The Dangers Of ‘Mommy Burnout’: Moms Open Up About Alcohol Abuse & Getting Sober | Megyn Kelly TODAY
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- Опубликовано: 23 апр 2018
- From raising children to work stress, many moms deal with “mommy burnout” by drinking. Two mothers, who are now more than four years sober, open up on Megyn Kelly TODAY about how a few glasses of wine evolved into binge drinking, mental health issues and even driving while intoxicated. “My kids say they like mom better without alcohol,” says mother and psychotherapist Kelley Kitley, who was joined by writer and mother Laura McKowen. Megyn Kelly also talks with friend and mother of three Aidan Donn
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The Dangers Of ‘Mommy Burnout’: Moms Open Up About Alcohol Abuse & Getting Sober | Megyn Kelly TODAY
Excessive drinking is becoming a huge problem in our society, and the number of people who abuse alcohol is sky rocketing. It’s growing incredibly fast for women especially. I applaud these ladies for being so transparent, and starting an important conversation!
Well said! I’m doing a 90 day challenge myself. Mommy shouldn’t need to equal wine
Mommy doesn't need wine, she needs time for herself.
I trully hate the "Mommy needs wine" culture.
Nena M one more time for the folks in the back!
She shouldn’t have kids if she needs time for herself. Don’t have kids if you want time for yourself, at least for a few years. People are stupid.
@@mgal6234 That's the kind of attitude that leads people to a burnout though. Everybody needs time for themselves, your sanity won't let you work 24/7 for too long without a break. The point is that breaks needn't always be filled with excessive drinking, which can lead to more problems than it solves.
TRASHoftheTITANS Sorry but when a woman FIRST HAS a child, that child should be NUMERO UNO for at least a solid year. Ideally for the first two years. It isn’t my “attitude” and I didn’t write the Attachment Theories in psychology, but they’re available for your perusal via Google.
@@mgal6234 I am aware of attachment theory and I fully support the idea, but I don't believe it should mean that a mother ought to spend every single waking second with their baby for that length of time. When I say a break, I'm not talking about a week's holiday or anything, but a couple of hours out of the house now and then to go for a coffee or go shopping, even the occasional night out with friends. As important as the early stages are, it's also important to look after yourself. How can you expect to raise a healthy child if you're not in a healthy state of mind? The attitude I was referring to was you calling people "stupid" for disagreeing. You're perfectly entitled to your opinion, but I don't think that's called for
I am so proud of these mommies!
mommy burnout is a real thing and isnt talked about enough.
I'm struggling with this right now.
You wrote this about 6 months ago. I really pray you’re doing a lot better since you’ve written this. I really hope that you know that alcoholism is a DISEASE, it’s a sickness often rooted in pain, trauma, and anxiety/stress. Please know that you’re not a bad mom or a bad person because you fell victim to a disease, and that you can get sober. Sobriety is beautiful, and you are worthy of a life that is fueled with peace and a great well-being. You’re worthy of a life that isn’t rooted in shame or guilt. You can get sober and overcome this. I’m sending a lot of love, peace, and healing your way! 💕
I am too any help would be appreciated. I hope all is well with you!
I'm suffering with this now 😞
It can be any coping behavior… I feel for these moms and can relate… I don’t drink alcohol but I abuse sugar and started hoarding… first step is awareness then seeking professional help and support. Becoming a mom has been a roller coaster, a blessing and a burden at times… motherhood is romanticized and not many moms can speak the raw truth!
I like your description it’s right on point
This!!!
I haVE LOST EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF DRINKING, ME MY FAMILY MY HUSBAND AND MY HOME. I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR 9MONTHS AND PRAYING FOR FORGIVENESS FOR MY FAMILY. I BELIEVE THIS MORE OF PROBLEM THEN SOCIETY KNOWS.IT IS A DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS.
One day at a time Jackie, one day at a time..Congrats on 9 months!
Congrats! Jackie Mueller, that’s awesome. I was the same cycle as these woman 5-6 years ago. I’ve been sober 3.5 years.
You know what?! You got this. Look at your achievements and not at your times of distress. Move forward and know people are with you as you conquer alcoholism. Proud of you.
Jackie just found this video, I hope you are doing well !!!! Please go easy on yourself !!!! been there with the dirty little secret !!!
You got this Jackie. I pray your family heals ad forgives you
Being a mom is hard but as any other problems you go through drugs or alcohol will only make it worse i my self have anxiety due to the stress of being the best mom for my kids but thank god I do healthy things to help me with this
I know this is an old post..what types of things did you do other than turning to alcohol? How do you stay focused to do the healthy things? For me.
That’s great
I cannot say this often enough- for most people alcohol is a DEPRESSANT.
No person can do it all. Face up to that reality... make the appropriate adjustments (your kids need you at home)... and live a more full-filling life. The truth is the truth.
There are no perfect parents sometimes we just have to learn to not do somethings sometimes
I can relate the same reasons as i dont blame or judge anyone who decides not to have kids its a big responsibility the crying for no reason the husband that refuses to help in anyway. The days are all the same over and over again we dont get paid or appreciated in any way its exhausting. This year im starting to learn to be more selfish
I needed to hear every word of this 🥰
Same!
The stigma is real. If the show was burnt-out dads, the public's reaction would be to commend them for their strength to stop drinking and see the big picture. You do a show on burnt-out moms, and you get critics every time. Great job ladies for seeing it for what it is and choosing the healthy way.
The American culture is why women are stressed. I have a toddler and haven’t turned to drinking. However I was never a drinker and can see how easy it must be to try distressing using alcohol. These women aren’t the problem mothers need maturity leave until they can healthy return to work .
Or better yet, make sure they actually want /can take care of children.
@Brown Moscato I don't know why she had 4 kids. I mean wasn't she having issues after the first two? or three? But you have to wonder if these women would have had issues with alcohol even if they didn't have kids. Lots of single people have drinking issues.
Or you could take responsibility for your choices. It's not like you are being forced into having kids.
Did you guys read the comment whereas she said she doesn’t drink but binges sugar and hoards. It’s not always alcohol or apparent
When you can think logically you say to yourself ‘alcohol would just get in the way of all of the problems I’m still going to have whether I drink it or not’ instead of saying ‘I’m so overwhelmed and have so much to do let’s make it take longer and affect my ability to think clearly by consuming 2 bottles of wine’
So sad I have a drink after work sometimes and I already see that as a pattern I don’t want to continue. It’ll turn to two after work then 3.... then BAM your sucked in. My family is full of alcoholics and I never drink with them so that I’m not part of the problem. I hate what it does to the brain...
You're right. It just leads to additional problems in the end. Maybe it is an effective numbing bandaid for a time, but eventually the price for that is too high. You end up living a life where you are not your best person.
I actually watched your 9 year sobriety video before this one. Watching this I realized we were the same age when we went on the wagon, 25. I'm 68 now, still sober, and expect to be so for the rest of my life.
OK, this was supposed to be a comment on Liz Kidder's video. RUclips switched videos on me before I could comment.
Congratulations on your sobriety. Can’t wait to get there and pray to make it to your age.
I lost everything due to my drinking...almost 8 years sober now
Thank you for this wonderful show
But I can honestly say I am an alcoholic working a program without feeling guilty or feeling shameful❤️🙏👍
Omg I can relate to this a few years ago. I’ve been sober and recovering from binge drinking morning until night 3 years straight. My husband and I almost got divorced it almost ruined my life. I’m so proud of all of you working on getting sober. Stay strong
I deal with mommy burnout by being hooked with caffeine, but I get point no matter how much I have it stops helping
Hey, I just wanted to ask… how are you doing? I found caffeine stopped helping. Discovered I had adhd.
And I found myself having lots more alcohol than I had intended.
The Mom who cried touched my heart. Megan has good talks on her shows.
All these girls want to be the perfect mom but a lot of them have self esteem issues which never get addressed. They think having kids and a family will solve all that and it doesn’t.Alcohol or shopping therapy can easily slip in to make them feel better. Then it gets out of control and turns to alcoholism or hoarding or both
Maybe is the Marxist in me, but think that a lot of these issues are structural like the fact that women and men don't have paid leave or paid vacation time by law, or access to quality nurseries without paying around 15K per year and you can't even deduct it from taxes. They mentioned that they were exhausted and working at the same time. I think we could make these situations more manageable at the community level and the family. Maybe if they had access to support to therapy and other mental health services they could cope better. I even think medical marijuana would have had a better effect than resorting to alcohol.
I'm thinking the same thing. Why do most, pretty much all, major developed countries have some form of support system for moms, parents in general, and we don't. I'm specifically addressing all those "family values" hypocrites who go on that they're so "pro-family" and yet support a congress and a president who is anything but.
It's the "free" market economy.
It would be fantastic for workplaces to have free daycare for their employees. It would most likely take away from workers salaries but it would ease a lot of the burden on families who pay $$$ for daycare
@@Etatdesiege1979❤️
I needed to watch this video
LOL saw the shortened title on the side and it seemed to read: 'Mommy Burnout': Mom opens up Ab(ortions)..." LMAO!
They probably wish they'd gotten abortions tbh
Uhhhh.... i was allowed to be home alone at 10/11 .... not sure what the issue is with that....
It's illegal in some states. CPS can get involved.
I thought the same thing...my daughter is 11 and is home every night for 4 hours...
She had been sober for 5 years at the time this was filmed, so I’m assuming she means her now 10 year-old recalls the time when she was left alone at age 5 or younger.
I didn’t drink but I ate excessive sugary foods
Il
That’s what I’m going through. As I’m speaking I’m craving for a drive to Starbucks. 7 yrs stay at home
Leave the wine for date nights.
"I'm not an alcoholic and I don't like labels but I categorize myself as a gray area drinker..." same thing. Still giving it name.... aka a label.
BLACK LABEL IS GOOD!
Right. She just wanted to be on TV.
Where are the men in this equation like we don't count
the comedian it’s about mothers... wtf
Men are ditching the bottle faster than ever. For you see, feminism did not free women from the chains they thought they had, it freed men from the chains they had no idea they had. The 21st century is the second Age of enlightenment, the age of mgtow.
Arch Stanton I’m sorry you got dumped
Buying the mums a bottle because they think its attractive at first. Until they realise the negative affect bloating, puffing, sicking, incontinence, insomnia, crinckling, wrinkling and arguing.
The problem is that being a mom, wife, and running a house is a full-time job, and then we add a career, and it's just too much. Husbands need to help more, and we need to let them. We need to go back to putting families first and putting careers on hold, when possible, to raise our kids.
Fully agree....but i tried that and one income ensured we had food on the table, clothes on our back and a few treats now n again.....but after a while of being just a housewife i slowly sank into depression. I never minded the constant cooking, cleaning & teaching...but then i thought, is this all my life will be??....i knew that if i could have even 1 holiday a year with my kids and not have to penny pinch all the time I'd be a happier person. For that reason ive decided to start my own business so i can make a little cash to do these extras....unfortunately, with all the stress of it im finding myself drinking more....but then as a housewife i was doing anyway......life is just sooo complex.
I’ve put the things I want in my career to the side for the past 6 years-the children are older now and I’m glad to finally have a job that makes me very happy. I wanted to do this for years but chose jobs without travel to be there for them. And I burned out and came home irritated all the time toward the end. Now I have a job that causes me to travel, but when I’m home I work from home, and I’m more calm, patient, and present for my children and husband. I say whatever helps you to be that type of mother-that is what you should do, whether it’s staying at home or not.
Thank God I never got hooked on alcohol. Never liked the taste or the way it made me feel, even a small amount. Can't quite understand how people can get hooked on it.
Neither did I. I don’t get it. But it still happened to me. No one is immune
Ugggh...well, yeah, when you're a mother you obviously can't run your life the same as before. You have different priorities. The younger they are, the more you have or should stay at home with them and your career WILL take the far back seat especially if you're raising them by yourself. That's just the way it is. No amount of wine is going to change that. 🍷🍷🍷🏺🏺 It's a huge sacrifice you're making, but the reward is worth it, mostly for your kids.
I guess everyone handles sacrifices a little differently
You too you are bb my gh BB the b
Don’t underestimate the social aspect. Hear me out. Even if it’s not in person. A handful of friends on WhatsApp mention they have “the odd glass” especially at date night. You like the way makes you feel at first. Or rather, you like how people respond to you. Or… you like what it makes you NOT FEEL. You don’t get addicted to alcohol sometimes. You hate it. Even the taste. But you like the way it makes you behave (at first and of course it’s still bad) and you like how people (especially of it’s a significant other) treats you. “Your more fun!” (Not their fault AT ALL) Someone mentions how laid back you are. “You’re such a good mum. You never shout” etc… there’s so many factors. You know it’s wrong. But usually by that point it’s too late.
Very good
Encouraging thank u
Maybe this isn't the point but...I feel like it's ok for a 10 year old to be at home alone if you're at the neighbours. We often have backyard fires with our neighbours (we share a fence so right next door) and last time, our 5 year old said she was cold and so she went home to watch cartoons while we stayed a bit longer.
But then again, my 5 y/o was totally cool with it whereas it sounds like this 10 year old was not pleased
I think you also have to know your child are they responsible enough to be left alone at home
10 yeah maybe....but 5...hell no!
As a mom of 1, I can totally relate to the other mom of 1 in this video. She said everything I’m thinking. 🤧🔥😳😢 I need my wine.
Not sure why people would decide to have so many children in such short succession. Why put yourself in that position? Not fair to yourself, your husband or them. And you wonder why you're stressed???
I can feel megyn kelly relating to them without saying it. It felt like a trigger almost I bet. Not to say she’s an alcoholic but she must feel it
It happened to me when my kids were 3,2,and a newborn. But I turned into food. ☹️ now I am 335lbs 😞
Suyapa Opina try exploring a whole foods plant based diet. There’s a really good documentary called what the health on Netflix. A lot of the doctors on the film also make youtube videos-recipes, lectures, Q&.A etc. Going plant based helped my health so much with weight loss and stomach pains. I hope that it may help ease the suffering you are going through. You should commend yourself first for stopping drinking. That is something not everyone can do and you are very powerful and strong for doing that.
That's the ages of my kids right now. Soo hard!!!
Stay strong girl! Don't let anything control you and don't let the guilt of where you are keep you in that spot ❤
OM
There is hope and help it’s never to late Suyapa
Now everyone in the comment section are therapists and psychologists😃
The first problem why do you have too many kids?
.. we were designed to...? Burn out is less of an issue once kiddos are passed age 6. No biggie.
@@paigetvlz You were designed to THINK since you have the capacity. Human persons don't need to breed on autopilot and TOO MANY do. I came from a large family, saw two sisters become single mom morons and knew at THIRTEEN that I did not want children. My husband and I both came from large families and he didn't want them, either. Problem solved.
I am so sorry mom burn out is real
Motherhood is exhausting (mentally and physically). I think if it’s not Haram, I’d be a drunk mom now 😮
Women are falling for the drunk mommy memes like men fall for beer commercials.
Next on NBC .... Kathy Lee and Hoda explore the next prime grounds for growing Chardonnay on the Dark Side of The Moon
Raising kids IS a full time job. I’m starting to dislike the term “mommy burnout” as if the problem is the children. They didn’t ask to be here. I think the “burnout “ is when you’re trying to do it all at the same time. There is a time and season for all things.
Something about megyn kelly is so disingenuous
N Crsio She seems very genuine to me.
What about Daddy Burnout?
Ethan Fleming All these alleged women on this show are Dudes in Drag...so biologically they were talking about DADDY burnout...wake up man they have been deceiving us.
Ethan Fleming You are right! Child rearing is difficult. Alcoholism is serious.
Can you describe what does that look like?
Men make up excuses for doing well in everything so why not now!? LMAO! Daddy burnout is a Viagra problem! BAHAHAHA!
"What about the MENZZZZZ" erm men statistically do way less housework and childcare than women even when both are working full time
Stay home with you kids. You can't do it all.
Some of us don't have that option for different reasons. Responses like this don't help the under lying issue that our Mothers are facing.
That's even more stressful, most women work to get away from their kids
Stay-at-home moms suffer from alcoholism as well. Many women escalate their drinking after they leave a fulfilling career to be home full time with the kids.
A lot of women are the breadwinners nowadays! I'm the one who has the health benefits, my husband's job doesn't offer them. He's looking for a new career but a lot of pressure falls on women nowadays.
Wine=fancy drunk.
If u feel stressed from mommy meltdown, how bout NOT having children!!! Also, a good dad will help out more around the house, so “mommy can have her alone time”. Booze doesn’t have to be involved unless it’s socially or with dinner. Once it’s a crutch, you’re in big trouble. Glad these women are doing well and bein there for themselves and their children.
It's not that black white. Always easy to put judgement from the outside. Every mom is dealing with situations different. Is this good no but instead of judgement mom needs support and help. So they can grow and find healing.
Janine Groot Koerkamp Akabusi that’s very true. We don’t know what’s really goin on in her head.
Says the single, unmarried, childless man 😂
Was coming here to ask if you’re a mom with kids. 🙄
Real problem here is not being a mother, it’s the addiction blood in them. I m not joking. Even if those ones were not mothers, they would turn to alcohol for other life issues.
Great point
Lol they are both Virgo’s I bet!!!
Omggggggg
Should have eaten chocolate. Nothing hits the spot like chocolate. You cannot get drunk on chocolate.
Well liquor filled candies can pack quite the punch!
What about men. Im a single dad and im burning out but ofc no information on this for men i guess i just man up
Because the majority on rasing the children worldwide are mothers
This is such weak sauce. Nothing wrong with having a drink.
A lot of women (unsure about black women)like wine rather than other types of alcohol.
Zechariah Cameron that’s just what they say to sound classier
Here’s a thought for these women: stop having so many kids!!!
You don’t have any children at all. Just having one child is extremely exhausting
@@mrsyoung8503 And l for one am EXTREMELY grateful l don't have any. I had to get a hysterectomy at 18, l was offered therapy becuse obviously l would be able to have kids l told the doctor ABSOLUTELY didn't need it. Was grateful not to have the dreaded monthly cycle.
Salty
Estrogen overload...wow, you don't see the husbands doing this...
19Jetta Ya, they’re snorting cocaine instead.
Nah, you just don't see people talk about it.
This is cringe. Stay at home moms pretending their workless life is so hard that it pushes them to drink.
*Reality* is; these women had such easy lives drinking during the day wasn't an issue, and like a lot of things they became addicted.
I'm not a mother but I stayed at home briefly while looking for a new job and it's very depressing. Everyone Male or female needs meaningful work and raising children is very hard and a very thankless job.
From a medical perspective, burn out derives from overstimulation, usually audible. Typically you’ll see this with parents of multiples under age 5. It’s a neurological trigger of fight and flight stuck at constant. Though the ‘burn out’ from singleton and over age 6 parents, don’t make sense to me, to which I think it could be influenced by society’s Selfishness Culture
Mommy burnout? Sitting home eating bon bons all day getting fat is hard work?
Get real! Being a good mom is alot of work!
Be a full time mom /wife everything t and tell me how you feel! We don’t sit around all day . Mothers juggle a lot!
Mommy burnout? Get over it! Compared to many mothers of the past, moms nowadays have it easy.
Having 3 boys under age 4, and stay at home.. it is VERY possible for burn out. From a more medical perspective, audible overstimulants actually trigger neurological issues. In addition to repetitive needs. In honesty though I feel burn out is much more prominent for parents with multiple children under age 5. However parents with older or singleton kiddos may be ‘burnout’ influenced from society’s Selfishness Culture.
Errr cocktail hour in the 1950's, 60's and 70's! I'll bet those Mothers were gagging for a G&T at 5 O'Clock after being with the kids all day! I would put money on it that a high percentage of those Mothers were not working full time. The alcohol industry saw an opening for marketing in the 90's towards women, it has a lot to answer for.
The spelling of that name dysturbes me
Let's see. Mommy was probably an alcoholic BEFORE she had FOUR kids in quick succession. The depression most likely kicked in after child number one, but she and hubby kept breeding and ignoring her obvious misery.