My Chronic Pain is Worse Than Yours.

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  • Опубликовано: 21 фев 2024
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    The pain compression game in the chronic illness world is not helpful. Everyone has pain, and everyone's pain is valid.
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Комментарии • 27

  • @amber3574
    @amber3574 4 месяца назад +12

    It’s not a competition. We need to have empathy for one another. I have a hard time when my husband gets a cold because he acts like he’s dying but I feel like that all the time and he has zero compassion for me ever. It hurts my feelings and I get resentful. I don’t believe that’s the right way for me to handle the situation but the temptation is always there. It’s hard being regularly invalidated but then expected to be validating everyone else’s issues. I want to do better but if I’m honest I’m not handling it as well as I believe I should.

    • @YTStoleMyUsername
      @YTStoleMyUsername 4 месяца назад +2

      EXACTLY! I definitely feel you on that one. Whenever my partner gets sick or injured, he is very vocal about it and it's the end of the world. Yet if I tell him maybe he should go to the doctor, no, he doesn't need to. But I suffer in silence daily in various levels and aspects of pain and only reveal what I'm going through if it gets really bad and I'm really incapacitated. Then he's just kinda annoyed that I'm not able to do what I normally do. It's so frustrating.
      But yeah I get what she's saying about competing for who has it worse. I remember I had a job many years ago and if I ever got sick or had an injury, one of my former coworkers would come in the next day with a VERY similar illness/injury - and a crazy story behind it. She was kinda a pathological liar, but she was always trying to one-up everyone. I just ignore people like that, I think that's all you can do - just not give them the attention they seek.

    • @Jen84601
      @Jen84601 4 месяца назад +3

      Someone said something that made me realize that it's ok to have those thoughts & feelings. It's how you react on those thoughts & feelings. That seems to help a little. ;)

  • @amandalininger1616
    @amandalininger1616 4 месяца назад +2

    SO perfectly said, Amy. This was the best video! We are all in different places, and we all deal with things differently. What we need instead of comparison is compassion for one another, no matter what the person is going through. I know I always say this, but you are such a wise young lady, Amy! God bless you, and you are in my prayers 🙏. God bless everyone in this forum, and I'm sorry that we are all dealing with something.

  • @sabinamaria
    @sabinamaria 4 месяца назад +4

    I love that you made this! I feel we are all guilty of this one way or another. Even though I have never said it out loud, I am not any less guilty for feeling it in my heart. Every single person goes through trials. And we know chronic illnesses (the same illnesses included) have spectrums. So, yes, there are severties, but on every end of the spectrum we are suffering. We need to love and uplift one another. And, I am so blessed you Miss Aimee are doing so in this community!! Know that your suffering is real and valid no matter what others say and that you are shining a postive light in this dark world!!

  • @ruby3200
    @ruby3200 4 месяца назад +7

    This was the perfect video for me this week! We definitely can’t control what our pain threshold is. So even if someone’s pain is not as severe, it might be for them due to their different pain threshold.
    I do this to myself. I compare myself to myself.😂 The other day I sat up for over an hour while friends were over. I’ve been beating myself up for it saying I shouldn’t have done that, but then also confused because I didn’t know how I could tolerate sitting up so long. So then I question: am I getting better? Am I not that sick? Is it not that bad? Sometimes the up and down of severity can be harder for me than the constant severity both mentally and physically. Each severity has its own struggles. I think we compare ourselves to ourselves and others because we are constantly told by society especially doctors that “it’s not that bad”, so right from the beginning the comparison starts. I think we seek validation for our suffering not only from others, but from ourselves. I STRUGGLE when my family complains when they are sick, I’m working on it…😑
    I also want to apologize if I’ve ever compared myself to your own struggles Aimee,it’s not okay and isn’t fair. I don’t know what you are going through. 😊
    Thanks again, your videos are always so helpful.❤

  • @AprilLeighchronicallyme
    @AprilLeighchronicallyme 4 месяца назад +5

    This is how I feel about cures and treatments!! There is not one way to live or heal chronic illness. We have to live in the way we want and treat in the way we want and we all hate being sick and no one or better or less than the other.

  • @kellygirl912
    @kellygirl912 4 месяца назад +2

    I have a friend who always “out does” my health, my autoimmune, my pain, my fatigue. I just refuse to tell her how I am anymore unless she tells me how she is first.

    • @amandalininger1616
      @amandalininger1616 4 месяца назад +1

      I had a bff for 12 years that did that, and crossed over other boundaries too, like making fun of my love and belief and walk with Jesus, and I had to release her. We don't talk, but I have forgiven her.

  • @mischelepentz3613
    @mischelepentz3613 4 месяца назад +1

    Some of it comes down to priorities. Those of us with chronic pain don’t have the bandwidth to do as much. So I look at you cleaning and creating RUclips videos and think “I couldn’t do that”. But I may have made different life choices. I live alone and work a demanding full time job. When I get home, I crash. None of us can do it all. We are all in different places in our life journey. Doesn’t mean one of us has it harder, just that we have made different life choices.
    I enjoy gleaning tips from various chronic illnesses videos including yours. And I think one of the things that really appeals about your videos is the mindset. It is refreshing to see someone else working through illness and doing the best that they can.

  • @amyschmier8090
    @amyschmier8090 4 месяца назад +6

    This was an amazing truthful accurate video. Well done! Also you looked so beautiful today.😊

  • @cff7251
    @cff7251 4 месяца назад +3

    you’re a spiritual person, there’s a scripture that says “let each one show what his own work is and not in comparison to the other person” theres two others. you have a great point. i tend to compare by thinking I’m not doing enough. i think wow, so-and-so is stronger than i am. I’m weak. it’s still comparing. it’s such a bad habit. yet we all do it. we’re imperfect. i see you as a person i can look up to and see where i can make improvements in my life. the first video i ever saw of you was the five minutes rule. such an awesome suggestion.

  • @user-jl2mg1ei4x
    @user-jl2mg1ei4x 4 месяца назад +1

    One of the most difficult things to do is to share my pain or how quickly I may feel sick. My chronic illness became more understandable to my family and friends when my home camera caught me fainting while standing and laughing/speaking with my husband. Until that moment, I didn’t realize how much I need someone present with me most of the time. Until your flares, fatigue, incident and pain is witnessed it’s unfortunate but others don’t get it. We have to be content with the fact that invisible handicaps and illnesses are simply not understood by others and keep it moving. 💃🏽🧘🏽‍♀️

  • @kellygirl912
    @kellygirl912 4 месяца назад +1

    Everyone experiences pain differently. Some can handle it better than others. I am unable to work while many are till
    Able bodied enough to do it. I have a lot of empathy for them; it has to be hard.

  • @rebeccahesser8057
    @rebeccahesser8057 4 месяца назад +2

    You make the choice to feel that your pain is worse than anything you can do. I get up and TRY to make the most of everyday. I smile for my daughter and my partner and do what house work I can. But I smile every opportunity I get no matter how I feel. It’s all a choice. Yes I have really bad days that I don’t move from being curled up on the couch. But if you let it take you over you are gonna feel crappy sick or not.

  • @jamesmcconnell2473
    @jamesmcconnell2473 3 месяца назад

    For something big coming up. Like gardening or a long outing. Noni juice before you go out the door.

  • @Catlily5
    @Catlily5 3 месяца назад

    One thing people often forget is mental pain. People with perfect looking lives can be in a lot of mental pain. Like a Hollywood star who is a drug addict. Their life looks wonderful but it is not. I really think that you never know how bad or good someone has it. Looking from the outside you can't see the mental or often even the physical pain someone is in. We can guess.
    Jealousy is natural at times. I try to feel it and let it pass. When you hold onto jealousy it becomes a problem.
    It is hard to be chronically sick.
    But other people may be facing hardships we don't know about.

  • @tt_looking_glass
    @tt_looking_glass 4 месяца назад

    It’s not the amount of pain that matters (for the exact reason you mentioned, different tolerances) but how it affects your life and your ability to do things that matters. Those comments are often a reflection of people being frustrated with their current situation.

  • @cathie-aussiegirl6547
    @cathie-aussiegirl6547 4 месяца назад +1

    Excellent video and advice Aimee

  • @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear
    @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear 4 месяца назад

    " dim lit hit the bright button. " now I carry ons w/ this & ask the closest A^I entity; as b4 . "

  • @nelva3771
    @nelva3771 4 месяца назад +2

    I have SCD and the pain Olympics is the wildest thing I’ve heard. So we comparing pain trauma?😂 is this what our lives have come to? Or when the doctors compare our pain the that of bone cancer patients… its not the same! And you Dr.! Have had neither!

    • @cindisims5917
      @cindisims5917 4 месяца назад

      My doctor said to me that getting shot by a gun was worse pain than any pain I was feeling.

  • @jamesmcconnell2473
    @jamesmcconnell2473 3 месяца назад

    Strategy's for fatigue #1 goji berry bout a week . If that doesn't work cordicepts one month. 3 mg. Melatonin one week no higher dose it doesn't work doing that. Honestly Aimee stomach and headaches is kinda beyond what is average FM. If you're allowed 4 hours of daily activities before you turn into a pumpkin ? 3 mg. Melatonin at bedtime can turn your 4 hours into 8 . Wow congratulations your channel is kinda singular. Amazing your building karma

  • @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear
    @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear 4 месяца назад

    my eyes are weakened in the dim liite half bacck lit key pad. I tied to experience everything and learn pain , Now Icarry is carry ons with this, and asking the cough a.i. nearest entity as before. I hope I spelled my best my eyes are not proof reading.

  • @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear
    @ThatOldBlackMagic_YouAppear 4 месяца назад

    not the S

  • @ABDR4
    @ABDR4 4 месяца назад +1

    It's actually not that hard to act like a human. Then again you are too young to know that.