Ep. 119 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Комментарии • 3 тыс.

  • @markmeiers141
    @markmeiers141 2 года назад +1537

    Tom needs to make another solo podcast where he watches clips from this show and tells us what he was gonna say.

  • @mrjxn007
    @mrjxn007 2 года назад +852

    Brent’s word of the day: “QUANTIFY” 13:55 “QUANTIFY” 36:26 “QUANTIFY” 37:04 “QUANTIFY” 37:18 “QUANTIFY” 1:01:13

    • @jeeee3f
      @jeeee3f 2 года назад +62

      Thank you for your service

    • @jibba1681
      @jibba1681 2 года назад +7

      Word of the day toilet paper

    • @MrZeroBrains
      @MrZeroBrains 2 года назад +29

      But can you really blame Bart, it's sounds big and smart but is easy to say. Before you know it, he'll be saying "it's entirely possible" like a pro

    • @psyphonyxaudio
      @psyphonyxaudio 2 года назад +3

      Is this a thing now? .. we use a different name for Brandon?

    • @tiffanythorpe1053
      @tiffanythorpe1053 2 года назад +2

      LOL

  • @dfrag83
    @dfrag83 2 года назад +159

    Props to Burnt for colour co-ordinating his wardrobe by matching his sweatshirt to his face

    • @erincreedon6441
      @erincreedon6441 2 года назад +7

      Hahahaha, fuckin under rated comment.

    • @karceri2475
      @karceri2475 2 года назад +3

      The color has been so off and much darker since the move to Austin.

    • @GG-jq9hb
      @GG-jq9hb 2 года назад +2

      🤣🤣👏

    • @oncerain
      @oncerain 2 года назад +2

      @@karceri2475 eating so much barbeque his face has started assimilating

    • @Dante.-
      @Dante.- 2 года назад

      these one of those comments that really would probably ruin his day if he saw it

  • @Chukwuddi
    @Chukwuddi 2 года назад +358

    Bart's face as red and his hoodie. Pinnacle of Health I tell ya.

    • @ayron419
      @ayron419 2 года назад +29

      A gallon of Kool aid a day keeps the doctor away

    • @superbman4088
      @superbman4088 2 года назад +10

      Barf Kruton

    • @googleedood9721
      @googleedood9721 2 года назад +7

      Burnt Krisper

    • @chepoppy
      @chepoppy 2 года назад +4

      Burp Krensheer

    • @paulfarmer9443
      @paulfarmer9443 2 года назад +1

      Unrelated:
      Cool hoodie tho- who makes it?

  • @nicciabattoni9771
    @nicciabattoni9771 2 года назад +140

    Tom mocking Enny "hot sauce is the best" was the funniest shit

    • @MultiTravellingman
      @MultiTravellingman 2 года назад +5

      Not sure why he did it though.

    • @supernovamimosa
      @supernovamimosa 2 года назад +8

      1:03:48 for anyone tryna find it

    • @Just0wnedEsport
      @Just0wnedEsport 2 года назад +7

      How are everyone in the studio is sooo tok'd, they didn't see "We are mexican company..." right there on the screen?

    • @nicciabattoni9771
      @nicciabattoni9771 2 года назад +2

      @@MultiTravellingman to be funny

    • @unemployedshitheel5084
      @unemployedshitheel5084 2 года назад +1

      Bro, I thought I was going to die from laughing. I'm crying...

  • @WickedSpade
    @WickedSpade 2 года назад +84

    1:03:50 Hot sauce is the best! Cant wait for the tshirt!

    • @nickpeterson2196
      @nickpeterson2196 2 года назад +2

      thanks for posting this! saved me alot of time

  • @obomonus1064
    @obomonus1064 2 года назад +170

    Tom's gotta love this gig. He just shows up, sits down, sips a drink, and let's Burnt just go to town.

    • @omarfouda6104
      @omarfouda6104 2 года назад +2

      hahahahhahaa

    • @Loser-lh8di
      @Loser-lh8di 2 года назад +7

      And lucky us, we get to suffer.

    • @jakeybball
      @jakeybball 2 года назад

      @@Loser-lh8di berts standup is painful, but he is absolutely fucking hilarious on this podcast. Not always on purpose.

    • @macktrainor5223
      @macktrainor5223 2 года назад

      Burnt lmfao

  • @KnivesMonroe
    @KnivesMonroe 2 года назад +192

    Bert totally deserves how Leann treats him.
    She's the only one who doesn't totally enable him. I respect that.

    • @groomedtodie
      @groomedtodie 2 года назад +3

      Nah. She treats him that way to feel better about enabling him.

    • @ekothesilent9456
      @ekothesilent9456 2 года назад

      Bert to his wife: “ I’m really hungover I need to have a few drinks tonight to ride this out”
      Bert’s wife: “okay, you should have a few drinks”

  • @LeonFeldmanMusic
    @LeonFeldmanMusic 2 года назад +154

    1:03:56 will go down in history as one of the funniest moment in this pods history - and Burt fully missed it.

    • @El_Wanderer91
      @El_Wanderer91 2 года назад +5

      I'm confused. Why is that so funny?

    • @jesseromanchak8213
      @jesseromanchak8213 2 года назад +23

      @@El_Wanderer91 I feel like it's funny because they stopped to get Enny's input and instead of him elaborating on why hot sauce is so good he just gives a quick "hot sauce is the best" which Tom mocked a little because it wasn't a super insightful comment lol

    • @jesseromanchak8213
      @jesseromanchak8213 2 года назад +26

      @@El_Wanderer91 also bc I don't think Enny was expecting so much heat for such a harmless comment 😂

    • @petvirus05
      @petvirus05 2 года назад +12

      Came back just for this portion of the episode! Haha

    • @DontMurderTime
      @DontMurderTime 2 года назад +11

      Nadavs face too 🤣🤣🤣

  • @kunai92
    @kunai92 2 года назад +1003

    New studio got me feeling they're members of an economic think tank. The first thing Bert says will stamp out that belief, I bet.

    • @Jaydon_Perez
      @Jaydon_Perez 2 года назад +10

      Bert says invest in stamps

    • @hlinville6034
      @hlinville6034 2 года назад +8

      My first impression was the Fortress of Solitude.

    • @mrs.h2725
      @mrs.h2725 2 года назад +25

      After this and Rogan's Death Star set, I’m thinking TX designers are into the racing car bed look.

    • @rams812
      @rams812 2 года назад +3

      Anyone else immediately think Knights of the round gut table?

    • @vidcarr
      @vidcarr 2 года назад +14

      They're podcasting in an empty shoe store

  • @neighborbruce
    @neighborbruce 2 года назад +65

    Nadav back in the day: "Yes sir, right away."
    Nadav now: "I'm tryna get this fuckin paper, dawg".

  • @andrewp5732
    @andrewp5732 2 года назад +67

    Brett's right on the Whataburger pronunciation. No one says "what-a-burger" they all say "wottaburger".

    • @robertoi5847
      @robertoi5847 2 года назад +14

      Yes! I'm glad someone said it cause I was on Bert's side for this. No one pronounces it "what-a-burger". It's all one word

    • @youngkhronic2243
      @youngkhronic2243 2 года назад +3

      Water burger

    • @reefchiefer
      @reefchiefer 2 года назад +4

      I grew up in the midwest and have always called it what a burger. I moved to Louisiana and everyone thought I was crazy because everyone down south calls it wattaburger

    • @gavinmorris95
      @gavinmorris95 2 года назад +5

      @@reefchiefer yeah b/c you’re crazy

    • @jeremiahbridges1189
      @jeremiahbridges1189 2 года назад +4

      Borf is right… for once

  • @tylerzulewski2424
    @tylerzulewski2424 2 года назад +363

    Only Bert can get a hangover and say “This is why I’m like David Goggins” and actually be serious.

    • @auraglasswerks4900
      @auraglasswerks4900 2 года назад +2

      For two rich guys they sure do dress like dorks Tom acts like he’s got fashion sense what is that ish he’s wearing looks like a fN idiot, And Burt makes him look a fashion god😂

    • @bowflexmike
      @bowflexmike 2 года назад +6

      i love how he brought fashion in this lol damn let people live

    • @shoonger001
      @shoonger001 2 года назад +9

      @@auraglasswerks4900 sounds like you been hanging on to this insult for awhile... Who actually cares about fashion?

    • @nosohoentertainment4642
      @nosohoentertainment4642 2 года назад +2

      @@shoonger001 I care about fashion and I think Burnt has been looking great lately.

    • @kristiskinner8542
      @kristiskinner8542 2 года назад +11

      @@auraglasswerks4900 like dorks? They have on normal comfy clothes chomo

  • @user-zb6lg1xj3k
    @user-zb6lg1xj3k 2 года назад +158

    The way Tom laughs to himself about how much Burnt talks while he’s talking

    • @Kitty6161
      @Kitty6161 2 года назад +8

      I just always hope that Tim knows that we too, are chuckling and shaking our collective heads as an audience as well ahahahha

    • @rigney777
      @rigney777 2 года назад +3

      “Weird best friend Tom” - Anthony Jeselnik

    • @hotairballoonphobia3486
      @hotairballoonphobia3486 2 года назад +3

      Brent was way too drunk this episode

  • @MikeSmith-zo4cb
    @MikeSmith-zo4cb 2 года назад +3

    I love how they end with the I love you's to each other. True Friends For Life

  • @robertpetrie6999
    @robertpetrie6999 2 года назад +302

    Burnt should do The Cabin part II but instead of a bunch of comedians spending time with him, it should be a bunch of other addicts. And they're all sober the whole time. And there are addiction specialists to help them. Rehab, he should do rehab.

    • @JR-rz1br
      @JR-rz1br 2 года назад +8

      Watch his chat with Nick Kroll on Bertcast, he asks about Mulaney's intervention all giddy with excitement and Kroll is disgusted.

    • @goingsolo1467
      @goingsolo1467 2 года назад

      And play the show on intervention

    • @kristiskinner8542
      @kristiskinner8542 2 года назад +1

      Lame🙄

    • @millardfilmore1403
      @millardfilmore1403 2 года назад +4

      @@JR-rz1br that was actually disgusting and annoying but Nick didn’t really show many signs of being “disgusted”. Not that he wasn’t. He for SURE was. I’m just saying he made sure not to show it visibly and Bert who can’t read social cues apparently didn’t notice lol

    • @SexyBulletBill
      @SexyBulletBill 2 года назад +2

      You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

  • @sentientcardboarddumpster7900
    @sentientcardboarddumpster7900 2 года назад +154

    Bert: I don't have any food sensitivities.
    Also Bert, mere seconds later: hot sauce fucks me up 6 hours after I eat it.

  • @EwokPanda
    @EwokPanda 2 года назад +192

    I'm honestly so frustrated for Nadav that the whole setup from last episode just casually got brushed under the rug and now became a "whatever."

    • @deluxe4116
      @deluxe4116 2 года назад +2

      What setup?

    • @aacegeo
      @aacegeo 2 года назад +37

      I'm so disappointed! I listened to that ep at the gym and felt so motivated to get fit with Patty. Between the workouts, the blind date concept, the live show, the money... they had months worth of content. Now they're floating 215 by November? So he has to lose like 4lbs a month? I need some answers...

    • @shiftgood
      @shiftgood 2 года назад +28

      Fat people gonna fat.

    • @kendallleingang
      @kendallleingang 2 года назад +29

      Probably because what they were proposing was an absolute train wreck/not safe.

    • @shiftgood
      @shiftgood 2 года назад +10

      @@kendallleingang Its incredible how much weight you can lose if you just train your body to burn fat. I lost 20lbs in one month and felt amazing. Went to the doctors and had a flawless report card from him... I feel like the "not safe" part of this is kind of stuck in the past and doesn't reflect how good modern nutrition/exercise is.

  • @kdaddy9229
    @kdaddy9229 2 года назад +228

    Listening to Brent is like having 6 poorly written books in front of you and opening up each book to a random page and reading half a paragraph and then switching books.

  • @camshend
    @camshend 2 года назад +263

    The only thing that could break Goggins down is listening to Bert for seven minutes.

    • @Cadorkis
      @Cadorkis 2 года назад +1

      Hahaha I wonder if Goggins could handle him

  • @mariomartin1335
    @mariomartin1335 2 года назад +26

    This was great… 95% brent talking and 5% Tom. A real dialog going.

    • @mads4724
      @mads4724 2 года назад +1

      Cry about it

  • @lakotac6944
    @lakotac6944 2 года назад +82

    With the white background of the new set you can definitely see how red Burnt’s face is getting

    • @MichaelWutsch
      @MichaelWutsch 2 года назад +3

      Alcohol tends to do that, you can see the bloat too

    • @toastedjoe1013
      @toastedjoe1013 2 года назад

      Like Chris Farley driving the bus on Billy Madison.

    • @hi86065
      @hi86065 2 года назад

      Ugliest studio ever.

  • @kioskatthemall5603
    @kioskatthemall5603 2 года назад +60

    That’s super cool that the podcast is now being filmed in some office at the Bespin mining facility.

  • @MrConeman
    @MrConeman 2 года назад +15

    Tom: "I just wanted to thank all the fans for preordering my boo..."
    Barf: "Anyway, about my movie"

  • @Pladderkasse
    @Pladderkasse 2 года назад +168

    Still counting down to the "AA intervention in the Bear Cave" episode. Tom cant keep ignoring it.

    • @anothertheory3610
      @anothertheory3610 2 года назад

      The Germ Theory was never actually proven to be 100% accurate, yet the trillion dollar medical industry is entirely based on that theory. What's the CAUSE of death in people with this "virus"? Does their brain explode? Does their heart stop beating? The CAUSE of death is still pneumonia. Pneumonia is not something you can "catch". You DEVELOP it, just like you develop cancer. It's a biological result of being "scared to death" of something. Think of it like an internal wound that you can't see, but when it starts to heal (when the traumatic event dissipates), the healing of the wounds in the lungs will cause pain, mucus, blood, fever, headaches, coughing, etc. The cause of death from Small Pox wasn't acne-like cysts. That's not enough to kill anyone. The cause of death was PNEUMONIA. A specific death fright soldiers and Indians felt due to them attacking each other during this traumatic period in time. These were the only people who had Small Pox. A vaccine only stopped the acne cysts from forming, which is basically a histamine response. Pneumonia still develops and cannot be stopped or vaccinated against. It's like trying to vaccinate your body to prevent it from healing a bruise or a cut. You don't show the symptoms of "disease" until you stop being panicked and afraid. These symptoms usually show up 1-2 weeks after you've relaxed and resolved the upsetting event.

      Governments around the world are CAUSING fear frights, thus CAUSING all the illnesses, aka Boogey Virus, in everyone based on an unproven THEORY by one man, Louis Pasteur, who redacted his claim of the germ theory on his death bed, yet no one listened. The US is following an outdated theory that's 100 years old and has not questioned or retested that "science" since then. They believed In witches and curses back then!! Could it be because a Ca-Zillion dollar medical industry profits on following an outdated "science" model?! They've been using the same cancer "treatment" for 80 YEARS. They can't think of something besides POISON in all this time?!?!

      So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and believe they then have the "scary virus", and more panic will ensue as well as martial law. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it.

    • @jemiiam
      @jemiiam 2 года назад

      For Andrew Schulz just did it with Bobby Lee so it's probably coming as soon as Andrew comes on

    • @toastedjoe1013
      @toastedjoe1013 2 года назад

      @@jemiiam Bobby Lee has so many issues that drinking has to be #55 on the list.

    • @nicholenardone4443
      @nicholenardone4443 2 года назад

      @@jemiiam There are a few more podcasts he should hit if he is telling ppl to go to rehab.

    • @mdaddyw_1323
      @mdaddyw_1323 2 года назад +1

      Or the YMH episode Tom turns to the camera to say in other news, 2B1C will be going on a hiatus for awhile because Bert has finally agreed to get the help everyone knew he always needed. Or because Bert is AWOL off the rails because LeeAnne finally got tired of it and took off. Either or because something's gotta give

  • @adandyday
    @adandyday 2 года назад +56

    I understand this is delayed. But. Bert opening this podcast asking “which celebrity should I be friends with?” a DAY after Tom posted Brad Pitt in his dressing room on Insta is so fucking perfect.

  • @PLDLEE
    @PLDLEE 2 года назад +11

    I love how Bert just thinks people wait around for his calls lmfaooo

  • @mwj9433
    @mwj9433 2 года назад +56

    48:30 Tom pumping the breaks on Brett creating, in any other work environment, a legitimate HR nightmere lmfao

  • @jemiiam
    @jemiiam 2 года назад +169

    Ya kno i wish they did like a real cave theme...have cavemen drawings on the wall of bert shitting in his hand and of tom broken on the ground, some fish laying around and drop rocks hangin from the ceiling, and their chairs could be boulders

    • @ViewedOak
      @ViewedOak 2 года назад +24

      Yea this just looks like another generic modern podcast set, with the added bonus of the white walls really making Beet’s red face shine

    • @rottingcorpse6565
      @rottingcorpse6565 2 года назад +12

      That would honestly be so much better than this generic garbage.

    • @IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI
      @IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI 2 года назад +7

      That would of looked cool. I cant stand this new set. From the trash design to the "lets make it more hip hop for toms side and hats for berts side" haha lacks creativity and the obvious

    • @ryanirving3388
      @ryanirving3388 2 года назад +3

      This would be dope. I feel like all these Podcasters are using the same contractor/designer to build their studios and whoever they are they're leading them all in the wrong direction lol

    • @jemiiam
      @jemiiam 2 года назад +1

      @@ryanirving3388 yeah they going for a gamer type studio...like "well ninja and whoever has it look like a spaceship so it must be cool"

  • @mobuctze87
    @mobuctze87 2 года назад +64

    Bert: my wife is probably being boring elsewhere
    Also Bert: wanna hear one of the same 4 stories I’ve told 6 times each for the last 3 months on podcasts

  • @rOhmz
    @rOhmz 2 года назад +223

    Can we just call this show what it is, “Bert shows us how Adult ADHD and Severe Mania manifest in an alcoholic” 👍

    • @juanthenative7114
      @juanthenative7114 2 года назад +21

      Finally an accurate take on Brent, instead of everyone shitting on him incorrectly. Im all for shitting on him but do it right

    • @alyssamary7132
      @alyssamary7132 2 года назад +4

      I’m 32 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD I’d bet everything that I have that he has it too. Also his daughter was just diagnosed with APD which I was diagnosed with before ADHD 40% of people with ADHD have both . Where’s Dr.Drew when you need him ?! The struggles of ADHD are no joke hopefully he gets help to better understand himself .

    • @Wayzor_
      @Wayzor_ 2 года назад +2

      And cool hats. Bart always has the best hats.

    • @xanderthurteen
      @xanderthurteen 2 года назад +1

      100%

    • @groomedtodie
      @groomedtodie 2 года назад +15

      @@alyssamary7132 congratulations on being able to type all of this with your debilitating condition. You're just like David Goggins.

  • @GymAndSun
    @GymAndSun 2 года назад +142

    Nice super villain hideout! Tom is Lex Luthor because he’s now bald and Bert is Deathstroke because we worry for him

    • @ProfessorDrutonium
      @ProfessorDrutonium 2 года назад +14

      Death by stroke*

    • @TheStu9000
      @TheStu9000 2 года назад

      @@ProfessorDrutonium well played

    • @Beunibster
      @Beunibster 2 года назад +4

      @@ProfessorDrutonium Death bi stroke*
      Borf talks a lot about naked dudes these days

    • @austinscott1256
      @austinscott1256 2 года назад +3

      Idk I'm getting more Gorilla Grodd vibes from Bert minus the hyper intelligence

    • @elijahwalker9491
      @elijahwalker9491 2 года назад

      Bizzaro

  • @stephencrowell1447
    @stephencrowell1447 2 года назад +44

    When Tom sighs, I know he’s picturing leaping over the table and stapling barnts mouth shut. Me too Tom.

  • @Friu887
    @Friu887 2 года назад +60

    I’ve been having a rough go with depression, 6 min in you guys put a smile on my face . Thanks boys for keeping me laughing And reminding me to lighten and laugh .

    • @robertpetrie6999
      @robertpetrie6999 2 года назад +5

      I'm sorry you're going through it my friend. Do something nice for yourself, this doesn't last forever.

    • @danielarmendarez3350
      @danielarmendarez3350 2 года назад +6

      Everything gon C alright 🖐🏼🖐🏼

    • @PrYMELyFe
      @PrYMELyFe 2 года назад +3

      Take it a day at a time, you’re important too.

    • @anthonygiancola2571
      @anthonygiancola2571 2 года назад +4

      It may not seem like it now, but shit gets better, just be genuine.

    • @evfields24
      @evfields24 2 года назад +3

      It’s gonna get better man, I promise. Go do something for yourself today 👊🏼

  • @ja5304
    @ja5304 2 года назад +99

    Tom is slowly transitioning Bret into a hospital room

    • @TrollHunterxXx
      @TrollHunterxXx 2 года назад +4

      Bert has no idea like a frog in boiling water 🤣

    • @kurtlawlor5617
      @kurtlawlor5617 2 года назад +1

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @bheinatz1
      @bheinatz1 2 года назад +1

      😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @ProjectShowtimePod
    @ProjectShowtimePod 2 года назад +10

    I'll never forget in a recent episode where Tom told Bert he looks like he was lost at sea for a while......incredible accurate, especially this episode

  • @epicassassin11
    @epicassassin11 2 года назад +91

    Can’t wait to get news that Bart is expecting a child with Tom’s maid and that he is moving to Austin to start a new life.

    • @jemiiam
      @jemiiam 2 года назад +1

      He already has...this episode was filmed 2 weeks ago 😂😂

  • @Cyxz666
    @Cyxz666 2 года назад +73

    Bert is so hurt that LeeAnn told him to cut one of his "great" stories. I'm sure she did us all a favor

    • @rams812
      @rams812 2 года назад +5

      Lookin like he was about to cry. Big baby can't handle criticism

    • @StanleyKubick1
      @StanleyKubick1 2 года назад +4

      notice how Tom didn't defend it

  • @JayMac
    @JayMac 2 года назад +3

    "I was partying in Salt........ The place we went skiing".. 🤦‍♂️ this dude lmao

  • @pizzaninja.
    @pizzaninja. 2 года назад +60

    Can't believe they waited that long for the new studio. I could've just put 2 ice cube trays behind them and call it good 🤣

  • @reelquickedits
    @reelquickedits 2 года назад +81

    Brett has hit a new level of delusion: “I’ve got a bit of Goggins mentality inside of me”

    • @WBOMBS1232
      @WBOMBS1232 2 года назад +12

      No I agree with him, it’s just a David Goggins mentality for being a degenerate instead of a Navy SEAL

    • @Beunibster
      @Beunibster 2 года назад +7

      @@WBOMBS1232 "I drink more by 6 AM than most people drink ALL DAY!"

    • @doodoodoometal
      @doodoodoometal 2 года назад +1

      Stay Fat!!

    • @Doober117
      @Doober117 2 года назад

      @@WBOMBS1232 LMAO I agree, the mentality is there but all for the wrong reasons

  • @plixplop
    @plixplop 2 года назад +1

    I'm in tears on the last conversation about Whataburger where Tom keeps trying to gently explain it to Bert, "Buddy..."

  • @5cent27
    @5cent27 2 года назад +217

    10 minutes in and Brent has gone over about 38 different topics. It’s like a cat chasing multiple laser pointers.
    Also what was the deal at 1:22:00? What was that awkward jab that Bert took at Tom that didn’t land and then Tom looked all awkward in the eyes. What was that? Someone watch it and tell me. Yeahhhhh…. I’m getting bad vibes from this. Something is gonna break or something, I get vibes from the end of this pod.

    • @barclaylosse8189
      @barclaylosse8189 2 года назад +6

      38 topics from a month ago... shit was taped a month ago!

    • @drmojo5439
      @drmojo5439 2 года назад +2

      @@barclaylosse8189 k. Relevant?

    • @boonanaman2739
      @boonanaman2739 2 года назад +1

      am i the only one around here who realizes Bert has blatant ADHD. its so obvious

    • @drmojo5439
      @drmojo5439 2 года назад +8

      @@boonanaman2739 yeah, You're The One and Only

    • @MetalcoreExpert
      @MetalcoreExpert 2 года назад +8

      To me it seemed like burnt realized he may be stepping on Tom's old jokes.

  • @daveycrockett9412
    @daveycrockett9412 2 года назад +25

    I saw Bert greet his wife when she was pulling into the parking location where his tour bus was and he was flexing for her arrival, and now I know he flexes after his arrival too.

  • @travis8106
    @travis8106 2 года назад +1

    Tom mocking Enny is the funniest thing I've seen on 2 bears in a while. And Bert was completely oblivious to it

  • @spindlybird27
    @spindlybird27 2 года назад +33

    Bert’s right about Whataburger!! Tom is also right because that’s how it’s spelled. I grew up with everyone calling it “Waterburger”

    • @willpross6706
      @willpross6706 2 года назад +3

      yep, its strange to be like, Im pretty sure Burnt is correct.

    • @dakotalenzi7630
      @dakotalenzi7630 2 года назад +2

      Because it was prolly in an accent, Bart is just illiterate along with a slew of southern folk….

    • @jacobm.p7044
      @jacobm.p7044 2 года назад

      Yes

  • @peds8345
    @peds8345 2 года назад +75

    Every woman that has teeth. "She is so fucking HOT" - Bart

    • @nick5142
      @nick5142 2 года назад

      The pro gamers ones was best

  • @agassisant.6256
    @agassisant.6256 2 года назад +15

    Usually I find Brent talking over Tom hilarious but this one was rough 😂

  • @chrisg7663
    @chrisg7663 2 года назад +38

    This isn't how I thought the new 2 Bears studio would look. I thought it was going to be like a log cabin or something lol

    • @shiftgood
      @shiftgood 2 года назад +8

      There must be something about building a set in Austin that makes you fuck up completely.

    • @LadyMot
      @LadyMot 2 года назад +2

      Kind of lost it's charm

    • @livelaughForte
      @livelaughForte 2 года назад +2

      Tbh not into it.... looks like espn

  • @jg1814
    @jg1814 2 года назад +14

    On today’s episode Bert will explain exactly what’s wrong with him and forget it by next episode and have a breakthrough that happiness makes him happy

  • @georgieboy_htown4eva4eva
    @georgieboy_htown4eva4eva 2 года назад +7

    The studio matches Barts' personality, all over the place.

  • @dimm94
    @dimm94 2 года назад +128

    Nadav's laughter is too quiet now! Makes me realize how integral his laugh was to the mood of the show!

    • @Pladderkasse
      @Pladderkasse 2 года назад +9

      The new decor is shit.

    • @TKOConnor1
      @TKOConnor1 2 года назад

      @@Pladderkasse I like it

    • @braytonmiller3832
      @braytonmiller3832 2 года назад +4

      Nadav’s laugh is the worst part of the show.

    • @Pladderkasse
      @Pladderkasse 2 года назад +6

      @@TKOConnor1 Seriously? It looks like the cheapest Star Wars for your kids room installations, you could possibly find. It also leave the room feeling "cold" and almost hospital like. Each to his own, I guess.

    • @langer4
      @langer4 2 года назад

      @@braytonmiller3832 agreed

  • @Side_quests_Simon
    @Side_quests_Simon 2 года назад +62

    It’s so funny how fast Bert has aged compared to Tom like Bert looks like he aged 10 years in just 3 years

    • @johnpierre2135
      @johnpierre2135 2 года назад +9

      Idk if it's funny, kinda sad in account that I love these guys and their content across every platform. I'm really glad that Tom doesn't seem to be off his game too much after his father passing. My condolences to all of Big Poppas loved ones btw!

    • @AtlasTurner
      @AtlasTurner 2 года назад +2

      Berts like 5 years older than Tom don't forget

    • @firghteningtruth7173
      @firghteningtruth7173 2 года назад +1

      Honestly, go back and watch some of toms early stuff. He hit the "quick aging" period quicker it seems like.
      Tom went from looking 30 to 45 in like 5 years. 🤣

    • @Side_quests_Simon
      @Side_quests_Simon 2 года назад +1

      I never said I want blart to die I’m just saying every episode he looks closer to death does he not look swollen and red as shit?! This is a guy that’s quoted saying “I’ve passed out from coughing”

    • @firghteningtruth7173
      @firghteningtruth7173 2 года назад

      @@Side_quests_Simon thats just the kool-aid doin its job.
      Nothing to worry about.

  • @dogspajamas
    @dogspajamas 2 года назад +1

    I work at a restaurant and we make a creamy, green, hot sauce. It's jalapeño, lime juice, cilantro, garlic, and parmasean. Blend all that until its smooth, then mix it together with mayo and season to taste. It sounds weird but everyone loves it. Piss on me, beat me, try it out.

  • @johns4719
    @johns4719 2 года назад +91

    42 minutes in…. Yet another episode of 2 Berts, No Tom.

    • @candimiss9059
      @candimiss9059 2 года назад

      😂

    • @joshuadewez1732
      @joshuadewez1732 2 года назад +9

      It’s getting harder and harder and I’m starting to hate Burnt 🤷‍♂️

    • @TimWillsee
      @TimWillsee 2 года назад +4

      @@joshuadewez1732 Same, Bert literally ruins the entire thing for me now, which stinks, cause Tom is a legend

  • @Cyxz666
    @Cyxz666 2 года назад +45

    Bert: "I destroyed that pussy"
    Bert: "It lasted about 15 seconds"

  • @bigsin781
    @bigsin781 2 года назад

    "Back the fuck up rogan!" Lmao I fucking love this man!!

  • @Kelticfury
    @Kelticfury 2 года назад +78

    That was not a legit spit take, that was Bert marking his territory.

    • @TazTalksYouListen
      @TazTalksYouListen 2 года назад

      Yeah, but referencing the after-sex (if you can call 15 seconds that) photo, doesn't Brent usually just mark his territory with jizz?

  • @fatb0i33
    @fatb0i33 2 года назад +18

    Love the new studio but I would like the booth boys audio to be a little louder. Their laughs get me every time :)

  • @brownchubb
    @brownchubb 2 года назад +18

    First time I've seen Enni being clowned on. lmao 1:03:43

  • @dabronzekneeecap
    @dabronzekneeecap 2 года назад +14

    When Tom mocked Enny and it showed Ennys surprised faced lmaoo had me dying.

    • @benjamintrahin9571
      @benjamintrahin9571 2 года назад +5

      Can't believe this is the only comment I could find lol shit was hilarious

    • @dabronzekneeecap
      @dabronzekneeecap 2 года назад +1

      @@benjamintrahin9571 ik I was hoping to see more of it

    • @TurdyFresh
      @TurdyFresh 2 года назад +1

      Tom had ZERO remorse for that venom he spit! Shit had me rolling and enny and nadav both looked like “oh shit, he’s mad”

  • @lukewojdylo9241
    @lukewojdylo9241 2 года назад +82

    Finally a real cave. Now we can get a Tom cutout and Bert can just talk to the echos.

    • @thebkstank2095
      @thebkstank2095 2 года назад +4

      Underrated comment

    • @jemiiam
      @jemiiam 2 года назад +5

      Ya kno i wish they did like a real cave theme...have cavemen drawings on the wall of bert shitting in his hand and of tom broken on the ground, some fish laying around and drop rocks hangin from the ceiling, and their chairs could be boulders

    • @megyskermike
      @megyskermike 2 года назад +1

      @@thebkstank2095 How is it an underrated comment??...he made it less than an hour ago.

    • @sissyofFreemont
      @sissyofFreemont 2 года назад

      @@jemiiam yes! That's what I thought. A big cave studio, damn. Coulda woulda shoulda

    • @SwabLevy
      @SwabLevy 2 года назад

      @@megyskermike* underrated observation 😆* when speaking in quips and cliches goes wrong

  • @m.i.a3532
    @m.i.a3532 2 года назад +1

    Loving the new set, really brings the Bert together.

  • @jonathanknelsen8195
    @jonathanknelsen8195 2 года назад +39

    Bruce is actually right in the Whataburger debate. Here in Texas, we say it almost like 'Waterburger'.

    • @baileybonesy
      @baileybonesy 2 года назад +4

      There's a whole mess of shit we proudly pronounce without regard to phonetics. Brazos = Braz•us, Manchaca = Man•shack, Bosque = Boss•key, Leakey = Lay•key , Guadalupe = Gwad•ah•loop, etc.

    • @Fatbeard24
      @Fatbeard24 2 года назад

      100% lol

    • @rustypotato9064
      @rustypotato9064 2 года назад +1

      @@baileybonesy refugio

    • @baileybonesy
      @baileybonesy 2 года назад

      @@rustypotato9064 That's a great one, where does the other "r" come from? Fuckin love it.

    • @shugrin8096
      @shugrin8096 2 года назад

      For real! Who cares how they pronounce it, it's wahtaburger all day every day.

  • @MooseTheLegend
    @MooseTheLegend 2 года назад +90

    It’s cute seeing Tom think a new set means he’ll get a word in.

    • @LTKK
      @LTKK 2 года назад +3

      😂😂

  • @Sw3rveDaddy
    @Sw3rveDaddy 2 года назад +6

    Huge fan guys been watching since day one!!!! I love the new studio and how much the product has grown. The one thing that I feel needs to change is in the previous studio whenever something hilarious happened you can hear muffle nadav cracking up. Now it’s a lot harder to hear and in my opinion it’s a great part of the show. Just a thought thanks guys can’t wait for new specials

  • @tr1pl3thr333
    @tr1pl3thr333 2 года назад +269

    If Bert doesn't want people thinking he cheats on his wife, he should probably stop openly fantasizing about cheating on his wife for weeks on end.

    • @stimpsonsutube
      @stimpsonsutube 2 года назад +10

      If he doesn’t get it out here it’ll surely become a reality

    • @ZeZeBatata69
      @ZeZeBatata69 2 года назад +11

      Bert is a dreamer, Leanne is a doer.

    • @joshpointoh
      @joshpointoh 2 года назад +1

      Who says he doesn't want people thinking that

    • @joshpointoh
      @joshpointoh 2 года назад +1

      @@DiceKrispy years

    • @RagnarLK
      @RagnarLK 2 года назад

      Who would get with bert first of all.... He's punching way up with Leeanne

  • @DubLectroLife
    @DubLectroLife 2 года назад +13

    Burt: starts talking about insightful things and happiness
    Tom: "Did you bring any weed?"

  • @jaxalvarez3412
    @jaxalvarez3412 2 года назад

    For the Whataburger debate. As someone who grew up in south Texas, you guys are both right. It is called What A Burger but when people in the south say it, it sounds like waterburger. It’s partially due to the accents and our tendency to say things fast. One of the best episodes, keep it up, love you guys

  • @dr.doppeldecker3832
    @dr.doppeldecker3832 2 года назад +20

    Bird's hoodie looks like a rectal prolapse

  • @josef2012
    @josef2012 2 года назад +43

    Oh boy,another chance to hear every single thought from Bart's puddin' head.

    • @addamaewalker7420
      @addamaewalker7420 2 года назад +1

      I am so over Barts constant stream of thought instead of actually doing it fucking podcast... why else is Tom there?

    • @verycoolguy5947
      @verycoolguy5947 2 года назад +3

      So why are you still here listening?

    • @verycoolguy5947
      @verycoolguy5947 2 года назад +3

      @@addamaewalker7420 So why are you still here listening?

    • @ViewedOak
      @ViewedOak 2 года назад +3

      @@verycoolguy5947 no critiques allowed, only listen and repeat funny phrase

    • @js6527
      @js6527 2 года назад +3

      The Nadav weight loss episode was nearly intolerable for me bc of Chryslers nonstop rambling

  • @StaceWah
    @StaceWah 2 года назад +1

    Tom's shocked reactions to Bart's random ridiculous comments are the best bits :'D

  • @evilhomer
    @evilhomer 2 года назад +50

    I'm sure it's been said before but if they ever make a live action Simpsons, Bert needs to be cast as Homer.

    • @chrisdoe3642
      @chrisdoe3642 2 года назад +2

      Ive said it, idk if id cast him but for now i will say his homerness is his appeal but also hes far more cringey then homer

    • @v8holdentiger
      @v8holdentiger 2 года назад +1

      Tom would be a better Homer. Bret as Barney...a more drunk version

  • @EvanEraTV
    @EvanEraTV 2 года назад +197

    As someone who has heard the “I Find Lost Things” story live on the drive-in tour.. that bit definitely needs to go in a special Bert. Been wondering when I would hear it again

    • @omarfouda6104
      @omarfouda6104 2 года назад +1

      agreed

    • @kylebeam4003
      @kylebeam4003 2 года назад +7

      Dude those were the worst shows of all time. And yes I went to one. That opener Dave… woof

    • @cameronfielder4955
      @cameronfielder4955 2 года назад +11

      @@kylebeam4003 Sounds like you are just a negative person.

    • @billgee406
      @billgee406 2 года назад +12

      @@kylebeam4003 you sound like someone who isn't allowed near dogs or playgrounds for the same reason.

    • @bobbybands1928
      @bobbybands1928 2 года назад

      I actually saw that bit live years ago at the comedy store and it didn’t do good w the crowd. Assuming he’s made it better over the past 3 years

  • @nuvourldorda6084
    @nuvourldorda6084 2 года назад +10

    New studio looks dope i wonder how long till berts side is filthy.

  • @savannah929
    @savannah929 2 года назад +121

    Yay another episode of Bert saying he wants to move to Austin and the classic game of who would Bert cheat on his wife with this week if he could? 😂

    • @GregParsons9276
      @GregParsons9276 2 года назад +5

      That’s what happens when they bank a half dozen episodes.

    • @hayley_g
      @hayley_g 2 года назад +1

      and also about his weight half the episode.

  • @chanandlerbong289
    @chanandlerbong289 2 года назад +22

    I “love” that no matter what part of the video you skip to, 99% of the time Brent is talking over Tom. Try it.

  • @IrishGary1
    @IrishGary1 2 года назад +1

    Bert's meme should be the one his dad told him "YOURE NOT GREAT...SHUT THE FUCK UP" 😂😂😂

  • @shlomoe9519
    @shlomoe9519 2 года назад +22

    I like how every episode is just creeping closer and closer to Berts divorce 😂😂😂

  • @Melchiah_Kain
    @Melchiah_Kain 2 года назад +88

    Bruce trying to figure out how to say whatabuger, tells tom “you’re talking over it”
    Tom literally didn’t say a word 😂😂😂

  • @mikeconnor4054
    @mikeconnor4054 2 года назад +3

    1:03:36 Enny "hot sauce is the best"

  • @earlymorningpodcast
    @earlymorningpodcast 2 года назад +136

    Surprised they invested in a studio with Bert’s recent dramatic decline in health

    • @dr.doppeldecker3832
      @dr.doppeldecker3832 2 года назад +4

      It's a gamble for sure^^

    • @Macandfam
      @Macandfam 2 года назад +1

      Is he more unhealthy than normal

    • @TheKnutification
      @TheKnutification 2 года назад +10

      @@Macandfam probably not, but he did look rough in this one

    • @emclovin6962
      @emclovin6962 2 года назад +9

      @@TheKnutification he look like tomato

    • @ShawnxEdge
      @ShawnxEdge 2 года назад

      The road will do that.

  • @kugatog2929
    @kugatog2929 2 года назад +74

    I miss the old setup... this is too professional.. bears need caves!

    • @MissBlueEyeliner
      @MissBlueEyeliner 2 года назад +9

      It’s more polar bear and less hairy bear 🙁

    • @tnntlmmn277
      @tnntlmmn277 2 года назад +2

      the set makes no sense

  • @GreatestEvver
    @GreatestEvver 2 года назад +4

    1:03:40 “hot sauce is the best” moment

  • @zechariahfay6531
    @zechariahfay6531 2 года назад +15

    This show has just turned into a showcase of Bert’s mind deteriorating

  • @scubaseppy
    @scubaseppy 2 года назад +8

    Bert will break Goggin's soul in 30 days.

  • @weazytv
    @weazytv 2 года назад

    LMFAO!!
    "It literally is that, what you're saying that it's not"

  • @jaredjackson3219
    @jaredjackson3219 2 года назад +6

    Bert is right with What-a-burger! its the inflection on the words that is different!

  • @wisedog53
    @wisedog53 2 года назад +18

    Being from Texas Bert is correctly pronouncing whataburger and Tom is saying how other states would say it.

  • @reyesadrian607
    @reyesadrian607 2 года назад +7

    Lol so I know everyone says this but damn you all are right, this show should be called 2 bears one mouth 🤣

  • @krisboyce77
    @krisboyce77 2 года назад +11

    I absolutely love hearing the guys in the background laughing their asses off. Adds another great dimension to an already great pod 😂

    • @TheKenBro
      @TheKenBro 2 года назад

      Yeah I think they have a laugh track button for that it's not always genuine and it repeats if you listen to it carefully..so Hollywood at times

    • @nicksharp8868
      @nicksharp8868 2 года назад

      @@TheKenBro idk about on here but you can always here Nadav and the booth laughing on Your Moms House when they say something funny

  • @williamillian5562
    @williamillian5562 2 года назад +10

    At one point bert was telling 4 stories at once bouncing between all of them. Now that is talent.

  • @mrbrett19
    @mrbrett19 2 года назад

    “Buddy it’s What-A-Burger” 😂😂😂 Tim summoning his inner Top Dawg! RIP Top Dawg!

  • @dannyp12076
    @dannyp12076 2 года назад +13

    it's amazing to me that Bert manages to maintain a single friendship.

    • @Cyxz666
      @Cyxz666 2 года назад +1

      That's why he pays everyone who has to be around him

  • @jjhancock1590
    @jjhancock1590 2 года назад +6

    You know this podcast is pretty funny when Tom gets included in

  • @adaption196
    @adaption196 2 года назад +2

    I swear when Tom gave the "Dude, you're not gonna get there" speech, that was definitely what he wants to say to people lmao

  • @DownriverRat
    @DownriverRat 2 года назад +58

    According to Brent, socialism is when people break babies’ noses when they are born. Honestly I thought him describing socialism would be more further off than that so I’m impressed!

    • @MrZeroBrains
      @MrZeroBrains 2 года назад +1

      Honestly, close enough

    • @Aztecsoviet
      @Aztecsoviet 2 года назад

      @@MrZeroBrains found brent

    • @anothertheory3610
      @anothertheory3610 2 года назад

      The Germ Theory was never actually proven to be 100% accurate, yet the trillion dollar medical industry is entirely based on that theory. What's the CAUSE of death in people with this "virus"? Does their brain explode? Does their heart stop beating? The CAUSE of death is still pneumonia. Pneumonia is not something you can "catch". You DEVELOP it, just like you develop cancer. It's a biological result of being "scared to death" of something. Think of it like an internal wound that you can't see, but when it starts to heal (when the traumatic event dissipates), the healing of the wounds in the lungs will cause pain, mucus, blood, fever, headaches, coughing, etc. The cause of death from Small Pox wasn't acne-like cysts. That's not enough to kill anyone. The cause of death was PNEUMONIA. A specific death fright soldiers and Indians felt due to them attacking each other during this traumatic period in time. These were the only people who had Small Pox. A vaccine only stopped the acne cysts from forming, which is basically a histamine response. Pneumonia still develops and cannot be stopped or vaccinated against. It's like trying to vaccinate your body to prevent it from healing a bruise or a cut. You don't show the symptoms of "disease" until you stop being panicked and afraid. These symptoms usually show up 1-2 weeks after you've relaxed and resolved the upsetting event.

      Governments around the world are CAUSING fear frights, thus CAUSING all the illnesses, aka Boogey Virus, in everyone based on an unproven THEORY by one man, Louis Pasteur, who redacted his claim of the germ theory on his death bed, yet no one listened. The US is following an outdated theory that's 100 years old and has not questioned or retested that "science" since then. They believed In witches and curses back then!! Could it be because a Ca-Zillion dollar medical industry profits on following an outdated "science" model?! They've been using the same cancer "treatment" for 80 YEARS. They can't think of something besides POISON in all this time?!?!

      So of course, when everyone is allowed to escape the hostage situation the governments have put their people into, and they start relaxing about the "scary virus" that's not in any way transmissible, they will begin their healing phase (get sick), and believe they then have the "scary virus", and more panic will ensue as well as martial law. The longer people allow this government to hold them hostage in their homes, the more severe the "sickness" will be. Western Medicine is pure fraud, and people's lives are destroyed because of it.

    • @nickkerr5714
      @nickkerr5714 2 года назад

      Its low key a great way to sum it up

  • @oceanresq
    @oceanresq 2 года назад +29

    Barts face is looking ROUGH. I give it two more episodes before his head turns into a strawberry.

  • @kenbillingsley9239
    @kenbillingsley9239 2 года назад +2

    Great new eppie boys! I was really pulling for Bert on the WATTAburger argument lol.

  • @javieraceves2252
    @javieraceves2252 2 года назад +23

    Making the studio white was a mistake. There’s going to be a huge brown spot on Bret’s side soon.