so, this is life
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- Hello friends,
Oh man - what a life update to share. The past couple of weeks have been emotionally rough for me, and on top of that, I’ve encountered so much change in the past six months. One thing that has really helped me during this time is journaling. So in this video, I voiced over some of my raw journal entries. I’m not the best writer, but I hope that letting these emotions and words out into the universe will help me heal. If you’ve read this far, here’s a reminder to give your loved ones a call ♥
xx,
Julia
p.s. go support my sister alice's channel! @WondereLand_Official she also streams on twitch / wondereland
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instagram: @julia.fei
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• // Living in China
[about me]
Hi everyone my name is Julia ~ I'm a 20-something-year-old data scientist navigating through life in NYC. You can find vlogs, fashion & beauty content, productivity videos, and more on my channel. Thanks for stopping by & I hope you enjoy :)
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email: laujuliafei@gmail.com
for anyone finding themselves missing a loved one, my mom once told me that whenever you feel or think to yourself "dang, i really miss them." that feeling is them missing you too.
I didn't cry watching the video, but I did after reading this reply
Thanks Julia. For the first three minutes of the video I almost cried at work so I had to pause this video to take a breather. This year my grandmother passed away and it was a surprise to all my family members. We all thought that it was going to be a short visit at the hospital and she stayed longer than usual. This is my first close relative death experience so I wasn’t expecting this to happen in my 20s. My other friend had received news that his grandfather passed away a couple of months later. I hadn’t expect that death would be experienced so soon in our 20s but it’s just another reminder to cherish your loved ones around you before it’s too late.
This. Are you in your mid 20s? I feel like we just started with life and then experience death of loved ones already
Aw, mental hugs sent your way. I hope the memories and love you have shared with your grandma, give your heart some comfort during the moments when you miss her.
I’m attracted to white males not grandmothers that’s nasty
I wish I can leave a voice note for this comment for some reason but I’ll settle for the next best 😅
This is beautiful, Julia. You showed through this vlog that grief happens alongside daily living; it’s not just sobbing and days you can’t get out of bed. It’s that, AND eating good food. Being with family. Laughter. Joy.
Take care of yourself, Julia. Big hugs! 💓
Thank you for sharing Julia. I rarely comment but I could relate to your video so much. My mum is from Canton too and she passed last year. She was only 59. I had just come back from holiday and I knew the news she had for me would change my life forever. Pancreatic cancer - she went from fit and healthy to gone within 3 months. We rushed back to Canton so she could say goodbye to her friends and family. As soon as we came back home to Australia she was hospitalised and never came home. It all happened so quickly. I lost the closest person of my life. Watching your video I have such fond memories of Canton and feel more connected and proud of my family's heritage than ever, even though I was born in and grew up in a Western country. I am in my late 20s and it's easy to lose sight of what's most important in the hustle and bustle of life. I am lucky to have had such an amazing mum and in spite of everything we have to perceive and make the most of life
I’m sorry for your loss, that’s so young ❤
I’m sorry for your loss
I can really relate to you :'( my grandpa passed away last year in guangzhou when I was stuck in the US. I just remember the last thing he said to me was to study hard 🤧🤧and every time I cook cauliflower I just recall those days when my grandpa used to cook cauliflower for me every week just because I once said to him I really loved the cauliflower he cooked for me 🥲🥲 the way grandparents express how they care about their grandchildren is just this simple
the journal entries were so poignant and beautiful julia! I'm glad your grandparents are now reunited
julia, i’ve been subbed for a short time but i’m sorry for your loss. really happy to hear that you’re spending time with family and happy to hear you speak canto fluently as a fellow canto american speaker!! sending love to you and your family during this time ❤
God the beginning made me cry. Beautifully sad, but awakening
So sorry for your loss. This is the best video I’ve ever watched on RUclips. Thank you so much for sharing. You are a very talented writer. ❤
hi julia. this video is so beautifully and authentically shot and written.. your voice and words help us connect with the emotions you are going thru in this extremely difficult moment in your family, and my heart goes to all of you. i love your reference to the bitter melon in the end, which makes me think of eason chan's cantonese song "foo gwa" and how we learn to appreciate these bitter moments of pain as a part of life only as we grow up. sending lot of love
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a relative recently and it was really unexpected. It fundamentally triggered me to rethink about life and work. I am older and work in tech as well. Our industry is tough and it feels like the last 20 years just went by in a blink for me. That Chinese medicine doctor/master's question about whether you work late - well that struck me, too...:) I admire your determination in finding a perfect job with balancing your side hustle, and wish you the best in your search!
i discovered you when you first started your break in china and came back today after hearing you ended the job series - congrats! love your videos, they are so well shot and well written
also you so real for showing the swim cap footage mad respectt
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤ this video was so beautiful and your thoughts really stuck with me. Grief is such a strange thing. There’s no timeline for it to end and it can sneak up on you when you least expect it. Take all the time you need and lots of good energy your way
Julia, you have such a beautiful way with words, and putting so much feeling and emotion into a coherent thought that I have felt but could never explain myself. Grief is so universal, yet so unique to each person. Thank you for sharing your experiences in this life, even the painful ones. Sending positive vibes to you and your family. It was nice to see them all in this vlog. Alice is so funny, and your dad is too sweet! He needs that sponsorship 😂
seriously why am I crying right now 😭
I even do not have the courage to play this video, it must be very tough period…hope you will start new journey soon, all the good luck to you ❤
This was so beautiful and made me cry! I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m glad your grandparents are reunited ❤
I just responded on your latest video but again I want to say I am so sorry about your grandmother. I am glad you were able to spend time with your family through all of this. Despite the sad affair, it was great to see you all laughing and commiserating. Whenever I've lost relatives in my life, I've found that laughing and sharing moments that someone has shared with the deceased help to get you through those dark moments. I've personally found that it makes my bond stronger with those that I am experiencing those moments with. Thanks for sharing your entry about grief. I like your dad's comments about the restaurant. That place was nice and I love the tableware. Those small teacups were so cute. I also shocked about the size difference in how US vs Asia sizing. That's mind-blowing. Thanks for taking your viewers along on this trip.
I had the same experience as you for my grandad in March. Being so far travelling half the world to say my last goodbye telling my family to wait for me to say goodbye and feeling so much pain all the way the closer to get to be home. I’m sorry for your loss. ❤ being there was the greatest feeling afterwards I’m so grateful that I moved water and earth (I lost my passport and had to ask for an emergency one on the same day luckily my ambassy abroad did one for me)
Condolences to you and your family. It was really touching, almost shed a tear in the beginning. Made me think of the times I spent with my grandma too, even though she has already passed away for over 16 years. Best of luck on your job search and future endeavours.
this video means so much to me. the beginning of this video has me in tears, I love my grandparents so much
I’m so sorry for your loss. I came to the US 10 years ago and I haven’t had a chance to visit my home country since. My grandmother passed away during my final exam week in my last semester, it was one of my regrettable moments that I didn’t make it home to see her. Three months later, my grandfather suddenly passed away. I didn’t make it to his funeral either. Grief is something that only time can heal, as least you have beautiful memories with your grandmother. My last hugs from my grandparents was 10 years ago when I said goodbye to them at the airport 😢
What a beautiful tribute. Best wishes on the next chapter- wishing you time to rest and remember.
listening to this also made me think about the recent trip i took back to guangzhou to see my grandma that i hadn't seen in over 6 years. thank you for sharing this and I hope you are taking care of yourself!
I'm glad you're in tune with what really matters 😊
A cuddle here. Bereavement is like a lifelong lesson to learn but luckily we still get ppl around who love us to accompany us through. Julia, thanks.❤
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hopw you can find the strength during your grief. Relationship with grandparents is like a mystery to me. My father's parents had already passed when I was born, and my mother's parents were abroad, so as a child, my family didn't have enough money to travel and see tgem often. So, even when we kept in touch, it wasn't the same. I never got to know them well. I do understand that fear of loss, since my parents are now in that age in which I have to understand that time is not on our side, so I try to embrace those moments with them, to keep them in my memory and heart.
Thank you for sharing your story Julia. Unfortunately for me, my grandparents passed away when I wasn't even 20. Hearing your story has reminded me of them. One thing I've learned through the years is that, like you said, they are never fully gone. As long as you remember them, they will always be here. We carry them with us because we wouldn't be who we are if it wasn't for them. Big hug to everyone who has gone or is going through a loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss Julia. I know it may be hard right now but you will get through this! Love what you have created and emotions you've shared, always know so many people are cheering you on!
julia, i’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. your love for her has been felt so strongly through the screen (and touched our hearts) in many of your videos. sending you lots of love and peace during this time. xoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
I'm going into a really uncertain period in my life and needed to hear this right now. Thank you
Beautifully tributed to your grandmother. The end of the vlog where you and Alice were talking about your experience at the pharmacy make me laugh.. it is a similar culture in Japan where everything feels smaller in size
Alice is such a fun..and your dad too. Btw sorry to hear about your loss.
As someone who has also recently lost two of the beloved grandparents, this was a touching and beautiful love letter to your family.
I'm also at the point where my 4 grandparents passed away. It doesn't get easier thinking the next big loss I'll experience is my own parents. They got me pretty late in life so it's probably going to happen way sooner than I'd like. Nothing to do but to let yourself feel your feelings and surround yourself with good people to get through it.
Somehow things always manage to happen for a reason and to always work out, even if it takes longer than expected on the job front. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m also so glad you had the time and space to go home so much and visit when you and your family need it most. Sending lots of love
So sorry to hear. Probably this will not sound good at this moment. But in the future you would be happy at least to have such amazing memories of them. And far away you will be a grandparent and make those memories for your grandchildren.
This made me cry, so beautifully done. I thoroughly enjoyed the voiceovers
Watching this brings back memories of my beloved grandmother. I won't deny it.. I miss her so much. Julia, your video moved me to tears. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing this. It's a beautiful video!
Omg I’m so sorry to hear, Julia. You’re such a strong, bright soul. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
cloei
I think you are a beautiful writer. Thank you for sharing this intimate family moment. I loved the ending when your sister got sprayed in the face lol. Keep sharing!
I’m sorry Julia. But I also
Love when you are in China and you go places that I have been and see how it’s changed. I do remember the food on circle trays and the chefs are always therein white hats and a white linen cloth over their arm. Thank you for sharing your life. Btw I was 96 lbs when ever I went to China. I too was a much bigger size there 😂😂😂
Thank you for sharing this, Julia. You and this beautiful video are a testimony to your grandmother and the love she showed you. My deepest condolences to you and yours 🕊️
This is such a beautiful video, Julia! My condolences to you and your family at this hard time. Losing a grandparent is one of the hardest things to go through and the grief never truly goes away
Im so sorry for your loss,Julia. I miss my grandparents every day and we still talk about them all the time so they are always present xxx sending love xxx
hi julia. sending u much love from malaysia. i visited guangzhou for the first time in my life on the last week of may. it rained almost every day and the humidity was intense. i also tried charlie's tea and had dim sum. i wish to visit guangzhou again during drier months. early this year, i lost my dad. it was pretty sudden. so the grief still lingers. but life still goes on so let's hang in there, stay strong and work things out at our own pace. ❤
wow... you have great content! new subscriber!
Dear Julia,
it is heartbreaking to be seeing your beloved ones pass away. No words can explain that and I know such events are life-changing, you cannot go back to before the pain. But life goes on and good things (and bad things) will happen, I hope you have the strength and comfort to overcome and enjoy the journey
The doctor is cool. I have the same experience in my country, my doctor, along with traditional medicine, learned for 20 years in China. Actually, before they can diagnose by pulse the learn it about 10 or even more years. Take care of yourself, Julia, the doctor is right. Very often we push ourselve to much. Thank you for sharing beutiful moments with your family❤
I am so sorry for your loss. Out of 4 grandparents, i only met and knew 2 grandparents and my grandmother (mom's side passed a few years ago and I'm only left with 1 grandfather from my mom's side), i never got the chance to meet any of my father's parents and i only know them through pictures. Death really is a thief, and nothing in this world can fill that void.
Sending you so much love ❤️ and comfort from Zambia 🇿🇲 ❤️.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Julia. My grandmother is in a hospital in the Philippines right now and I’m in the U.S. Her condition is not good, and this past week has been challenging. Im thinking of her everyday. I’m also thinking about my trip to go home.
Keeping you and her in my thoughts ❤ stay strong
Thanks Julia for share the particular time in your life with us.
By the way, I feel you are the 100% copy of your father ♥
XO from Brazil
☺
Take care!
I’m sorry for your loss Julia. I lost my grandma last month too. I really missed her. Stay strong!
Thank you Julia for your words. 😭🥺
Sending prayers and lots of love and virtual hugs to you and your family.
Deepest condolences to you and your family, Julia. Meaningful narratives about life. Thank you for sharing.
Your videos are the best Julia❤
you are so eloquent and talented. sending all my love to you and your family.
this was such a beautifully crafted and well-articulated vlog. your thoughts really made me reflect on how i can choose to be more present with my loved ones. thanks for creating this. sending you lots of love and well wishes! ~
This video made me cry immediately, beautifully said, Julia!
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
the glimpses into Asia are pretty cool.
“That’s why you’re no fun.” ♥️
Sending my love and support for you, Julia. Hope everything turns out to be sweeter at last.
This was a beautiful video to watch. Thank you for sharing and my condolences on your loss. My mom passed on May 2nd and I miss her very much.
I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. I lost my last living grandparent-also my grandmother-right around when your Grandfather passed away earlier this year. Your vlogs from that period provided me so much comfort during that time-sometimes just knowing your not alone is so helpful.
I like to think that any time a loved one who has passed on crosses my mind, they are with me in spirit. Hope you and your family are doing okay, and glad we got to see the moments of fun/joy sprinkled throughout your trip, too!
I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤
Julia,
I am so very sorry for your loss. May their memory be an eternal blessing. Beautiful tribute in this vlog to them.
You are so adorable and your life is incredibly beautiful. Always thank u for sharing your story.
julia你好！我刚开始考虑出国留学，今天下午在RUclips搜纽约的消费，就看到了你的视频，一看我就特别喜欢你！所以今天下午都在看你的视频，顺便学英文！你的口语口音非常棒啊！希望我出国后也能快点像你一样哈哈哈！然后就看到了你这条视频！当有中文的航空卡片出现的时候，我很惊讶你真的是中国人，当猎德大桥出现的时候我超级惊讶和开心你居然是广州人！我现在就住在广州，在猎德旁边，所以你视频里在广州的每一个镜头我都去过！哈哈哈！这应该就是为什么我一看到你就这么喜欢你，你应该是我在RUclips关注的第一个人，因为我刚开始认真看RUclips~总之希望你在NY生活顺利~奶奶会一直保佑你噶~~！
by the way广州今天天气也是巨好！
Thank you Julia for this video🫂💌
Sending love and light your way Julia. My deepest condolences... 🤍
Julia remember all the happy times you shared and know that grampa needed her with him. Don’t be sad for someone who lived a beautiful life…you will be together again 😞
My condolences to you and your family❤️
Thank you for sharing this Julia! 🫶
Am so sorry julia, I hope you find comfort.
So sorry for your loss ❤
Thanks for sharing your story.
My deepest condolences to you and your family ❤ hugs
Thoughtful and beautiful tribute ✨
I'm sorry for your loss. TT (BTW 甜薄撑 is my all-time favourite!!!!!)
Beautiful words, thank you for sharing ❤
brought me some good memories with the beloved ones who have been long gone. 节哀，继续加油。
Condolences 💐 to you and your Ohana. Aloha nui 🌺
Sorry for your loss ❤
Sorry for your loss❤
Sending you a virtual hug right now! 🤗🥰🥰🥰
Julia, so sorry for your loss. The first man... ❤️
🥺🥺🥺Very beautiful, thank you for sharing ❤
sending u love always julia
I wish you could stay longer in Guangzhouuuu bcos I love your vlogs from China. Hehe
Lmao
It is nice to see you laughing after that guy basically tried to say your not healthy.Also your words are the start of video I found them moving.
In some cultures rain on day of funeral is seen as a positive sign; a cleansing and renewal
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Hi Julia happy Monday afternoon and happy summer day and this was amazing video I enjoy your channel and you are amazing supporter praying for you julia
三姐妹中，Julia 跟老豆长的最像❤
Sorry for your loss. Be thankful for the time you had and memories with your grandma ❤
Soooooooooo Sweet GrandMá!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They passed through the veil...sooner or later, we will all be reunited on the other side...
don't cry because it's over smile because it happened