The Day Today - Newspaper Headlines

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  • Опубликовано: 17 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 136

  • @HaRDc0r3z
    @HaRDc0r3z 3 года назад +188

    i love how he points at every headline... like there it is... there's the headline.

  • @ive3336
    @ive3336 Год назад +40

    His delivery is unmatched, what a legend

  • @markpollard4703
    @markpollard4703 7 лет назад +147

    Absolute comedy genius.
    Accept no imitators.

  • @VacantHaven
    @VacantHaven 5 лет назад +124

    Due to a printing error, tomorrows Guardian is full of water!
    Priceless 🤣

    • @Jlipnicki
      @Jlipnicki 2 года назад +3

      The one true story.

    • @jazzhands7771
      @jazzhands7771 Год назад +1

      ​@@Jlipnicki😂

    • @ABW941
      @ABW941 7 месяцев назад +1

      I didnt get that one. If water is a misprint what was originally ment to be printed?

    • @jazzhands7771
      @jazzhands7771 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@ABW941😴

  • @mikearchibald744
    @mikearchibald744 2 года назад +97

    One of the funniest is on day four when he can't even bring himself to say 'here's tomorrows headlines', he just kind of mumbles and starts reading.

  • @stephenmcconnell1000
    @stephenmcconnell1000 2 года назад +77

    I love how when he says 'Elastic song strangles Hucknall', his facial expression suggests that it was sadly bound to have happened eventually

    • @stevensutton4677
      @stevensutton4677 2 года назад +4

      That line I would say is the most "Paxman" in delivery.

  • @in.articulo.mortis
    @in.articulo.mortis 5 лет назад +67

    "Those are the headlines, god how I wish they weren't."

  • @InnerLeader
    @InnerLeader 9 лет назад +187

    "Crazed Wolves in Store, A Bad Mistake Admit Mothercare."
    priceless!

    • @kisbie
      @kisbie 5 лет назад +17

      “And there’s the same story in The Sun.”

    • @AncientAbsWisdom
      @AncientAbsWisdom 2 года назад +1

      Its just a beautifully crafted gag........

    • @patriceaqa288
      @patriceaqa288 2 года назад +2

      @@AncientAbsWisdom Burt Reynolds escapes with a dodgem and eluded police on a low speed chase

  • @MCBhangramuffin
    @MCBhangramuffin 10 лет назад +65

    "feel my nose and put my specs there roars drunken Major"

  • @spectranwolfinfusion
    @spectranwolfinfusion 5 лет назад +31

    "... there he is looking wretched..."

  • @LA-yd6kk
    @LA-yd6kk 4 года назад +16

    I don't want to beat about the bush. I fucking love you Chris Morris.

  • @garethonthetube
    @garethonthetube 5 лет назад +33

    Come back Chris Morris, The News needs you!

    • @FourJamLions
      @FourJamLions  5 лет назад +4

      his new Film should be out Next Month.

    • @AuroDHikoshi
      @AuroDHikoshi 3 года назад +2

      He probably couldn't beat the real news

    • @jonathancooper4914
      @jonathancooper4914 Месяц назад

      The news now imitates Chris Morris.

  • @MadKDog
    @MadKDog 2 года назад +20

    "Child made of paint wins by-election " funniest. What a show this was!

    • @kisbie
      @kisbie Год назад +6

      Strong but nothing beats “Fleetwood Mac Buried In Dog Avalanche”

  • @NeckbeardPr1me
    @NeckbeardPr1me 2 года назад +28

    2:20 can't even be bothered to finish his sentence 🤣

    • @johnking5174
      @johnking5174 2 года назад +8

      Paxman often did the same thing on Newsnight

    • @AFGuidesHD
      @AFGuidesHD Год назад +3

      @@johnking5174 pretty sure this guy is imitating Paxman, all his mannerisms in all the clips I've seen are exactly like paxman

    • @johnking5174
      @johnking5174 Год назад +3

      @@AFGuidesHD He had a mix of mostly Paxman but with a bit of Michael Buerk thrown in, especially when he would raise his voice at the end of a sentence.

  • @matta728
    @matta728 2 года назад +14

    0:37 How he gives that Bishop a little tickle, the subtle yet outrageous comedy is nonstop 😂

  • @ignatcommaignatov
    @ignatcommaignatov 2 года назад +13

    Due to a printing error tomorrow's Guardian is full of water.
    😂 how do they come up with these

  • @returnoftheredeye
    @returnoftheredeye 2 года назад +25

    Gotta respect Mothercare for admitting the crazed wolves in store were a bad idea.

  • @coneyworks8791
    @coneyworks8791 8 дней назад +1

    I'm wishing the Hull Daily Mail will change it's name to The Hull Aphrodite 😂

  • @oscartravis5740
    @oscartravis5740 7 лет назад +43

    Portillo's face felt like guts, says girl

  • @raehik
    @raehik Год назад +18

    it's unfair how funny this bit is. chris morris reading out silly made-up headlines is somehow prime comedy I don't get how they do it

  • @LoopThemeParkAdventures
    @LoopThemeParkAdventures 2 года назад +11

    There he is, looking wretched.

  • @klonoa48
    @klonoa48 11 лет назад +71

    Some say Burt Reynolds is still going.

  • @andrewnewens41
    @andrewnewens41 6 лет назад +23

    Swollen chairman unusualness.

  • @alexanderthomas-owen613
    @alexanderthomas-owen613 7 лет назад +44

    1:11 Those tabs actually seem like a good idea. As long as there's no printing errors in it...

    • @watcherzero5256
      @watcherzero5256 6 лет назад +13

      In which case it would be full of water....

    • @tortis6342
      @tortis6342 Год назад

      I don’t know, if you ask me that idea doesn’t hold any water.

  • @kenmills30
    @kenmills30 8 лет назад +10

    The New Zealand Prendergast hahaha!! Elastic song strangles Hucknall

    • @MrEAus
      @MrEAus 6 лет назад

      I prefer the New Zealand Cobweb myself 😄

  • @robertrichardson4699
    @robertrichardson4699 2 года назад +8

    Pure talent, got me in stitches 🤣

  • @SpamNapkin
    @SpamNapkin 6 лет назад +17

    he just came in and went -0-
    and went out

  • @evelau
    @evelau 11 лет назад +9

    Thanks for compiling those!

  • @morningstar9233
    @morningstar9233 2 года назад +9

    Regular wolves ok, i can see that. Maybe even feral cats. But crazed wolves!? Mothercare deserve everything they get.

  • @yorkie471x3
    @yorkie471x3 Год назад +3

    "Last one on drugs is a queer" yells Portillo...

  • @surreptitious5869
    @surreptitious5869 2 года назад +2

    We need this back, Morris where are you? Now is the time.

  • @coredump27
    @coredump27 3 месяца назад +1

    What on earth were Mothercare thinking??!

  • @SKa-tt9nm
    @SKa-tt9nm 4 года назад +5

    Due to a printing error tomorrow’s Guardian is full of water.

  • @mucusmayhem1118
    @mucusmayhem1118 6 лет назад +12

    Elastic song strangles Hucknall 😂

  • @WeaselKing1000
    @WeaselKing1000 5 лет назад +9

    The Express, true to their general editorial standards, misspelled 'pirouette'.

    • @kisbie
      @kisbie 3 года назад +1

      Isn’t it usually the Guardian that’s full of mossprince?

    • @markchambers3833
      @markchambers3833 2 года назад

      @@kisbie *The Grauniad

  • @paulmorphy6187
    @paulmorphy6187 Год назад +1

    "Old woman killed by little glass planet" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @robair67
    @robair67 Год назад +11

    After 28 years I've only just noticed Morris' pronunciation of "avalanche". First time I hadn't been laughing at that precise moment!

  • @kisbie
    @kisbie 5 лет назад +19

    I wonder if any of those newspaper props have survived. It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if they had gone to the trouble of printing complete spoof editions.

  • @salemhamrah4505
    @salemhamrah4505 9 лет назад +7

    thaks a lot .

  • @isbestlizard
    @isbestlizard 2 года назад +4

    Due to a printing error, tomorrows Gauradian is full of water ahhahah

  • @mucusmayhem1118
    @mucusmayhem1118 6 лет назад +34

    "Are these the real Birmingham bombers?" 😂
    "Police chief crushes lizard with whistle" 😁
    "Old woman killed by little glass planet" 😂

  • @goldenboy06
    @goldenboy06 Год назад +2

    I love the way he can’t even be bothered to say ‘headlines’ at 2:21

  • @nnneh1
    @nnneh1 6 лет назад +1

    Great job. Thanks!

  • @mmjackk667
    @mmjackk667 2 года назад +2

    "Plastic surgeon arrested with a stash of stolen mouths." :))))

  • @simonatford1
    @simonatford1 7 лет назад +8

    Lassoed bat wins Booker!

  • @kevparker4604
    @kevparker4604 10 месяцев назад +1

    ‘Boiled dog could do maths’ claims experimenter

  • @eddbullen1358
    @eddbullen1358 3 года назад +1

    I was waiting for Bearded Cleric in Oily Chin Insertion

  • @RalphBrooker-gn9iv
    @RalphBrooker-gn9iv 8 месяцев назад +1

    The Hull Aphrodite 😂😂😂

  • @carlgamble480
    @carlgamble480 2 года назад +9

    Just looking at the other headlines on the papers and it's hard to tell if they're real or not; 'Fergie leads Everest trek', 'This para cut of his enemies' ears', 'confessions of a true blue bastard', 'Carol Thatcher, is she about to emigrate?' Probably are...?

    • @kisbie
      @kisbie Год назад

      The Sarah Ferguson one is real. The then Duchess of York lead an expedition to climb Mt. Everest in October 1993, it says here, so about six months before TDT was first shown. Quite who Peter Collins is supposed to be and how he relates to that story I don’t know. If it’s any of the blokes on Wikipedia with that name, it’s most likely to be the record producer and former business partner of Pete Waterman (not the Formula 1 driver). But probably just some guy Coogan or Baynham knew.

  • @ShahPhilLeotardo
    @ShahPhilLeotardo 4 месяца назад +1

    Fleetwood Mac buried in Dog Avalanche 😂

  • @emjackson2289
    @emjackson2289 2 года назад +4

    West Midlands Police are still asking those children "Are you the real Birmingham bombers?"

  • @changer_of_ways_999
    @changer_of_ways_999 2 года назад +1

    "Wait. What?" is my reaction to all of these.

  • @patchso
    @patchso 5 месяцев назад +1

    But I only want one pint!

  • @chrnovids
    @chrnovids Год назад +1

    I heard that Joe Pasquale impaled himself on a moose in Skegness and came instantly here again

  • @r3q4re80
    @r3q4re80 Год назад +1

    Now I want to change my name to Drowned Italian, emigrate to Europe, and become a musician.

  • @danbilling
    @danbilling 4 года назад +5

    Where now for man raised by puffins

  • @mattponikvar4944
    @mattponikvar4944 Год назад +1

    The way he looks at the camera with a slight disgust while shouting "Robin Cock"

  • @SteveThePster
    @SteveThePster 2 года назад +2

    Tabs, for ease of turning the pages!

  • @nickparton5663
    @nickparton5663 2 года назад +1

    "... there he is looking wretched"

  • @mez7736
    @mez7736 4 года назад +2

    "Bouncing elephantiasis women destroys central Portsmouth"

  • @christschinwon
    @christschinwon 6 лет назад +16

    FACT ME TIL' I FART

  • @vladraduandrei5227
    @vladraduandrei5227 2 года назад +1

    0:50 those small kids are still older than me since I think this was filmed before 95 when I was born...wow time fucking flies.

  • @raymondsinclair4
    @raymondsinclair4 4 года назад +1

    he does my fav humour

  • @theothermagneticaesthetic
    @theothermagneticaesthetic 5 лет назад +3

    he just came in
    and went
    ..
    0
    and went out

  • @FourJamLions
    @FourJamLions  11 лет назад +3

    no probs :)

  • @Mike20216
    @Mike20216 2 года назад

    Just brilliant 🤩

  • @Vojife
    @Vojife 6 лет назад +7

    0:53

  • @ryanwest9039
    @ryanwest9039 2 года назад +5

    Russia elects cobweb

  • @MLB9000
    @MLB9000 2 года назад

    Sacked Chimney Sweep Pumps Boss Full Of Mayonnaise

  • @NJJ77
    @NJJ77 6 месяцев назад

    1:52 I did LOL 😆

  • @robertcreighton4635
    @robertcreighton4635 2 года назад +2

    Lynn truss laughing on roof of 10 downing Street shouting 'I've turn the heat up to max, you plebs'. More on that later but first are geese gay?

  • @TheYorkie72
    @TheYorkie72 2 года назад +1

    Heseltine fading fast...

  • @jondellar
    @jondellar 2 года назад +1

    “Old woman killed by little glass planet” 😂😂😂

  • @exeterjedi6730
    @exeterjedi6730 Год назад

    Arafat ablaze in kerosene oyster hell. This pops into my mind periodically.

  • @colonelshoe7916
    @colonelshoe7916 Год назад

    legitimate BBC headline today: "Windsor Castle treason arrest man inspired by Star Wars"

  • @jesoby
    @jesoby Год назад

    Got Paxman’s dismissive tone to a T

  • @ethansrednaus8088
    @ethansrednaus8088 2 года назад

    There he is, looking wretched

  •  4 месяца назад

    Pregnant man, life eventually imitates art, kind of

    • @stephthestar90
      @stephthestar90 6 дней назад

      In 2024 that story wouldn't be quite so Farfetch'd

  • @chadroeder
    @chadroeder Год назад

    gospel

  • @BossySwan
    @BossySwan Год назад

    *GRISLY BUT GRIPPING*

  • @neilgodfrey2669
    @neilgodfrey2669 5 лет назад +1

    So all of the headlines segments for each episode were filmed at the same time? Wearing the same suit is a giveaway!

    • @johnking5174
      @johnking5174 4 года назад +5

      Chris wore nearly the same pattern of suit for the whole series. The Day Today was never structured to be individual weekly editions, they were all filmed in one recording blocking, with six 30 minute episodes then edited together for transmission, however the headlines were recorded individually, as they all led into a strange closing sequence each week.

  • @allwrighty100
    @allwrighty100 2 года назад

    Do you think mind-altering drugs are used in the writing of this? I like to think not.

  • @stephensmith799
    @stephensmith799 3 года назад

    So many more to be written… Priti Patel Jailed for 14 Years for Embarrassing Priti Patel

    • @eIucidate
      @eIucidate 2 года назад +2

      Would Boris Johnson make a better Boris Johnson than Boris Johnson?
      - Question Time, Harry & Paul

  • @robdean704
    @robdean704 2 года назад

    Portillos face looks like guts says girl..

  • @lyxnick
    @lyxnick 2 года назад +7

    You know humanity has gone backwards when the headline "Cliff Richard is pregnant" could be a real story today and people would cheer it.

  • @ArcanePath360
    @ArcanePath360 Год назад +1

    10 years later, and that last headline could actually pass as a real headline now, in a legit newspaper. Parody has become reality.

  • @octobell5344
    @octobell5344 2 года назад

    0:49