You don’t HATE people-You’re just with the wrong crowd
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
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Spot on, as you often are. Two years ago I was mentally and emotionally drained, isolated, sick of everything in my life, living in a progressive mountain town that had gotten WAY worse over the 15 years I'd been there. I blew it all up and walked away from it all. Moved 1500 miles to a small town in the American midwest, found a place where basic common sense is still common. Everything in my mental life improved, my relationship dramatically improved (partially because of us as individuals, partially because we weren't surrounded by stupidity), and we got married. It took a while, but I feel healthy again. Turns out I love being social. I just can't surround myself with poisonous people for years and expect to feel whole. We all need good people in our lives, no one is built to be an island. Sometimes our comfort zone is actively detrimental... don't be afraid to break that box wide open if need be.
"Sometimes our comfort zone is actively detrimental" ... This can be very true. Well put.
Solitary Mission, Long time!! Congrats on marriage!! Funny but I had visited your channel last week to see if you had posted anything. Glad things are going well!!! Take good care! 😃
@@NorthernBell4612 Thanks Peg! Hope you're doing well. Haven't been around much, too much happening in my non-digital world...
@@huMANs_channel Thanks for helping show me the way, this last half-decade. I appreciate you.
Why were you in Boone? 😂
Most people don't know how to actually have a conversation. Many people just talk talk talk talk and talk and expect you to listen.
Yep. And when you do get a pause to say something, they’re not listening and quite often interrupt you. This happens so much that I just don’t engage much anymore.
Agree 100%. It’s about peace and comfort, not isolation. I crave connection - but if I can’t find honest, meaningful interaction with like-minded, supportive people then the next best option is to seek it out on my own.
I think the best option is to enjoy your own company first, THEN the next best option is another person... The irony is, until you like your own company, another probably won't like it either (and you're probably not going to show it to another BECAUSE you haven't had practice showing it to yourself first).
Good point, I should have emphasised that 'craving' connection shouldn't come from desperation or a need to solve an emptiness.
The vid thumbnail is very good, btw
@@TDog0412 - Thanks, TDog... i enjoyed making the thumbnail. (Dusted off the old drawing tablet)
Sometimes people's expectations of you are vastly greater than what they offer you.
Oh for sure!... Story of my life :)
Not antisocial but socially selective.
Exactly.
facts💯
Alot of people don't care about the substance of conversation alot of people are mentally stuck in high school. So yeah, my quantity of friends are very low.
As is mine.
26 years old. I’ve never found my crowd.
It recently occured to me that people only talk to me when they want something. Nobody actually cares about how I am etc., they put on a performance too, expecting me to not notice (BTW who are we fooling when we do this? It's insulting to one another's intelligence).
Most people only want to take, take, take and then I can't wait to be back in my room alone. Maybe there is a "right crowd" for me but I'm not going to hold my breath until I find that.
It's always best to like your own company and words first... and THEN when you interact with others, you'll notice if they're "SPEAKING YOUR LANGUAGE" - but they won't if you haven't speaking to yourself first.
So true!
Whenever someone seems friendly to me right away, I get suspicious. Usually turns out they’re Sales or Marketing people.
I’m learning to accept and embrace my introversion.
Can relate to this. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. I've left my last two jobs not because of the work, but not being able to cope with with many of my fellow workers. After two years of travelling and spending much time in my own space it is time to go back to work, money is a curse to the loner who doesn't have much. Not looking forward to it at all.
resonates, much appreciated. 😉💯
yes. That's probably true. thank you.
I'm an individual investor, so I LOVE research and business....
Most of the people I know well are white and blue collar workers, and small business owners that do project for me.
These groups have a lot of social rules and very rigid dress and behavior.
I don't have any of that. It is exhausting to be around them. The most surprising thing is most people hate money. They like to talk about what they buy, but they hate earning it...
I think you're right. You have to be around people with similar goals, values, mindset
Nothing worse than being alone, in a room full of others, or with the significant other.
What? Why? Why would you choose an SO, you would not be comfortable sitting and talking with?
@ I do not anymore, but in a man’s youth you are forced to at times, be it from guilt or loyalty.
You just summerized my life.. spot on.. thanks 👋
You’re welcome. Glad you liked it.
As an older American: People are generally more transactional in social interactions than they were 40 years ago. They want value for their time, I want a conversation. I'm not interested in making value for other people any longer, and as a result people find me uninteresting now, and go after people that might provide them with goods and services.
Ive always said that if u cant get them high, make them rich, or give them an orgasm then people dont want u around…
Another thing that leads me to leave people alone and be alone is that lots of liberals always somehow bring up something political, they are loud and proud, and if you say anything that they dont agree with you become the bad guy. But overall I am always surrounded by none compatible people so I just do my own thing now. I can be very social. I dont have fomo anymore so I am a lot happier to keep my energy and peace. As you get older you dont really meet new people that can turn into friends.
@@SageHeru the great black hole of identity politics.
While I agree with you and came to the same conclusion. I'm not sure there is functionally any difference between "I am a introvert with the exception of a couple of people" and "I'm extroverted with a select few, but others drain me".
I don't mind talking to people. Sometimes I just can't seem to get anything out of them. With my friends and some new people I meet, we form a fun connection and I like finding a point of common ground with people especially by making each other laugh.
Some people though it just isn't there or we failed to latch on to each other. It happens. but I always do like the rush of getting to know people. It's like enjoying a new book. :)
If their love isn't deeper than my status or pockets, and robs me of my peace without offering an alternative - give me solitude. My social withdrawal, counterintuitively, stems from a need for more meaningful engagement. (I haven't heard from anyone since Coughid, but I have infinitely more fascinating conversations with the voices in my head.)
This is quite refreshing huMAN, will this be a Sunday stream topic. Id be keen to expand and discuss this one.
That was my thinking too :)
@huMANs_channel glad we are of the same mind. 🙂
spot on. life is a prove that people are born different, from looks and from almost everything, some things unite us and some things divide us yet what divide us shall mean be interpreted as hate or evil, it is just normal. so it's normal to hangout most of the time with those you like and those that your people, no need force one another to "pretend" as it just drains one and the other is never satisfied on the long term even if they fake it
I find other people always want to meddle in my affairs. Meeting people that dont do that is near impossible.
Their meddling makes me seek solitude.
Oh, tell me about it... I get it from (old) friends and family. Funny how new friends aren't that way, eh?
…it’s the stupidity that makes me flee social interactions and want to be ALONE: Golden!!!… aaaahhhh!!!….
This is called being a Sigma Male
Most people simply view others as an opportunity to talk at something.
ha!.... yes. I observe this often when people respond to something I've just said by continuing their last sentence, or latching onto (only) a word I just said, and not to the context in which I said it... Most just want to do the real-life equivalent of posting in the comments :)
But where is the right crowd? For me it seems that everything wrong is so mainstream, so popular, so accepted. And almost everything I value seems either boring or restrictive, or even preachy.
Well, that's a great filter for people that aren't for you isn't it?... A lot of chicks didn't like that i'd think too much, or talk from various philosophical angles. Fine, then i know we're not for each other... Remember - ALL YOU NEED IS ONE GOOD FRIEND, or ONE GOOD WOMAN... Getting to them is a question of time. Maybe one or the other will NEVER happen, but if you like your life and self, then who cares. Better than hating yourself or your life with childish partner.
Thx for pointing this out.
Tooooooo true!!!!
For me. I find humans untrustworthy. Everyone has an angle, a hustle.
I just wonder everytime I meet someone I always wonder what they want from me.?
Most people like us by how we can serve them in some way (unfortunately). Whether they realise it or not... and while there is always some kind of transaction going on between people, one needs to make sure we're not being led or used in ways that make the relationship feel one-sided.
The question I have is am I going to grow with the stock that is around me. From what I understand I would say many of us are selective social. Granted dealing with people can be draining choas and drama. At 52 I still find it incredible the level of immaturity in the 40 plus community. I am not going to engage in BS or facade. My philosophy is be my raw self respectful and neutral for the most part. I know most people wont like my directness especially in Australia. I accept it and move on. Yes environment can play a big factor. Finally dont pretend to be something you are not to fit into madness to not be alone. That is actually madness.
"...dont pretend to be something you are not to fit into madness to not be alone. That is actually madness." - - That's a good line, Melenico 👍
@@huMANs_channel Thanks human..
I like being alone but I'm not fond of proudly proclaiming to enjoy being alone while living an unfulfilled life. If you don't cultivate any person skills or personal relationships is that really an enjoyable life worth living? Make use of what time you have otherwise you'll be alone with regret.
How do u cultivate into a sterile petri dish???
I've always thought, "Well, I have to enjoy my own company because I'm always around myself and my thoughts", but i cringe when i hear these 'LONE WOLF' platitudes that make it sound like being alone is the OPTIMAL state of a good man. No... Being self-aware, decent and proud of yourself will filter out the bad people in the long-term.
If one has no idea what a compatible friend looks like, then the world is full of narcissists that'll use you as a doormat.
@ Your comment "No... Being self-aware, decent and proud of yourself will filter out the bad people in the long-term." This is what I strive to do.
Life is mostly froth and bubble, two things stand alone, kindness in in others trouble and courage in your own ...
Anon. Brighton.
Birds of a feather, vett them with escape strategies. Alone is great, with trade now and again.
i dont know man. what is the right crowd cos to be honest i havent seen the right crowd.
Finding your type of person/people isn't easy.
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