Thank you for this video. I’m his first long term girlfriend and this was a struggle in our relationship. It was really hard to work through but now that he got to the other side, he knows the boy he was before wasn’t really him. I’m proud of him for changing to be a better man even when some of his friends weren’t supportive because they don’t understand, and they see no problem lusting after women even when they have a partner. I applaud all the men choosing real connection and love. Keep it up kings.
Thank you for this vid. I'm a ethicist and I want to add something: I think most guys are not "choosing" porn over girlfriends. But that trend (that it seems guys choosing porn over girlfriends) is actually a consequence of the way we guys handle rejection. That is something that isn't learned in school, but where girls get self-defense classes to prevent their self by unwanted attention, there is nothing for guys that gets rejected. But unwanted rejection for the guys is the equivalent of unwanted attention for girls. A man must learn how to deal with unwanted rejection more or less the same way a woman must learn how to deal with unwanted attention. A woman learns in self-defense classes how to push a man away but not provoke more bad behavior. A man must learn to accept the rejection without get confused or deeply depressed by mixed massages or the things the woman says to him or how she is ignoring him (translation: a man must learn to accept and move on without being hurt). Because that is one true thing: Most of the time a woman rejects a man because of her feelings. And that is something that is illogical and it causes a lot of mixed signals and problems. A man must know that he has to accept and respect her feelings, even though she can't fully explain why she rejects you. (Yes, it's rude sometimes and it seems she doesn't care for your feelings. But that is actually a good thing. She is honest to her feelings and you won't give her the love that is for the woman you like and likes you.) The question then remains: But what about my feelings for her and my longing for a girlfriend then? And the simple answer is: NOT porn and NOT a relationship with another girl 🙂 Long answer: your feelings and longings matter, but only if you care for your feelings yourself. It never depends on the girl you have a crush on. We need human connection, but it is not the solution to this problem and therefore a girfriend/wife is not the solution either. It's what you said: Real relationships are sometimes messy and can't give some things that AI or porn can give you. And to work at and for a relationship with your girlfriend is what is most valuable. I agree entirely! She has to learn that you have needs, she can respond to those needs without giving you sex all the time (most of the time we guys want love, intimacy and caring and sex is important but also in the end not the most important). And a man has to learn that she is not the solution to their needs and that her feelings about the connection you share are as valuable as yours. If you know how to deal with her feelings in a relationship (and actually use to the benefits of the relationship), the girl is lucky to have you. If you use porn and mastubation, know that it literally does ZERO for your life, especially when you want a relationship with a girl. But going to a cafe/bar or new community alone, can change your life. If you experience a threshold by doing things alone, know that this is exactly the threshold the girl experience when she is with you. So work first on yourself by learning how to deal with rejection and being alone. If you know how to do that, you will not use porn to satisfy your needs, because you don't have to.
To clarify the last statement: It's like quitting fastfood, if you workout or do something you really like, you don't think about food. And if you did a great workout you don't want to mess it up. So actually you are not quitting the fastfood, you do different positive things that slowly but surely takes over eating at fastfood restaurants.
That's a really good point that we are not taught how to deal with rejection, even though it's something we will have to deal with for sure. 100% agree with the points you make here. It's a pity that the current gender/dating discourse is so damn toxic. We really need each other and young people aren't given the tools and know how they need to thrive.
@@QuitByHealing Yes I totally agree. Thank you for doing this work. I think your videos are a part of the tools we all need! The way you explain thinks by not "screaming" and "pushing" is actually the best way to understand how to change and see things clearly. I'm very grateful for that.
I swore off women for at least a year to help me with recovery.. no porn or masturbation, too. I am on day 14 but I am freaked out as no urges whatsoever. Not sure why. Hope the urges that come wont knock me off. Next two weeks will be critical. I will be strong.
Don't worry about it, mate. You're just experiencing the flatline, which is very common during recovery. Here's my video about it: ruclips.net/video/bIdb60GrI18/видео.html
@@QuitByHealing yeah, its done.. i was going strong, what killed me was WD, full of hardcore porn and I remembered most of it after waking up.. i was in battle until my mind convinced me I will just hear some ASMR to get some dopamine and that lead to erotic asmr and that to porn.. i hate those WD so much its like a punishment for trying, you try so hard and then your own body sabotages you when you are the most vulnerable.. i hate this so much, so pissed off
@@QuitByHealing no, i dont mind WD per se, I mind chaser effect after them that makes me think of things I dont want to anymore and arouses almost physical need in me, thats what I hate about it
Honestly I have no time or money for a girlfriend. Most women my age range (35-43) are overweight. I've met only a couple women since getting divorced that I connected with enough for sex. Never had a ONS. And yes, I'm working hard on getting into positive networth. Im already fit. And I do ask out women who are attractive.
I have a close friend suffering from PIED. He confessed to me that he's been suffering from PMO addiction for atleast 8 years and often watched a few videos everday n all. He's been clean for nearly 4 months now. He's been eating healthy n taking all the vitamins n mental cleanup as well. How long should it take for him to approximately given his duration of addiction n the changes he's making?? He's a good young guy in distress I just wanna help him out if possible. Thank you for the video n reading the comment ❤
Speed of recovery depends on a lot of factors. I have two videos on this topic that will give you a clearer idea: This one covers the PIED topic in general: ruclips.net/video/avTvF2Px7Kg/видео.html And this one explains the different causes of ED and why quitting porn is sometimes not enough: ruclips.net/video/CC1Gc-8_TaY/видео.html
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Keep doing gods work
another high quality video! thank you so much for the work you put in this, bro!
thank you!
Thank you for this video. I’m his first long term girlfriend and this was a struggle in our relationship. It was really hard to work through but now that he got to the other side, he knows the boy he was before wasn’t really him. I’m proud of him for changing to be a better man even when some of his friends weren’t supportive because they don’t understand, and they see no problem lusting after women even when they have a partner. I applaud all the men choosing real connection and love. Keep it up kings.
Thank you for supporting your man through this journey! That means a lot.
Anothe great video on another important topic!
Porn doesn't satisfy anything
Girlfriend/wife is for peace, care and love , empathy
Thank you for this vid. I'm a ethicist and I want to add something: I think most guys are not "choosing" porn over girlfriends. But that trend (that it seems guys choosing porn over girlfriends) is actually a consequence of the way we guys handle rejection. That is something that isn't learned in school, but where girls get self-defense classes to prevent their self by unwanted attention, there is nothing for guys that gets rejected. But unwanted rejection for the guys is the equivalent of unwanted attention for girls.
A man must learn how to deal with unwanted rejection more or less the same way a woman must learn how to deal with unwanted attention. A woman learns in self-defense classes how to push a man away but not provoke more bad behavior. A man must learn to accept the rejection without get confused or deeply depressed by mixed massages or the things the woman says to him or how she is ignoring him (translation: a man must learn to accept and move on without being hurt). Because that is one true thing: Most of the time a woman rejects a man because of her feelings. And that is something that is illogical and it causes a lot of mixed signals and problems. A man must know that he has to accept and respect her feelings, even though she can't fully explain why she rejects you. (Yes, it's rude sometimes and it seems she doesn't care for your feelings. But that is actually a good thing. She is honest to her feelings and you won't give her the love that is for the woman you like and likes you.)
The question then remains: But what about my feelings for her and my longing for a girlfriend then? And the simple answer is: NOT porn and NOT a relationship with another girl 🙂 Long answer: your feelings and longings matter, but only if you care for your feelings yourself. It never depends on the girl you have a crush on. We need human connection, but it is not the solution to this problem and therefore a girfriend/wife is not the solution either. It's what you said: Real relationships are sometimes messy and can't give some things that AI or porn can give you. And to work at and for a relationship with your girlfriend is what is most valuable. I agree entirely!
She has to learn that you have needs, she can respond to those needs without giving you sex all the time (most of the time we guys want love, intimacy and caring and sex is important but also in the end not the most important). And a man has to learn that she is not the solution to their needs and that her feelings about the connection you share are as valuable as yours. If you know how to deal with her feelings in a relationship (and actually use to the benefits of the relationship), the girl is lucky to have you. If you use porn and mastubation, know that it literally does ZERO for your life, especially when you want a relationship with a girl. But going to a cafe/bar or new community alone, can change your life. If you experience a threshold by doing things alone, know that this is exactly the threshold the girl experience when she is with you. So work first on yourself by learning how to deal with rejection and being alone. If you know how to do that, you will not use porn to satisfy your needs, because you don't have to.
To clarify the last statement: It's like quitting fastfood, if you workout or do something you really like, you don't think about food. And if you did a great workout you don't want to mess it up. So actually you are not quitting the fastfood, you do different positive things that slowly but surely takes over eating at fastfood restaurants.
That's a really good point that we are not taught how to deal with rejection, even though it's something we will have to deal with for sure.
100% agree with the points you make here. It's a pity that the current gender/dating discourse is so damn toxic. We really need each other and young people aren't given the tools and know how they need to thrive.
@@QuitByHealing Yes I totally agree. Thank you for doing this work. I think your videos are a part of the tools we all need! The way you explain thinks by not "screaming" and "pushing" is actually the best way to understand how to change and see things clearly. I'm very grateful for that.
I swore off women for at least a year to help me with recovery.. no porn or masturbation, too. I am on day 14 but I am freaked out as no urges whatsoever. Not sure why. Hope the urges that come wont knock me off. Next two weeks will be critical. I will be strong.
Don't worry about it, mate. You're just experiencing the flatline, which is very common during recovery. Here's my video about it: ruclips.net/video/bIdb60GrI18/видео.html
@@QuitByHealing yeah, its done.. i was going strong, what killed me was WD, full of hardcore porn and I remembered most of it after waking up.. i was in battle until my mind convinced me I will just hear some ASMR to get some dopamine and that lead to erotic asmr and that to porn.. i hate those WD so much its like a punishment for trying, you try so hard and then your own body sabotages you when you are the most vulnerable.. i hate this so much, so pissed off
@@Yilikeitthisway why worry about wet dreams? You're assigning meaning to them, but it's just random mind stuff.
@@QuitByHealing no, i dont mind WD per se, I mind chaser effect after them that makes me think of things I dont want to anymore and arouses almost physical need in me, thats what I hate about it
Hye bro can next video you made about how to not implify sexual thought in our mind?
I have a video on this topic coming out soon 👍
@@QuitByHealing good thank you bro being helpful
Honestly I have no time or money for a girlfriend. Most women my age range (35-43) are overweight. I've met only a couple women since getting divorced that I connected with enough for sex. Never had a ONS. And yes, I'm working hard on getting into positive networth. Im already fit. And I do ask out women who are attractive.
It's worth taking the time to find the right one.
I have a close friend suffering from PIED. He confessed to me that he's been suffering from PMO addiction for atleast 8 years and often watched a few videos everday n all. He's been clean for nearly 4 months now. He's been eating healthy n taking all the vitamins n mental cleanup as well. How long should it take for him to approximately given his duration of addiction n the changes he's making?? He's a good young guy in distress I just wanna help him out if possible. Thank you for the video n reading the comment ❤
Speed of recovery depends on a lot of factors. I have two videos on this topic that will give you a clearer idea:
This one covers the PIED topic in general: ruclips.net/video/avTvF2Px7Kg/видео.html
And this one explains the different causes of ED and why quitting porn is sometimes not enough: ruclips.net/video/CC1Gc-8_TaY/видео.html
@@QuitByHealing I will definitely give them a view and share with my friend. Thanks a lot for everything you do for us man.
But AI will get better and better!
...at extracting attention from your brain and money from your wallet, yes.
I study coding...both my brain and wallet will be just fine
Wow