke for sure.
I know some guys want to sound phylosophical but bruh if you truly believe in God you know that men are providers period people just want to add variables here and there try twist scenarios but the normal standard way is men should not be stay at home and if you are on the low then your woman stepping in is helping you since your wife should be a helper
Sober conversation
For am only human
I believe that the position that a man cannot be a stay at home father is a backward one. The idea that he still has to 'go out and look' is wrong and diminises the role of a stay at home parent to nothing. Why should it be right for a woman to do it and not a man? Honestly, I've heard a lot as a stay at home mother like i don't value myself. What am i going to do when the children leave? How am i contributing to the home? I'll get depressed. I am depressed. My husband will mot value me (when infact he does - very much). I'll resent him and my children. My mind will regress. And a lot more. Why doesn't it matter that God has placed this desire in my heart (and He did long before i had children)? I have no desire for a career now. I never have. I worked before they came and i worked well, because that was where God placed me at that time. I enjoyed it but i feel fulfilled now, in what i do.
What matters for anyone is where God has called them to work. I'll go back to the marketplace if/when the Lord should call me to do so. But for now, He has called me to homeschool my children and be their first point of learning how to navigate this world. Career can wait. It won't be my legacy. And if it was my husband called to do this, i would support him 100%.
I also don't believe that doing something on the side is right. One part will suffer. Why do something if you can't give it your all?
Hi Kena. Thank you for your perspective on the matter. You make a lot of sense. I do concure with you that yes, it's important to know what pattern God has set for you and align to it fully. Because it is only by doing so that one get's satisfaction. However. I don't think we can hold the same standard for men as we do for women. Biblically, God designed men and women very differently, especially even in matters of the home. I think the challenge with the modern times is that we have blurred the lines of roles so much so that sometimes we can't tell the difference between what men ought to do versus what women ought to do.
If we look at biblical templates all the way from Genesis to Paul's epistles on how men and women ought to relate in a home setup, we see men designed to be providers (physically, emotional, psychologically, materially). Can women be able to perform this role as well? Of course they can, from the position of a helper. But the overall responsibility falls on the man.
Same thing to nurturing children, can men step in, of course they can. But the overall responsibility for that rests on women. This is not only biblical but also proven according to social science.
This doesn't mean that one gender makes a better parent than the other, it simply means that they are graced and built differently. And it is therefore important to know, how far are we stepping in as helpers, and how far are we meant to assume the overall responsibility.
As I mentioned earlier, if God has explicitly told you that as a woman your role is to stay at home and take care of the kids, by all means do it and be proud about it and give nobody any apologies. However, I personally believe that there is more to a woman than taking care of kids and the Proverbs 31 woman will agree with me. That there is nothing wrong with doing something on the side if God provides that path.
Finally, I beg to differ with your opening statement, that is, "I believe that the position that a man cannot be a stay at home father is a backward one",
While both fathers and mothers can be stay at home parents, studies show that women are just much better built at performing this task better than men. Ofcourse you will find exceptions to the rule but from an aggregate observation, women are more equipped at staying at home than men. This is both from a cultural perspective as well as biological, emotional and psychological aspects.
Curtis,
Stay at home and work from home is different you can stay at home but spend a whole day online working or editing or writing or doing whatever people do online that's not being a stay at home dad it's called working from home
Well said!
Word of the day;Women buy your men PS5 so they can decompress their emotions with their friends 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I enjoyed the Convo and learnt much....
Thank you for watching Mercy. Glad you enjoyed it. 🙂