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Had you not married too young, you may not have realized what you needed to work through, because your partner was not there to hold your hand in the process. That could have let the issues go unaddressed far later in life, causing much greater distress. I hope you some time can reach the conclusion that Alastair arrived in your life not only to love you, but to help you become your best self... and that is what makes a marriage at any age totally worth while :)
So glad that you have reappeared after such a long absence and with such mature reflections on your self journey, love and marriage. Best of what life can offer to both of you!
Thanks for being so vulnerable..Been with my husband for 44 years and have been through everything. Hang on and enjoy the ride..it gets better every year.
Congratulations on 7 years. Today marks 6 years of marriage with my hubby🎉. Marriage has many ups and downs. Communication is key. Talk to him when you can. And stay open Wish you the best
Gone through 2 marriages, first at 41, second at 53. Everything you said was spot on, and I was a lot older. Can't learn how to live in a relationship without being in one. I can tell you about wonderful marriages that started very young because they grew up together. I can tell you, from my own experience, that you spiral and fall apart at any age. I am proud of your honesty and Alistar for "keeping his eyes on the prize." Zach, you are the prize for Alistar, and he knows it as much as you know he is the prize for you. Keep working on being the best YOU that you can be.
Zach, I really appreciate the vulnerability. Being able to look back and realize your mistakes and then put in the effort to make the change to get the life you both deserve is amazing, the effort is definitely apparent in this video alone but also your last couple of social media posts. I love this for you and I’m looking forward to see what the future holds for you both. Much love!!! 🌈❤️
I got together with my partner, now husband, when I was 20. Forty years later and we are still very happily married and will be together for the rest of our lives!
I relate so hard to this, my husband is on deployment. He left January and won’t see him for another 2-3 months so I understand. That moment after you drop them off and you get ugh, that absence is so loud. I wouldn’t wish that pain and loneliness on anyone. I’ll join your Patreon just so we can connect, I know we can relate on this. We got this!❤
Mine is gone again too. But he’s retiring after. But he’ll be gone til June 2025. And when Alistair said next summer it looks like he’s deployed til then too. But could be wrong.
You and Alastair are a couple of good, decent, honorable men, Zach. You don't follow whatever is trendy and fashionable. You are faithful to each other even when you are thousands of miles apart. For men like you, there is no such thing as "getting married too young," as if that was some bad decision. You two are that rare and real thing: two men in true love who truly understand what true love demands and requires--fidelity, honor, duty, sacrifice, and mercy. Take it from me, a guy who just ended his four-year "open relationship," who slept around with other men, many times even while "my man" was right there in the living room, both of us pretending that what we were doing was perfectly fine. It was not. I wish I knew it then, but what we were doing was far from fine. It was a mutually agreed delusion that gradually corroded the soul, a trendy farce that led only to a mutually assured destruction. Take it from me, who is now in therapy, working hard to patch myself up all over again. Godspeed, man!
No offense but I never understood the appeal of an open relationship like what's the point and is it even a real relationship? Your saying u have a partner while sleeping around at the same time I don't get it
Trust is critical in any relationship. What you described with your open relationship defines the term - "short term gain for long term pain." Basic human decency and respect as displayed with Zach & Alastair requires commitment and discipline. They are helping to show what is possible when respect is prioritize and commitments honored. It can be a very lonely life in these challenging times without a lifetime committed partner. Best Wishes on your healing journey into a healthy relationship.
You’re always learning and growing. The person you are today is not the person you’ll be tomorrow. You have a good head on your shoulders and you have a good man. Keep growing for the positive!
Zachary! You got me all 😢 😭, I can't watch you guys being sad and saying goodbye even though I know he's already home. Glad you've worked on yourself and now you're being the husband Alastair deserves. ❤❤❤
Haven't even watched the video yet and just browsing the comments. Most of them are so sweet and nice, it really warms my heart just to know there are so many kind ppl out there!
Zach, thank you for sharing your journey through RUclips. It’s been therapy for us all. Please know that it’s helpful to countless others who are getting through life the best we can. Especially myself. I have only one suggestion for you from watching and listening to you these past 5 or 6 years, keep living in the present and planning for the future as much as you can. its so easy to get caught up in the past and find yourself deep in depression because of what you think you shoulda done , or what's been done to you. as long as you and Alister love each other and care for each other and pray for the same things together, you both will continue to help each other grow and thrive. love you both. stay strong for each other , and we all will certainly keep you in thought and prayer. Somehow , I wish i could do more to give you a lift….. oh… " You Look Amazing" !!!! 🤗
This video surprised me when it appeared in my feed. It's been a few months, and I was a bit surprised how much I had missed the both of you. It's odd how you can become attached to people you've never met or spoke to in person and most likely never will, but at the same time, can have a significant impact on you. Glad you two are still together and making it work. Sounds like Alistair was the wake up call you needed back then. You're lucky. You have what a lot of couples gay & straight couples want. Someone who truly loves them unconditionally.
I know people that got married later in life in their 50s and got divorced. Trauma knows no age. When you find your person no matter what age, hang on to him, because they are few & far between & boy did you get lucky with Alastair. He is a keeper. Have watched u since Bark in the Park and you have grown up in the past few years, grown up enough to appreciate what you have, so keep him close & never let him go
You are an amazing person because you continue to try to improve yourself, and make your relationship a priority, you have realized that you need to make an effort for yourself, and for Alastair. I’M PROUD OF YOU!!’
Zach thanks for your honesty! Stop by so hard on yourself. Just know that both of your life stories has help me and so many other people. It’s has been great watching both of you grow. Hang in there. The two of you are meant to be together! Thanks again and love you both!
“Too young “ is a relative term, imho. Depends on the people involved. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to be with another human being; life isn’t a Hallmark movie. You may well have met Alastair to enable/encourage you to work through the shit. I fell in love at 18; we didn’t marry until I was 23 but I would have earlier if circumstances had permitted. I was very insecure; she had issues from an abusive family. Whether it was appropriate or not, we essentially helped each other through and grew, probably because we did really love each other. Yesterday we celebrated our 45th with our beautiful sons and grandchildren. That stretch hasn’t been without its bumps, but has been a rich, wonderful experience. You’re still together and in love. Embrace it all and value it. It’s part of who you are as a couple. I hope that you have an equally long and fulfilling life together. Xxx😅
That is the best, most loving comment from a straight ally that I have heard in a long time. Listen to this man, Zach...he knows what he is talking about!
You guys are meant for each other and nothing will ever break you apart the love you have for each other is Beautiful sending love to you both God Bless You Both ❤️
Met my husband senior year and got engaged 1 year after dating. Everyone in his family was scared because he never dated anyone before. We were both 21 when we got married. In May we just had our 27th anniversary and have been together 31 years. Only the 2 people in the relationship know their feelings, others have opinions, but don’t know what’s in our hearts and mind!
This is the Zach I have always loved. Being truthful, sorting through life, trying to find and build the better you. Both you and Alister are admirable. The best to both of you.
Both of you are so blessed to have found each other. Thousands of us support your marriage and ongoing relationship. Hang in there. God blessed both of you.
it takes a lot of courage to be as vulnerable as you were in this video, thanks for sharing Zach! i'm glad you're doing better & that your relationship is better too
Zach, thank you for being authentic and vulnerable. Trauma can take control of your life in ways that we can't comprehend, and when you're not prepared, it can be devastating. I blocked my trauma memories for years, not knowing why I would go through bouts of depression. It made no sense to me, especially when everything seemed to be going well. But when those memories came flooding back, I felt utterly destroyed. No clue as to how to handle all these new emotions that were moving through my head at an incredibly rapid pace. It's taken me eight years to see it getting further and further into the distance. I guess what I'm saying in this long comment is that you will get there and persevere. You and Alastair seem great together and I wish you both a very long and incredible future.
So nice to see two REAL human beings be soulmates! You two break every stereotype that the media and so-called "advocacy" groups create. You allow straight people to see, like, and love the real person.
I know that God will repay y'all with so much kindness for sharing this with us, Zack...I actually cried when Alaistar and you parted ways for this deployment......Some things are better left shown rather than explained......
If if and buts were candy and nuts it would be Christmas all year long. Bottom line you two stuck together and loved and supported each other to make it 7 years. Don’t let the guilt build up to the point you explode or fall apart. Depression, anxiety can take hold and smother you and those around you. I hope you continue to work on the issues and remind yourself you are worthy and obvious you are loved.
I love the self reflection ! You feeling like you were too young is so real 💯 Time is so precious and building that bond through marriage is something not a lot of people will experience. I hope after these years of living and learning, you appreciate your wants too. We all have a balance to function on and your hubby is AMAZING for standing strong and letting you figure yourself out. Don’t be so hard on yourself I’d say you do one HELL of a job! You can only do your best and none of us are ever perfect ❤️🩹I’ve been here since 2018 and you guys will re create your reality in any way necessary. LOVE YOU GUYS ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Been married to the same guy for 35 years. The 7 Year Itch is real. You spend 3 years merging your identities and then the next 3 years discovering yourself and how you are different. The trick is to realize that you learned about yourself *through* him. So you merge together again until you feel like its too much and then you start to work on yourself again. It's an ongoing cycle of interdependence and independence, of giving up your "self" and discovering yourself in the process.... Hang in there.
I always admire and appreciate how vulnerable you are with us. Thank you for sharing ❤️ I’m glad you were able to reflect and realize what worked and what didn’t and how to course correct. Very mature of you!
I started watching your channel right before you met Allister & was watching your relationship grow. But, at that age, you really think you know it all and are ready for anything when you're not. A great man can grow, and if you realize your mistakes and own up to them, you are becoming a better man and a better husband. When I read your title, I thought it was going to be some bad news. I can understand every single word you spoke about and glad you worked through the problems. I'm glad you are still together continue to grow older together.
I relate to this so much. I'm not married but I'm in a 10+ year relationship with someone who's 12 years older than me. We met when I was 31, and 2 years into our relationship I started to lean into unresolved personal traumas, and self sabotage was my go to because of past hurts. Thankfully he stuck with me through it, and because of him I feel like he gave me the space to grow and handle my shit. Looking back now I think I realize that when you have a sense of stability, that is when your hurts and traumas start to bubble up, because it gives you the safety and time to go through it... I think it's just part of growing, and in a relationship it's growing together. I really enjoyed this video, it really hit home for me.
This video is the BEST of all of your videos. So real! So honest! At the end of the day, you both met each other. A very special gift. God bless you all!
Hang in there, gentlemen! A year flies by really quickly. Just keep yourself, Zack, occupied with whatever YOU enjoy doing. Before you realize it, Allister will be back to you and the doggie. Much love, gentlemen!! Stay blessed and encouraged!! 😎 ❤🙏🏾😊
This video got me emotional 😭 but look at it this way, getting married so young and having the pressure of already having the commitment of marriage is what helped you realize that you had to make changes in your life to mature and become a better person not only for you, but for your husband and your relationship.
As someone that has been a fan of this channel since your first video, I must say I am impressed with your maturity over the years. being vulnerable isn't an easy thing but it helps us grow in the right direction. Thanks Man. I learned a lot and now see things in a new light. All the best. Much Love from #Africa #Namibia
Zach. I’ve been following and watching you since the beginning. Watching you grow has been a great thing. You’ve shown us all how REAL you are and don’t ever change that. We all have our different journeys and in the end will make us the person we are now. I love you and Alastair together. I see you two and hope I can one day live up to something like that with my partner. Keep your head up. Keep working on yourself and you will have nothing but great things ahead of you! Big hugs!
My husband and I met when we were both 27 and we've been married for 30 years this year. How old you are when you get married has little to do with having a long-term partnership. Basic compatibility is key, certainly, but BOTH of you are going to change and evolve over your years together. The key is going through these changes >>together
Found on road dead (ford), I am going to speak to other observers rather than Zach. Zach already knows how much I respect him and Alastair. Zach nice to see AZB, all of you if you have never seen azb you are missing a great intellectual, emotional and friendship experience. Zach on his own and Zach and Alastair as a team bring real life to us in an amazing way. Patreon with these guys is incredible. Zach I don’t want to sound like a commercial but I hold you in such high regard for your ability to share real life thought and emotion. Love you both as always Brad. Great vlog my friend.
Yall this made me ball my eyes out the connection between you and Allister is ine we all dream of finding how special it is for you 2 to have each other thank you Allister for your service and sacrifices you've made prayers for a SAFE DEPLOYMENT and a super fast year for zach and you !
Just had a chance to watch this whole video and your sincerity and honesty were truly touching. You’ve come a long way and it really shows. There were also a lot of gems in here I will take with me and apply in my own life. Proud of you Zach 👍
Great reveal into addiction and trauma. Your honesty admirable and healing not only to you Zach, but to those who can relate. Thanks for realizing the power of recognizing how we impact others and most importantly the work required to begin the healing process. It all begins with our truth inventory. Alastair has been unconditional in his love and a true soulmate with the gift of patience & compassion. You are both truly blessed to have each other. Please follow-up on your journey into healing and how you accomplished resolving your traumatic issues as we are all a "work-in-progress!" The learning is powerful.
I have enjoyed your videos of you love story.. I been a fan when it was just you and your dog.. and when you both meet. And I was so touched when you and him had the little airport seen, it was so sweet.. 😊
Congratulations to both of you. i waited too long, always thinking that Mr Right will be along. I am now 72 and he still hasn't arrived, but its all good. You are such lovely guys. Best wishes from Southampton, England 🇬🇧🏴❤️💕
Self sabotage could be the title of the story of my early life. I could be in the middle of a relationship thinking about how it was going to end and then thinking well hell, why wait, I’m going to ruin this now and get it over with. My last long term relationship ended like that and I haven’t gone back in on a serious relationship because I don’t know that I won’t do it again. My relationship with my mother growing up and even now has filled me with such anger because of things she did, things she allowed to happen to me and her utter refusal to accept any responsibility for her bad choices and how I got burnt by them. I always tell people that if they want to know what my mother is like, watch Prince of Tides, she’s very much the mother in that movie. If you don’t talk about things, they never happened and you can just forget them and that just draws a rage out of me when I think about how shitty my childhood was and the fact that she just tells me that if I choose to be miserable, it’s my fault. Trauma is a bitch, I’m glad you faced your demons and were able to put them in check.
Trauma knocked me off my path in early childhood. Talk about not having skills to manage! Time is on your side, Zach, and your recent insights and efforts will see you through.
First, I just want to say thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing. You had me in tears. I identify with a lot of what you were talking about. Especially when it comes to trauma. I’ve been in three relationships. All three with partners that brought a lot of trauma. What I did in those relationships was to suppress my trauma to attend to my partner’s. Once they were in a better place, and on a journey of healing, they broke up with me. Each relationship chipped away at my self-esteem and was mentally and physically abusive. At the end of my last relationship. I took a hard look at my life and decided it was time I worked on myself. Today, I am the person I want to be and continue to work on loving me. It’s so great to hear you be so reflective and doing that very hard work of becoming your whole healthy self. Stay strong in love and have much faith in yourself.
Zach I was with you from the beginning with the captain Alistair seeing you get married mature enough and now you're settling down to be husband and husband to your husband what I think that you are doing is maturing taking time to yourself to get mentally and physically slimmed and trimmed you have finally grown to be your own man that is one of the best things in life to do being married too young should not be on your vocabulary it is up to the own individual if the person wanted to be married to each other that has a common interest along with your interest thank you once again for this video this is bruce the vet. Thank you Zach.. And captain Alastair ❤
Adolescent frontal lobe development is a real thing. Young brains are not ready to make good decisions until 25 years old. You are normal and this is the way brains work.
Man! I'm 51, also in a relationship with my partner in the Army. Everything you've expressed here I can relate with 100%. Even though I was older when I got in my relationship I was no better equipped and could've been your twin in how awful I was and the sabotaging crap I did. Hearing you express these same thoughts is so therapeutic for me. You're smart as hell to recognize your faults and that you can express what you've learned through them is the best ANY person can hope to do in their lives. You and Alistair make a great couple. Thanks for this video, couldn't have been easy, but is important for you and your viewers. You take good care Zack.
This made me cry but it's so life affirming to see that you're trying to come out the other side and be stronger for it. I'm sorry that you put Alastair though so much needless b.s. but the important thing is, you have recognized it and you appreciate him. You're very articulate and intelligent and this video was very insightful.
You are an incredible person Zach such a strong person who wears your heart on your sleeve. It’s such a big deal what you both have gone through and sacrificed a huge amount. I am so happy that you are both back together because you are such a beautiful couple you both deserve all the love and happiness together. I am always here to support you both so much I hope you both do not have to go through this again. Love you both go celebrate your lives together and your potential future in NYC but first come to Sydney for my wedding next December xxxx
My boyfriend and I have been dating as long as you both and are the same age too! We moved in together after about 6 months of dating. I agree those first months together were the hardest. Communication is key to a long lasting relationship 💙
Man one of the main reasons why I love your channel so much is because you’re always so transparent and vulnerable with us. From your first video up until now.. man.. I was here during those early days and I’m still here with you and now with Your hubby as well… I’m so happy that you two are still together despite all of the things that you guys been through. So happy that even though you put A through that stuff he didn’t leave you. He’s a real one for that. Please continue to treat each other good.. none of us are perfect and we never will be.. all we can do is try not to make the same mistakes.. happy to see you doing well man fr.. love you and A ❤️❤️
3:13 That video from the car of you two saying goodbye, no dialogue, was surprisingly moving. Your faces were hardly discernible but we all knew what was going on. Since then, you have acquired plenty of wisdom, thank you for sharing it with us.
I know you guys do this channel for yourselves, but ive followed since the beginning and you've done so much for me advice wise. Thanks for all your videos! looking forward to many more. (Also finally gave in and just ordered a Helix mattress haha)
Zach, you look GREAT! I love the two of you. Love is grand. You are both lucky men. I’m looking forward to seeing more videos and thanks for posting this. The title scared the heck out of me and I clicked quickly to make sure everything was ok. Always remember to love each other. ♥️♥️
30:46 Be careful not to convert growth into guilt, especially after positive change has been made. Guilt can be a trickster that stifles growth and clouds the present. You've clearly made progress. Seize the change, let go of the guilt. We all need wake-up calls in life - cherish hearing them and getting your ass in gear to do what needs doing - GOOD ON YOU! It ain't easy...CONGRATS. Your message will resonate to others - again, GOOD ON YOU!!
You are having separation anxiety. There's always the unknown, especially when someone is in the military. When someone goes into a conflict area there's always an increased risk of harm coming to your loved one. People in Ukraine and Israel know that feeling even though they are in the same areas. Be strong and be faithful
My heart can barely contain the love I have for you both. Much warmth and support, angels. You were who you were. He was who he was. You needed a man that could help show you the way. He was there for you and loved you enough and had the commitment to stay with you. There is no “too young.” When you know better, you do better. Now you know. Keep loving each other.
Zach! Welcome to being a survivor! You love Alastair enough to want to be with him! Congrats for knowing what you really wanted and you always kept the “end” in mine! To be with Alastair all your life! Love is worth it! ❤️
This is so vunerable & real. As someone who got married at 21 & had our first kid at 22, this is so relatable. In December we will celebrate are 25th anniversary. We are all works in progress! I hope you are proud of the work you have done & continue to do on yourself. It takes courage to admit your mistakes & grow
Beautiful, vulnerable, honest. This is 5 ⭐️ content. Thank you. I think most of us can identify with your story. I know I can. I also know that you were supposed to get married when you did. While we might not always be proud of or content with our past, it is what helps us grow, shapes us, hopefully into better, kinder, more empathetic and compassionate human beings. Sending love and good vibes your way❤
I check in from time to time and wow, how you’ve grown. I’m so proud of you. You’ve renewed my faith in the power of love. It sounds sappy but it’s heartfelt and true. Godspeed Zach
I think the communication factor is key to the success of a relationship/marriage. Keeping Alistair informed about what you are feeling and going through is paramount. Its clear you guys love each other so keep the lines of communication going. More laughter....looking back at your earlier videos I love it when you are laughing together. Hang in there your a lucky man and you know it!
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I remember when you were a college student vlogging about dating and being out. You've come a long way, my man!
and his accent was not as thick
Same I just commented this!!
Had you not married too young, you may not have realized what you needed to work through, because your partner was not there to hold your hand in the process. That could have let the issues go unaddressed far later in life, causing much greater distress. I hope you some time can reach the conclusion that Alastair arrived in your life not only to love you, but to help you become your best self... and that is what makes a marriage at any age totally worth while :)
So glad that you have reappeared after such a long absence and with such mature reflections on your self journey, love and marriage. Best of what life can offer to both of you!
It will NOT be the same. But you have the tool of communication to overcome it.😝
@@wwrover697that's not a mature reflection it's called their opinion on the subject
Thanks for being so vulnerable..Been with my husband for 44 years and have been through everything. Hang on and enjoy the ride..it gets better every year.
When Alastair cries, the world cries 😭😭😭💔
But deployment is OVER and he's back! 🍾🤗💜💜💜💜
Congratulations on 7 years. Today marks 6 years of marriage with my hubby🎉. Marriage has many ups and downs. Communication is key. Talk to him when you can. And stay open
Wish you the best
There’s a lot of straight marriages that don’t last this long.
Going on 7 years as a gay couple it has its ups and downs but we always get through it together
Gone through 2 marriages, first at 41, second at 53. Everything you said was spot on, and I was a lot older. Can't learn how to live in a relationship without being in one. I can tell you about wonderful marriages that started very young because they grew up together. I can tell you, from my own experience, that you spiral and fall apart at any age. I am proud of your honesty and Alistar for "keeping his eyes on the prize." Zach, you are the prize for Alistar, and he knows it as much as you know he is the prize for you. Keep working on being the best YOU that you can be.
It is called growing up. You look great. Always enjoy hanging out with you. Thanks for taking the time.
Zach, I really appreciate the vulnerability. Being able to look back and realize your mistakes and then put in the effort to make the change to get the life you both deserve is amazing, the effort is definitely apparent in this video alone but also your last couple of social media posts. I love this for you and I’m looking forward to see what the future holds for you both. Much love!!! 🌈❤️
great response. Feel same way about Zach's openness. So glad he shared.
I got together with my partner, now husband, when I was 20. Forty years later and we are still very happily married and will be together for the rest of our lives!
dude you are a lucky one...
I relate so hard to this, my husband is on deployment. He left January and won’t see him for another 2-3 months so I understand. That moment after you drop them off and you get ugh, that absence is so loud. I wouldn’t wish that pain and loneliness on anyone. I’ll join your Patreon just so we can connect, I know we can relate on this. We got this!❤
Mine is gone again too. But he’s retiring after. But he’ll be gone til June 2025. And when Alistair said next summer it looks like he’s deployed til then too. But could be wrong.
You and Alastair are a couple of good, decent, honorable men, Zach. You don't follow whatever is trendy and fashionable. You are faithful to each other even when you are thousands of miles apart. For men like you, there is no such thing as "getting married too young," as if that was some bad decision. You two are that rare and real thing: two men in true love who truly understand what true love demands and requires--fidelity, honor, duty, sacrifice, and mercy. Take it from me, a guy who just ended his four-year "open relationship," who slept around with other men, many times even while "my man" was right there in the living room, both of us pretending that what we were doing was perfectly fine. It was not. I wish I knew it then, but what we were doing was far from fine. It was a mutually agreed delusion that gradually corroded the soul, a trendy farce that led only to a mutually assured destruction. Take it from me, who is now in therapy, working hard to patch myself up all over again. Godspeed, man!
I hope things get better from here. I was in a similar situation and made it through. It's been good since.
No offense but I never understood the appeal of an open relationship like what's the point and is it even a real relationship? Your saying u have a partner while sleeping around at the same time I don't get it
These two were married from the start
Trust is critical in any relationship. What you described with your open relationship defines the term - "short term gain for long term pain." Basic human decency and respect as displayed with Zach & Alastair requires commitment and discipline. They are helping to show what is possible when respect is prioritize and commitments honored. It can be a very lonely life in these challenging times without a lifetime committed partner. Best Wishes on your healing journey into a healthy relationship.
You’re always learning and growing. The person you are today is not the person you’ll be tomorrow. You have a good head on your shoulders and you have a good man. Keep growing for the positive!
Zachary! You got me all 😢 😭, I can't watch you guys being sad and saying goodbye even though I know he's already home. Glad you've worked on yourself and now you're being the husband Alastair deserves. ❤❤❤
I applaud you for being so vulnerable! You have come a long way, be proud of yourself!
Haven't even watched the video yet and just browsing the comments. Most of them are so sweet and nice, it really warms my heart just to know there are so many kind ppl out there!
"Domestication" is certainly a worthwhile objective.
Zach, thank you for sharing your journey through RUclips. It’s been therapy for us all. Please know that it’s helpful to countless others who are getting through life the best we can. Especially myself. I have only one suggestion for you from watching and listening to you these past 5 or 6 years, keep living in the present and planning for the future as much as you can. its so easy to get caught up in the past and find yourself deep in depression because of what you think you shoulda done , or what's been done to you. as long as you and Alister love each other and care for each other and pray for the same things together, you both will continue to help each other grow and thrive.
love you both. stay strong for each other , and we all will certainly keep you in thought and prayer.
Somehow , I wish i could do more to give you a lift….. oh… " You Look Amazing" !!!! 🤗
Bro I almost had heart attack because of the title 😭
Right?!?! I wuz skuuurrt!!! Such wonderful guys!
Me too!
Please these two are the clickbait kings.
They come around when they need an endorsement and money.
@@Mntguy-nr9vl Why are you here?
Same!
This video surprised me when it appeared in my feed. It's been a few months, and I was a bit surprised how much I had missed the both of you.
It's odd how you can become attached to people you've never met or spoke to in person and most likely never will, but at the same time, can have a significant impact on you.
Glad you two are still together and making it work.
Sounds like Alistair was the wake up call you needed back then.
You're lucky. You have what a lot of couples gay & straight couples want. Someone who truly loves them unconditionally.
Amen!
I know people that got married later in life in their 50s and got divorced. Trauma knows no age. When you find your person no matter what age, hang on to him, because they are few & far between & boy did you get lucky with Alastair. He is a keeper. Have watched u since Bark in the Park and you have grown up in the past few years, grown up enough to appreciate what you have, so keep him close & never let him go
Why would anyone appreciate someone leaving to go play army man
You are an amazing person because you continue to try to improve yourself, and make your relationship a priority, you have realized that you need to make an effort for yourself, and for Alastair. I’M PROUD OF YOU!!’
Zach, Happy Birthday 🎈🎂. Cancers are the best men in this universe.
Nah we have to fight after this title. Don’t ever do that again!😂😂😂
They’ve been doing the clickbait for years 😬
@@jpierce8148 I know. 😂😂😂
I purposefully didn’t click on this video because I thought it was a break up video too. 😢
Zach thanks for your honesty! Stop by so hard on yourself. Just know that both of your life stories has help me and so many other people. It’s has been great watching both of you grow. Hang in there. The two of you are meant to be together! Thanks again and love you both!
“Too young “ is a relative term, imho. Depends on the people involved. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to be with another human being; life isn’t a Hallmark movie. You may well have met Alastair to enable/encourage you to work through the shit. I fell in love at 18; we didn’t marry until I was 23 but I would have earlier if circumstances had permitted. I was very insecure; she had issues from an abusive family. Whether it was appropriate or not, we essentially helped each other through and grew, probably because we did really love each other. Yesterday we celebrated our 45th with our beautiful sons and grandchildren. That stretch hasn’t been without its bumps, but has been a rich, wonderful experience. You’re still together and in love. Embrace it all and value it. It’s part of who you are as a couple. I hope that you have an equally long and fulfilling life together. Xxx😅
That is the best, most loving comment from a straight ally that I have heard in a long time. Listen to this man, Zach...he knows what he is talking about!
@@brianmatthews1736 There aren't really allys and enemies it's more a you do you deal
Love you guys! The pain of separation can't fully be put into words.
That was really deep, Zach and shows a tremendous amount of growth.
You guys are meant for each other and nothing will ever break you apart the love you have for each other is Beautiful sending love to you both God Bless You Both ❤️
You need to let go of your imposter syndrome. You’re both lovely men & you’ve made it this far & you’re going to be ok. Love you!
Met my husband senior year and got engaged 1 year after dating. Everyone in his family was scared because he never dated anyone before. We were both 21 when we got married. In May we just had our 27th anniversary and have been together 31 years. Only the 2 people in the relationship know their feelings, others have opinions, but don’t know what’s in our hearts and mind!
This is the Zach I have always loved. Being truthful, sorting through life, trying to find and build the better you. Both you and Alister are admirable. The best to both of you.
Both of you are so blessed to have found each other. Thousands of us support your marriage and ongoing relationship. Hang in there. God blessed both of you.
Congratulations on the clarity. You are worthy of Alastair's love and you deserve to be happy.
it takes a lot of courage to be as vulnerable as you were in this video, thanks for sharing Zach! i'm glad you're doing better & that your relationship is better too
You're a good husband, I can't wait for him to be back because seeing you two together is just amazing
Zach, thank you for being authentic and vulnerable. Trauma can take control of your life in ways that we can't comprehend, and when you're not prepared, it can be devastating. I blocked my trauma memories for years, not knowing why I would go through bouts of depression. It made no sense to me, especially when everything seemed to be going well. But when those memories came flooding back, I felt utterly destroyed. No clue as to how to handle all these new emotions that were moving through my head at an incredibly rapid pace. It's taken me eight years to see it getting further and further into the distance. I guess what I'm saying in this long comment is that you will get there and persevere. You and Alastair seem great together and I wish you both a very long and incredible future.
So nice to see two REAL human beings be soulmates! You two break every stereotype that the media and so-called "advocacy" groups create. You allow straight people to see, like, and love the real person.
I know that God will repay y'all with so much kindness for sharing this with us, Zack...I actually cried when Alaistar and you parted ways for this deployment......Some things are better left shown rather than explained......
To the person reading this, even though I don't know you. I wish you the best of what life has to offer 🙏🙌😊❤️👋
Same to you! Thank you!!
@@PipesPlayer1980 😊👋
You too
@@Jeffery-ue3yo 😊👋
If if and buts were candy and nuts it would be Christmas all year long. Bottom line you two stuck together and loved and supported each other to make it 7 years. Don’t let the guilt build up to the point you explode or fall apart. Depression, anxiety can take hold and smother you and those around you. I hope you continue to work on the issues and remind yourself you are worthy and obvious you are loved.
Yes this type of video is very valuable, actually much more than regular vlogs.
I love the self reflection ! You feeling like you were too young is so real 💯 Time is so precious and building that bond through marriage is something not a lot of people will experience. I hope after these years of living and learning, you appreciate your wants too. We all have a balance to function on and your hubby is AMAZING for standing strong and letting you figure yourself out. Don’t be so hard on yourself I’d say you do one HELL of a job! You can only do your best and none of us are ever perfect ❤️🩹I’ve been here since 2018 and you guys will re create your reality in any way necessary. LOVE YOU GUYS ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Been married to the same guy for 35 years. The 7 Year Itch is real. You spend 3 years merging your identities and then the next 3 years discovering yourself and how you are different. The trick is to realize that you learned about yourself *through* him. So you merge together again until you feel like its too much and then you start to work on yourself again. It's an ongoing cycle of interdependence and independence, of giving up your "self" and discovering yourself in the process.... Hang in there.
I always admire and appreciate how vulnerable you are with us. Thank you for sharing ❤️ I’m glad you were able to reflect and realize what worked and what didn’t and how to course correct. Very mature of you!
I started watching your channel right before you met Allister & was watching your relationship grow. But, at that age, you really think you know it all and are ready for anything when you're not. A great man can grow, and if you realize your mistakes and own up to them, you are becoming a better man and a better husband. When I read your title, I thought it was going to be some bad news.
I can understand every single word you spoke about and glad you worked through the problems. I'm glad you are still together continue to grow older together.
I relate to this so much. I'm not married but I'm in a 10+ year relationship with someone who's 12 years older than me. We met when I was 31, and 2 years into our relationship I started to lean into unresolved personal traumas, and self sabotage was my go to because of past hurts. Thankfully he stuck with me through it, and because of him I feel like he gave me the space to grow and handle my shit. Looking back now I think I realize that when you have a sense of stability, that is when your hurts and traumas start to bubble up, because it gives you the safety and time to go through it... I think it's just part of growing, and in a relationship it's growing together. I really enjoyed this video, it really hit home for me.
A Gay man, always supports another Gay man 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🧿🧿🧿✝️✝️✝️
This video is the BEST of all of your videos. So real! So honest! At the end of the day, you both met each other. A very special gift. God bless you all!
Hang in there, gentlemen! A year flies by really quickly. Just keep yourself, Zack, occupied with whatever YOU enjoy doing. Before you realize it, Allister will be back to you and the doggie.
Much love, gentlemen!! Stay blessed and encouraged!! 😎 ❤🙏🏾😊
Happy 30th!
A lot of wisdom is realizing what you should have done, too late, and learning from it. Give Alastair everything you know he deserves.
Zach your husband loves u with all his heart never question that you 2 make a perfect couple
This video got me emotional 😭 but look at it this way, getting married so young and having the pressure of already having the commitment of marriage is what helped you realize that you had to make changes in your life to mature and become a better person not only for you, but for your husband and your relationship.
As someone that has been a fan of this channel since your first video, I must say I am impressed with your maturity over the years. being vulnerable isn't an easy thing but it helps us grow in the right direction. Thanks Man. I learned a lot and now see things in a new light. All the best. Much Love from #Africa #Namibia
I love the switch to long format videos happy to embrace whatever your put out. Always a pleasure seeing you and Alastair!
Zach. I’ve been following and watching you since the beginning. Watching you grow has been a great thing. You’ve shown us all how REAL you are and don’t ever change that. We all have our different journeys and in the end will make us the person we are now.
I love you and Alastair together. I see you two and hope I can one day live up to something like that with my partner.
Keep your head up. Keep working on yourself and you will have nothing but great things ahead of you! Big hugs!
You both are in my prayers. Alex we can not wait till your 9 months are up. You will be missed.. Please stay safe. my friend. We TEXANS support you.
My husband and I met when we were both 27 and we've been married for 30 years this year. How old you are when you get married has little to do with having a long-term partnership. Basic compatibility is key, certainly, but BOTH of you are going to change and evolve over your years together. The key is going through these changes >>together
Found on road dead (ford), I am going to speak to other observers rather than Zach. Zach already knows how much I respect him and Alastair. Zach nice to see AZB, all of you if you have never seen azb you are missing a great intellectual, emotional and friendship experience. Zach on his own and Zach and Alastair as a team bring real life to us in an amazing way. Patreon with these guys is incredible. Zach I don’t want to sound like a commercial but I hold you in such high regard for your ability to share real life thought and emotion. Love you both as always Brad. Great vlog my friend.
Love your openness and honesty stay strong. Love from the Netherlands Amsterdam🌷
Yall this made me ball my eyes out the connection between you and Allister is ine we all dream of finding how special it is for you 2 to have each other thank you Allister for your service and sacrifices you've made prayers for a SAFE DEPLOYMENT and a super fast year for zach and you !
*bawl
Just had a chance to watch this whole video and your sincerity and honesty were truly touching. You’ve come a long way and it really shows. There were also a lot of gems in here I will take with me and apply in my own life. Proud of you Zach 👍
Great reveal into addiction and trauma. Your honesty admirable and healing not only to you Zach, but to those who can relate. Thanks for realizing the power of recognizing how we impact others and most importantly the work required to begin the healing process. It all begins with our truth inventory.
Alastair has been unconditional in his love and a true soulmate with the gift of patience & compassion. You are both truly blessed to have each other. Please follow-up on your journey into healing and how you accomplished resolving your traumatic issues as we are all a "work-in-progress!" The learning is powerful.
I have enjoyed your videos of you love story.. I been a fan when it was just you and your dog.. and when you both meet. And I was so touched when you and him had the little airport seen, it was so sweet.. 😊
Congratulations to both of you. i waited too long, always thinking that Mr Right will be along. I am now 72 and he still hasn't arrived, but its all good. You are such lovely guys. Best wishes from Southampton, England 🇬🇧🏴❤️💕
❤
Self sabotage could be the title of the story of my early life. I could be in the middle of a relationship thinking about how it was going to end and then thinking well hell, why wait, I’m going to ruin this now and get it over with. My last long term relationship ended like that and I haven’t gone back in on a serious relationship because I don’t know that I won’t do it again. My relationship with my mother growing up and even now has filled me with such anger because of things she did, things she allowed to happen to me and her utter refusal to accept any responsibility for her bad choices and how I got burnt by them. I always tell people that if they want to know what my mother is like, watch Prince of Tides, she’s very much the mother in that movie. If you don’t talk about things, they never happened and you can just forget them and that just draws a rage out of me when I think about how shitty my childhood was and the fact that she just tells me that if I choose to be miserable, it’s my fault. Trauma is a bitch, I’m glad you faced your demons and were able to put them in check.
Trauma knocked me off my path in early childhood. Talk about not having skills to manage! Time is on your side, Zach, and your recent insights and efforts will see you through.
This recap made me think back to watching all these old videos during Covid.
First, I just want to say thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing. You had me in tears. I identify with a lot of what you were talking about. Especially when it comes to trauma. I’ve been in three relationships. All three with partners that brought a lot of trauma. What I did in those relationships was to suppress my trauma to attend to my partner’s.
Once they were in a better place, and on a journey of healing, they broke up with me. Each relationship chipped away at my self-esteem and was mentally and physically abusive.
At the end of my last relationship. I took a hard look at my life and decided it was time I worked on myself. Today, I am the person I want to be and continue to work on loving me.
It’s so great to hear you be so reflective and doing that very hard work of becoming your whole healthy self. Stay strong in love and have much faith in yourself.
The raw honesty of this all is amazing! Been following your journey forever. Love you guys. ❤
Zach I was with you from the beginning with the captain Alistair seeing you get married mature enough and now you're settling down to be husband and husband to your husband what I think that you are doing is maturing taking time to yourself to get mentally and physically slimmed and trimmed you have finally grown to be your own man that is one of the best things in life to do being married too young should not be on your vocabulary it is up to the own individual if the person wanted to be married to each other that has a common interest along with your interest thank you once again for this video this is bruce the vet. Thank you Zach.. And captain Alastair ❤
Adolescent frontal lobe development is a real thing. Young brains are not ready to make good decisions until 25 years old. You are normal and this is the way brains work.
I'm so proud of u as a fan that you found your soul mate hey I'm still looking for mine and I'm almost 40
Man! I'm 51, also in a relationship with my partner in the Army. Everything you've expressed here I can relate with 100%. Even though I was older when I got in my relationship I was no better equipped and could've been your twin in how awful I was and the sabotaging crap I did. Hearing you express these same thoughts is so therapeutic for me. You're smart as hell to recognize your faults and that you can express what you've learned through them is the best ANY person can hope to do in their lives. You and Alistair make a great couple. Thanks for this video, couldn't have been easy, but is important for you and your viewers. You take good care Zack.
This made me cry but it's so life affirming to see that you're trying to come out the other side and be stronger for it. I'm sorry that you put Alastair though so much needless b.s. but the important thing is, you have recognized it and you appreciate him. You're very articulate and intelligent and this video was very insightful.
I love your video style. It pulls at the heart strings.
You are an incredible person Zach such a strong person who wears your heart on your sleeve. It’s such a big deal what you both have gone through and sacrificed a huge amount.
I am so happy that you are both back together because you are such a beautiful couple you both deserve all the love and happiness together.
I am always here to support you both so much I hope you both do not have to go through this again.
Love you both go celebrate your lives together and your potential future in NYC but first come to Sydney for my wedding next December xxxx
My boyfriend and I have been dating as long as you both and are the same age too! We moved in together after about 6 months of dating. I agree those first months together were the hardest. Communication is key to a long lasting relationship 💙
Thank you ,stay strong, And Thanks for your service Alistair. God speed.
just an amazing video. be proud of the man you have become.
Man one of the main reasons why I love your channel so much is because you’re always so transparent and vulnerable with us. From your first video up until now.. man.. I was here during those early days and I’m still here with you and now with Your hubby as well… I’m so happy that you two are still together despite all of the things that you guys been through. So happy that even though you put A through that stuff he didn’t leave you. He’s a real one for that. Please continue to treat each other good.. none of us are perfect and we never will be.. all we can do is try not to make the same mistakes.. happy to see you doing well man fr.. love you and A ❤️❤️
I admire your growth and transparency.
3:13 That video from the car of you two saying goodbye, no dialogue, was surprisingly moving. Your faces were hardly discernible but we all knew what was going on. Since then, you have acquired plenty of wisdom, thank you for sharing it with us.
I know you guys do this channel for yourselves, but ive followed since the beginning and you've done so much for me advice wise. Thanks for all your videos! looking forward to many more. (Also finally gave in and just ordered a Helix mattress haha)
Zach, you look GREAT! I love the two of you. Love is grand. You are both lucky men. I’m looking forward to seeing more videos and thanks for posting this. The title scared the heck out of me and I clicked quickly to make sure everything was ok. Always remember to love each other. ♥️♥️
30:46 Be careful not to convert growth into guilt, especially after positive change has been made. Guilt can be a trickster that stifles growth and clouds the present. You've clearly made progress. Seize the change, let go of the guilt. We all need wake-up calls in life - cherish hearing them and getting your ass in gear to do what needs doing - GOOD ON YOU! It ain't easy...CONGRATS. Your message will resonate to others - again, GOOD ON YOU!!
You are having separation anxiety. There's always the unknown, especially when someone is in the military. When someone goes into a conflict area there's always an increased risk of harm coming to your loved one. People in Ukraine and Israel know that feeling even though they are in the same areas. Be strong and be faithful
Happy 4th Boys!☺️
My heart can barely contain the love I have for you both. Much warmth and support, angels.
You were who you were.
He was who he was.
You needed a man that could help show you the way.
He was there for you and loved you enough and had the commitment to stay with you.
There is no “too young.”
When you know better, you do better. Now you know. Keep loving each other.
Zach! Welcome to being a survivor! You love Alastair enough to want to be with him! Congrats for knowing what you really wanted and you always kept the “end” in mine! To be with Alastair all your life! Love is worth it! ❤️
I love your store, especially being so authentic and real, many people can learn a lot from you store, thank you for sharing!
Thank you for your service. I hope time flies for both of you.
I've watched y'all journey for a few years now and y'all are so blessed to have each other to love and cherish each moment 🌈❤️
This is so vunerable & real. As someone who got married at 21 & had our first kid at 22, this is so relatable. In December we will celebrate are 25th anniversary. We are all works in progress! I hope you are proud of the work you have done & continue to do on yourself. It takes courage to admit your mistakes & grow
What a great video ❤ thank you for being so candid and articulate with your journey. Sending you both a lifetime of happiness
You are so articulate and knowledgeable about relationships. I really appreciate your thoughts on marriage and communication. Thanks!
Beautiful, vulnerable, honest. This is 5 ⭐️ content. Thank you. I think most of us can identify with your story. I know I can. I also know that you were supposed to get married when you did. While we might not always be proud of or content with our past, it is what helps us grow, shapes us, hopefully into better, kinder, more empathetic and compassionate human beings. Sending love and good vibes your way❤
Thank you for sharing. I love listening to your story. Wish you 2 all the best 🎉 (I’m looking at the Helix King)
Zack, Please stop smoking! You are looking so much better. Smoking is nothing but a dead end.
I check in from time to time and wow, how you’ve grown. I’m so proud of you. You’ve renewed my faith in the power of love. It sounds sappy but it’s heartfelt and true. Godspeed Zach
I think the communication factor is key to the success of a relationship/marriage. Keeping Alistair informed about what you are feeling and going through is paramount. Its clear you guys love each other so keep the lines of communication going. More laughter....looking back at your earlier videos I love it when you are laughing together. Hang in there your a lucky man and you know it!