I am convinced that unless the planet was caught as collateral damage in some mass disaster, Catachan may well be the last planet in the imperium to fall to its enemies… If only because nobody in their right mind would DARE attack the planet unless either death wishes are involved, the attacking party is woefully overconfident and underwhelmed with the planets dread reputation, or they managed to accumulate a crusade enough that would be able to casually topple terra overnight anyway.
@@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire "In the 60th millenia, the galaxy has grown cold, the armies of forces unknowable walk the galaxy, the horrors crush the minds of any who yet still live... Except on Catachan, because Catachan ate everyone who showed up and the Catachan inhabitants are too thick headed to be broken by eldritch abominations."
*teenager finished peeing on someone's lawn* "Hey, get off my property!" "What are you gonna do about it?" "I'm gonna move you *the fuck* down." "Oh yeah? With what?" *lawnmower going 300 mph on a teenager* "OOAAAAOA-"
I loved reading that bit in catachan Lore, where the catachans had to deploy their full force of 60 million off world. Basically they left their homeworld completely defenseless. When they finished their campaign and came back home, they found a mountain of dead world eaters,and the planet was fine
@@dennislemasters4339yeah lets be honest, you probably have a better chance of surviving with an entire hive fleet of nids than you do being plopped down on that dammed rock
This is a actual paragraph from the Warhammer Wiki page for Catachan "After the formation of the Great Rift following the fall of Cadia in 999.M41, Catachan was caught within the malignant Warp rift and exposed to a massive daemonic invasion. However when Roboute Guilliman's Indomitus Crusade arrived at Catachan, its Astartes found that the local Catachan regiments had already dealt with the threat on their own."
Catachan’s scratching their head confused. “Gonna be honest, we never saw em. Like we saw the ships appear in orbit, but their men never made it out of the forest after making planet fall.”
@@khairallahdh "Well, one pack of dropships landed in the 'pede swamp. No need to worry about them." (Catachan Burrowing Centipedes are apparently a thing in-lore... I am just assuming it's like the one in Mechwarrior Online that can eat a Battlemech as they are apparently an Apex Predator of the planet...)
@@theghostinthemachine think in lore the apex predator is the catachan devil. A giant centipede the size of a train and just as long. Definitely able to bring down a Knight, maaaybe a war hound titan if it managed to get close before the war hound hammered it with its ranged weaponry. Can’t pilot titans on catachan though, forest is too big.
@@khairallahdh a Knight is about the right size, and yeah that's what I was thinking of. A centipede the size of a freight train that tears through 'Mech scale armor, and has fangs larger then the bodies of most infantry. I just remembered they burrow, and are giant centipedes. Makes sense- Centipedes are great diggers in swampy, damp terrain... Also great for their rush-down attacks.
@@Noorthia The proximity of Cadia to the eye of terror, so basically all their people are affected by the warp albeit in the benign way, which shows in their eyes being purple.
When even daemons think twice before attempting to invade the planet, you know it's one helluva deathtrap. And somehow the Catachan people are living on it, AND making it work!
I love how when Chaos invaded it went damn near exactly like the meme. The Catachans didn’t have to do anything, the psycho wildlife killed all the daemons and everything else
They did lift a finger, they to were to busy surviving, when they saw a 50 foot tall daemon they were just like "OMFE I thought it was the frog, man this will be so much easier"
Guilliman rolls up. “We’re here to save you from the daemons and heretics” Is confused as the catachans aren’t sure what he’s referring too. “I mean some ships showed up in orbit for a minute but they left soon after. Never saw the blokes they landed on the planet though.”
If I remember correctly one time they literally all left the planet one time and returned to find that despite being undefended the natural wildlife had apparently entirely game ended a world eater invasion
@@mapleflag6518dude, as an imperial guard fan, I can tell you it was VERY accurate. The Cadians made a good account of themselves but they were by no means invincible. They fight and killed swathes of Chaos forces as they were in turn slaughtered en masse themselves due to the simply nature of the fighting. I think that was represented very well in the video, with both sides killing plenty of the other.
The boys stationed there were too busy fighting the more immediate threat of the local wildlife. A far more pressing concern then an invasion by the forces of hell
For ten thousand years mankind could not kill Catachan. They just survive it. Catachan humans burn back the jungle with flamers and heavy flamers daily because it will overgrow their settlements, block sunlight, choke, poison, melt, and burn them. I swear it’s gotta be part tyranid.
when a cadian tells you to step off his property, it's a threat when a catachan tells you to step off his property, he's warning you because he's concerned for your wellbeing if you stay
@@Sujad Looking at Slannesh, The Drukhari, and whatever the hell the fetish gear the Custodes are wearing (Though I am being told they only wore in Rouge Trader) I'd say the degeneracy is canon. I mean have you even read Inquisitor? It's the First 40k Novel and is full of smut.
Abaddon: Alright, fire! [Virus Bombs Catachan] Catachan: [Inhales, exhales] Ooh, yeah, send more of that down. That shit clears the pores. Narrator: The Forces of Chaos then retreated to the Eye of Terror, never to be seen again.
Abaddon: *Extermiantus the planet! Prepare the stolen Cyclonic torpedoes!* (10 minutes later, the cyclonic torpedoes just made the planet the perfect greenhouse+terrarium for the wildlife and fauna there... making them flourish even more) Abaddon: (why are we here... just to suffer?)
Chaos meeting the next day. Tzeentch: So this Abby guy just screwed over my plans... Good job... Khorne: Uh... I mean that was kinda fun... No I'm not sulking... Slaanesh: This is like the worst edging... Nurgle: I'm out of ideas... Those plants only commented my disease as barely spicy...
Chadachan casually one-shots one of the things currently ripping Traitor Marines into bite-sized pieces a few meters away. And then probably eats it as the Catachan equivalent of popcorn while continuing to point and laugh at the heretics.
Cadia: "Chaos virgins took 13 tries and they cheated too!" Catachan: "Aussie Planet with more vegatables. Except Vegatables eat you instead. Not even Khrone forces enjoy green hell."
The funniest part is that is canon that after the fall of cadia chaos did a full ass invation on catachan But the demons, chaos marines and cultist didnt stop getting hunted by the local wild life and when guilliman got there he just finished the job
Guilliman's Crusade didn't *finish the job* on Catachan, his fleet engaged the half of the traitor fleet that managed to get away from the planet in space. When he finally reached the planet, the wildlife not only killed the invading chaos fleet, but was in the process of tearing apart the ships.
I like the small detail of the cadians all having purple eyes. For those who don't know, because of the proximity to the eye of terror, cadians have developed purple eyes as a slight mutation.
Catachan is instinct and biochemistry: void of emotion or justification. It is a series of processes and lock and key biochemical instances that work in tandem, devoid of anything resembling a soul. It does not wish or desire beyond that which it requires: health and the like. When a Catachan creature or plant eats you, it is merely a matter of course. So of course a higher psyche would not be able to comprehend an area where the creatures and plants just don't care enough beyond what you are. Tyranids have some measure of sentience and purpose: Catachan is really just flora and fauna at their most basic and primal.
I think they even killed a Chaos Lord on Catachan by throwing crap at his face, becouse, as every big name character in the setting, he didnt wear any helmet. On Catachan :)
This is why the only time my marines don't wear helmets is when I'm literally out of helmets putting them together. So as you said :We don't get shit on.
Not wearing a helmet on a planet where leaves will fall on your face, take over your mind, and use your body to spread its spores like some sort of even more fucked up Last of Us cordyceps. Probably not wise.
This was Australia's strategy against a Japanese invasion in ww2 as well. And to the Japanese's credit they saw through that and aborted any attempts at an invasion.
Australia doesn't get enough credit. They ficking held the line in the south pacific while the US was getting its war economy online, they fought the Japanese to a standstill on Papua New Guinea and then with a little US help pushed them off the whole island.
I wish We had more movies/series featuring other Allies than the U.S and British forces to highlight the valor of other nations. Don’t get me wrong, the U.S and British did a damn mighty job but they tend to get the spotlight the most.
@@jakobtarrasericsson4295 i mean I think there are actually a lot of movies about the minor allies if you go looking. I know of at least one covering the Kokoda track campaign, there's one on Narvik starring the Norwegians, there's also a shit-ton of Soviet ones, and probably a bunch more.
@sneedfeedandseed2410 hahah i can imagine a battleship filled with plants-insects whose sole purpose is breaking chaos apart and making their gods facepalm at how bad is chaos forces at eating their vegetables
Abaddon pussies out and drops the Blackstone Fortress on Catachan Only for a giant worm to emerge from a giant pit, slam into the Blackstone and push it back into orbit while gnawing at it
Funny things is, and I checked, that the Catachan invasion and it’s ending here is all cannon. The chaos daemons were all eaten by the wildlife and plants.
Ate a Bloodthirster: Kinda spicy, but not really... Ate an Unclean one: Blegh... Could have been worse tho... Ate a blue mollusk chicken: Friday already? Ate purple tentacle: Slimy... But satisfyingly disgusting...
@@amraniussilber5244 The implication that Tzeench's forces turn up on Catachan every friday and gets eaten at _least_ once a week, is just morbidly hilarious.
@@AverageNecronEnthusiasttrust me Everything in Catachan is basically a Full Yujiro Hanma of The Apex Predators. The Climate, The Dirt, The Seeds, a Freaking Pineapple is one of The worst things You can found in this monstruosity of Planet You enter Catachan. You don't exit Catachan That's The Rule
Battle of Cadia: *one of, if not THE most climactic fight between the Imperium and Chaos since the Siege of Holy Terra during the Horus Heresy.* "Invasion" of Catachan: _over before Guiliman even arrives_
I can imagine that invading cadia is hard for chaos to invade but can deal with it while invading catachan they will be like “dark god pls get me out of this jungle!! I rather be fighting enemies at the wasteland or city siege than fighting in the jungle!”
@@nonya1366 I can perfectly see Cadian regiments being born and made in the shattered remnants of their homeworld, having lasting so long that they actually manated to have kids. It would be like an asteroid field of Rocks kind of like Craftworlds, and I want to see the divergent cultures as chunks get separated more and more from the original location.
I just realized that if Abbadon tried the same stunt he pulled with Cadia, he would likely end up getting his Ship eaten by the planet. ...Yes, I said what I said.
@@Victor-056 "BY THE EMPEROR I'VE DONE A BIG MISTAKE!" - Abaddon the Despolier's last words before being eaten alive by the smallest carnivorous bug on Catachan
There was a chaos invasion here Catach- boy: Yep. Wh... Where did it go? CB: its in The hole (points at a massive pit containing dozens of Catachan devils and plant life)
Meanwhile as soon as a chaos demon spawns onto kriegs surface they just immediately die from radiation poisoning and he's wondering wtf just happened cuz he's a fooking demon!
Well, there -is- chaos spawn who can survive without oxygen, gravity, bones, flesh, blood, or having what many consider a brain. They still get violently murdered by the locals on the surface. Because their hungry and krieg won't let them inside.
Y si sobrevive descubrira que no es el caos invadiendo kriegs, es el kriegs invadiendo kriegs mientras los demonios se aterran ante seres con un 0% de deseos de sobrevivir
Cadia: 3 waves of daemons, traitor marines, and a mess of other units... Couldn't take the planet, Abaddon just rammed the continent sized battle cruiser into the planet shattering it. Catachan: Raiding/warband fleet invaded Catachan... By the time the Imperium's soldiers came to fight, the Chaos ships were already smoking and leaving the system.
From what I read, those ones that Gulliman's forces destroyed were the few remnants that managed to get off Catachan. By the time they arrived, they found that the Catachan Wildlife were _eating_ the Chaos ships that failed to get away in time!
They can be glad that they did not hear a certain crazy man shouting "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" In the distance, that dead would have been worse
As the Catachan wildlife retreated from the chaos forces, assuming that had won, they Then hear in the distance: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Sly Marbo was actually there. However, like his brethren, he too knew a live-action comedy was in-bound so him simply stood there very still in ground zero so he had premium seat for the whole show.
Catachan is like Brazil, Florida, Ohio and Vietnam blended into a smoothie and then sprinkled with Chernobyl level worth of radiated evolution for it's inhabitants.
Catachans: cracks open a cold beer, sits down, and chills meanwhile the plants tear apart the chaos on their planet. Cadians: fighting for their fucking life.
Catachans are the biggest chads ever, just regular guardsmen who adapted to this shit death world where not even deamons can survive in for more than a week. Fucking great
Best part is that the original colonists were from a colony ship that crashed into the planet and when the Imperium found them instead of mass migrating off the planet they were like "Nah we're good". Also a not so fun fact is that its thought the reason the planet was like that in the first place was because a single Tyranid spore landed on the planet and said planet reacted very very aggressively to it.
The thing is, the human Catachans have become part of the environment. It is still law of survival and the survival of the fittest. But they are now accepted by the ecology of Catachan as one of their own. When Chaos humans arrived and started summoning Khorne and other Chaos daemons that started changing and warping the jungle, the entire ecosystem reacted as one organism to attack them relentlessly. And they didn't last long.
Reminder that when The Great Rift opened, Catachan got sucked in and got spat back out a little while later…with nothing daemonic or even corrupted about it… The combined forces of chaos looked at Catachan and all said “Fuck that”
Shout out to the Punisher at 0:25 just casually entering from stage left and let off a *BRRRRRT-* for a split second only to have Cadia fall like 2 seconds later
The best part of Catachan lore is when Great Rift was opened and Guilliman launched Indomitus Crusade, when he arrived there he discovered that Catachans dealt with demonic invasions on their own
I regret finding this channel. Not because of the superb quality of content, but because I discovered it at a time I should have been in bed and have now binge watched everything and have work in a couple of hours.
So beautiful, I almost shed a tear of joy. Serious, watching this is starting to become an addiction. If it has ANY fault; it's runtime is too short. I keep pausing it at the 00:48 mark, as it's killing me (in a good way) That mocking laughter is audible opium. I also love the "glory for the first Doge to die!!!" but what I cannot figure out for the life of me: his mouth opens, but then never moves while he is speaking. I take it that it's just how Imperial Guardsdoge speak. Certainly abhumans but, they must have very distinct vocal cords, from other Humanoids. For the average Guardsman working along-side their Guardsdoge 'Cousins' it must be off-putting at first, and no doubt takes some getting use to. Not picking on them, but the way they move about... it is strange and inhuman as well. But as long as they stand firm against the darkness, then that's cool by me. Would gladly fight shoulder to shoulder with the Doge.... they got heart, and that counts for a Hell of a lot!
I've done a great injustice to the Golden Throne. It is that I was unaware that this channel existed until today and will rectify this failing with a Sub. Keep up the good work loyal servant of the Imperium.
Cadia: *monty python Bedevere voice* “Didn’t Catachan become tainted by daemons and chaos?” Catachans: *english peasant vioce* “It got better.” Rest of 40k: “Note to self; avoid Catachan at All costs.”
The Catachans should rename themselves to the Catachads. Because every time they’re deployed to a jungle world the enemy goes home with severe PTSD or in a body bag.
Catachan: Biomass so horrific, even the Tyranids go "oh no thank you we'll just invade Baal again."
I am convinced that unless the planet was caught as collateral damage in some mass disaster, Catachan may well be the last planet in the imperium to fall to its enemies…
If only because nobody in their right mind would DARE attack the planet unless either death wishes are involved, the attacking party is woefully overconfident and underwhelmed with the planets dread reputation, or they managed to accumulate a crusade enough that would be able to casually topple terra overnight anyway.
No. Tyranids look at Catachan like Johnny Bravo looks at women. Tyranids all up on it only for Catachan to spray it with mace and beat their ass.
Half the planet is literally a Tyranid
@@Kenj1090 what about half the plant life literally being a tyranid that produces spores because of course it doea
@@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire "In the 60th millenia, the galaxy has grown cold, the armies of forces unknowable walk the galaxy, the horrors crush the minds of any who yet still live...
Except on Catachan, because Catachan ate everyone who showed up and the Catachan inhabitants are too thick headed to be broken by eldritch abominations."
Catachan: Get off my lawn.
Chaos: Or what?
Catachan: Or my lawn will eat you.
Catachan: get of my lawn.
Chaos: or what?
Catachan: No I'm literally warning you for your safety, get off it.
*teenager finished peeing on someone's lawn*
"Hey, get off my property!"
"What are you gonna do about it?"
"I'm gonna move you *the fuck* down."
"Oh yeah? With what?"
*lawnmower going 300 mph on a teenager*
"OOAAAAOA-"
Catachan is buff australia
@@denizciftci4720 But just like Catachan Australia is not real.
Get of the lawn or the lawn will get you
"Didn't you have a demonic incursion"
"Yep"
"How are you all still alive?"
"The plants ate 'em."
Did they not see the "do not step on grass" sign?
What about the "do not step on dirt" sign?
Apologies, I just remembered the giant "Don't." Signs plastered everywhere.
@@GrenzRell What about the "Do or Do not, you still will die" signs
@@alect525 "Do not enter, we won't punish you if you do because if you survive that'll be enough punishment in itself."
I loved reading that bit in catachan Lore, where the catachans had to deploy their full force of 60 million off world. Basically they left their homeworld completely defenseless.
When they finished their campaign and came back home, they found a mountain of dead world eaters,and the planet was fine
"Pansy ass traitors and daemons, couldn't even handle a flower." - Catachan who just got home
When you don't lock your house before leaving because you're safer outside
They forgot their planet have the real local people
It’s absolutely fucking wild that their full force is only 60 million considering how many billions the forces of humanity deploy.
@@bluedog843 60 million rambos is a formidable forces
On cadia you fight the cadians
On catachan, catachan fights you.
In Cadia, you fight Cadians.
In Soviet Catachan, planet fights you
In cadia, you fight cadians
In Soviet catachan, catchan fights you
On Cadia, you fight the Cadians
On Catachan, the planet EATS you
@@BlackWolf-bu5dt that definitely sums it up i would rather see a tyrranid the size of Godzilla than go to catachan
@@dennislemasters4339yeah lets be honest, you probably have a better chance of surviving with an entire hive fleet of nids than you do being plopped down on that dammed rock
This is a actual paragraph from the Warhammer Wiki page for Catachan
"After the formation of the Great Rift following the fall of Cadia in 999.M41, Catachan was caught within the malignant Warp rift and exposed to a massive daemonic invasion. However when Roboute Guilliman's Indomitus Crusade arrived at Catachan, its Astartes found that the local Catachan regiments had already dealt with the threat on their own."
Chad's
The whole lot
Catachan’s scratching their head confused. “Gonna be honest, we never saw em. Like we saw the ships appear in orbit, but their men never made it out of the forest after making planet fall.”
@@khairallahdh "Well, one pack of dropships landed in the 'pede swamp. No need to worry about them."
(Catachan Burrowing Centipedes are apparently a thing in-lore... I am just assuming it's like the one in Mechwarrior Online that can eat a Battlemech as they are apparently an Apex Predator of the planet...)
@@theghostinthemachine think in lore the apex predator is the catachan devil. A giant centipede the size of a train and just as long. Definitely able to bring down a Knight, maaaybe a war hound titan if it managed to get close before the war hound hammered it with its ranged weaponry. Can’t pilot titans on catachan though, forest is too big.
@@khairallahdh a Knight is about the right size, and yeah that's what I was thinking of. A centipede the size of a freight train that tears through 'Mech scale armor, and has fangs larger then the bodies of most infantry. I just remembered they burrow, and are giant centipedes.
Makes sense- Centipedes are great diggers in swampy, damp terrain... Also great for their rush-down attacks.
Catachan are the only humans who can go "Where Im from" and nobody would question it no matter what they said
Except for the Krieg and Valhallans.
@@Peter_Turbo4 *Makes a so-so gesture*
Everyone knows Catachan… no one questions how bad it is when joining the Imperial Guard is a preferable alternative.
@@Peter_Turbo4 kreigs don't need to say it, them being there says it all.
@@Peter_Turbo4 krieg is just death. Catachan is nightmare fuel.
The idea of a Chaos Lord begging the Chaos Gods themselves to save him from a bush is fucking hilarious.
It’s also the frogs and mosquitoes that are in those bushes.
It's fun and games until the bushes start speaking low gothic.
@@Blaze_RavenXD
@@Blaze_Raven There is Catachan flora that can speak human languages?
@@opusmagnus26yes, it employs the aid of the local catachan fighter hiding inside it to speak its intent
"GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!"
>Regiment collectively commits suicide.
Chaos and The Emperor: wtf guys
And by the way, it's a legit strategy to seriously fk up khornite invasion
Or any chaos invasion if you think about it...
“GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE!”
Dkk: *happy gas mask noises*
Commissar "By the Emperor! Who sent the Nippon Reinforcements again!"
Emperor: Guess nobody ever heard the term "RETREAT" in this army...
@@white0thunderwhite0thunder71 commissar: *Blams the Emperor* HERESY!
Abaddon: HALF OF OUR ARMY GOT WIPED BY A FUCKING FROG?!
*loud ribbit*
Abaddon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Skarr: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Kairos: *loud bird screech*
Nice tts ref
Actually, Catachan Barking Toads are a real 40k creature, and TTS didn’t actually exaggerate the dangers of these toads at all
having not watched tts I thought Lord Kroak popped into 40k for a second
lucious: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
@@Kieferson1 NO BOOPING!
Okay I just noticed all the Cadian Doges had purple eyes that was a nice touch.
It's small and only appears in like 1-2 scenes but I just love it when people pay attention to small things
why are they purple
Do all Cadians have purple eyes?
@@Noorthia The proximity of Cadia to the eye of terror, so basically all their people are affected by the warp albeit in the benign way, which shows in their eyes being purple.
@@Noorthia Warp taint. They are all mutated.
When even daemons think twice before attempting to invade the planet, you know it's one helluva deathtrap. And somehow the Catachan people are living on it, AND making it work!
Catachans are just space Ausies, you don't know how do they manage to survive... for them it is just another friday
Because they Are part of the planet. Just roided up apes swinging large knives that they made lmao
@@Karti200 Live ...uummhh finds a way
@@Karti200 dont forget that private of catachan is a fcking rambo
@@Karti200is argue just another Saturday
"For you, this was an apocalyptic invasion of the Forces of Chaos that might seem like the end of days. But for Catachan, it was Tuesday."
Taco Tuesday, don't you know?
For Catachan it was a vacation
No no, it was a lazy Sunday
@@HelghastStalker which is on Friday
@@gunmunz We do not question it. Tacos are delicious!
I love how when Chaos invaded it went damn near exactly like the meme. The Catachans didn’t have to do anything, the psycho wildlife killed all the daemons and everything else
They did lift a finger, they to were to busy surviving, when they saw a 50 foot tall daemon they were just like
"OMFE I thought it was the frog, man this will be so much easier"
@@Fourtytwo4242The frog kills everything within kilometers of it.
No wonder catachans are not afraid of building sized demons.
Guilliman rolls up. “We’re here to save you from the daemons and heretics”
Is confused as the catachans aren’t sure what he’s referring too. “I mean some ships showed up in orbit for a minute but they left soon after. Never saw the blokes they landed on the planet though.”
Yep they just ran into the jungles and did gorilla tactics on the Deamons as all the human cultists dies in the first few days
If I remember correctly one time they literally all left the planet one time and returned to find that despite being undefended the natural wildlife had apparently entirely game ended a world eater invasion
Okay but can we appreciate how well down the Cadia scene is?
Though it’s HIGHLY inaccurate.
@@mapleflag6518 dude did not get the humour of the video 😂
@@acevergel1999 My dude, 40k memes are often presented as fact.
@@mapleflag6518 or maybe people Get interested to it and Become Curious about it.
So they Research and Find out the whole story.
@@mapleflag6518dude, as an imperial guard fan, I can tell you it was VERY accurate. The Cadians made a good account of themselves but they were by no means invincible. They fight and killed swathes of Chaos forces as they were in turn slaughtered en masse themselves due to the simply nature of the fighting. I think that was represented very well in the video, with both sides killing plenty of the other.
"Why is this frog making funny noises?"
- The last words of many a traitor on Catachan.
Boop in the snoot!
@@FifingFossil don't boop the snoot
@@Wyvernlord6 Booooooooooooooop!
@@FifingFossil prolonged bird noises
🐸💥
Invading catachan is like a survival horror situation. For the daemons.
Sounds like a great place for Orks to invade.
@@fumarc4501 why do i see they all got eaten and quit bc kill camping
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD... .... ... OH SHIT THIS IS CATACHAN! GET ME OFF THIS PLANET!
@@GUMMRUCHK how bad could it be
@@ricefarmer-kr4yv very bad. If the wildlife doesn’t kill you, then the *other* life will… I know what I said.
How I describe every invasion of cadia is to imagine millions of dudes fighting millions of daemons when the sky is 90% artillery shells
You meant how to describe battle of vraks
@@FifingFossilnah, that was mostly human traitors, daemonic incursions only really started to pop en masse right at the end
@@kostakatsoulis2922 Exactly
And only 1% of the sky is actually visible, the other 9% are aircraft
UhM AcKTuAcKlEaY 50% iS aRtiLlErY 30% Is aIRcRAfT aNd ThE rEsT iS wArP PoRtAlS☝️🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
Dude just stapled that plant to the tree like he was going to cook it for dinner.
He probably did eat it all things considered
That's a Catachan delicacy right there
*Holds a 8/10 sighn up with mechadentrites while making a chefs kiss gesture*
Probably a face eater leaf that or a brain leaf
@@jamesfreeman3617 Face eater
the wildlife killed those chaos forces faster than the guys literally stationed there 💀
Boys wanted to have some fun. And watching the show was more entertaining then hunting that pitiful pray.
The boys stationed there were too busy fighting the more immediate threat of the local wildlife. A far more pressing concern then an invasion by the forces of hell
There was once an actual invasion by chaos forces of Khorne which was later defeated by the planet wildlife itself.
For ten thousand years mankind could not kill Catachan. They just survive it.
Catachan humans burn back the jungle with flamers and heavy flamers daily because it will overgrow their settlements, block sunlight, choke, poison, melt, and burn them. I swear it’s gotta be part tyranid.
when a cadian tells you to step off his property, it's a threat
when a catachan tells you to step off his property, he's warning you because he's concerned for your wellbeing if you stay
"You can conquer, but you're not fit to survive" -Catachad Trooper
This channel is the best thing to happen to the 40k franchise in years.
It reminds me of tts
@@Oppen1945 oh the edge, also the dodge pfp, of course its cringe for you high and mighty
@@Oppen1945 Gaylogamer? 2007 even ? goddamn son how is Infinite doing for you ? its shit isnt it
@@alexanderp8882 Without the rampant degeneracy of the creators.
@@Sujad Looking at Slannesh, The Drukhari, and whatever the hell the fetish gear the Custodes are wearing (Though I am being told they only wore in Rouge Trader) I'd say the degeneracy is canon.
I mean have you even read Inquisitor? It's the First 40k Novel and is full of smut.
Bloodthirster: I will feast on your soul!
Average Catachan Newborn: Would you settle for me sausage?
The Catachan dog's evil laugh is contagious. Can't help but chuckle with him.
Abaddon: Alright, fire! [Virus Bombs Catachan]
Catachan: [Inhales, exhales] Ooh, yeah, send more of that down. That shit clears the pores.
Narrator: The Forces of Chaos then retreated to the Eye of Terror, never to be seen again.
Abaddon: *Extermiantus the planet! Prepare the stolen Cyclonic torpedoes!*
(10 minutes later, the cyclonic torpedoes just made the planet the perfect greenhouse+terrarium for the wildlife and fauna there... making them flourish even more)
Abaddon: (why are we here... just to suffer?)
Nurgle will scratch his head... (speaking of virus bomb)
Chaos meeting the next day.
Tzeentch: So this Abby guy just screwed over my plans... Good job...
Khorne: Uh... I mean that was kinda fun... No I'm not sulking...
Slaanesh: This is like the worst edging...
Nurgle: I'm out of ideas... Those plants only commented my disease as barely spicy...
That ending. Just perfect Chatachan moment.
lol
"Imma cook this sh*t later"
- Catachan soldier
Chadachan casually one-shots one of the things currently ripping Traitor Marines into bite-sized pieces a few meters away.
And then probably eats it as the Catachan equivalent of popcorn while continuing to point and laugh at the heretics.
Cadia: "Chaos virgins took 13 tries and they cheated too!"
Catachan: "Aussie Planet with more vegatables. Except Vegatables eat you instead. Not even Khrone forces enjoy green hell."
The funniest part is that is canon that after the fall of cadia chaos did a full ass invation on catachan
But the demons, chaos marines and cultist didnt stop getting hunted by the local wild life and when guilliman got there he just finished the job
Guilliman's Crusade didn't *finish the job* on Catachan, his fleet engaged the half of the traitor fleet that managed to get away from the planet in space. When he finally reached the planet, the wildlife not only killed the invading chaos fleet, but was in the process of tearing apart the ships.
@@Numbers1516 bro that's more wild that i even remembered
Good thing Ol Abby was fresh out of Blackstone Fortresses to rage quit the game with.
I can't tell who is more of a trumped up plot baby, Guilliman or Abbadon.
@@ephemispriest8069 Abby easy. The dudes failed 13 times but still lingering around
Cadia: The Planet broke before the Guard did!
Catachan: The Planet broke the enemy before the Guard realised there's an invasion.
Catachan jungle: The chaos broke before we could break them up and make them food.
so true
I like the small detail of the cadians all having purple eyes. For those who don't know, because of the proximity to the eye of terror, cadians have developed purple eyes as a slight mutation.
ty for the kool little fun fact yo
Chaos, in some ways, are our worst nightmare made into reality. So Catachan is literally the planet worse than our most horrible imaginations.
Catachan is instinct and biochemistry: void of emotion or justification. It is a series of processes and lock and key biochemical instances that work in tandem, devoid of anything resembling a soul. It does not wish or desire beyond that which it requires: health and the like. When a Catachan creature or plant eats you, it is merely a matter of course.
So of course a higher psyche would not be able to comprehend an area where the creatures and plants just don't care enough beyond what you are. Tyranids have some measure of sentience and purpose: Catachan is really just flora and fauna at their most basic and primal.
I think they even killed a Chaos Lord on Catachan by throwing crap at his face, becouse, as every big name character in the setting, he didnt wear any helmet. On Catachan :)
This is why the only time my marines don't wear helmets is when I'm literally out of helmets putting them together. So as you said :We don't get shit on.
Not wearing a helmet on a planet where leaves will fall on your face, take over your mind, and use your body to spread its spores like some sort of even more fucked up Last of Us cordyceps.
Probably not wise.
@@Nostroman_Praetor based helmeted Space Marine player
Another time they introduced a daemon prince to the catachan devil. the prince got fucking bulldozed and eaten by it
This was Australia's strategy against a Japanese invasion in ww2 as well.
And to the Japanese's credit they saw through that and aborted any attempts at an invasion.
Imperial J Office: “What do you mean “the spiders fly”?!
Australia doesn't get enough credit. They ficking held the line in the south pacific while the US was getting its war economy online, they fought the Japanese to a standstill on Papua New Guinea and then with a little US help pushed them off the whole island.
I wish We had more movies/series featuring other Allies than the U.S and British forces to highlight the valor of other nations. Don’t get me wrong, the U.S and British did a damn mighty job but they tend to get the spotlight the most.
@@jakobtarrasericsson4295 i mean I think there are actually a lot of movies about the minor allies if you go looking. I know of at least one covering the Kokoda track campaign, there's one on Narvik starring the Norwegians, there's also a shit-ton of Soviet ones, and probably a bunch more.
They found out about the emus
if Cadia and Catachan were swapped positions in space im sure the great rift would have never been formed
@sneedfeedandseed2410 hahah i can imagine a battleship filled with plants-insects whose sole purpose is breaking chaos apart and making their gods facepalm at how bad is chaos forces at eating their vegetables
no the plants would get warp mutated and the new chaos god of vegetables would be born
Abaddon pussies out and drops the Blackstone Fortress on Catachan
Only for a giant worm to emerge from a giant pit, slam into the Blackstone and push it back into orbit while gnawing at it
Them mfs would mutate because of the warp and then give the daemons ptsd
Ah Space Australia. Maybe don't invade a planet full of Actual Monsters.
Nah nah it's space nam, mixed with Australia
Green Hellworld
That Vietnam + Australia + Amazon
Catachan is diet Australia. I bet I could survive longer on Catachan than Australia.
I must've taken as many screenshots as the amount of Legionaries chaos lost on Catachan. Those action sequences were amazing!
Funny things is, and I checked, that the Catachan invasion and it’s ending here is all cannon. The chaos daemons were all eaten by the wildlife and plants.
Ate a Bloodthirster: Kinda spicy, but not really...
Ate an Unclean one: Blegh... Could have been worse tho...
Ate a blue mollusk chicken: Friday already?
Ate purple tentacle: Slimy... But satisfyingly disgusting...
@@amraniussilber5244 The implication that Tzeench's forces turn up on Catachan every friday and gets eaten at _least_ once a week, is just morbidly hilarious.
@@Victor-056
Tzeench: J-J-Just as planned! Yes! K-Kairos back me up bud!
Kairos the Fate-fucked-weaver: Yes / No.
The only place in the galaxy where insects eat warlord titans.
They are the size of trains
Hierophant: am I a joke to you?
@@AverageNecronEnthusiast Catachan: Yes.
@@AverageNecronEnthusiasttyrannids got felted after invading catachan.
@@AverageNecronEnthusiasttrust me
Everything in Catachan is basically a Full Yujiro Hanma of The Apex Predators.
The Climate, The Dirt, The Seeds, a Freaking Pineapple is one of The worst things You can found in this monstruosity of Planet
You enter Catachan.
You don't exit Catachan
That's The Rule
Battle of Cadia: *one of, if not THE most climactic fight between the Imperium and Chaos since the Siege of Holy Terra during the Horus Heresy.*
"Invasion" of Catachan: _over before Guiliman even arrives_
I think in reality Guillman heard that and just went there to see the carnage and drink some beers
@@Sorcerer86pt Guillman need to vent his stress so he went to see how funny that was
Bro the absurdity of this production combined with the Dawn of War voice lines is genuis.
I can imagine that invading cadia is hard for chaos to invade but can deal with it while invading catachan they will be like “dark god pls get me out of this jungle!! I rather be fighting enemies at the wasteland or city siege than fighting in the jungle!”
Chaos can't invade Cadia, because Cadia is no longer their as it split in half, the planet broke before the guard did!. lol
@@leekent3587 oof…
@@leekent3587 as of war of the spider, the Cadians are still defending it's pieces
@@essexclass8168 Cadian: "The planet is breaking apart, but there's still chaos here." *Puts on helmet* "Guess we're void born regiments now!"
@@nonya1366 I can perfectly see Cadian regiments being born and made in the shattered remnants of their homeworld, having lasting so long that they actually manated to have kids.
It would be like an asteroid field of Rocks kind of like Craftworlds, and I want to see the divergent cultures as chunks get separated more and more from the original location.
Ah Catachan... the place where "Get off my lawn" is more of a warning than a threat.
Kudos on the attention to detail in the cadian doges eyes!
I love how in 40k lore that invaders of Catachan always get swallowed by the jungle long before they come across a single Jungle Fighter.
I just realized that if Abbadon tried the same stunt he pulled with Cadia, he would likely end up getting his Ship eaten by the planet.
...Yes, I said what I said.
@@Victor-056 "BY THE EMPEROR I'VE DONE A BIG MISTAKE!"
- Abaddon the Despolier's last words before being eaten alive by the smallest carnivorous bug on Catachan
There was a chaos invasion here
Catach- boy: Yep.
Wh... Where did it go?
CB: its in The hole
(points at a massive pit containing dozens of Catachan devils and plant life)
Guilliman: “has that hole always been there and so big?”
The Hole: *_*thumming sound even more unholy than the Warp*_*
"oh my god what is that?"
@@blackmesaenjoyer It's a hole.
Meanwhile as soon as a chaos demon spawns onto kriegs surface they just immediately die from radiation poisoning and he's wondering wtf just happened cuz he's a fooking demon!
Well, there -is- chaos spawn who can survive without oxygen, gravity, bones, flesh, blood, or having what many consider a brain.
They still get violently murdered by the locals on the surface. Because their hungry and krieg won't let them inside.
Y si sobrevive descubrira que no es el caos invadiendo kriegs, es el kriegs invadiendo kriegs mientras los demonios se aterran ante seres con un 0% de deseos de sobrevivir
Cadia: 3 waves of daemons, traitor marines, and a mess of other units... Couldn't take the planet, Abaddon just rammed the continent sized battle cruiser into the planet shattering it.
Catachan: Raiding/warband fleet invaded Catachan... By the time the Imperium's soldiers came to fight, the Chaos ships were already smoking and leaving the system.
From what I read, those ones that Gulliman's forces destroyed were the few remnants that managed to get off Catachan.
By the time they arrived, they found that the Catachan Wildlife were _eating_ the Chaos ships that failed to get away in time!
@@Victor-056 Catachan wildlife: "The warp taint really adds to the flavour."
@@yuriski1 considering an average catachan menu, steel tainted by warp energy took *less* energy to gnaw upon. Lmao.
They can be glad that they did not hear a certain crazy man shouting "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" In the distance, that dead would have been worse
Abbacorgi or Koridon may have taken Cadia but he lost a lot to do it. Also love the purple eyes, your attention to detail is always great!
Abbadon was actually losing pretty bad
They didn’t even take it, they just raged and shattered it.
on Cadia, theres one thing missing, the Baneblade whos hidding behind a bush
“It is the BAAANEBLAAADE!!!”
CREEEEED!
That must have been one big ass bush.
The Planet fell before the Good Bois.
“*Why do people live here?!*”
>Literally anyone visiting Catachan
Wow, chaos was very lucky in the catachan incursion...
they didn't encounter sly marbo
As the Catachan wildlife retreated from the chaos forces, assuming that had won, they Then hear in the distance: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
@@ghostofrandom the only thing they fear...
*IS HIM*
Sly Marbo was actually there.
However, like his brethren, he too knew a live-action comedy was in-bound so him simply stood there very still in ground zero so he had premium seat for the whole show.
When Sly Marbo went off Catachan, the Planet was not a death world anymore
@@giovannicostantini1637 bro
Well that might just be the best bit of 40k animation ever. Lol.
Big E himself could not surpass this perfection.
I appreciate the little touch of giving all the Cadian doggos violet eyes!
Catachan is like Brazil, Florida, Ohio and Vietnam blended into a smoothie and then sprinkled with Chernobyl level worth of radiated evolution for it's inhabitants.
You forgot Australia.
@@MrGoatFish10 Ah yes, Australia too.
@@harmacist6623 Australia is the pie crust.
don't forget africa like salt
I instantly recognized the Allister Black theme for Cadia.
Love the little detail of cadians eyes being purple, beautiful
On Catachan, nobody can touch grass.
A catachan telling you to go touch grass is their way of saying that you should go off yourself.
On Catachan you fear the vegan guy.
On Cadia, the planet broke before the Guard.
On Catachan, Chaos broke before the guard woke up.
Really sucks to be chaos on Catachan I guess.
Good thing I never play chaos.
I know this is a shitpost but the detail of the Cadian troops having purple eyes but not the Commissar is mindblowing to me!
Well done.
Catachans: cracks open a cold beer, sits down, and chills meanwhile the plants tear apart the chaos on their planet. Cadians: fighting for their fucking life.
Catachans are the biggest chads ever, just regular guardsmen who adapted to this shit death world where not even deamons can survive in for more than a week. Fucking great
Best part is that the original colonists were from a colony ship that crashed into the planet and when the Imperium found them instead of mass migrating off the planet they were like "Nah we're good". Also a not so fun fact is that its thought the reason the planet was like that in the first place was because a single Tyranid spore landed on the planet and said planet reacted very very aggressively to it.
@@dragonace119 oh I knew tyranids had to be involved in this mess
@@Shrek40K no, it got eaten alive by the planet
@@Shrek40K Yep, believe there's also a few lifeforms that are basically Tyranid lifeforms gone feral.
@@soliar5209 lol
The thing is, the human Catachans have become part of the environment. It is still law of survival and the survival of the fittest. But they are now accepted by the ecology of Catachan as one of their own.
When Chaos humans arrived and started summoning Khorne and other Chaos daemons that started changing and warping the jungle, the entire ecosystem reacted as one organism to attack them relentlessly. And they didn't last long.
Don’t forget even Tyrant bio masses were eaten alive by plants and Huuuuge beast that imperial didn’t record 😂😂😅
Unironically the cadia animation was hype as fuck
Reminder that when The Great Rift opened, Catachan got sucked in and got spat back out a little while later…with nothing daemonic or even corrupted about it…
The combined forces of chaos looked at Catachan and all said “Fuck that”
Abaddoge is amazing, these are solid gold
As an Adeptus, i declare that your channel is not heretic and helped me in my fight against xenos and the Chaos. Glory to the Imperium!
The jungle fighter stopping his celebration to stab an aggressive plant really ties it all together.
"Touch Grass" on Catachan is considered a death threat.
Shout out to the Punisher at 0:25 just casually entering from stage left and let off a *BRRRRRT-* for a split second only to have Cadia fall like 2 seconds later
The best part of Catachan lore is when Great Rift was opened and Guilliman launched Indomitus Crusade, when he arrived there he discovered that Catachans dealt with demonic invasions on their own
I regret finding this channel.
Not because of the superb quality of content, but because I discovered it at a time I should have been in bed and have now binge watched everything and have work in a couple of hours.
Meanwhile the orks love invading catachan, heck one of them has become the boogeyman for young catachans to keep an eye out for when going to bed.
i mean, makes sense, the planet itself is giving them such a good fight
Catachan: Our world is more inhospitable than hell.
Any planet that births Sly Marbo is not one to be taken lightly
Now I want a full 3 hour movie with these Doggos :)
Abbadon: I fear no man, but that thing- *Looks at Catachan* -it scares me…
I've watched this maybe a dozen times and I've just noticed you gave the Cadian Doges purple tinted eyes, excellent attention to detail.
I still laugh everytime I read about how guilliman went to catachan during his crusade and found all the demons died from plants
Ahhh another cheemz Hammer 40k video
Today is a good day
Pray the Omnisaiah 🤖☠️
That Homer Simpson laugh at the end has no right to be as hysterical as it is.
Basically going “welcome to my world”
I laughed harder at this than anything in recent memory. Truly The Emperor speaks through you.
-Chaos forces: We've successfully invaded Catachan!
-The Jungle Fighters laughed, the Jungle laughed, The Catachan Devils laughed.
So beautiful, I almost shed a tear of joy. Serious, watching this is starting to become an addiction. If it has ANY fault; it's runtime is too short. I keep pausing it at the 00:48 mark, as it's killing me (in a good way) That mocking laughter is audible opium.
I also love the "glory for the first Doge to die!!!" but what I cannot figure out for the life of me: his mouth opens, but then never moves while he is speaking. I take it that it's just how Imperial Guardsdoge speak. Certainly abhumans but, they must have very distinct vocal cords, from other Humanoids.
For the average Guardsman working along-side their Guardsdoge 'Cousins' it must be off-putting at first, and no doubt takes some getting use to.
Not picking on them, but the way they move about... it is strange and inhuman as well. But as long as they stand firm against the darkness, then that's cool by me. Would gladly fight shoulder to shoulder with the Doge.... they got heart, and that counts for a Hell of a lot!
I am _convinced_ that Catachan is the only planet in the galaxy that could survive a virus bombing
The Homer Simpson laugh always gets me.
I love Abaddoge! This channel is quickly becoming one of my favorites!
0:40 I modified a meme for this
Catachan is what happens when you take Pandora, wipe out all the Na'vi, and give Eywa a nice, big dose of epinephrine, as well as some meth.
I've done a great injustice to the Golden Throne. It is that I was unaware that this channel existed until today and will rectify this failing with a Sub. Keep up the good work loyal servant of the Imperium.
Cadia: *monty python Bedevere voice* “Didn’t Catachan become tainted by daemons and chaos?”
Catachans: *english peasant vioce* “It got better.”
Rest of 40k: “Note to self; avoid Catachan at All costs.”
After the incident in catachan chaos forces never dare to step foot in this green Hell Hole planet ever again.
Chaos fighting Cadian troops: **Soviet Russian anthem plays**
Chaos fighting Catachan troops: **Vietnam flashbacks loop**
Chaos forces look around Catachan:
"WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!"
When dealing with demons, sometimes nature really does know best.
The Catachans should rename themselves to the Catachads. Because every time they’re deployed to a jungle world the enemy goes home with severe PTSD or in a body bag.
You summed up the battle pretty well. Really like the opening with music. In another world 40k is just doggo faced heros