In What Stupid Ways Did You Injure Yourself?
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- Опубликовано: 20 мар 2024
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got a fire call in the middle of the night, and was rushing out the door, and opened it right as my nose was in the way.
Walking down the street.
Was walking with my husband down the street to our local pizza joint when I slipped on some grit or something on the sidewalk and cut open my right knee.
My sweet husband picked me up and carried me back home and he went back out to get rhe pizza we had ordered.
Fortunately I have some minor medical training and patched up my knee while he was out and I got to console myself with some pizza- and a canolli that he bought me ❤
Got a minor concussion from a fire extinguisher.
I was working in a school and bent down to put my boots on the shoe rack and banged the top of my head HARD on the bottom of the fire extinguisher that was on the wall.
Had a massive headache but I didn't tell anyone b/c my boss at the time was an elderly nun who didn't believe in concussions and I just didn't have the energy for the argument.
Fortunately the headache went away after a couple of hours and I didn't die.
Ended up retiring before 40 b/c I started to go blind (unrelated to the concuasion).
I used to dance my ass off to “Sandstorm” at a friend’s dance party, and usually I’m quite fleet-footed, but one night I spun out and slammed my ankle on the ground.
I had to walk back to a chair without aid all for a black leather vest… shut up.
I was working at a gas station for a class I was in Highschool. A man driving a truck towing a boat came into the station to get gas for the boat. I filled the tank, ran the man's credit card through the credit card machine (in 1974), gave the man his copy. I then went to stand between the oil cabinet and the credit card machine. When the man pulled out of the station, he turned too short, and the boat trailer ran up over the pump island over my right foot and on out into the street. My foot was not broken but it sure was bruised really bad.
My babysitter had a stationary bike in her basement with a speedometer. My brothers and I took turns trying to see who could pedal the fastest. On my turn, at full speed, my foot slipped off the pedal and my big toe went through the gears. I screamed and my babysitter carried me to the bathroom leaving a trail of blood the whole way. At the hospital the docs just removed the mangled skin since "there was nothing to stitch it to". Went to my first day of grade 6 with one shoe and one slipper.
I stood up too fast, passed out, landed on top of a baby gate, and split my eyebrow open. Lengthways.
I was smoking a bowl while driving and started coughing while looking forward so i can see still and blew my neck out on my right side
My two dumbest injuries both involve me hitting my head. One occurred when I was but a small child, and the other occurred a few years ago.
1) I bumped my head on my great-grandma's fence trying to get in the yard. I still have a scar on my forehead from where I had to get stitches, 34 years later.
2) I dropped the coin I was trying to scratch a lottery ticket with. Bent down to pick it up, and bumped my head on the ceramic counter of the center island in the kitchen. I damn near gave myself a concussion!
I have a bad history of jumping off things:
1: walking with friends to get dinner, realize the road we chose doesn’t go through. We climb through the bushes to get to the road we want, but there’s a maybe 7-10 ft drop from where we are to the sidewalk. First friend goes down, he’s fine, he has gymnastics experience. He says “it’s only 5 feet” and I, being stupid, jump after, land a little weird on my knee, but walk it off. Later after eating, I look at my knee and realize it was somehow bleeding but my pants didn’t rip at all.
2: snow day, I don’t have a sled but I go out to the sled hill. There’s a retaining wall next to the hill, also about 7-10 feet, and about 2-3 feet of snow at the bottom. I decide jumping into the snowbank is how I’ll have fun. The first time is fine, then I ask a friend to film it. This time I land wrong on my wrist (luckily non-dominant), so I go back to my dorm and text my roommate to bring dinner from the dining hall. I don’t hear from her until she gets back from the dining hall with hallmates and she hadn’t seen my text. It was closed by then.
Any other major injuries I’ve had have been semi-cool, like soccer or swordfighting club.
On vacation in Colorado I woke up and wrenched my neck. That's it, I moved my eyelids. The sound it made was a tearing/crunch that still makes me nauseous to think of it. Worst New Year's Eve ever.
- Cousin and I built a fort using bookends to anchor the blankets, took one to the head
- Took a barbed wire fence to just below the right knee while riding a wagon down a hill
- Jumped off the golf cart, probably got a concussion
- Didn’t look both ways, got my first car destroyed by a truck, permanently fucked up my left knee
- Sliced my elbow open on the lip of the dishwasher at work, twice
- Burned the bottoms of my feet running across hot sand bc I didn’t want to put my shoes on, walked funny for the next day
TL;DR - Ruptured spinal disc while sneezing. Later became a practitioner of "proper" sneezing.
Had a powerful sneeze that took a good 30-60 seconds worth of wind-up. Right as it was inevitable, i realized that when my head went forward, i was likely to crack my head on the corner of a chest of drawers, perhaps even my eye. Instead turning or stepping away, my brain said, "just brace yourself so you don't bend forward". Yeah, horrible idea.
Next thing i know, the best way i could describe it was like my back was a guitar, and most of the strings just broke; I literally heard 3-4 "twangs". I saw the equivalent of bubbles popping in front of my eyes, and then everything went white for a second. I crawled to the master bedroom, and laid with my back flat on the floor with my lower legs on the bed. Later went to urgent care, they saw the rupture on X-ray, which they said was rare. Prescribed narcotics, muscle relaxants, and a dozen plus PT sessions to get myself somewhat functional again.
Fun facts: Sammy Sosa once injured his back sneezing, so I'm in good company. There are literal guides to sneezing properly on the Internet; practice that religiously now.
When I was real little I once sliced the top of my thumb open with kitchen scissors while trying to put together a toy science experiment. It wasn’t “bad” but it was definitely bleeding.
The circumstances behind how this happened are incredibly stupid, but about two hours, a few bandaids, some pizza and a lecture on scissor safety later it was like nothing happened lol
I was having “private time” with myself. Forgot I was due to start my period. Hand came away covered in blood. Terrified that I hurt myself and the sheer amount of blood, I passed out in the shower. Got a big cut up my butt crack that didn’t heal for 7 months because of the location as well as broke my pinky toe and part of my foot.
when I was 18, I decided to jump on a moving amusement park ride. that ride was the scrambler! I was extremely lucky to survive the encounter with ONLY 12 stitches! I got kneecapped by a steel beam and took a headshot at the same time!
Did you get knocked out?
@PowuhToSeven nope! not even a concussion! the ER doc walked in, looked at the reports from the EMT and the ER and just started shaking his head. looked me in the eye and said "I don't know how to explain it, but you can go home!" I didn't even get admitted!
Wiped my ass on the toilet and somehow pulled a muscle in my throwing arm. Just a short while before I was due to show up at softball practice. That was an awkward explanation to my coach at 15.
When 11, in summer, I grabbed a wasp going into juice box by its behind. Shockingly, it stung me. It ended up giving me anaphylaxis and I had to have 911 called by my parents to give me epinephrine shot.
Also slicing three fingers at the same time on mandoline slicer while making potato chips. It had no guards and I wore no gloves.
When I was about 3 I had the bright idea to walk with my eyes closed. I was on a walk with my dad and he told me to stop. Did i? Heck no! So I kept walking, eyes still shut, and then walked right into a stone wall. There was a big wound on my forehead from that collison. And no, I do not remember any of this. This is just what my mum has told me.
Tried to open a fruit juice 12pack with a knife, using the back end inside the plastic... When the plastic suddenly spit open, the knife shot backwards and nailed the bit of skin between the nose and my right eye.
Yeah, good thing it didn't go any further to the right or I'd be a Cyclops.
This was waaay back when I was young and dumb. Well, younger and dumber 😂😂
When I was a toddler, my mother was trying to offer me some blueberries but I guess I didn't want them.. I remember screaming, turning to my right, and charging full speed into a glass door on a kitchen hutch. That's where & when I gave myself a harry potter scar on my forehead 😂
Last time I got a cough I somehow managed to pull a chest muscle from coughing so much/so hard. Fun couple of days, and sneezing hurt for months afterwards.
I nearly broke my nose trying to do a forward roll on a bouncy castle
i cut myself on a mandolin, a potato peeler & a cheese grater...i was surprised how much i bleed.
when i was about 8, i tried to ride my father's bike, ended up slamming my lady-bits, holy sh## did THAT hurt.
after a heavy rain, i took my 2 large dogs for a walk, they saw a cat, & tried to chase it, i slide & fell & end up on the ground, to make matters worse, it happened in front of ALL the neighbors, some of my brothers friends, ended up hurting my knees & my arm.
I was riding a scooter down a steep blacktop hill and was going too fast. Being a dumbass and still pedaling, went into a death wobble. Options were pavement, bridge to the ribs, land in creek among plenty of stone, or grass. I made the grass decision too late, and it turned into a large oak tree.
I bounced my head off that sucker. Slid, shirtless in the gravel and then flipped onto my ass. Completely K.O.'d. Buddy went to get help and I was out cold.
Had a goose egg the size of softball off the side of my head for a few days. And now I have a gnarly scar that sits just above my eyebrow. You can feel a dent in my skull from it
Tried to do a run with my friend on my back all Inuyasha/Kagome style 20 years ago. Got cocky and tried running and jumping. Tripped, fell, and landed face first on concrete; breaking my jaw and skinning my face.
I was opening a can of dogfood which fsr are notorious for having really dense and hard to open lids, it had a pop tab and i even thought "if i use my index finger to pull this imma hurt myself." So i used my thumb instead.
The lid pops and because of the way i was holding it i slid the pad of my index finger across the sharp edge and skinned it. Smh, i still have a scar on my finger to this day
I was talking to a co worker before using the restroom. Our restroom door is really heavy, while I was talking to him I open the door with one hand and went to catch it with my other while still looking at my co worker. The door came back and bent my thumb back. Doc said I severely sprained my thumb... Got a week off tho 🤷♂️
That last one would've been spectacular to watch. Lol
Forgot that tripods put over bunsen burners are hot. Held one for almost a full minute before realising it should be hot - got second degree burns around the base of my thumb on my writing hand... that was fun
herniated my disc playing disabled volleyball in secondary school. we had to sit down on the floor and play volleyball like that, i guess to instill empathy etc? got up and just crumpled. i’ve since had 3 discectomies, found out i have spina bifida and the disc is calcified around the nerve root because my gp said the pain was just from being fat.
Purposely stepped on a rake to see it it worked like in cartoons. It did, and it reopened an injury I got a couple days prior from falling head first into one of those old style radiators that houses used to have.
I cut my finger down to almost the ligament trying to open a brand new Japanese stainless steel santoku knife 😅😅😅
Walked into the ceiling fan while trying to walk on my kitchen countertops while stripping paint from my cabinets in January with my windows closed of course and got a chemical burn in my lungs.
Hey. I went to climb down from a ladder. Thought I was on the ground but nope. I still had 1 rung to go. Fell, thumped my head on the bottom of a metal stool. 4 staples in my scalp. I have a small scar in my hair now. I tell anyone that asks about it that I got it doing an exorcism.
Tried to stick a machette in dried mud near a river. Machette bounced off the ground. Backside smacked me right above the eye.
Maybe half inch gash, but I got very lucky.
Sculpy... the clay that gets hard when you bake it in the oven.
Piece fell into the cracks of the broiler drawer.
Pulled out entire metal drawer and shook it over my head to disslodge the clay.
Forgot the drawer was hinged.
Gravity asserts itself... entire massive metal drawer crashes down on my forehad.
Fell to my knees.
So. Much. Blood.
Went to neighbor, asked if she could see brain.
She said no.
Found Piece of clay.
Teenage drifting a tricycle..rollover😅
Now that is impressive visual Lol
Not me,my brother
Severe full body burns from deep frying a frozen turkey,in the nude.
Same brother,slammed his package in a car door.
Sad part is, he's the smart one
I've also ran into a glass door before thinking it was open
0:27 lol
Caused a severe sciatica flare up by bending down to pick up a towel....I was only 26.....fuck football
I fell in the bathroom And busted my damn ear open Not my best moment to be honest
Blew my thumb apart while eating Laffy Taffy. 😵💫 Heading for surgery to have it repaired next week.
45 microwaves
Severely cut both hands on a waffle. Like. Messed up for days
If you spam the back button in the beginning of the video you have your own personal dj
Fell in love, believed words