@@TheKrispyfortthat's also what I thought but I still don't think that this is enough to change someone because they easily obtain these very important informations without any consequences or they simply cannot relate to what is being said. Sorry for the absolute trash grammar I'm still learning English.
@@asdsafddfshgosas2662 well duh, that's obvious, you can't change someone else, the only way for another person to change is they have to want to change themselves and make the effort
Thank you for including "just try damn it", i spent 13 years trying to become an engineer and it's finally happening. I graduate this summer and start work. I was told I would never make it in the military. I served in the Army for 8 years and that's how i funded my education. Seriously people, just try. You're a lot stronger and smarter than a lot of bad people want you to realize.
Was the Just try part also for the talking to women part? Also I'm confused about what he means? Like I don't want sex but he is saying to just approach women and state something? ...I'd assume you have to talk about other things first...have social skills and introduce myself? All this before just blurring out something about jeez I don't even know what he wants u to say. That I find u beautiful and would love to ___? Idk...he over estimates how little I know... I was forced to be a late bloomer so I need a little more help then the average Joe figuring this part out. Any help?
@@bentravis777You’re overcomplicating it. Just try talking to a woman. That’s it. It will either go bad or good or neither. Just try and you are already ahead of where you were before.
Congrats man! I've tried for 6 years at this moment and I'm working as a phone agent to fund my education, I hate my work, but I hope it gives some results.
As a woman, I found this video useful to understand men a little better. I also learned some stuff for myself. Like, yeah. I do complain too much. It's how I process things, but I realize I do it a lot, and I gotta work on that. Also: nothing is hotter than a man who is emotionally mature and supportive, imo.
@@JohnStockton7459 I don't find wealth or fame attractive in itself. Wealth often equals way too busy or disconnected from the world (maybe not always, but that's how it looks from my eyes). As for fame, I'd rather not be seen by millions of strangers for being so-and-so's gf or ex. I like my privacy. So, to each their own, but it's not a universal opinion. Hence the "imo" in my post. I can't speak for all women, my post is from my perspective.
I'm pushing 29 this spring, but I don't think My younger self would have listened you with this mindset I have built up recently. All it took was a harsh break-up and I needed to value life a little better. I started working out finally in My life, I have been obese for the better part of 13 years and at My highest peak at the moment. I still consider myself "young" and best of all, motivated. Left my shitty Job and applied for school, got to school at the start of this year, hitting the gym and focusing better on what shit I'm stuffing through my mouth. I randomly saw one of your experimental videos with public anxiety, wich I can't relate to, but ever since have been watching you and listened to all the pods? I love you Mark and I thank you for all the inspiring words that you share and you give a nice grasp on life, of how to lack a little shit to give. Thank you ❤
Life's hard man, but we owe it to ourselves and the people around us to do the best we can. I don't know you, but I'm glad you are making positive changes.
Keep it up man, one day fulfilment will be a past time for all of us. When you go to gym look to your left, look to your right and see that we all came from a nest. Spread your wings and fly.
I like opinion I just heard, Jaroslav Dušek (not in english) said he is inspired by various books and techniques, useful ideas. He said our biggest mistake as humans is that we separate people in two groups good person, bad person..... In past they had better approach, because in ancient times they learned another approach in some healthier civilisations. They separated people in two groups "mature" and yet "immature"....or unexperienced. which means they know the person will get mature in the future learning new things, and that at some point they will self-reflect and experiment with various ideas and learn new experiences. They were not so judgmental putting the guy in category "bad guy" or "bad woman" but immature man, immature woman.... It wasn´t such harsh approach toward them it was meant well I think you are yet immature, but its not a form of judgment... You will grow as does everybody in community....... He said: Attention is greatest form of manipualtion.... You say this is good guy, this is bad guy...to attract attention from people etc It seems to me today men are told to not experiment with ideas, someone want´s men to stay in the same mindset, and never grow, never change, never learn new ideas, and men shouldn´t allow others to tell them how to think and not upgrade their mindset in positive way or not read philosophical books etc. Or learn something about emotional state of mind... Because companies may easily manipulate immature guy, but he isn´t immature because he chose to be immature, but because someone is manipulating him. Maybe the companies and capitalism profit from people´s weakness so they want to brainwash them to never grow.
Great video and solid advice, but the environment you live in is also an important factor. Most young people aren't valued by older folk so how can they value themselves? A big percentage of families nowadays are broken and have ruined the younger generations. The dating landscape is absolutely horrible. The social life is non existent for many. Basically the older generations, women, even our own generations none value us so how can we value ourselves? We have given up like a gazelle among lions, cause if we try to do anything we will get cut down and it is better to just be quiet doing our minimum pay job with a high rent apartment box and distract ourselves with entertainment. We saw the generation that is above 30 now do try and fail many times and they are miserable, in dept, lost their companies and jobs, divorced, ruined their kids, drug addicts, absolute mess, so why should we try is that's the result? We were told to work hard cause that will give us good jobs what will give us good life but we worked hard and got nothing, even worse than nothing, we lost ourselves and our future with it - in terms of our psychological and physical health. In the end everyone will be fucked cause of the society's flawed ideologies.
Dude what💀 go outside. If you stopped only living online and had a social life you would probably realise the world isn’t fucked like everyone says on the internet.
@@BananaSoupProjects 99% of your thoughts aren't true, life can surprise you in many ways and all you can do is try man. I hope you have a good day and good things come your way and feel like you need to vent this to someone, they are valid thoughts just won't help you succeed (I know this as they stopped me trying for years). All the best man
Thank you, Mark❤ I'm a 54 year-old mother of a 29-year old son who goes through a bit of rough pach of his life, I see this fantastic summary of advise that I couldn't put together by myself! I just sent this message to my son. First, you helped me with your book years ago and now defnitely my son... you are f-ing awesome😎 Thank you again, Mark!❤
Love the message, Mark. As a child-free woman, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat. I have to prove my value as I've chosen to forgo an expectation of my gender. More men, young and old, need to hear words of support that will guide them to be better rounded people and not just chase the clout.
Interesting! I am in my 30s and Child free by choice, and have never felt this way. I am wondering if it’s because I have chosen to not have Vs haven’t had the opportunity and always wanted them? It could be other factors as well. I find your comment very interesting how there can be a completely opposite experience internally to a similar outcome.
Practically, when a man has somebody to care about and knows that this very person cares about him too, not even in exchange for his care, but just acknowledges and supports him anytime and anyhow, always differently It does make a huge difference and gives a sense of purpose for a man It is sort of coming, probably, from the old times when people were hunting and exchanging each other, for example, mother was collecting shrooms and berries, while father was hunting and bringing meat, combining was nice, or when someone got sick and other person took care of the sick one Just considering how in recent world more and more men struggle to even approach somebody, clearly they don’t have that feeling of a purpose, even if it isn’t their purpose to make a family or smth like that Like, getting rich, fit and healthy isn’t quite the purposes of whole lives Like, you subconsciously ask yourself, if, “when I achieve those, for what or for who? Was it even needed, if nobody gives two damns about me in this world?” So yeah, every man needs a supportive person, At least one, with which I agree with you
@@MNP208 no, but I am Christian. I just never felt a longing to have any. During my marriage I thought if they happened they happened, but we definitely weren’t trying for them. I have never regretted it. I like going on vacations and having lots of free time to spend doing things with my partner.
I feel the same now that my son is grown and has his own life. I find myself in a lot of videos geared towards young men figuring their lives out and like I am going through this whole thing now that other people went through in their 20's. It's taken a few years to "find myself" and create a new sense of worth now that I am not living for the purpose of a child.
00:00 🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society. 00:58 💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts all aspects of your life. 02:52 🕰 Value in a man compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gratification. 03:51 💡 Continuously educate yourself beyond formal schooling, focusing on life skills and emotional health. 06:10 🚫 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others. 07:41 🔄 Build self-awareness by understanding your motivations, fears, and behavioral patterns. 08:12 💪 Seize the opportunities and freedoms available today by taking action and continually pushing yourself to grow.
lol I burst into tears at "just try". It definitely sometimes feels like trying is nowhere near enough, this is a nice reminder that trying is all you really can do. I love Ted Roosevelet's idea of the man in the arena. Thanks for this, and many other lessons Mark. Will be returning to this one periodically.
Great wisdom. Wish you had talked about overstimulation. The cycle can steal years from you. Try being bored and you might raise your curiosity, which makes you try and explore stuff
Boundries are the only way. You have to impose restrictions on yourself by limiting your consumption of content; youtube, spcial media, tv, games, busy work, etc. You have to purposely induce boredom. Sit with yourself and meditate. Go for a walk without music or podcast. Emptiness. Go for a relaxing drive with the radio off. Don't pick up your phone when you're waiting in line at the pharmacy or when you're on the toilet. Sit on your bed with a pen and paper. Write anything thag comes to mind. Make any of these a part of every day to some degree. Your creativity will begin to blossom, you'll start having important epiphanies about what to do with your life, etc.
Start using the tool Screen Time. Then just act like normal for a week and see what your average screen time was. Then set a realistic goal for next week, let's say 30 minutes lower average than the week before. Do this until you are below 3hr per day@@DatNerdyKidd
@@DatNerdyKidd That's a fantastic idea! How did it go? To reduce it: 1) reflect these three questions: - What do you use to stimulate yourself? - How does it feel like, to be overstimulated? - How do you feel, while trying to fall asleep at the end of an overstimulated day? (only useful, if you fall asleep without distracting devices) [ in my case: - activities that lead to overstimulation are videogames, candy, masturbation, shortform content, drugs, music & random videos - low motivation, low energy, no satisfaction, day flew by, feeling apathetic/don't care about the fact that I overstimulate, don't want to stop stimulation, don't want to face all the tasks that I put off till tomorrow. - I typically fall asleep ~5-6 hours later than usual, mostly due to exhaustion, not because I want to stop. While trying to fall asleep, I feel ashamed and useless. If I distract myself with videos until I fall asleep, I don't have to deal with these thoughts :) ] 2) change your environment Your environment influences your actions. You know, what you use for stimulation. What could you do to force limits? (I uninstalled steam, don't bring junk food home, only unlock my phone after inwardly stating my intention & avoid a certain spot on my couch) 3) accept that it's f*cking annoying. I wish this was the path of least resistance, but it's a battle against a seductive enemy that gives you believable, yet empty promises. It does get easier with repetition, but yeah... sorry to tell you. Let me know if you find an easy way though :D Best of luck broski. Wish you success.
I discovered you at 19 and started to binge your books and online content. Now I'm 26. Got my education in check, got a relationship with the most wonderful woman that I couldn't even imagined back then, immensely grew my confidence and emotional maturity and managed to untangle all the emotional baggage and mental health problems that I had. You were and are a big help in that journey. Thanks Mark.
I feel lucky. I’m 20 rn and related to many things Mark has said. I’m already knowledgeable of half of the things he is talking about. I think he forgot to mention for the young people who don’t smoke to never start smoking… Anyway. I feel very lucky to have a supposedly long path ahead of myself, especially that I am studying something related to technology. I rarely workout but I have a decent body for a 6’1. Until present I still didn’t find any girls I’m attracted to… Thank God
As a 25 years old guy, i love your message! I am always on the "improve" path, go to the universiy, have a good paid job, workout alot, eat healty, en try to be better with woman. But sometimes i dont know more where i live for. Your videos helps me alot with my journey, and it confirmed me tht i am on the good way. Thank you for sharing this
Mark u have literally Changed my whole mind and the way I used to think about everything. In the midst of bullshit advices that roams around the internet You'r advice, Opinions are Legit Real life practical things... Thanks for everything.
I’m 20 years old. I finished college last summer and was very excited about the future ahead of me. However, I got submerged into void of doubts and self-destruction (thinking about negative things and moments I’ve experienced throughout my life). I got depressed, A LOT. Now, I started educating myself, going to the gym, stopped smoking. I still have so much to learn about this wonderful world before I leave it. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t give up! NEVER GIVE UP! All of the problems are temporary and you can overcome them with a huge smile on your face. Be proud that you’re able to read this because there’s lots of people who can’t even kill themselves due to their disabilities. Time flies by and so do we, it’s just a small moment of history we live in, and yet it’s our whole life, so let’s just be happy and grateful for what we have! Love you all. Please, take care of yourselves, comrades!
Man, I love this. I’ve been following you for a couple of years but this is the best video ever. Everything a man needs to know, packed into 10 minutes. The world is so much better place with you, Mark! And yeah the new editing / storytelling style rules, one feels.. somehow connected.
I've heard all these principles from other people too, and they have changed my life in ways I'm still very thankful for. Thank you for sharing all of this, Mark.
Thanks Mark, 23 myself. Was going to skip the ad but something told me don't. I am a master in self sabotage right now. Therapy has been something on my mind. Again,I am grateful for your contant. Grateful for finally pushing me over the edge, and thankful for having found you.
Mark, unlike the many many other life coaches I have seen or read I feel you are the only one I can trust. You speak facts and back it up too. Thank you.
You work for 40yrs to have $1m in your retirement, Meanwhile some people are putting just $10k in a meme coin for just few months and now they are multi millionaires. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom..
As a 16 year old, being patient is actually the hardest thing to do but I'm trying upd: as one of the replies adviced I started to meditate and it really helps. If you're struggling with the same thing you should try doing it
I just realised sonething: Depression in men is rising wherever we look. „A woman simply is, a man must become“ is basically saying: men are not worth anything just being themselves, the only worth they have is what they can do for others. Women can just be themselves and are enough. Men apparently always have to do something, provide something, achieve something. And the second you are not doing this anymore, you‘re worthless. This reality is not only immensly unfair but depressing as hell. And we wonder wonder why men are depressed…
I’ve watched a lot of ahit on RUclips. I’ve read a lot of shit in books and everywhere else. Mark is still one of my most favorite straight forward person doing it. Thank you Mark. Please keep up the fantastic work.
In another video a guy commented about his 150 lb friend with a junkyard car and very little money that didnt have any trouble with finding women to have a romantic relationship with. Thats because his self confidence are huge and nothing else.
Are you absolutely sure there was nothing else oversized? Sorry, couldn't resist 😅 But seriously, that friend sounds just like me...except the huge confidence/no trouble finding women bit. Mind you I'm gay, so perhaps not entirely surprising...the latter, obviously...the former less so and a mix of causes...but let's just say some nature, some nurture 😐
I always learn something from your videos Mark, you hold me accountable and help me steer in the right direction. You've done this for me 5 years ago and you continue to do this now, your content has changed my life. Thank you for all the knowlege you share with us
We have two lives, the second only begins when we realize that we have but one. Amazing video, definitely gonna rewatch this periodically to wake tf up
I still remember when you had your blog some 10 years ago or so and you offered some advice about relationship issues I was having. God you've come a long way, I'm so glad to see you up there.
Enough no more motivational videos no more self help videos no more look maxing videos i need to get my life on tracks now there are distraction every where no more phone i'll spend time with my family instead i will listen to BHAGAWAT GEETA audio book i instead thankyou so much mark for making this video ever single word you just said in this video made a huge impact on me i am 18 years old i love your videos and i often watch them but yet i end up scrolling from now i will stop scrolling in internet i hope this fire that i am feeling right now will stay forever
Hi Mark, I just wantied to say you have honestly changed my life for better. Before my ex cheated on me and I developed very low self esteem. Before I had social anxiety then I found a way to embrace it and realise I'm not the problem. After my gf cheated on me it all came back. Why I am so insecure? I messed up the simplest things all the time? Nobody likes me and never will. I started to get into self improvement with watching many self improvement youtubers. You especially stuck out as it wasn't no bs course to sign up to or telling you the same things that every self improvement youtuber tells you to do. Your straight to the point and tell us simple but effective ways of being a better individual. I read your models book and it really took my perspective of dating differently. I become more vulnerable and open with people to build deeper connections without being needy. I realised previously with my ex I was really needy and always looking for approval, so no wonder why she did cheat on me but I am thankful for that experience as without it, I would never of learnt of not being needy. Thank you mark and keep doing what your doing, your fucking awesome.
Hi Lewis! I'm happy for you that you're finding a path that serves you well. You're probably going to find my comment irritating and you're right. Your comment went very well until the end and you're possibly thinking "wtf old boomer dude"? Well, you're right, boomers can be a bit too detail oriented, but you're probably trying to get a good job from one of us. Plus, you're trying to show your skills to the ladies and you're not quite there yet, but you're close. You're possibly thinking I should just mind my own business and you're right. You're on your way Lewis! I wish you prosperity in all you're doing!
@@LifeTheUniverseAndEverything42 Honestly thank you so much for this comment. I know I'm not perfect and nobody is, I still sometimes get anxious talking to people (including girls) but it's practice and failing, practice and failing. Plus when I'm anxious I have to tell myself it's good as it's something I need to work on. Honestly I'd rather listen to someone who knows what there on about, than someone who acts like they do like many people do these days XD.
Well, mate, Very nice knowing that this did help you and the funniest thing about all of this self improvement stuff is that all of the RUclipsrs, who talk about it, they in most cases try to make you feel better, try to “oh yeah, that is true man”, but they aren’t really telling you to do something, which is why a lot of people are couch potatoes, even though they are watching all that stuff, which is basically staying in comfort zone and being afraid of making mistakes, most people thing that self improvement is all about perfecting themselves as best as they could, but no, it means just about the opposite It means consciously trying something by yourself, especially if you don’t like that very something and clearly making lots of mistakes, but with that comes the experience nobody could give you or tell you, because only you with your unique 1 out of all 8+ billion people living, one unique consciousness could experience So it is okay to be anxious while contacting with people as you mentioned you have sometimes, it’ll be gone as you do it and your brain gets used to it Keep pushing, mate!
@@Lewishelps512 Thank You and You're Welcome. I can see by your thought process that you are getting things figured out and that's great! I have been down a similar road and it's not always fun. I used to train people how to use a photocopy machine and told them when the machine didn't do what they wanted it to do "you learn more from things going wrong than from going right, because your frustration will help you to remember the solution" So, the machine didn't do what you want? Try a different way and no, I'm not going to tell you the solution, because when you figure it out, you will be more likely to remember your thought process than me just telling you. But I think you are doing the work to make your life successful and enjoyable, so good on ya dude! (Just try to avoid kicking the machine... your foot will break before the machine does what you want it to) {grin} {And you do now know the difference between "your" and "you're", right?} {Bigger grin}
This was amazing, thank you so much for the no nonsense, nuanced, and (crazily) free content Mark. I discovered you last year and you have been an amazing source of inspiration and knowledge for me.
I always think, that you cant teach me more, but everytime i continue to learn. 15 years avoiding therapy didnt got me anywere, but seeking the help i needed, made me realize all the destructive patterns of myself. Its not easy, but its totally worth it. Thank you for sharing your knowledge for free and be a better example for all people out here!
Love the pro therapy message. Be careful to find the right fit. BetterHelp is a great start but the first therapist is rarely the right therapist. Don't be afraid to switch if you feel stuck; I know finding a local psychologist greatly helped me.
Oh god, I wish I had this video when I was 16. I’ve had to figure out a lot in the last 2-3 years, and after looking back at the people I use to be considered worse than just a year ago and am now held in a higher regard comparatively, the work I’ve put in over the last year is just starting to bear fruit. I didn’t cut out, but stopped feeding into the drama loop cycles that a lot of my old friends fell into. I didn’t cut anyone out, but I stopped engaging in the pointless drama cycles and it’s insane how much you can learn about yourself just by choosing to observe the toxicity of others rather than feed the cycle out of boredom.
i m turning 14, and i know that i m a baby, blablabla. i m kinda struggling as of now, on the other end i m so excited to get "set up" by the age of 16/17 and just live... with what your videos and message(s) helped me a lot. same can i say for music. all your advice i find helpful. not like the others self-improvement youtubers. much love ❤
Hey dude, I'm 18 currently and I'm sure my 14yo me would be proud of me rn. However, don't wait for life to happen. You're not gonna be a diffrent person once you are 16/17. You'll be surprised, you're gonna be the exact same person. So take action, do what makes you happy, try out new things, experience life!
maybe i didn't explain it very well, by "get set up" i meant like do stuff now, so later on i wont have troubles in the most basic stuff like: communication. looks, skills, etc.
7:38 Not trying to excuse this behavior, but perhaps the reason why some men end up letting it out on their peers is because they tried therapy and not only was it too expensive for them, but they subconciously discovered how anti-male therapy is and how it does more harm than good for men. It's not necessarily that they see their peers as therapists, but moreso that they have nowhere else to go and talk about their feelings.
Complaining about the environment to the people you share it with is completely natural. People just want them to see things from their perspective. Nothing wrong with it. Also complaining about people who cause problems is totally justified.
I don't know. It seems to me that this is more of a trend what you are talking about. Go to the gym, be a "high value man". What if you do these and still are confused what your real priorities should be.. and the more you look at how to improve yourself the more stressful it becomes. Why just go to the gym? Why not find a personal trainer and train 3-4 hours a day? Why not work smart and hard 10-16 hours a day? And of course you need 7-8 hours at least of sleep. How do you manage all of that and still have time? I understand that self-improvement is key but where do you draw the line? This contradicts "not giving a f" in many ways too.. idk..
Do you people here in the comment section really think that this dude got it all figured out ? No one knows shit in this universe every human is completly unique every situation moment is completly unique and new what works in this moment will maybe not work in another this guy is just a pro seller like all of them are just to make gains for themselves
I can kinda see where this is coming from but: A: this guy has life experience B: actually no, the human experience is fairly universal C: he's done his research, he's read a many books.
please dont get me wrong guys. just seek advice from people elder to you, like those people whom the internet refers to as boomer. in my life, they have given the best advice despite being boomers on social media. It might differ in othes cases, but do try it out!
Thanks for this Mark. Good advice for older men like myself too. 1. To feel better about how long it took to get here 2. To realize the work continues and 3. To crystallize the idea in such a simple digestible format I will be able to pass on to my son when he is ready to hear it.
The fact that the quote "a woman simply is, but a man must become" was said by a woman actually blew my mind. That this observation was made by a woman is telling; it's been a truism of the "manosphere" for many years, but somehow I doubt even most of the mainstream public figures there actually know its origin, and if they did they'd probably reject that a woman said it. Your book "Models" came in an interesting time. I remember finding it a decade ago, alongside the now defunct "Real Social Dynamics" and Rollo Tomassi's "Rational Male" blog. Some of these guys actually tried to call you out as a charlatan, which I found extremely odd because nothing you ever said in that book was bad: work on yourself, be honest, and learn how to handle rejection. But I guess because you never went the route of intensely criticizing "female nature" the way many of these other folks do, they felt you were being too kind on women or misleading men into believing being themselves was enough, even though that's not what you said at all. It's unfortunate that so many of the guys in that space want to provide actionable advice for men, but do it from a place of hurt and resentment. I completely understand their feelings, but at some point it just stops being productive and simply hurts more than helps.
“A woman simply is…” does not represent what most young women have experienced. Look at the stats on eating disorders, unrealistic and unrelenting beauty standards, etc. Women today are not valued simply because they *might* be physically capable of having children, but for how well they match current cultural standards for beauty, sexual attractiveness, etc. If you did not win the genetic lottery and choose your parents wisely, well 🤷🏼♀️. I think there’s a whole lot of good in Mark’s messages, but that quote from Paglia does not reflect “women” simply because it was said BY a woman, any more than any one man’s opinion speaks for all men. Life is not easy for anyone, but easier for some than others. We all can try to do the best we can with our current context.
@@KathySierraVideo like many things, I take it with a grain of salt. I believe there is a nuance and truth to that statement which, like many truisms, gets perverted and carried into some absurd, reductive understanding of how life works. What I get from it is that men have to "gain" value by working for it, and women simply have value which can only be "lost" through certain decisions (obviously, this is looking at broader societal ideas of values for people, not a declaration on how people should act). What many men, including myself, are told is that life owes you nothing and that it's your job - your responsibility - to actually earn the respect of other people, mostly through hard work, strength and an ability to provide. I've always questioned whether or not this is true for women, and to what extent. I don't think women literally have zero expectations, but I believe the idea is that women generally are told what to avoid doing in order to preserve value, and men are told what to do in order to earn value. As an example, women being told to preserve their beauty or virginity, vs men being told to go out into the world and build strength and acquire resources. Women are told to *not* get fat, but men are told to not only not be fat, but also to build muscle. Women are told to remain quiet to avoid saying the wrong things, but men are told that it's not enough to simply stay out of trouble; they must actually risk saying and doing the wrong thing, in order to be able to actively demonstrate they can do the right thing. I don't believe this is how things should or shouldn't be, but on the surface I can see the truth in it. Sure, we can disagree and say this behavior is too simple, it lacks nuance, and isn't true for everyone. But speaking personally, as a guy who's told countless times that "the world owes me nothing" and that "women won't come to me, you have to go take what you want/make the first move/earn respect through your actions", it's not difficult to understand those words and what they mean. Especially when it implies that women literally are just waiting for us to ask them out first, which implies a whole lot about their desire or ability to initiate things vs simply "receive" them; whether that's true or not, or how much, is hard to say.
@@Jazzmaster1992wanted to chime in because I think both of you are overthinking this. The “a woman simply is but a man must become” quote sounds very pithy but I think it boils down to the idea that men need to look for their place and value in the world- find their “job” so to speak. Women, on the other hand, are born with a job to serve and care for others- not just children but parents, spouses and even friends and coworkers. It’s really not about the biological ability to reproduce- which is insignificant compared to the work and commitment required to care for another human being. I think a lot of the conflict here is from neither side understanding the burdens the other side is carrying.
@@Jazzmaster1992 most women I know (in the U.S. and much of Europe) are *also* raised with a “the world owes you nothing” message, and economic realities make that painfully obvious. And any young woman raised by a single mother (for any reason) is likely to have the message pounded into them if not verbally than by reality… “don’t for a moment think you can depend on another person to take care of you financially, reliably.” I cannot think of a more misleading message than, “women just need to keep being what they were born to do… but men have to do something MORE.” I literally cannot think of any women I know personally for whom that has ever been a reality. Including myself, my mother, and my daughters. 🤷🏼♀️ But divisiveness seems to appeal to a lot of people 😢.
I usually hate BS self-help and "life coach" landscape, but you are the one exception, thx Mark
Probably because he's not promoting a quick fix
@@TheKrispyfortidk better help is no Beuno
@@TheKrispyfortthat's also what I thought but I still don't think that this is enough to change someone because they easily obtain these very important informations without any consequences or they simply cannot relate to what is being said. Sorry for the absolute trash grammar I'm still learning English.
@@asdsafddfshgosas2662 well duh, that's obvious, you can't change someone else, the only way for another person to change is they have to want to change themselves and make the effort
@@asdsafddfshgosas2662 Your grammar is fine. No worries. Your punctuation needs some practice. Again, not a big deal on RUclips.
Thank you for including "just try damn it", i spent 13 years trying to become an engineer and it's finally happening. I graduate this summer and start work. I was told I would never make it in the military. I served in the Army for 8 years and that's how i funded my education. Seriously people, just try. You're a lot stronger and smarter than a lot of bad people want you to realize.
Was the Just try part also for the talking to women part? Also I'm confused about what he means? Like I don't want sex but he is saying to just approach women and state something? ...I'd assume you have to talk about other things first...have social skills and introduce myself? All this before just blurring out something about jeez I don't even know what he wants u to say. That I find u beautiful and would love to ___? Idk...he over estimates how little I know... I was forced to be a late bloomer so I need a little more help then the average Joe figuring this part out. Any help?
@@bentravis777You’re overcomplicating it. Just try talking to a woman. That’s it. It will either go bad or good or neither. Just try and you are already ahead of where you were before.
Congratulations
Congrats man! I've tried for 6 years at this moment and I'm working as a phone agent to fund my education, I hate my work, but I hope it gives some results.
@@josephvids1 Interesting I was thinking the exact same thing before I read you're comment while reading his.
As a woman, I found this video useful to understand men a little better. I also learned some stuff for myself. Like, yeah. I do complain too much. It's how I process things, but I realize I do it a lot, and I gotta work on that.
Also: nothing is hotter than a man who is emotionally mature and supportive, imo.
@CrystyleDragon And very few things are.hotter than a woman who doesn’t complain and knows the value of taking responsibility and accountability.
I hope Mark does similar content for women too.
-taking notes-
fk that I'll be on self improvement.
Plenty of emotionally mature men are not attractive to women.
In reality, nothing is hotter than being a billionaire or famous.
@@JohnStockton7459 I don't find wealth or fame attractive in itself. Wealth often equals way too busy or disconnected from the world (maybe not always, but that's how it looks from my eyes). As for fame, I'd rather not be seen by millions of strangers for being so-and-so's gf or ex. I like my privacy.
So, to each their own, but it's not a universal opinion. Hence the "imo" in my post. I can't speak for all women, my post is from my perspective.
I'm pushing 29 this spring, but I don't think My younger self would have listened you with this mindset I have built up recently. All it took was a harsh break-up and I needed to value life a little better. I started working out finally in My life, I have been obese for the better part of 13 years and at My highest peak at the moment.
I still consider myself "young" and best of all, motivated. Left my shitty Job and applied for school, got to school at the start of this year, hitting the gym and focusing better on what shit I'm stuffing through my mouth.
I randomly saw one of your experimental videos with public anxiety, wich I can't relate to, but ever since have been watching you and listened to all the pods?
I love you Mark and I thank you for all the inspiring words that you share and you give a nice grasp on life, of how to lack a little shit to give.
Thank you ❤
Life's hard man, but we owe it to ourselves and the people around us to do the best we can. I don't know you, but I'm glad you are making positive changes.
You're doing good man! Don't give up and keep believing in yourself ;)
Keep it up man, one day fulfilment will be a past time for all of us. When you go to gym look to your left, look to your right and see that we all came from a nest. Spread your wings and fly.
I like opinion I just heard, Jaroslav Dušek (not in english) said he is inspired by various books and techniques, useful ideas.
He said our biggest mistake as humans is that we separate people in two groups good person, bad person.....
In past they had better approach, because in ancient times they learned another approach in some healthier civilisations.
They separated people in two groups "mature" and yet "immature"....or unexperienced.
which means they know the person will get mature in the future learning new things, and that at some point they will self-reflect and experiment with various ideas
and learn new experiences.
They were not so judgmental putting the guy in category "bad guy" or "bad woman" but immature man, immature woman....
It wasn´t such harsh approach toward them it was meant well I think you are yet immature, but its not a form of judgment...
You will grow as does everybody in community.......
He said: Attention is greatest form of manipualtion....
You say this is good guy, this is bad guy...to attract attention from people etc
It seems to me today men are told to not experiment with ideas, someone want´s men to stay in the same mindset, and never grow, never change, never learn new ideas, and men shouldn´t allow others to tell them how to think and not upgrade their mindset in positive way or not read philosophical books etc.
Or learn something about emotional state of mind...
Because companies may easily manipulate immature guy,
but he isn´t immature because he chose to be immature, but because someone is manipulating him.
Maybe the companies and capitalism profit from people´s weakness so they want to brainwash them to never grow.
He saved almost every young men from scrolling hundreds of improvement video by just 10 minutes. Truly legend.
Great video and solid advice, but the environment you live in is also an important factor. Most young people aren't valued by older folk so how can they value themselves? A big percentage of families nowadays are broken and have ruined the younger generations. The dating landscape is absolutely horrible. The social life is non existent for many. Basically the older generations, women, even our own generations none value us so how can we value ourselves? We have given up like a gazelle among lions, cause if we try to do anything we will get cut down and it is better to just be quiet doing our minimum pay job with a high rent apartment box and distract ourselves with entertainment. We saw the generation that is above 30 now do try and fail many times and they are miserable, in dept, lost their companies and jobs, divorced, ruined their kids, drug addicts, absolute mess, so why should we try is that's the result? We were told to work hard cause that will give us good jobs what will give us good life but we worked hard and got nothing, even worse than nothing, we lost ourselves and our future with it - in terms of our psychological and physical health. In the end everyone will be fucked cause of the society's flawed ideologies.
Except he looks like a doomer
Dude what💀 go outside. If you stopped only living online and had a social life you would probably realise the world isn’t fucked like everyone says on the internet.
@@BananaSoupProjects 99% of your thoughts aren't true, life can surprise you in many ways and all you can do is try man. I hope you have a good day and good things come your way and feel like you need to vent this to someone, they are valid thoughts just won't help you succeed (I know this as they stopped me trying for years). All the best man
Thank you, Mark❤ I'm a 54 year-old mother of a 29-year old son who goes through a bit of rough pach of his life, I see this fantastic summary of advise that I couldn't put together by myself! I just sent this message to my son. First, you helped me with your book years ago and now defnitely my son... you are f-ing awesome😎 Thank you again, Mark!❤
I wish that I had access to Mark Manson's work when I was 29.
And that's why fathers are so important for men
@@KD400_ it's not about fathers it's about good environment,,a father wouldn't make much of a difference as much as the environment
@@tfkdandsvkc wrong. A father figure is needed in a childs life
Love the message, Mark. As a child-free woman, I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat. I have to prove my value as I've chosen to forgo an expectation of my gender. More men, young and old, need to hear words of support that will guide them to be better rounded people and not just chase the clout.
Interesting! I am in my 30s and Child free by choice, and have never felt this way. I am wondering if it’s because I have chosen to not have
Vs haven’t had the opportunity and always wanted them? It could be other factors as well. I find your comment very interesting how there can be a completely opposite experience internally to a similar outcome.
Practically, when a man has somebody to care about and knows that this very person cares about him too, not even in exchange for his care, but just acknowledges and supports him anytime and anyhow, always differently
It does make a huge difference and gives a sense of purpose for a man
It is sort of coming, probably, from the old times when people were hunting and exchanging each other, for example, mother was collecting shrooms and berries, while father was hunting and bringing meat, combining was nice, or when someone got sick and other person took care of the sick one
Just considering how in recent world more and more men struggle to even approach somebody, clearly they don’t have that feeling of a purpose, even if it isn’t their purpose to make a family or smth like that
Like, getting rich, fit and healthy isn’t quite the purposes of whole lives
Like, you subconsciously ask yourself, if, “when I achieve those, for what or for who? Was it even needed, if nobody gives two damns about me in this world?”
So yeah, every man needs a supportive person,
At least one, with which I agree with you
@@Chanel31113were you raised in a religion? That is huge for a woman who doesn’t want children.
@@MNP208 no, but I am Christian. I just never felt a longing to have any. During my marriage I thought if they happened they happened, but we definitely weren’t trying for them. I have never regretted it. I like going on vacations and having lots of free time to spend doing things with my partner.
I feel the same now that my son is grown and has his own life. I find myself in a lot of videos geared towards young men figuring their lives out and like I am going through this whole thing now that other people went through in their 20's. It's taken a few years to "find myself" and create a new sense of worth now that I am not living for the purpose of a child.
00:00 🌟 Define your usefulness to the world as a young man to become a net positive for society.
00:58 💑 Choose a long-term partner wisely as it significantly impacts all aspects of your life.
02:52 🕰 Value in a man compounds slowly over time; focus on long-term growth rather than short-term gratification.
03:51 💡 Continuously educate yourself beyond formal schooling, focusing on life skills and emotional health.
06:10 🚫 Earn respect by giving it unconditionally and focusing on bringing value to others.
07:41 🔄 Build self-awareness by understanding your motivations, fears, and behavioral patterns.
08:12 💪 Seize the opportunities and freedoms available today by taking action and continually pushing yourself to grow.
I gave up at the 2nd part
lol I burst into tears at "just try". It definitely sometimes feels like trying is nowhere near enough, this is a nice reminder that trying is all you really can do. I love Ted Roosevelet's idea of the man in the arena. Thanks for this, and many other lessons Mark. Will be returning to this one periodically.
Love “the new editing style” on this one. You guys killed it
Right! I agree 👍
Great wisdom. Wish you had talked about overstimulation. The cycle can steal years from you. Try being bored and you might raise your curiosity, which makes you try and explore stuff
Gimme some advice on how to reduce it please
Boundries are the only way. You have to impose restrictions on yourself by limiting your consumption of content; youtube, spcial media, tv, games, busy work, etc. You have to purposely induce boredom. Sit with yourself and meditate. Go for a walk without music or podcast. Emptiness. Go for a relaxing drive with the radio off. Don't pick up your phone when you're waiting in line at the pharmacy or when you're on the toilet. Sit on your bed with a pen and paper. Write anything thag comes to mind. Make any of these a part of every day to some degree.
Your creativity will begin to blossom, you'll start having important epiphanies about what to do with your life, etc.
@@phillystevesteak6982 I think I'll start with not using my phone while eating. I don't even taste the food at this point.
Start using the tool Screen Time. Then just act like normal for a week and see what your average screen time was. Then set a realistic goal for next week, let's say 30 minutes lower average than the week before. Do this until you are below 3hr per day@@DatNerdyKidd
@@DatNerdyKidd That's a fantastic idea! How did it go?
To reduce it:
1) reflect these three questions:
- What do you use to stimulate yourself?
- How does it feel like, to be overstimulated?
- How do you feel, while trying to fall asleep at the end of an overstimulated day? (only useful, if you fall asleep without distracting devices)
[
in my case:
- activities that lead to overstimulation are videogames, candy, masturbation, shortform content, drugs, music & random videos
- low motivation, low energy, no satisfaction, day flew by, feeling apathetic/don't care about the fact that I overstimulate, don't want to stop stimulation, don't want to face all the tasks that I put off till tomorrow.
- I typically fall asleep ~5-6 hours later than usual, mostly due to exhaustion, not because I want to stop. While trying to fall asleep, I feel ashamed and useless. If I distract myself with videos until I fall asleep, I don't have to deal with these thoughts :)
]
2) change your environment
Your environment influences your actions.
You know, what you use for stimulation. What could you do to force limits? (I uninstalled steam, don't bring junk food home, only unlock my phone after inwardly stating my intention & avoid a certain spot on my couch)
3) accept that it's f*cking annoying. I wish this was the path of least resistance, but it's a battle against a seductive enemy that gives you believable, yet empty promises. It does get easier with repetition, but yeah... sorry to tell you. Let me know if you find an easy way though :D
Best of luck broski. Wish you success.
I discovered you at 19 and started to binge your books and online content. Now I'm 26. Got my education in check, got a relationship with the most wonderful woman that I couldn't even imagined back then, immensely grew my confidence and emotional maturity and managed to untangle all the emotional baggage and mental health problems that I had. You were and are a big help in that journey. Thanks Mark.
I think this is your best video among great videos. At 68 everything rings completely true of a life well lived
I’m 67 and he nailed it!
I feel lucky. I’m 20 rn and related to many things Mark has said. I’m already knowledgeable of half of the things he is talking about. I think he forgot to mention for the young people who don’t smoke to never start smoking… Anyway. I feel very lucky to have a supposedly long path ahead of myself, especially that I am studying something related to technology.
I rarely workout but I have a decent body for a 6’1. Until present I still didn’t find any girls I’m attracted to…
Thank God
Regularly watching your content is one of the most uplifting parts of my day. Thank you, Mark! ❤
Cringing at your past self is the best way to know you've grown up. Thank you for reminding me this with your last few lines!
As a 25 years old guy, i love your message! I am always on the "improve" path, go to the universiy, have a good paid job, workout alot, eat healty, en try to be better with woman. But sometimes i dont know more where i live for. Your videos helps me alot with my journey, and it confirmed me tht i am on the good way. Thank you for sharing this
I love the dating device. Straight to the point, no filler, no bs.
inventing a dating device for dating
Loved, loved this message Mark. You are very very valuable in this space!
This video was like the fresh air I needed in between all the fog around self improvement. Straight Forward & Realistic. Thank you Mr. Manson.
Mark u have literally Changed my whole mind and the way I used to think about everything. In the midst of bullshit advices that roams around the internet You'r advice, Opinions are Legit Real life practical things...
Thanks for everything.
I’m 20 years old. I finished college last summer and was very excited about the future ahead of me. However, I got submerged into void of doubts and self-destruction (thinking about negative things and moments I’ve experienced throughout my life). I got depressed, A LOT. Now, I started educating myself, going to the gym, stopped smoking. I still have so much to learn about this wonderful world before I leave it. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t give up! NEVER GIVE UP! All of the problems are temporary and you can overcome them with a huge smile on your face. Be proud that you’re able to read this because there’s lots of people who can’t even kill themselves due to their disabilities. Time flies by and so do we, it’s just a small moment of history we live in, and yet it’s our whole life, so let’s just be happy and grateful for what we have!
Love you all.
Please, take care of yourselves, comrades!
heck yea bro
Happy holi Mark sir
It's tomorrow, isn't it?
Yes@@_DopamineJunkie_
At the end it doesn't matter to mark it's Today or tomorrow
@@_DopamineJunkie_ The Time He'll Probably See it'll be the day
There ain't any emoji for Holi right?
I felt the compassion in this video. So well done Mark!
Used to read your website WAY before I started following your channel on RUclips. You always come up with the best advice.
It's a blessing meeting you, Mark. 🙏🏿✌🏿🤝🏿
Probably your best video to date, Mark. Great work, great words brother.
Thanks for posting this Mark. It's authentic and was needed. Love you bro. Keep it up
Thank you so much, really needed this Mark!
One true dude that helped me in every facet of my life. Started looking at your stuff at 23. 27 now and content with my life. Thank you ❤️
Absolutely solid advice, and much needed! Thans for sharing this knowledge and wisdom.
Powerful message, beautifully constructed.
Thank you for the message, Mark!
Grateful to found you mark! ❤️🙏🏻
My life has changed since I started watching your channel .
Thank you mark💯
Man, I love this. I’ve been following you for a couple of years but this is the best video ever. Everything a man needs to know, packed into 10 minutes. The world is so much better place with you, Mark! And yeah the new editing / storytelling style rules, one feels.. somehow connected.
I've heard all these principles from other people too, and they have changed my life in ways I'm still very thankful for. Thank you for sharing all of this, Mark.
Mark casually destroying Andrew Tate
Oh bald man = bad
@@WebHackmdshut up
That guy is a way better role model than Tate for sure.
Facts
Mark casually destroying modern feminism
Fixed it for you
A must-watch for every young man out there. Solid advice that can truly make a difference. 👏
Fabulous message Mark. Needed this advice so badly. Please keep up this great work. Many thanks 🙏
Thanks Mark, 23 myself. Was going to skip the ad but something told me don't. I am a master in self sabotage right now. Therapy has been something on my mind. Again,I am grateful for your contant. Grateful for finally pushing me over the edge, and thankful for having found you.
Why are u so good. Ur videos come exactly at the correct time.
thank you man, I really needed that
Yes, been waiting for such content Mark, but love all your content, they are all connected and share the same goal
Mark, unlike the many many other life coaches I have seen or read I feel you are the only one I can trust. You speak facts and back it up too. Thank you.
Mark you are the father that i never had! Huge fan from brazil!
You work for 40yrs to have $1m in your retirement, Meanwhile some people are putting just $10k in a meme coin for just few months and now they are multi millionaires. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life
I'm favoured financially, Thank you Jesus $32,000 weekly profit regardless of how bad it gets on the economy.
Thanks to Mrs Maria Davis.
She's a licensed broker here in the states
I'm surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of her clients testimony on CNBC news last week.
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom..
Keep lighting the way as you do Mark 💙
Amazing advice. You’re awesome Mark, thank you!
All of this advice 100% on point.
As a 16 year old, being patient is actually the hardest thing to do but I'm trying
upd: as one of the replies adviced I started to meditate and it really helps. If you're struggling with the same thing you should try doing it
meditate
@@the_ab101 I've been avoiding it for a long time, bc I thought it was hard, but you know what? I will start today. Thank you.
@@ch1x101 👍
Adolescence is the hardest phase of life to endure.
Meditation - Eastern style is good. It's about observing your thoughts without being absorbed by them.
I'm enjoying a hot cup of coffee while listening to this video. Reflecting on what you're saying. The emotions are truly indescribable!!!
Always giving the best advice, simple and straight forward.
Thank you Mark !
I just realised sonething: Depression in men is rising wherever we look. „A woman simply is, a man must become“ is basically saying: men are not worth anything just being themselves, the only worth they have is what they can do for others. Women can just be themselves and are enough. Men apparently always have to do something, provide something, achieve something. And the second you are not doing this anymore, you‘re worthless. This reality is not only immensly unfair but depressing as hell. And we wonder wonder why men are depressed…
This may be one of your best videos yet
I’ve watched a lot of ahit on RUclips. I’ve read a lot of shit in books and everywhere else. Mark is still one of my most favorite straight forward person doing it. Thank you Mark. Please keep up the fantastic work.
Love your thoughts mark! Thanks for the help
So many men could really use this insight, I found every piece of it genuine and true through my own trials and tribulations.
In another video a guy commented about his 150 lb friend with a junkyard car and very little money that didnt have any trouble with finding women to have a romantic relationship with.
Thats because his self confidence are huge and nothing else.
Are you absolutely sure there was nothing else oversized? Sorry, couldn't resist 😅
But seriously, that friend sounds just like me...except the huge confidence/no trouble finding women bit. Mind you I'm gay, so perhaps not entirely surprising...the latter, obviously...the former less so and a mix of causes...but let's just say some nature, some nurture 😐
His friend obviously doesnt base his self worth on his car,weight and financial worth. He gets his confidence from other things.
I always learn something from your videos Mark, you hold me accountable and help me steer in the right direction. You've done this for me 5 years ago and you continue to do this now, your content has changed my life. Thank you for all the knowlege you share with us
What I absolutely loved about this video is how well it relates to young women as well. Really high-value content.
We have two lives, the second only begins when we realize that we have but one.
Amazing video, definitely gonna rewatch this periodically to wake tf up
Love it, very informative and presented in a funny way!
Thanks for sharing, your videos are very insightful
Being the eldest daughter of my family, it is helpful for me Mark ❤... Ur videos, ur book, all help me a lot❤.. so thanks man and loads of love❤...
This is a master piece for the times we are living. Thanks Mark.
i concur!
I really like the new video style mark. And Happy Holi ❤
This one really spoke to me. Thanks for all the non-annoying, non-dimishing, down-to-earth life advice, Mark
Loved it! Exactly what I needed to hear❤
Mark, I hope you realise the legacy you will leave behind one day. Thank you for the invaluable wisdom you consistently share. 🙌🏽
Mark was so emotional last podcast about young generation.
like a bro thanks man love you
Thank you Mark. I needed this.
I still remember when you had your blog some 10 years ago or so and you offered some advice about relationship issues I was having. God you've come a long way, I'm so glad to see you up there.
Enough no more motivational videos no more self help videos no more look maxing videos i need to get my life on tracks now there are distraction every where no more phone i'll spend time with my family instead i will listen to BHAGAWAT GEETA audio book i instead thankyou so much mark for making this video ever single word you just said in this video made a huge impact on me i am 18 years old i love your videos and i often watch them but yet i end up scrolling from now i will stop scrolling in internet i hope this fire that i am feeling right now will stay forever
Same bhai mai bhi 17 ki umar mei itna mature ho gaya hun
@@Shadow0x0 bro i wish you all the best for your future and i hope you'll not get distracted from your ultimate goal
@@Jayy41 strangers on the internet like you are better than real life friends
@@Shadow0x0 couldn't agree more bro i've lost all my friends and it's just me and myself
Hi Mark, I just wantied to say you have honestly changed my life for better.
Before my ex cheated on me and I developed very low self esteem. Before I had social anxiety then I found a way to embrace it and realise I'm not the problem. After my gf cheated on me it all came back. Why I am so insecure? I messed up the simplest things all the time? Nobody likes me and never will.
I started to get into self improvement with watching many self improvement youtubers. You especially stuck out as it wasn't no bs course to sign up to or telling you the same things that every self improvement youtuber tells you to do. Your straight to the point and tell us simple but effective ways of being a better individual.
I read your models book and it really took my perspective of dating differently. I become more vulnerable and open with people to build deeper connections without being needy. I realised previously with my ex I was really needy and always looking for approval, so no wonder why she did cheat on me but I am thankful for that experience as without it, I would never of learnt of not being needy.
Thank you mark and keep doing what your doing, your fucking awesome.
Nice coment bro
Hi Lewis! I'm happy for you that you're finding a path that serves you well. You're probably going to find my comment irritating and you're right. Your comment went very well until the end and you're possibly thinking "wtf old boomer dude"? Well, you're right, boomers can be a bit too detail oriented, but you're probably trying to get a good job from one of us. Plus, you're trying to show your skills to the ladies and you're not quite there yet, but you're close. You're possibly thinking I should just mind my own business and you're right. You're on your way Lewis! I wish you prosperity in all you're doing!
@@LifeTheUniverseAndEverything42 Honestly thank you so much for this comment. I know I'm not perfect and nobody is, I still sometimes get anxious talking to people (including girls) but it's practice and failing, practice and failing. Plus when I'm anxious I have to tell myself it's good as it's something I need to work on. Honestly I'd rather listen to someone who knows what there on about, than someone who acts like they do like many people do these days XD.
Well, mate,
Very nice knowing that this did help you and the funniest thing about all of this self improvement stuff is that all of the RUclipsrs, who talk about it, they in most cases try to make you feel better, try to “oh yeah, that is true man”, but they aren’t really telling you to do something, which is why a lot of people are couch potatoes, even though they are watching all that stuff, which is basically staying in comfort zone and being afraid of making mistakes, most people thing that self improvement is all about perfecting themselves as best as they could, but no, it means just about the opposite
It means consciously trying something by yourself, especially if you don’t like that very something and clearly making lots of mistakes, but with that comes the experience nobody could give you or tell you, because only you with your unique 1 out of all 8+ billion people living, one unique consciousness could experience
So it is okay to be anxious while contacting with people as you mentioned you have sometimes, it’ll be gone as you do it and your brain gets used to it
Keep pushing, mate!
@@Lewishelps512 Thank You and You're Welcome. I can see by your thought process that you are getting things figured out and that's great! I have been down a similar road and it's not always fun. I used to train people how to use a photocopy machine and told them when the machine didn't do what they wanted it to do "you learn more from things going wrong than from going right, because your frustration will help you to remember the solution" So, the machine didn't do what you want? Try a different way and no, I'm not going to tell you the solution, because when you figure it out, you will be more likely to remember your thought process than me just telling you.
But I think you are doing the work to make your life successful and enjoyable, so good on ya dude! (Just try to avoid kicking the machine... your foot will break before the machine does what you want it to) {grin}
{And you do now know the difference between "your" and "you're", right?} {Bigger grin}
One of the most insightful one, Thanks for taking us this far Mark 💖
This was amazing, thank you so much for the no nonsense, nuanced, and (crazily) free content Mark. I discovered you last year and you have been an amazing source of inspiration and knowledge for me.
I always think, that you cant teach me more, but everytime i continue to learn. 15 years avoiding therapy didnt got me anywere, but seeking the help i needed, made me realize all the destructive patterns of myself. Its not easy, but its totally worth it. Thank you for sharing your knowledge for free and be a better example for all people out here!
lets see how many people are here
Hi
Just look at the views for that, dont need to comment
Stay strong brothers 💪🏻
10k in one hour
Anonymous user looking for clout😂
Thank you Mark and thank you for your book. It's changing my life.
Loved this. Refreshing facts.
From don't try, to just try.
What a transition!
😂
😂😂😂
😂😂
Love the pro therapy message. Be careful to find the right fit. BetterHelp is a great start but the first therapist is rarely the right therapist. Don't be afraid to switch if you feel stuck; I know finding a local psychologist greatly helped me.
Great advice and tips, as always Mark!
Oh god, I wish I had this video when I was 16. I’ve had to figure out a lot in the last 2-3 years, and after looking back at the people I use to be considered worse than just a year ago and am now held in a higher regard comparatively, the work I’ve put in over the last year is just starting to bear fruit. I didn’t cut out, but stopped feeding into the drama loop cycles that a lot of my old friends fell into. I didn’t cut anyone out, but I stopped engaging in the pointless drama cycles and it’s insane how much you can learn about yourself just by choosing to observe the toxicity of others rather than feed the cycle out of boredom.
i m turning 14, and i know that i m a baby, blablabla. i m kinda struggling as of now, on the other end i m so excited to get "set up" by the age of 16/17 and just live... with what your videos and message(s) helped me a lot. same can i say for music. all your advice i find helpful. not like the others self-improvement youtubers. much love ❤
Mew every day of your life please
Hey dude, I'm 18 currently and I'm sure my 14yo me would be proud of me rn. However, don't wait for life to happen. You're not gonna be a diffrent person once you are 16/17. You'll be surprised, you're gonna be the exact same person. So take action, do what makes you happy, try out new things, experience life!
maybe i didn't explain it very well, by "get set up" i meant like do stuff now, so later on i wont have troubles in the most basic stuff like: communication. looks,
skills, etc.
@@RonPolak yo bro, u good? cringe ngl
I stopped watching the video after the 1st "advice" about what defines the value of men and women 💀💀💀💀
7:38 Not trying to excuse this behavior, but perhaps the reason why some men end up letting it out on their peers is because they tried therapy and not only was it too expensive for them, but they subconciously discovered how anti-male therapy is and how it does more harm than good for men. It's not necessarily that they see their peers as therapists, but moreso that they have nowhere else to go and talk about their feelings.
Complaining about the environment to the people you share it with is completely natural. People just want them to see things from their perspective. Nothing wrong with it. Also complaining about people who cause problems is totally justified.
@@SpiderYTSucks Exactly
@@SpiderYTSucksI bet most in the comments section have never heard of the term "expressing your grievances".
This is so great! Thankyou Mark 🙏🏼
I love your words and thoughts, Mark.
First of all, every young man must uninstall TikTok
What if i use it for creating?
i guess thats ok. Just dont get into doomscrolling
Totally Agree..
Why? Tiktok is one of the best apps for content creators to build a following.
here 25 never installed or used tiktok hate that shit
I don't know. It seems to me that this is more of a trend what you are talking about. Go to the gym, be a "high value man". What if you do these and still are confused what your real priorities should be.. and the more you look at how to improve yourself the more stressful it becomes. Why just go to the gym? Why not find a personal trainer and train 3-4 hours a day? Why not work smart and hard 10-16 hours a day? And of course you need 7-8 hours at least of sleep. How do you manage all of that and still have time? I understand that self-improvement is key but where do you draw the line? This contradicts "not giving a f" in many ways too.. idk..
I really needed to hear this, thank you Mark
Amazing content. Thank you brother
Do you people here in the comment section really think that this dude got it all figured out ? No one knows shit in this universe every human is completly unique every situation moment is completly unique and new what works in this moment will maybe not work in another this guy is just a pro seller like all of them are just to make gains for themselves
I can kinda see where this is coming from but:
A: this guy has life experience
B: actually no, the human experience is fairly universal
C: he's done his research, he's read a many books.
Well if we had an option between him and you your royal highness, wonder what we will pick
@@chaitanyagupta6668 you should pick YOURSELF not him or me !! thats what i am trying to say you are not HIM you’re experience is completely unique
@@chaitanyagupta6668 just because he has so many followers doesn’t mean he is superior don’t put people on a fucking pedastle he is just a man
please dont get me wrong guys. just seek advice from people elder to you, like those people whom the internet refers to as boomer. in my life, they have given the best advice despite being boomers on social media. It might differ in othes cases, but do try it out!
Love the wisdom you shared and how you shared it
Thanks for this Mark. Good advice for older men like myself too. 1. To feel better about how long it took to get here 2. To realize the work continues and 3. To crystallize the idea in such a simple digestible format I will be able to pass on to my son when he is ready to hear it.
The fact that the quote "a woman simply is, but a man must become" was said by a woman actually blew my mind. That this observation was made by a woman is telling; it's been a truism of the "manosphere" for many years, but somehow I doubt even most of the mainstream public figures there actually know its origin, and if they did they'd probably reject that a woman said it.
Your book "Models" came in an interesting time. I remember finding it a decade ago, alongside the now defunct "Real Social Dynamics" and Rollo Tomassi's "Rational Male" blog. Some of these guys actually tried to call you out as a charlatan, which I found extremely odd because nothing you ever said in that book was bad: work on yourself, be honest, and learn how to handle rejection. But I guess because you never went the route of intensely criticizing "female nature" the way many of these other folks do, they felt you were being too kind on women or misleading men into believing being themselves was enough, even though that's not what you said at all. It's unfortunate that so many of the guys in that space want to provide actionable advice for men, but do it from a place of hurt and resentment. I completely understand their feelings, but at some point it just stops being productive and simply hurts more than helps.
“A woman simply is…” does not represent what most young women have experienced. Look at the stats on eating disorders, unrealistic and unrelenting beauty standards, etc. Women today are not valued simply because they *might* be physically capable of having children, but for how well they match current cultural standards for beauty, sexual attractiveness, etc. If you did not win the genetic lottery and choose your parents wisely, well 🤷🏼♀️. I think there’s a whole lot of good in Mark’s messages, but that quote from Paglia does not reflect “women” simply because it was said BY a woman, any more than any one man’s opinion speaks for all men.
Life is not easy for anyone, but easier for some than others. We all can try to do the best we can with our current context.
@@KathySierraVideo like many things, I take it with a grain of salt. I believe there is a nuance and truth to that statement which, like many truisms, gets perverted and carried into some absurd, reductive understanding of how life works.
What I get from it is that men have to "gain" value by working for it, and women simply have value which can only be "lost" through certain decisions (obviously, this is looking at broader societal ideas of values for people, not a declaration on how people should act). What many men, including myself, are told is that life owes you nothing and that it's your job - your responsibility - to actually earn the respect of other people, mostly through hard work, strength and an ability to provide. I've always questioned whether or not this is true for women, and to what extent. I don't think women literally have zero expectations, but I believe the idea is that women generally are told what to avoid doing in order to preserve value, and men are told what to do in order to earn value.
As an example, women being told to preserve their beauty or virginity, vs men being told to go out into the world and build strength and acquire resources. Women are told to *not* get fat, but men are told to not only not be fat, but also to build muscle. Women are told to remain quiet to avoid saying the wrong things, but men are told that it's not enough to simply stay out of trouble; they must actually risk saying and doing the wrong thing, in order to be able to actively demonstrate they can do the right thing. I don't believe this is how things should or shouldn't be, but on the surface I can see the truth in it.
Sure, we can disagree and say this behavior is too simple, it lacks nuance, and isn't true for everyone. But speaking personally, as a guy who's told countless times that "the world owes me nothing" and that "women won't come to me, you have to go take what you want/make the first move/earn respect through your actions", it's not difficult to understand those words and what they mean. Especially when it implies that women literally are just waiting for us to ask them out first, which implies a whole lot about their desire or ability to initiate things vs simply "receive" them; whether that's true or not, or how much, is hard to say.
@@Jazzmaster1992wanted to chime in because I think both of you are overthinking this. The “a woman simply is but a man must become” quote sounds very pithy but I think it boils down to the idea that men need to look for their place and value in the world- find their “job” so to speak. Women, on the other hand, are born with a job to serve and care for others- not just children but parents, spouses and even friends and coworkers. It’s really not about the biological ability to reproduce- which is insignificant compared to the work and commitment required to care for another human being. I think a lot of the conflict here is from neither side understanding the burdens the other side is carrying.
@@Jazzmaster1992 most women I know (in the U.S. and much of Europe) are *also* raised with a “the world owes you nothing” message, and economic realities make that painfully obvious. And any young woman raised by a single mother (for any reason) is likely to have the message pounded into them if not verbally than by reality… “don’t for a moment think you can depend on another person to take care of you financially, reliably.” I cannot think of a more misleading message than, “women just need to keep being what they were born to do… but men have to do something MORE.” I literally cannot think of any women I know personally for whom that has ever been a reality. Including myself, my mother, and my daughters. 🤷🏼♀️ But divisiveness seems to appeal to a lot of people 😢.
Well said. @@ElderMoreMind
6:43 So we as men should not be concerned about things such as MeToo, MGM, male conscription, female gender quotas, feminism, etc.?
Exactly, there's no self-improving these problems away.
Learning things they don't teach at school, not getting laced up with things and having explorations are great notes for me 🙏🏼🙂 thanks Mark
Thanks Mark for this video. I'm a big fan of your work!