Here I am, Colleen! I’m the mom that happily gave her baby formula! I tried to breast feed for the first 2 months but absolutely hated it. I didn’t like the way it felt and it really made me an angry person. Early on, I realized that I didn’t want to be that way. What was most important was for my daughter to have her mom in the best mental space. There were people around me who preached that narrative.. “breast is best!” but honestly it didn’t phase me. I had to do what was best for me and my family. Sometimes I think about how I would like to try it again if I ever had another baby, but I’m NOT going to let society tell me what is best. Do what’s best for you and your family. You’ll be happy you did! ❤️
This! What's the point of feeding them "the best" if you can't be your best? And if it literally makes you feel angry or upset or sad? Learning about breastfeeding aversion was such a relief for me.
Yes Queen mom! I was the same. Breastfed for 6 weeks and then swiftly moved onto formula and didn't look back for both children. They were happy because I was happy. A happy mom has a happy baby. They feel your vibes.
I wish I had less guilt about switching cause I encourage other people to feed their babies however so it shocked me when I had so much guilt over switching. It was the worst and I would not wish those feelings on anyone, I'm so happy you didn't feel bad. I felt so much shame I could barely talk to anyone about for months.
I felt guilt too when I switched, my son was only in the NICU for 5 days but he never really caught on to bf and I was worried about his weight so I just supplemented and struggled to breastfeed for weeks before the stress and anxiety got to me and I just went to formula. Immediately after deciding to switch, the stress and anxiety over his weight and how much I was feeding him disappeared. The guilt over not breastfeeding happens, but it's so much better than what I was feeling before. I won't be having another baby so I'm sad I won't ever get to try exclusively breastfeeding but I don't regret changing to formula.
I’m so glad my comment reached you. I was the one who talked about pumping for 6 months. But please do not shame yourself because you want to be done sooner than that. You grew TWO humans at once and had a hard pregnancy, traumatic delivery, and NICU. You are a literal superhero. Much love. ❤️
Yes! I exclusively pumped for 1 baby for 4 months and almost died!! She’s doing it for two! Plus my baby had reflux and I cut everything out of my diet (dairy, peanuts, eggs, soy, and strawberries), and when I switched her to a hypoallergenic formula she did SO MUCH BETTER! I wish I didn’t blame myself so much, and waited so long, and tortured myself to avoid formula. My mental health and life also improved so much! Go for it Colleen, your babies will do GREAT on formula! It might even help Maisy with her reflux ❤️ much love!!!
@@marcelaboudreau106 Yup. I pumped for six months with one baby and what suffered was my mental health. It was so hard and in retrospect, not really worth it. When I had my second baby I chose to formula feed from day 1 and it was 100% the right decision for me and the rest of my family.
Colleen, my sister and I are twins, and my mom used formula essentially the whole time! She just couldn't keep up with our needs, so made the switch after less than a month. You are not any worse or any better of a mom for breastfeeding or using formula. As long as your babies get what they need, it truly doesn't matter how they get it.
My mom was a lactation counselor. My son was born 3 months ago, and since then we’ve had a difficult breastfeeding journey with nipple trauma, latch issues and mastitis. She said to me, “There is NO shame in switching to formula. You have already given him great nutrients from your colostrum and breastmilk. You are a rockstar.” That was really encouraging for me to hear.
I felt so much breastfeeding guilt. I was miserable and struggling. I broke down in front of the pediatrician, who had just had twins herself. She told me she wasn’t breastfeeding. It was that moment that I thought, 6 weeks of it is good enough. I’m done. If my baby’s doctor is good with it, I can forgive myself and be ok with it too. As always, I think you are awesome and doing a great job!
Twin mom insight: im a twin and my mom said “I could only pump/breast feed for 2 months (maybe 3) and had to stop for my health and just fed the girls formula for the rest of the time. The mom guilt is real but at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you and your babies. Stay strong, you got this!”
Colleen, I’m noticing with you that you are so kind to everyone else, whether it be pregnancy weight gain, post partum bodies, and now feeding babies. But you are so hard on yourself. Colleen you are an amazing mom, and you’re doing a fantastic job feeding those babies. Please remember to be kind to yourself sweet mama! We are all rooting for you 💜
Dear Colleen. I adopted both of my babies. They never had a drop of breast milk. They are now 17 and 18, and healthy brilliant happy amazing young adult humans. Formula rocks. Oh, and nearly 60 years ago I myself was formula fed. Still going strong. Lots of love to you. And give yourself the love. You are crushing this mom of three situation. If you need to “tag you’re it” with formula, the babies will be just perfect. 💜♥️💜♥️💜♥️💜♥️
Hey! I had a problem with breastfeeding and my baby also preferred the bottle. However, I found that using a silicon nipple shield made my boob feel more like a bottle and it made a world of difference. I was able to transition away from the nipple shield after a while by starting a feed with it and then taking it away in the middle of a feed. I have no problems with breastfeeding now. From one sleep deprived mom to another, I hope this helps💖
Yes! This changed everything for me and my son. My milk hadn’t come in when I left the hospital. Went to a lactation consultant and she showed me how to use it. He finally latched and had a GOOD breastfeed! It changed our lives. Such a great tool. We’ve now fully transitioned away from the shield! (But I keep one in the diaper bag just in case)
THIS!! My daughter was a 29 weeker - spent 73 days in the NICU with a feeding tube, then we pumped + fortified after she came home. The nipple shield helped *tremendously* with transitioning to breast. Colleen - I hope you know what an incredible mother you are for what you’ve already done for your babies - no matter what you need to do. And no matter what feeding choices you make after this, you’ll STILL be an incredible mother ❤️ What you’ve been through is REALLY freaking hard. You’re doing great.
Hey Colleen! I know you probably won't see this but I exclusively breastfed my first daughter for 18 months. With my second daughter I switched to formula at 4 months because it was the best choice for HER AND I. Mental health is important too. Babies would much rather have formula and a momma with a healthy mindset than the latter. So if you think of it that way, formula IS the healthier choice sometimes. Thinking about it that way really really helped me with the 'guilt' I was feeling. Sending so so much love!💓
just wanted to let you know that my mom didn’t breastfeed me. i grew up never even having a thought that breastfeeding was or wouldve been better. i’m about to go into senior year with all A’s and an amazing mom. you’re amazing and you will raise your kids amazingly no matter what happens with food.
My son was a preemie, and had a hard time nursing, so after 2 weeks I switched to formula, I also felt like a failure, but he thrived. My daughter nursed like a pro for 18 months. Each baby was so different but both were fed and healthy so I learned not to judge myself so harshly. You're doing great,and you'll be a great mom, whatever you decide to do.
I had twins and "I just used formula the whole time, it was awesome!" Seriously though I couldn't breast feed 2 babies after a very difficult twin HG pregnancy and I dont feel bad about it one bit! I fed them and loved them and they're perfect ♥️♥️
In general, woman always have been more judgmental towards ourselves. That is how the patriarchy wants it. I’d we didn’t feel bad or have low self esteem then we wouldn’t buy stuff to make us feel better and “empowered us”.
Hey Colleen, I'm a twin and my sister and I were formula fed basically from birth. We both turned out totally fine and healthy!! Whatever you decide will be the right choice for you and your family, sending lots of love to y'all
Just here to say, I gave up breastfeeding TWICE it was SO hard and each time I had this same guilt. Even tho I’m SO okay with formula. But once I switched it’s like this huge weight was lifted. Take pics of you breastfeeding and save some milk so you get a breast milk ring or necklace trust me it will help the transition!! Best of luck, you GOT this. You’re a great mom
Colleen, as someone who had a really unfortunate and toxic childhood, I watch your vlogs to remind myself that truly happy, healthy families really can exist. It brings me so much joy to see the love and care you have and express for all your children. Know that as a mother, you are an inspiration and source of comfort to so many.
Hey Colleen! My mom is a single mom and has twins, and I am one of them! She formula-fed my brother and me the entire time, and we turned out great! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Do what’s best for you and your babies! I hope you’re doing well. I love you, and I love watching your videos!
@@aaliyahwheeler5937 I mean, fed is the goal but i wouldn’t call it “the best” that’s just a fact, but that doesn’t mean people are bad for choosing to do that, it’s just factually not the “best”
Honestly, I'm not a mom but watching Colleen raise her babies makes me feel a bit more prepared for motherhood. I kinda want to be a mom and a wife. Her struggles of motherhood makes everything feel so right. I'm gonna do good one day.
A while back my therapist said "when you hear the judgey voice in your head, say to yourself 'self, would you say this to a friend or stranger? " it has taken a couple of years, but it is finally taking root. You are doing a wonderful job, you've got this!
there are so many ways to parent, but the smile on your kid’s faces says it all. you’re an amazing mother and eric is the BEST father i’ve seen in a while. you guys are amazing and beautiful. wishing you the best ❤️
I’m 19 and in college, we have virtually nothing in common and i LOVE you videos. I feel like you are a great mom and that was something I didn’t have. I hope to have a family like yours one day. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling the best about breastfeeding directly but truthfully, the amount of love and time you give to your kids triumphs such a silly thing like that. Be proud mama!!!
Letting your kids play in mud/dirt etc… is SO good for them and their development. I have to remind myself that when my kids make a mess it’s just a sign of them learning and growing and exploring the world around them. You and Erik are incredible parents. INCREDIBLE. Hugs and love to your family. Give yourself grace, mama. You ARE DOING AMAZING ❤️
Colleen, I love when you talk so openly and candidly about this topic. My first daughter was born in April 2021 and breastfeeding was such a struggle. With her being my first baby ever, her having a lip and tongue tie, issues with my supply, and finally her being diagnosed with reflux, it just wasn’t in the cards for us. And for MONTHS I dealt with the guilt and sadness of “failing” at breastfeeding. But now my formula fed baby is thriving. She is so happy and healthy and we found other ways to bond which are just as meaningful as breastfeeding. I can’t imagine how hard it is having 2 new babies and also dealing with those feelings. But thank you for sharing your story! It helps heal my mama heart hearing you talk about these things and I hope it helps heal yours talking about it.
Colleen, you're doing a FANTASTIC job! I was born in the early 70s and my mom will tell you without hesitation how proud she is that she fed me and my younger sister exclusively with formula because she was a professional woman who phenomenally took care of our family AND brought home the bacon during a time when doors were opening like never before for women in the corporate world. To this day, I cannot even express to you how much I admire my mother. Incidentally, I breastfed my two children, and I always felt my mother's love and support while I was a breastfeeding mom, but it never changed the fact that she proudly made her own choices as a mother and I have always been inspired by her to do the same. Your children will admire you and be inspired by you too...you are an amazing, fierce, kicking-down-doors mom 💕!
I breast fed my daughter for 1 week.. and switched to formula because I couldn’t handle the constant need to feed. You’re doing amazing and I appreciate you being raw and real and honest about how you’re feeling and sharing your honest experience. I love you
I’m a twin and my mom used formula the entire time with us as breastfeeding was uncomfortable and difficult for her. Any decision you make for YOU and YOUR kids is going to be the right one as you are the only one who truly understands the situation you are in. You got this Queen and I love you💖
Colleen, don’t mom shame yourself! Your such a great person, friend, daughter, and mom! Tho people might criticize you and your mothering style, you are unique and these kids are so so lucky to have you as a mom! I’m very jealous and I love how kind you are 😻😉
this reminds me of a while ago when you were telling us about how in therapy you guys talked about how you are your own bully. you don’t let yourself off with anything, it’s difficult (i suffer from this too) it’s all about breaking the cycle, but it is REALLY difficult. i’m sure you talking about this is making a million other moms feel better.
Hi Colleen! Fellow b/g twin mom here! My twins were exclusively formula fed. My older son had just turned two when my twins were born and there was just no way I was going to attempt it. I'm in awe of those who can, but I have also never had a days guilt over formula feeding my babies. They were happy, healthy, bonded and will be turning 18 next month! You are doing amazing!
Fellow mama here: My milk supply had been awful from day one of having my baby. I had to supplement with formula before I even left the hospital. My whole breastfeeding journey was pretty awful. My milk supply continued to be low and my baby never had much interest in actually breastfeeding since bottles are much easier. And the pain. Oh the pain of breastfeeding. For me, it was excruciating everytime. It was a huge struggle for both of us. I ended up just exclusively trying to pump to give my baby whatever milk I could get from myself (while also having to use formula). At four months I couldn't do it anymore. Mentally. Physically. It was so very hard. I just couldn't do it. So at that point I made the decision to give my baby only formula. While I felt ALOT of guilt about it, it was honestly the best move I could've made at that point. My baby was absolutely fine and I didn't feel trapped by pumping anymore. I could have my body back..the mental and physical struggle I felt trapped in for that four months I was finally free of. That was huge for me. Oh and my baby is now 2 and a half and doing just fine. So I just want to say, I know some of your struggle mama and I hear you and I feel you! Do whatever you feel you need to do for your beautiful babies and yourself. Fed truly is best. You're doing amazing. You got this. ❤
You can literally be mom shamed for ANYTHING you do as a parent, but girl as long as your kids aren’t being abused, and are fed, clean, happy and are loved then that means you’re an amazing mom 100%. Don’t bring yourself down.
the way you’re feeling is so valid and real. it’s really refreshing to see someone like you who talks about their feeling in a raw, honest way. i really hope the lactation consultant is able to help. you’ve got this! ❤️
"He wanted to play in the mud so we're playing in the mud" Mom of the year right there. 🥰 The amount of parents who don't let their kids do certain fun things just because they might get dirty is sad. I love how you guys always try to give your kiddo fun experiences ❤
I pumped for two months with both of my singleton babies and I stopped for my mental health both times, made plenty of milk. I went through the self mom shaming, I kicked myself so bad for it but both of my baby boys are strong, smart and amazing little boys!
Hi Colleen, I’m not a mom but I am a twin! My mom had breastfeeding issues with my twin sister and I very early on and we were both formula fed for our entire infancy. It’s hard to live in a world where everyone comments on everything, but from an outsider looking in you’re doing a great job! You’re an awesome mom and formula is just as wonderful an option as any other option. Keep it up!!
I exclusively formula fed all 3 of my kids…they’re all teenagers now. They are all healthy and could care less wether their mom fed them with breast milk or formula. Just do what’s best for your mental health. You’re awesome! 💕
I was 17 when I had my first son and wasn’t talked to about breastfeeding or even given a chance to do it. They instantly gave him a bottle and then he was in the NICU. So once I got him home and tried he was already used to a bottle. I can tell you 100% all babies are different. My first 2 sons were exclusively formula fed and were perfectly healthy. However my youngest was sensitive to formula so I breastfed him. He took right to it even though I hadn’t been able to do it with either of my other 2. Whether it’s breast milk or formula your babies will be healthy and happy either way. You’re an amazing momma.
I’m a new momma, my daughter was jaundice and struggled to breastfeed. I pumped and bottle fed her for 2 weeks and it was BRUTAL. On top of it being so hard, I couldn’t believe the emotional toil it took and the struggle to know what was the right thing to do. Thank you for normalizing how difficult feeding babies can be, regardless of how you do it!
I sobbed when I wasn't producing enough milk for my son and I had to give him formula. It was a mix of me feeling like a terrible mother, and the mom shaming of formula feeding. You aren't alone in that at all. I hope the internet grows out of mom shaming.
Colleen, I feel you! My daughter was born perfectly healthy a day before her due date, latched and breastfed perfectly, and yet I managed to only make it to six months. I’m so incredibly glad I made the decision to stop breastfeeding because I was so incredibly malnourished from it. My daughter ended up gaining weight when she went on formula and my husband was able to finally help out with feedings. It was a tough decision to make, but I don’t regret it one bit. Do whatever is best for both you and the babies!
hi colleen!! tortilla talk question: you haven’t talked about your c section scar/recovery in a while. how are you doing with that? an update would be awesome!! sending love to you and your family!! 💜
I was only able to BF my son and daughter for weeks because my body just stopped producing milk, even with supplements. You’re Am amazing mum Colleen, it’s hard, I was heartbroken but my kids are thriving and I am thriving. You got this
Renee -well said! Your comment on it being "heartbreaking" is true for so many moms. Grieving the loss of their desire to breastfeed is important. Understanding intellectually what's best for mom and babies is seperate from suffering the loss of your desires/plans. I think as mothers we need to give ourselves grace to grieve the loss.
I wanted to so bad but mentally I could not handle pumping and having a premie that needed to cuddle me after feeding when I needed to pump. It stressed me out to hear her need me and try to produce milk, felt like a useless cow the whole time.
I had this experience too and it was not easy, which I’m sure you know all about. In the end I was just so grateful formula exist, because my son wouldn’t be here without it.
@@koinwonderland4309 formula has come a long way, 5 weeks I breast fed my son and still had to supplement feeds with formula as I wasn’t producing enough for him. He was 6 weeks early. My daughter was 3 weeks early and I fed her maybe a month and couldn’t do it any more. I didn’t feel the bond with my. Daughter because if my past experience. Fed is best, even now all my little one eats is chips and nuggets and egg haha 😆
I would wait for the lactation consultant before quitting altogether, learning more techniques and getting specific help from a specialist REALLY helped my mom during her time breastfeeding me and my siblings. She says each of us had different feeding preferences and the lactation consultant was a game changer!
And if you don’t vibe well with one lactation consultant, move on and find another! When we did the weighted feeds I could only give her 4 mL total and she was super judgey and made me use an SNS instead of a bottle. Switched to another one and she was so much more understanding and realistic! Just make sure to be an advocate for yourself and your babies!
I’ve been watching your NICU journey having gone through it myself 2.5 years ago with a baby born at 26 weeks. You have articulated beautifully all the feelings I wasn’t always able to put words to! We were in the NICU for 88 days in total and I exclusively pumped for about 10 weeks. It broke me! My supply started drying up so I pumped more to keep up with feeds. The feeding was more emotionally draining than all of the other stuff for me! In the end couldn’t keep up so we ended on a combination of formula and pumped milk. One of the amazing NICU nurses (the angels that they are) said that my mental health was important too and that I needed to be the best version of me for my baby. If that meant he came home on formula it was ok. (Totally against NHS guidelines here in the UK but I am so thankful she broke the rules!) It was as if I needed someone in the medical field to tell me it was ok so I didn’t have so much “guilt”. When I made the decision to use formula it was like the fog cleared for me and I was able to think logically. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I do think the stress of “keeping up” is what shattered my milk supply. Combi feeding is a fantastic… it doesn’t have to be one of the other just no one talks about it enough. So is formula, everyone gets more sleep! Ultimately, feed your baby. If anyone cares how you do it they really need to find some time to evaluate their priorities.
I exclusively formula fed both of my sons who are now 19 and 15. Back when I had them there were still the same debates about breast fed babies and formula fed. They were fed Enfamil and it has in it the same things as mother’s milk, so that made me feel good about my decision to formula feed from birth. I think you have done amazing Colleen, and please cut yourself some slack. Follow your twins lead, they will let you know what they need!! ❤️
My mom just couldn’t breastfeed, although she did try with the help of lactation consultants. I was formula feed from birth and was totally fine! I know tons of formula only babies who are happy and healthy. You and Erik are doing so good!
Watching Colleen makes me respect all the mothers even more. When they say it’s the toughest job in the world, that’s absolutely true Love from a fellow creator ❤️
I'm a twin and my mom tried breast-feeding for a week and just didn't like it so she switched to formula immediately and we are now almost 20 in college and we turned out "fine" do what works for you and that is what is right for you and your family. love you so much keep doing you!!
Colleen, it sounds strange but formula SAVED my breastfeeding journey! My experience was similar to how it was with you and Flynn, until I went to work and started pumping. I was pumping between 1 and 1.5 oz less than what my daughter was drinking while at the sitters. Eventually my freezer supply dwindled to almost nothing. I ended up supplementing during the day with 2-4 oz of formula so that I was able to continue breastfeeding at night! I know it’s different than what you are going through right now but I think “combo” feeding is often overlooked. It’s not just breastfeeding or formula, sometimes it both. It worked beautifully for us. It gave me the peace of mind to not stress so much about my supply! Good luck mama, do what feels right for you and your babies!
Colleen, I only pumped for 3 weeks and by that time my mental health was absolutely through the floor. I stopped, for my mental health and started medication, and I blamed myself for that for months and months. But it did fade. Now and again I still feel that twinge of upset that I “didn’t do enough” and “didn’t try properly”, it really did a number on me. I tell myself now that internalising this and feeling like you’re mum shaming yourself is just the mark of a good mother, honestly. You have done an incredible job and when you do make the switch, it will be the right time, whether it’s tomorrow or the next day or the next.
Twin mom here. When I was struggling to breastfeed, I wanted someone to tell me to just quit, instead everyone was supportive to keep trying. And I didn’t want to hear that at the time, but I kept at it and me and the babies got the hang of nursing. And looking back, it was useful to hear to keep pushing forward and trying.
Colleen, I survived 4 days.. 4 days! With a one baby before I switched to formula. You have survived months. That’s incredible. You should know that! Yes the guilt for switching will always be there but when you start to feel more human again you won’t regret it I promise. Do what works for you ❤️ sending lots of love xx
hey girl, I was raised basically exclusively on formula because my mom had lactation issues and she just wasnt producing enough milk. Obviously she wasn't going to leave me to starve so dispite societies standards that you have to breast feed she switched me to formula and I turned out completely fine. I think doing some research on the benefits of formula would help putting your mind at ease a little. Stay strong, love you.
Hi Colleen!!! I only pumped for 2 months as well! It was devastating to my ego because I was a first time mom with my nicu twins. But feedings became a LOT less stressful and I was able to start getting a little more rest at that time. As long as you're feeding your babies with love, they'll be happy.
Hi Colleen, I’m a formula baby! My mom tried to breast feed for the first few months and had to switch to formula really early on. I never had any difference in health compared to my brother who was breast fed and don’t have any resentment over my mom making the choices that were right for her! At the end of the day, moms are all doing what is best for their family like you always say!
me and my twin sister were ONLY formula fed and we turned out great haha. I hear you and see your pain Colleen, it must be so so hard. We love you and are cheering you on, you got this!
Colleen I want to say thank you for being so vulnerable. I’m not a mom or expected to be but hearing you talk about your frustrations with yourself the battle within yourself that tries and tries to break you down makes me feel less alone. You are doing amazing mama never forget to take your own advice of what’s best for you, your babies, and your mental health. ❤️
I love seeing how Colleen and Erik are still so attentive and present with Flynn. It’s so easy to get distracted especially with two new little ones and you can see that they go the extra mile. They’re doing such an amazing job.
I was in this same position when my babies were babies. I once walked into my obgyn’s office in tears about it, and she said “if you’re looking for permission to stop pumping, I give you permission.” It did actually help me feel better.
THIS! I NEEDED this today! I had my daughter which is my second baby about 2 weeks after you had the twins and frankly you’ve gotten me through so much with being pregnant at the same times to having our babies a little bit apart from each other it’s just been nice to have someone who’s going through it with me. I breastfed my son until he was 3 months and then switched him to formula for health reasons. However when i had my daughter i had serious complications after having her and was unable to breastfeed her and i STILL hold so much guilt over myself for having her be formula fed. I truly don’t care like you said how a baby is fed cause i truly believe fed is best but i feel so much guilt for not giving her breast milk. I really needed to hear tonight that I’m not alone!
Thanks for showing us the little moments of Flynn hanging out with y’all in the sun. They really bring me happiness and peace- it’s just awesome seeing y’all hang out together and it’s so cute! Reminds me that life is all about the little moments :).
she actually answered this. she said she only shares the bright moments because when flynn is upset, taking a camera out and recording him is not the best parenting, which i agree. i don’t remember in which vlog she said this, but you can find it if you can watch the vlogs she posted in last 3 months
Tortilla talk question: What is one of your biggest highlights about being a Mom? I love you Colleen. You are an amazing Mother. You are going to get through this. We are all here for you.
as someone who was fed using ONLY formula, I never thought any less of my mom for it. they will appreciate you regardless of the way you feed them in the future. we all see how much you care. you're doing an amazing job. mom on!
Every time you cry on these vlogs, I just want to reach through the screen and hug you. At times I cry with you for your frustrations. Please know that you are doing AMAZING, as is Eric!!! Thank you for sharing all of this and being so vulnerable and REAL. And let's talk about how amazing Flynn is! He (and your whole family) makes me so happy to see how wonderful he is! I love watching your channel!
Totally agree, the mom guilt I had after stopping nursing I put on myself was horrible. No one said anything out of support it was all in my head. We're all way to hard on our selves.
I beat myself up soooo much with my first baby about switching to formula but once I did I felt like such a weight was lifted. I did just formula with my second and loved it. Even though I would never judge another mom. We’re always so much harder on ourselves. Look into the dr browns pitcher so you can have several bottles ready!
Motherhood is hard enough without the added shame/stress from ourselves and others and their unwanted opinions. What works for one mother may not work for another and that is JUST FINE❤️ Whatever you do for YOUR babies and for YOUR mental health and well-being is perfect. YOU’VE GOT THIS MOMMA✨
Colleen. You are WINNING!! What a wonderful mother you are! You got this, you are strong, powerful, and amazing! And I LOVE how you are still so hands on with Flynn, that is just so amazing to see. GOD BLESS!
I love how you look forward to watching “singles inferno” while you feed the babes in the middle of the night and I look forward to watching your vlogs and podcast while I feed my little boy lol. Sending you a big hug!!
I had the exact same feelings when I was pumping for my baby. My daughter refused to breast feed so I pumped. I hated it. It was painful and exhausting. I did it for two months then switched to formula. I had extreme mom guilt but it ended up being the best decision for me and my baby. Just do what works best for you and your babies.
Colleen you are freaking amazing! My daughter is 6 months now and I’ve used formula the whole time. I tried to breastfeed but my breast milk never came in. I felt guilt for not being able to provide my baby food that was designed for her. But she’s happy and super healthy! You got this girl! 😊
Hi colleen, I was fed formula since my first feeding and I turned out perfectly fine and healthy ! And I never knew the difference. 24 years later and I think the world of my mom she’s the absolute best ! Take it from a daughters perspective moms are true miracles and there’s no such thing as doing the “wrong thing” when you’re heart is filled with love and care for your kids! I know it’s easier said than done but pack up that mom guilt because you are killing it !
When I finally saw a lactation consultant at 5 months she looked at my chart and was like, oh, you had pre-eclampsia, and a premie, and a hemorrhage after birth that lead to anemia. All of those things can cause problems with your milk supply. And it was like this huge relief cause she was basically telling me that it wasn’t my fault. I wish someone had told me at the hospital that all those things might affect my supply, because I think it would have helped me be kinder to myself. Coleen, you went through such a difficult pregnancy and birth. Your body is still healing from both, and it may be part of the reason you are struggling with your supply. Don’t ever feel like you aren’t doing enough. Your body has already given them so much, and they will be just as healthy and happy when / if you switch to formula.
Hey Colleen, while I am nowhere near to being a mom, I am a twin. My mother used formula the entire time with me and my brother and I can say we were healthy and happy, especially seeing how my brother is 6'7''. Try not to judge yourself too much for you are doing great and as you have seen in your comments you have a ton of support through your journey and have helped/inspired so many people as well. You are doing great and I wish you and your family all the hope and happiness 💕
Tortilla talk question: what advice do you have for people who are pregnant for the first time and nervous/scared about everything? You are an incredible mom ❤️
Rule #1: comparison is the thief of joy! You’re doing great, it’s just connecting that in your self talk to be able to feel that way. I understand how hard us women can be on ourselves and it can be challenging to turn it around in our heads. It’s a process. Journal all the things you’re doing right or just journal. Even if you only have 5 mins. As always (like you are an advocates for) continue to do what’s best for you and fam. I’m so glad you and family are healthy and safe. God bless 🥰
Hey momma, I am a mother baby nurse and I have watched your whole journey. I want you to know LOTS of mommas formula feed from the get go and the babies turn out perfect. You have got this. Get Lactation consultant involved and feed those babes 😘
I had a hard time teaching my first baby to breastfeed. He got REALLY frustrated REALLY quickly and then found it even harder to latch, so I totally understand how you feel. I was taught to persuade him to try feeding before he was obviously hungry or upset about anything else. I also used nipple shields (which I did find tricky and annoying but were easier for him) to begin with and gradually transitioned him off them after a few weeks. It sounds so simple when I write it here but it was a LOT of work, I almost gave up but was persuaded by nurses at the hospital to keep trying and they gave me a lot of lactation advice and support, without which I would have given up in the first week. The 'persuading' before he was frustrated was what really helped. It took a lot of patience to get him interested, but it was much less stressful than desperately trying to work out a latch when I was exhausted and he was already screaming.
I just had my first son November 6th 2021. My plan was to breastfeed, but my main goal was to make sure he was fed to matter what. At the hospital the LC praised my son for being able to latch so quick, but I knew something wasn’t right. I mentioned it hurt, and was told I was sensitive, and that would go away. The next day when we went home I was in so much pain, both breast were one “latch” away from bleeding. I felt defeated, my son was hungry, we had no pump (on its way in the mail), I couldn’t feed my son; the one thing I should be able to do. I cried while my husband drove across several towns to find a store open at 2am to find a pump. Once I received my pump in the mail, all I did was pump for my son. The pain my breast were in scared me to try and have him latch. One day he was crying so hard I just put him on my breast, it hurt, but I knew he needed to eat. I am now doing better, but my supply is low. I only have enough to feed him. I have nothing left to pump out. I know my breastfeeding journey will be short, but I will always have feed my son, breast milk or formula. *** Try nipple shields for your twins. They are to protect you, but in a way turn your nipple into the nipple of a bottle. That might get them to latch and stay latched to you so you can breastfeed them directly***
My son needed formula supplementation from almost day one and I combo fed for two months before I switched to 100% formula and stopped breastfeeding/pumping. It was the hardest decision because of the shame and failure I felt, but I was so relieved when I switched to formula. I’m pregnant with #2 now and plan to completely formula feed from day one, I can’t go through the stress again. I hope you can choose the best option for your babies and your mental health soon. 💕
Hey Colleen! I pumped for two weeks and just couldn’t do it mentally. I was exhausted. In pain. And it took so much effort and time away from my baby so for my family I made the choice to go to formula only and my babies where very happy with it. They where healthy, hit all their growth and developmental learning marks like all the breast feed babies. You are amazing mama sometimes the best thing you can do for your family is do what is least stressful to you because it helps you have a more positive attitude and helps ease the stress level around feedings. Whatever you do your babies will be healthy, strong, and love you just as much. You’ve got this hun!
I feel you Colleen, I went through that twice, with both my boys. I tried to fully breastfeed them, but couldn’t. I had to give them formula plus my milk and I felt then same, that thought of guilt… Anyways, like you said, we did and are doing the best thing for our babies, for our family, for us moms!! Love love love your blogs!! ❤️❤️❤️
I relate so much to this. I had my first baby last year and he ended up in the NICU and I pumped for 2 months. I tried to breastfeed and it just didn't go well. I got shame from some of the nurses at the hospital and I felt shame also. I felt like I was failing. I battled for weeks and cried a ton before I finally decided to switch to formula/bottle and after a few weeks my mental health was so much better. Do what you think is best but just believe what you're saying is true.
Hey Colleen! I just wanted to let you know that me and my mom have bonded over your vlogs together recently and we both think you’re an amazing mama and are so proud of you!! The best part about watching your vlogs together is that we LOVE the intro. It has become a big inside joke to sing the intro that Flynn sings to each other at random points throughout the day, and it never fails to make us smile. It has become such a big part of our life and it’s lovely that your story and updates on your life with your kiddos can help other people like me and my mom grow closer too. Love ya Colleen!!
It’s so important to remember that ANY amount of breastmilk is amazing for your babies, and is absolutely not negated by supplementing with formula. Combination feeding is an incredible option for so many moms, baby gets all the benefits of breastmilk while mom gets to feel the security of knowing that formula is always there if you need it. You are a superwoman for feeding your babies any way you can!!! ❤️
Can I just say Colleen, I had my first baby at 22. I was so young, and naive. My son cluster fed and it would be for 40 minutes, every 30 minutes.. and I was exhausted. My mental health was shockingly bad, I was crying 24/7 because I was shamed for thinking about formula as an alternative rather than sticking with it. My health visitor even told me to "get over it" - safe to say we never saw her again. My then-husband walked out the house and bought formula because who I was as a person was gone. I sobbed, hard- but it was the best decision he made because the sleep and feeding could be regulated. I understand I don't have twins but I too had the internal struggle, even though looking back he absolutely made the right choice to do that, to save me from crashing and burning.
Here I am, Colleen! I’m the mom that happily gave her baby formula! I tried to breast feed for the first 2 months but absolutely hated it. I didn’t like the way it felt and it really made me an angry person. Early on, I realized that I didn’t want to be that way. What was most important was for my daughter to have her mom in the best mental space. There were people around me who preached that narrative.. “breast is best!” but honestly it didn’t phase me. I had to do what was best for me and my family. Sometimes I think about how I would like to try it again if I ever had another baby, but I’m NOT going to let society tell me what is best. Do what’s best for you and your family. You’ll be happy you did! ❤️
This! What's the point of feeding them "the best" if you can't be your best? And if it literally makes you feel angry or upset or sad? Learning about breastfeeding aversion was such a relief for me.
Yes Queen mom! I was the same. Breastfed for 6 weeks and then swiftly moved onto formula and didn't look back for both children. They were happy because I was happy. A happy mom has a happy baby. They feel your vibes.
Same here 🙋🏻♀️
I wish I had less guilt about switching cause I encourage other people to feed their babies however so it shocked me when I had so much guilt over switching. It was the worst and I would not wish those feelings on anyone, I'm so happy you didn't feel bad. I felt so much shame I could barely talk to anyone about for months.
I felt guilt too when I switched, my son was only in the NICU for 5 days but he never really caught on to bf and I was worried about his weight so I just supplemented and struggled to breastfeed for weeks before the stress and anxiety got to me and I just went to formula. Immediately after deciding to switch, the stress and anxiety over his weight and how much I was feeding him disappeared. The guilt over not breastfeeding happens, but it's so much better than what I was feeling before. I won't be having another baby so I'm sad I won't ever get to try exclusively breastfeeding but I don't regret changing to formula.
I’m so glad my comment reached you. I was the one who talked about pumping for 6 months. But please do not shame yourself because you want to be done sooner than that. You grew TWO humans at once and had a hard pregnancy, traumatic delivery, and NICU. You are a literal superhero. Much love. ❤️
Exactly
Yes! I exclusively pumped for 1 baby for 4 months and almost died!! She’s doing it for two! Plus my baby had reflux and I cut everything out of my diet (dairy, peanuts, eggs, soy, and strawberries), and when I switched her to a hypoallergenic formula she did SO MUCH BETTER! I wish I didn’t blame myself so much, and waited so long, and tortured myself to avoid formula. My mental health and life also improved so much! Go for it Colleen, your babies will do GREAT on formula! It might even help Maisy with her reflux ❤️ much love!!!
LITERAL HERO MAMA ❤️
@@marcelaboudreau106 Yup. I pumped for six months with one baby and what suffered was my mental health. It was so hard and in retrospect, not really worth it. When I had my second baby I chose to formula feed from day 1 and it was 100% the right decision for me and the rest of my family.
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Colleen, my sister and I are twins, and my mom used formula essentially the whole time! She just couldn't keep up with our needs, so made the switch after less than a month. You are not any worse or any better of a mom for breastfeeding or using formula. As long as your babies get what they need, it truly doesn't matter how they get it.
Very well said!
Yeah my mom used formula with my brother and I despite the nurses being very rude to her. You are exactly right!
My mom was a lactation counselor. My son was born 3 months ago, and since then we’ve had a difficult breastfeeding journey with nipple trauma, latch issues and mastitis. She said to me, “There is NO shame in switching to formula. You have already given him great nutrients from your colostrum and breastmilk. You are a rockstar.” That was really encouraging for me to hear.
I love that 🥰
I felt so much breastfeeding guilt. I was miserable and struggling. I broke down in front of the pediatrician, who had just had twins herself. She told me she wasn’t breastfeeding. It was that moment that I thought, 6 weeks of it is good enough. I’m done. If my baby’s doctor is good with it, I can forgive myself and be ok with it too. As always, I think you are awesome and doing a great job!
You guys letting Flynn play in the mud and encouraging his exploring and playfulness warms my heart. You are both such good parents
Yes 🥰
I loved that SO MUCH!!
I love when Colleen says how will you get out? Instead of just helping him before he figures it out himself.
Yes
Twin mom insight: im a twin and my mom said “I could only pump/breast feed for 2 months (maybe 3) and had to stop for my health and just fed the girls formula for the rest of the time. The mom guilt is real but at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you and your babies. Stay strong, you got this!”
Me too a mom of twins and i pumped for 2 months only and the guilt feeling is killing me 😭
Only!?! You did it for 2 months that's amazing.
I hope she sees this so she can see she's not alone 🥰 thank you for sharing
Colleen, I’m noticing with you that you are so kind to everyone else, whether it be pregnancy weight gain, post partum bodies, and now feeding babies. But you are so hard on yourself.
Colleen you are an amazing mom, and you’re doing a fantastic job feeding those babies. Please remember to be kind to yourself sweet mama! We are all rooting for you 💜
Dear Colleen. I adopted both of my babies. They never had a drop of breast milk. They are now 17 and 18, and healthy brilliant happy amazing young adult humans. Formula rocks. Oh, and nearly 60 years ago I myself was formula fed. Still going strong. Lots of love to you. And give yourself the love. You are crushing this mom of three situation. If you need to “tag you’re it” with formula, the babies will be just perfect. 💜♥️💜♥️💜♥️💜♥️
Exactly I posted something very similar
Hey! I had a problem with breastfeeding and my baby also preferred the bottle. However, I found that using a silicon nipple shield made my boob feel more like a bottle and it made a world of difference.
I was able to transition away from the nipple shield after a while by starting a feed with it and then taking it away in the middle of a feed. I have no problems with breastfeeding now.
From one sleep deprived mom to another, I hope this helps💖
BOOST THIS COMMENT YALL
Yes! This changed everything for me and my son. My milk hadn’t come in when I left the hospital. Went to a lactation consultant and she showed me how to use it. He finally latched and had a GOOD breastfeed! It changed our lives. Such a great tool. We’ve now fully transitioned away from the shield! (But I keep one in the diaper bag just in case)
THIS!! My daughter was a 29 weeker - spent 73 days in the NICU with a feeding tube, then we pumped + fortified after she came home. The nipple shield helped *tremendously* with transitioning to breast.
Colleen - I hope you know what an incredible mother you are for what you’ve already done for your babies - no matter what you need to do. And no matter what feeding choices you make after this, you’ll STILL be an incredible mother ❤️
What you’ve been through is REALLY freaking hard. You’re doing great.
boost!
She said she's used the shields before and it didn't work great either
Hey Colleen! I know you probably won't see this but I exclusively breastfed my first daughter for 18 months. With my second daughter I switched to formula at 4 months because it was the best choice for HER AND I. Mental health is important too. Babies would much rather have formula and a momma with a healthy mindset than the latter. So if you think of it that way, formula IS the healthier choice sometimes. Thinking about it that way really really helped me with the 'guilt' I was feeling. Sending so so much love!💓
Commenting to boost this to the top!
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just wanted to let you know that my mom didn’t breastfeed me. i grew up never even having a thought that breastfeeding was or wouldve been better. i’m about to go into senior year with all A’s and an amazing mom. you’re amazing and you will raise your kids amazingly no matter what happens with food.
My son was a preemie, and had a hard time nursing, so after 2 weeks I switched to formula, I also felt like a failure, but he thrived. My daughter nursed like a pro for 18 months. Each baby was so different but both were fed and healthy so I learned not to judge myself so harshly. You're doing great,and you'll be a great mom, whatever you decide to do.
Boosting
Boost
I had twins and "I just used formula the whole time, it was awesome!" Seriously though I couldn't breast feed 2 babies after a very difficult twin HG pregnancy and I dont feel bad about it one bit! I fed them and loved them and they're perfect ♥️♥️
As moms we always critize ourselves more than anyone else does. You're a great mom Colleen and your children are so lucky to have you. 💜
So true! Always so much harder on ourselves
Amen !!!! Well said Tree Aroha :)
In general, woman always have been more judgmental towards ourselves. That is how the patriarchy wants it. I’d we didn’t feel bad or have low self esteem then we wouldn’t buy stuff to make us feel better and “empowered us”.
Does anyone know what camera she uses?
The fact you are so worried about this proves how good of a mum you are!
Hey Colleen, I'm a twin and my sister and I were formula fed basically from birth. We both turned out totally fine and healthy!! Whatever you decide will be the right choice for you and your family, sending lots of love to y'all
Just here to say, I gave up breastfeeding TWICE it was SO hard and each time I had this same guilt. Even tho I’m SO okay with formula. But once I switched it’s like this huge weight was lifted. Take pics of you breastfeeding and save some milk so you get a breast milk ring or necklace trust me it will help the transition!! Best of luck, you GOT this. You’re a great mom
Colleen, as someone who had a really unfortunate and toxic childhood, I watch your vlogs to remind myself that truly happy, healthy families really can exist. It brings me so much joy to see the love and care you have and express for all your children. Know that as a mother, you are an inspiration and source of comfort to so many.
It really is. Colleen is so genuine and wonderful she is great!
YESSS!! Me too, thank u Colleen.
Yesss! She also inspires me to be a better mom.
THIS! You put into words what I couldn’t. She feels like a safe big sister I never had but desperately need 💜
Same... So much same
Hey Colleen! My mom is a single mom and has twins, and I am one of them! She formula-fed my brother and me the entire time, and we turned out great! Don’t be too hard on yourself. Do what’s best for you and your babies! I hope you’re doing well. I love you, and I love watching your videos!
just fine, not the best you coulld have been
@@uhohstinky5850 fed is best doesn’t matter how yes breast milk is healthier but she just needs to feed the babies that’s all that matter
@@uhohstinky5850 troll!
@@aaliyahwheeler5937 I mean, fed is the goal but i wouldn’t call it “the best” that’s just a fact, but that doesn’t mean people are bad for choosing to do that, it’s just factually not the “best”
Honestly, I'm not a mom but watching Colleen raise her babies makes me feel a bit more prepared for motherhood. I kinda want to be a mom and a wife. Her struggles of motherhood makes everything feel so right. I'm gonna do good one day.
THIS!!!
A while back my therapist said "when you hear the judgey voice in your head, say to yourself 'self, would you say this to a friend or stranger? " it has taken a couple of years, but it is finally taking root. You are doing a wonderful job, you've got this!
there are so many ways to parent, but the smile on your kid’s faces says it all. you’re an amazing mother and eric is the BEST father i’ve seen in a while. you guys are amazing and beautiful. wishing you the best ❤️
I’m 19 and in college, we have virtually nothing in common and i LOVE you videos. I feel like you are a great mom and that was something I didn’t have. I hope to have a family like yours one day. I’m sorry you aren’t feeling the best about breastfeeding directly but truthfully, the amount of love and time you give to your kids triumphs such a silly thing like that. Be proud mama!!!
i love this!!! i’m 19 and i’m college too and love watching these videos even though i don’t really have anything in common either!!!❤️❤️
ya same lol im 18 in uni but I love watching her videos! and boy/girl twins are so exciting
Hi 👍
same i’m 19 and in college w no kids and i enjoy watching :)
@@oldnavyboxers hi baby I am arpit how are you
Letting your kids play in mud/dirt etc… is SO good for them and their development. I have to remind myself that when my kids make a mess it’s just a sign of them learning and growing and exploring the world around them. You and Erik are incredible parents. INCREDIBLE. Hugs and love to your family. Give yourself grace, mama. You ARE DOING AMAZING ❤️
This! It’s also incredibly important and beneficial for the development of the immune system. Exposure to farm & barn animals is great too!
@@aprilmiller7601 amazing! My kids should be bulletproof then! Haha
Colleen, I love when you talk so openly and candidly about this topic. My first daughter was born in April 2021 and breastfeeding was such a struggle. With her being my first baby ever, her having a lip and tongue tie, issues with my supply, and finally her being diagnosed with reflux, it just wasn’t in the cards for us. And for MONTHS I dealt with the guilt and sadness of “failing” at breastfeeding. But now my formula fed baby is thriving. She is so happy and healthy and we found other ways to bond which are just as meaningful as breastfeeding. I can’t imagine how hard it is having 2 new babies and also dealing with those feelings. But thank you for sharing your story! It helps heal my mama heart hearing you talk about these things and I hope it helps heal yours talking about it.
Colleen, you're doing a FANTASTIC job! I was born in the early 70s and my mom will tell you without hesitation how proud she is that she fed me and my younger sister exclusively with formula because she was a professional woman who phenomenally took care of our family AND brought home the bacon during a time when doors were opening like never before for women in the corporate world. To this day, I cannot even express to you how much I admire my mother. Incidentally, I breastfed my two children, and I always felt my mother's love and support while I was a breastfeeding mom, but it never changed the fact that she proudly made her own choices as a mother and I have always been inspired by her to do the same. Your children will admire you and be inspired by you too...you are an amazing, fierce, kicking-down-doors mom 💕!
Ruby, your mom sounds like an amazing lady, and no wonder that you also sound amazing!
I breast fed my daughter for 1 week.. and switched to formula because I couldn’t handle the constant need to feed. You’re doing amazing and I appreciate you being raw and real and honest about how you’re feeling and sharing your honest experience. I love you
I’m a twin and my mom used formula the entire time with us as breastfeeding was uncomfortable and difficult for her. Any decision you make for YOU and YOUR kids is going to be the right one as you are the only one who truly understands the situation you are in. You got this Queen and I love you💖
Boost this comment yall!!
Yasss fed is best breastfeeding was so difficult because my son was tongue tied :/ I tried for 3 months and he like the bottle better.
Colleen, don’t mom shame yourself! Your such a great person, friend, daughter, and mom! Tho people might criticize you and your mothering style, you are unique and these kids are so so lucky to have you as a mom! I’m very jealous and I love how kind you are 😻😉
this reminds me of a while ago when you were telling us about how in therapy you guys talked about how you are your own bully. you don’t let yourself off with anything, it’s difficult (i suffer from this too) it’s all about breaking the cycle, but it is REALLY difficult. i’m sure you talking about this is making a million other moms feel better.
Hi Colleen! Fellow b/g twin mom here! My twins were exclusively formula fed. My older son had just turned two when my twins were born and there was just no way I was going to attempt it. I'm in awe of those who can, but I have also never had a days guilt over formula feeding my babies. They were happy, healthy, bonded and will be turning 18 next month! You are doing amazing!
Fellow mama here: My milk supply had been awful from day one of having my baby. I had to supplement with formula before I even left the hospital. My whole breastfeeding journey was pretty awful. My milk supply continued to be low and my baby never had much interest in actually breastfeeding since bottles are much easier. And the pain. Oh the pain of breastfeeding. For me, it was excruciating everytime. It was a huge struggle for both of us. I ended up just exclusively trying to pump to give my baby whatever milk I could get from myself (while also having to use formula). At four months I couldn't do it anymore. Mentally. Physically. It was so very hard. I just couldn't do it. So at that point I made the decision to give my baby only formula. While I felt ALOT of guilt about it, it was honestly the best move I could've made at that point. My baby was absolutely fine and I didn't feel trapped by pumping anymore. I could have my body back..the mental and physical struggle I felt trapped in for that four months I was finally free of. That was huge for me. Oh and my baby is now 2 and a half and doing just fine.
So I just want to say, I know some of your struggle mama and I hear you and I feel you! Do whatever you feel you need to do for your beautiful babies and yourself. Fed truly is best. You're doing amazing. You got this. ❤
You can literally be mom shamed for ANYTHING you do as a parent, but girl as long as your kids aren’t being abused, and are fed, clean, happy and are loved then that means you’re an amazing mom 100%. Don’t bring yourself down.
the way you’re feeling is so valid and real. it’s really refreshing to see someone like you who talks about their feeling in a raw, honest way. i really hope the lactation consultant is able to help. you’ve got this! ❤️
"He wanted to play in the mud so we're playing in the mud"
Mom of the year right there. 🥰
The amount of parents who don't let their kids do certain fun things just because they might get dirty is sad. I love how you guys always try to give your kiddo fun experiences ❤
I pumped for two months with both of my singleton babies and I stopped for my mental health both times, made plenty of milk. I went through the self mom shaming, I kicked myself so bad for it but both of my baby boys are strong, smart and amazing little boys!
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Hi Colleen, I’m not a mom but I am a twin! My mom had breastfeeding issues with my twin sister and I very early on and we were both formula fed for our entire infancy. It’s hard to live in a world where everyone comments on everything, but from an outsider looking in you’re doing a great job! You’re an awesome mom and formula is just as wonderful an option as any other option. Keep it up!!
I exclusively formula fed all 3 of my kids…they’re all teenagers now. They are all healthy and could care less wether their mom fed them with breast milk or formula. Just do what’s best for your mental health. You’re awesome! 💕
I was 17 when I had my first son and wasn’t talked to about breastfeeding or even given a chance to do it. They instantly gave him a bottle and then he was in the NICU. So once I got him home and tried he was already used to a bottle. I can tell you 100% all babies are different. My first 2 sons were exclusively formula fed and were perfectly healthy. However my youngest was sensitive to formula so I breastfed him. He took right to it even though I hadn’t been able to do it with either of my other 2. Whether it’s breast milk or formula your babies will be healthy and happy either way. You’re an amazing momma.
Hi 👍
I’m a new momma, my daughter was jaundice and struggled to breastfeed. I pumped and bottle fed her for 2 weeks and it was BRUTAL. On top of it being so hard, I couldn’t believe the emotional toil it took and the struggle to know what was the right thing to do. Thank you for normalizing how difficult feeding babies can be, regardless of how you do it!
I sobbed when I wasn't producing enough milk for my son and I had to give him formula. It was a mix of me feeling like a terrible mother, and the mom shaming of formula feeding. You aren't alone in that at all. I hope the internet grows out of mom shaming.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 localdate.monster/HANABI?NUDE_DATTING♀️🔞 💜 PRIVATE S*X
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Colleen, I feel you! My daughter was born perfectly healthy a day before her due date, latched and breastfed perfectly, and yet I managed to only make it to six months. I’m so incredibly glad I made the decision to stop breastfeeding because I was so incredibly malnourished from it. My daughter ended up gaining weight when she went on formula and my husband was able to finally help out with feedings. It was a tough decision to make, but I don’t regret it one bit.
Do whatever is best for both you and the babies!
hi colleen!! tortilla talk question: you haven’t talked about your c section scar/recovery in a while. how are you doing with that? an update would be awesome!! sending love to you and your family!! 💜
I was only able to BF my son and daughter for weeks because my body just stopped producing milk, even with supplements.
You’re Am amazing mum Colleen, it’s hard, I was heartbroken but my kids are thriving and I am thriving. You got this
Renee -well said! Your comment on it being "heartbreaking" is true for so many moms. Grieving the loss of their desire to breastfeed is important. Understanding intellectually what's best for mom and babies is seperate from suffering the loss of your desires/plans. I think as mothers we need to give ourselves grace to grieve the loss.
I wanted to so bad but mentally I could not handle pumping and having a premie that needed to cuddle me after feeding when I needed to pump. It stressed me out to hear her need me and try to produce milk, felt like a useless cow the whole time.
I had this experience too and it was not easy, which I’m sure you know all about. In the end I was just so grateful formula exist, because my son wouldn’t be here without it.
@@koinwonderland4309 formula has come a long way, 5 weeks I breast fed my son and still had to supplement feeds with formula as I wasn’t producing enough for him. He was 6 weeks early. My daughter was 3 weeks early and I fed her maybe a month and couldn’t do it any more. I didn’t feel the bond with my. Daughter because if my past experience.
Fed is best, even now all my little one eats is chips and nuggets and egg haha 😆
Watching Flynn growing up and become this wonderfully hilarious and inventive human being is so fun!! I can't wait to see what the twins turn into!!
I would wait for the lactation consultant before quitting altogether, learning more techniques and getting specific help from a specialist REALLY helped my mom during her time breastfeeding me and my siblings. She says each of us had different feeding preferences and the lactation consultant was a game changer!
Just met with one and it was a game changer! Honestly getting encouragement from a professional made me feel so much better.
And if you don’t vibe well with one lactation consultant, move on and find another! When we did the weighted feeds I could only give her 4 mL total and she was super judgey and made me use an SNS instead of a bottle. Switched to another one and she was so much more understanding and realistic! Just make sure to be an advocate for yourself and your babies!
I’ve been watching your NICU journey having gone through it myself 2.5 years ago with a baby born at 26 weeks. You have articulated beautifully all the feelings I wasn’t always able to put words to!
We were in the NICU for 88 days in total and I exclusively pumped for about 10 weeks. It broke me! My supply started drying up so I pumped more to keep up with feeds. The feeding was more emotionally draining than all of the other stuff for me! In the end couldn’t keep up so we ended on a combination of formula and pumped milk.
One of the amazing NICU nurses (the angels that they are) said that my mental health was important too and that I needed to be the best version of me for my baby. If that meant he came home on formula it was ok. (Totally against NHS guidelines here in the UK but I am so thankful she broke the rules!) It was as if I needed someone in the medical field to tell me it was ok so I didn’t have so much “guilt”. When I made the decision to use formula it was like the fog cleared for me and I was able to think logically. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I do think the stress of “keeping up” is what shattered my milk supply. Combi feeding is a fantastic… it doesn’t have to be one of the other just no one talks about it enough. So is formula, everyone gets more sleep! Ultimately, feed your baby. If anyone cares how you do it they really need to find some time to evaluate their priorities.
I exclusively formula fed both of my sons who are now 19 and 15. Back when I had them there were still the same debates about breast fed babies and formula fed. They were fed Enfamil and it has in it the same things as mother’s milk, so that made me feel good about my decision to formula feed from birth. I think you have done amazing Colleen, and please cut yourself some slack. Follow your twins lead, they will let you know what they need!! ❤️
Boosting
My mom just couldn’t breastfeed, although she did try with the help of lactation consultants. I was formula feed from birth and was totally fine! I know tons of formula only babies who are happy and healthy. You and Erik are doing so good!
I hope she sees this and doesn't feel alone 🥰 thank you for sharing 💜
@@randireeley7 I hope so. She’s doing such a great job and I know she will do whatever is best for those cute babies.
Watching Colleen makes me respect all the mothers even more. When they say it’s the toughest job in the world, that’s absolutely true
Love from a fellow creator ❤️
I'm a twin and my mom tried breast-feeding for a week and just didn't like it so she switched to formula immediately and we are now almost 20 in college and we turned out "fine" do what works for you and that is what is right for you and your family. love you so much keep doing you!!
Hello 👍
I swear nothing has prepared me more to hopefully be a mom one day than these vlogs ❤️ thank you so much Colleen for sharing and being so real.
Colleen, it sounds strange but formula SAVED my breastfeeding journey! My experience was similar to how it was with you and Flynn, until I went to work and started pumping. I was pumping between 1 and 1.5 oz less than what my daughter was drinking while at the sitters. Eventually my freezer supply dwindled to almost nothing. I ended up supplementing during the day with 2-4 oz of formula so that I was able to continue breastfeeding at night! I know it’s different than what you are going through right now but I think “combo” feeding is often overlooked. It’s not just breastfeeding or formula, sometimes it both. It worked beautifully for us. It gave me the peace of mind to not stress so much about my supply! Good luck mama, do what feels right for you and your babies!
Colleen, I only pumped for 3 weeks and by that time my mental health was absolutely through the floor. I stopped, for my mental health and started medication, and I blamed myself for that for months and months. But it did fade. Now and again I still feel that twinge of upset that I “didn’t do enough” and “didn’t try properly”, it really did a number on me. I tell myself now that internalising this and feeling like you’re mum shaming yourself is just the mark of a good mother, honestly. You have done an incredible job and when you do make the switch, it will be the right time, whether it’s tomorrow or the next day or the next.
Twin mom here. When I was struggling to breastfeed, I wanted someone to tell me to just quit, instead everyone was supportive to keep trying. And I didn’t want to hear that at the time, but I kept at it and me and the babies got the hang of nursing. And looking back, it was useful to hear to keep pushing forward and trying.
Colleen, I survived 4 days.. 4 days! With a one baby before I switched to formula. You have survived months. That’s incredible. You should know that! Yes the guilt for switching will always be there but when you start to feel more human again you won’t regret it I promise. Do what works for you ❤️ sending lots of love xx
hey girl, I was raised basically exclusively on formula because my mom had lactation issues and she just wasnt producing enough milk. Obviously she wasn't going to leave me to starve so dispite societies standards that you have to breast feed she switched me to formula and I turned out completely fine. I think doing some research on the benefits of formula would help putting your mind at ease a little. Stay strong, love you.
Flynn's little "I'm stuck in the mud!" was too cute🥰🥰
Hi Colleen!!! I only pumped for 2 months as well! It was devastating to my ego because I was a first time mom with my nicu twins. But feedings became a LOT less stressful and I was able to start getting a little more rest at that time.
As long as you're feeding your babies with love, they'll be happy.
Hi Colleen,
I’m a formula baby! My mom tried to breast feed for the first few months and had to switch to formula really early on. I never had any difference in health compared to my brother who was breast fed and don’t have any resentment over my mom making the choices that were right for her! At the end of the day, moms are all doing what is best for their family like you always say!
me and my twin sister were ONLY formula fed and we turned out great haha. I hear you and see your pain Colleen, it must be so so hard. We love you and are cheering you on, you got this!
Colleen I want to say thank you for being so vulnerable. I’m not a mom or expected to be but hearing you talk about your frustrations with yourself the battle within yourself that tries and tries to break you down makes me feel less alone. You are doing amazing mama never forget to take your own advice of what’s best for you, your babies, and your mental health. ❤️
stay strong colleen
I love seeing how Colleen and Erik are still so attentive and present with Flynn. It’s so easy to get distracted especially with two new little ones and you can see that they go the extra mile. They’re doing such an amazing job.
I was in this same position when my babies were babies. I once walked into my obgyn’s office in tears about it, and she said “if you’re looking for permission to stop pumping, I give you permission.” It did actually help me feel better.
THIS! I NEEDED this today! I had my daughter which is my second baby about 2 weeks after you had the twins and frankly you’ve gotten me through so much with being pregnant at the same times to having our babies a little bit apart from each other it’s just been nice to have someone who’s going through it with me. I breastfed my son until he was 3 months and then switched him to formula for health reasons. However when i had my daughter i had serious complications after having her and was unable to breastfeed her and i STILL hold so much guilt over myself for having her be formula fed. I truly don’t care like you said how a baby is fed cause i truly believe fed is best but i feel so much guilt for not giving her breast milk. I really needed to hear tonight that I’m not alone!
Thanks for showing us the little moments of Flynn hanging out with y’all in the sun. They really bring me happiness and peace- it’s just awesome seeing y’all hang out together and it’s so cute! Reminds me that life is all about the little moments :).
Tortilla Talk Question: Flynn always seems so understanding and level headed in vlogs. Does he ever have tantrums or act out when he gets upset?
she actually answered this. she said she only shares the bright moments because when flynn is upset, taking a camera out and recording him is not the best parenting, which i agree. i don’t remember in which vlog she said this, but you can find it if you can watch the vlogs she posted in last 3 months
Tortilla talk question: What is one of your biggest highlights about being a Mom?
I love you Colleen. You are an amazing Mother. You are going to get through this. We are all here for you.
as someone who was fed using ONLY formula, I never thought any less of my mom for it. they will appreciate you regardless of the way you feed them in the future. we all see how much you care. you're doing an amazing job. mom on!
I was an all formula fed baby and I think I turned out fine! 😂 Anything you do with your babies is amazing! I respect you as a mom sooo much!
Every time you cry on these vlogs, I just want to reach through the screen and hug you. At times I cry with you for your frustrations. Please know that you are doing AMAZING, as is Eric!!! Thank you for sharing all of this and being so vulnerable and REAL. And let's talk about how amazing Flynn is! He (and your whole family) makes me so happy to see how wonderful he is! I love watching your channel!
Totally agree, the mom guilt I had after stopping nursing I put on myself was horrible. No one said anything out of support it was all in my head. We're all way to hard on our selves.
I beat myself up soooo much with my first baby about switching to formula but once I did I felt like such a weight was lifted. I did just formula with my second and loved it. Even though I would never judge another mom. We’re always so much harder on ourselves. Look into the dr browns pitcher so you can have several bottles ready!
Motherhood is hard enough without the added shame/stress from ourselves and others and their unwanted opinions. What works for one mother may not work for another and that is JUST FINE❤️ Whatever you do for YOUR babies and for YOUR mental health and well-being is perfect. YOU’VE GOT THIS MOMMA✨
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 localdate.monster/HANABI?NUDE_DATTING♀️🔞 💜 PRIVATE S*X
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Colleen. You are WINNING!! What a wonderful mother you are! You got this, you are strong, powerful, and amazing! And I LOVE how you are still so hands on with Flynn, that is just so amazing to see. GOD BLESS!
I love how you look forward to watching “singles inferno” while you feed the babes in the middle of the night and I look forward to watching your vlogs and podcast while I feed my little boy lol. Sending you a big hug!!
I had the exact same feelings when I was pumping for my baby. My daughter refused to breast feed so I pumped. I hated it. It was painful and exhausting. I did it for two months then switched to formula. I had extreme mom guilt but it ended up being the best decision for me and my baby. Just do what works best for you and your babies.
Watching these vlogs gives me so much respect for my mother. She did this with twins all alone. It seems impossible even with two parents.
you are amazing and everybody is different and you can/should always do you
Colleen you are freaking amazing! My daughter is 6 months now and I’ve used formula the whole time. I tried to breastfeed but my breast milk never came in. I felt guilt for not being able to provide my baby food that was designed for her. But she’s happy and super healthy! You got this girl! 😊
And that's all that matters! That she's happy and healthy!😊❤❤
When Colleen said it’s good for me and the “kids”, I literally balled my eyes out. Their family is so cute!
Hi colleen, I was fed formula since my first feeding and I turned out perfectly fine and healthy ! And I never knew the difference. 24 years later and I think the world of my mom she’s the absolute best ! Take it from a daughters perspective moms are true miracles and there’s no such thing as doing the “wrong thing” when you’re heart is filled with love and care for your kids! I know it’s easier said than done but pack up that mom guilt because you are killing it !
When I finally saw a lactation consultant at 5 months she looked at my chart and was like, oh, you had pre-eclampsia, and a premie, and a hemorrhage after birth that lead to anemia. All of those things can cause problems with your milk supply. And it was like this huge relief cause she was basically telling me that it wasn’t my fault. I wish someone had told me at the hospital that all those things might affect my supply, because I think it would have helped me be kinder to myself. Coleen, you went through such a difficult pregnancy and birth. Your body is still healing from both, and it may be part of the reason you are struggling with your supply. Don’t ever feel like you aren’t doing enough. Your body has already given them so much, and they will be just as healthy and happy when / if you switch to formula.
Hey Colleen, while I am nowhere near to being a mom, I am a twin. My mother used formula the entire time with me and my brother and I can say we were healthy and happy, especially seeing how my brother is 6'7''. Try not to judge yourself too much for you are doing great and as you have seen in your comments you have a ton of support through your journey and have helped/inspired so many people as well. You are doing great and I wish you and your family all the hope and happiness 💕
Tortilla talk question: what advice do you have for people who are pregnant for the first time and nervous/scared about everything? You are an incredible mom ❤️
Rule #1: comparison is the thief of joy! You’re doing great, it’s just connecting that in your self talk to be able to feel that way. I understand how hard us women can be on ourselves and it can be challenging to turn it around in our heads. It’s a process. Journal all the things you’re doing right or just journal. Even if you only have 5 mins. As always (like you are an advocates for) continue to do what’s best for you and fam. I’m so glad you and family are healthy and safe. God bless 🥰
Hey momma, I am a mother baby nurse and I have watched your whole journey. I want you to know LOTS of mommas formula feed from the get go and the babies turn out perfect. You have got this. Get Lactation consultant involved and feed those babes 😘
I had a hard time teaching my first baby to breastfeed. He got REALLY frustrated REALLY quickly and then found it even harder to latch, so I totally understand how you feel. I was taught to persuade him to try feeding before he was obviously hungry or upset about anything else. I also used nipple shields (which I did find tricky and annoying but were easier for him) to begin with and gradually transitioned him off them after a few weeks. It sounds so simple when I write it here but it was a LOT of work, I almost gave up but was persuaded by nurses at the hospital to keep trying and they gave me a lot of lactation advice and support, without which I would have given up in the first week. The 'persuading' before he was frustrated was what really helped. It took a lot of patience to get him interested, but it was much less stressful than desperately trying to work out a latch when I was exhausted and he was already screaming.
I just had my first son November 6th 2021. My plan was to breastfeed, but my main goal was to make sure he was fed to matter what. At the hospital the LC praised my son for being able to latch so quick, but I knew something wasn’t right. I mentioned it hurt, and was told I was sensitive, and that would go away. The next day when we went home I was in so much pain, both breast were one “latch” away from bleeding. I felt defeated, my son was hungry, we had no pump (on its way in the mail), I couldn’t feed my son; the one thing I should be able to do. I cried while my husband drove across several towns to find a store open at 2am to find a pump. Once I received my pump in the mail, all I did was pump for my son. The pain my breast were in scared me to try and have him latch. One day he was crying so hard I just put him on my breast, it hurt, but I knew he needed to eat. I am now doing better, but my supply is low. I only have enough to feed him. I have nothing left to pump out. I know my breastfeeding journey will be short, but I will always have feed my son, breast milk or formula. *** Try nipple shields for your twins. They are to protect you, but in a way turn your nipple into the nipple of a bottle. That might get them to latch and stay latched to you so you can breastfeed them directly***
My son needed formula supplementation from almost day one and I combo fed for two months before I switched to 100% formula and stopped breastfeeding/pumping. It was the hardest decision because of the shame and failure I felt, but I was so relieved when I switched to formula. I’m pregnant with #2 now and plan to completely formula feed from day one, I can’t go through the stress again. I hope you can choose the best option for your babies and your mental health soon. 💕
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 localdate.monster/HANABI?NUDE_DATTING♀️🔞 💜 PRIVATE S*X
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Tortilla talk question: so far, what is your favorite thing about each of the twins? Do they already have little quirks that you can pick up on?
Hey Colleen! I pumped for two weeks and just couldn’t do it mentally. I was exhausted. In pain. And it took so much effort and time away from my baby so for my family I made the choice to go to formula only and my babies where very happy with it. They where healthy, hit all their growth and developmental learning marks like all the breast feed babies. You are amazing mama sometimes the best thing you can do for your family is do what is least stressful to you because it helps you have a more positive attitude and helps ease the stress level around feedings. Whatever you do your babies will be healthy, strong, and love you just as much. You’ve got this hun!
I feel you Colleen, I went through that twice, with both my boys. I tried to fully breastfeed them, but couldn’t. I had to give them formula plus my milk and I felt then same, that thought of guilt… Anyways, like you said, we did and are doing the best thing for our babies, for our family, for us moms!! Love love love your blogs!! ❤️❤️❤️
youre not failing at this at all, youre doing amazing, do whatever feels right to you, do what you need to do. were so proud of you colleen!!
I relate so much to this. I had my first baby last year and he ended up in the NICU and I pumped for 2 months. I tried to breastfeed and it just didn't go well. I got shame from some of the nurses at the hospital and I felt shame also. I felt like I was failing. I battled for weeks and cried a ton before I finally decided to switch to formula/bottle and after a few weeks my mental health was so much better. Do what you think is best but just believe what you're saying is true.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 localdate.monster/HANABI?NUDE_DATTING♀️🔞 💜 PRIVATE S*X
#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
!💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
6:40 her shock when she read that ugh Colleen is so wholesome and I loved the reassurance she gave the commenter.
Hey Colleen! I just wanted to let you know that me and my mom have bonded over your vlogs together recently and we both think you’re an amazing mama and are so proud of you!! The best part about watching your vlogs together is that we LOVE the intro. It has become a big inside joke to sing the intro that Flynn sings to each other at random points throughout the day, and it never fails to make us smile. It has become such a big part of our life and it’s lovely that your story and updates on your life with your kiddos can help other people like me and my mom grow closer too. Love ya Colleen!!
It’s so important to remember that ANY amount of breastmilk is amazing for your babies, and is absolutely not negated by supplementing with formula. Combination feeding is an incredible option for so many moms, baby gets all the benefits of breastmilk while mom gets to feel the security of knowing that formula is always there if you need it. You are a superwoman for feeding your babies any way you can!!! ❤️
Can I just say Colleen, I had my first baby at 22. I was so young, and naive. My son cluster fed and it would be for 40 minutes, every 30 minutes.. and I was exhausted. My mental health was shockingly bad, I was crying 24/7 because I was shamed for thinking about formula as an alternative rather than sticking with it. My health visitor even told me to "get over it" - safe to say we never saw her again. My then-husband walked out the house and bought formula because who I was as a person was gone. I sobbed, hard- but it was the best decision he made because the sleep and feeding could be regulated. I understand I don't have twins but I too had the internal struggle, even though looking back he absolutely made the right choice to do that, to save me from crashing and burning.
I love seeing you and Erik together with the family. I know that’s so hard for lots of parents with work. What a joy for you ❤️