This may be your best message so far. Here’s another view point on the restaurant issue: as an exhausted working woman, the last thing I wanted to do was pick the restaurant at the end of the day. Most nights, I cooked a full meal because I could do that easier than going out, waiting on food, etc. I wish I had been more willing to just have a sandwich or scrambled eggs for dinner, but I couldn’t serve that to my husband. He loved my cooking and I knew it was better for our health. Now that he’s gone, I eat leftovers, oatmeal, something easy most nights and it’s FINE. It’s not perfect, but it’s FINE. At last, I have more compassion for myself. (And the time I save on food prep is remarkable!)
Many years ago, I bought a dozen pairs of the same socks. My thinking was that I would not have to waste time sorting my laundry because any 2 socks would match. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And avoid paralysis by analysis. There is much wisdom in this vid. Thx for sharing.
"We just need to breathe. We just need to be..." That is exactly right, Tim. It has taken me 62 years to allow myself such an indulgence and has proved to be the best gift I have ever given myself. To you, and everyone here who is struggling, I wish you PEACE. Your content is wonderful!
Tim, this is one of the most necessary, eloquent, and inspiring talks in my recent memory. There is so much wisdom, insight, and simple humanity here that I could draw from it every day. Thank you for sharing your many gifts with us. I look forward to more.
Great video! For the last 20 years of my work life, I wore scrubs... so easy to choose. My grocery list is pretty much the same every week because I know what I like to eat. I order my groceries and go pick them up when they're ready. My social calendar is going out with friends a couple of times a month, but when I'm out, I just want to get back home. Living a simple quiet life suits me. Thanks Tim, for reminding us that we can let go of the chaos and anxiety and live a good life that is still fulfilling and calm.
Years ago I would get on the bus with my 4 ye a r old daughter. A gentleman across from us always wore a workmans uniform Aa darker shhade of green or a darker shade of gray. My daughter always noticed his socks .They were wild and she loved them. I swear she learned her colours from him . When he realized, that he made a habit of pu lling up his pant legs like men do and then would cross his legs. I've never forgotten his kindness. His compassion eliminated my anxiety
Thanks for the wise message on options and perfection. I was in much need of a refresher course. It reminded me of the story of the Navajo rug. The Navajo always leave a small imperfection in everything they create. They believe that God is perfect and people can’t ever achieve that level of perfection. Navajo rugs are always perfectly imperfect. I say this as I sit back and look at the 14 paint swatches on my wall. Lol
You are so right! I looked for hardwood flooring for years, literally, because everywhere I went, I was directed toward a wall of hundreds of options. I finally made a decision once I went to a store where I told them what I wanted, and they showed me no more than 5 options. I bought one of the 5 options and loved it once it was installed. I have since moved, but it was a good lesson that I applied to my selection of carpet in my new house. No regrets there, either.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve been trying to eat less processed food, so I’ve been buying more produce. As a result, my fridge is crammed with enough fresh fruits and veggies to serve 20 people. But I live alone, so most of it goes to waste. Not only because I can’t eat that much, but also because I can’t decide what to eat. So, I just make a sandwich or open a can of soup. I have been eating the same breakfast for two years and it is so easy. I’m going to extend that idea into my other meals as well. Thanks for the motivation.
Have you tried freezing some of th excess? My favorite thing to do at the end of the week is making a vegetable soup. Using leftover veggies and staples such as canned tomatoes, fresh carrots, celery and onions. Keep the seasonings the same each time. It's surprising how nice the soup is! I save out enough for the week and freeze the rest in freezer bags, laying them flat. How about roasting your veggies and tossing with pasta? Have fun and good luck staying away from processed food. I try the same.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, Tim. I have moved twice in recent years into a smaller home each time. I’m not big on decorating for holidays, so I’ve been getting rid of holiday stuff. I’m down to two Christmas items, both given to me by my Mom, who passed away in December 2021. I took the snow globe out of the box and put it on top of a bookcase in my dining room a few weeks ago. I’m ready to part with it now. I just needed to sit with it for a while to allow me to let go.
I am doing the same thing with holiday items, I'm down to a very small box and a ceramic tree my gram made and I have loved since I was a little girl, I know I'm keeping the ceramic tree but for some reason I feel bad about letting that small box of ornaments go even tho I will never use them again. Its hard : (
You are so right. Being polite and compassionate with workers in stores, restaurants etc. makes such a difference. It's so great to see their shoulders relax and their smile come up
I feel like I was handed a bowl in which all of those flavored icecream cones fell. I began to eat with what I recognized as being a very big spoon. I now feel very fat, and very happy. As you spoke and I ate every smooth and crunchy bite, I was reminded about the 7 or 8 richly coloured cord pants I had accummulated from Costco half a lifetime ago, and rarely wore, that presently sit in the trunk of our car, awaiting transfer to my favorite charity shop. I myself scour charity shops for unique dresses that women rarely ever wore after attending Christmas parties or having travelled to exotic warm locations. I wear these dresses every day until they hang like shreds on my ever aging body. I feel elegance in these, not only during the day, but as I crawl into bed, consciously exuberant about my never-ending pleasure in them. With this post, you have provided to me, in the midst of some areas of poverty in my life, another caloric offering that confirms how very rich I know I really am. My deepest gratitude to you today, and a hug back to God for the hug He just gave me!! I hope you feel it too.❤❤❤
Nope, not a writer. Tim has been given a gift, and when he faithfully shares things he has come to know, sometimes the threads come together and create something REALLY special. I confess to catching one of them thar threads and swinging on it with poetic glee! I did feel a bit embarrassed afterwards though, thinking I had left an impression that I was a loopy eccentric who lifted her legs up onto her bed at night clutching at great gobs of black satin and sequined fabric, laying my tiara on the nightstand beside me. Eccentric? I am not! A "character?" Perhaps. Thanks for the word hug. It made me feel good❤️
The wardrobe story is is funny. Many years ago during a difficult time in my life I streamlined my wardrobe to Blacks ,grays and a few whites . 14 yrs laters still my preference. So un complicated !
What a powerful video packed with amazing insight and wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I will take your words to heart. Blessings from California XXX
My Grandfather's favorite "words of wisdom" were to tell me "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all." I dearly loved that man and tried to make him proud every day of my life. However, I truly believe hearing that statement over an over through my formidable years, has led me to a life of extreme perfectionism - to the point of despising myself and being disappointed in myself when I make a mistake. And YES - I advanced to the stage of procrastination at least five years ago - and I do it VERY well!! Now that I'm an Elder Orphan and have no one to satisfy or blame but myself, I think I have finally come to the conclusion that both perfectionism, and procrastination are truly exhausting and totally unnecessary in my life! Just breathe; just be; just eliminate the pressure of being the best at every single thing 24/7. Thank you so much for your insightful message Tim. Your words and this video has helped me more than you know!! ♥
Such wise words👍 I totally agree..too many options and choise in our lives today. I work with children and I see the problem allready in the early days.
I almost cried when you said that you procrastinate because inside you are a perfectionist and if you know it's not going to be perfect you just don't do it. ...That's me. 100%. Between that and anxiety I'm holding myself back from a lot of things. But...I'm trying to push beyond it, slowly but surely. You made an impact today...thanks.
Sharon, I can relate...and I didn't cry but I felt a great weight lifted off. I was starting to wonder if my brain was broken. Shopping for anything that isn't standard can be overwhelming because of the choices- so I usually leave empty-handed. One thing that has helped is to go back to basics & for me that means giving a handmade item! (It's very satisfying as well.) 😊 Happy Autumn/Fall!
As a young mother, I stressed about so many things and my mother said "Jan, 20 years from now, will this really matter? If not, then it doesn't matter now, enjoy your children because in 20 years you won't have them home." It changed my life. The only perfection was found in Jesus and will be found in heaven, perfection here is just an illusion at best and can ruin our joy and the joy of those around us. Excellent video.
"It's good enough for who it's for." I love that! Thank you! In my last few years of teaching 3rd grade, I adopted this motto from Elisa Morgan... "She did what she could." As you know, there's never enough you can do for the kids, parents, and admin. This motto helped me feel okay about what I was able to do.
I worked for a company which was dedicated to innovation and beating the competition to market with every new product. So our catch phrase became, "Done is better than perfect." It was easier to get stuff done when our focus was on the right thing...being DONE! I learned much from working with that company. I'm not capable of perfection, anyway. Thanks for the video. It was perfect.
This is the funniest comment. I’m having fun here so don’t think I’m picking on you. But your phrase was better done than perfect. Then you tell Tim his video was perfect. It just made me laugh. Guess it’s done AND perfect. Love this channel.
I laughed at your opening joke. You are immensinly entertaining to watch! Your students were lucky to have you for all those years. Just love your channel!
Great message today! I am a recovering perfectionist, but am finding a great deal of peace with every cupboard and closet I declutter. Letting go of things I no longer need is hard but good.
Simplicity is truly key. Thanks for the reminder. Both sets of my grandparents lived through the Great Depression and were very poor. When my parents began to make a “better” living/life, MORE things were considered a result of their hard work and success. But as they got older, they realized the anxiety that came with MORE. Both passed while living a much simpler life …and they had been happier during the simple years than during the “more” years.
The paradox of choice … that is well said. This definitely resonates with me as well as procrastinating and perfectionism… the perfect ‘anxiety’ trio ..lol.
I get my nails done monthly. I KNOW going in what color I want, I have a color for every month. Then there are lots of choices in that color. I choose 3, say purples, and have the nail tech show me what each looks like on her nail or mine, or on a tissue, then choose the one I want. Easy Peasy. No more going in and spending a half hour looking at ALL the colors and still having a problem deciding.
I agree, I find great joy and peace when I compliment and be real and compassionate with people who work in grocery stores or restaurants or wherever. Sometimes they don’t get my humor but they do get I’m being kind and appreciate them.
Oh, TV, the bane of my existence!! So many channels and, really, nothing on. I've gotten rid of most of my streaming services. Now, I have just 2. Netflix and RUclips. And I even find that to be too much, sometimes. I'm still decluttering all kinds of other stuff, as well. It's a process. Yes, show kindness and compassion - every day ✨. From "soon to be retired" in Canada 🇨🇦
Thank you for this inspirational message. You always have a little gem, layered within your videos. This was the nugget I needed today. May His face shine down upon us all.
I enjoy so much listening to you, Tim. Even if we don't go easier on ourselves, it is no excuse not to have compassion, tolerance or patience on or with others. The truth is, we are not that other person and have no right to judge them by our circumstances. Also, I wasted so much time procrastinating because I knew the task I had to do could be done better. I didn't realize until I was taught later on in life, that a first attempt was just my first draft which could be improved upon until I was satisfied with the end result. Thanks for being so relatable and for sharing your life experiences. The world is in such need for practical teaching.
I wore a uniform the first four years of my working life. Simplified things! I’ve been working my way back to that simplicity since retirement. So much is extra and unnecessary. I hear you regarding the TV. I finally got rid of cable and live streaming. Don’t miss it a bit.
At almost 77, I'm decluttering my own home as well as my 97 year old mother's after the death of my father 2 years ago. I look forward to the day her house is settled for good, and my own well down to just what my husband and I need to be comfortable. I'm not a minimalist, but I'm tired of giving time to items that just don't matter to us.
My starting a carnivore diet 2 months ago, in order to get over my pre-diabetes and lose 15 pounds, has relieved me from walking down the "bad" food aisles in my supermarket and coming home with bad choices. The ice cream, the cupcakes and cookies were doing me in. I have given into temptation during this journey maybe 3 times, but have returned to the program. I don't want the horrible complications from diabetes that my friend suffered - amputations, blindness, etc. There are several M.D.'s here on RUclips that can help one understand carnivore.
And all the junk food that we knew and loved in our younger days has been re-made, re-named, and re-issued and doesn't taste like it used to. Think "Hostess". Cupcakes, Twinkies, and the like, the chocolate candy that I once loved (Milky Way, 3 Musketeers for example), all taste different now. And what are they doing in the manufacturing process, what with GMO ingredients, man-made sweeteners.......no thanks. I rarely eat the check-out aisle candy any more.
The most aggravating conversations are started with 'Where/what would you like to eat tonight?' And yes, I usually respond with, 'Oh I don't care, whatever you want is fine with me.' and that is the truth. I do not want to make the decision. I am at the end of my day (still working full time). My long-suffering dinner companion (retired) will do whatever he can not to make a decision. He fears that no matter what he chooses it will not be what I want. These are problems of the first world. Too many choices, too much expendable money, and not enough impetus or reason to decide. Actually, I just want to have a meal in peace. Rather than go out, I just want someone else to be in charge of making this decision. If i were honest, I would say, I do not care I just do not want to spend any time making this decision. If you are unable to make a choice, you aren't hungry enough. And really, shouldn't you just hold off eating out until it is an experience that justifies spending the additional cash on. I have a short list of go to meals that can be quickly heated and served because when I am in the 'i don't care' state of mind nothing will satisfy.
I love your chats!! Every time they have a calming effect in my little corner of the world, yet give me something to cogitate while I go about the business of life. Thank you! Have a great day! 💜🌹💜
I am the same kind of person! 😊 An internsl Perfectionist and an external Procrastinator because of it! It is SO difficult to overcome but SO worth it when we can! Or if we do do something that resulrs in "imperfection", that's OK too because NONE of us is perfect and many times the importance is in the journey, not always in the result! 😁👌👍
Loved this video! Everything you said is spot on. There was a study called the Jam study, it showed that people were more likely to purchase jam when there were six varieties displayed than when there were twenty four. When given too many choices, people get overwhelmed and worry there might be a better one than the one they choose. I can relate to this so much, if I have too many choices, I end up walking away. Simplifying all areas of life is definitely the way to find peace.
Great video. I enjoyed the mandatory uniform dress code when my son attended school. Made the process of getting ready for school in the morning so much easier.
I really enjoyed your show today. When something breaks at home. We have too many options for repair or replacement . I was frustrated by this for a week, I had many conflicting and expensive options. Along with repairmen waiting for their availability. I was feeling frustrated and I’m was unable to decide who to go with and what repair. The true was there were too many plumbers involved. I gave up and a handyman I have used in past. He went out and fixed situation in 6 hours. He didn’t over complicate the situation. Thanks again. I now see why I was frustrated. I had too many choices. Hug.s Sue
Your insight in this video is genius.. I get so overwhelmed and when I listened to this it was definitely a light bulb moment for me. Thank you so much for your interesting thoughts. You are priceless. I will definitely start watching all your videos.
Your calm and articulate delivery of information is relaxing and enjoyable. This was a perfect video, so now you can't say that there is nothing you do perfectly! Thank you.
Great advice. One little step at a time makes such a huge difference! I also try something new every time I go to my favorite restaurant on days I'm thinking well, overwhelmed days I know what to order. It takes the stress out of things. :)
I feel your pain. You make a lot of sense. I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, and he says what is in the cupboard? Not what I asked him. He's getting shepherd's pie today, no choice. 😂
Wow!! This is all so true! I had to retire a couple of years ago. It was at that point I realized how freeing not having to make an overabundance of choices was. My calendar is mostly filled with doctor visits these days. My wardrobe for those visits consists of 4 tops and 4 bottoms (all black pants)...BOOM, DONE. For breakfast I've narrowed my menu to 3 choices...always those same 3 choices. I've come to realize my "plate" can't hold a never ending amount of choices anymore. Hearing you voice the idea of "the fewer choices the better" was an anxiety reliever in itself. Thank you for voicing what my brain already knew but my ears and heart needed to hear.
Such a great subject. When my siblings and I were growing up we had no cable TV but only a small TV with 3 major networks and a few other channels. We were content with the choices we had and I don’t remember us ever complaining about not having anything to watch. Today I pay a fortune each month for cable tv with its many channels, and still I can never find anything to watch. Lots of choices but not great ones!
It comes to mind that you are describing the Amish lifestyle and all the other community minded lifestyles. We should take these ways of life to heart.
I recently went to a favorite restaurant twice in two months, but had not been there in over 20 years. They no longer had my favorite on the menu but the remodel was great and I enjoyed the food. Funny thing is I ordered the same dish both times. May not be able to return there for another 20 years.
Had a similar situation to asking where do you want to eat but it concerned watching a DVD when my husband asked me my choice. In turn I get up, pick 3 (that I like ) from our collection and ask him to chose one. 😉 Rarely does he not want to watch any of them. 😁 👍🏻 Also works when asking a child to chose keeping it simple by only offering two choices…A or B. 🥰
I do something similar. I choose 5 then ask my partner to eliminate 1. Then I eliminate 1, then he eliminates 1. Eventually we’re left with one choice. It really works, and both parties feel like they had a say in making the decision.
Children......too many adults ask "what" the child wants instead of giving them a choice between 2 or 3 things. What to wear in the morning and what flavor to buy in the grocery store are two examples. There are so many choices a child doesn't have the capability to make a choice among all of them. It confuses them.
I love this, Tim. I’m a perfectionist and it’s often very difficult to start a project when I’m not sure of the path. Breaking a project into small segments helps. As always, thank you for your perfectly worded thoughts! ❤
My husband and I took our son to toys r us for his 5th birthday to pick out a birthday gift. We had a price limit but thought it would be fun to let him choose what he wanted. Biggest mistake ever!!!! My son was crippled with choices. He kept changing his mind when he saw something else. None of us were in a good mood when we left. In our defense, we were very young. 😂. Great message Tim.
Spot on! Thank you for this timely advice. I wish I had been more willing to accept things as good enough instead of constantly trying for perfection. It would have made my life much easier and more satisfying plus made me easier to live with for my husband and children. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Be blessed! 😊
Here's what I think 🤔 You're spot on with having endless choices to make. It's mind blowing. The husband and wife restaurant choice dilemma was a perfect example. I would go so far as to say that even when you then limit the choices to seafood or Italian cuisine, there are still too many choices. Personal taste of one parmesian dish at one restaurant vs. another still won't let poor hubby off the hook. Haha It's no wonder that you have 600 choices near you. What have we done to ourselves and our children and later generations. Yikes. Always striving for perfection. It makes for unfulfilled lives and lacks purpose. We have in many ways over generations been given much and without thinking provided even more to our children. Technological progress has resulted in many childrens inability to relate to others and communicatiing well. Too many possess self entitlement attitudes we would never have dreamed of. How do we stop that train? I'm getting ahead of myself. There is so much to be learned as in your later example of getting rid of the stress of having to be perfect. Having too much stuff and starting to clean out not just our closets or spaces, but our minds. As you said, even if it's one small thing at a time. To realize that you probably have way more than you'll ever need may be used to help others with basic needs. I'm thinking of clothing and anything else you'll never have a use for or don't have to keep. Thanks Tim. 😊
I cancelled my Netflix subscription because there were just too many choices! A banner would eventually show up asking me if I was having trouble deciding what to watch😂 Great video.
J. Alexander’s… I perked up when you mentioned that. Man, we used to have one here in Orlando, FL, but they closed it years ago. My wife and I loved that place 15 years ago when we were courting and then in the first year or so of marriage. Such a great ambiance and vibe there. Higher end feel for the price of Chilis and Outback. So true about trying to figure out a place to go out to. 😄👍🏻
You are so entertaining and speak such wise and truthful messages to us in your videos. My brain knows it… my ears like to hear it once again… THankYou Tim😁
I found a nice surprise to eating carnivore is that there is no elaborate meal prep or shopping lists to deal with. Open the fridge pick a meat, cook, and eat! So freeing!
I hear you! SO many choices. This is why I’m trying to live a more simplified life. I have a capsule wardrobe..I decluttered so much of my wardrobe of clothes that hung there for months without being worn. I always meal plan for the week ahead so I only shop for the ingredients I need which saves on overspending and overthinking about what to cook. I have anxiety and not having too much clutter or too many choices helps me enormously.
A very mindful video, you nailed when you said , there’s nothing to watch on cable( why I went to just basic ) actually watch more u- tube than anything. Oh I do have 1 extra channel Turner Classic Movies, man they made some good movies back then. One time I overheard my cousin saying to my dad, you should do this that and the other to give more value, and modernize the house: my Dads response : this house is good enough for me…. Very similar to your grampa’s response. We have too much … Life is better when its simpler … thanks for sharing, great video content.😊
Exercise compassion towards others and yourself, life is to be enjoyed and lived! We feel stressed all the time I often do...and am trying to slow down...Thanks for the video!
I love your little chats even though living in the UK I often have no idea what the places, stores and restaurants that you refer to are, it doesn’t matter you speak with such calmness and clarity sprinkled with humour. I look forward to the next one, in the meantime take care.
I love this! It's also about the negative self talk too. Often it's easier to have compassion for others, but to ourselves we are just terrible. I've read that even when we have screwed up we should think about what we would say to our best friend or loved one in the same situation. Surely we would show that compassion. Maybe we should practice on ourselves. 🤔
Eliminating choices have really helped me. Having less stuff has helped me keep the lounge neat. I normally have this in a restaurant: I want choices, but then the menu gives too many. But then, mostly choice is determined by the money we have, to eat out.
lol "There's nothing on!" So true. I end up watching the reliable old series, Law and Order, even though I have seen them all many many times. I will be honest and say that I have used the same remark about restaurants to my boyfriend. When we had t-shirt day at the school where I taught I was so happy! Easy decision, no anxiety. Compassion for sure. Thank you for your words.
I agree with you. I do my best on tasks and projects. Then I finish them and if I see they are far from being perfect after all the work, I just leave it that way. I laugh and say, of course, that was done by me, imperfect but... I love it, especially because it is not perfect!😂
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
This may be your best message so far. Here’s another view point on the restaurant issue: as an exhausted working woman, the last thing I wanted to do was pick the restaurant at the end of the day. Most nights, I cooked a full meal because I could do that easier than going out, waiting on food, etc. I wish I had been more willing to just have a sandwich or scrambled eggs for dinner, but I couldn’t serve that to my husband. He loved my cooking and I knew it was better for our health. Now that he’s gone, I eat leftovers, oatmeal, something easy most nights and it’s FINE. It’s not perfect, but it’s FINE. At last, I have more compassion for myself. (And the time I save on food prep is remarkable!)
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Many years ago, I bought a dozen pairs of the same socks. My thinking was that I would not have to waste time sorting my laundry because any 2 socks would match.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. And avoid paralysis by analysis. There is much wisdom in this vid. Thx for sharing.
👍🏻 A Great Saying . . .
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"We just need to breathe. We just need to be..." That is exactly right, Tim. It has taken me 62 years to allow myself such an indulgence and has proved to be the best gift I have ever given myself. To you, and everyone here who is struggling, I wish you PEACE. Your content is wonderful!
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Tim, this is one of the most necessary, eloquent, and inspiring talks in my recent memory. There is so much wisdom, insight, and simple humanity here that I could draw from it every day. Thank you for sharing your many gifts with us. I look forward to more.
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Great video! For the last 20 years of my work life, I wore scrubs... so easy to choose. My grocery list is pretty much the same every week because I know what I like to eat. I order my groceries and go pick them up when they're ready. My social calendar is going out with friends a couple of times a month, but when I'm out, I just want to get back home. Living a simple quiet life suits me. Thanks Tim, for reminding us that we can let go of the chaos and anxiety and live a good life that is still fulfilling and calm.
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Years ago I would get on the bus with my 4 ye a r old daughter. A gentleman across from us always wore a workmans uniform Aa darker shhade of green or a darker shade of gray. My daughter always noticed his socks .They were wild and she loved them. I swear she learned her colours from him . When he realized, that he made a habit of pu lling up his pant legs like men do and then would cross his legs. I've never forgotten his kindness. His compassion eliminated my anxiety
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Powerful stuff buddy. I now know why I procrastinate so much. Looking for perfection is killing me and stops getting stuff done.
I adopted the motto "it's good enough", several years ago. It takes practice but I'm much happier nowadays. You got this.
@@connieh.4689Ha, that’s what I say after I’ve cleaned my bedroom and I can walk away and I’m fine with it. Good enough!
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Thanks for the wise message on options and perfection. I was in much need of a refresher course. It reminded me of the story of the Navajo rug. The Navajo always leave a small imperfection in everything they create. They believe that God is perfect and people can’t ever achieve that level of perfection. Navajo rugs are always perfectly imperfect. I say this as I sit back and look at the 14 paint swatches on my wall. Lol
LOL. Narrow the swatches down to 4.
You are so right! I looked for hardwood flooring for years, literally, because everywhere I went, I was directed toward a wall of hundreds of options. I finally made a decision once I went to a store where I told them what I wanted, and they showed me no more than 5 options. I bought one of the 5 options and loved it once it was installed. I have since moved, but it was a good lesson that I applied to my selection of carpet in my new house. No regrets there, either.
Yep, so many choices is ridiculous. Don't fall for it. Hundreds of choices......SMH.
Decision fatigue is real. Great examples of this.
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real! very real...
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’ve been trying to eat less processed food, so I’ve been buying more produce. As a result, my fridge is crammed with enough fresh fruits and veggies to serve 20 people. But I live alone, so most of it goes to waste. Not only because I can’t eat that much, but also because I can’t decide what to eat. So, I just make a sandwich or open a can of soup. I have been eating the same breakfast for two years and it is so easy. I’m going to extend that idea into my other meals as well. Thanks for the motivation.
Have you tried freezing some of th excess? My favorite thing to do at the end of the week is making a vegetable soup. Using leftover veggies and staples such as canned tomatoes, fresh carrots, celery and onions. Keep the seasonings the same each time. It's surprising how nice the soup is! I save out enough for the week and freeze the rest in freezer bags, laying them flat. How about roasting your veggies and tossing with pasta? Have fun and good luck staying away from processed food. I try the same.
nice ideas! but he is in the carnivore life style.@@nancycerreta5629
Thank you for your words of wisdom, Tim. I have moved twice in recent years into a smaller home each time. I’m not big on decorating for holidays, so I’ve been getting rid of holiday stuff. I’m down to two Christmas items, both given to me by my Mom, who passed away in December 2021. I took the snow globe out of the box and put it on top of a bookcase in my dining room a few weeks ago. I’m ready to part with it now. I just needed to sit with it for a while to allow me to let go.
I am doing the same thing with holiday items, I'm down to a very small box and a ceramic tree my gram made and I have loved since I was a little girl, I know I'm keeping the ceramic tree but for some reason I feel bad about letting that small box of ornaments go even tho I will never use them again. Its hard : (
It is hard. Sending hugs to you!!🤗❤
You are so right. Being polite and compassionate with workers in stores, restaurants etc. makes such a difference. It's so great to see their shoulders relax and their smile come up
I feel like I was handed a bowl in which all of those flavored icecream cones fell. I began to eat with what I recognized as being a very big spoon. I now feel very fat, and very happy.
As you spoke and I ate every smooth and crunchy bite, I was reminded about the 7 or 8 richly coloured cord pants I had accummulated from Costco half a lifetime ago, and rarely wore, that presently sit in the trunk of our car, awaiting transfer to my favorite charity shop.
I myself scour charity shops for unique dresses that women rarely ever wore after attending Christmas parties or having travelled to exotic warm locations. I wear these dresses every day until they hang like shreds on my ever aging body. I feel elegance in these, not only during the day, but as I crawl into bed, consciously exuberant about my never-ending pleasure in them.
With this post, you have provided to me, in the midst of some areas of poverty in my life, another caloric offering that confirms how very rich I know I really am. My deepest gratitude to you today, and a hug back to God for the hug He just gave me!! I hope you feel it too.❤❤❤
Are you a writer? You painted a picture I can see!
Nope, not a writer. Tim has been given a gift, and when he faithfully shares things he has come to know, sometimes the threads come together and create something REALLY special. I confess to catching one of them thar threads and swinging on it with poetic glee! I did feel a bit embarrassed afterwards though, thinking I had left an impression that I was a loopy eccentric who lifted her legs up onto her bed at night clutching at great gobs of black satin and sequined fabric, laying my tiara on the nightstand beside me. Eccentric? I am not! A "character?" Perhaps.
Thanks for the word hug. It made me feel good❤️
The wardrobe story is is funny. Many years ago during a difficult time in my life I streamlined my wardrobe to Blacks ,grays and a few whites . 14 yrs laters still my preference. So un complicated !
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What a powerful video packed with amazing insight and wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I will take your words to heart. Blessings from California XXX
My Grandfather's favorite "words of wisdom" were to tell me "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all." I dearly loved that man and tried to make him proud every day of my life. However, I truly believe hearing that statement over an over through my formidable years, has led me to a life of extreme perfectionism - to the point of despising myself and being disappointed in myself when I make a mistake. And YES - I advanced to the stage of procrastination at least five years ago - and I do it VERY well!! Now that I'm an Elder Orphan and have no one to satisfy or blame but myself, I think I have finally come to the conclusion that both perfectionism, and procrastination are truly exhausting and totally unnecessary in my life! Just breathe; just be; just eliminate the pressure of being the best at every single thing 24/7. Thank you so much for your insightful message Tim. Your words and this video has helped me more than you know!! ♥
@@PippyKatStamper Well, you write beautifully. I have learned the new to me phrase decision fatigue today. Enjoy. Carole
Such wise words👍 I totally agree..too many options and choise in our lives today. I work with children and I see the problem allready in the early days.
I almost cried when you said that you procrastinate because inside you are a perfectionist and if you know it's not going to be perfect you just don't do it. ...That's me. 100%. Between that and anxiety I'm holding myself back from a lot of things. But...I'm trying to push beyond it, slowly but surely. You made an impact today...thanks.
Thank you.
Sharon, I can relate...and I didn't cry but I felt a great weight lifted off. I was starting to wonder if my brain was broken. Shopping for anything that isn't standard can be overwhelming because of the choices- so I usually leave empty-handed. One thing that has helped is to go back to basics & for me that means giving a handmade item! (It's very satisfying as well.) 😊 Happy Autumn/Fall!
As a young mother, I stressed about so many things and my mother said "Jan, 20 years from now, will this really matter? If not, then it doesn't matter now, enjoy your children because in 20 years you won't have them home." It changed my life. The only perfection was found in Jesus and will be found in heaven, perfection here is just an illusion at best and can ruin our joy and the joy of those around us. Excellent video.
"It's good enough for who it's for." I love that! Thank you! In my last few years of teaching 3rd grade, I adopted this motto from Elisa Morgan... "She did what she could." As you know, there's never enough you can do for the kids, parents, and admin. This motto helped me feel okay about what I was able to do.
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I worked for a company which was dedicated to innovation and beating the competition to market with every new product. So our catch phrase became, "Done is better than perfect." It was easier to get stuff done when our focus was on the right thing...being DONE! I learned much from working with that company. I'm not capable of perfection, anyway. Thanks for the video. It was perfect.
This is the funniest comment. I’m having fun here so don’t think I’m picking on you. But your phrase was better done than perfect. Then you tell Tim his video was perfect. It just made me laugh. Guess it’s done AND perfect. Love this channel.
I laughed at your opening joke. You are immensinly entertaining to watch! Your students were lucky to have you for all those years. Just love your channel!
Thank you! :)
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Great message today! I am a recovering perfectionist, but am finding a great deal of peace with every cupboard and closet I declutter. Letting go of things I no longer need is hard but good.
When you are right, you are right.
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Simplicity is truly key. Thanks for the reminder.
Both sets of my grandparents lived through the Great Depression and were very poor. When my parents began to make a “better” living/life, MORE things were considered a result of their hard work and success. But as they got older, they realized the anxiety that came with MORE. Both passed while living a much simpler life …and they had been happier during the simple years than during the “more” years.
Tim, I’m happy for you that that one video went viral, and now you have all these people appreciating your content!
makes me happy as well!
Thank you for your words of wisdom. 😁
Let's us remember perfection is not of this world. 🙏
Needed to hear that. Sometimes we just need to be a bit kinder to ourselves.
We vut the cords! We pay for RUclips commercial free- that's it. We love it.
The paradox of choice … that is well said. This definitely resonates with me as well as procrastinating and perfectionism… the perfect ‘anxiety’ trio ..lol.
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Exercising compassion eliminates anxiety. Love that.❤
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I get my nails done monthly. I KNOW going in what color I want, I have a color for every month. Then there are lots of choices in that color. I choose 3, say purples, and have the nail tech show me what each looks like on her nail or mine, or on a tissue, then choose the one I want. Easy Peasy. No more going in and spending a half hour looking at ALL the colors and still having a problem deciding.
You can always take your own nail polish in the salon as well. Pick it and stick with it. 😀
I agree, I find great joy and peace when I compliment and be real and compassionate with people who work in grocery stores or restaurants or wherever. Sometimes they don’t get my humor but they do get I’m being kind and appreciate them.
Oh, TV, the bane of my existence!! So many channels and, really, nothing on. I've gotten rid of most of my streaming services. Now, I have just 2. Netflix and RUclips. And I even find that to be too much, sometimes. I'm still decluttering all kinds of other stuff, as well. It's a process. Yes, show kindness and compassion - every day ✨. From "soon to be retired" in Canada 🇨🇦
Well said! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for this inspirational message. You always have a little gem, layered within your videos. This was the nugget I needed today. May His face shine down upon us all.
I enjoy so much listening to you, Tim. Even if we don't go easier on ourselves, it is no excuse not to have compassion, tolerance or patience on or with others. The truth is, we are not that other person and have no right to judge them by our circumstances. Also, I wasted so much time procrastinating because I knew the task I had to do could be done better. I didn't realize until I was taught later on in life, that a first attempt was just my first draft which could be improved upon until I was satisfied with the end result. Thanks for being so relatable and for sharing your life experiences. The world is in such need for practical teaching.
I wore a uniform the first four years of my working life. Simplified things! I’ve been working my way back to that simplicity since retirement. So much is extra and unnecessary.
I hear you regarding the TV. I finally got rid of cable and live streaming. Don’t miss it a bit.
At almost 77, I'm decluttering my own home as well as my 97 year old mother's after the death of my father 2 years ago. I look forward to the day her house is settled for good, and my own well down to just what my husband and I need to be comfortable. I'm not a minimalist, but I'm tired of giving time to items that just don't matter to us.
I gave up TV in 2015 after my diagnosis with leukemia so watching TV has never been a problem for me lol
My starting a carnivore diet 2 months ago, in order to get over my pre-diabetes and lose 15 pounds, has relieved me from walking down the "bad" food aisles in my supermarket and coming home with bad choices. The ice cream, the cupcakes and cookies were doing me in. I have given into temptation during this journey maybe 3 times, but have returned to the program. I don't want the horrible complications from diabetes that my friend suffered - amputations, blindness, etc. There are several M.D.'s here on RUclips that can help one understand carnivore.
@Pondapple I applaud you for your dedication- keep up the great job! 🎉👏🏻
And all the junk food that we knew and loved in our younger days has been re-made, re-named, and re-issued and doesn't taste like it used to. Think "Hostess". Cupcakes, Twinkies, and the like, the chocolate candy that I once loved (Milky Way, 3 Musketeers for example), all taste different now. And what are they doing in the manufacturing process, what with GMO ingredients, man-made sweeteners.......no thanks. I rarely eat the check-out aisle candy any more.
@@texasmimi5566 Just have a spoon of honey or real maple syrup instead. 💖 And GMO's are from the debil....along with pesticides.
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Thank you. Compassion and patience 🙏Your ministry continues. Thank you
The most aggravating conversations are started with 'Where/what would you like to eat tonight?' And yes, I usually respond with, 'Oh I don't care, whatever you want is fine with me.' and that is the truth. I do not want to make the decision. I am at the end of my day (still working full time). My long-suffering dinner companion (retired) will do whatever he can not to make a decision. He fears that no matter what he chooses it will not be what I want. These are problems of the first world. Too many choices, too much expendable money, and not enough impetus or reason to decide.
Actually, I just want to have a meal in peace. Rather than go out, I just want someone else to be in charge of making this decision. If i were honest, I would say, I do not care I just do not want to spend any time making this decision. If you are unable to make a choice, you aren't hungry enough. And really, shouldn't you just hold off eating out until it is an experience that justifies spending the additional cash on.
I have a short list of go to meals that can be quickly heated and served because when I am in the 'i don't care' state of mind nothing will satisfy.
I hear you. I live alone, and most days (today included) I can’t decide where I want to eat.
start with If you want to eat 😃and go from there....@@TheNewRetiredMe
Very Well Said - great video!
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I love your chats!! Every time they have a calming effect in my little corner of the world, yet give me something to cogitate while I go about the business of life. Thank you! Have a great day! 💜🌹💜
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Boy! that hit me big time. Thanks tim.
I am the same kind of person! 😊
An internsl Perfectionist and an external Procrastinator because of it!
It is SO difficult to overcome but SO worth it when we can! Or if we do do something that resulrs in "imperfection", that's OK too because NONE of us is perfect and many times the importance is in the journey, not always in the result!
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Loved this video! Everything you said is spot on. There was a study called the Jam study, it showed that people were more likely to purchase jam when there were six varieties displayed than when there were twenty four. When given too many choices, people get overwhelmed and worry there might be a better one than the one they choose. I can relate to this so much, if I have too many choices, I end up walking away. Simplifying all areas of life is definitely the way to find peace.
The jam study? So interesting!
@@tracybishop7792 yeh I read about it in a book called Goodbye Things by Fumio Sasaki, he’s a Japanese minimalist. Interesting book.
Great video. I enjoyed the mandatory uniform dress code when my son attended school. Made the process of getting ready for school in the morning so much easier.
I really enjoyed your show today. When something breaks at home. We have too many options for repair or replacement . I was frustrated by this for a week, I had many conflicting and expensive options. Along with repairmen waiting for their availability. I was feeling frustrated and I’m was unable to decide who to go with and what repair. The true was there were too many plumbers involved. I gave up and a handyman I have used in past. He went out and fixed situation in 6 hours. He didn’t over complicate the situation. Thanks again. I now see why I was frustrated. I had too many choices. Hug.s Sue
Your insight in this video is genius.. I get so overwhelmed and when I listened to this it was definitely a light bulb moment for me. Thank you so much for your interesting thoughts. You are priceless. I will definitely start watching all your videos.
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Your calm and articulate delivery of information is relaxing and enjoyable. This was a perfect video, so now you can't say that there is nothing you do perfectly! Thank you.
I got nothing to wear!
I got nothing to eat!
There’s nothing on TV!
LOL
We are a mess! ❤
Great advice. One little step at a time makes such a huge difference! I also try something new every time I go to my favorite restaurant on days I'm thinking well, overwhelmed days I know what to order. It takes the stress out of things. :)
I feel your pain. You make a lot of sense. I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, and he says what is in the cupboard? Not what I asked him. He's getting shepherd's pie today, no choice. 😂
Makes perfect sense 👍
Wow!! This is all so true! I had to retire a couple of years ago. It was at that point I realized how freeing not having to make an overabundance of choices was. My calendar is mostly filled with doctor visits these days. My wardrobe for those visits consists of 4 tops and 4 bottoms (all black pants)...BOOM, DONE. For breakfast I've narrowed my menu to 3 choices...always those same 3 choices. I've come to realize my "plate" can't hold a never ending amount of choices anymore. Hearing you voice the idea of "the fewer choices the better" was an anxiety reliever in itself. Thank you for voicing what my brain already knew but my ears and heart needed to hear.
Such a great subject. When my siblings and I were growing up we had no cable TV but only a small TV with 3 major networks and a few other channels. We were content with the choices we had and I don’t remember us ever complaining about not having anything to watch. Today I pay a fortune each month for cable tv with its many channels, and still I can never find anything to watch. Lots of choices but not great ones!
Get rid of cable and get a Roku or Firestick. Free tv going forward.
Thanks Tim, I really appreciated your words of advice.
It comes to mind that you are describing the Amish lifestyle and all the other community minded lifestyles. We should take these ways of life to heart.
I recently went to a favorite restaurant twice in two months, but had not been there in over 20 years. They no longer had my favorite on the menu but the remodel was great and I enjoyed the food. Funny thing is I ordered the same dish both times. May not be able to return there for another 20 years.
Had a similar situation to asking where do you want to eat but it concerned watching a DVD when my husband asked me my choice. In turn I get up, pick 3 (that I like ) from our collection and ask him to chose one. 😉 Rarely does he not want to watch any of them. 😁 👍🏻 Also works when asking a child to chose keeping it simple by only offering two choices…A or B. 🥰
I do something similar. I choose 5 then ask my partner to eliminate 1. Then I eliminate 1, then he eliminates 1. Eventually we’re left with one choice. It really works, and both parties feel like they had a say in making the decision.
Children......too many adults ask "what" the child wants instead of giving them a choice between 2 or 3 things. What to wear in the morning and what flavor to buy in the grocery store are two examples. There are so many choices a child doesn't have the capability to make a choice among all of them. It confuses them.
Awesome Tim! TY! More…
I love this, Tim. I’m a perfectionist and it’s often very difficult to start a project when I’m not sure of the path. Breaking a project into small segments helps. As always, thank you for your perfectly worded thoughts! ❤
Thank you, so true...
Yap.
Great and beautiful message! Thanks for speaking it out loud. Thanks again for this channel.
Thank you. Good talk. Embrace imperfection.
My husband and I took our son to toys r us for his 5th birthday to pick out a birthday gift. We had a price limit but thought it would be fun to let him choose what he wanted. Biggest mistake ever!!!! My son was crippled with choices. He kept changing his mind when he saw something else. None of us were in a good mood when we left. In our defense, we were very young. 😂. Great message Tim.
Spot on! Thank you for this timely advice. I wish I had been more willing to accept things as good enough instead of constantly trying for perfection. It would have made my life much easier and more satisfying plus made me easier to live with for my husband and children. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Be blessed! 😊
❤It is good enough for whom is for! Just love that!
Yes, compassion inward and extended to others makes things better.
Here's what I think 🤔 You're spot on with having endless choices to make. It's mind blowing. The husband and wife restaurant choice dilemma was a perfect example. I would go so far as to say that even when you then limit the choices to seafood or Italian cuisine, there are still too many choices. Personal taste of one parmesian dish at one restaurant vs. another still won't let poor hubby off the hook. Haha
It's no wonder that you have 600 choices near you. What have we done to ourselves and our children and later generations. Yikes. Always striving for perfection.
It makes for unfulfilled lives and lacks purpose. We have in many ways over generations been given much and without thinking provided even more to our children. Technological progress has resulted in many childrens inability to relate to others and communicatiing well. Too many possess self entitlement attitudes we would never have dreamed of.
How do we stop that train? I'm getting ahead of myself. There is so much to be learned as in your later example of getting rid of the stress of having to be perfect. Having too much stuff and starting to clean out not just our closets or spaces, but our minds. As you said, even if it's one small thing at a time. To realize that you probably have way more than you'll ever need may be used to help others with basic needs. I'm thinking of clothing and anything else you'll never have a use for or don't have to keep. Thanks Tim. 😊
I cancelled my Netflix subscription because there were just too many choices! A banner would eventually show up asking me if I was having trouble deciding what to watch😂 Great video.
Absolutely, we have to many choices because we have to much!
Thank you so much a light bulb moment 😎
J. Alexander’s… I perked up when you mentioned that. Man, we used to have one here in Orlando, FL, but they closed it years ago. My wife and I loved that place 15 years ago when we were courting and then in the first year or so of marriage. Such a great ambiance and vibe there. Higher end feel for the price of Chilis and Outback.
So true about trying to figure out a place to go out to. 😄👍🏻
Excellent talk. Thank you!
You are so entertaining and speak such wise and truthful messages to us in your videos. My brain knows it… my ears like to hear it once again… THankYou Tim😁
Thank you!
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I found a nice surprise to eating carnivore is that there is no elaborate meal prep or shopping lists to deal with. Open the fridge pick a meat, cook, and eat! So freeing!
I hear you! SO many choices. This is why I’m trying to live a more simplified life. I have a capsule wardrobe..I decluttered so much of my wardrobe of clothes that hung there for months without being worn. I always meal plan for the week ahead so I only shop for the ingredients I need which saves on overspending and overthinking about what to cook. I have anxiety and not having too much clutter or too many choices helps me enormously.
You speak of things I have thought. I like a choice but not endless. 😊
👍🏻 Exactly !!
A very mindful video, you nailed when you said , there’s nothing to watch on cable( why I went to just basic ) actually watch more u- tube than anything. Oh I do have 1 extra channel Turner Classic Movies, man they made some good movies back then. One time I overheard my cousin saying to my dad, you should do this that and the other to give more value, and modernize the house: my Dads response : this house is good enough for me…. Very similar to your grampa’s response. We have too much … Life is better when its simpler … thanks for sharing, great video content.😊
So so true.
Exercise compassion towards others and yourself, life is to be enjoyed and lived! We feel stressed all the time I often do...and am trying to slow down...Thanks for the video!
So cute and kind of you to ask and care 🎃
I love your little chats even though living in the UK I often have no idea what the places, stores and restaurants that you refer to are, it doesn’t matter you speak with such calmness and clarity sprinkled with humour. I look forward to the next one, in the meantime take care.
Thank you!
I love this! It's also about the negative self talk too. Often it's easier to have compassion for others, but to ourselves we are just terrible. I've read that even when we have screwed up we should think about what we would say to our best friend or loved one in the same situation. Surely we would show that compassion. Maybe we should practice on ourselves. 🤔
Good message. I am working on it.
Eliminating choices have really helped me. Having less stuff has helped me keep the lounge neat.
I normally have this in a restaurant: I want choices, but then the menu gives too many. But then, mostly choice is determined by the money we have, to eat out.
lol "There's nothing on!" So true. I end up watching the reliable old series, Law and Order, even though I have seen them all many many times. I will be honest and say that I have used the same remark about restaurants to my boyfriend. When we had t-shirt day at the school where I taught I was so happy! Easy decision, no anxiety. Compassion for sure. Thank you for your words.
That’s exactly what I watch!! :)
Thank you for this!
Great messages in this!
Well said, Tim. This speaks to my endeavors to start something new. Speaking of restaurants, I’m hungry. 😀
More choice is just craziness...id love to go back to the simplier days!
My dad was a perfectionist , it was difficult for him to enjoy much ! Great insight Tim ! I strive for excellence not perfection !
Wow, you nailed this one!
I needed to hear that. Thanks.
me too! over and over...
Fantastic Video. Choice = Anxiety. 🤔
I agree with you. I do my best on tasks and projects. Then I finish them and if I see they are far from being perfect after all the work, I just leave it that way. I laugh and say, of course, that was done by me, imperfect but... I love it, especially because it is not perfect!😂