Oh jeez, I remember that first one. If Joe and Natalie want to spend the rest of their lives playing "will they, won't they" games with each other then they should just do that and not involve other people.
My two best friends (male and female) were like this. They were obviously in love but couldn't stay together. Neither were built for monogamy, so they'd date for awhile then separate and bang the world until they eventually got back together. I loved them both but felt zero attraction to either (female bestie and I were both bisexual) and always figured they'd end up together. Then male bestie got with the girl who would become his baby mama. Sweet girl, I really liked her and she really helped male bestie get himself together. But he kept cheating on her- plus everyone knew he and female bestie were in love. It was a hot mess. Then female bestie passed away. It was very sudden, she was only 27. We were all devastated, but male bestie and I took it super hard. To be fair everyone did. Female bestie was brillant- like genius IQ, talented, funny, very unique and GORGEOUS like model hot only very goth. She was incredibly popular and her funeral was packed. Like 1/2 the people there were in love with her but there was always this unspoken thing were male bestie and her were meant to be. Meanwhile his poor baby mama is there. This is right before her pregnancy, but they were living together and trying. And it comes out that male bestie had cheated... again. Even in my grief I felt so sorry for baby mama. She didn't deserve that at all. She just feel for a guy that was already in love, but he and female bestie were both too bad at monogamy to stay together, at least at 27/28. Ten years later and I wonder what would've happened if she was still here. I think they would've gotten togther eventully, but who knows if it would've worked out. Male bestie cheated on baby mama many more times. She caught him when their kiddo was watching something on his phone and some chicks nudes popped up. They coparent very well together, but are better apart. Male bestie still can't hold down a commited relationship. I know some of it is grief, but some of us just aren't meant to be tied down. Funnily enough I'm the opposite lol. But I met my amazing partner through make bestie so I can't complain. I think it's all about being honest and open. All of his relationships fail because he can't admit that he doesn't want monogamy- and the one person it might've worked with is gone. I wish he'd just go for open relationships. But then he also gets jealous when girls step out on him- the irony I know lol.
Like I feel Gaslight in that 1st story, to be honest. Like who makes that kind of anal joke in front of their best friend's partner about their best friend? And that's only one thing the fact that the partner didn't shut that thing down and lied and then made OP feel like she was the 1. That was crazy. And then the friends like what the f*** gaslighting at its finest?
They both are a match made in hell. He gives off "If I can't have her no one can" bunny boiler vibes and she gives off "He only hits me when he's stressed or upset or angry so it's fine" gaslit af vibes
@@erenssister.5535 Look at the way they act around each other. I imagine they would constantly be breaking up and then crawling back to each other even if one or both cheated. They seem almost co dependent on each other. Like they feel they would die or be lonely, broken and miserable without each other. The dynamic of their "friendship" is so messed up that I don't think they will ever leave each other.
@@RaspberryHugs nope. Instead they will make other people’s life around them a hell. I pray they never have kids. Because this type of toxic codependency is not good for a child's mental health. They would constantly separate and make up. They will abuse each other and defend each other's toxic behaviour. I am glad op got out soon with minimum damage. I know she is upset but she will see life is so much peaceful without toxic people like them. I am betting their friends will drop them too.
@@erenssister.5535When people who are this enmeshed have kids, many times the child will be a third wheel - they’re so close there’s no room in the relationship for anyone else.
Story 1: I hope they rot together. Relationships like these never work out when they finally get together. Life isn't a movie where you pine from afar and date other people and finally get together when the time is right. This is real life, not a fantasy. While they play their little games, they've both left a trail of broken relationships behind them, damaging other people because they can't sort out their issues. People like this are inherently toxic. Rest assured they will ruin each other's lives once they finally do get together.
If Joe and Nat want to play the Ross and Rachel game, they can do it on their own time. I would have dumped him right after getting home from his family’s house. Edit: Joe and Nat deserve each other. May they drive each other crazy with their toxicity until they isolate everyone around them while OP goes onto live her best life and finds a great guy who loves her for who she is. Edit edit: The way Markee read OP’s last update at 23:00 hurt my heart. Voice acting is 🔥
Damn. The fiance knows all that info would be a deal breaker for any partner and kept it from her. Then gets mad when she has a very understandable reaction. Break up! He ain't worth it
Except she told him not to talk about her. How was he supposed to tell her about their past history without talking about her? She basically said "Don't tell me anything about her" and then got mad she didn't know anything about her.
@@bluedragon8762 Was actually referring to her being all mad that he didn't know how how intertwined Natalie was with his family or how long they'd known each other. She didn't want to hear anything about her so she didn't know anything about her. That's on her. The knowledge that they had slept together should have definitely been part of the original disclaimer she got before she actually met her. That's on him. Though I just cringe at the idea of trying to have that conversation. "Hey, just thought you should know. I'm currently rooming with my business partner/bandmate/BFF/former FWB. That's not gonna be an issue right?" Ugh, so awkward.
@@SapphWolf ah yes “I fucked someone who is basically my adopted sister, was violent with her boyfriend and have had an on and off relationship with her and even loved her but still entered other relationships” Please give me an excuse that justifies this
@@SapphWolf it's more awkward seeing the lovey doveyness that encrued and would have been explained by the sex. This wasn't a poly relationship. This was a monogamous relationship where he was still obviously lusting and loving after this "friend" while being with her which is why she requested to stop hearing about Natalie at all. Seeing someone your in love with just romantically tell all these stories about another woman they show signs of love and lust for hurt especially since it isn't you. Friends and love is one thing but he wasn't going "friends" and it broke apart. It's like a gay man using a woman as a beard. You see the way they love another and it breaks apart. It's not fair to the woman which is how they become so hostile in the end. It was never about the "friends" or else she would have been angry at multiple but she never demanded he not see his family etc just the ONE person he obviously was lusting after and shoving that lust and "she will always be above you" obsession in her face. She tried to seperate them a bit because he was seemingly OBSESSED with Natalie. And it shows with how everything ended (not even denying it and all of the friend group not even being surprised so even they knew). He tried to use her as a beard and hurt her because of it. He has no excuse and she wasn't being toxic only being hostile after being burned so many times while not understanding the she was just a cover up. A side piece while he gathered courage to go after this real love.
Op 1 was basically the unwilling “beard” for Joe & Nat’s relationship. I feel really bad for Op. But it’s definitely a blessing she got out and it will get better
"You should consider yourself lucky that I'm going home with you. I could go home with any woman here if I wanted to." Good news bud, you can get one of them to drive you home if that's true.
8 месяцев назад+3
That really screamed "I have SA'd girls in the past because I think I am hot shit"
Not really, I had an ex with a ton of guy friends. She was a really sweet girl, never cheated or anything and all the guys saw her as the little sister in the group, but she disclosed it to me before bc she could definitely see guys being jealous about that. Ended up not working out for completely unrelated reasons
halloween story: So she “betrayed” him by anonymously venting to people he doesn’t know, but it’s okay for him to outright lying to their friends to turn them against her?? Also, the fact the lies shows he knows he’s in the wrong
And the overly religious counsellor. Why did OP stay so long? He completely disrespected her, lied about her and was a mooch. Like what value does he bring to the relationship?
If OP is that desperate for a child to raise and provide for, try adopting, or even fostering a child in need of a home. Guaranteed they wouldn't pull that "head of the household" BS
Funny how in that reply in the chat Natalie managed to turn it on OP being jealous as if she had no reason to be. She was making anal jokes to OPs bf and she’s supposed to be okay with that? They’re both as bad as each other. OP dodged a missile with that one.
I'm just waiting for those two to have a wedding and immediately getting divorced because it wasn't "exciting" anymore lol. Those two deserve each other.
The Super Bowl story: If I told my wife, who came to pick me up, that I could leave with any other woman at the bar she would tell me to get them to drive me and my friends home then. She would proceed to leave my ass at the bar to go pack my shit up. Hell, I’m sure she would find a way to have divorce papers drafted in that time as well. 🤣
Exactly - and 9/10 the "drunk words are sober thoughts" is 100% true. It does affect some people differently, and even for those people, if that's the case - it is YOUR responsibility to not get drunk and be an ass.
While platonic life partners are absolutely valid, don't try to marry your romantic partner when that spot is already occupied. Ops fiance needs to accept that he won't have a traditional family while continueing to be life partners with his best friend.
True. And im so happy he and Nat get to finally be together instead of both of them having to placate an insecure, whiny OP💜 It was very clear, OP was hella insecure and so freaking jealous of Nat from day 1. I mean, when even his family got angry at her for being an insufferable insecure r*unt, it says a lot.🙄 And the ending where she tries to pretend shes "worried" for Nat because suddenly Joe is controlling and abusive??? Like, you've been angry the whole time because he wasn't putting all his focus on you and he had the audacity to have friends and family that supported his friendship!!🤨🤦♀️ But hes the controlling one, apparently 🙄
@Ophilia Necr the guy literally hit a lot of Vital Information about his relationship with Natalie. Information that would have made any logical person immediately nope out of the relationship if they knew early on. So that strike number one he knew that no one would date him if they knew the whole scope of it which is why he hid it. To is there really anybody who would be okay with their fiance's family constantly bringing up and talkin about the best friend. I mean I'd understand it if the subject involved her. The God all the friends and family constantly bringing up Nat as if she's his actual lover. Also so what if she's insecure. She was rightfully insecure, look at all the information that was hidden from her. The man even admitted himself that he used her to try to not think about his true love. She even said she felt like a third wheel which means that a lot of their conversations were either inside jokes of things that only they knew about. Have you never been the Third Wheel between two people who were in their own little world even though you are standing right next to them? It effing sucks, now imagine you're the fiance of one of those people. And imagine that this happens every time they're in the same place.
@@jestersreign7530 yah no. Insecurity never looks good on anyone, especially when it comes to somebody whos BEEN a major relationship since childhood like Nat. Even OP admitted Nat tried to include her and involving her in their shows and outings. Ops horrible Insecurity led her to be controlling and so needy that she wanted to control everyone around her to exclude a person who had their own life, their own thing. Op admitted Joe relayed the closeness of the friendship from the start and how important she was to him. Maybe Joe hid further info because he KNEW and could SEE how irrationally jealous OP was. And fyi, I've HAD relationships where bffs slept together and it didn't bother me because im not so fragile and Insecure, much less controlling. 🙄🙄 And those relationships ended because I got tired of the person, not the close friends they had.
@@ophilianecr do the post literally says that the guy admitted he's in love with Natalie and that he was using Opie to try to not think about it. When she posted this in the group chat literally all of the friends between Natalie and Joe got angry at him. Even Natalie's message back to Opie completely disregarded the fact that one they had had sex many times and she had no idea. That the relationship between the two was definitely an emotional affair like relationship. Also it doesn't matter if she was insecure she was justifiably insecure. She was right the entire time so again doesn't matter.
@@jestersreign7530 wow, you're really upset about me being happy for the people who genuinely love each other, to find a way to be happy without an insecure, controlling twat separating them. Are you okay? Do you iften get upset when people leave bad relationships with toxic people and find their happiness??? Like, you do understand that many people break up and try to move while they still have strong emotions, right?? I guess you can't fathom that. This dude felt that love for someone who has been there every year of his life since childhood. That mattered more to him than destroying their deep friendship to attempt a partnership, (he should have tried, but friendship often outlasts relationships when you're young). He thought it didn't work out the time they messed around, so he tried to find a partner elsewhere. He ended up with an insecure little crap who tried to control his FAMILY so they wont be even talk about Nat. The fact that you think thats appropriate and not controlling or toxic behavior, is gross. Get help for that, if thats what you believe, its a deeper issue than having an opinion. And get help for your anger towards people who don't like toxic behavior and can call it out when its being disguised. You're being really toxic, and you need to stop talking to me with this disgusting behavior
So while I'd normally rebuke someone's jealousy over a man and woman's friendship, it's clear from the first part he hid too much about his closeness with nat. And judging from the comments, he was always in love with her
Story 1. I don't care if you were struck by a train..in no way would I be ok with my fiance leaving the country to be by his female friend who CLEARLY has a thing for him. You leave, don't bother coming back to me EVER!.
1. Story: OP shouldn't hold onto him, she is a placeholder till Nathalie wants to be together with him Edit: Okay maybe not, still co-dependent and really bad communication And OP will always be at most second place to Nathalie
Story 1 : OP really buried the lead by how late she informed us they slept together. But also, its not clear how long they were together at the time but she really should have just let him go on work/holiday with Nat. Like why was she fighting to keep the bucket of red flags? Likewise, when she went to see the family she absolutely made herself look like a bad guy. People need to stop making their lives worse in these situations by becoming more entwined with frickin lunatics. I think that's just as big a problem here tbh
Don't worry, we gave her the business for her comments about his looks. Just from the 'he's just average' all of us were telling her to dump him, not just for her own sake but because of how she sees him.
Story 1: Nat is 100% just doing damage control. Joe and Nat are both AHs who deserve eachother at this point, just so nobody else has to suffer their crap. Also, not to be the guy who is like "oh you should make your content this way" but these multi story videos should probably include timestamps/chapters, especially with the length of them. After the final update I take back the good stuff I said about the friends. Fuck them too.
Story 1: How utterly stupid. This is a young person’s kind of fight, because anyone out of their 20’s wouldn’t tolerate this kind of BS. If your SO has a “friend” that is TOO close, it’s time to pack it up and move on. It never improves. This is compounded by about a billion after finding out they’ve been intimate. I can’t recall if OP shared her age, but I’m betting it’s mid-20’s. Someone my age would never tolerate this for a second.
A full candy bar? Did he miss the message that the small ones are for small children. Don't take the fun away from the little ones by overloading them. The big ones are for big kids
First story: I’m all for platonic friends with the opposite gender, good friends even, but that is way too fucking much. The guy should’ve proposed to Natalie instead of wasting OPs time
S1 Ugh, this story. I can't decide if OP is deeply insecure and thus shouldn't marry, or if Joe and Nat should just confess and thus OP shouldn't marry. Regardless, this dynamic is freaking ridiculous.
Gave honeymoon to ex's sister story - pity OP cancelled the wedding he could have checked if the money he would loose could have covered a smaller wedding and offered it to the sister as a marriage renewal wedding to go with the honeymoon. Then everyone would have had a great time and rubbed it into ex's face.
Could have been another great thank you for saving him from the cheater. Also - Lightly self defensed him, and "carefully" detained him.😂 absolutely perfect!
I’m very religious. And I do agree with husband being head of the house. BUT this is a serious responsibility & should be treated as such. I remind my husband I trust his judgement & to please honor that. He does. He often makes decisions that are not his favorite but decides it’s best compromise for us. It is a large responsibility. Our marriage counseling was non religious because we wanted to make sure we did not feel guilt or pressure to make things work. We followed our faith together outside of counseling.
Their relationship ruining their friendship might actually give them both the break from each other they need to be healthy people. They need therapy SO bad though Edit: what’s up with the parents in the switch story on all sides refusing to pay for their kids stuff??? Even OP’s! Shame
If you have a "friend" like that, they will always be in the way of separate romantic relationships. Nat and Joe need to just be together. Don't waste anymore time.
My ex had a co worker named Natalia and I was uncomfortable that he was getting close. After we split his cousin told me that they were banging, he'd caught them but couldn't tell me at the time because I was recovered from surgery.
Story 1: I'm not sure why OP stayed so long. It was pretty clear early on that Joe and Nat had strong feeling for each other and were connected. You can't force someone to live by your standards. There were plenty of Red Flags here. I didn't even have to finish reading the story to know something was up. It seems OP was competing with Nat and steering Joe away from Nat. NEVER compete for a man. They need to make up their own minds what they really want. This is why Joe stated she was manipulative and jealous. OP states she loves him but she NEVER understood him. There is NOTHING salvageable here and she dodged a bullet. Joe and Nat are a thing.
To the mother. I was told it would be hard for me to get pregnant, I was 5 months and had lost so much weight that they had to use an ultrasound to confirm my pregnancy, the doctor told us during my delivery to discuss with my family who to save if it came down to it. We both came through.. 6 years later came my 2nd gift from god and yes I have problems with that one as well, yet once again he was fine. I now have 2 grown and amazing sons. The damage done to my health and body was so worth it. Just have faith, you will be fine.
Iknowright? Objectively they're terrible but I can understand why their friends have seemingly forgiven them and glad they finally together. OP got hurt from was trying to take an arrow from cupid for them.
There's usually nothing wrong with friends of the opposite sex. But that's not what this is. They're playing this stupid game of 'we're in a shitty Lifetime movie and are in love but we'll ruin a few partners along the way and act like we're so cute'. My god I hate them so much and I don't even know them.
Story 1 Nah. This sounds like a Lifetime rom from hell, with OP being forced to be assigned the role of the “bitchy fiancée that will get dumped for the main OTP”. Leave this mess behind. If they were “just friends”, they would have made it very clear with OP.
Story 1, OP is doing too much, they knew so early on that this wasn’t normal yet they stayed and stirred the pot and messed w people when the responsible thing to do was just leave a year ago. Seems like she liked the drama a bit in my opinion to stick around and keep meddling. Leave them to their will they won’t they dance and move on 😂
THANK YOU! I was hoping someone would say this. Yes. Their relationship and situation was problematic BUT He was absolutely right! She was manipulative and jealous and Stirred the pot and drove everyone crazier than they already were. Then she went "Nat's always been nice, I don't know why she freaked out and went crazy like that." TF DO YOU MEAN! You did it when you aired it out publicly! She's just as problematic as the other two in her post.
Grew up around alcoholics. Everyone always let poop go because “they drank. It’s not their fault”. Well, as an adult. I either 1. Call police & press charges 2. Call them out & start dirty laundry displaying & make them cry. Either way, it has stopped the drunk poop smack talking. Guess they do have some control even drunk 🤷♀️🤣
If this was a movie/tv series, Joe & Natalie would be the *romantic* (but actually toxic, kind of like Ross & Rachel?) main character couple who people believe are so just so meant to be (ugh!) and OP is the *demanding & manipulative* (but actually the only sane person lead to believe that she was in a relationship that was going somewhere, kind of like Emily?) soon-to-be-ex who had no idea that she had to go thru all that pain because they are just using her to drive the plot to the *_right direction_*. (◔_◔)
I think op from story 1 was desperate, she was told from the beginning about Natalie but says "I didn't know what I was getting myself into", but when she realized what was going on, she dug in her heels and begged and pleaded to be picked. Girl. Have some self respect.
I feel like OP in the first story was not that I to Joe and had no respect at all, even without Natalie they were a bad match. It feels like she mainly cried because she "lost" Everyone on Reddit is kind of missing that and empathising with OP despite her seeming to want a 9-5 salary man and to find Joe controlling.
It doesn't really matter if OP is right to be jealous over their relationship, because she is jealous. That won't change, and he told her in the beginning what was what w/ Nat re: her importance in his life. The back and forth passion and drama that IS a relationship like this, can be hot and heavy and euphoric, in the short term. In the long term, it is exhausting, and demoralizing. Wrong or right, OP cannot handle it and needs to disengage to protect herself and then stay single for a while. She was jealous and hateful towards Nat before she even had the info that should enrage or worry her. She needs to work on her self esteem. Just my opinion. I REALLY didn't like this OP, I think they were all made for each other.
I think adult children living with their parents need to get a job and help pay the bills.They all need to agree on how much each need to pay.I don’t think it’s fair for the parents to continue paying for everything, when the adults can help financially, and specially when now everything it’s so expensive. It’s important they all start contributing financially to the household.
This is less trickle truthing and more like getting blasted with the hose everytime🙄 People aren't evil side characters in the romance movie you call a life
Natalie and Joe need to decide if they are together or not. Do not put others in the middle. OP, if you hadn't been played all along by him, you would be sympathetic that someone your fiance "cared about" was in the hospital, but you weren't given the chance to be kind because he screamed "wolf" to often. Lose him. Please, for your own sake. Edit, some words.
How can Natalie keep choosing to be around with someone who TRIED TO KILL HER DATE. I didn't think she did much wrong with her until that. Just get with him and keep yourselves out of the dating pool so you can't make anyone else miserable.
I’ll comment on the Halloween story since no one else is focused on that one (for good reason 😂). We are the big Halloween decorating house in our location. People come from hours away to walk through it. The inside is decorated, outside is very decorated. We serve the public food and drinks for free. People are allowed into the house to walk through. Pretty much nothing is off limits. We spent thousands on decor if I’m being honest. I have three twelve footer Home Depot decorations that ranged from $300 to $500 usd each alone-not counting the plethora of other animatronics and decor. I have a $300 cotton candy machine for that night. We have an animatronic bartender at a lit coffin bar “serving” adults who didn’t drive cinnamon whisky spiked apple cider. I serve around 7 gallons of chili soup with crackers first come first serve until we run out. We have a hot chocolate bar for kids with electric dispensers that get refilled as needed. This is very much a “I grew up poor” thing for my husband and I. Neither of us had much of a childhood. I literally had to be the adult because I had unstable irresponsible child-like stupid hot irredeemable fuq around parents who could not keep their crap together for anything. Still can’t even as older people. They are both absolute train wrecks. I had to be the one with sense and responsibility because neither of them ever could. I was the one lecturing them like naughty children when they lied, stole, did hardcore drugs, cheated, broke so many hearts that I lost count, etc. I was five years old and having to get between them physically fighting and smacking each other around because both stupid hot idiots couldn’t stop screwing around with everyone they came across. Pun intended 🤮. It was a regular occurrence that someone was getting caught in bed with someone else and a physical fight would happen and someone’s clothes were getting thrown down the highway so that whoever they were with would be caught without clothes to go home in. Then they ended up broken up for good but still nothing changed-it was just with new people that these things happened. Husband grew up with massive physical abuse in his home. His step father would beat his mom up and then, still angry, go looking for more victims. This was my husband until he learned to run away at night until the dude passed out. He would walk to an all night arcade and play games until he couldn’t stay awake anymore. His step father would beat the family dog instead of him if he couldn’t find him. At some point after that started happening my husband (a child) unhooked the dog’s chain and let him run away to save him from the abuse. So yeah, we do holidays so very big. Maybe it’s an escape mechanism, or maybe it’s a way to reclaim innocence lost or a broken childhood. But the difference is that we worked out butts off to make these things happen, we didn’t expect a handout at someone else’s expense like the OP in that story. These things came after all other responsibilities are met and were acquired over time. And our kids never experienced what we did as children. They had a happy stable home and everything that they needed. Pretty much everything they wanted as well. It was a cushy life for them. But they did get that balanced with chores and good school work expected etc. They had common childhood rules.
story 1: poor op, none of this is her fault, it hurts to be used, the ex & "best friend" kept a lot from her. it hurts but her life would be worst married to him, he's a coward. Take it as a learning experience, know what you don't want & what to watch out for. all that's left to do, have your pity party, dry your tears, hit the gym, salon & find new friends
I think one of the comments was right about what those two really wanted. They wanted the thrill of the chase of each other without the worry about the commitment for the risk that it would fail. If that wasn't the case they would stick to just a friends-with-benefits situation. But instead they date other people and knowingly or unknowingly interfere with each other's relationship. I think on a subconscious level they know that they will not work out if they date for real.
She was a dramatic weirdo, too, she should have dumped him instead of being belligerent and trying to force it to work. She was a brat to his friend who was actively trying to make things work for them. It's just goofy she waited so long to break up with him and still wanted to date him even though she called him "average"...
@@mimilapinYeah that was a small but real red flag. It's one thing to acknowledge other people may say he average (most people are by definition) but to nonchalantly say you yourself think your fiance is "mid" rises the question why he's even your fiance. It certainly not because they have a close stable relationship.
I almost died from post partum preeclampsia I got worse after birth. Inwas healthy and healthy weight. now I am stuck on high blood pressure meds 2 years later. It was so traumatic I went and removed my tubes to never go through pregnancy since I was sick from the day I got pregnant threw up every day until birth. Yup basically I went and closed shops
OP should have left the situation when she found out he was living with another female. Im nit going to say its impossible for a girl and dude to just be friends bc yhey really can and they can live together without having sex. But when you step into a situation and your not comfortable leave. Just leave.
"My boyfriend said he doesn't care about some petty words and tell her to manage her own health" It's so ironic to me that the person with ASPD is being more empathetic than the person who doesn't have ASPD.
#1 reddit has taught me.. never ever, ever co-own a home with someone before the wedding has occurred + 6mo #2 keep your financials separate 💯 the entire marriage. #3 if you inherit money during the marriage, just assume your marriage is over unless you give all of it to your spouses family.
Don't take this the wrong way, but the logical conclusion to that seems to be don't even marry or share property at all. Seems like you would be just living together with the wedding being a big party at that point.
Lord, spoken just like the crazy girl who his banging her ex. Sounds super rational honestly. All though, I never would have posted in the group chat. I would have quietly broken up with him. I don't like drama. My relationship is between me and my SO, not a group of people.
Hate it when redditors comment as if they know exactly what these people are like, have gone through, or may feel. They be getting the slimmest of insights into a random persons life and then feel like they not just deserve to know everything that happens, every question of theirs answered but also feel like they know best. All we, as people who read about these things, can do is assume. Assumptions are just that though. ... On another note, these weird "No babe, you're bossing" comments (regardless of gender). Weird af. You don't know this person. It's nice you want to leave a uplifting comment but that's a little.... off, weird, to me personally even gross. That's sounds either fake or like you want to make it sound as if you've known this person for a long time. Both of which weirds and creeps me out seeing how they commented on an anonymous platform. Creepy.
1) Yup, not like a sister unless a very perverted family. It seems clear to me OP needs to quit this guy because she is or at least will always feel like she is the 3rd wheel in this relationship and be jealous. He was not honest as he should have been about his past. OP will always be worried that she is running a distant 2nd between the 2 females in his life. Since he can't seem to actually commit to how to behave and communicate with his fiancee to make her feel comfortable and valued, it's time to move on. After update: Happy to hear OP was able to learn more, and recognize how messed up her former fiance is and that he needs to be an X. Shame on him for involving OP when he knew he was in love with this other girl. I hope OP does have fun with the proceeds from the ring. I feel sorry for the other girl for how she now probably wind up with him. He is a schmuck, jealous and controlling, who is not averse to violence. After final update: OP needs to stop drinking and take care of herself, therapy is a good idea. I'm sorry that she was hurt and feels a lack of support, and that her friends are closer to the X than her so she feels even more unsupported. A painful but valuable lesson, it will soon be just a brief part of life in the past. 2) I think he needs some counseling to help him deal with his fears and guilty emotions. I hope despite all the bad things they are going through now that all will be well and they can be happy after baby is here. After update: I'm glad OP and her husband had a good talk and he is feeling a bit relieved and less anxious after that.
1:42:50 I am begging people to learn what words like “gaslighting” means before using them 😭 to gaslight someone means to psychologically manipulate someone to the point where they question their own sanity for example, imagine this scenario: person A sees their partner, person B, cheating on them. A confronts B, and B denies it, saying that they weren’t even at that place, and they must’ve been seeing things - after all, A has been working long hours, so maybe they’re not doing well mentally, or maybe just needs to get some sleep Something like that is textbook gaslighting After typing all that, I realize I could’ve just used an example of my own: I had a roommate in college who would constantly ignore me whenever I tried to interact with them, and I was worried about them, but didn’t want to pressure them or anything, so I never pushed them. One day we had a big argument, and they claimed that _I_ was the one ignoring _them_ when they were only trying to be polite/kind and say hi or talk to me. That was them (trying to) gaslight me, but it didn’t work very well since I’d talked to my parents several times about how I was worried about them and how they ignored me.
Joe and Natalie story : OP, don't waste any more time with Joe. You can't win in a situation like that and will just have years of misery and disappointment trying. You deserve a man who has you as his No. 1 and you will never have that with Natalie clinging on to his coat tails. Cut your losses, have a good cry and move on. Good luck.
I work at Walmart and $300 is a full cart of groceries for a family of 4 what the fuck were they making him pay for?? And he STILL spotted them for baby stuff when the 2 ADULTS with joint income couldn't budget. 1100 a month and he spotted whats probably more than 3k biweekly between 2 adults.
People who say "it's your culture I have to respect that" honestly just say that because they don't respect the culture but don't want to seem like a bigot.
The bf at 45 min told a lot of stories about halloween but didn't actually sit down and have a conversation about plans or budgeting for it op is completely nta but would be better off single
My wife and I go big for Halloween and do full size candy bars. We’ve collected our decorations over the years not just on a whim. And we start getting candy before October. It takes quite a bit of planning to be festive on a budget.
Joe was not being open and honest with OP about his most significant human relationship. A marriage shouldn't begin based upon lies by omission. Joe is tripping if he believes his relationship with Natalie mirrors that of siblings.
i have borderline personality disorder and i like it when folks actually stop and listen to the truth and not those that are prejudiced. ive been with my husband for a lil over 20 years oh and i listen to different music for different moods and write or paint or do other crafts to calm myself down.
Anytime I read the shit partners or bad pregnancy subreddits, I'm so thankful that my husband is supportive and loving and I had a good pregnancy and delivery
I love it, If you don't support the gays in exactly the right way your a homophobe. Fucking priceless. And Markie just chef's kiss with the sarcastic "just throw rainbows about, the gays love the rainbows" yet he gets pissed if Corpos don't throw enough rainbows during pride month rofl!
Ok but if you did a callout post while she is injure in front of people, of course she is going to respond and especially with anger if you were insulting.
If he is drunk enough to form sentances and say 'i want that drunk' the day after he is drunk enough to not assalt op and not say something like that. If he was BLACKOUT maybe id feel different. But idk
Yeah of course but she is delusional. Killed animals already. Number 1 thing people look at in posible childabuse is are they good with animals. He proven to be an animal abuser so sil is right to keep him away. The guy ticks the boxes of sociopath with abuse behavior. That is a step further than someone with this illnes with only not has empathy. This guy has the dangerous form aspd. Those people are good liars so his statement he did not enjoy it you can take with a grain of salt. He killed multiple of the same kind of animal if it was only curiousity he needed only one to statisfy this.
So far yeah! How about you? Also I don’t think it’s necessarily THAT wild a combo. I mean, a lot of ASD people are aro, ace, or aro/ace and ASD AND ASPD are both cluster B. Given that alexithymia is a common symptom of ASD, I feel like the combo of ASD and ASPD is just a few steps further in a sense. There are people in my family who are probably both, undiagnosed…but I would put money on them being both.
I think im the outsider here but OP in the first story was kind of a ding dong for getting so worked up and not just leaving. If she couldn't deal with his weird friendship then she should have walked away instead of being a jealous. It was super obvious he had an intense weird codependent friendship that most people would have issues with....why would op date him?? And then op treating Natalie like garbage when she was pretty much the only innocent person here. Joe is a jerk and an idiot. Op is a dense jealous and vindictive brat, she needs to grow up. Hope Natalie is gone from both of them.
If he cares enough to let you know when he is not available, then he is doing very well with you and his treatment. Good luck he is lucky to have you❤❤!
OP is insecure as hell. She legit wanted Joe to “do something” about the fact that this girl has been part of his family’s life. Like sure, lemme grab my Time Machine and get her outta these photos
SIL insisting OP break up with her bf: She doesn't want OP to move in with her to keep an eye on OP! SIL wants OP to move in so they can use her as slave labor with the baby & housework! Don't fall for it!!😊
I love how people think Op is the a**hole at first 😑 . I hope they wont have the same treatment from their significant other if the have one friend like Natalie lmao I jist wish Op left him the moments she know they had sex even if it was long ago it will be always the biggest problem in their relationship.
Story 1: Why didn't anyone say it out loud? Joe is **IN LOVE** with Natalie! Edit: Emotional affairs is still cheating. 😒
Not really if he doesn’t have act out of physical cheating .
@@Batman-lg2zj ...i have nothing for you... Hope your partner don't do this to you, best regards
@@Batman-lg2zj emotional cheating is still cheating dude
@@Batman-lg2zj wtf... Emotional cheating is a thing
@@Nishanth_mementomori I just don’t believe in it .
Oh jeez, I remember that first one. If Joe and Natalie want to spend the rest of their lives playing "will they, won't they" games with each other then they should just do that and not involve other people.
Also, attacking her partner out of jealousy, that is a derranged guy with an unhealthy obsesion. So glad that OP could get out
My two best friends (male and female) were like this. They were obviously in love but couldn't stay together. Neither were built for monogamy, so they'd date for awhile then separate and bang the world until they eventually got back together. I loved them both but felt zero attraction to either (female bestie and I were both bisexual) and always figured they'd end up together.
Then male bestie got with the girl who would become his baby mama. Sweet girl, I really liked her and she really helped male bestie get himself together. But he kept cheating on her- plus everyone knew he and female bestie were in love. It was a hot mess.
Then female bestie passed away. It was very sudden, she was only 27. We were all devastated, but male bestie and I took it super hard. To be fair everyone did. Female bestie was brillant- like genius IQ, talented, funny, very unique and GORGEOUS like model hot only very goth. She was incredibly popular and her funeral was packed.
Like 1/2 the people there were in love with her but there was always this unspoken thing were male bestie and her were meant to be.
Meanwhile his poor baby mama is there. This is right before her pregnancy, but they were living together and trying. And it comes out that male bestie had cheated... again.
Even in my grief I felt so sorry for baby mama. She didn't deserve that at all. She just feel for a guy that was already in love, but he and female bestie were both too bad at monogamy to stay together, at least at 27/28.
Ten years later and I wonder what would've happened if she was still here. I think they would've gotten togther eventully, but who knows if it would've worked out.
Male bestie cheated on baby mama many more times. She caught him when their kiddo was watching something on his phone and some chicks nudes popped up. They coparent very well together, but are better apart. Male bestie still can't hold down a commited relationship. I know some of it is grief, but some of us just aren't meant to be tied down.
Funnily enough I'm the opposite lol. But I met my amazing partner through make bestie so I can't complain. I think it's all about being honest and open. All of his relationships fail because he can't admit that he doesn't want monogamy- and the one person it might've worked with is gone. I wish he'd just go for open relationships. But then he also gets jealous when girls step out on him- the irony I know lol.
@@lorianabanana6066 why would you want to be best friends with a cheater??
Like I feel Gaslight in that 1st story, to be honest. Like who makes that kind of anal joke in front of their best friend's partner about their best friend? And that's only one thing the fact that the partner didn't shut that thing down and lied and then made OP feel like she was the 1. That was crazy. And then the friends like what the f*** gaslighting at its finest?
If they get married they’ll be divorced within 6 months-why? Because Joe just has average looks…
They both are a match made in hell. He gives off "If I can't have her no one can" bunny boiler vibes and she gives off "He only hits me when he's stressed or upset or angry so it's fine" gaslit af vibes
I give their relations 2 years. One of them will cheat on the other. They will fight and be toxic. I just hope they never have kids.
@@erenssister.5535 Look at the way they act around each other. I imagine they would constantly be breaking up and then crawling back to each other even if one or both cheated.
They seem almost co dependent on each other. Like they feel they would die or be lonely, broken and miserable without each other. The dynamic of their "friendship" is so messed up that I don't think they will ever leave each other.
@@RaspberryHugs nope. Instead they will make other people’s life around them a hell. I pray they never have kids. Because this type of toxic codependency is not good for a child's mental health. They would constantly separate and make up. They will abuse each other and defend each other's toxic behaviour. I am glad op got out soon with minimum damage. I know she is upset but she will see life is so much peaceful without toxic people like them. I am betting their friends will drop them too.
@@erenssister.5535When people who are this enmeshed have kids, many times the child will be a third wheel - they’re so close there’s no room in the relationship for anyone else.
This is one of _those_ anime when it's 10 years later in the F up adults because of it.
Natalie is a hot mess.. "you have no reason to be crazy, we just f'd... So unsupportive." Lmao
She doesn't sound too bright lol.
S1: OP isnt even in a relationship. Shes pretty much a cover for one. Walk away. Hes too in deep with the other chick especially with that history.
Story 1: I hope they rot together. Relationships like these never work out when they finally get together. Life isn't a movie where you pine from afar and date other people and finally get together when the time is right. This is real life, not a fantasy. While they play their little games, they've both left a trail of broken relationships behind them, damaging other people because they can't sort out their issues. People like this are inherently toxic. Rest assured they will ruin each other's lives once they finally do get together.
From your vitriol I can see you are single
@@MrArielK nice incorrect assumption. If you're actually a law undergrad, you should work on that before you actually start practicing law.
@@embluvya I’m actually a 50 year old farmer
Natalie and Joe's relationship is not healthy at all. They do have a co-dependency to each other and it's super creepy.
Committing crime as a teen, because your in a different class from your friend is degenerate. I dont see it working out.@@TiffWaffles
If Joe and Nat want to play the Ross and Rachel game, they can do it on their own time. I would have dumped him right after getting home from his family’s house.
Edit: Joe and Nat deserve each other. May they drive each other crazy with their toxicity until they isolate everyone around them while OP goes onto live her best life and finds a great guy who loves her for who she is.
Edit edit: The way Markee read OP’s last update at 23:00 hurt my heart. Voice acting is 🔥
Holy moly, I literally said that these two reek of Ross & Rachel vibes, lol. Glad I wasn't the only one. 😁
Damn. The fiance knows all that info would be a deal breaker for any partner and kept it from her. Then gets mad when she has a very understandable reaction. Break up! He ain't worth it
Except she told him not to talk about her. How was he supposed to tell her about their past history without talking about her? She basically said "Don't tell me anything about her" and then got mad she didn't know anything about her.
@@SapphWolf yeah sleeping with someone isn't "talking about her" it's needed info. Nice try for an excuse
@@bluedragon8762 Was actually referring to her being all mad that he didn't know how how intertwined Natalie was with his family or how long they'd known each other. She didn't want to hear anything about her so she didn't know anything about her. That's on her.
The knowledge that they had slept together should have definitely been part of the original disclaimer she got before she actually met her. That's on him. Though I just cringe at the idea of trying to have that conversation. "Hey, just thought you should know. I'm currently rooming with my business partner/bandmate/BFF/former FWB. That's not gonna be an issue right?" Ugh, so awkward.
@@SapphWolf ah yes “I fucked someone who is basically my adopted sister, was violent with her boyfriend and have had an on and off relationship with her and even loved her but still entered other relationships”
Please give me an excuse that justifies this
@@SapphWolf it's more awkward seeing the lovey doveyness that encrued and would have been explained by the sex. This wasn't a poly relationship. This was a monogamous relationship where he was still obviously lusting and loving after this "friend" while being with her which is why she requested to stop hearing about Natalie at all. Seeing someone your in love with just romantically tell all these stories about another woman they show signs of love and lust for hurt especially since it isn't you. Friends and love is one thing but he wasn't going "friends" and it broke apart. It's like a gay man using a woman as a beard. You see the way they love another and it breaks apart. It's not fair to the woman which is how they become so hostile in the end. It was never about the "friends" or else she would have been angry at multiple but she never demanded he not see his family etc just the ONE person he obviously was lusting after and shoving that lust and "she will always be above you" obsession in her face. She tried to seperate them a bit because he was seemingly OBSESSED with Natalie. And it shows with how everything ended (not even denying it and all of the friend group not even being surprised so even they knew). He tried to use her as a beard and hurt her because of it. He has no excuse and she wasn't being toxic only being hostile after being burned so many times while not understanding the she was just a cover up. A side piece while he gathered courage to go after this real love.
Op 1 was basically the unwilling “beard” for Joe & Nat’s relationship. I feel really bad for Op. But it’s definitely a blessing she got out and it will get better
Yeah.
"You should consider yourself lucky that I'm going home with you. I could go home with any woman here if I wanted to." Good news bud, you can get one of them to drive you home if that's true.
That really screamed "I have SA'd girls in the past because I think I am hot shit"
RIGHT??!!?
He gave a disclaimer about their relationship…. I would have left from that. That means he KNOWS their relationship is inappropriate
Too true 💯
I remember back when I was really young one of my first boyfriends gave me a disclaimer about "beer". Turns out he was a raging alcoholic
Not really, I had an ex with a ton of guy friends. She was a really sweet girl, never cheated or anything and all the guys saw her as the little sister in the group, but she disclosed it to me before bc she could definitely see guys being jealous about that. Ended up not working out for completely unrelated reasons
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoyShit, I hope you got out ok
@@nicopaoletti3501 that has to do with sexism though she didn't warn about actions just her friends gender
halloween story:
So she “betrayed” him by anonymously venting to people he doesn’t know, but it’s okay for him to outright lying to their friends to turn them against her?? Also, the fact the lies shows he knows he’s in the wrong
And the overly religious counsellor.
Why did OP stay so long? He completely disrespected her, lied about her and was a mooch. Like what value does he bring to the relationship?
If OP is that desperate for a child to raise and provide for, try adopting, or even fostering a child in need of a home. Guaranteed they wouldn't pull that "head of the household" BS
That's not a "friendship." It was way beyond that.
Funny how in that reply in the chat Natalie managed to turn it on OP being jealous as if she had no reason to be. She was making anal jokes to OPs bf and she’s supposed to be okay with that? They’re both as bad as each other. OP dodged a missile with that one.
I'm just waiting for those two to have a wedding and immediately getting divorced because it wasn't "exciting" anymore lol. Those two deserve each other.
Op really dodged a bullet Joe is controlling and Natalie is delusional.
Bro, everything she said about the fiancee in the first story is a big "dump his ass!". The audacity... I'm actually disgusted by him.
I'm stunned she didn't leave him sooner and just wanted to live as his belligerent partner to try to fix him. 😞
That’s so toxic to date someone and get engaged, when you’re madly in love with someone else.
Grow a pair
The Super Bowl story: If I told my wife, who came to pick me up, that I could leave with any other woman at the bar she would tell me to get them to drive me and my friends home then. She would proceed to leave my ass at the bar to go pack my shit up. Hell, I’m sure she would find a way to have divorce papers drafted in that time as well. 🤣
Exactly - and 9/10 the "drunk words are sober thoughts" is 100% true. It does affect some people differently, and even for those people, if that's the case - it is YOUR responsibility to not get drunk and be an ass.
@@Keyonne88when I drink, I get giggly not mean idk how people get so mean
While platonic life partners are absolutely valid, don't try to marry your romantic partner when that spot is already occupied. Ops fiance needs to accept that he won't have a traditional family while continueing to be life partners with his best friend.
True. And im so happy he and Nat get to finally be together instead of both of them having to placate an insecure, whiny OP💜 It was very clear, OP was hella insecure and so freaking jealous of Nat from day 1. I mean, when even his family got angry at her for being an insufferable insecure r*unt, it says a lot.🙄
And the ending where she tries to pretend shes "worried" for Nat because suddenly Joe is controlling and abusive??? Like, you've been angry the whole time because he wasn't putting all his focus on you and he had the audacity to have friends and family that supported his friendship!!🤨🤦♀️ But hes the controlling one, apparently 🙄
@Ophilia Necr the guy literally hit a lot of Vital Information about his relationship with Natalie. Information that would have made any logical person immediately nope out of the relationship if they knew early on. So that strike number one he knew that no one would date him if they knew the whole scope of it which is why he hid it. To is there really anybody who would be okay with their fiance's family constantly bringing up and talkin about the best friend. I mean I'd understand it if the subject involved her. The God all the friends and family constantly bringing up Nat as if she's his actual lover. Also so what if she's insecure. She was rightfully insecure, look at all the information that was hidden from her.
The man even admitted himself that he used her to try to not think about his true love. She even said she felt like a third wheel which means that a lot of their conversations were either inside jokes of things that only they knew about. Have you never been the Third Wheel between two people who were in their own little world even though you are standing right next to them? It effing sucks, now imagine you're the fiance of one of those people. And imagine that this happens every time they're in the same place.
@@jestersreign7530 yah no. Insecurity never looks good on anyone, especially when it comes to somebody whos BEEN a major relationship since childhood like Nat. Even OP admitted Nat tried to include her and involving her in their shows and outings. Ops horrible Insecurity led her to be controlling and so needy that she wanted to control everyone around her to exclude a person who had their own life, their own thing. Op admitted Joe relayed the closeness of the friendship from the start and how important she was to him. Maybe Joe hid further info because he KNEW and could SEE how irrationally jealous OP was. And fyi, I've HAD relationships where bffs slept together and it didn't bother me because im not so fragile and Insecure, much less controlling. 🙄🙄 And those relationships ended because I got tired of the person, not the close friends they had.
@@ophilianecr do the post literally says that the guy admitted he's in love with Natalie and that he was using Opie to try to not think about it. When she posted this in the group chat literally all of the friends between Natalie and Joe got angry at him. Even Natalie's message back to Opie completely disregarded the fact that one they had had sex many times and she had no idea. That the relationship between the two was definitely an emotional affair like relationship. Also it doesn't matter if she was insecure she was justifiably insecure. She was right the entire time so again doesn't matter.
@@jestersreign7530 wow, you're really upset about me being happy for the people who genuinely love each other, to find a way to be happy without an insecure, controlling twat separating them. Are you okay? Do you iften get upset when people leave bad relationships with toxic people and find their happiness??? Like, you do understand that many people break up and try to move while they still have strong emotions, right?? I guess you can't fathom that. This dude felt that love for someone who has been there every year of his life since childhood. That mattered more to him than destroying their deep friendship to attempt a partnership, (he should have tried, but friendship often outlasts relationships when you're young). He thought it didn't work out the time they messed around, so he tried to find a partner elsewhere. He ended up with an insecure little crap who tried to control his FAMILY so they wont be even talk about Nat.
The fact that you think thats appropriate and not controlling or toxic behavior, is gross. Get help for that, if thats what you believe, its a deeper issue than having an opinion. And get help for your anger towards people who don't like toxic behavior and can call it out when its being disguised. You're being really toxic, and you need to stop talking to me with this disgusting behavior
So while I'd normally rebuke someone's jealousy over a man and woman's friendship, it's clear from the first part he hid too much about his closeness with nat.
And judging from the comments, he was always in love with her
Story 1. I don't care if you were struck by a train..in no way would I be ok with my fiance leaving the country to be by his female friend who CLEARLY has a thing for him. You leave, don't bother coming back to me EVER!.
Why do people need to involve others in their romantic bullshit? 😬
Markee hit the emotions so hard in the last update of the first story. Nailed it. 10/10 acting there.
How did OP put up with those two for so long? I wouldve dipped the moment I saw they were in love w each other
1. Story:
OP shouldn't hold onto him, she is a placeholder till Nathalie wants to be together with him
Edit:
Okay maybe not, still co-dependent and really bad communication
And OP will always be at most second place to Nathalie
How are you going to call it an emotional affair but not call it cheating?
A lot of folks genuinely don't understand that PA/EA are two sides of the same coin.
They actually had sex too. I would have dropped him after hearing they had previously hooked up.
... That's sort of what an emotional affair implies, I think?
Doesn’t the word “affair” do that enough already? They mean the same thing
Story 1. You can't marry someone who has a more intimate relationship with their best friend than they will ever have with you.
Story 1 : OP really buried the lead by how late she informed us they slept together.
But also, its not clear how long they were together at the time but she really should have just let him go on work/holiday with Nat. Like why was she fighting to keep the bucket of red flags?
Likewise, when she went to see the family she absolutely made herself look like a bad guy.
People need to stop making their lives worse in these situations by becoming more entwined with frickin lunatics. I think that's just as big a problem here tbh
Yeah OP was no saint. Joe was just too much and overshadowed the ESH
Don't worry, we gave her the business for her comments about his looks. Just from the 'he's just average' all of us were telling her to dump him, not just for her own sake but because of how she sees him.
I just kept wondering if the family was aware of the sexual nature of their relationship
Markee's voice acting starting around 23:00 is 🔥 💜
It felt so real it gave me the chills
Listen for the sinister whisper at 59 mins(approx!)
… acting..?
It made me cringe
Story 1: Nat is 100% just doing damage control. Joe and Nat are both AHs who deserve eachother at this point, just so nobody else has to suffer their crap.
Also, not to be the guy who is like "oh you should make your content this way" but these multi story videos should probably include timestamps/chapters, especially with the length of them.
After the final update I take back the good stuff I said about the friends. Fuck them too.
The Nintendo switch story: what 14 year old needs to be told to have clean hands before using electronics?!
"He couldn't but he's always been a dreamer" was a great line. Good for you, OP
S1....w...t...f .....that so unhealthy and manipulative just horrible
Story 1: How utterly stupid. This is a young person’s kind of fight, because anyone out of their 20’s wouldn’t tolerate this kind of BS. If your SO has a “friend” that is TOO close, it’s time to pack it up and move on. It never improves. This is compounded by about a billion after finding out they’ve been intimate. I can’t recall if OP shared her age, but I’m betting it’s mid-20’s. Someone my age would never tolerate this for a second.
A full candy bar? Did he miss the message that the small ones are for small children. Don't take the fun away from the little ones by overloading them. The big ones are for big kids
First story: I’m all for platonic friends with the opposite gender, good friends even, but that is way too fucking much. The guy should’ve proposed to Natalie instead of wasting OPs time
I think OP in Natalie and Joe story is not a sympathic character. Whyever did she stay in the relationship? RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE.
S1 Ugh, this story. I can't decide if OP is deeply insecure and thus shouldn't marry, or if Joe and Nat should just confess and thus OP shouldn't marry.
Regardless, this dynamic is freaking ridiculous.
Gave honeymoon to ex's sister story - pity OP cancelled the wedding he could have checked if the money he would loose could have covered a smaller wedding and offered it to the sister as a marriage renewal wedding to go with the honeymoon. Then everyone would have had a great time and rubbed it into ex's face.
Could have been another great thank you for saving him from the cheater.
Also - Lightly self defensed him, and "carefully" detained him.😂 absolutely perfect!
I’m very religious. And I do agree with husband being head of the house.
BUT this is a serious responsibility & should be treated as such.
I remind my husband I trust his judgement & to please honor that.
He does.
He often makes decisions that are not his favorite but decides it’s best compromise for us.
It is a large responsibility.
Our marriage counseling was non religious because we wanted to make sure we did not feel guilt or pressure to make things work.
We followed our faith together outside of counseling.
Joe just doesn't want to commit to anyone. He wouldn't be official with Natalie, and now he's dumping op. He is incapable of loving anyone.
Their relationship ruining their friendship might actually give them both the break from each other they need to be healthy people. They need therapy SO bad though
Edit: what’s up with the parents in the switch story on all sides refusing to pay for their kids stuff??? Even OP’s! Shame
If you have a "friend" like that, they will always be in the way of separate romantic relationships. Nat and Joe need to just be together. Don't waste anymore time.
My ex had a co worker named Natalia and I was uncomfortable that he was getting close. After we split his cousin told me that they were banging, he'd caught them but couldn't tell me at the time because I was recovered from surgery.
Story 1: I'm not sure why OP stayed so long. It was pretty clear early on that Joe and Nat had strong feeling for each other and were connected. You can't force someone to live by your standards. There were plenty of Red Flags here. I didn't even have to finish reading the story to know something was up. It seems OP was competing with Nat and steering Joe away from Nat. NEVER compete for a man. They need to make up their own minds what they really want. This is why Joe stated she was manipulative and jealous. OP states she loves him but she NEVER understood him. There is NOTHING salvageable here and she dodged a bullet. Joe and Nat are a thing.
To the mother. I was told it would be hard for me to get pregnant, I was 5 months and had lost so much weight that they had to use an ultrasound to confirm my pregnancy, the doctor told us during my delivery to discuss with my family who to save if it came down to it. We both came through.. 6 years later came my 2nd gift from god and yes I have problems with that one as well, yet once again he was fine. I now have 2 grown and amazing sons. The damage done to my health and body was so worth it. Just have faith, you will be fine.
OP was dead ass the antagonist in a rom com
This is why I don't like rom coms XD
Iknowright? Objectively they're terrible but I can understand why their friends have seemingly forgiven them and glad they finally together. OP got hurt from was trying to take an arrow from cupid for them.
There's usually nothing wrong with friends of the opposite sex. But that's not what this is. They're playing this stupid game of 'we're in a shitty Lifetime movie and are in love but we'll ruin a few partners along the way and act like we're so cute'. My god I hate them so much and I don't even know them.
Story 1
Nah. This sounds like a Lifetime rom from hell, with OP being forced to be assigned the role of the “bitchy fiancée that will get dumped for the main OTP”.
Leave this mess behind. If they were “just friends”, they would have made it very clear with OP.
Did anyone get the vibes that all the characters in story 1 is fucking insane?
I think Sam might be ok.
Story 1, OP is doing too much, they knew so early on that this wasn’t normal yet they stayed and stirred the pot and messed w people when the responsible thing to do was just leave a year ago. Seems like she liked the drama a bit in my opinion to stick around and keep meddling. Leave them to their will they won’t they dance and move on 😂
THANK YOU! I was hoping someone would say this. Yes. Their relationship and situation was problematic BUT He was absolutely right! She was manipulative and jealous and Stirred the pot and drove everyone crazier than they already were. Then she went "Nat's always been nice, I don't know why she freaked out and went crazy like that." TF DO YOU MEAN! You did it when you aired it out publicly! She's just as problematic as the other two in her post.
Oof. Imagine being stuck in the middle of a Ross and Rachel situation & youre Emily from London. Thats fucked
Grew up around alcoholics.
Everyone always let poop go because “they drank. It’s not their fault”.
Well, as an adult. I either
1. Call police & press charges
2. Call them out & start dirty laundry displaying & make them cry.
Either way, it has stopped the drunk poop smack talking.
Guess they do have some control even drunk 🤷♀️🤣
If this was a movie/tv series, Joe & Natalie would be the *romantic* (but actually toxic, kind of like Ross & Rachel?) main character couple who people believe are so just so meant to be (ugh!) and OP is the *demanding & manipulative* (but actually the only sane person lead to believe that she was in a relationship that was going somewhere, kind of like Emily?) soon-to-be-ex who had no idea that she had to go thru all that pain because they are just using her to drive the plot to the *_right direction_*. (◔_◔)
I think op from story 1 was desperate, she was told from the beginning about Natalie but says "I didn't know what I was getting myself into", but when she realized what was going on, she dug in her heels and begged and pleaded to be picked. Girl. Have some self respect.
I feel like OP in the first story was not that I to Joe and had no respect at all, even without Natalie they were a bad match.
It feels like she mainly cried because she "lost"
Everyone on Reddit is kind of missing that and empathising with OP despite her seeming to want a 9-5 salary man and to find Joe controlling.
JOE AND NATALIE OP needs to get out of the way. She is just a placeholder. Joe already has a mistress.
It doesn't really matter if OP is right to be jealous over their relationship, because she is jealous. That won't change, and he told her in the beginning what was what w/ Nat re: her importance in his life. The back and forth passion and drama that IS a relationship like this, can be hot and heavy and euphoric, in the short term. In the long term, it is exhausting, and demoralizing. Wrong or right, OP cannot handle it and needs to disengage to protect herself and then stay single for a while. She was jealous and hateful towards Nat before she even had the info that should enrage or worry her. She needs to work on her self esteem. Just my opinion. I REALLY didn't like this OP, I think they were all made for each other.
I think adult children living with their parents need to get a job and help pay the bills.They all need to agree on how much each need to pay.I don’t think it’s fair for the parents to continue paying for everything, when the adults can help financially, and specially when now everything it’s so expensive. It’s important they all start contributing financially to the household.
This is less trickle truthing and more like getting blasted with the hose everytime🙄 People aren't evil side characters in the romance movie you call a life
Natalie and Joe need to decide if they are together or not. Do not put others in the middle. OP, if you hadn't been played all along by him, you would be sympathetic that someone your fiance "cared about" was in the hospital, but you weren't given the chance to be kind because he screamed "wolf" to often. Lose him. Please, for your own sake.
Edit, some words.
How can Natalie keep choosing to be around with someone who TRIED TO KILL HER DATE. I didn't think she did much wrong with her until that. Just get with him and keep yourselves out of the dating pool so you can't make anyone else miserable.
I’ll comment on the Halloween story since no one else is focused on that one (for good reason 😂). We are the big Halloween decorating house in our location. People come from hours away to walk through it. The inside is decorated, outside is very decorated. We serve the public food and drinks for free. People are allowed into the house to walk through. Pretty much nothing is off limits. We spent thousands on decor if I’m being honest. I have three twelve footer Home Depot decorations that ranged from $300 to $500 usd each alone-not counting the plethora of other animatronics and decor. I have a $300 cotton candy machine for that night. We have an animatronic bartender at a lit coffin bar “serving” adults who didn’t drive cinnamon whisky spiked apple cider. I serve around 7 gallons of chili soup with crackers first come first serve until we run out. We have a hot chocolate bar for kids with electric dispensers that get refilled as needed. This is very much a “I grew up poor” thing for my husband and I. Neither of us had much of a childhood. I literally had to be the adult because I had unstable irresponsible child-like stupid hot irredeemable fuq around parents who could not keep their crap together for anything. Still can’t even as older people. They are both absolute train wrecks. I had to be the one with sense and responsibility because neither of them ever could. I was the one lecturing them like naughty children when they lied, stole, did hardcore drugs, cheated, broke so many hearts that I lost count, etc. I was five years old and having to get between them physically fighting and smacking each other around because both stupid hot idiots couldn’t stop screwing around with everyone they came across. Pun intended 🤮. It was a regular occurrence that someone was getting caught in bed with someone else and a physical fight would happen and someone’s clothes were getting thrown down the highway so that whoever they were with would be caught without clothes to go home in. Then they ended up broken up for good but still nothing changed-it was just with new people that these things happened. Husband grew up with massive physical abuse in his home. His step father would beat his mom up and then, still angry, go looking for more victims. This was my husband until he learned to run away at night until the dude passed out. He would walk to an all night arcade and play games until he couldn’t stay awake anymore. His step father would beat the family dog instead of him if he couldn’t find him. At some point after that started happening my husband (a child) unhooked the dog’s chain and let him run away to save him from the abuse. So yeah, we do holidays so very big. Maybe it’s an escape mechanism, or maybe it’s a way to reclaim innocence lost or a broken childhood. But the difference is that we worked out butts off to make these things happen, we didn’t expect a handout at someone else’s expense like the OP in that story. These things came after all other responsibilities are met and were acquired over time. And our kids never experienced what we did as children. They had a happy stable home and everything that they needed. Pretty much everything they wanted as well. It was a cushy life for them. But they did get that balanced with chores and good school work expected etc. They had common childhood rules.
story 1: poor op, none of this is her fault, it hurts to be used, the ex & "best friend" kept a lot from her. it hurts but her life would be worst married to him, he's a coward. Take it as a learning experience, know what you don't want & what to watch out for.
all that's left to do, have your pity party, dry your tears, hit the gym, salon & find new friends
I think one of the comments was right about what those two really wanted. They wanted the thrill of the chase of each other without the worry about the commitment for the risk that it would fail. If that wasn't the case they would stick to just a friends-with-benefits situation. But instead they date other people and knowingly or unknowingly interfere with each other's relationship. I think on a subconscious level they know that they will not work out if they date for real.
She was a dramatic weirdo, too, she should have dumped him instead of being belligerent and trying to force it to work. She was a brat to his friend who was actively trying to make things work for them. It's just goofy she waited so long to break up with him and still wanted to date him even though she called him "average"...
@@mimilapinYeah that was a small but real red flag. It's one thing to acknowledge other people may say he average (most people are by definition) but to nonchalantly say you yourself think your fiance is "mid" rises the question why he's even your fiance. It certainly not because they have a close stable relationship.
I almost died from post partum preeclampsia I got worse after birth. Inwas healthy and healthy weight. now I am stuck on high blood pressure meds 2 years later. It was so traumatic I went and removed my tubes to never go through pregnancy since I was sick from the day I got pregnant threw up every day until birth. Yup basically I went and closed shops
OP should have left the situation when she found out he was living with another female. Im nit going to say its impossible for a girl and dude to just be friends bc yhey really can and they can live together without having sex. But when you step into a situation and your not comfortable leave. Just leave.
"My boyfriend said he doesn't care about some petty words and tell her to manage her own health"
It's so ironic to me that the person with ASPD is being more empathetic than the person who doesn't have ASPD.
Pregnancy is hard. It's not magic, even when there aren't serious health concerns.
#1 reddit has taught me.. never ever, ever co-own a home with someone before the wedding has occurred + 6mo #2 keep your financials separate 💯 the entire marriage. #3 if you inherit money during the marriage, just assume your marriage is over unless you give all of it to your spouses family.
Don't take this the wrong way, but the logical conclusion to that seems to be don't even marry or share property at all. Seems like you would be just living together with the wedding being a big party at that point.
Lord, spoken just like the crazy girl who his banging her ex. Sounds super rational honestly. All though, I never would have posted in the group chat. I would have quietly broken up with him. I don't like drama. My relationship is between me and my SO, not a group of people.
Hate it when redditors comment as if they know exactly what these people are like, have gone through, or may feel.
They be getting the slimmest of insights into a random persons life and then feel like they not just deserve to know everything that happens, every question of theirs answered but also feel like they know best.
All we, as people who read about these things, can do is assume. Assumptions are just that though.
...
On another note, these weird "No babe, you're bossing" comments (regardless of gender).
Weird af.
You don't know this person. It's nice you want to leave a uplifting comment but that's a little.... off, weird, to me personally even gross. That's sounds either fake or like you want to make it sound as if you've known this person for a long time. Both of which weirds and creeps me out seeing how they commented on an anonymous platform. Creepy.
You can sue the parents of the kid who broke your switch in small claims court.
1) Yup, not like a sister unless a very perverted family. It seems clear to me OP needs to quit this guy because she is or at least will always feel like she is the 3rd wheel in this relationship and be jealous. He was not honest as he should have been about his past. OP will always be worried that she is running a distant 2nd between the 2 females in his life. Since he can't seem to actually commit to how to behave and communicate with his fiancee to make her feel comfortable and valued, it's time to move on.
After update: Happy to hear OP was able to learn more, and recognize how messed up her former fiance is and that he needs to be an X. Shame on him for involving OP when he knew he was in love with this other girl. I hope OP does have fun with the proceeds from the ring. I feel sorry for the other girl for how she now probably wind up with him. He is a schmuck, jealous and controlling, who is not averse to violence.
After final update: OP needs to stop drinking and take care of herself, therapy is a good idea. I'm sorry that she was hurt and feels a lack of support, and that her friends are closer to the X than her so she feels even more unsupported. A painful but valuable lesson, it will soon be just a brief part of life in the past.
2) I think he needs some counseling to help him deal with his fears and guilty emotions. I hope despite all the bad things they are going through now that all will be well and they can be happy after baby is here.
After update: I'm glad OP and her husband had a good talk and he is feeling a bit relieved and less anxious after that.
I remember there being a post from Natalie ripping o.P apart for her complete one side incomplete story
1:42:50 I am begging people to learn what words like “gaslighting” means before using them 😭 to gaslight someone means to psychologically manipulate someone to the point where they question their own sanity
for example, imagine this scenario: person A sees their partner, person B, cheating on them. A confronts B, and B denies it, saying that they weren’t even at that place, and they must’ve been seeing things - after all, A has been working long hours, so maybe they’re not doing well mentally, or maybe just needs to get some sleep
Something like that is textbook gaslighting
After typing all that, I realize I could’ve just used an example of my own: I had a roommate in college who would constantly ignore me whenever I tried to interact with them, and I was worried about them, but didn’t want to pressure them or anything, so I never pushed them. One day we had a big argument, and they claimed that _I_ was the one ignoring _them_ when they were only trying to be polite/kind and say hi or talk to me. That was them (trying to) gaslight me, but it didn’t work very well since I’d talked to my parents several times about how I was worried about them and how they ignored me.
Joe and Natalie story : OP, don't waste any more time with Joe. You can't win in a situation like that and will just have years of misery and disappointment trying. You deserve a man who has you as his No. 1 and you will never have that with Natalie clinging on to his coat tails. Cut your losses, have a good cry and move on. Good luck.
Kinda related I HATE when people share phone/address etc... that they have no business doing!!!
I work at Walmart and $300 is a full cart of groceries for a family of 4 what the fuck were they making him pay for?? And he STILL spotted them for baby stuff when the 2 ADULTS with joint income couldn't budget. 1100 a month and he spotted whats probably more than 3k biweekly between 2 adults.
People who say "it's your culture I have to respect that" honestly just say that because they don't respect the culture but don't want to seem like a bigot.
The bf at 45 min told a lot of stories about halloween but didn't actually sit down and have a conversation about plans or budgeting for it op is completely nta but would be better off single
My wife and I go big for Halloween and do full size candy bars. We’ve collected our decorations over the years not just on a whim. And we start getting candy before October. It takes quite a bit of planning to be festive on a budget.
I called it I knew the sister didn't break the switch. It was the friend and was so obvious by the way the sister reacted.
Joe was not being open and honest with OP about his most significant human relationship. A marriage shouldn't begin based upon lies by omission. Joe is tripping if he believes his relationship with Natalie mirrors that of siblings.
This is great, a new video to stay up until 12am listening to!
S1: Where are these people's brains and pride these days? For God's sake!!!
i have borderline personality disorder and i like it when folks actually stop and listen to the truth and not those that are prejudiced. ive been with my husband for a lil over 20 years oh and i listen to different music for different moods and write or paint or do other crafts to calm myself down.
Halloween... who on earth goes into debt for Halloween Candy?
Anytime I read the shit partners or bad pregnancy subreddits, I'm so thankful that my husband is supportive and loving and I had a good pregnancy and delivery
I love it, If you don't support the gays in exactly the right way your a homophobe. Fucking priceless. And Markie just chef's kiss with the sarcastic "just throw rainbows about, the gays love the rainbows" yet he gets pissed if Corpos don't throw enough rainbows during pride month rofl!
Ok but if you did a callout post while she is injure in front of people, of course she is going to respond and especially with anger if you were insulting.
Love how so many people are like "ohhh poor OP" as if she isn't a horrible person herself. Joe sucks and OP sucks. Screw em both.
What did OP do wrong other than not want her fiancé to be obsessed with another woman?
If he is drunk enough to form sentances and say 'i want that drunk' the day after he is drunk enough to not assalt op and not say something like that. If he was BLACKOUT maybe id feel different. But idk
The list of reasons somebody would want a partner with ASPD made me smile. It feels refreshing to finally see a positive thing or two said about it.
Yeah of course but she is delusional. Killed animals already. Number 1 thing people look at in posible childabuse is are they good with animals. He proven to be an animal abuser so sil is right to keep him away. The guy ticks the boxes of sociopath with abuse behavior. That is a step further than someone with this illnes with only not has empathy. This guy has the dangerous form aspd. Those people are good liars so his statement he did not enjoy it you can take with a grain of salt. He killed multiple of the same kind of animal if it was only curiousity he needed only one to statisfy this.
Sunset flag! Fellow Aro/ace with ASD?
@@rinpaisys ASD and ASPD, yeah haha. It's a wild combo. Shocked to find someone else like me in Markees comments, having a good day?
So far yeah! How about you? Also I don’t think it’s necessarily THAT wild a combo. I mean, a lot of ASD people are aro, ace, or aro/ace and ASD AND ASPD are both cluster B.
Given that alexithymia is a common symptom of ASD, I feel like the combo of ASD and ASPD is just a few steps further in a sense.
There are people in my family who are probably both, undiagnosed…but I would put money on them being both.
1what is that condition seriously i havent heard of it so im curious @rinpaisys
I think im the outsider here but OP in the first story was kind of a ding dong for getting so worked up and not just leaving. If she couldn't deal with his weird friendship then she should have walked away instead of being a jealous. It was super obvious he had an intense weird codependent friendship that most people would have issues with....why would op date him?? And then op treating Natalie like garbage when she was pretty much the only innocent person here. Joe is a jerk and an idiot. Op is a dense jealous and vindictive brat, she needs to grow up. Hope Natalie is gone from both of them.
If he cares enough to let you know when he is not available, then he is doing very well with you and his treatment. Good luck he is lucky to have you❤❤!
OP is insecure as hell. She legit wanted Joe to “do something” about the fact that this girl has been part of his family’s life. Like sure, lemme grab my Time Machine and get her outta these photos
SIL insisting OP break up with her bf: She doesn't want OP to move in with her to keep an eye on OP! SIL wants OP to move in so they can use her as slave labor with the baby & housework! Don't fall for it!!😊
Exactly. The more she separates her from support and people to stand up to her BS the easier it will be to have OP as a slave.
That second story is so sweet, they'll be lovely parents
I love how people think Op is the a**hole at first 😑 . I hope they wont have the same treatment from their significant other if the have one friend like Natalie lmao
I jist wish Op left him the moments she know they had sex even if it was long ago it will be always the biggest problem in their relationship.
Joe thinks of Nat as a sister, but they still occasionally hook up. Sweet Home Alabama.