Important advice to couples regarding Polygamy | Shaykh Sulaymaan Ar-Ruhayli
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- Follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Soundcloud at:
Cmyt_Bookshop
/ cmyt_bookshop
/ cmyt_booksh. .
/ user-894468639.... .
Tune in for Lessons online at:
mixlr.com/cmyt...
Cricklewood Muslim Youth Trust needs your help to keep running. We have high overheads including rent, rates, utilities & maintenance. Please donate generously to help us cover these costs. Please help the Mosque in the following ways: 1. CMYT PayPal:
paypal.me/CMYT...
2. Natwest Bank Account Name: CMYT Account Number: 32586736 Account Sort Code: 60-06-25
3. Drop cash into money boxes in the Masjid
4. Use our contactless card reader in the bookshop
You can also purchase a variety of products in the masjid shop ranging from Islamic clothing, books, prophetic medicines, dates and more, all proceeds go 100% towards the running of the Masjid and charity works carried out by CMYT.
Jazaakumullahu Khayr
209 Cricklewood Broadway
Cricklewood,
London
NW2 3HS
info@cmyt.co.uk
I am a brother with a wife and this is the most balanced view on this matter and I have also watched the shaykh's previous video on this matter which he alluded to. Here in Nigeria, you will find a brother with a single room and 5kods without the means to take good care of them already pursuing another wife and demanding cooperation from the first wife.
I can relate bro
It's fine not to be able to relate. May be you have not seen any of such. I have.
It's was a typo...
Wanted to write can not can't
Oh! Apologies for my reply. Baarakallaahu feek
Absolutely correct.
Alhumdulillah finally a scholar who spoke so wisely on this regard
There are many scholars that have spoken on the subject with such wisdom already. May Allah bless the Shaykh. P.S I was Somebody first...lol
Those who fear Allah(S.W.T) would either take multiple wives but due to the fear would not oppress then in anyway or refrain from polygamy due to fear of being accountable but unfortunately too many guys who live in a delusional world burden women to accept this or force her to deal with it
Many men oppress their first wife, when she calls him out he thinks the solution is to get another wife. And another one. And another.
He thinks the Government supporting her is the same as him supporting her. Yep, delusion.
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم.
All praises are completely belong to Allah.. may Allah bless and protect a family in KSA I have known and stayed for 4 yrs and Allāh have blessed me to witness the benefits of polygamy thru them. Although each have flaws the 2wives are living under 1 roof and I have seen both cooperation towards good. They sin/wrong each other unintentionally but they rectify when it's possible. Definitely what made them like that is due to Fear of Allāh, Tawhīd and actions upon Knowledge.
May Allah bless and preserve them upon good. Aameen
Allah takes care of everyone at end of day.
Alhamdulillah, intellectual scholars with wise answer to this issue are coming forth. Not some shallow-minded folks who would base judgement on personal sentiments.
Alhamdulillah again. I pray that men would be more logical and base life on realities and not mere fantasies.
SubhanAllah a very wise answer حفظه الله الشيخ
Very wise answer - jazakAllah hu khairan. 🥇🏆🌹
جزاكم الله خيرا 🌹❤💯👌
He was accurate guessing the lady who asked the question is not married.
MashaAllah Tabarakallah.. perspective from this scholar. May Allah swt bless him for sharing his best.. ameen. We are accountable to Allah swt ourselves. Tq on sharing. But it is up to us to weigh circumstances and make decisions. Ultimately Allah swt knows best our exact situation
Could I use your Videos? I would translate the English subtitles into German and then replace the English subtitles with German subtitles. I would upload then these videos on social media. Is this ok?
Yes if you can translate into any other language and benefit other audience then by all means go ahead and may Allah show us the reward
@@CMYTBookshop Amin. JazakAllahu khayr. May Allah make us sincere.
What is your channel in german
@@CMYTBookshop JazakAllah Khair 😊
As'salamu aleikum akhi, could you make a video about tamyee' and mumayiin? I believe them to be the dangerous callers to hell since it's the hardest for the salafi to distinguish from ahlul haqq
Wa alaykumussalaam
Part of the deen so there’s no doubt about that being permissible and something that is very beautiful and necessary for us. So many women have no husband for certain reasons, they’re widows etc! All of them need protection/someone who provides for them etc
Everyone who rejects this verse - be careful - This is like rejecting the entire Qur’ān! Alhamdulillah for the blessing of Islam
I don't get why everyone thinks when a wife doesn't want her husband to remarry that she's automatically rejecting a verse in the Qur'an? There's a difference between rejecting something outright, and just not wanting to live your life that way. Polygamy is simply an option there to practice if needed. If it was fard on every man, then any woman not wanting it would be rejecting, but by default it is not fard. Our beloved prophet (SAW) himself forbade his own son in law from marrying again after Fatima.
@@kubra_sultan That’s exactly that type of feminism & ignorance that brought this Ummah so much down! Nobody says every a man has to marry more than one wife since there are also guidelines in the Qur’ān that need to be followed. And for sure, there are a lot of women who don’t want to have a co-wife since this means sharing worldly matters with another wife like time & live of the husband and property and women tend to be jealous! But if we see the situation of many women in our Ummah, beings widows, not enough proper men there to take care, maybe divorced or whatever and we imagine we would be in that place and needed a Mahram and other women forbade their man to marry another one then maybe we would change our selfish attitude and thinking!
As long as most of people got everything they don’t care about the needs of others. Only when they’re in the same situation they start to understand the misery
@@kubra_sultanExactly. I do not understand people who hold such extreme forceful view regarding polygyny. Just go do it with a woman who wants it and leave sisters who don’t want it alone. But no. Apparently the man who is leaving his wife and children to go fend for themselves isn’t selfish, but the sister is because she wants her husband to herself 😂
I think the issue is a lot of mainstream “Dawah” guys have misinformed the public regarding this subject. Actual scholars hold the same position which is polygyny is permissible, but she’s free to not accept it. But what’s happening is there is a lot of shaming and guilt tripping going on by brothers who think the deen is all about male s*xuality. Not to mention, sisters who bully other sisters into accepting it as well. Widows don’t even make up the majority of the population, nor do the vast majority of them even want polygyny. So it’s obvious this has 100% to do with male s*xuality and very little to do with caring about women. Of course, the conversation will be pushed towards “YOu’rE a FeMiniSt” if you don’t want to do something that isn’t even compulsory in the deen😂😂😂
@@-glitch-8195 I agree 💯 everyone just turns into a bully these days when this topic comes up sadly. It's important to maintain a balanced view.
@@-glitch-8195
Thank you 😊
I'm happily married and never thought about the topic of polygamy. Even though Im married I would still have strong fitnah of women and problems lowering my gaze. At one point I got in connection with a widow and took the decision to marry her. This intention completely disabled my fitnah for other women and I was able to lower my gaze easily. My ibadat and Tawakkul got on another level. I never reached that level of iman before. Long story short: it didn't work out for me at the end, but if done correctly it can be a catalyst for growth and becoming a next level man.
What make it didn't work for you?
@@otayuu7140 sister has fearful avoidant attachment which makes it very hard for her to commit. Also my finances weren't allowing me to be just between the 2 of them.
@@AlpArslanTheSeljuk but when you first decided to marry her, was your finance good at that time?
@@otayuu7140 no. I told her that I intend to marry her but I needed some time etc. to improve my situation. Also she needed time.
@@AlpArslanTheSeljuk so you havent married her?
Please what are the conditions for polygamy according to the Quran. Thanks
Thank you for this upload. Th Prophet, peace be up on him, did,'t marry his wives because of lust, no. He, peace be up on him, married widows and divorcees, most of them where much older than him.
Ukhtī, one can also partake in polygyny if he fears he will fall into Zina and that his wife alone isn't sufficing.
@@u.6546 Im a bit confused as another male Im having trouble understanding can you explain? How wouldn't one wife be sufficient? I just wanna understand not disrespecting
@Hidetaka Miyazaki I get that but its like there is no loyalty or even care as to how the woman feels just seeing other guys doing this as a means of being selfish and then treating the first wife as garbage
@@musawirmehfuz6623 do you even listen to what comes out of your mouth. You just made the best men in this ummah to be selfish and disloyal.
@@naj5334 its not out of desire I say these words but the harsh reality I have seen and heard of selfish husbands who make their wives live miserably instead of honorably and their wives bend backward and do all they can to make him happy and some husbands dont do that in return and 90% of cases I hear of why these guys do that "oh the first is old I married someome younger" Im not against polygamy I think when used correctly its a great benefit to society. Forgive me brother If I said the words the wrong way but I feel not many people are aware of how the peace in a household is disrupted or worse destroyed over such issues
ALLAHUMMA BAARIK ALLAHUMMA BAARIK
ALLAHUMMA BAARIK
Do I lack an aspect of fitrah, since I have no jealousy?
-In a polygynous marriage
maybe you are just more mature and learnt to accept it. Generally younger women tend to be more jealous as we learn from the sunnah
@@tahirballikaya213
I accepted polygamy before I was even Muslim before I was even 18.
SubHaanaAllah 💗 I am the same. I am not a jealous person. never have been. Alhamdulillah 🤲 I'm content that Allah does everything for everyone for the best. And believing that if whatever is yours will reach you even if it between two mountains and whatever isn't yours will be taken away even from between your teeth! Alhamdulillah 🤲
What number wife are you?
I am wife number 1.
Whats the middle path?
The truth is men can love more women at the same time. They may love less one than the other but the love is still there. One maybe has qualities that others don't. The Prophet saws said that Allah did not give to him anyone better than Khadija ra when Aisha ra his other wife asked him. But Our Prophet saws loved both, he had multiple wives.
So the middle path depends on your situation but men have the right to marry up to 4 wives and Muslim women some of them may not know about this ruling but once they do they need to submit to the will of Allah and accept the decree. They can say they will be unhappy if it happens but if the husband decides to do so the first wife or any other (meaning, if he wants a 3rd wife, the 1st and 2nd) have to accept it. Very simple.
Woman has no right to forbid him from doing so whether in contracts and similar. Women who do so don't obey Allah's command... a disaster truly.
Middle way is when looking for a 1st wife to ask her about this issue - there are 3 options: she would not mind beause that jealousy is not in her due to the knowledge of Allah's command and of course the impact of it, those women know that a man can love more women at the same time. The other type is who is jealous but if it happens then they would not object because there is Allah's permission for that. The third type is the one thag would object and for example tell him she will divorce, she will put that condition in marriage contract which is something new due to Muslims looking at kafir's life and finding what Allah has ordered hard to accept. That 3rd type of woman - don't marry her because they do not even submit to Allah but act on their desires. They don't even control themselves like the 2nd type nor are they free from jealousy because Allah has willed so like the 1st. So before you even marry you need to talk about these issue. Also some things also need to be talked about for example does a man have the ability to look after a wife and provide for her, would he allow his wife to work (it is permissible to do so provided she wears hijab and does not mix with men) but there are of course people whose interests are those other than islam so you need to see who the person is. Same goes for example would a woman wear niqab because the husband has the right to tell her to wear it and she must obey him. So if he has those wishes and she does not its best not to marry in the first place. Find someone who suits you. Does a woman do household work or does she need a maid, those general questions and then also do they pray, fast, source of income is it halal. These things need to be talked before.
If you are in a marriage and then you want another wife but your other wife objects to it she can object as much as she want if you want a second wife and can take care of her AND CAN BE JUST TO BOTH so spending one night with this and one night with other or one week with this and one week with other so treating them justly, then you can marry and they have no right to divorce you because of this nor do they have the right to be angry at you reject you and so on.
Prophet's wives cooperated with each other.
There is also a story about bala and malhun hatun, wives of osman i, the founder of ottoman empire. Bala could not stay pregnant so osman decided to marry a second wife. Of course there are some unrealistic things such as bala's father wanting other wife for osman and the one bala does not like her character, and also that bala prepares their ceremony that is just not to be expected but over time, those two become close friends, eat and drink together and work for the benefit of the state. A lot of that jealousy goes away from them. They save each other from enemies help each other, love each other's kids and so on. Bala did not have a kid when malhun got her son and malhun saw bala looking at him so malhun gave that boy to bala to hold him. So in reality, there either should be jealousy that is controlled or there would be no jealousy at all. Me for example i would not feel jealous if the husband fulfills his duties and responsibilities and treats me and other wives equally.
Example of that not being the way it should is hurrem and mahidevran - suleyman totally neglected mahidevran and did not fulfill his rights and responsibilities.
Just read the seerah of prophet Muhammad saws and his wives on this topic and you will find it.
If your wife sometimes even shows a bit of jealousy but does not say things such as you must not marry her and so on then forgive her because she is doing her best to handle it just like Aisha ra threw a plate because of her jealousy and our prophet saws smiled and said to companions to eat and that their mother is jealous (mother - because she is the mother of the believers). So just bear patience with women of the type 2 but those of type 3 dont even come close to them their problem is bigger and it is not obeying Allah's commands.
The man wouldn’t fall into haram just because his wife exercised her Islamic right of not wanting to be in a co wife relationship if he was a faithful Muslim.
The prophet pbuh didn’t take a second wife while married to khadija and even advised his son in law ali against it because his wife Fatima didn’t want him to have a second wife while she was alive.
This a real faithful Muslim man would respect his wife’s wishes and if he doesn’t want to be married to a woman that won’t accept a co wife relationship then he should not marry her to begin with rather then causing her l, himself and their kids emotional distress in the future
It was the case in past lot of man married and gets affair the question is not women the question is man and his finance he is be able to work both both houses or his marriage responsibility is in bed , or because state profile they do not longer work for family … most of the time man marry women who has income and do 50-50 if those women found it good they will jump !
Right - where is that second wife?🤔😝😝😝🤷🏿♂️
They want 4 wives but cant even perfect their 5 prayers
Speaking back comes under backbiting
Seek guidance and support from ALLAAH.
@@shamshudashamshuda6258 this is not backbiting. Only the best men deserve a wife or four wives.
@@malikalithgow2124 Ukhti we cannot establish who is the best of men, Allāhu A'lam. Whoever has the means to it and can support 2-4 wives and treat each fairly, he should do it. It is a sunnah and looked highly upon, and it also helps in maintaining one's chastity and avoiding Zina and that which Allāh hates.
It was narrated that Sa’eed bin Jubair said: Ibn ‘Abbas met me and said:
Have you got married? I said: No. He said: Get married. Then he met me after that and said: Have you got married? I said: No. He said: Get married, for the best of this ummah is the one who has the most wives.
Musnad Ahmad 2048
Notice the silence when knowledge shows up. Micro feminism such a disappointment.
Not perfecting 5 times prayer. As a women I believe you speaking from what you see in your father, brother, husband or sons. This is problem with men in your family, please don't assume other men are the same.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: What is the ruling on a married woman staying with a husband who does not pray and he has children from her?
He replied:
If a woman is married to a man who does not pray in congregation or at home, then the marriage is not valid, because the one who does not pray is a kaafir, as is indicated by the Holy Qur’aan and the Sunnah and the views of the Sahaabah. ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Shaqeeq said: The companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not regard the omission of any deed to be kufr except prayer.
It is not permissible for a kaafir to marry a Muslim woman because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“then if you ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10]
If he stops praying after getting married, then the marriage contract is annulled, unless he repents and comes back to Islam. Some of the scholars limited that to the end of the ‘iddah; once the ‘iddah ends then it is not permissible for him to go back to her if he becomes Muslim, except with a new marriage contract.
The woman has to separate from him and not allow him to be intimate with her unless he repents and starts to pray, even if she has children from him, because in this case the father does not have custody of the children.” End quote from Fataawa Arkaan al-Islam, p. 279.
Afwan I thought Shaykh Rabee hafidhahullah warned from Ruhayli?
Did he warn against him in something specific or in total ?
Plz send his refutation if you have it
@@zc8183 good question! Because refutation (jarh) has two types just as shaykh ibn 'uthamin mentioned in his book mustalah Al-Hadith: jar7 mutlaq (unrestricted refutation) like the people of bidah as we shouldn't take from them unless its necceistity like the imams of hadith taking narrations from the khawarij etc. And the second type, which is jarh muqayyad( restricted refutation) so you can take ilm from them but not it specific aspects of the deen like the ones whom fell into mistakes in asmaa wassifaat (names and attributes) like the two hafiths; ibn hajr and an-nawawi may Allaah have mercy on them. You don't say just because they made mistakes in names and attributes, I'm not going to take from them.. you take from their work but when it comes to that part (names and attributes of Allaah) stay away from them.
@@ahsm9206 @A HS barakAllahu feek this is clear, I'm sure if Shaykh Ruhalyi was to the extent that we cannot benefit from him entirely, other ulema would have mentioned it also with clear proofs, however what has been mentioned so far does not take the shaykh off the manhaj, nor harm his knowledge and status. Unless they believe he is an innovator then that is something they must prove. If not then I will remain in benefiting from him and learning from him hafithahullah, may Allah raise him for his beautiful knoweldge and active dawah.
SubhanAllah if we had this mentality for all the ulema then there will be no shaykh to learn from
@@ahsm9206 JazakAllahu khair for the response as this explanation is extremely important. Unfortunately a lot of us lack the understanding of how Jarh works moreover, not many of us take the time to study these important lessons yet we still have the audacity to drop a Shaykh and loose out on beneficial knowledge. May Allah bless and reward you and keep us firm upon this beautiful religion.
That was Ibrâhīm ar-Ruḥaylī, not Sulaymān.
For those saying polygamy is not for today's world
You have obviously never in your life met a real man who is able to do justice between multiple wives and is a God fearing muslim. And you have also not met such women who are living happily in such a marriage happily and with taqwa.
It sounds like your opinions are based on extreme negativity.
Polygamy might not be common or even practically possible in the west or other "modern" non Muslim countries, but it is very much normal and successful in Muslim majority countries
If both the husband and wife have correct Taqwa in them, and ask Allah for help, polygamy is very much successful and beneficial for them in the Dunya as well as in the Aakhirah.
May Allah guide those who accuse others of injustice and brain wash them against the Halal acts,not knowing what sin they might be bringing on themselves , specially in today's world where multiple haram relationship are so common, and halal respectable marriages are criticised by 'feminists'.
Real feminism is supporting your husband and allowing him to marry a widow/divorcee so that other women get a mahram and a guardian too.
- A first wife Alhamdulillah
Only the best men deserve a wife or four wives.
That's not what the scholars say....
You said that? Did you just come up with your own rule?
So are you saying the worst of men don’t deserve a wife? You realise that a wife prevents you from haram. Saying it’s only for the best of people when there is no evidence for it is only gonna cause fitna
Only the men who are physically capable, mentally sage, & a man of his wives, are strong enough to withstand the responsibilities of the art of polygyny.
I literally don't understand this condition, this is useless for a woman . If she cannt stop him from second marriage what is use of putting this condition.
It says now it is upto you whether you want to stay or not, after marriage n children no woman wants to take divorce because of this patetic society n if Allah already says that if man is not able to do right justice between two wives n their children ,wife has right to take khula . So better stick to that because by taking khula in this ways which will happen in 99.99 cases you will be not conditional in eyes of Allah n for sure your husband will go to hell, as the base of khula is injustice between wives n their children .
No mercy of Allah on him doesn't matter how many good deeds he did in his life .
He will be paralysed at that day of judgment n will go to hellfire.
So , stop putting condition ,it is useless. I don't know by doing these useless things n saying we are thinking about women rights what these Mufties are trying to prove.
Trust on Allah ,his justice is utmost.
My dear sister if a man decided to do second he will not think whether you take khula or not , because he has no interest in you that is the reason he wants second wife this is the truth .
He will be more worried about justice as that is difficult for him because men are cunning by nature they wants only good for themselves not for wives n children.
So better avoid these type of men ,if unfortunately this will happen then hv saber n do what Allah says
Do injustice which will happen in 99.99 take khula on that bases you will save you Jannah n let him go to hell.
Best solution given by Allah.
Alhumdulilah
By putting this condition you will degraded on Allah eye as you cannt stop your husband n he will do then we all know woman cannt take khula on this base because of children n society n parents ,so at last you hv to live with him .
Then he will do injustice ,then you take khula.
But in judgement day , judgement of husband go to hellfire that is for sure .
Allah will ask you about your greed first put condition n then stay with your husband .
It is just a fitna for you , it will not change anything in your life only ruin your akhirat as you cannt stop your husband then what is he use of this condition, it is useless for a woman.
If a man has takva of Allah ,he will nv go for second marriage.
If he goes trust nv able to do right justice among wives n children.
Life is unpredictable , men think they can control allah know what to do with these type of opportunity seeker people who doesn't care about wife n children only running for other woman, trust Allah.
He will nv do injustice to anyone.
just talk about it before getting married if you feel you can not handle it. If the brother says, he is open to it don't get married then. Problem solved.
@@tahirballikaya213 Ya, that is true.
Be honest .
Whats the Middle path
You have obviously never in your life met a real man who is able to do justice between multiple wives and is a God fearing muslim. And you have also not met such women who are living happily in such a marriage happily and with taqwa.
It sounds like your opinions are based on extreme negativity.
Polygamy might not be common or even practically possible in the west or other "modern" non Muslim countries, but it is very much normal and successful in Muslim majority countries
If both the husband and wife have correct Taqwa in them, and ask Allah for help, polygamy is very much successful and beneficial for them in the Dunya as well as in the Aakhirah.
May Allah guide those who accuse others of injustice and brain wash them against the Halal acts,not knowing what sin they might be bringing on themselves , specially in today's world where multiple haram relationship are so common, and halal respectable marriages are criticised by 'feminists'.
Real feminism is supporting your husband and allowing him to marry a widow/divorcee so that other women get a mahram and a guardian too.
- A first wife Alhamdulillah.
@@HenaKauser-s5x im in this situation make dua for me. 10 years and no change no divorce and no living together . living seperately from him and the kids with me and ive become so traumatized. Dont know if i should take khula because he said he will not give unless i give him the kids if i remarry
Many real Nisa want their husbands to do polygyny, Umm Salamh asked Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him to take not another but an extra wife...
Stop spreading false info. Before she married the prophet, she told him (SAW) she wouldnt be able to handle it cuz of jealousy but he (SAW) asked Allah to remove that jealousy from her heart and Allah did so they married
@@layla1796 Asalam Aleiki sister thank you for your consideration h/e though What you say is true I think but also what I am saying is true and based on hadith Bukhari 5107 Nikah, Nasai 3204 Nikah, ebn Majah 1939 Nikah. This just shows we should take steps, if I ever proceed to polygyny I will make dua like this but growing up many nisa would like me in pairs, best friends or first cousins and so forth so I never had that issue of them feeling like that. I really do believe this sunna should be taught properly to motivate us brothers to be good leaders for you sisters even if we only end up with one. Jazak Allahu Khayr. Ramadan Mubarak to you and your family if they are Muslim too.
To be honest i would not feel jealous at all... men can love more women at the same time i don't see an issue with that at all.
not sure i would listen to this crap