There was a baby reindeer not on Netflix before this, it was some type of play or something first I think? She’s seeen that but claims to not have seen the current one
I don't believe for one minute she hasn't seen it and that doesn't even tally up to me. So you're going to sue someone for a programme you haven't watched and people have just told you about? That's BS.
I think because the more you know, the more you realise you don't know, so you're less confident in your beliefs and ideas because you know nothing is 100% certain and everything is so complex
I noticed that quite often, She would say, " I was just joking" or "that was just a joke." This is a common response from a Narcissist that has been called out and is Back Pedaling.
@@jillruben8924Did you know that Richard gave interviews before Baby Reindeer was released and stated that, the part about Martha/Fiona going to prison was fictional. It’s unfortunate that Netflix stated it was a true story and didn’t say, ‘based on’ a true story. Because now, Fiona has a right to sue. No one has found the evidence that she went to prison because it doesn’t exist. I can see Fiona becoming very rich from damages.
@@dreamcatcher3861 people seem really hung up on the "Netflix says it's a true story" part. But Netflix also labels it as a "black comedy drama-thriller" and not a "documentary". Furthermore, while the main character is based on Gadd himself, he uses a fictional name for the character. I think that they would have grounds to argue that people should be able to reasonably deduce from context that the story is not fully a true story and has been dramatized. What Gadd would likely end up having to prove was true was that Harvey had sent an obscene amount of emails and voicemails or otherwise stalked and harassed him. If he can prove that, I don't see it going very well for her.
I don't think the public would be as sympathetic if she was a male stalker. I think both are dangerous and the lack of protection people have from them is terrifying.
For sure. There's research on this bias favoring women in the justice system. I'd say the perception is justifiable in part, though. Men are on average physically stronger than women, so a male stalker of a female victim intuitively presents more of a physical danger than a female stalker of a male victim. However, this is talking about averages. And still, the psychological effects of stalking are grave, no matter the sexes of the people involved.
I don't think Donnie was nice to her because he felt sympathy towards her and was trying to protect himself. I think he was lonely and didn't have much social support. She was providing company, bolstered his ego and gave him emotional support - that's why he was nice to her. I felt sad for both characters.
& the actress who portrayed her.... & Piers Morgan. Uh oh, he gave her a glass of water! Any doubts I had about her character before, after that interview, phew... no doubt now.
My mother is a Martha and she is deadly. She makes people feel sorry for her and then when they say no she becomes abusive to the point where she will attack and seek out in vengeance to destroy a person's life. She finds it enjoyable. You can't feel sorry for people like my mother because she will destroy your life. She would be nice and sweet to new people and try to emasculate my dad and I. He dies mysteriously. She wishes me and my sister harm. There is no stopping her. My father suddenly had his face smashed. She said he keeps falling. Then I found out he was deceased and I wasn't notified. She had my groomer there at his funeral but not her children and grandchildren. They are still useful to her. She talks about betrayal but is best friends with a child groomer and his mother. It's been 2 years and she won't place a grave marker for her husband. She knows exactly what she is doing and she still hasn't forgiven children from when she was in elementary school. My dad wanted to be with her. So that was his choice. She thought I was dead for 10 years and never checked it out to see if it was true. She is a pathological lier and has antisocial personality disorder. Oh she has people do her stalking for her. This means she knows exactly what she is doing. I left and got married at age 21. She hates me for starting a family and buying a house. She has to be in control and when I left she couldn't have that control. I left everything behind. I just wanted out. I live far away and since then I've been very happy. I tried to reconnect with her and she was even more destructive. She can't forgive. She was never a mother. She had me so she could get attention and make friends. I was nothing more than a prop. She told me she had me so I would take care of her and she is controlling. I didn't invite my family to my wedding because they would have destroyed it. My in-laws are pleasant. I got to actually enjoy the holidays. She would always destroy a family event or the holidays. When I was a teen I would come home to baseball bats in the wall, blood, broken furniture and food stuck to the walls. She sits at home and is on the computer stalking people or drives onto private property and damages it. She has never matured. I used to feel sorry for her and gave her chances to change and she is vicious because she like it. It brings her much pleasure.
I felt that this was a fairly weak analysis of the case. He spent the majority of the video recapping the story and only at the 12 and a half minute mark posed a question of some psychological depth asking "Why was she being deceptive?" He then gave some vague answer of how we feel pity for her and ended it with some hackey line about being "wild like reindeer but helpless like a baby", oh boy. There are so many more interesting psychological avenues to discuss here, this one could have used a few rewrites. Dr. Grande's videos are usually above average in quality and depth but this analysis was disappointing.
Maybe a more in depth analysis will come after the whole real life drama has played out and there are more facts. All folk can really do is speculate right now.
This woman claimed that she had a photographic memory but couldn't remember how many phones she owned and how many e-mail accounts she had. I had the impression she had difficulty speaking the truth. IMO.
Classic narc behaviour. They throw out these “I’ll wow them” facts about how unique they are and how you should be mesmerised by their genius. If she really wanted to impress she could have used the update medical term ‘eidetic memory’ 😂😂😂 they all think they’re Sheldon like geniuses, this is known as the Dunning-kreugar effect’… not sure of the spelling there but it’s an absolute mind feck to research!
I loved that part! She really doesn't get how she shot her own story down at that point. To be honest, she should never have gone on TV because she has made it all the more believable that Richard Gadd would have found her believable at first, because that's how she came across initially, then the crack very slowly revealed themselves the more she spoke
@@KimberlyLetsGo agree, I worked as an RN for 40 years in mental health. Personality disordered people like Fiona are impossible to cure unless they gain some insight and ask for help. They are rarely hospitalized unless they are a danger to themselves or others.
Why are people talking about the stalker, and no one is mentioning the rapist?! I am shocked that everyone is obsessed with the stalker and no one is discussing the rapist.
I think the last scene where the bartender gives donny the drink for feree and Donny's look of gratitude and naked need was so well done. It matched the first scene with donnny and the stalker.
I thought it was an exvellent scene because he finally understands how Martha felt that day. When you are down, kindness from a total stranger is profound
I understand two reasons why BABY REINDEER has captured the zeitgeist of the moment: 1) It triggers anxiety about the social network and its intrusion into private life like never before via Facebook, twitter, tiktok, etc.. 2) It effectively delves into the question of identity in this ubiquitous media climate, both what one presents to the world and what is felt inwardly. It's brilliantly done in two acts.
@@joygallavan6790 There have been false allegations made towards someone in the UK, and it has caused quite a stir. A well known TV presenter/author says that people in the industry know who the real Darrien is.
Every single one of Richard Gadd's behaviours in the show (and since) align with somebody who has been deeply and severely traumatised so I 100% believe him. I agree that Netflix didn't do a great job at hiding Martha's identity but Richard Gadd's response urging the public to refrain from finding Martha's true identity could have been for a few reasons: 1. He knows how dangerous she is and wanted to protect the public from potential stalking. 2. A part of him still feels genuinely sorry for her and he didn't want to cause her harm. 3. He did want some form of 'revenge' - although I think it would have been more subconsciously rather than a conscious decision. I genuinely don't believe he made the show purely to 'out' anyone.
Also Gadd has learned that the best way to protect himself and the public is to de-escalate interaction with her. Although making the Netflix show is a huge provocation to Martha , Gadd knows that she thrives on this type of conflict and perception management
While I agree with your statements, I thought to myself while watching the show that I wish he would have had another actor portray his role. I understand the purpose for him to be in it as it's his story and he's an actor however, I felt, as a viewer, he was too close to making it exploitive. Yet, that probably was exactly the 'feels' that he wanted to produce.
@andrewrasmussen True, I can't deny the possibility that Gadd made the show knowing it would out Martha completely. I also have a fourth theory which could be both Netflix and Richard Gadd didn't realise how massive the show would become. I know Netflix is a HUGE platform but nobody knows how well a new show might do until it actually airs. I think the only people who possibly knew about 'Baby Reindeer' and Gadd's story prior to the show were avid UK comedy fans (and possibly Fiona). It's possible Netflix took on the venture because they felt Gadd's story needed to be told as truthfully as possible (even if it ran the risk of Fiona emerging). So many shows on Netflix have become "surprise hits".
@KimberlyLetsGo It's definitely a grey area which is probably why it's sparking so much debate. As exploitative as it could seem (for both those involved and the viewers) I do commend Gadd for re-living the events because he is the true victim and his level of self-awareness shows he knew it was exploitative on some level. Regardless, it is by far the most accurate portrayal of trauma I've ever seen televised.
Gadd is a brilliant story teller. His genius put words to experiences and feelings that are mostly ignored. I hope he wins multiple awards for telling about these experiences.
EXACTLY. Richard took me on a journey through my own traumas and how confusing it all can be. Indeed, nothing is quite black and white, and nothing exists in a vacuum. I can still feel my tears building up when I think about it.
Thank you, Dr. Grande. I found this observation (at 13:00) to be an insightful observation of human nature: "He may not have fully understood why he had pity on her but that was the overriding emotion. Offensive behavior, even if it's stalking, can reveal such a level of pain, anguish, desperation, and sadness that it causes others to feel compassion for the perpetrator."
I don't buy that explanation- in this case, at least. All of Donny's odd, exploitative and pathological behaviour is explained away as "trauma related". He did this or that...because trauma...he fetishized and used her...because trauma. He's just a smol bean with zero agency, ect, etc.🙄 He's an adult with agency who made bad choices, as did his stalker. We like a clear villain and victim in every story because it's simpler. But that's not what went on with those two. It was definitely a dance...by two very messed up adults. If I engaged with my stalker and had "relations" with him, that would be my choice. And one you can't just explain away with "but trauma" like I'm ten years old. It's very different from people who lay down clear boundaries, behave honourably, and still pay with their lives. Imo, The Infantilizing of Richard and the demonizing of Martha is mostly driven by disgust over her appearance. I don't think we're more sympathetic towards women-- rather, we're more sympathetic and willing to explain away the bad behaviour of attractive people.
Dr. Grande, I consider your analysis to be humane and balanced. You precisely avoid pointing out or assuming about the condition of the fictional character or the person who inspired it. You have also been able to understand the narrator and their contradictions. Finally, in your conclusion where you talk about understanding the harm but also the person and their condition, not turning your back on them. It has moved me and made me reflect. Thank you.
Martha is like a Friend I once had, She was a Borderline, Histrionic too, Had to call me constantly, email me, lie ,manipulate etc I finally cut her off, she cost me my job, was jealous of my boyfriend and tried to steal my identity........People are defending her when they dont know the misery these types cause Good on Gadd for highlighting These disturbing Cluster b personality Disorders
She never went to prison, just another reason why people should take this drama with a pinch of salt. All Gadd needed was a little bit of truth to expand on to write a story to sell to Netflix. People are buying this story hook, line and sinker. All it takes is the tiniest bit of truth and people will believe it's all true. It isn't
If this lady is to be believed she has no criminal record & this part of the story was all script license. Like most TV is was BASED on a true story not a sworn in accurate depiction of events.
She lied on the interview because her Facebook posts showed she knew everything about the show, but her lawyer might have told her to omit stuff during the interview
@@TalkingToTheBirds If the account was made before April 2024, chances are it's fake. If the only posts and photos from that profile are from April 2024 and onwards, it's probably fake. There are a few profiles she has made that have posts from 2014 - 2016 which are obviously real. It's not that difficult to discern between a fake and a real profile
30+ years ago I had an adult woman stalk me like this, I was 24, she came into my restaurant when I was a waiter, she misinterpreted my kindness for romantic flirting and she proceeded to stalk me for 6 months in an insane way, which accelerated when I responded angrily to her actions. She would start hiding and trying to follow me home everyday, breaking into my apartment and being angry that I wasn't inside, all types of insanity. I finally got rid of her by using reverse psychology, realizing the more rejected she felt the more obsessed she became. I dropped the anger and became extremely polite, but always busy, she felt seen, and then she disappeared forever.
@@helenhellsbells3170 It was a very delicate maneuvering, but completely effective. It took patience. Both kindness and anger drew her in like a magnet, only total indifferent polite neutrality allowed the stalking energy to dissolve
@@maha77 That's actually a technique dealing with disordered ppl. It's called "grey rock". You remain neutral bc they feed off of your emotions, positive or negative. When there is nothing for them to feed off of, they go find another "supply". Good job
Some have never even met their stalker tho. Obviously, they're neutral bc they haven't had any interaction with them before. I guess, diff kind of stalker?🤷🏼♀️
I do not have pity on Martha/Fiona. All stalkers have issues but all are dangerous in my opinion and most do not and will not seek help instead tormenting and in some cases killing their victims.
Imagine, If every child born into this world, received the level of love, care and attention they needed, what a different world this could be. Its so sad to think just how damaged this world is, and why.
Gadd used poetic license in his movie and I think he had a right to do so. It showed the struggles of comedians and actors who often have a dark side. It showed how intoxicating being given negative attention can be. The big mistake Gadd made was he did not count on internet sleuths and Piers Morgan stalking the "real" Martha, Fiona.
@@donbrown1284 But, who watches a movie, and even if it says it's a true story, believes that poetic license has not been used? I wouldn't watch such a show and think that it is 100% totally accurate.
It’s ironic that the same determined aspects of the mental illness that drives stalkers to continue their harassment long term, is also illustrated in the viewers of Baby Reindeer who decided to hunt down and "expose" the real life people from the show (the stalker and the rapist). That they can’t see that they’re also similarly committing acts of harassment, considering what they’ve just watched, is deeply disturbing. I guess the show attracts like minded individuals who are susceptible to this kind of disordered behaviour.
The scariest outcome of this whole situation is to see how damaging, dysfunctional and invincible the public opinion court really is. It's a reminder that fame is a curse not a blessing.
The take home point to all of this is, if someone obviously lies to you when there’s no benefit to the lies then stay away no matter how lonely you think you are.
In Baby Reindeer...the flawed lead character - Donnie...develops into the same circumstances that Martha suffered...he was penniless, in the bar, with the bart tender paying for his drink. His mind inflating the generosity and cheery chit chat of the bar tender into glorious praise. --Sent from iFone
I just watched clips of the interview last night right before I went to bed. I hadn’t seen the show so I didn’t know much about it. What I did know is that I wanted to hear your take. Here it is bright and early the next day. You rock Dr. Grande 😎
This has happened before: I'm again teaching a class in 15 minutes, but I see that this new video is 14:09; perfect! (And I watched this series the week before last, so its fresh in my mind). Thanks as always, Dr. Grande!
Thanks, Dr Grande for clearing up what the phrase Baby Reindeer meant without me having to search on the internet or subscribe to Netflix. I kept seeing it in headlines and the context didn’t make any sense. I appreciate you!
Very classy and intelligent take on this woman and her actions. It is too easy to dismiss her as evil when she is obviously suffering from serious issues.
Hey Dr. Grande. I would love to see you analyze the behavior of that California superintendent who got fired for bullying students who she thought didn't clap loud or hard enough when her own daughter, a student at the same school, won the MVP for the girls softball team. Nate the lawyer has done a video on it but I want to see what you think is going on with her.
This is an interesting case, especially as I’m in the UK, I’m glad you picked it up. Thank you for the analysis, as your perception is always one of the most accurate and reliable.
On the contrary; I believe it is well-documented that many people identified her before because of her X posts and other social media posts were quoted verbatim in Baby Reindeer. One journalist said it took all of 10 seconds to find her on social media. I don't believe she was left with much choice but to come forward as hr identity had become common knowledge and was, in turn, attracting threats.
I had a stalker exactly like Martha too. Except the girl said she was asexual and insisted we were soul mates. It all started when I befriended her at a social event. She also stalked my friends when trying to get info on me. I confronted her so many times, but she deflected everything and carried on her weird behaviour. Watching BR, he made everything so much worse. You hate to victim blame but he was so DENSE
He was real honest about his part, though. I don't think most people are capable of the sort of self criticism and insight he showed. Whether his motivation was an artist's curiosity about human nature and experience, passivity, codependency, masochism, guilt, need for admiration, or whatever, he owned his faults and learned from it, creating a very watchable series.
@@evelynwaugh4053 Well said. There were times I couldn't believe he went back to his r*pist and stalker, but also appreciated how honest he was about his behaviors. It was just so intriguing that I could not sleep until I watched it til the end.
@@anonymouse6703 Thanks. I was also riveted. It was pretty insightful about unhealthy relationships and how people can essentially volunteer for abuse when in vulnerable states. I was relieved he seemed to move on from that pattern.
It's worth pointing out that in the show it's said that she sent him 106 PAGES, not 106 LETTERS. So theoretically, she could have sent him a single 106 page letter.
1. She's a narcissist. She enjoyed every moment of this interview. 2. The point of changing details wasn't to stop ppl find her, but to give her plenty of plausible deniability. 3. Mentally ill or not, she's evil. She put herself in this situation by stalking in the first place and then going public. I don't feel sorry at all for her.
It must be very difficult for a man who has a stalker to report it to the police. Haven't we learned that men are much less likely to admit to abuse from women than women are likely to admit to being abused by men? He clearly felt sorry for her and initially didn't realize just how dangerously unhinged she could become. He had a great deal of unresolved trauma so its unfair to assume he would react the same way that a person who doesn't have trauma would. I've seen a lot of negative comments towards him. If the genders were reversed and a woman was the victim i don't think the criticism of his decisions would be so harsh.
@@WhatsthedealsquirterHe rejected her. That should have been enough. I had a stalker for years. Rejecting them, repeatedly, doesn't work. Nor does completely ignoring them or change email address and phone number when they live in the same area. Even now, I don't know how I'd deal with a new stalker. They are all different, except for the obsessive stalker trait that makes it impossible to get through to them - sometimes even for licenced psychotherapists. I learned that when I had to seek help myself, to learn how to sleep again after the trauma...
Did you watch the series? The guy liked it and is deranged as I don’t believe anything he says especially when he says this is a true storey and depicts her going to jail when she got no time.koz hes as off in la la land as she is.he probably made this to get her attention as he contany stated he misses her and here she is so.
It's odd that so many people feel "bad" for Fiona (Martha). I believe there is definitely a double standard when it comes to this behaviour. I dont think the sympathetic reaction would come into play if the genders of these two were reversed. If a man went into a bar, started a conversation with a female waitress, sent her emails everyday, followed her around, sat outside her house, etc that it would be looked at the same. People wouldnt feel "bad" for him... they would say he's creepy and dangerous.
It struck me as incredibly strange that Gadd, responsible for the script and playing the main role, also acted out the scene of his own assault. Throughout the series, he portrayed himself as very poor and tormented by everything happening, as if he had no control over the situation he found himself in. I wondered if there might be some aspect of vulnerable narcissism behind it. I had the impression that his entire self-presentation was geared towards garnering sympathy, and in the scene of the assault, I wasn't quite sure what his feelings were. On one hand, telling about it may give him strength because he takes control of the narrative, but on the other hand, I couldn't fully understand what he was trying to achieve by it.
The guy played himself and made a bag out of it. Come on. The woman is unstable but he was enjoying it and turned the event into making himself a celebrity. He's so traumatized he used his acting background to play himself
I think RG and Fiona are both unhinged liars to be honest. I think RG is ALOT more clever than Fiona and ALOT more manipulative. I don’t believe either of them I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Did you watch the show? He is very critical of himself & even comes off unsympathetic in many of his actions which lead to leading Martha on & also not telling the police the truth. We felt sorry for him but also angry at him as viewers. Plus it started as a one man show & Netflix picked it up. They probably wanted him to play the main role. And it made the s3xual assault scene more real & brutal & show us that s3xual assault of men are trivialize. There was no way the viewer could trivialize it seeing him reliving that. I do believe that most ppl who want fame are probably higher on the narc scale than the the average person.
@@welsh.truth.dragon3914 100% agree!....Like Gadd didn't KNOW that this WOULD inflate things....pair of sickos!...They should marry and have lots of little stalkers!🇦🇺😂
I had a stalker, a man, but less dangerous than the character of Martha. We went on one super casual date. We didn't work and I said I'm down to be friends. Well, he followed me across state lines (I didn't post anything about the trip) and he spraypainted my name and number all over the city. literally covering the front of a grocery store and the doors. My name is very unique, even in a big city. So. Eventually I went to the police. Two or three times actually. The last time I went was after he literally confessed to it over text. I had proof of the incidents and everything plus his confession and the cops said "well, what do you want us to do about it" it's the same response I got when I tried to file an SA against someone, and when I had to call during a DV crisis. I had to go to the hospital and still, they said no one will believe you anyway. Why? idk. All across the US, cops are like this. Useless. They don't keep us safe, WE keep us safe.
The stalker outed herself whereas the rapist didn't. The rapist character MIGHT have been entirely made up - the trans character and many other elements of the show were completely fictional.
@@derkeheath5172 Yet, at the beginning of every episode, I hear, they say, "This is a true story." Legally, that means something. She did the interview, because she was being harassed by people who sussed her out, and she's greedy.
They made a whole series about her and she wants us to think that she didn’t watch it. How does she even know how exactly she is depicted if she didn’t watch it? Lol
I haven’t watched it and I know about. Trailers, RUclips reviews, people messaging her, memes, friends and family who have watched it telling her. Not saying she didn’t watch it but it’s easy to get information without watching it, especially when it’s so big and controversial
@@brumtownmiller6130 That's very true! However, if she's going to sue a major company you would think she'd have watched the series and not relied on outside sources for her information.
@@EricaH329 she can get her lawyers to do that. Aslong as she knows the show has said Atleast 1 lie about her, she can sue and get her lawyer to deal with any other allegations against her. Personally I would watch it if it was me
@@brumtownmiller6130 That may be true, but without watching the series herself how can she make the claims that it's false? Even to go as far as saying she's going to sue? Does she just assume they're false? Is she relying on what others are saying? It seems silly to me to jump to assumptions when she could simply watch the series and find out for herself.
@@EricaH329 she might intend on using Prince Harry's method in Court... she'll say "I don't know how I was represented in the show, but I FEEL that I've been misrepresented."
@@mamabeartrue420 the only verifiable fact available so far is that she has no criminal record. Netflix said for a 100% fact that she did but she does not. They haven’t produced the email, voicemails or texts to refute her claims but at this point they could. She has a dead bang lawsuit and I am guessing right now someone in Netflix’s legal department is getting fired.
There is only one verifiable fact in this whole debacle and that is Fiona never went to prison. Gadd and Netflix claim she has been to prison for stalking two times but can’t provide any evidence and neither can anyone else.
@@LindaKayHolevas it is impossible to prove a negative. But her criminal record has been checked into by multiple journalists and nothings has come up. So this proves one of two things; either the British government is incredibly inept at keeping records or she has never been to prison.
Your take is always my opinion if I’m forced to contribute in topical matters at work. I haven’t watched the series or the surrounding drama just thought I will patiently wait for the horses mouth, so to speak. Thanks for taking the time to ensure I’m not a total outcast on days I’m forced to attend the office Dr G.. you never let me down. ❤
I wounder would people be as sympathetic towards a male stalker behaving as she did? I think she gains more sympathy for the fact she is female. Thank you again Dr.Grande for a great video
What people fail to mention is that there are REAL PEOPLE LIKE HER. I watched it with that in mind. Disturbing but entertaining. She did not sound convincing in the interview.
I had a stalker, a man, but less dangerous. went on one super casual date. We didn't work and I said I'm down to be friends. Well, he followed me across state lines (I didn't post anything about the trip) and he spraypainted my name and number all over the city. literally covering the front of a grocery store and the doors. My name is very unique, even in a big city. So. Eventually I went to the police. Two or three times actually. The last time I went was after he literally confessed to it over text. I had proof of the incidents and everything plus his confession and the cops said "well, what do you want us to do about it" it's the same response I got when I tried to file an SA against someone, and when I had to call during a DV crisis. I had to go to the hospital and still, they said no one will believe you anyway. Why? idk. All across the US, cops are like this. Useless. They don't keep us safe, WE keep us safe.
It would be a worthwhile investment to see a competent therapist to look at any unhealthy patterns in yourself. Unclairity of motives and lack of boundaries can attract dangerous people that won't go away.
So true. I’m currently healing from an extremely abusive relationship, and realizing I need to learn more about codependency. Thx for your coverage Dr G ❤
@@stewarln52284 I understand. I highly recommend listening to Dr. Ramani, The Enlightened Target and Dr. Less Carter. Sensitive, kind, caring and helpful people are the preferred Targets of Narscissts. Also on YT is a poor quality but very great info video on Assertiveness Training. It's so painful to go through. I wish you healing.
Wow! Very well said! I especially love the ending of your video! This brings me so much clarity and I feel heard, seen, and validated. I kept feeling sorry for them, right from day one of meeting them! We need more videos like this and we need more movies like Baby Reindeer! The world needs to be more aware of this type of personality/character disorder. Thank you so much for this video! 💕👍🙏
Watched the interview last night. Can't believe I can't find anything online about whether she actually has a criminal record. All I can find are articles repeating her claims. Internet, do ya job! 😜
This is the inherent danger of making true stories. Once they are out there, it is out of the creators hands. I would never condone her alleged behaviour. I also cannot condone Piers Morgans " journalism"
They fictionalized it and used a different name for the character, nobody would know it was her being portrayed if she didn't come out and tell everyone.
OMG. Thank you for putting a little bit of "order" to this bizarre situation! I watched some of the Piers Morgan interview but not all of it. I always appreciate your calm demeanor! 🌟🌟🌟
As a victim of a stalker I believe she terrorized him. Even if she didn't go to jail, she caused harm. Poetic license be damned, this woman is dangerous.
I have found this an informative video, as are all your videos. I love the manner that you project when discussing each case. You have a dry sense of humour which appeals to me. Thank you.
Great analysis. I agree, you felt sorry for Martha in the programme and also fiona in the interview. In the interview she trips herself up so many times. The best being when she claimed to have a photographic memory but couldn't remember her law grades.
Right there with you, my sister is a pathological liar and when I was younger I believed her outlandish stories. As I got older I was really just kind of impressed by her stupidity. I mean for example, during my kpop boyband phase, she lied and said she saw a group of Korean transfer student guys at her work and that they were oh so cute and charming, flirtatious, etc… She worked at a bealls in the middle of nowhere Florida, surely she had to know somewhere inside that even if a group of hot Korean boys were in Florida, they wouldn’t go AS A GROUP to HER BEALLS to flirt with HER. she’s told even more embarrassing outlandish lies, my other siblings and I have taken to poking the air and saying boop to signal to eachother when her story goes from real to fictional.
Years ago one English teacher said to write about things we have experience in otherwise the story is dull. I think Donnie telling his story with all the difficult details is what finally made him produce something interesting. It has also brought a lot of discussion and awareness which is needed
Loved the outro. I feel that way about any kind of over the top mental illness that can derail a person’s life and drive others away. Despite all the pain that can bring, at the of the day no one chooses to be that way.
Dr. G ,Thank you! Getting caught up after a long week - great analysis, and now I know what not to allocate some hours of my life to watching NF this month! Have a great weekend!
No, she denied the Netflix version of the conviction and prison sentence. Journalists can usually find this information and yet no-one has. I think that she's taking this forward as a defamation claim against Netflix, and if she is correct about it, Netflix will face a massive damages action. I suspect, if Netflix failed to properly research the facts, there will be a very, very large out of court settlement.
I don't even know what to believe anymore- I feel like Fiona (if she is the real Martha) is definitely lying in the interview but then again, I feel like there is something off about Richard and Netflix... I feel like they are all as bad as each other!! I mean surely there's sufficient legal evidence to support this?? I don't really see why this is so unaccessible to the public considering the popularity of the show and the case it's based on.. I don't know why we are psychoanalysing people when there is actual solid evidence out there which could give us all answers?
Give all the awards to the actress who played the real-life stalker - her portrayal is STUNNING
Both their performances were utterly superb. I watched the entire series again almost as soon as I finished it.
She’s amazing and gorgeous. I hope she gets even more success!
Agreed
@@samgoldbloom9882is it disturbing to watch???
The fact that she’s mentioning suing and she “hasn’t watched the show” is one of the most revealing parts to me
There was a baby reindeer not on Netflix before this, it was some type of play or something first I think? She’s seeen that but claims to not have seen the current one
@@trussell7488 right! The fact she says to be considering it and hasn’t even watched it
@@trussell7488 yet knows so much about it
I don't believe for one minute she hasn't seen it and that doesn't even tally up to me. So you're going to sue someone for a programme you haven't watched and people have just told you about? That's BS.
Right though 💀💀💀
Why are some of the strangest, silliest people confident and egocentric, while normal people are filled with self doubt and guilt?
Must be some coping mechanism
Because negative emotions like self doubt, guilt, shame etc. aren't intrinsically all bad. They are a necessary part of being a healthy, good person.
Exactly. It helps you to better yourself.
I think because the more you know, the more you realise you don't know, so you're less confident in your beliefs and ideas because you know nothing is 100% certain and everything is so complex
Ah! The eternal question!
I heard Piers Morgan woke up at 3am this morning with Fiona stood at the end of his bed, smiling.
With a Chuckee doll in one hand and a knife in the other ;)
😂😂😂😂😂
Misery
@@Ann-sj4pt YESSSSS!!!! Kathy Bates aka Annie Wilkes VIBES😨😨😨😨😨😨
He then asked her “ Do u condemn Hamas!”😅
I noticed that quite often, She would say, " I was just joking" or "that was just a joke."
This is a common response from a Narcissist that has been called out and is Back Pedaling.
yep
She strikes me as the covert narcissist type
Or they’re just a humor-centric person. She’s a delusional narcissist yes, but not all people that joke a lot are narcissists
That's what my abusive ex used to say ,I was just playing or it was a joke .
My ex. as well. I feel like I have a Degree in Narcissistiism that I didn't ask for.
I found the real Martha/Fiona to be much more unsympathetic than Gadd's fictional version of her.
Me too. Martha was pathos/rage/vulnerability/grandiosity while Fiona lacked the vulnerability and pathos elements.
Totally. She comes across as a very bitter and a liar. Proof is there.
@@jillruben8924Did you know that Richard gave interviews before Baby Reindeer was released and stated that, the part about Martha/Fiona going to prison was fictional. It’s unfortunate that Netflix stated it was a true story and didn’t say, ‘based on’ a true story. Because now, Fiona has a right to sue. No one has found the evidence that she went to prison because it doesn’t exist. I can see Fiona becoming very rich from damages.
I hope she does, I think the guy is bluffing on the drama and just slandered her in short form streaming series form @@dreamcatcher3861
@@dreamcatcher3861 people seem really hung up on the "Netflix says it's a true story" part. But Netflix also labels it as a "black comedy drama-thriller" and not a "documentary". Furthermore, while the main character is based on Gadd himself, he uses a fictional name for the character. I think that they would have grounds to argue that people should be able to reasonably deduce from context that the story is not fully a true story and has been dramatized. What Gadd would likely end up having to prove was true was that Harvey had sent an obscene amount of emails and voicemails or otherwise stalked and harassed him. If he can prove that, I don't see it going very well for her.
I don't think the public would be as sympathetic if she was a male stalker. I think both are dangerous and the lack of protection people have from them is terrifying.
I don’t think many people are that sympathetic to her…just look at these comments and the ones on the video.
If she was pretty and with a hot body I'd bet people would be way more sympathetic towards her
Females wouldn't encourage the stalking the way the Donny character did. I know my "spidy sense" would be activated immediately.
Most people don't seem to be sympathetic towards her. She was getting unaliving threats, that doesn't sound sympathetic.
For sure. There's research on this bias favoring women in the justice system. I'd say the perception is justifiable in part, though. Men are on average physically stronger than women, so a male stalker of a female victim intuitively presents more of a physical danger than a female stalker of a male victim. However, this is talking about averages. And still, the psychological effects of stalking are grave, no matter the sexes of the people involved.
I don't think Donnie was nice to her because he felt sympathy towards her and was trying to protect himself. I think he was lonely and didn't have much social support. She was providing company, bolstered his ego and gave him emotional support - that's why he was nice to her. I felt sad for both characters.
I think you’re absolutely right
💯
True but he seemed to feel sorry for her at first but yeah she helped him feel better about himself
You'd feel a lot less sad if one of these stalkers came after you.
i wonder which of the four women commenting here are so lonely they are ready to be stalked! seemingly they are talking about their own experience.
She said it’s impossible for her to do all of the letter writing and email yet she wrote 75+ Facebook posts over 24 hours
Can these Facebook posts be found? Would be interesting to see them
And The Emmy for Best Casting Director goes to...
Baby Reindeer
Absolutely! I was blown away by Jessica dubbing’s performance
No kidding.
Richard Gadd chose the actress apparently.
emmy oscar everything lol
Evidently the guy who plays Donny is the real life man, Richard? Very interesting and unusual.
For not knowing anything about Richard, she sure knows a lot about Richard.
& the actress who portrayed her.... & Piers Morgan. Uh oh, he gave her a glass of water! Any doubts I had about her character before, after that interview, phew... no doubt now.
🎯🎯🎯
1st thing I said when I watched the interview. She knows way too much about a person she barely knew.
My mother is a Martha and she is deadly. She makes people feel sorry for her and then when they say no she becomes abusive to the point where she will attack and seek out in vengeance to destroy a person's life. She finds it enjoyable. You can't feel sorry for people like my mother because she will destroy your life. She would be nice and sweet to new people and try to emasculate my dad and I. He dies mysteriously. She wishes me and my sister harm. There is no stopping her. My father suddenly had his face smashed. She said he keeps falling. Then I found out he was deceased and I wasn't notified. She had my groomer there at his funeral but not her children and grandchildren. They are still useful to her. She talks about betrayal but is best friends with a child groomer and his mother. It's been 2 years and she won't place a grave marker for her husband. She knows exactly what she is doing and she still hasn't forgiven children from when she was in elementary school. My dad wanted to be with her. So that was his choice. She thought I was dead for 10 years and never checked it out to see if it was true. She is a pathological lier and has antisocial personality disorder. Oh she has people do her stalking for her. This means she knows exactly what she is doing. I left and got married at age 21. She hates me for starting a family and buying a house. She has to be in control and when I left she couldn't have that control. I left everything behind. I just wanted out. I live far away and since then I've been very happy. I tried to reconnect with her and she was even more destructive. She can't forgive. She was never a mother. She had me so she could get attention and make friends. I was nothing more than a prop. She told me she had me so I would take care of her and she is controlling. I didn't invite my family to my wedding because they would have destroyed it. My in-laws are pleasant. I got to actually enjoy the holidays. She would always destroy a family event or the holidays. When I was a teen I would come home to baseball bats in the wall, blood, broken furniture and food stuck to the walls. She sits at home and is on the computer stalking people or drives onto private property and damages it. She has never matured. I used to feel sorry for her and gave her chances to change and she is vicious because she like it. It brings her much pleasure.
5/14/24 I’m sure she now knows just as much about Piers (watch out)!
'I don’t think, I sent him anything '
SEnT fOm iPhoN
Lol
😂😂😂
😂
😂😂😂
Lol!!!
As soon as I finished baby reindeer I’ve been waiting patiently for Dr. Grande to speculate about a case like this
Don't wait for him to diagnose anyone in the video though because he won't be doing that 🌝
I felt that this was a fairly weak analysis of the case. He spent the majority of the video recapping the story and only at the 12 and a half minute mark posed a question of some psychological depth asking "Why was she being deceptive?"
He then gave some vague answer of how we feel pity for her and ended it with some hackey line about being "wild like reindeer but helpless like a baby", oh boy. There are so many more interesting psychological avenues to discuss here, this one could have used a few rewrites. Dr. Grande's videos are usually above average in quality and depth but this analysis was disappointing.
@@nloc1929 Couldn't agree more! There was so much more to discuss. Disappointing indeed.
He probably doesn’t want to be sued by Martha.
Maybe a more in depth analysis will come after the whole real life drama has played out and there are more facts.
All folk can really do is speculate right now.
This woman claimed that she had a photographic memory but couldn't remember how many phones she owned and how many e-mail accounts she had. I had the impression she had difficulty speaking the truth. IMO.
Classic narc behaviour. They throw out these “I’ll wow them” facts about how unique they are and how you should be mesmerised by their genius. If she really wanted to impress she could have used the update medical term ‘eidetic memory’ 😂😂😂 they all think they’re Sheldon like geniuses, this is known as the Dunning-kreugar effect’… not sure of the spelling there but it’s an absolute mind feck to research!
I loved that part! She really doesn't get how she shot her own story down at that point. To be honest, she should never have gone on TV because she has made it all the more believable that Richard Gadd would have found her believable at first, because that's how she came across initially, then the crack very slowly revealed themselves the more she spoke
what gave it away for me was when she slips ad hominem to Richard as she narrates what happens LMAO
Yes unlogical
Ahhhhh good catch!
I think she revealed herself in the interview with Pierce. She needs help.
She's chronic and there's nothing anyone can do to stop her.
@@KimberlyLetsGo agree, I worked as an RN for 40 years in mental health. Personality disordered people like Fiona are impossible to cure unless they gain some insight and ask for help. They are rarely hospitalized unless they are a danger to themselves or others.
Agree, she shouldn't have been allowed to expose herself like that. 😏
Not everything can be "helped". You have to have some self awareness for that.
Yep she does
Why are people talking about the stalker, and no one is mentioning the rapist?! I am shocked that everyone is obsessed with the stalker and no one is discussing the rapist.
I agree. But apparently the rapist is a sort of well-known person.
Hardly be a rape case when u keep going back for more
@@PhilomenaHogan🤡
I think he was the real villain of the story.
A combination of that guy's power and what you said@@PhilomenaHogan
I think the last scene where the bartender gives donny the drink for feree and Donny's look of gratitude and naked need was so well done. It matched the first scene with donnny and the stalker.
I thought it was an exvellent scene because he finally understands how Martha felt that day. When you are down, kindness from a total stranger is profound
In dramatic terms, it was a device called “closing the circle”.
I understand two reasons why BABY REINDEER has captured the zeitgeist of the moment: 1) It triggers anxiety about the social network and its intrusion into private life like never before via Facebook, twitter, tiktok, etc.. 2) It effectively delves into the question of identity in this ubiquitous media climate, both what one presents to the world and what is felt inwardly. It's brilliantly done in two acts.
Everyone talking about Martha, while Darien lurks in the shadows laughing.
I mean Darien didn't leave evidence of his crimes in public spaces........
True, it seems like he was even worse.
that the way with the rich and powerful,its look quite likely to be a very well know person, Who we dont know and any proof could be Doctored
@@joygallavan6790 There have been false allegations made towards someone in the UK, and it has caused quite a stir. A well known TV presenter/author says that people in the industry know who the real Darrien is.
Seriously!! Who tf is he in real life?!
Fiona: I’m no stalker!
Dr. Grande: I mean…
Watch Deception Detective
@@crizzy8373 or The Behavior Panel
@@crizzy8373where can you watch it??
Every single one of Richard Gadd's behaviours in the show (and since) align with somebody who has been deeply and severely traumatised so I 100% believe him. I agree that Netflix didn't do a great job at hiding Martha's identity but Richard Gadd's response urging the public to refrain from finding Martha's true identity could have been for a few reasons: 1. He knows how dangerous she is and wanted to protect the public from potential stalking. 2. A part of him still feels genuinely sorry for her and he didn't want to cause her harm. 3. He did want some form of 'revenge' - although I think it would have been more subconsciously rather than a conscious decision. I genuinely don't believe he made the show purely to 'out' anyone.
Also Gadd has learned that the best way to protect himself and the public is to de-escalate interaction with her. Although making the Netflix show is a huge provocation to Martha , Gadd knows that she thrives on this type of conflict and perception management
While I agree with your statements, I thought to myself while watching the show that I wish he would have had another actor portray his role. I understand the purpose for him to be in it as it's his story and he's an actor however, I felt, as a viewer, he was too close to making it exploitive. Yet, that probably was exactly the 'feels' that he wanted to produce.
@andrewrasmussen True, I can't deny the possibility that Gadd made the show knowing it would out Martha completely. I also have a fourth theory which could be both Netflix and Richard Gadd didn't realise how massive the show would become. I know Netflix is a HUGE platform but nobody knows how well a new show might do until it actually airs. I think the only people who possibly knew about 'Baby Reindeer' and Gadd's story prior to the show were avid UK comedy fans (and possibly Fiona). It's possible Netflix took on the venture because they felt Gadd's story needed to be told as truthfully as possible (even if it ran the risk of Fiona emerging). So many shows on Netflix have become "surprise hits".
@KimberlyLetsGo It's definitely a grey area which is probably why it's sparking so much debate. As exploitative as it could seem (for both those involved and the viewers) I do commend Gadd for re-living the events because he is the true victim and his level of self-awareness shows he knew it was exploitative on some level. Regardless, it is by far the most accurate portrayal of trauma I've ever seen televised.
Gadd is a brilliant story teller. His genius put words to experiences and feelings that are mostly ignored. I hope he wins multiple awards for telling about these experiences.
EXACTLY. Richard took me on a journey through my own traumas and how confusing it all can be. Indeed, nothing is quite black and white, and nothing exists in a vacuum. I can still feel my tears building up when I think about it.
I was horrified and couldn't turn it off, I agree he is a good story teller.
I has a stalker years ago and even though it was triggering at times, the story was so layered and mesmerising I couldn’t stop watching 😅
Thank you, Dr. Grande. I found this observation (at 13:00) to be an insightful observation of human nature: "He may not have fully understood why he had pity on her but that was the overriding emotion. Offensive behavior, even if it's stalking, can reveal such a level of pain, anguish, desperation, and sadness that it causes others to feel compassion for the perpetrator."
I don't buy that explanation- in this case, at least.
All of Donny's odd, exploitative and pathological behaviour is explained away as "trauma related". He did this or that...because trauma...he fetishized and used her...because trauma. He's just a smol bean with zero agency, ect, etc.🙄
He's an adult with agency who made bad choices, as did his stalker. We like a clear villain and victim in every story because it's simpler. But that's not what went on with those two. It was definitely a dance...by two very messed up adults.
If I engaged with my stalker and had "relations" with him, that would be my choice. And one you can't just explain away with "but trauma" like I'm ten years old.
It's very different from people who lay down clear boundaries, behave honourably, and still pay with their lives. Imo, The Infantilizing of Richard and the demonizing of Martha is mostly driven by disgust over her appearance.
I don't think we're more sympathetic towards women-- rather, we're more sympathetic and willing to explain away the bad behaviour of attractive people.
Dr. Grande, I consider your analysis to be humane and balanced. You precisely avoid pointing out or assuming about the condition of the fictional character or the person who inspired it. You have also been able to understand the narrator and their contradictions. Finally, in your conclusion where you talk about understanding the harm but also the person and their condition, not turning your back on them. It has moved me and made me reflect. Thank you.
Quality comment here! ✨💯
Yes a thoughtfully fair comment 🎉
Martha is like a Friend I once had,
She was a Borderline, Histrionic too,
Had to call me constantly, email me, lie ,manipulate etc
I finally cut her off, she cost me my job, was jealous of my boyfriend and tried to steal my identity........People are defending her when they dont know the misery these types cause
Good on Gadd for highlighting
These disturbing Cluster b personality Disorders
the the the the
I agree! Sorry you had to go through that. I went through a similar situation myself. They turn the victim into the perpetrator.
@cyndeewenzel6439 thanks yes ,I don't trust easily now.....I take my time getting to know People,I'm a magnet for these types unfortunately
“She was sentenced to 9 months in prison, and Donnie never saw her again…”
She just became better at stalking lol.
she was never sentenced to prison or charged with anything tho in real life
She never went to prison, just another reason why people should take this drama with a pinch of salt. All Gadd needed was a little bit of truth to expand on to write a story to sell to Netflix. People are buying this story hook, line and sinker. All it takes is the tiniest bit of truth and people will believe it's all true. It isn't
If this lady is to be believed she has no criminal record & this part of the story was all script license. Like most TV is was BASED on a true story not a sworn in accurate depiction of events.
@@oliverxhmll And you know that how, because she said so?
@@rosierose5996 There is a difference here, this series a true story, in difference to BASED on a true story which gives you more artistic freedom.
She lied on the interview because her Facebook posts showed she knew everything about the show, but her lawyer might have told her to omit stuff during the interview
she said she didnt watch it but she might've read about the episodes
How do you know for sure which Facebook is hers with all the copycats and trolls out there?
@@TalkingToTheBirds If the account was made before April 2024, chances are it's fake.
If the only posts and photos from that profile are from April 2024 and onwards, it's probably fake.
There are a few profiles she has made that have posts from 2014 - 2016 which are obviously real. It's not that difficult to discern between a fake and a real profile
In sorry but is the contention that she sexually assaulted and stalked him or that she watched the show?
She is a pathological lier.. she needs help not to be crucified...
30+ years ago I had an adult woman stalk me like this, I was 24, she came into my restaurant when I was a waiter, she misinterpreted my kindness for romantic flirting and she proceeded to stalk me for 6 months in an insane way, which accelerated when I responded angrily to her actions. She would start hiding and trying to follow me home everyday, breaking into my apartment and being angry that I wasn't inside, all types of insanity. I finally got rid of her by using reverse psychology, realizing the more rejected she felt the more obsessed she became. I dropped the anger and became extremely polite, but always busy, she felt seen, and then she disappeared forever.
Sounds like you got lucky 😢 i would have assumed that wouldn't work.
@@helenhellsbells3170 It was a very delicate maneuvering, but completely effective. It took patience. Both kindness and anger drew her in like a magnet, only total indifferent polite neutrality allowed the stalking energy to dissolve
@@maha77 That's actually a technique dealing with disordered ppl. It's called "grey rock". You remain neutral bc they feed off of your emotions, positive or negative. When there is nothing for them to feed off of, they go find another "supply". Good job
Some have never even met their stalker tho. Obviously, they're neutral bc they haven't had any interaction with them before.
I guess, diff kind of stalker?🤷🏼♀️
Her eyes were so dead . That was the first thing I noticed with her
Yes! Completely vacant expression.
Right? I noticed that right away.
I do not have pity on Martha/Fiona. All stalkers have issues but all are dangerous in my opinion and most do not and will not seek help instead tormenting and in some cases killing their victims.
Imagine, If every child born into this world, received the level of love, care and attention they needed, what a different world this could be. Its so sad to think just how damaged this world is, and why.
Gadd used poetic license in his movie and I think he had a right to do so. It showed the struggles of comedians and actors who often have a dark side. It showed how intoxicating being given negative attention can be. The big mistake Gadd made was he did not count on internet sleuths and Piers Morgan stalking the "real" Martha, Fiona.
Correct, but the error might be in labeling the drama a "true story" rather than "based on a true story". It might cost Netflix.
@@donbrown1284 But, who watches a movie, and even if it says it's a true story, believes that poetic license has not been used? I wouldn't watch such a show and think that it is 100% totally accurate.
@@donbrown1284I've been wondering why they wouldn't have said "based on true events" instead of "this is a true story"
@@KimberlyLetsGo Legally, it makes a difference how it's labeled.
@@donbrown1284 Can you share what that difference within the legalities?
It’s ironic that the same determined aspects of the mental illness that drives stalkers to continue their harassment long term, is also illustrated in the viewers of Baby Reindeer who decided to hunt down and "expose" the real life people from the show (the stalker and the rapist). That they can’t see that they’re also similarly committing acts of harassment, considering what they’ve just watched, is deeply disturbing. I guess the show attracts like minded individuals who are susceptible to this kind of disordered behaviour.
Richard Gadd keeps telling, practically begging, people to stop! And they will not.
The more things change, the more they stay the same, it seems.
The scariest outcome of this whole situation is to see how damaging, dysfunctional and invincible the public opinion court really is. It's a reminder that fame is a curse not a blessing.
The whole time i was watching the show i kept thinking, what would Dr. Grande say about this. Lol. You never disappoint.
Sent on my ipohne
😂😂😂
The take home point to all of this is, if someone obviously lies to you when there’s no benefit to the lies then stay away no matter how lonely you think you are.
Had it not been for the bizarre Tweets she made, I would've thought the series was exaggerating.
In Baby Reindeer...the flawed lead character - Donnie...develops into the same circumstances that Martha suffered...he was penniless, in the bar, with the bart tender paying for his drink. His mind inflating the generosity and cheery chit chat of the bar tender into glorious praise.
--Sent from iFone
I don’t believe for a second she didn’t watch it. Her mental issues means she can’t help herself.
She has the worst photographic memory in living history😅
Out of negatives!
😂
"She represents ALL 5 stalker types."
Fiona: "nobody appreciates my versatility and commitment"
I just watched clips of the interview last night right before I went to bed. I hadn’t seen the show so I didn’t know much about it. What I did know is that I wanted to hear your take. Here it is bright and early the next day. You rock Dr. Grande 😎
Exactly the same. I spent an hour refreshing my you tube feed before bed.x
This has happened before: I'm again teaching a class in 15 minutes, but I see that this new video is 14:09; perfect! (And I watched this series the week before last, so its fresh in my mind). Thanks as always, Dr. Grande!
Quite ironic really a stalker now being stalked albeit by social media
I have to wonder if that was not the ultimate plan by the author...
Thanks, Dr Grande for clearing up what the phrase Baby Reindeer meant without me having to search on the internet or subscribe to Netflix. I kept seeing it in headlines and the context didn’t make any sense. I appreciate you!
She had called him a baby reindeer because of her toy which comforted her in her (probably horrible) childhood.
Wishing a happy, Happy Mother's Day to Mrs. Grande and a great weekend to Dr. and Mrs. Grande!!! 🙌♥️💐
Very classy and intelligent take on this woman and her actions. It is too easy to dismiss her as evil when she is obviously suffering from serious issues.
Hey Dr. Grande. I would love to see you analyze the behavior of that California superintendent who got fired for bullying students who she thought didn't clap loud or hard enough when her own daughter, a student at the same school, won the MVP for the girls softball team. Nate the lawyer has done a video on it but I want to see what you think is going on with her.
I love Nate's channel. He cover's some interesting cases
@@Reading_the_comments me too!
@@Reading_the_commentsme three 😁
Baby Reindeer is the scariest thing I've ever watched.
Really? I’ve only watched four episodes so far. Ep 4 was really bizarre. Are you saying it gets worst?
The whole series made me uncomfortable but I won't spoil anything @grumpyoldlady_rants
@@grumpyoldlady_rants hell no episode four was the worst by far. It’s an easier watch from the stuff with Darien.
@@grumpyoldlady_rants It gets worse.
You havent seen very many things then. Watch the documentary Lover, Stalker, Killer. Makes this story look like barbie
This is an interesting case, especially as I’m in the UK, I’m glad you picked it up. Thank you for the analysis, as your perception is always one of the most accurate and reliable.
If she didn't come forward, no one would have known it was her.
On the contrary; I believe it is well-documented that many people identified her before because of her X posts and other social media posts were quoted verbatim in Baby Reindeer. One journalist said it took all of 10 seconds to find her on social media. I don't believe she was left with much choice but to come forward as hr identity had become common knowledge and was, in turn, attracting threats.
Or cared
People in that area certainly know who it is - and it's her.
I had a stalker exactly like Martha too. Except the girl said she was asexual and insisted we were soul mates. It all started when I befriended her at a social event. She also stalked my friends when trying to get info on me. I confronted her so many times, but she deflected everything and carried on her weird behaviour.
Watching BR, he made everything so much worse. You hate to victim blame but he was so DENSE
I don't believe in all this soulmate stuff however, if it's true, BOTH people must feel they are each other's soulmate. LOL
Im sorry to hear that man. Gadd was brave for sharing his story. Women typically get away with this abuse more than men do.
He was real honest about his part, though. I don't think most people are capable of the sort of self criticism and insight he showed. Whether his motivation was an artist's curiosity about human nature and experience, passivity, codependency, masochism, guilt, need for admiration, or whatever, he owned his faults and learned from it, creating a very watchable series.
@@evelynwaugh4053 Well said. There were times I couldn't believe he went back to his r*pist and stalker, but also appreciated how honest he was about his behaviors. It was just so intriguing that I could not sleep until I watched it til the end.
@@anonymouse6703 Thanks. I was also riveted. It was pretty insightful about unhealthy relationships and how people can essentially volunteer for abuse when in vulnerable states. I was relieved he seemed to move on from that pattern.
Hi Dr Grande, excellent analysis. As always I learn something new from your videos.
It's worth pointing out that in the show it's said that she sent him 106 PAGES, not 106 LETTERS. So theoretically, she could have sent him a single 106 page letter.
Hahaha omg 😂
Equally nuts!
Is this comment for comedic effect? I don't get it otherwise, it seems redundant.
The Letter could have been just 1 paragraph too.
@@redleeks6253 lol a paragraph that went on for 106 pages 🤣
1. She's a narcissist. She enjoyed every moment of this interview.
2. The point of changing details wasn't to stop ppl find her, but to give her plenty of plausible deniability.
3. Mentally ill or not, she's evil. She put herself in this situation by stalking in the first place and then going public. I don't feel sorry at all for her.
Thank you for the frequent posting Doctor Grande! Made my day again! ❤
It must be very difficult for a man who has a stalker to report it to the police. Haven't we learned that men are much less likely to admit to abuse from women than women are likely to admit to being abused by men? He clearly felt sorry for her and initially didn't realize just how dangerously unhinged she could become. He had a great deal of unresolved trauma so its unfair to assume he would react the same way that a person who doesn't have trauma would. I've seen a lot of negative comments towards him. If the genders were reversed and a woman was the victim i don't think the criticism of his decisions would be so harsh.
Yes I agree. Off topic but I have to say something....Your lil' dog in your pic is adorable BTW :)
@@Heidi_137 thank you! She is a clear red miniature pincher.
@@WhatsthedealsquirterHe rejected her. That should have been enough. I had a stalker for years. Rejecting them, repeatedly, doesn't work. Nor does completely ignoring them or change email address and phone number when they live in the same area. Even now, I don't know how I'd deal with a new stalker. They are all different, except for the obsessive stalker trait that makes it impossible to get through to them - sometimes even for licenced psychotherapists. I learned that when I had to seek help myself, to learn how to sleep again after the trauma...
Did you watch the series? The guy liked it and is deranged as I don’t believe anything he says especially when he says this is a true storey and depicts her going to jail when she got no time.koz hes as off in la la land as she is.he probably made this to get her attention as he contany stated he misses her and here she is so.
The negative comments are people that watched and understood what they saw,instead of jumping on the sexist train.
It's odd that so many people feel "bad" for Fiona (Martha). I believe there is definitely a double standard when it comes to this behaviour. I dont think the sympathetic reaction would come into play if the genders of these two were reversed. If a man went into a bar, started a conversation with a female waitress, sent her emails everyday, followed her around, sat outside her house, etc that it would be looked at the same. People wouldnt feel "bad" for him... they would say he's creepy and dangerous.
It struck me as incredibly strange that Gadd, responsible for the script and playing the main role, also acted out the scene of his own assault. Throughout the series, he portrayed himself as very poor and tormented by everything happening, as if he had no control over the situation he found himself in. I wondered if there might be some aspect of vulnerable narcissism behind it. I had the impression that his entire self-presentation was geared towards garnering sympathy, and in the scene of the assault, I wasn't quite sure what his feelings were. On one hand, telling about it may give him strength because he takes control of the narrative, but on the other hand, I couldn't fully understand what he was trying to achieve by it.
The guy played himself and made a bag out of it. Come on. The woman is unstable but he was enjoying it and turned the event into making himself a celebrity. He's so traumatized he used his acting background to play himself
I think RG and Fiona are both unhinged liars to be honest. I think RG is ALOT more clever than Fiona and ALOT more manipulative. I don’t believe either of them I think the truth is somewhere in the middle.
Did you watch the show? He is very critical of himself & even comes off unsympathetic in many of his actions which lead to leading Martha on & also not telling the police the truth. We felt sorry for him but also angry at him as viewers.
Plus it started as a one man show & Netflix picked it up. They probably wanted him to play the main role. And it made the s3xual assault scene more real & brutal & show us that s3xual assault of men are trivialize. There was no way the viewer could trivialize it seeing him reliving that.
I do believe that most ppl who want fame are probably higher on the narc scale than the the average person.
@@welsh.truth.dragon3914 100% agree!....Like Gadd didn't KNOW that this WOULD inflate things....pair of sickos!...They should marry and have lots of little stalkers!🇦🇺😂
@@catherinepositano8544 yeah that's really funny
I had a stalker, a man, but less dangerous than the character of Martha. We went on one super casual date. We didn't work and I said I'm down to be friends. Well, he followed me across state lines (I didn't post anything about the trip) and he spraypainted my name and number all over the city. literally covering the front of a grocery store and the doors. My name is very unique, even in a big city. So. Eventually I went to the police. Two or three times actually. The last time I went was after he literally confessed to it over text. I had proof of the incidents and everything plus his confession and the cops said "well, what do you want us to do about it" it's the same response I got when I tried to file an SA against someone, and when I had to call during a DV crisis. I had to go to the hospital and still, they said no one will believe you anyway. Why? idk. All across the US, cops are like this. Useless. They don't keep us safe, WE keep us safe.
Yea call us when you've had to defend yourself so we can lock you up for murder. This place is so backwards.
In the Piers Morgan interview I kept thinking of the Shakespearean saying "Methinks the lady doth protest too much".
I can't get over the fact that the stalker is more hated & hounded than the rapist
The stalker outed herself whereas the rapist didn't. The rapist character MIGHT have been entirely made up - the trans character and many other elements of the show were completely fictional.
@@derkeheath5172 Yet, at the beginning of every episode, I hear, they say, "This is a true story." Legally, that means something.
She did the interview, because she was being harassed by people who sussed her out, and she's greedy.
They made a whole series about her and she wants us to think that she didn’t watch it. How does she even know how exactly she is depicted if she didn’t watch it? Lol
I haven’t watched it and I know about. Trailers, RUclips reviews, people messaging her, memes, friends and family who have watched it telling her. Not saying she didn’t watch it but it’s easy to get information without watching it, especially when it’s so big and controversial
@@brumtownmiller6130 That's very true! However, if she's going to sue a major company you would think she'd have watched the series and not relied on outside sources for her information.
@@EricaH329 she can get her lawyers to do that. Aslong as she knows the show has said Atleast 1 lie about her, she can sue and get her lawyer to deal with any other allegations against her. Personally I would watch it if it was me
@@brumtownmiller6130 That may be true, but without watching the series herself how can she make the claims that it's false? Even to go as far as saying she's going to sue? Does she just assume they're false? Is she relying on what others are saying? It seems silly to me to jump to assumptions when she could simply watch the series and find out for herself.
@@EricaH329 she might intend on using Prince Harry's method in Court... she'll say "I don't know how I was represented in the show, but I FEEL that I've been misrepresented."
This might be your best work yet. Amazing insight. And the conclusion was spot on.
I watched the interview yesterday and wonderer what would Dr. Grande's opinion would be!
We were all waiting for this one. Great job Dr G.
If anyone doubted Richard before, they'll surely believe him now.
I don’t. He claimed she had been sent to prison twice but she has no criminal record.
@@mamabeartrue420 the only verifiable fact available so far is that she has no criminal record. Netflix said for a 100% fact that she did but she does not. They haven’t produced the email, voicemails or texts to refute her claims but at this point they could. She has a dead bang lawsuit and I am guessing right now someone in Netflix’s legal department is getting fired.
There is only one verifiable fact in this whole debacle and that is Fiona never went to prison. Gadd and Netflix claim she has been to prison for stalking two times but can’t provide any evidence and neither can anyone else.
@@nathanielgreer2764That has not been proven yet. Just because she says she doesn’t have a criminal record, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have one.
@@LindaKayHolevas it is impossible to prove a negative. But her criminal record has been checked into by multiple journalists and nothings has come up. So this proves one of two things; either the British government is incredibly inept at keeping records or she has never been to prison.
Your take is always my opinion if I’m forced to contribute in topical matters at work. I haven’t watched the series or the surrounding drama just thought I will patiently wait for the horses mouth, so to speak. Thanks for taking the time to ensure I’m not a total outcast on days I’m forced to attend the office Dr G.. you never let me down. ❤
I watched the interview yesterday and have been patiently waiting for your input. Didn't have to wait long...you never disappoint ☺️
I wounder would people be as sympathetic towards a male stalker behaving as she did?
I think she gains more sympathy for the fact she is female.
Thank you again Dr.Grande for a great video
We can't deny it plays a part. Female stalkers aren't taken as seriously or as dangerous. And that's already an issue with stalkers in general.
What people fail to mention is that there are REAL PEOPLE LIKE HER. I watched it with that in mind. Disturbing but entertaining. She did not sound convincing in the interview.
I had a stalker, a man, but less dangerous. went on one super casual date. We didn't work and I said I'm down to be friends. Well, he followed me across state lines (I didn't post anything about the trip) and he spraypainted my name and number all over the city. literally covering the front of a grocery store and the doors. My name is very unique, even in a big city. So. Eventually I went to the police. Two or three times actually. The last time I went was after he literally confessed to it over text. I had proof of the incidents and everything plus his confession and the cops said "well, what do you want us to do about it" it's the same response I got when I tried to file an SA against someone, and when I had to call during a DV crisis. I had to go to the hospital and still, they said no one will believe you anyway. Why? idk. All across the US, cops are like this. Useless. They don't keep us safe, WE keep us safe.
I've been stalked. It's weird to be looking out for a female who just happens to show up everywhere.
It's really sad that the cops don't do a thing until it's too late. Makes me so mad
She is a real person
It would be a worthwhile investment to see a competent therapist to look at any unhealthy patterns in yourself. Unclairity of motives and lack of boundaries can attract dangerous people that won't go away.
So true. I’m currently healing from an extremely abusive relationship, and realizing I need to learn more about codependency. Thx for your coverage Dr G ❤
@@stewarln52284 I understand. I highly recommend listening to Dr. Ramani, The Enlightened Target and Dr. Less Carter. Sensitive, kind, caring and helpful people are the preferred Targets of Narscissts. Also on YT is a poor quality but very great info video on Assertiveness Training. It's so painful to go through. I wish you healing.
Exactly, when growing up boundaries didn't exist. I didn't even know what that was until I got away from family.
Wow! Very well said! I especially love the ending of your video! This brings me so much clarity and I feel heard, seen, and validated. I kept feeling sorry for them, right from day one of meeting them! We need more videos like this and we need more movies like Baby Reindeer! The world needs to be more aware of this type of personality/character disorder. Thank you so much for this video! 💕👍🙏
I was WAITING for Dr Grande to make this!!! Haven’t even watched it and I’m waiting to now so I can pop some popcorn
Watched the interview last night. Can't believe I can't find anything online about whether she actually has a criminal record. All I can find are articles repeating her claims. Internet, do ya job! 😜
Same!
It’s because she’s not real. She’s an actress playing along. This is all a psyop to push a show. It’s pretty messed up.
@@Cookiepartyyyshoot… I didn’t even think about that possibility. :(
@@CookiepartyyyAnd where's your evidence of that?
Name change? Expunged?
This is the inherent danger of making true stories. Once they are out there, it is out of the creators hands. I would never condone her alleged behaviour. I also cannot condone Piers Morgans " journalism"
They fictionalized it and used a different name for the character, nobody would know it was her being portrayed if she didn't come out and tell everyone.
OMG. Thank you for putting a little bit of "order" to this bizarre situation! I watched some of the Piers Morgan interview but not all of it. I always appreciate your calm demeanor! 🌟🌟🌟
As a victim of a stalker I believe she terrorized him. Even if she didn't go to jail, she caused harm. Poetic license be damned, this woman is dangerous.
Dr Grandes posting consistency is elite! 🙌
Thank you for listening to your subscribers, Dr Grande! Can’t wait to watch this.
Holy moly I’ve been watching you videos for YEARS and I just realized i wasn’t subscribed…MY BAD DR GRANDE I LOVE YOU
I have found this an informative video, as are all your videos. I love the manner that you project when discussing each case. You have a dry sense of humour which appeals to me. Thank you.
Thank god someone has explained this strange story that MSM assumes that we know all about
i mean the show is very popular
😂😂😂😂
What msm??
@@monzersaidMain stream media
Why would you want the MSM to explain it all when watching it would be the best explanation?
Thank you for your analysis on this case, Dr. Grande!
That actress should get some kind of award for her performance.
Great analysis. I agree, you felt sorry for Martha in the programme and also fiona in the interview.
In the interview she trips herself up so many times. The best being when she claimed to have a photographic memory but couldn't remember her law grades.
I always appreciate your empathy. Thanks for that. I think it is important to show us viewers that side of you.
She didn’t watch it, aye and the moon is made of creamy Camembert 😂😂😂😂😂
Pathological liars are so interesting. I always wonder whether they believe the lies they are telling or if not, what is the motivation? Weird.
Right there with you, my sister is a pathological liar and when I was younger I believed her outlandish stories. As I got older I was really just kind of impressed by her stupidity. I mean for example, during my kpop boyband phase, she lied and said she saw a group of Korean transfer student guys at her work and that they were oh so cute and charming, flirtatious, etc… She worked at a bealls in the middle of nowhere Florida, surely she had to know somewhere inside that even if a group of hot Korean boys were in Florida, they wouldn’t go AS A GROUP to HER BEALLS to flirt with HER. she’s told even more embarrassing outlandish lies, my other siblings and I have taken to poking the air and saying boop to signal to eachother when her story goes from real to fictional.
Years ago one English teacher said to write about things we have experience in otherwise the story is dull. I think Donnie telling his story with all the difficult details is what finally made him produce something interesting. It has also brought a lot of discussion and awareness which is needed
Loved the outro. I feel that way about any kind of over the top mental illness that can derail a person’s life and drive others away. Despite all the pain that can bring, at the of the day no one chooses to be that way.
Dr. G ,Thank you! Getting caught up after a long week - great analysis, and now I know what not to allocate some hours of my life to watching NF this month! Have a great weekend!
She effectively confirmed everything as the truth.
No, she denied the Netflix version of the conviction and prison sentence. Journalists can usually find this information and yet no-one has. I think that she's taking this forward as a defamation claim against Netflix, and if she is correct about it, Netflix will face a massive damages action. I suspect, if Netflix failed to properly research the facts, there will be a very, very large out of court settlement.
I don't even know what to believe anymore- I feel like Fiona (if she is the real Martha) is definitely lying in the interview but then again, I feel like there is something off about Richard and Netflix... I feel like they are all as bad as each other!! I mean surely there's sufficient legal evidence to support this?? I don't really see why this is so unaccessible to the public considering the popularity of the show and the case it's based on.. I don't know why we are psychoanalysing people when there is actual solid evidence out there which could give us all answers?
It’s annoying when narcissistic abusers are given a platform so they can attempt to reabuse their victims indirectly
Exactly
Watching from England. I 💯 believe him. The piers interview was excellent.
Thought provoking take on this topic Dr.G👍
Oo there are 5 types of stalkers, didn't know that! Stalkers are so scary he literally was just trying too be nice and get her tea. Ugh
Excellent work Dr Grande!! ❤❤❤❤