Raising Centered (African) Kids. It is time to break the Generational Bondage for Good
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Today's video is for the parents out here, African parents especially. Cheers to breaking the generational bondage. xo
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My Nigerian mom treated me like this. I didn’t grow up in a typical African home. She apologized when she was wrong. She always explained why she set some rules etc. I’m reaping the benefits today. My self respect is very high and I see how it’s different from others. Please treat your kids like human beings.
She always let us express ourselves. That’s how she got to know a lot of what was going on in our lives and was able to correct us when needed. So important! I approve this message 😁
Love this for you 📌
@@chidinma9334 😌❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Living by example is so true...in the evening before bedtime, when I tell my 4years old daughter it's time to bathe...she will give me excuses why it will be better for her to take a bath in the morning. But whenever she sees me getting ready to have a warm bathe in the evening... The next thing I hear from her is mummy can I have a shower too😂😂😂. Mission accomplished.🤣
I am not even married yet but I am here taking notes 📝... I want my future children to be well rounded.. Thank you Ma for sharing these nuggets 💎
“Leadership by example”. Key word for me. I feel like having kids is God’s Infinite wisdom of making us better persons.
Thanks mama ❤
Word!❤️
I really loved watching this video ❤️
I really look forward to being a parent... I'm just 17 but I want to start training my mind😂
My mum is a single parent and even though she's been trying her best (which I am forever grateful for) I still feel like some things caused trauma that I'm still struggling from! I really tried my best to prevent my siblings from experiencing some things but I couldn't really do much as I was still struggling myself from being a teenager and all but I pray God gives us all the strength to heal🙏🏽
So that's why I want to try as much as possible to be the best parent I can be to my future children and I really learnt a lot from this video so thank you❤️
Thank you Solutions. With all these you have said, I can proudly say I am doing well for my son as a single mom. God has been faithful and He will continue to be. Yes and Amen to breaking generational curses.
Thank you so much, Ma.
Letting go of your wigs is such a great commitment. I’ve been thinking about make-up, myself. I have a 3 year old niece whom I’ve been with since she was born. Each time I make up and paint my nails, I see her watch me. I wonder how I’m shaping her self image. I have dark spots on my face from acne. I try to go out as much as possible with my bare face to build my own confidence as well as model that you are beautiful from my own end. But, I’ve not stopped using make-up entirely. I do wish I could. Raising children is really a lot of commitment and sacrifice. Awareness is key.
I’m celebrating you, Ma♥️
I was actually discussing with my roommates some days ago that TOLULOPE solutions need to share tips on how she's training her children because I so love Soteria's energy and confidence. This video will be saved, it's really going to be helpful 🥰
est. means established not estimated...
Ms. Tolulope this video is incredible. I am like a second Mom to my siblings and I learned many of the principles you are explaining by trial and error because I just wanted to be different from Mom to my siblings. You are also giving me more avenues to be of better help to them. Unfortunately many African parents will not listen to this video because many parents do not want centered children who are confident and capable. Some parents actually want to inflict their childhood on their children. These types of parents thrive on their child’s low self-esteem in order to manipulate them into whatever they desire. Can you do a video on how African children can cope with parents who do not want to change their style. So far all I have is to leave, but many can not physically leave their parents.
That second part is such a sad reality. Hopefully I can get to that video some time
my advice if you are watching this video, I beg you listen and put all she is saying to practice and I can tell you for a fact it will work because I am a living testimony of it .I have said it a million times you have been my mentor for helping me in training my daughter🥰🥰🥰 especially wen you are alone training a child in a foreign country, my daughter will be 3yrs next month and people are always amazed that she is 3yrs,not just physically but spiritual. if I see you the kind of hug I will give you ehen, thanks so much.GOD BLESS YOU SO MUCH🥰🥰🥰
Energy! Love love this! The Lord is your strength mama
Hi dear love ans admire your work ethic; keep it up. Quick correction: EST.stands for (Established and not Estimated).
Thank you for addressing this topic. Unfortunately I still see this generation saying or doing the same things our parents treated or spoke to many of us. I totally concur that there lots of dysfunctional , hurting,confused adults floating about ,not knowing why they are feeling sad or not achieving. For this behaviour to stop, I feel that lots of adults need to seek counselling so as to unravel some of things done to us. We Africans need to address this topic more often so as to break this generational curse. Thanks once again.
Thank you so much for this video. I honestly can relate to every point you stated. Just yesterday after church service, my daughter had wanted to play at the playground as she does that evry other Sundays but because of the kind of dress she was putting on we decided that she wouldn't be playing. So when she asked I said no please you can't play today but my husband was trying to tell her that she's going to come back later. I told him that there's no need to do that but he said I'm been too direct instead of convincing her but I honestly don't see any reason for all that. She understands it when I'm honest with her. We're intentional parents and God is helping us.
Thank you so much ma Tolulope solutions you are such an amazing woman, full of wisdom. This is my first time commenting here but I've been following and watching all your videos since 2019. When ever I'm confused about something especially things that pertains to relationship and parenting I always run to your channel to see if you have a video on it and when I find any and watch it, it just blesses me. God bless you so much for all you do. Thank you 🙏🙇
I can so relate to all you said particularly the “you talk too much”, I heard that so much as a kid from my parent and it actually did affect me. I see myself wanting to do so much with my voice (in my head) but that voice just keeps reiterating those thing. I’m definitely working better at it now and my voice is part of how I earn my livelihood professionally. I even own a RUclips Channel 😊Thank you for bringing us wholesome content always
I'm 25, haven't had and kids but I have learnt so much from this video. You have shared a lot of practical things and I think you should do a parenting series. Honestly this is one of your best and most informative videos I have seen. Keep up the good work mama Solutions ❤️.
I really do love your videos on Motherhood. Pls be lead to do more.
Thank you
On this issue of boldness, I had issues with my mom cos of some things I wouldn't tolerate. My son is 2 months old and sometime when he was a month plus he was crying, of course you know sometimes you don't really know why babies cry and she screamed at him to stop. Of course you know Naija parents. And I told her to stop yelling at my son that I didn't like it. I told her I preferred her to comfort him than yell. And she became offended. Another time he was crying, someone trying to comfort him said "Why are you crying, are you a lazy boy". Immediately I told the person not to say that. Been bold with your preferences for your children will get you in trouble, speaking from personal experience. Another issue I'm having is letting people know that my son is a cute baby doesn't mean they have to kiss him when they carry him. My mum does this and it irks me. But daddy Holy Spirit said I shouldn't say anything yet, for peace to reign. Cos honestly a lot of things close people do are not acceptable by me.
personally, I will have a bold description in my sitting room saying "do not kiss my baby'... I can't deal abeg
This was so beautiful. I think this video isn't just for mothers; it helps us as adults "African's" treat ourselves better.
Thank you soooo much for this.
Great Video Solutions, I learnt some.
🥰 I can relate to the point about loving my hair. Though growing up, my hair, sister's & mom's hair was relaxed and we all used extensions & sew ins from time to time but I remember she cared for our hair really well. It was never smelly, always neat and she accesorised with beads, ribbons, etc. Wherever we went, we always got compliments. Even when we were exposed to people with other hair types, we admired but didn't feel inferior. Now years down the line; I have transitioned to natural hair and my sister's still relaxed, we love our hair; in its natural state or with a wig on. I have never felt my hair was inferior or other people's hair is better.
To raise wholesome or like you call it, centered, we have to be wholesome/centered Parents. We can't give what we don't have. Same for our parents, they gave us what they knew & what they had❤️. Reason why we should always be open to new information and growth, and the Holy Spirit will help us sift through and teach us balance.
Recently, my help told me I say 'thank you alot' that her mum doesn't thank her when she does things. I didn't even know she noticed that and was already learning
This right here is a very very important video
I watched a video by Paul Washer on Marriage and Parenting. What really stood out for me was when he said ‘Training before discipline. You can’t say you want to discipline a child if you’ve not trained him or her in that line. It’d only lead to rebellion.’
And I think Mama touched on that a bit too.
Thank you soooo much ❤
This is a major point... "TRAINING before DICIPLINE"...I think some of our parents placed the carts before the horse but thank God we have new knowledge, we will definitely do better.
Powerful revelation.
@@Anu_Borisade thank God we do
Little people today become GREAT PEOPLE TOMORROW. Thanks for this, TS. This vlog was posted Janubary 2023. I hope many African moms see this before it is TOO LATE LIKE IT IS FOR MANY GRANDMAS today...💯❤️😌
This is a good one!!!!!!! Like everyone that grew up in Africa needs to watch this so there won't be transfer of aggression, Thank you mama solutions
This is so timely for me Mama Soteria and Tov. We're in a 21 days fast and during the first week of the fast my prayer was actually for God to prune my tongue n help me speak right especially to my children. I know my deliverance has come after listening to this vlog again. Keep doing what God has called you to do mom.
Do you attend Winners Chapel ❣️
You are an angel ,thank you very much you made me to realize my mistake I always shouting to my kids 😢 some time but today ask them for sorry I promise to change. I really want to be a better mother. Good bless your family 🇦🇴🇸🇸. I love you mommy Solution ❤
Progress mama! You got this!
@@TolulopeSolutions thank you very much dear
Thank you so much for this. I have two adult daughters and listening to you convicted me. I see areas I could have done better when they were younger. However we move. It’s not too late to “undo” some of the bad behavior in Jesus name.
No kids yet, but in my heart, I am building up lessons for motherhood. I will still binge watch your videos on raising kids because you are a mother I admire.
mum life is such a great task beyond birthing and feeding them. may God help and strengthen every mama out there. great content, thank you so much Solutions.
Not me downloading this video and saving for when i get married and have my own child, though i am 24 but i know the holy spirit will help me ❤
I am so grateful knowing you. It's really a blessing 💖 every time I just get motivated and inspired by you. And have really be praying to God to make me a better person which I am glad of because I have really been a different person from who I was before. God bless your ministration MENTOR 🙏💕
And that’s on breaking generational curses!!! Love ittt!!! ❤
The Holy Spirit is correcting and teaching me patience and Godly parenting through this video. Thank you Tolu. Everything you said, I am guilty. Help me Holy Spirt
Thank you so much Mama Solutions. Some of us are not parents yet but we are raising our younger siblings so this is so helpful. Thank you so much🙏🥰
So much gems 💎 in this upload! Thanks for sharing and reminding mums as me with older babies!
Tolulope Solutions thanks so much for talking and filming this vlog, our Nigerian parents needs to learn and see this video clip… God bless you Ma
Start the merchline ma'am!!! We'll buy!❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥 cause we need more people wearing merches that carry the right captions. Let's keep preaching that right message by what we wear!🙌🏼
It’s your intentionality in all🙌❤️
Thank you so much Mama Solutions
I’ve never regretted one day since I started following you. God bless you for impacting Ma❤️
Damn i love the way your daughter replied. Like i eat you too try and eat😊 I love the confidence and self love you're instilling in her. Well done mama.
Great video. Meanwhile EST means established and not estimate.
Thank you so much Ma for this. I’m trying to heal from a lot of things you said in this video. You spoke to my heart. God bless you ❤
You are so welcome
I haven't watched but l am always so excited about your sitdowns God bless you. I intentionally also left the ads playing as l write this comment. I am truly blessed by your content.God bless you Solutions Mama
Aww thank u 💜
Sharing this on all my social media platforms... love the way you Thanked the Holy Spirit. You're a blessing
So much wisdom in here. I'm not married yet but this will help me do better with my niece and nephew when they come on holidays.
This is beautiful 🤩, Am a new mum, (2 weeks old mum) thanks for the informations, we want more of this.
Thank you
All I see is intentional parenting! Thank you for sharing mama solutions. God bless you.
Sis Tolu!!! God bless you... I'm still single and these you've taught, I've written and I'm learning already... The Lord will keep you for me so I'll keep learning... Thank You sis
You are doing a great job Tolue! You are an amazing Mom. Such an inspiration. Sending you tonnes of love xxxxxx for the job you are doing raising your kids. God bless you for being so intentional!! I am inspired. ❤️
Thank you so much!!
SOLUTIONS MAMA......YOUR WISDOM WELL WILL NOT DRY OUT OH...... I LOVE THESE NUGGETS....THERE IS HOPE INDEED FOR OUR CHILDREN O. GOD BLESS YOU SIS😘❤❤❤
Wow now you are saying am seeing some ways I have been doing some things wrong that I need to work on👌👌👌so many tips and points you dropped.
This is so helpful, I’ve been trying so hard to be a calm mom,
I am a mom of 2 boys, 6 and 2 years old, I found myself shouting at my 6 year old A lot but I try with saying thank and sorry,
Lovely video I enjoyed watching ❤
Beautiful video sis, I do same with my daughter, because of her special needs she feels she's not Beautiful and no one wants to play with her, I had to build her confidence. She has affirmation as well. Thanks so much for this. More knowledge in Jesus name 🙏🙌❤️
Well done mama and bless her heart! Way to go 👏🏽
Love it. I will make sure my husband sits down to watch this with me. I have been reading a book called The Happiest Toddler on the Block and what you're saying is correct and makes sense to me. Love your hair as well. Thanks, Mama
This video exudes wisdom. Duly noted when I have my kids.
The title made stop by, plus my love for you as Minister of the gospel together with your Priest. You look more amazing in your new crown(hair) 👑🙏❤️
Thank you ma. My 2 years son would say "Ha ah, no shouting please" so much unlearning and learning in this hood 🤗
🤣🤣 yes mummy...no shouting 😀😘
"so many u doings that need to be undone" 😂😂😂👏👏👏💐
This is so nice. Learnt a lot. Please Solutions do more videos centering around issues like this. 1st time commenting since about 4 years of watching your videos.🤩🤩
The shoe part is very valid because it is building honesty, reducing semi abandonment issues and reducing deceit. A bit extreme? Yeah but these things are real.😢
I love everything about this video. God bless us mothers all over the world. More strength and courage to us all in Jesus name.. amen and amen
Solutions with the solutions 🙌🏾😀 Thanks for being an Intentional Mother and raising others by sharing what you know and have learnt over years!
This is really helpful. As you were sharing those points I had some confirmation that I am doing the right thing, and some inspiration from the ones I am getting wrong. Please share more of these mama
Great video! That 'go get your shoes' is definitely real and deep for some. Seeds of disappointment start so early. Thank you for not discounting the realities of children's feelings.
More reason I love your family❤️.... Most parents don't understand and see reasons to apologize and say thanks to their children which is a bad character.
Attention is one thing we lacked while growing which has resulted to us growing apart.
That shouting is for me ooo🤣🤣🤣 My son will say "mum don't shout pls"
Hmmm... Self love.. noted
I beat myself up a lot but by God's grace I get the courage to look out for my children.
I do say to my toddler to go bring something, just for me to leave before he comes back😒😒
Solutions really came for me on this one.... Thank you Holy Spirit 🙏
I love this. Thanks mama solutions for this. Such a beautiful & enlightening watch ✨✨ to help us learn & unlearn. God bless you, ma.
I was just discussing with my sister about how my mum is constantly speaking life to us. It's helped us a lot
I am just 9mins into the video and I have learnt a lot, this is loaded. I love it🥰
It's the hitting part by African parents for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This video is pure gold 👌 so much to learn and unlearn. Thanks for Sharing
This is on premium wholesome content mama!!! God bless you. Excellent job mama
Amen! Thank u 🤗
This is so true! Thanks. I tell people how I my parent (especially mum) didnt use a typical African method and it works. My mum never shouts, respected us, gave us confidence etc. But mehn me trying her style( essentially all you said) with this new generation kids is hard ohh. I wont lie...and much harder with some kids and dare I say in a lot of cases it is harder with boys and sometimes might require you to be a little bit firmer and what might take 1 week to instill can take a month in another child. Not trying to generalise but in a lot of cases. So pls don't give up if you try this and it's hard..that's cause it is and also kids are different. Also to add a trick I also do (when I remember) is affirmations for myself, cause genenuily I think it is also about US- if you are generally patient it is easier to be patient with your kids ...if you are soft spoken it is etc and so forth. So you need to work on yourself first. Creating an affirmation is one . Create one that works for you for me I say things like Today, I will be patient, I will be kind,I will not threaten and I will lead by example . I say this multiple times in a day ( its the day i say them the kids will now try me the most lol). It takes intentionality and again it is hard but God will not give us more than we can bear . And just like she said you will make mistake but go back to point 1 and say sorry . We need to cut ourself some slack too. We just need to be consistent and trust in God's wisdom to guide us in raising balanced kids. Again thank you Tolulope , I love the point about sitting on the floor on their level and also about being bold in ur decisions no matter who it is, as ultimately its about the child and as along as you explain well and are not rude most people (with common sense) understand. 🤩. Will add those 2 to my list. Thank you
@TolulopeSolutions, you had me laughing and loving this video the whole time, as you where hyping yourself🤣🤣🤣. I love how you positively acknowledge all the great work you are doing as a mom. I am super excited to see another Nigerian who is passionate about breaking generational patterns. I am more than available to Collab & talk about teenagers. God bless you always gorgeous. #Breakinggenerationalpatterns #intentionalparenting
I need my parents to watch this video honestly, they need it.😩😭
Especially on this privacy matter. In fact every single detail of this video.😩
Glad I'm learning these in my single days, thank you so much for sharing
"Mo ti nà ẹ́ tán!" 🤣. That has been me. Parenting is a humbling and refining journey. Love these points Tolulope . Thanks 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
As a parent. This video is very helpful.thanks
OMG!!! I really want to like this video more than once 👏... Thank you so much for this WHOLESOME content mama... As I'm not a mother yet, I have definitely saved it for the future and I'mma be sharing to every mother I know... I pray the Holy Spirit helps you to give us more content like this.
I've learnt a whole lot from you over the years and I'm still learning... God bless you again and again! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Amen! Thank u Opeyemi 🤗
@@TolulopeSolutions 🥰
I am really learning from you Ma....God bless you abundantly
Not a mother yet but thank you so much...God bless you.
On that note please send the remaining wigs to me 😂
If only we will allow the HolySpirit to guide us in parenting our children because I have come to realize so early that head knowledge has so little to offer! And every child is different, I can't use the pattern I used in training my son, Livingstone to train my daughter, Supernatural as well. I have learnt it deeply!
Thanks so much mama Sols, love ya!
Thank you Mama. I truly appreciate the nuggets you're sharing here. A quick drawing of our attention to the full meaning of the "-est" in your shirt please:
written abbreviation for established: used with a date to show when a company or organization was begun:
P. R. Jones & Co, Est. 1920
Thanks fam
Men....this video is loaded. Am not yet married and sometimes I get worried if I'll be able to raise my children in a godly way considering all the LGBTQ ish in the world.
You just consolidated my resolve because this matter is extremely intentional and led entirely by the Holy Spirit's guidance 🙏🏾
You will by the help of the Holysprit but light doesn't run from darkness, it's the reverse...the darkness in the world is an opportunity for us to shine...not deter us.
@@Anu_Borisade Thanks so much for this
You hit so well...this is it, we need to sound this alarm so much
Great content!!
In my own opinion, not wearing wigs doesn't mean we are not loving our natural hair. If we can add makeup to our natural faces, wearing wigs once in a while is not a bad idea.
Parenting 101!!!!✍✍✍
Thanks so much for sharing🙌
This video is so powerful. I learnt so much about parenting especially the aspect of boldness. Thank you for sharing
Please create a playlist on motherhood for us that want to binge. And another one on marriage and love. Thank you😍
God bless you mummy,you are such an amazing person,I love you mum.
That attention and quality time is lacking these days. Coach Wendy Ologe pasted a write up of a man that was never there for the children when they were toddlers till they got married. When he wanted to celebrate his 70th birthday, they couldn't attend because of one reason or the other.
In a nutshell, you can't enjoy a relationship you didn't nurture.
Thank you mama Solutions
Learnt a whole lot and absolutely enjoyed all the lines❤️❤️❤️
Mummy Oluwafunke just dey shake head because she is Aware of her very Beautiful, shining and fluffy hair
Anyways..........thanks for sharing, you're so Blessed with words of wisdom touching lives everywhere, thank you!
Lowkey want to send this as a BC to all the African parents I know. 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
I know right.
This is AWESOME 👍... I love every bit of it. So much unlearning to do. God bless you with more inspiration Tolulope
Can you do a close up video on your locs? What's your loc routine?
I am on locs as well and I love how full your locs are.
This is so powerful!
Thanks so much ma💜
We definitely would appreciate more of this😊
Amazing video. I am a new mum and there is a lot of take home here for me . Welldone ❤️
I think its established 2019 not estimated 2019
😂😂
Issa mistake jare, e no easy to create content jare
I think so too 🤦🏽♀️
@Tolulope Solutions 🤣🤣🤣🤣 thinking yi na ni nkan. I think so too.
As a mum of one gorgeous lil 1.3 years old☺️, this video is incredibly helpful to me! ❤️❤️❤️
Talk to me direct...lol. Beautiful video. Progress over perfection. So help me God
You got this!