GUYS - I wasn't sure if I should share this video but the PARAGRAPHS that the few of you are leaving here are making me feel like it was the right thing to do. I appreciate you.
I respect your transparency so much. Currently, in my CS PhD now, and yes I don't think its ever too late! Wishing you the best in chasing your dream Ciara!
I really loved this honestly and want to thank you for your vulnerability! I can relate on so many levels, I am at the end of my social sciences PhD, weeks away from submitting my thesis. I came into the journey because I thought I wanted to follow the academic track, like you, being told you're good academically made me feel that this was the right thing to do. Quite quickly I realised that it isn't the life that I want, and for the past 2 years while doing my PhD I have also been pursuing my counselling training so that I can help with those with trauma heal. It feels really scary to admit that the PhD perhaps isn't going to lead where I thought it was initially, but I do not feel it was a waste. Sorry for rambling, just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey as it helps to know I am not alone!
Aw thank you Laura, I really appreciate this message. Sitting here wondering if I should have posted this video and messages like this also make me feel not so alone! Congratulations on getting to this stage in your PhD, it is a special time and a little bit of a scary time so I wish you the best over the next few weeks.
Love this Ciara ❤ Life is both short and long - too short not to pursue your dreams but (hopefully) long enough so we can experience several different careers and lifestyles - it’s never too late!
OK. So I cannot tell you how over the moon I am that you posted this video. Firstly because - YOU GO GIRL! Secondly because I am going through almost the exact same thing. I left the world of events 10 years ago because the company I worked for was diabolical. An old client I loved got in touch and asked me to work for her in Scotland last week and I have a complete blast! There’s so many similarities between our stories, right down to the grieving process I’m still trying to navigate having got back to normality last week .. but I am so hopeful and excited for both of us! Can’t wait to come watch you in something soon!! 💜💜💜
Oh my goodness. A kindred spirit! I’m glad to hear that you’re finding your way back to yourself and I hope that you have many similar (and better) experiences in the future xx
I'm so glad we got a chance to meet at ICCBR in 2022, and thank you for taking the time to share this and for your honesty throughout the entire process of pursuing this. I vibe hard with the realisation that maybe the Ph.D. track didn't lead me to a place where I wanted to end up eventually. I went into academia to learn about music instrument creation (i.e., hardware and software) , and it ended up pulling me further and further away until I became confused about what I wanted in the first place. The path forward is always scary, but glad you're helping create a community of folks who support one another through this process of change and growth! Can't wait to see how you continue to manifest these things for you! 🙌
Aw Michael, so glad to hear from you! How are you getting on? I really appreciated you connecting with me at ICCBR because sometimes I forget that there are real people watching these videos and it's nice to put a face to the faceless void. Are you still working on XAI and creativity?
Thank you so much first of all for opening a YT channel and then making a video on this topic which hardly any one touches. There are so many of us going through similar stuff and it feels like we are not alone. 😊
Oh gosh. I didn’t realise how many people were feeling this way. I think there’s just a sense that having spent so much time and money on education we “should” be making the most of it
Hey Ciara, it is really beautiful to see your joy! And see that at your young age you already found how to live in alignment with your passions and desires! Best of luck 🍀❤️
Thanks for sharing your experience! I can definitely relate, as my academic journey has been quite similar. Studying always felt like a safe space for me, but I often felt out of place compared to others who took a more traditional path. I’ve been balancing work and studies since my late teens, and that made me feel like I never fully fit in anywhere. I also used to push aside my creative passions, telling myself they were silly and made me feel too exposed. The “Shadow Artist” chapter in The Artist’s Way really hit home and almost made me consider quitting my PhD to pursue a creative career... Ironically, my research focuses on professional identity and how we often let our work define us ! Now, I’m trying to find a healthier balance by putting my real passions at the forefront and seeing work as something meaningful, but not the core of who I am. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those who align closely with their work; it’s just that, for me, as someone who’s a people-pleaser, it’s been hard to prioritize what I really want over what others expect of me :)
This paragraph SLAPS. Yes. Yes yes. The shadow artist, I am her. Or at least I was. I thought maybe as a drama teacher or potentially a director I was pursuing the passion but it’s like living vicariously through others. People pleasing is an absolute blight on my life. Im still not quite over it. Professional identity seems like such an interesting area of study. Sometimes I wish I could have just picked a simple career and stuck to it and found a circle in my workplace the way other people seem to. I’m really glad to hear that you’re finding a healthier balance and getting some more time for your own creative endeavours.
@@PhDandProductivity Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I completely agree, and it’s so inspiring that you’ve been able to step into your own as both an artist AND an academic :) And the part about living vicariously through others-yeah, I’m still working on that too. Teaching is a wonderful creative outlet and builds a lot of skills, but it’s definitely not the same as DOING the thing, haha. I think since we often take our work life so seriously and let it shape part of our identity, viewing our art not as a hobby but as legitimate work can help us take ourselves more seriously-if that makes sense. Maybe one day, the actor, sculptor, or dancer might feel like their initial passion has become just “work” (and that’s a whole other topic), but as long as we stay connected to what drew us in and keep finding meaning in what we do, I believe we’re on the right path. It’s all about staying aligned with ourselves. That’s where true fulfillment is found
@@cleverhowever yes it’s one of my big goals next year to make my art my work even if I don’t get paid for it necessarily… more on that when I’ve figured it out more haha! But the hope being it will be what I spend most of my time doing and that I’d have income likely from other endeavours to cover that
Very interesting! I have had a similar experience, changed careers and did a very intensive 3 months away from home training in a new field. I had previous knowledge of this new field, which is why I knew it was the right thing for me, but having such an intense experience really does change your life! Started my own business after that &still loving it!
I don't think I'll ever face that kind of experience, I mean being so passionate about something to achieve the level of expertise. So I've tried several things after I got my degree in Computer Science, that includes pursuing a bachelor's degree in Anthropology which I'm half way through, I think that going to university can be a lonely experience and one can feel like it doesn't belong, to me it's more a manner of my personality, I'm an introvert and often dismissed the importance of interact with people. So like I said I like to try different things and that's why I feel it's never to late to do what you've dreamed of your entire life, I'm so happy that you enjoyed that month doing it and I hope is just the beginning and you get to enjoy performing more often.
Thanks Cris! Are you enjoying the anthropology course? University can definitely be lonely. I'm quite introverted too so I never really expect to make friends or deep meaningful connections with people but actually I'm finding that in the right context I do crave that.
@@PhDandProductivity I do, my favorite subject in high school was Social Studies, but I never pictured myself being a professor for a living, I can't stand repetition lol. And to be honest is hard to make money as an Archaeologist, which is the path Im going to choose (the major I'm coursing makes you choose between that and Social Anthropology). I just checked that your PhD is in CS, what a coincidence. What was your masters and bachelor degrees on?
We are the opposite in a way ❤ I pursued acting putting my master on hold then wrote my thesis on the actor (I think I commented about this in the past). Now I don't dream of being an actor anymore which is wild for me. It's so much pressure about the looks for me and it's so hard to land even small jobs, making connections, having to do stuff you don't believe in, commercials, long hours, lots of waiting around. I just felt like an object. Now I dream of getting into a PhD program in Japanese aesthetic of the performance 😂 I still love the field, but I think maybe I'll try take voice over courses and hosting my own acting courses. But I want to go for academia for real and just try this route. Maybe I'm gonna drop out as well but I don't care, it's still life experience. Now I'm working a part time job I don't really like but it's kinda easy and the rest of the time I resumed playing piano and I am learning Japanese. It's so hard to understand what we are really meant to do... I wish you the best ❤
I totally get that. I think I am still glad that I didn't choose a career in acting as a younger person because I see the struggles of friends of mine who also might have to take jobs that they don't really believe in. So I'm very thankful now that I can approach it from a place of having choice. I think academia applied to acting and what you're talking about - Japanese aesthetic of the performance - sounds so interesting. I also feel like you know these are SEASONS of life. It's ok to follow one path then choose another then find that same path again whatever happens but I think at the moment there is still a lot of rigidity in people's views of one another and what a "career" means etc.
@@PhDandProductivity totally! I love doing many things in a life, not just one or two... I enjoyed everything so far! Not to mention how the acting training helps me in every field! Now I'm so much better at communicating, putting myself out there, talking to people, being in public... It's like a huge push into the discomfort zone. Everybody should do it. I also learned useful stuff the first year about directing, writing screenplays, editing etc. Being multiversed is very useful nowadays.
My drama school offers drama teacher training so I have a level 8 (equivalent to bachelor's) diploma in drama teaching. Because it's an outside of school activity here there is no qualification required to offer drama lessons, it would be the same as a kids art class or soccer group for example. I saved a lot for the course - various income over the past few years of running the drama school business, lecturing and content creation.
GUYS - I wasn't sure if I should share this video but the PARAGRAPHS that the few of you are leaving here are making me feel like it was the right thing to do. I appreciate you.
I respect your transparency so much. Currently, in my CS PhD now, and yes I don't think its ever too late! Wishing you the best in chasing your dream Ciara!
I really loved this honestly and want to thank you for your vulnerability! I can relate on so many levels, I am at the end of my social sciences PhD, weeks away from submitting my thesis. I came into the journey because I thought I wanted to follow the academic track, like you, being told you're good academically made me feel that this was the right thing to do. Quite quickly I realised that it isn't the life that I want, and for the past 2 years while doing my PhD I have also been pursuing my counselling training so that I can help with those with trauma heal. It feels really scary to admit that the PhD perhaps isn't going to lead where I thought it was initially, but I do not feel it was a waste. Sorry for rambling, just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey as it helps to know I am not alone!
Aw thank you Laura, I really appreciate this message. Sitting here wondering if I should have posted this video and messages like this also make me feel not so alone! Congratulations on getting to this stage in your PhD, it is a special time and a little bit of a scary time so I wish you the best over the next few weeks.
Love this Ciara ❤ Life is both short and long - too short not to pursue your dreams but (hopefully) long enough so we can experience several different careers and lifestyles - it’s never too late!
I totally agree. I hope you’re able to pursue your dreams too :)
OK. So I cannot tell you how over the moon I am that you posted this video. Firstly because - YOU GO GIRL! Secondly because I am going through almost the exact same thing. I left the world of events 10 years ago because the company I worked for was diabolical. An old client I loved got in touch and asked me to work for her in Scotland last week and I have a complete blast! There’s so many similarities between our stories, right down to the grieving process I’m still trying to navigate having got back to normality last week .. but I am so hopeful and excited for both of us! Can’t wait to come watch you in something soon!! 💜💜💜
Oh my goodness. A kindred spirit! I’m glad to hear that you’re finding your way back to yourself and I hope that you have many similar (and better) experiences in the future xx
I believe in you! You got this!
Aw thank you Rayven
I'm so glad we got a chance to meet at ICCBR in 2022, and thank you for taking the time to share this and for your honesty throughout the entire process of pursuing this. I vibe hard with the realisation that maybe the Ph.D. track didn't lead me to a place where I wanted to end up eventually. I went into academia to learn about music instrument creation (i.e., hardware and software) , and it ended up pulling me further and further away until I became confused about what I wanted in the first place. The path forward is always scary, but glad you're helping create a community of folks who support one another through this process of change and growth! Can't wait to see how you continue to manifest these things for you! 🙌
Aw Michael, so glad to hear from you! How are you getting on? I really appreciated you connecting with me at ICCBR because sometimes I forget that there are real people watching these videos and it's nice to put a face to the faceless void. Are you still working on XAI and creativity?
Such an interesting video. I look forward to seeing how things unfold. 😊
@@missytyrrell1 thanks missy :)
Thank you so much first of all for opening a YT channel and then making a video on this topic which hardly any one touches. There are so many of us going through similar stuff and it feels like we are not alone. 😊
Oh gosh. I didn’t realise how many people were feeling this way. I think there’s just a sense that having spent so much time and money on education we “should” be making the most of it
Hey Ciara, it is really beautiful to see your joy! And see that at your young age you already found how to live in alignment with your passions and desires! Best of luck 🍀❤️
Aw thank you, that’s very kind. I appreciate it and I hope you find some joy too :)
Thanks for sharing your experience! I can definitely relate, as my academic journey has been quite similar. Studying always felt like a safe space for me, but I often felt out of place compared to others who took a more traditional path. I’ve been balancing work and studies since my late teens, and that made me feel like I never fully fit in anywhere. I also used to push aside my creative passions, telling myself they were silly and made me feel too exposed. The “Shadow Artist” chapter in The Artist’s Way really hit home and almost made me consider quitting my PhD to pursue a creative career... Ironically, my research focuses on professional identity and how we often let our work define us ! Now, I’m trying to find a healthier balance by putting my real passions at the forefront and seeing work as something meaningful, but not the core of who I am. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with those who align closely with their work; it’s just that, for me, as someone who’s a people-pleaser, it’s been hard to prioritize what I really want over what others expect of me :)
This paragraph SLAPS. Yes. Yes yes. The shadow artist, I am her. Or at least I was. I thought maybe as a drama teacher or potentially a director I was pursuing the passion but it’s like living vicariously through others. People pleasing is an absolute blight on my life. Im still not quite over it. Professional identity seems like such an interesting area of study. Sometimes I wish I could have just picked a simple career and stuck to it and found a circle in my workplace the way other people seem to. I’m really glad to hear that you’re finding a healthier balance and getting some more time for your own creative endeavours.
@@PhDandProductivity
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I completely agree, and it’s so inspiring that you’ve been able to step into your own as both an artist AND an academic :) And the part about living vicariously through others-yeah, I’m still working on that too. Teaching is a wonderful creative outlet and builds a lot of skills, but it’s definitely not the same as DOING the thing, haha. I think since we often take our work life so seriously and let it shape part of our identity, viewing our art not as a hobby but as legitimate work can help us take ourselves more seriously-if that makes sense. Maybe one day, the actor, sculptor, or dancer might feel like their initial passion has become just “work” (and that’s a whole other topic), but as long as we stay connected to what drew us in and keep finding meaning in what we do, I believe we’re on the right path. It’s all about staying aligned with ourselves. That’s where true fulfillment is found
@@cleverhowever yes it’s one of my big goals next year to make my art my work even if I don’t get paid for it necessarily… more on that when I’ve figured it out more haha! But the hope being it will be what I spend most of my time doing and that I’d have income likely from other endeavours to cover that
Very interesting! I have had a similar experience, changed careers and did a very intensive 3 months away from home training in a new field. I had previous knowledge of this new field, which is why I knew it was the right thing for me, but having such an intense experience really does change your life! Started my own business after that &still loving it!
Aw wow. It's so great to hear from someone with a success story from a big change. Glad to hear it's going well
I don't think I'll ever face that kind of experience, I mean being so passionate about something to achieve the level of expertise. So I've tried several things after I got my degree in Computer Science, that includes pursuing a bachelor's degree in Anthropology which I'm half way through, I think that going to university can be a lonely experience and one can feel like it doesn't belong, to me it's more a manner of my personality, I'm an introvert and often dismissed the importance of interact with people. So like I said I like to try different things and that's why I feel it's never to late to do what you've dreamed of your entire life, I'm so happy that you enjoyed that month doing it and I hope is just the beginning and you get to enjoy performing more often.
Thanks Cris! Are you enjoying the anthropology course? University can definitely be lonely. I'm quite introverted too so I never really expect to make friends or deep meaningful connections with people but actually I'm finding that in the right context I do crave that.
@@PhDandProductivity I do, my favorite subject in high school was Social Studies, but I never pictured myself being a professor for a living, I can't stand repetition lol. And to be honest is hard to make money as an Archaeologist, which is the path Im going to choose (the major I'm coursing makes you choose between that and Social Anthropology). I just checked that your PhD is in CS, what a coincidence. What was your masters and bachelor degrees on?
We are the opposite in a way ❤ I pursued acting putting my master on hold then wrote my thesis on the actor (I think I commented about this in the past). Now I don't dream of being an actor anymore which is wild for me. It's so much pressure about the looks for me and it's so hard to land even small jobs, making connections, having to do stuff you don't believe in, commercials, long hours, lots of waiting around. I just felt like an object.
Now I dream of getting into a PhD program in Japanese aesthetic of the performance 😂 I still love the field, but I think maybe I'll try take voice over courses and hosting my own acting courses. But I want to go for academia for real and just try this route. Maybe I'm gonna drop out as well but I don't care, it's still life experience. Now I'm working a part time job I don't really like but it's kinda easy and the rest of the time I resumed playing piano and I am learning Japanese. It's so hard to understand what we are really meant to do... I wish you the best ❤
I totally get that. I think I am still glad that I didn't choose a career in acting as a younger person because I see the struggles of friends of mine who also might have to take jobs that they don't really believe in. So I'm very thankful now that I can approach it from a place of having choice. I think academia applied to acting and what you're talking about - Japanese aesthetic of the performance - sounds so interesting. I also feel like you know these are SEASONS of life. It's ok to follow one path then choose another then find that same path again whatever happens but I think at the moment there is still a lot of rigidity in people's views of one another and what a "career" means etc.
@@PhDandProductivity totally! I love doing many things in a life, not just one or two... I enjoyed everything so far! Not to mention how the acting training helps me in every field! Now I'm so much better at communicating, putting myself out there, talking to people, being in public... It's like a huge push into the discomfort zone. Everybody should do it. I also learned useful stuff the first year about directing, writing screenplays, editing etc. Being multiversed is very useful nowadays.
How did you become a drama teacher with no formal education? And how do you find the (financial) means to do all of this?
My drama school offers drama teacher training so I have a level 8 (equivalent to bachelor's) diploma in drama teaching. Because it's an outside of school activity here there is no qualification required to offer drama lessons, it would be the same as a kids art class or soccer group for example. I saved a lot for the course - various income over the past few years of running the drama school business, lecturing and content creation.
Hi, excuse me, can we be friend?