I love that you actually mix in some "extreme horror" in your narrations! Not a lot of horror narrators on RUclips do that anymore...I'm glad you still do!
I think this detective overrates himself considerably by saying he's the best in his department. Nothing like not even bothering to check on his partner for days and days.
@@Justme42yay OMG yes! And they're usually just as bad the rest of the time. They think they're good drivers because they can do other stuff while driving. LOL
This is in my top 3 best stories I can listen to and enjoy more than once. . I haven't heard it in over a year. It popped up in my notifications and I was so excited. I made some food, did the shower got pajamas on made some coffee and knew my Sunday night was going to be great. Little smoke , recliner , lights out and THANK YOU .....I WAS IN THE ZONE. YOUR VOICE AND THE EMOTION PUT INTO IT.....TRUELY A MASTER STORY TELLER !!!!
@@daneyal7162 Nah, nah, it was clearly a pocket of swamp gas unexpectedly catching fire in exactly the right spot and moment to open the window in the middle of Seattle.
These longer stories are fantastic! You must be exhausted with the content you've been creating, but we are loving it and appreciate your hard work. This particular story was a lot more gory than I normally like. The concept and your voice kept me pegged, though. Great work CGS! Thanks for keeping us all "sane" during this insane time. I work in one of the critical infrastructure industries and need the brief distraction that your stories bring. Thank you for keeping us grounded :)
Nothing like a good long story from CGS, a couple of cold beers, and hot pizza, after a long day of work, for some of us essential workers, Thanks CSG, you are a well needed break 🍺🍺,Cheers my man..👍👍💯
Awesome way to spend the evening. I am doing exactly the same only a year later. Large pepperoni and Fresh garlic pizza . Ice cold Coors light and over 2 hours long CGS. This is The life 😃🌹💕
So much for hardened detectives even before everything got spoopy they couldnt even get past the first crime scene picture 😂. Also they used a kid, a kid? And had no backup protecting the kid they used as bait 😂😂 Also I like how AFTER the are being tracked they make no logical choices like call for backup or call the cops about the murder scene they stumble at Ana's house. Because it just looks like they went straight to a murder scene without any delay
He is also more bothered by a dream than real horrors he has seen. He contradicts himself (he said he checked up on his partner but then describes his arrival there later as his first). He first gets a kid to lure the creature just like that and then wonders where the creature dwells - as if he completely forgot evidence suggests anyone can attract it at random (which I thought was a longshot when he came up with it, but actually worked). I bet the list is even longer. This story makes me feel like kicking the protagonist in the shins.
I can always count on you to drop a great long story a few times a month. My favorite thing is to put on a long story of yours while I commute to work my guy. Thank you for your consistency.
@@SariennMusic73 I would grow older if I had to go through the reasons! You can go through some comments instead. What is important is that you enjoyed it, so leave it at that for best measures.
@@SariennMusic73 It also violated Chekhov's gun. Mostly in regards to the part when he talks about the creature needing to have a normal identity, and it taking the place of his father in his dreams.
I really enjoy your body of work. It differs from a lot of the other people on here. love your voice as well. Very calming. Thanks for all the hard work.💚💜💚
1:16:30 ...Do you have more unfortunate souls you would like play this pathetic game?..." me: Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl and do I help them? Yes, indeed, those poor unfortunate souls so sad, so true they come flocking to my cauldron crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them? Yes, I do
Awesome story! I love the longer stories, and thank you for all the hard work you put into this. Your voice is so awesome to listen to, perfect for these stories. Stay safe and healthy!!
I really love this story, but just some of the cop’s actions don’t seem like a real one would do. Such as them deciding to live together, even for safety (They’d be seen as involved, even if not true) not reporting windows opening or thumping in their homes where it’s more than obvious the creature has already picked them for a target, and getting takeaway food when the crime scene files would be left in his car and could be stolen, Anna missing for a week and a half and no cops were investigating her disappearance. Her own partner didn’t even check on her for days. It started off so good and creepy, but just devolved into a standard monster story. Very disappointing.
Since EVERYONE ELSE is Happy With This Story and Telling - I Wonder How Many Time's You Must Have Had to Go Back to Listen, to Be Able to Pick it Apart..!!?? ** Now: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
WOW!!!! This was an absolutely awesome story!!!! I like the shorter stories pretty good I LOVE these longer stories better I get so emersed and invested your are an EPIC story teller thank you for working hard just to entertain me!!!!
Not the Stairs in the Woods..!! 😱 I Missed This Öne 3yrs Ago..!! Glad to Listen to it Because it's Horrific.. Job Well Done 👾👻..!! 😮 Thank's.. From 👾 In Ont, 🇨🇦
I have listened to a lot of narrators and creepy pastas read and I have to say that I am really starting to like your narrations over some of the others!!! keep up the good work bro and get that 100k soon!!! cant wait to hear more!!!
wow! this is most insane story i've ever heard and you told it so completely and it actually freaked me out! I was actually dreading what might be in my closet and trying to not be scared. i even had a scented candle lit and freaked out that I had to blow it out! It's been a long time since i felt that coincidentally freaked out!!! Thank you
Boy I definitely have never heard this story before and love it!! Not that I can't believe it but this creature sounds a lot like the Disney Stich just a darker side!! Love it!!
Awesome story... you know I love the long ones and your narrations make them wonderful. I don't take a break... I have to listen all the way through no matter how long. 🙂👍✌️
If it wasnt for some amazing yarns and one of my few fave channels like this awesome one my days would feel so lost! I look forward to listening throughout my work shift all day 😁
I don't understand how he thought they would be able to arrest Stitch. It really doesn't make a lot of sense. People are pretty matter of fact about people being ripped in half and eaten.
And if it's not killers and occult it's suicide due to S.A.D.D. (Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder) it's caused from a lack of vitamin D because the sun seldom shines or breaks through the rain clouds it's crazy
Honestly, _loved_ the narration as always. 😥I'm just not a fan of the story, made it up to 1:31:32. I _tried._ A 'like' for the video, as a ton of hard work went into this. Everyone enjoy, this guy is amazing. Catch you on the next one 🤗🥂
I thought it was just me! I ended up giving in a bit aftee the kid died. The villain was much more disturbing and effective when he wasn't talking bullshit.
@@BlaqueCzar - Sometimes talking too much & over describing things are what _really_ kill a possibly great story. Longer ain't _always_ better... well when it comes to stories 😂😂😂
good reading! story started of really good actually but then it felt like the writer lost intrest and in the end it felt like he just wanted to be finished with it. but im a sucker for these longer writings
Bravo to the writer. Good and scary . To the ones that say he doesn't act like a real dic, Its all like a dream state. Nothing is real. You read well,I enjoy listening to you read.
OK, great narration but like others, I also have a number of issues throughout with the story itself. Others here have already commented on these adequately - so I will not rehash those except to say that I am in basic agreement with those criticisms- though I might not have been as harsh as a few were. Still, as an author of this genre you know when you put yourself out there, people are going to let you know how they feel and you as an author need to have a thick skin. If you can understand the criticisms made by others here, it provides a roadmap for you to quickly improve your skills as a writer. To be fair, I could not have written a story this well. So I certainly hope you will continue to write such stories for many years to come. My main issue, like others, was that Ryan did not always act in ways that were consistent with the initial development of hid charater. Sometimes, such inconsistencies can be a useful tool to employ but only when they are fully planned out. It was the ending, that I was most disappointed with. For Ryan to shoot John was a twist that was completely inconsistent with Ryan's character devopment. While he might have understandsbly felt some tinge of guilt, Ryan would never have been so overwhelmed with it, that he would done something as irrational as shoot John. Ryan, if he had really risen to the top of the detective force by being intellligent, wise (there's a distinct difference between the two), experienced & dedicated would never blame himself so thoroughly for John involvement. John was an adult. He joined law enforcement of his own free will. He could have bailed at any time. Ryan was not the person who assigned John to the cade, Ryan did not force anything on John that John didn't willingly do. So, a bit of guilt, sure but overwhelming guilt that leads Ryan to shoot John, no way. I just felt like having Ryan so fully go bonkers at the end was not just inconsistent, but an easy out. Too easy. Finally, I felt that something the story kept hinting at, sometimes more than hinting, and something that might have been quite interesting, was at the end of the story, simply abandonedThis has to do with a possible weskness of Stitch. Ryan keeps saying "I feel like we're close" and at one point he says "Everything has a weakness" Yet in the end, this went nowhere and was left unresolved. One thing I liked very much was the length. I very much prefer these longer stories to short ones. I'm not claiming all people feel this way, or that one is "better" than the other. I'm only saying that I, as one fan of creepypastas, prefer longer stories like what you've written here. OK then, that's my feedback. I sincerely hope you will keep writing for many years to come. I am also being honest when I say that I personally could NOT have written a better story. I'm simply sharing some of my thoughts with you. If I did not think you had talent or I believed that you lacked the ability to improve, I would not have taken the time to give you this feedback. I look forward to listening to more of your stories in the future.
Cool concept. Good narration. Good job, CGS. But I really think writers need to research police procedure before writing about it. And the Mack truck ending.... nuh-uh. Unfulfilling.
Okay liking the story but what kind of cop has a guy he met on the internet be his bait, when there is no backup anywhere near the guy. No cops parked outside, if the plan was to catch him how did they plan to accomplish that with one random dude that hell didn't even have a gun or more importantly backup! That's so frustrating, but yeah I'll admit it's still a creepy story and Creepypasta doesn't disappoint. The only thing I find disappointing is the actions of the "best" cop in their department.
Now I am scared (the hand through monitor thing just happened) and I worry they can't stop it and I am about to die now. 🤣 Thank's it's great, you did an awesome job!
I love that you actually mix in some "extreme horror" in your narrations! Not a lot of horror narrators on RUclips do that anymore...I'm glad you still do!
What’s extreme horror?
Yes! I need more extreme horror
@@hadesisbaby not soft, bubble gum & lollipops type horror, we’re looking for r rated/ more extreme horror
@hadesisbaby look up "splatterpunk"
@@shanehorrox2047 splatterpunk 😉
I think this detective overrates himself considerably by saying he's the best in his department. Nothing like not even bothering to check on his partner for days and days.
Maybe it's just an especially shitty department
ennit lol agreed
A lot of people do it just think about how many people you know who claim to be excellent drivers yet they get in an accident every few years.
@@Justme42yay OMG yes! And they're usually just as bad the rest of the time. They think they're good drivers because they can do other stuff while driving. LOL
@@earndoggy oh and I am an amazing driver lol
Now these 2 cops are gonna take a civilian and use him as stitch bait. Oh never mind he told him not to be afraid anymore so it'll be alright now
Typical cop move, amirite?
✌😗👌 yisssssssss
This is in my top 3 best stories I can listen to and enjoy more than once. . I haven't heard it in over a year. It popped up in my notifications and I was so excited. I made some food, did the shower got pajamas on made some coffee and knew my Sunday night was going to be great. Little smoke , recliner , lights out and THANK YOU .....I WAS IN THE ZONE. YOUR VOICE AND THE EMOTION PUT INTO IT.....TRUELY A MASTER STORY TELLER !!!!
20:16 "my palms were sweaty"
KNEES WEAK ARMS WERE HEAVY
I thought that exact same thing
Same here
VOMINT ON MY SWEATER ALREADY- like my mind is skipping whenever he mentions it
MOMS SPAGHETTI
@@joe8405 winner
"Stitch takes his victims straight to Hell"
"LeTs uSe a kId aS bAiT"
Hahaha
😂😂😂😂
Lol that shit was pretty stupid
Let’s use Trump as bait
@@warrengray6376 hell yeh
"My window keeps opening while I'm asleep. Maybe it's a squirrel!"
…
What!?
Lol
Yours doesn’t??
That's just absurd...it's obviously the WIND. XD
@@daneyal7162 Nah, nah, it was clearly a pocket of swamp gas unexpectedly catching fire in exactly the right spot and moment to open the window in the middle of Seattle.
These longer stories are fantastic! You must be exhausted with the content you've been creating, but we are loving it and appreciate your hard work. This particular story was a lot more gory than I normally like. The concept and your voice kept me pegged, though. Great work CGS! Thanks for keeping us all "sane" during this insane time. I work in one of the critical infrastructure industries and need the brief distraction that your stories bring. Thank you for keeping us grounded :)
Sane!!? This is some scary mind breaking shit!
Nothing like a good long story from CGS, a couple of cold beers, and hot pizza, after a long day of work, for some of us essential workers, Thanks CSG, you are a well needed break 🍺🍺,Cheers my man..👍👍💯
Awesome way to spend the evening. I am doing exactly the same only a year later. Large pepperoni and
Fresh garlic pizza . Ice cold Coors light and over 2 hours long CGS. This is
The life 😃🌹💕
@@LuisaD93 💯💯💯💯
Same here. After a full day of Karen's and fake smiles. This truly help me end my day. My favorite narrator 💯💯💯✌
Long time since I saw someone narrate this creepypasta.
Good job as always
Good 1
This was really slow n stupid, I couldn't listen to it till the end, but I hope the cops died a painful fearful deaths
@@andrewschoultz8899 Obvious troll is obvious.
Little did he know, the “Seattle’s Greatest Detective” coffee mug proudly displayed on his desk was an ironic gag gift from his fellow officers.
Well he took it to his head.
Lmao probably
John: A top of class Harvard graduate seeks work as a law enforcement intern.
Seems legit.
So much for hardened detectives even before everything got spoopy they couldnt even get past the first crime scene picture 😂.
Also they used a kid, a kid? And had no backup protecting the kid they used as bait 😂😂
Also I like how AFTER the are being tracked they make no logical choices like call for backup or call the cops about the murder scene they stumble at Ana's house. Because it just looks like they went straight to a murder scene without any delay
Lol sound funny
Honestly i am tired and
Bored to death of the creature that
Seem like it can't be killed
Yeah they use a kid as bait. Just like real life narcotics detectives. Real shit.
@@bongwelll sad really
He is also more bothered by a dream than real horrors he has seen.
He contradicts himself (he said he checked up on his partner but then describes his arrival there later as his first).
He first gets a kid to lure the creature just like that and then wonders where the creature dwells - as if he completely forgot evidence suggests anyone can attract it at random (which I thought was a longshot when he came up with it, but actually worked).
I bet the list is even longer. This story makes me feel like kicking the protagonist in the shins.
I can always count on you to drop a great long story a few times a month. My favorite thing is to put on a long story of yours while I commute to work my guy. Thank you for your consistency.
Thanks for keeping me entertained while prepping distance learning lectures!
FINALLY! I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS STORY TO GET A BETTER NARRATION!
Thanks for uploading long videos during these hard times, Ur probably one of the only Creepypasta narrator’s who upload long videos
This and viidiith22 he recently did a 20 hour one the other day!
@@XxCherylCravenXx woah, A 20 hour??? what is it called? I couldn't find it
Dr creepen does a few long ones too but its hard to find hour long stuff read by a good narrator
The stupidity in this pasta... Thanks for the reading though! 😍
How was it stupid? I thought it was creepy.
@@SariennMusic73 I would grow older if I had to go through the reasons! You can go through some comments instead. What is important is that you enjoyed it, so leave it at that for best measures.
@@SariennMusic73 I think the writer tried too hard about that internet research part.
@@SariennMusic73 for the best detectives they literally let some random person from reddit ge intentionally killed. The list goes on
@@SariennMusic73 It also violated Chekhov's gun.
Mostly in regards to the part when he talks about the creature needing to have a normal identity, and it taking the place of his father in his dreams.
Super crazy! Im bewildered you inspire me so much!
I really enjoy your body of work. It differs from a lot of the other people on here. love your voice as well. Very calming. Thanks for all the hard work.💚💜💚
Fifth time listening to this.. and it gets better EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!
1:16:30 ...Do you have more unfortunate souls you would like play this pathetic game?..."
me: Poor unfortunate souls
in pain, in need. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl and do I help them? Yes, indeed, those poor unfortunate souls so sad, so true they come flocking to my cauldron crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!" And I help them? Yes, I do
Bruh i thought the same lol
E
Awesome story! I love the longer stories, and thank you for all the hard work you put into this. Your voice is so awesome to listen to, perfect for these stories.
Stay safe and healthy!!
You really do deserve more subscribers and views, this story is bone chilling
I was so happy to see this on my notifications. I listened to it when it was first posted ages ago and loved it. Can't wait to listen to it again
I've listened to this one before. Your voice fits this particular story better. Good work.
Bravo!! Haven't gotten freaked out in a while but this one got me in places..thanks for all your hard work!
This is like some of the first hell raiser movies before they got cheesey as hell
SHUT UP IM reporting you
YEAHHHHHHHHH 3 HOURS YOURE THE BEST. SUNSHINE IN TEXAS AND YOUR BOOK S79 WERE MY FAVORITES. YOU ROCK!
I really love this story, but just some of the cop’s actions don’t seem like a real one would do. Such as them deciding to live together, even for safety (They’d be seen as involved, even if not true) not reporting windows opening or thumping in their homes where it’s more than obvious the creature has already picked them for a target, and getting takeaway food when the crime scene files would be left in his car and could be stolen, Anna missing for a week and a half and no cops were investigating her disappearance. Her own partner didn’t even check on her for days. It started off so good and creepy, but just devolved into a standard monster story. Very disappointing.
Since EVERYONE ELSE is Happy With This Story and Telling -
I Wonder How Many Time's You Must Have Had to Go Back to Listen, to Be Able to Pick it Apart..!!??
** Now:
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
@@rtempest12 people are allowed to critize dumb writing. It's how writers are supposed to improve, that's artistry 101. Get over it.
WOW!!!!
This was an absolutely awesome story!!!! I like the shorter stories pretty good I LOVE these longer stories better I get so emersed and invested your are an EPIC story teller thank you for working hard just to entertain me!!!!
Who else _could not stop_ imagining Stitch from Lilo and Stitch??
I am disappointed that this wasnt casefile 626
@@rasmuskp93 ** _I N C O M I N G D I S N E Y C O P Y R I G H T S T R I K E_ **
I kept picturing Stitch from WoW lol
Jaded and Empty I love how the story just draws you in, ain’t nothing like some good herbs a dark room and a great imagination
Clicked for that reason and now i am leaving haha
This should be a movie...Amazing work CGS!!!
Not the Stairs in the Woods..!! 😱
I Missed This Öne 3yrs Ago..!! Glad to Listen to it Because it's Horrific.. Job Well Done 👾👻..!! 😮
Thank's.. From 👾 In Ont, 🇨🇦
I have listened to a lot of narrators and creepy pastas read and I have to say that I am really starting to like your narrations over some of the others!!! keep up the good work bro and get that 100k soon!!! cant wait to hear more!!!
I just finished part 1 and I'm entranced already. So far this is one twisted story !!!! Someone has one Hell of an imagination.
I haven't listen 2 the story yet, but u never disappoint. Thanks 4 the vids!!
Such a long story! You're too kind! Your hard work is much appreciated!
THIS WAS SOOOO BRILLIANT
BEST STORY & NARRATION IVE HEARD FOR YEARS
THANK YOU CGS 👧🇬🇧
The case of stich is now my all time favorite story. I got chills
i was searching for this story for a long time. heard long time ago.CGS you are the GOAT!
TOP OF THE LINE WRITING !
X'CELLENT ! ONE THE BEST STORIES OUT THERE.
Simple PERFECTION on the narration (as usual)😁
One of the best naration of this pretty sweet creepypasta
Damn this one is crazy, I haven't actually been afraid or this on edge and emersed in a creepy pasta in forever! Thanks CGS, great job!
wow! this is most insane story i've ever heard and you told it so completely and it actually freaked me out! I was actually dreading what might be in my closet and trying to not be scared. i even had a scented candle lit and freaked out that I had to blow it out! It's been a long time since i felt that coincidentally freaked out!!! Thank you
Boy I definitely have never heard this story before and love it!! Not that I can't believe it but this creature sounds a lot like the Disney Stich just a darker side!! Love it!!
Awesome work man!
Two and a half hours!
Thank you CGS :)
"Kid shut the fuck up" was the best part
Been a fan for years here’s to the road to 200k subs 😎
Awesome story... you know I love the long ones and your narrations make them wonderful. I don't take a break... I have to listen all the way through no matter how long. 🙂👍✌️
MORE STORYS LIKE THESE PLZ👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 it was EPIC!
Pretty gory! Great story buddy. Ty
Wow omg you’re narration was so descriptive I love it new subscriber!!!
‘The booth, the booth is on fiiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaah!’
What a great story a ton of. GORE a little suspense keep on doing your thing...👍
If it wasnt for some amazing yarns and one of my few fave channels like this awesome one my days would feel so lost! I look forward to listening throughout my work shift all day 😁
There needs to be a second chapter to this story !
I liked that this was nice and long, but felt cheated at the end. I would have liked a more developed end that talked more into Stiches weakness.
Thanks for the break in the quarantine.
So I'm just gonna say this. My name is Ryan. So this story took it to another level for me
Obsidian Blade87 ouch! I would be scared 😧
I shit my pants! The story was creepy too.
Listened to this at night whilst camping I wanted to bury myself
I don't understand how he thought they would be able to arrest Stitch. It really doesn't make a lot of sense. People are pretty matter of fact about people being ripped in half and eaten.
Had to jump back to a classic pasta and it still trips me out to this day
Outstanding!!!
This was an excellent story. It would make a really really good movie
And if it's not killers and occult it's suicide due to S.A.D.D. (Seasonal Affective Depression Disorder) it's caused from a lack of vitamin D because the sun seldom shines or breaks through the rain clouds it's crazy
fantastic narration CGS ty sir
That is one brilliant badass squirrel. I know Squirrels in Bama cannot open windows. Not even the big fox Squirrels. Hahaha
Oh shit, I remember this story doing the rounds yours ago! It's nice to see an old classic getting some attention.
edit: years ago.
Facts I had to come back
Found my new favorite narrator
Bravo!! CGS you did a Amazing Job this story was the bomb!!
Playing Catch Up, loving this one... The Camper was awesome. Hope all's well Bro.
Love this story one of my favorites
My oh my this story was pretty graphic in the details. I got lots of whole body goose chills listening to it!😨🤤😨😲
As soon as the third victim mentioned her corgi puppy, I was like, "..oh shit"
Awesome story... i definitely enjoyed it....
Honestly, _loved_ the narration as always.
😥I'm just not a fan of the story, made it up to 1:31:32. I _tried._
A 'like' for the video, as a ton of hard work went into this.
Everyone enjoy, this guy is amazing. Catch you on the next one 🤗🥂
Same
@@mackenziebunch152 Did you get very far?
@@Digitalhunny i got to about where u were, i liked it, it just got kinda dry, yknow?
I thought it was just me! I ended up giving in a bit aftee the kid died. The villain was much more disturbing and effective when he wasn't talking bullshit.
@@BlaqueCzar - Sometimes talking too much & over describing things are what _really_ kill a possibly great story. Longer ain't _always_ better... well when it comes to stories 😂😂😂
Just listened again after a few years. Wow. Such an impact.
Heavy shit.
good reading! story started of really good actually but then it felt like the writer lost intrest and in the end it felt like he just wanted to be finished with it. but im a sucker for these longer writings
My new favorite creepypasta
This one’s a classic!
Thanks you rock.
1:25:00 Children Of Bodom ❤🤘 RIP Alexi
I was born in Washington raised in Oregon and matured in California I love the Pacific Northwest but yes spooky and serial killer central lol
I enjoyed it. Not perfect but a good distraction from my typical day of b.s. I look forward to more like this.
I haveent Ben this scared by a creepypasta in a long time
Thanks alot for the stories
Love the long stories
That was amazing I loved every minute of it👏👏👏👏
Thank You!
Bravo to the writer. Good and scary . To the ones that say he doesn't act like a real dic, Its all like a dream state. Nothing is real. You read well,I enjoy listening to you read.
1:15:25 A youtubers wet dream. Grabbing a commenter by the neck.
OK, great narration but like others, I also have a number of issues throughout with the story itself. Others here have already commented on these adequately -
so I will not rehash those except to say that I am in basic agreement with those criticisms- though I might not have been as harsh as a few were. Still, as an author of this genre you know when you put yourself out there, people are going to let you know how they feel and you as an author need to have a thick skin. If you can understand the criticisms made by others here, it provides a roadmap for you to quickly improve your skills as a writer.
To be fair, I could not have written a story this well. So I certainly hope you will continue to write such stories for many years to come.
My main issue, like others, was that Ryan did not always act in ways that were consistent with the initial development of hid charater. Sometimes, such inconsistencies can be a useful tool to employ but only when they are fully planned out.
It was the ending, that I was most disappointed with. For Ryan to shoot John was a twist that was completely inconsistent with Ryan's character devopment. While he might have understandsbly felt some tinge of guilt, Ryan would never have been so overwhelmed with it, that he would done something as irrational as shoot John. Ryan, if he had really risen to the top of the detective force by being intellligent, wise (there's a distinct difference between the two), experienced & dedicated would never blame himself so thoroughly for John involvement. John was an adult. He joined law enforcement of his own free will. He could have bailed at any time. Ryan was not the person who assigned John to the cade, Ryan did not force anything on John that John didn't willingly do. So, a bit of guilt, sure but overwhelming guilt that leads Ryan to shoot John, no way. I just felt like having Ryan so fully go bonkers at the end was not just inconsistent, but an easy out. Too easy.
Finally, I felt that something the story kept hinting at, sometimes more than hinting, and something that might have been quite interesting, was at the end of the story, simply abandonedThis has to do with a possible weskness of Stitch. Ryan keeps saying "I feel like we're close" and at one point he says "Everything has a weakness" Yet in the end, this went nowhere and was left unresolved.
One thing I liked very much was the length. I very much prefer these longer stories to short ones. I'm not claiming all people feel this way, or that one is "better" than the other. I'm only saying that I, as one fan of creepypastas, prefer longer stories like what you've written here.
OK then, that's my feedback.
I sincerely hope you will keep writing for many years to come. I am also being honest when I say that I personally could NOT have written a better story. I'm simply sharing some of my thoughts with you. If I did not think you had talent or I believed that you lacked the ability to improve, I would not have taken the time to give you this feedback.
I look forward to listening to more of your stories in the future.
Anyone willing to put hours and hours in to single videos definitely deserves a like and a sub. Done.
Hi
Cool concept. Good narration. Good job, CGS.
But I really think writers need to research police procedure before writing about it. And the Mack truck ending.... nuh-uh. Unfulfilling.
Almost 100K subs!!!!
My 1st time here...I like your story's...I fall asleep listening to them...
🐳🌺🌴🤙
☠👻👽
Okay liking the story but what kind of cop has a guy he met on the internet be his bait, when there is no backup anywhere near the guy. No cops parked outside, if the plan was to catch him how did they plan to accomplish that with one random dude that hell didn't even have a gun or more importantly backup! That's so frustrating, but yeah I'll admit it's still a creepy story and Creepypasta doesn't disappoint. The only thing I find disappointing is the actions of the "best" cop in their department.
Now I am scared (the hand through monitor thing just happened) and I worry they can't stop it and I am about to die now. 🤣
Thank's it's great, you did an awesome job!
Love it keep it up