My lil man is autistic and still nonverbal at 5 years old, but he loves harder than anyone I’ve ever seen besides with a small amount of bias, myself with my bpd level of love when I love someone. He does it so unbiasedly tho, and unconditionally, and it both scares me for his future little heart being broken, and for him giving this level of his love to the wrong people. I’m so blessed my first born has been autistic and I’m sure so many people are that and thing how could you say something like that, but he’s shaped the way my world looks in the best ways, I’ve learned more from him that he will ever learn from me. 💕
It’s so funny here too, because I’ve never been diagnosed, because I’ve not pursued it, honestly being too busy focusing on my sons and my oldest sons autism diagnosis, but I realized in the beginning that most of the things they were saying are my somes autistic traits are just things I got my ass whooped for when I was a child. Learning more about masking and autism in general, and even co-occurring diagnoses between Borderline and Autism, I definitely have to acknowledge I must have some amount of autism in me and also my husband as well with all the red flag symptoms and “quirks” we all clearly have. This robably also explains why my son has it a bit more severely, and I wouldn’t change him for anything, but I do wish he had been able to live a more normal and healthy life than we ever got to with ours. I will always love our family, but damn son, we have some struggles to get through, and a world view that has flipped on its head entirely!
Autism and BPD have a lot of overlapping traits and can often be misdiagnosed with one another. So I know you said you related to some of the things they were saying, it could just be because of the overlap between the two things.
Oh, welp I just read this, I didn’t see it before I posted my comment just a few minutes ago. My bad girl, but yes, yes they do!!! The comment I made individually maybe just gives more context to my personal journey learning that they overlap so much and are often co-occurring/overlapping illnesses.
my personal (autistic) experience has been that i am more likely to perceive a level of interest that doesn't exist so if i try to hold someone's hand or go in for a hug i'm more likely to get a surprised/offended/dramatic "wtf?!?! what is wrong with you? i can't believe you thought that would be okay" kind of response than a gentle, understanding "oh no thank you you correctly interpreted that i'm interested in you i'm just not into hand-holding or i'm not ready for hand-holding yet but maybe in the future". the inverse is also true, where i'll miss a ton of mutually-desired opportunities because i'm not recognizing interest that DOES exist. asking helps mitigate both of these things. also, we tend to have especially strong reactions to different kinds of physical stimuli - if someone touches me in a way that i find especially unpleasant AND i wasn't expecting it? instant meltdown. day ruined. asking for consent give me an opportunity to decline, which is great in and of itself, but it can also give me an opportunity to mentally prepare (because sometimes we want to do things that are difficult or unpleasant) or to propose an alternative that might be more agreeable. and because empathy, i assume other people do or might also appreciate being asked first for similar reasons. just my guess about what might contribute to the existence of a hypothetical correlation between austim and consent
It’s so hard when you have the experiences like the first part you described to not have even more times where you don’t want to incorrectly interpret the vibe of another person and have to feel the way it feels to be rejected by them because of an internal but very genuinely honest mistake on your part. The way others and the world reacts to me has such a gigantic effect on the way I in turn interact with other people and the world around me. I guess that’s true for most, but I feel I’ve noticed it being significantly more true and a deeper set proclivity in the interactions autistic people respond to any and everything, my 5 y/o nonverbal son even. Words mean nothing, because we feel the vibe of the room so to speak and what is going on in the environment around us and react to that emotionally somehow, even if it is with what people see as the extreme lack of emotional response, it’s all valid and the same with or without speech I’ve learned. Humans are still human without the ability to communicate verbally, we communicate in too many ways for the lack of one to have such a devastating impact on us, but in the world we live in nowadays, the problem is that people don’t want to take the time to hear other people when they can’t articulate themselves quickly and perfectly.
Just started watching, looking forward to the whole thing! Just wanted to note that I totally agree with you on not all ace folks being that way cuz of trauma. I happen to have SA trauma, but I never had interest in sex before then. I was 18, and just genuinely never could see the appeal. The perpetrator actually felt like it was a challenge to overcome, to persuade me through SA to finally like sex. Backfired spectacularly, cuz he’s a horrific dumbass. But when people meet me now, and if they hear about what happened to me (or know the guy who did it), they assume that’s why I’m ace. Truth is, I woulda been happily ace this whole time, with or without the trauma - tho I would greatly prefer without 😬
I love these people! This vid was so good. Tommorow we find out if my son is on the spectrum. It wont change how much i love him. But it will help me, help him in his education and challenges he will face.
in terms of humans being easy to love, I don't think it's unreasonable to say we are all hard to love, to some extent. realistically people have more "baggage" than others, people have issues, people might be broken in a way..easy to emotionally love, yes, but easy to actively love someone? that shit can be hard in a consistent stable thing like a relationship. yes we are all worthy and all need love, but we are also super fucking annoying or stressful sometimes 😅 we bring our issues, insecurities, trauma with us.
when me and my bf started out, he was still experimenting weather he liked sex or not while i on the other hand was hyper sexual. over time he learnt he is on the ace spectrum, only ever doing it because i wanted to. so one of us had to be the one to make some sort of sacrifice for the others fulfillment. somehow i developed sexual dysfunction so how he doesnt have to compromise, we haven't had sex in over 3 years. im ok with that now but i wonder how it will go if i get my sex drive back.
I had this issue but unfortunately it didn’t work out. I’m a sexual person and my partner very much wasn’t and we didn’t have sex for a year and I got freaked out about the idea of never having sex again because they wanted to be monogamous so we broke up.
I developed a similar dysfunction during my last relationship, she had a lot of sexual trauma so I had to change the way I did things a lot. I've been slowly returning to normal now that the relationship is over but not all the way still even after 4 months
My lil man is autistic and still nonverbal at 5 years old, but he loves harder than anyone I’ve ever seen besides with a small amount of bias, myself with my bpd level of love when I love someone. He does it so unbiasedly tho, and unconditionally, and it both scares me for his future little heart being broken, and for him giving this level of his love to the wrong people. I’m so blessed my first born has been autistic and I’m sure so many people are that and thing how could you say something like that, but he’s shaped the way my world looks in the best ways, I’ve learned more from him that he will ever learn from me. 💕
It’s so funny here too, because I’ve never been diagnosed, because I’ve not pursued it, honestly being too busy focusing on my sons and my oldest sons autism diagnosis, but I realized in the beginning that most of the things they were saying are my somes autistic traits are just things I got my ass whooped for when I was a child. Learning more about masking and autism in general, and even co-occurring diagnoses between Borderline and Autism, I definitely have to acknowledge I must have some amount of autism in me and also my husband as well with all the red flag symptoms and “quirks” we all clearly have. This robably also explains why my son has it a bit more severely, and I wouldn’t change him for anything, but I do wish he had been able to live a more normal and healthy life than we ever got to with ours. I will always love our family, but damn son, we have some struggles to get through, and a world view that has flipped on its head entirely!
Autism and BPD have a lot of overlapping traits and can often be misdiagnosed with one another. So I know you said you related to some of the things they were saying, it could just be because of the overlap between the two things.
Oh, welp I just read this, I didn’t see it before I posted my comment just a few minutes ago. My bad girl, but yes, yes they do!!! The comment I made individually maybe just gives more context to my personal journey learning that they overlap so much and are often
co-occurring/overlapping illnesses.
They have many overlapping traits, but also are often both diagnosed in people at the same time.
There is also the possiblity of having both!!!
my personal (autistic) experience has been that i am more likely to perceive a level of interest that doesn't exist so if i try to hold someone's hand or go in for a hug i'm more likely to get a surprised/offended/dramatic "wtf?!?! what is wrong with you? i can't believe you thought that would be okay" kind of response than a gentle, understanding "oh no thank you you correctly interpreted that i'm interested in you i'm just not into hand-holding or i'm not ready for hand-holding yet but maybe in the future". the inverse is also true, where i'll miss a ton of mutually-desired opportunities because i'm not recognizing interest that DOES exist. asking helps mitigate both of these things.
also, we tend to have especially strong reactions to different kinds of physical stimuli - if someone touches me in a way that i find especially unpleasant AND i wasn't expecting it? instant meltdown. day ruined. asking for consent give me an opportunity to decline, which is great in and of itself, but it can also give me an opportunity to mentally prepare (because sometimes we want to do things that are difficult or unpleasant) or to propose an alternative that might be more agreeable. and because empathy, i assume other people do or might also appreciate being asked first for similar reasons.
just my guess about what might contribute to the existence of a hypothetical correlation between austim and consent
It’s so hard when you have the experiences like the first part you described to not have even more times where you don’t want to incorrectly interpret the vibe of another person and have to feel the way it feels to be rejected by them because of an internal but very genuinely honest mistake on your part. The way others and the world reacts to me has such a gigantic effect on the way I in turn interact with other people and the world around me. I guess that’s true for most, but I feel I’ve noticed it being significantly more true and a deeper set proclivity in the interactions autistic people respond to any and everything, my 5 y/o nonverbal son even. Words mean nothing, because we feel the vibe of the room so to speak and what is going on in the environment around us and react to that emotionally somehow, even if it is with what people see as the extreme lack of emotional response, it’s all valid and the same with or without speech I’ve learned. Humans are still human without the ability to communicate verbally, we communicate in too many ways for the lack of one to have such a devastating impact on us, but in the world we live in nowadays, the problem is that people don’t want to take the time to hear other people when they can’t articulate themselves quickly and perfectly.
Just started watching, looking forward to the whole thing! Just wanted to note that I totally agree with you on not all ace folks being that way cuz of trauma. I happen to have SA trauma, but I never had interest in sex before then. I was 18, and just genuinely never could see the appeal. The perpetrator actually felt like it was a challenge to overcome, to persuade me through SA to finally like sex. Backfired spectacularly, cuz he’s a horrific dumbass. But when people meet me now, and if they hear about what happened to me (or know the guy who did it), they assume that’s why I’m ace. Truth is, I woulda been happily ace this whole time, with or without the trauma - tho I would greatly prefer without 😬
The East Asian meme of East Asian parent's love language is cutting fruit for their kids, 💀
I love these people! This vid was so good. Tommorow we find out if my son is on the spectrum. It wont change how much i love him. But it will help me, help him in his education and challenges he will face.
No hot Cheetos is crzzyy
So smart I heard u talk ab the cancer dye in another video but I’m still so
Shook my reality has always revolved around Cheetos.
Dating a French guy and he was telling me ab how bad Americans and Brazilians eat mind u I’m prediabetic so he’s not wrong 😂
this was probably the only jubilee video I've seen that made me smile the whole time
Amazing video
Lol When Gerard Way said "If we can't find where we belong, we'll just have to make it on our own", I felt that shi*. 😅
Chai and Rae are so cute oh my GOD!! 😭
For me, those people are normal, and Normal people are just extroverted wholesale persons
in terms of humans being easy to love, I don't think it's unreasonable to say we are all hard to love, to some extent. realistically people have more "baggage" than others, people have issues, people might be broken in a way..easy to emotionally love, yes, but easy to actively love someone? that shit can be hard in a consistent stable thing like a relationship. yes we are all worthy and all need love, but we are also super fucking annoying or stressful sometimes 😅 we bring our issues, insecurities, trauma with us.
okay, someone just clarified the difference between easy to love and easy to be with in the video lol
when me and my bf started out, he was still experimenting weather he liked sex or not while i on the other hand was hyper sexual. over time he learnt he is on the ace spectrum, only ever doing it because i wanted to. so one of us had to be the one to make some sort of sacrifice for the others fulfillment. somehow i developed sexual dysfunction so how he doesnt have to compromise, we haven't had sex in over 3 years. im ok with that now but i wonder how it will go if i get my sex drive back.
I had this issue but unfortunately it didn’t work out. I’m a sexual person and my partner very much wasn’t and we didn’t have sex for a year and I got freaked out about the idea of never having sex again because they wanted to be monogamous so we broke up.
I developed a similar dysfunction during my last relationship, she had a lot of sexual trauma so I had to change the way I did things a lot. I've been slowly returning to normal now that the relationship is over but not all the way still even after 4 months
I think being s3xual compatible is underrated. I know I could never have a satisfying relationship with someone who is ace.
Defend Max