THIS is why we cry
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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Key Points
00:00 - The reason we cry
00:22 - When we cry
02:19 - When other people cry
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My 17 year old dog died this week and I cried my guts out. And though some of the tears were due to loss, and the difficulty of the final goodbye; I would say the main reason for crying was because of the overwhelming deep gratitude I had for all the joy, love and acceptance he had given me. Safe travels Bailey, I love you. 🐾🌈💖✨🕊️
💜Baily🐾🌈💜
Plushcat143✨️🫶✨️🙏
Aaaww 🌹Im so sorry for your loss💔 😔
784
I love that tears can so much of any emotion. This is wholesome.
I’m sorry for your loss 💕🐶🌈💕
“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about “ I heard that a lot growing up that’s why I feel so ashamed of myself when crying 😢 over small things
Me too! I have learned how to let myself cry. That little girl inside of me wasn't treated well and the way I can heal her is to comfort her when she cries. I know it sounds corny but it works!
Same😢
Me too
Me too 😢
Me also.
I’m 29 and CRY all the time. People shame me for it, even my mom but I will not suppress how my body naturally reacts to stress
Never could stop the tears. Father raged until I cried, then screamed more when I did - accusing me of "turning on the waterworks" to manipulate him... which had the opposite effect. So the insanity of the accusation was maddening. I'm in my 60s, I still cry reflexively when I'm tired, sick, frustrated, angry, and sometimes sad. Spouse knows to tell me a joke, distract me, give me place to breathe and reorient.
I'm in my 60s and I have not been able to cry in six years and I'm in pain. I wish I could cry.
And I wish I could stop. We seem to share the same issue from opposite ends. Hugs.
@@Lyrielonwind
You're not crazy, but society is crazy for squashing people!
"You don't need to apologise for a natural human response" felt so good. ❤
(Having a bad CPTSD day today, and have to just allow the crying to happen without feeling shame.)
I try to remember that emotions and their natural expressions (respectful of others and property and self) are morally neutral. While based on our identity and history, they aren't something that most of us are always consciously choosing. Our emotions give us valuable information about our interactions with the world and others. It can be very difficult to create some space between an initial feeling and a correlated shame spiral. It is possible, though. Even the teeniest bit of space, gained with a bit of practice or prep work, for me, meant the difference of losing multiple days trying to work myself out of the pit, or giving myself permission to be a full human being, messy emotions and all.
🫂
❤❤❤
thank you so much for these words. @@PaigeSquared
i am really struggling with my CPTSD, it’s so confusing, and this channel has been helping
My sister started crying on the phone this morning and I told her not to stop until she was ready. Crying turns our emotions into water (tears).
Emotions tell us messages. We must listen.
Crying sort of washes them away by the cleansing cathartic release of those emotions.
I allow myself to cry, but I see we are not educated when someone else cries. Great info, thank you.
Because of these videos, I've finally given permission to myself to cry. I also apologized to my children for telling them not to cry. This literally happened this morning and brought a lot of healing tears. That you posted this video today lets me know I'm on the right track. Thank you so much!
💜💜💜 So proud of you! Your doing an amazing service not only to yourself but to your children 🙏
Crying helps me to release stuck energy! 🥰
It's not always a flight or fight thing. I often cry when I'm overwhelmed by awe, or awesomeness.
That's happened maybe 3 times to me, and I think it's the most wonderful thing to look forward to in life!
I cry a lot. A lifetimes worth of tears finally finding release!
4:39 4:39 I had to learn how to cry because I thought if I did the tears of anger, grief and hurt would never stop. The message from my family was we have no time for your fear or pain. Society or life was mean and cruel, the message was nobody cares about your feelings. I had to find a way out of the internalized numbness and disregard for my feelings. It's not easy to learn how to cry but it can be done. When I cry every tear is a reminder that I do matter. That my hopes and dreams matter and that in the end my boundaries matter.
This is a game changer. I thought I was crying because i couldn’t release the pain, but I’m releasing it BY crying.
❤
Crying helps me realize what s essential and what's not...
I go through periods where I need to cry and am too stressed to let it out, because we live in a " be perfect or go away" world. I get abandoned by my family for having any problems so I talk to a few people for support. Cats are helpful to, to a large degree.
I hate it when people say "don't cry." Or "STOP CRYING!"
Crying releases tension in the body
My problem is that I can't cry. I know I'm hurt and have been hurt for pretty much the entirety of my life through my childhood trauma and my marriage. I can't cry for myself. I have few problems crying when I feel touched by someone or some thing, but the ability to cry for me is missing. I know I'm hurt, I know I'm sad, I know I would NEVER have chosen the life that was forced upon me, but I can squeeze out a couple tears and then my body tells me I'm done.
This has been one of the hardest parts I've encountered in my healing process. I've learned just how deep and compressed my emotions are, and trying to tease them out and feel safe letting them go has been so incredibly difficult. One day I'll get there.
Thanks, Nicole.
Until about a week ago I went over 12 months without crying. I felt the need to cry - especially at a family members funeral - but just couldn't let the tears flow. They were blocked.
Then I realised that my not crying had coincided with commencing a low dose antidepressant over 12 months earlier, along with a subconscious fear of crying from childhood messaging. So I tapered off the antidepressant over several weeks & last week the damn broke. It felt SO good. Now tears are welling often & appropriately, & I realise there must me a lot of unexpressed grief/trauma stuck in my body from the past 12 months of stuckness.
Not suggesting this is the solution for everyone at all, but it seems I am super sensitive to antidepressants & they do have a profound affect on me - esp when it comes to crying.
Early weeks into Lexapro did that to me. I felt the emptiness and pain, but couldnt shed a tear. So odd to me. Because I am annoyingly a very easy cryer.
I cry all the time and wondered if there was something wrong with me. Thank you for this video. It makes so much sense especially the part about relegating your body after you cry.
Yes. Interesting how She said we will cry if we are overwhelmed... I think that is my situation because so many times I will not know exactly why i'm crying!!!!
@@ASMRGRATITUDE Same. It's like we're taught there must always be a reason for why we do things. What if we just thought: I'm crying because my body has asked me to....
My mom, who was brought up by a woman who suffered from BPD, will never show her tears to anyone. She will hide in shame to cry.
Breaks my heart.
On a funny note.. in the movie Bedazzled, Brendan Frazer said: I never wipe my tears away. I'm not ashamed of them. I wear them proudly like small wet salty badges of emotional truth
Excellent explanation of how crying re-regulates the emotional system and how to be around someone who's crying. Thank you.
While in a deep, dark, downward spiral, i cried so hard and fiercely, i pulled a muscle in my upper abdomen.
Those tears only reinforced my "drowning in darkness ."
After being committed to a psychiatric ward, and being put on a different antidepressant, did i feel better.
Now, when i cry, the tears are full of healing.
As a child I have been told not to cry or have gotten in trouble for crying…so now as an adult, I struggle to cry even when it would help me because that little child inside me is terrified of the consequences.
Thank you. Through Depressionen I experienced 4 month crying everyday for no reason. 😢
I cry by myself or with my pets, but I do try to avoid crying around other people due to being told almost every time...."don't cry". Crying tends to make other people uncomfortable. If I do wind up crying around others, I tend to try to tone it down. When I'm doing healing work while walking on the mountain.... Well, I hope I'm not scaring the wildlife too badly.
Crying is awesome. I cry when happy, sad, whatever. I have days where I'll just be like "guess today's my day to have a lot of good cries". It's wonderful to be someone who's in touch with my feelings and doesn't see them as "something going wrong" - I hope more people find peace with their emotions and realize they are just as normal as feeling a slight chill on a cool day, feeling warmth... it's all just sensations, feelings, it's normal human stuff.
I also cry all the time, when I’m happy or simply when I’m feeling alot of empathy for someone else. That “crybaby” stigma still lies inside me but I have a lot more grace for it now at 47 years old.
The talk we've all needed since the beginning of time. Especially for men.
My dad used to terrorize me til I cried, then he’d berate and ridicule me for crying. I developed such rigid self control, I got to where I could stop it. In doing so, I thwarted his fun. I can still turn it off/stop it from happening.
I cry, but in private.
Hurts my heart when others cry - I want to take their pain away. I just sit with them, hug if they need that. Listen, validate their pain, support them best I can. If I cant help, at minimum try not add to their pain.
I am totally fine with people / friends crying around me. Doesn't stress me out, I'm calm and let them feel the emotion. I just hate when I cry in front of other people so I avoid it 99%.
I love a good cry 😅 I’m a holistic therapist so all my clients cry I just sit with there feels I don’t stop them I like that they feel safe to leave it out with me
you are a great therapist! ❤
I’m crying right now as my notification for this video came through.
Was always told to stop crying and be quiet. Always told I’d be given something to really cry about. It was so painful but now as an adult I’m very careful with my words when other people are showing emotion or opening up to me. I’m still learning how not to apologise for my tears but it is slowly becoming easier
This is so helpful. Unfortunately when I was going through a tough time last year, I cried at work, and my boss was not happy about it. In fact, she decided I wasn't good for the job just because I showed some emotion.
Crying deeply now. I have so much stored emotional pain. Crying is part of feeling & releasing it. It's relief. I'm in solitude these days. So I can cry freely. Pain is resistance. So much in my heart and solar plexus chakras being released. It especially is such a relief and release, since most of my life I couldn't cry at all. All my pain was deeply encased in my impenetrable fortress of resistance. It was always unsafe for me to show any emotion. I feel so broken, immobilized by pain.
I cry because. I'm broken
Saying I Love You & a Big Hug works wonders! When you are hurt, angry or upset the body tenses up! A good cry helps release that tension! I cry at romantic movies just because that's me!!❤❤
I often think that there’s no one else in the world who has cried more than me 😢Thankfully I’ve never felt embarrassed about crying in front of people. Thanks for this 🙏
Good for you. This emotion shouldn't be uncomfortable to others. Anger can be respected in certain situations, as should crying.
I remember getting upset when my kids got hurt and cry. Because I don’t want them hurt.
It’s crazy.
Thank you sooo much. I was so confused about crying. Due to my upbringing it is very difficult for me to cry alone or with others. I now know why and how to let it just happen. Thanks again.
Was crying today with joy. I cry in the middle of arguements. When I can not and am not crying from emotional circumstances I know I am dysregulated. Was truly just thinking today about when and how I cry in nearly all high emotion situations. Thank you infinitely for all the knowledge you are sharing with others.
This lady REALLY speaks to me. She's helped me see ME.
Once I was in my office at work and was crying and a coworker walked in and acted like I was doing something weird. I quickly recovered myself but did not apologize.
Very interesting that I am watching this.A few hours ago I felt overwhelmed by the actions of a friend towards me.I had tried to ignore but I got to a moment where I felt like I was going to burst.I chose to take a cold shower and while there,I broke into a good cry.i actually wailed for a long time.after this episode,my body calmed down...not completely but to some point.
I felt much relief. I have been thinking of this incident since then,wondering what really happened. Thank you so much for sharing this.its really helpful.
Recently I have experience cycles of negativity that are impacting greatly on my emotional wellbeing.
Crying relieves the pent up feelings I feel ... Joy ... Sad ... Etc.
I love the advice on what to do when others cry. I don't cry; nothing really to cry about. But occasionally tears well up in some emotions.Thank you Dr LePera. Love you!
I feel like I'm half man, and half woman, even though I'm "anatomically" a male, the woman inside me is deeply emotional and INFP, I think it's INFP. In our society, there's so much pressure to align with gender roles that, I don't think are 1) clearly defined 2) what a growing number of people really even care to emulate. I grew up rebelling! I once wore a dress to school (high school) to prove this point. I remember, some younger "jocks" laughing at me in the locker room, and I was....like proud of myself. I felt so powerful!
I feel like I cry more than any other traumatic emotion. Even if Im angry, Im crying. Sure, it feels good. But sometimes it's just exhausting. Especially in times of bad events happening consistently. The thing I wish I had just a healthy level of is anger. Just enough to stand up for myself or take some action. Ive been conditioned to cry to help cushion any more violence or anger....
I wish I could cry… I’d probably feel so much better. For some reason, I won’t even let myself cry, even when I’m alone.
Ah thanks for this, I always notice when I cry I feel more grounded and it calms my whole system down. Thanks for the explanation 💜
If I allowed myself to cry, I don't think I would stop.
For a long while I wasn’t able to cry. Then when I was finally able to I was crying with happiness and joy of being able to cry properly again and release all the burdens and emotions that needed releasing. Now when it comes I just welcome the tears and sit with them, let them come and and even enjoy the moments when I’m able to cry in peace.
Thank you for this video and the insight of what to do when someone else is crying. The fixer impulse comes on strong.
❤❤
I'm healing from cptsd and your videos have been enlightening! I am Auntie to two 15 year old girls, both coming from difficult homes. I fully intend on asking them IF & HOW I can incorporate gentle reassuring touch when supporting their intense emotions. I've always struggled with the "touch" aspect, as I was starving for that kind of attention as a child. Thanks for helping me change that! As it is, my kiddos know that they have a safe space here. 🥰
My brother says he hasn't cried since he was a young boy. He's over 70 now. Could you make a video about the long term consequences for people who don't cry, ever?
I wish I could cry. I haven't been able to cry in six years. My eyes get wet with a few tears, that's all and I'm not holding my tears.
I feel good after I cry but I rarely cry even though I want to. I think it has something to do with feeling so responsible for others and myself.
OMG thank you so much for this great explanation about why we cry and what it really means when we do. I always tell ppl who feel embarrassed if they suddenly start to cry in front of me..."that's why you were were made with tear ducts"...when we cry in sadness we release stress hormones...hense the calm (with the oxytocin).
I haven’t cried in 15 years. Idk why I can’t let go.
Grateful for all your work! This should be taught in EVERY ELEMENTARY CLASSROOM! ❤
I’m crying as I watch this.
I hate crying. I don't "feel good" when I cry. My nasal passages swell up and I can't breathe through my nose for a while. It's uncomfortable. I feel weak. I apologize for crying because I worry about the OTHER person feeling uncomfortable.
I resist crying. Growing up, I was shamed for crying. "You'd better shut it up! I'll give you something to cry about!" This was said to me after I was repeatedly hit so hard I could feel the reverberation through my face.
I really needed to hear this after crying at work today. Thank you.
Thank you for this video❤ It helps me feel less ashamed of my tears and it gave me insight of when I feel the urge to cry and what to do. I fear bawling my eyes out in front of one or many people. I see the looks on their faces when I cry, regardless of location or company, and I personalize way too much, more than I'd like to admit(lot of shame for how I feel and what I think in general, even who I am). I often feel like a burden or just too much, and sometimes I can be overwhelming for other people.
With other people: in the past I was a fixer and I still have that urge to fix and "make the bad feel go away" or to over analyze and sometimes fall into the pithole of being an Unwanted Advisor.
While on the other hand I feel the urge to just be with them, while they are sitting with going through the emotion. I want to do that more, just let it be;
I *wish* I could cry but most of the time I can't. I know it feels so good but my body just won't let me, I think it's because my body doesn't feel safe enough to. I was one of those that heard "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
Can you do a video on why we Don’t cry? I never cry. I’m worried about that.
I need to cry weekly or so or I end up with a huge sinus headache. Crying always feels healing. My hubby doesn't understand. I do though. ❤️
@ Im a 50 year old grown man. And I cry alot here lately.
@ I hide most of it too.
thank you for your videosss ❤
thank you so much for explaining
Super Informative video. thank you ❤
Amazing! The most useful video I've watched in quite some time. Thank you. ❤❤
Brilliantly executed video
Thank you for more permissions for myself 🙏🥰🙏greatly helpful ❤❤❤
i love this topic!!!
I can’t cry….
How much is too much crying? And what about “I don’t know why I’m crying but I need it”?
I wish i could make myself cry to release stress and tension.
Thank you!!
I ❤ your videos. Thank you.
Thank you.
Why do people cry for happiness, in empathy, and from experiencing something beautiful?
Crying is simply a form of your body experiencing overwhelming amount of emotion. Usually being really sad will trigger this easy, but others cry when laughing too hard or in times of major relief and good news. And empathy is simply the most human emotion.
I often cry when I see or hear something beautiful -- such as dance or opera, at parts of films i find beautifully directed. Just wondering why this makes me cry. Some things are just too beautiful to me, even some poetry will bring tears to my eyes.@@jessicabecause3717
Most of the time I feel helpless when I see someone cry. But still I am often too afraid to caress them or something. I don’t know why I think that but in that moment I tell myself they don’t want that anyway and that its cringe. But I‘ll think of this video when Im in that Situation. I also had an ex that got even upset by me crying and that is total shit.
I hate crying so easily.
I just had a big cry and then opened you tube and seen this lol 😂
Wish I knew this years ago. 😮
True this. ❤.
Can you do a video on long term emotional suppression? Does being told not to cry and trying to avoid the discomfort of others around you lead to not being able to cry? Does physical health suffer when you don't cry? What to do when you can't cry? How to get there? Please and thank you..🙏🏻💞💞💞
How do you feel about crying in the workplace? And do you feel current workplace norms in regards to crying and emotions are healthy for us?
I can allow myself to cry.
But I feel uncomfortable being present with others when they need to cry. I need to work on that.
I love you ❤
I think it is such an important topic, thank u very much for bringing awareness to it 🙏
There is a question I have that didn't get answered.
What can we do if the people we are close with don't deal with it in a healthy way when we are crying?
I cry a lot when we are arguing at home or when something is not going well (I have health issues and it's not easy to deal with it at all). In most cases my bf is getting nervous or annoyed and starts talking loudly with me and is overwhelming me or ignoring it when I am crying and it hurts a lot.
I grew up being treated like this and in the past I wasn't able to deal with these situations.
Sounds like you are getting re-traumatized every time you are in a situation like you described. (I experienced that myself and still do). You could show him this video (not i a fight, but in a peaceful moment) and tell him you need his help: you need him to don't take it personally when you cry; you crying is about processing your emotions and him getting nervous is his own emotionareaction and has to do with his own stuff whatever it may be. I hope it works. It takes work from both partners to take responsibility for his/her own feelings.
(I experienced same thing in my family as a teenager, I still struggle with allowing myself to cry. And it is hard work to learn to stay calm when somebody else cries, because that can be a trigger for me, too. Learning about psycology helps and to become aware and to do bodywork like breathing or meditation, or whatever is truly helping you does the job!). Helaing takes time but empowers oneself as well. - All the best!
@@alexasophieridderstrom2631 thank you for your comment. It helped me a lot to understand what is going on. I think you are right.
And I agree absolutely, healing takes time.
I am happy to see how far you have come, it is really nice to see how clear you are about what's going on inside yourself and what you want to do better, too 😊👍🏼👍🏼
Thank you very much for sharing! 🙏
@@dea9381 Thank you for your response that is so sweet. I am happy if I could help by sharing my experience. And you helped me by sharing yours. It makes oneself feel less lonely when it comes to processing difficult things in life. Hope everything works out for you. Thank you! 💎
✅ good video
As you say: Crying is a way to soothe our nervous system when it's overstimulated and in fight or flight mode. But the nervous system can also enter freeze mode; would crying also be beneficial in that state, or would it simply reinforce the freeze state?
I always tell my kids its ok to cry but i cant give you things because you cried.
i cri;-;
I can’t cry easily. It feels like I have numbed myself as defense mechanism. How do I fixed that?
Men always do the "ill fix it thing"; as a man, i welcome this info to STOP doing that, and just hum and hug
I'm 51 and in a newer relationship, and when we hug or sit peacefully, I find tears coming out of my eyes. I think I feel safe and loved (finally).
This person is someone I've known since high school (30+ yrs), and he isn't my normal "type." I'm a firm believer when we go beyond our type, and it feels "uncomfortable," this is breaking free of our patterns. ❤
While I am overall in agreement with your message - I think it is very important to not end up in a purely biological explanation for emotional display. We do cry because we are sad, but sadness is another side of the same coin: In one way or another our core is affecte, and that is something much more than simply "an overstimulated nervous system".. If someone told me growing up that my tears are just due to an overstimulated nervous system I, my self, would be reduced to atoms. It is kind of invalidating to me, while I of course understand it's intention is the opposite.