I want to marry someone but my parents won't agree. What should I do?
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
- Many of our HOTD members email us about marriage. It's one of the most important decisions we make in our lives but some parents oppose the marriage choice of their children due to cultural differences or other reasons, some of them invalid. This leaves the children in a difficult position trying to balance their relationship with their parents and wanting to marry the person they have chosen.
This beautiful video advises those children on how to approach such a situation if your parents disapprove of your marriage choice. If you have enjoyed this video, please share and forward it!
This is based on presumption that the parents always want the best for their children. This is not the case all of the time. Parents just like any human being look after their own best interest and at times are just dumb stupid. Please leave this narration of Parents are always right on the side and treat them as human beings who can be wrong.
I second this
I agree with you…. Sometimes it’s racism or ethnocentrism
Finally someone spoke the truth. I want to speak to someone who understand from religion but everyone is saying the same thing.
I agreed 💯
Exactly
Actual Muslim parents shouldn't be worried about the risq since Allah is the provider!
If the person is the one who you always wanted to marry then marry her. Don’t let your parents make you not marry the one who you want to marry if the person is good for you.
I didn't know this could happen to me one day yaa Allah please soften there heart for us....Ameen
Ameen. Both of you should keep making Du'a as long as you guys believe it's worth fighting for.
Agreed, may Allah soften their hearts and make it easy for you both.
Aaameen ✨
Same situation , ALLAH plz make it easy for us
The Best video, complete and Short, i have ever found related to this question. ❤️
Can we please stop saying parents are always right?? Even if we are 40s they will push us to marry in their own choice.
Alhumdullilah such great advice
Alhamdulillah. Shukran brother...
Am a 25 yo girl.. am a doctor…One of my muslim long term friend wanted to marry me…and we both informed our parents..my parents are not agreeing..they are like he is tall…not so good looking…ultimately he is just a MBA graduate….a doctor should marry atleast from a business family or a professional…..i feel my parents are wrong …in this case
Same situation sister
Actually the story got a twist recently..my dad said me his intuition says that this guy is not right for me..i cried a lot and did isthihara..within few days my bf started showing his true side which was unacceptable.he started cursing & wishing me bad luck because am not ready to leave my parents.may Allah forgive him . But Alhamdulillah i realised & said him goodbye forever..
Brother do isthihara namaz ..Allah will show you the right path..Inn sha Allah
@@truthsonface1619❤
Alhmdulillh thanks for a great advice ❤
Jazzakamullahu Hairan. Best of the Best
My parents reject my choice of spouse because he is divorced. MashAllah he is a very kind and pious man - he's even a Hafiz! Yet they absolutely refuse to let me marry him just because he is divorced! Please pray for me.
May Allah help you Ameen
@@Salmannnn. jazakAllah khair
Just get married to him if you think that is best
@@PakandtheFlo InshaAllah I do want that, but I do not want to look for a different wali besides my father - he would never forgive me. So I am trying to be patient and praying they change their mind InshaAllah. Please pray for me
Ishāq ibn Rāhaway رحمه الله said:
“Divorcing a righteous woman has nothing to do with being dutiful to your parents!”
[Al-Ādāb Ash-Shar’iyyah: 1/447]
Abu Hatim Al-Muzani narrated that:
The Messenger of Allah said:
"When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad). If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad)." They said: "O Messenger of Allah! What if there was something about him?" He said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry him." (And he (pbuh) said this) three times
Jami' at - tirmidhi 1085
Great advice. Thankss
Well explained👏
JazakAllahu khair
My parents are like you are only 19, doesn't matter if u r in love or relationship, what matters is the society asking my parents for letting my marriage at young age.
I feel so depressed! 🥺
I’m going through the same thing Insha’allah everything will be alright
@@shameenafiza312 In Shaa Allah ✨
Th?
By age 15 in Sharia, you are an adult man or woman. Your angel is recording your deeds (as childhood non-accountability is gone). Thus you can go to an Imam and get a Sharia nikah. It's your Islamic right to pick your own spouse. Go for halal. Your parents don't understand the haraam pressures on our generation. Let parents be upset for a little bit after your marriage, then they'll get over it and be happy for you. Make dua to make it all easy for you.
@@MyName123. Jazakallah Khairan!
But, I really tried hard to make my parents understand they don't, even the guy sent marriage proposal, they rejected and said that it can be possible only after I'm a graduate.
So if we cant make nikah how to save us from zina in todays world its very difficult
Thankyou so much bhai ji apne mujhe mere khoye hue pyar se milvaya or meri family ko shadi ke razi kraya 15 din me boht shukria bhai ji ka
Jin bhai ji ne mera kam kiya h unka number meri hi profile pr lgyaa hua h maine jo bhi pareshan h vo call message kr skta h
I am an unmarried 25 yr old girl and want to marry a man who is divorced but my parents are not aggreing. He is good have good character, morals and have good reputation.
i have the same situation, any advice?
Salam. Do Istikharah Salat before making any major choice or decision.
Such a great one
Thank you
Assalam waleikum, I'm a girl who wants to revert to Islam, inshallah, I'm so happy that I found the right way, alhamdulillah. But there are a few problems: I have vitiligo on my face and body, and I like a muslim boy, who's the best person I've ever met, because he understands me and he doesn't stop at my appareance. However, his parents and one of his sisters don't support us, because I have vitiligo and usually they say some harsh things about me, but I'm sure that one day they'll see the beauty of my heart, rather than my skin. I love all his family unconditionally, and I understand that they're not used to see my skin, but maybe they need time and they'll understand. Isn't the beauty of heart that's important and not what "what will the society say?". I'm trying to be a better person day after day, I'm not angry with them, cause maybe they just need time, I'm very patient and I hope the best. I don't want to be thrown away just for my vitiligo, I want to try my best and not give up, because I finally found the person that accepts me for who I am. I hope his parents will love me, like I love them. Another thing is that my parents won't accept my convertion, but I know that Islam is the right way, and nothing and no one is more important than Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'la). What should I do? I don't want that guy to stop talking with his parents and neither he does want, I want to have his family's approval and make the members of his family even closer to each other.
My boyfriend is a muslim and im not
We about to plan our future but suddenly his parents disagree with that
His father is an imam
What to do
I’m a 25 year old Indian girl who wants to get married to a 19 year old Mexican convert. And as usual my parents don’t agree . He is waiting to talk to them to ask for my hand but they just don’t want to hear him out and they keep sending marriage proposals my way asking me to compromise. How can I just randomly pick someone else? All they care about is age, wealth and how he would support me in the future.
I have a similar situation
i’m in a similar situation, i’m pakistani trying to marry a white revert, desi parents broo. Praying for u tho sister 🤞🏽🤞🏽
@@sanamalik8058 how many time do sex before marriage
@@sanamalik8058 Yes same here.. all they care about is society 😑 what society would say if we marry our daughter to a revert.
How he can support you is important
@hadithoftheday how can i ask questions and get answers
My parents don’t want me to get married to a divorcee? I’m opened to it I want to get married but they are being an obstacle in my way. 😔
Follow the Quran forget the culture follow what our prophet said and you will be happy
the prophet married a divorcee?
@@nouralsh5907 yea
Salam. You have to consider her age and whether she has children. Also, why she got divorced or was divorced.
Salam. I know a yemeni woman who’s husband had a divorce with her and left her with 2 children. She did not know alot about Islam so the kids were quite out of touch with the deen. She met a Syrian immigrant man through friends who was looking for marriage , and they got married.
The 2 kids ages around 10 and 7 had their lives transformed and are so happy. The husband taught the wife to pray & the boy child just started highschool in the Uk , same year as my little sister. I hear he went from a naughty kid to waking up every fajr praying , eating breakfast then biking it to school. And even now as Ramadan starts I see him and his stepdad in the masjid together like best friends for taraweeh.
It won’t be easy but if you are sure this is the right decision you should go for it with all ur heart
Sheikh, you haven't talked about the situation where the person I want to marry is non Muslim but willing to revert to Islam but my parents still bar me from getting married.
Thank you
This is completely against any islamic teaching and if you have a mosque near you i’d head there and speak to a sheikh. They can guide you on how to address your situation based on your unique circumstances & even officiate your marriage. Wishing you the best!
I think he has not specifically mentioned this case but there are millions of different cases so its nearly impossible to address all.
But if we see the bugger picture, Sheikh talked about the Valid Points, and its not a valid point as the person is going to be muslim. I think the valid point will be that "Is the person only accepting islam to get married or is he/she really want to convert and learn the teachings and principles of Islam. But yes, its better to ask your nearby shiekh
Same
So why hasnt she become muslim yet??
@@salamsiam7938 please remove your picture not just for others but for your own benefit. You only gain sin when non-mahrams see your picture.
May parents are denying for the one whom i like and I'm not in position to leave her at all... They are opposing because of the skin issue, she has vitiligo disease, but parents are saying that what the people will say? We'll be not facing the people and it would be disrespectful for us if you get married with that girl. I'm mentally so much disturbed, even though the girl is religious and of the same community in which I'm with respect to culture.
What should i do, if i oppose the parents, my father gets confused and cursing me alot 😢
Sir g what can I do ?my father is agree with me .
My situation is weird, I want to marry a guy who is nice and religious but had a messy past leading to a child outside of marriage, my parents r not agreeing because of the child, even tho he repented and focus on his religion now. Should I listen to my parents or continue to marry him?
What if my parents doesnt support me of becoming a professional athlete?i tried and tried explaining to them how this stuff is important to me as well but the still dont want to support what shoudl i do?
Listen my parents told me the same thing, they want me to be a doctor. I’m now more interested in business and tech. But when I was younger I wanted to be an athlete. My dad use to say “do you think If a professional team wanted to sign you I’d say no?” So basically they will tell you know until ur successful in it. Anyways that’s my 2 cents.
@@awadbuisir thanks i havent thought it dat way
I am 22 my families are Christians..i converted to Muslim 2 and half years ago i want to get married but my family didn't allow we are still together for almost 4 years secretly. Now we decide to have nikah without my family's permission can i be able?
Will it be valid?
Can I get examples over this..??
Running from the same situation and looking for a solid example which had happened in past era..
There are 2 hadith over this as far as I know.
(1) once a girl was married off to a wealthy sahaba by her parents. The girl approched to prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and described the situation that she wanted to marry a poor sahaba, but her parents didn't approve. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam nullified the marriage and told the girl to marry poor sahaba she wanted to marry earlier.
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said , " Lam nar mutahabbayne Mislan nikah "
(There is nothing like marriage For two who love one another)
(2) story of nikah of umm sulaim (R.A.)
She married a revert, who reverted to Islam to marry her. But he then proved himself as one of the best Muslims.
RUclips bayaan is available for this hadith.
Hope this helps..
I'm facing this 😢I want him they saying I'm young only 19 when I'm turning 20 they give me emotional break mail pls help me they not convinced .
Why didn’t you give a single Hadith or Quranic verse reference supporting what you say in the videos?
How can I ask question?
What if your parents say you can't live anymore with us after you marry and we don't want to see you anymore after. What should you do then?
Take advice from wise peopel
same goes to female?
Simple use hand
Parents never understand
The girls parents do not want me because I am black. The parents want her to marry someone from there culture. We are Muslim I have a job college degree. Can we just go to imam and get Married we want to be married and have a kids in a halal way inshallah
Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Is it Haram for a brother and a sister to have affection for each other and will to marry someday?
Sir plz guide us in hindi also 🙏
What if the girl is of another religion, cast and culture? I think parents have a role to play and they will only refuse when they can sense something. Respect their decision
he clearly said that u should ignore them and get married only if they have no valid reason
and since when does culture have any importance? it's all about religion, and for muslim men they're only allowed to marry a muslim, jewish or christian girl
There are 2 hadith over this as far as I know.
(1) once a girl was married off to a wealthy sahaba by her parents. The girl approched to prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and described the situation that she wanted to marry a poor sahaba, but her parents didn't approve. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam nullified the marriage and told the girl to marry poor sahaba she wanted to marry earlier.
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said , " Lam nar mutahabbayne Mislan nikah "
(There is nothing like marriage For two who love one another)
(2) story of nikah of umm sulaim (R.A.)
She married a revert, who reverted to Islam to marry her. But he then proved himself as one of the best Muslims.
RUclips bayaan is available for this hadith.
Hope this helps..
Well um in relationship with sikh girl...um kashmiri muslim and she's from Delhi India presently in dubai...i told her lakhs of times to make ur way apart but she only wants me in her lyf..now I talked to my parents they agreed and said complete the exams and then do what u think is gud for u.. my heart beats so fast, so much anxiety.. she's to make her parents ready for all this.. conversion etc etc how can they allow it to happen...and i won't do it by eloping...
@@dr.shamamansuri1596 what are the sources for both?
@@condoriano3533 Source is hadith.. don't know the hadith name. .but any authentic hadith book would probably have this
Did u also mentioned that a never married girl cannot marry without the consent of wali?
No… The consent had to have a Reason. “1 valid reason which can be said is that he is not muslim”
the one who asked the question is a man tho
My parents doesn't want me to marry the guy i want because we are family
We are not even biological family ohh we are family friend
I don't even know what to do
Even me i have that problem i don't know what should i do
As salaam Alaykum brother can u tell me a Dua or a juz for my adult son and daughter to have a good Muslim spouse plz JazakAllah khairan
Rabbi inni Lima anzalta ilayya min khairin faqir
Parents don't understand
I want to married a girl that her father was my elder sister former husband. Is it good for us to married in Islam
I think you can as long as your sister is not her mother.
I love a guy who Dj and I want marry him but my parents are against it .I have tell them so much time that he isn't like the rest of Dj and I don't know what to do .what can I do to make they agree because that what I am looking forward too.I need just a yes from.
Dj is a good profession! What does he do other than DJing? What are your parents thinking about the dj thing?
Is Muslim? Does he play music? Most music is haram. Maybe if he started a halal business or job, your parents might reconsider. May Allah Guide you all. Ameen.
DJ is a haraam music job with haraam income, so he had $0 halal money to support you? Negotiate with him to get a 100% halal job first, then you'll negotiate with your parents to marry him if his DEEN and AKHLAQ (character) is good. Ask around about him, especially noticing what type of lifestyle his friends are into (mostly masjid friends, or mostly unemployed alcoholic wifebeater friends?). INVESTIGATE him before making a decision and PRAY ISTIKHARA asking Allah to show you truth about him.
So common among ''cultural Muslims'' and not Muslims according to what Allah (SWT) mentions in the Holy Quran and how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) showed us. Let us stop being people pleasure and seek Allah's (SWT) pleasure alone. May Allah (SWT) bless us with beneficial knowledge with wisdom, ameen.
AsSalamaAlakum, brother how if our son like a girl who knows religion not so searious, she lives alone not with her parents and the reason she dont like her parents house because father marry twice and financial problems, she have so less education and work not so clear what, she stay sometime in cheap hotels and sometime in rented rooms. She ask my son money while he not yet start earning also. So he give from his poket money and sometime ask.extra from his mom without tellingbthat he is giving her. What to do and how to explain him.
If you know some quranic readings or asma e husnah plz can share to me. And give me advice too. Since he met this girl he is wasting his time and not focus as well
Asalmualikum well in reality ....we dont know about that girl...first make sure to know about her ...arrange a meeting or else ask her do u want to marry my son ....and if ur son is financially stable (earning) and can handle the responsibility then can think further..if not we will have bad consequences in the future...
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم
👏👏👏💯
Someone I want to marry had allowed his mother to get him engaged but he has regretted his decision. He has told her he would like to break it and marry me but she is adamant her honour and pride in everyone’s eyes comes first. He isn’t happy and he would go ahead with it as he feels he is at fault for sending her Pakistan in the first place. He hasn’t met the girl or wasn’t there for the engagement. I have waited patiently for 7 years and made lots of dua for it to work out. What should I do? How does one keep their mothers honour but not go ahead with this engagement he regrets
@Saboora I can relate 😭 i am Bengali and he’s Pakistani.. his given up and is getting married next month.. my hearts breaking. May Allah help us. Parents make it so hard. And it’s always the girl suffering.. i waited many years and had a lot of patience to now see the person I love leave me for someone he hasn’t met
@Saboora Bengali Muslim from the Uk.. I feel for you. I have never left his side in the last 7 years and he has now turned his back on me. Because of his mum telling him things that she promised not to tell.. I just feel helpless
@Saboora ji 😢 I’ve been praying lots.. I’m so scared all the time
@Saboora remember me in ur duas my love as I will remember u in mine in Shaa Allah x
@Saboora thank you lovely 😢 May Allah help us and accept our duas x
Assalamualaikum How can i ask my question? Please help me
You can ask Sheikh Assim on his website. HOTD has a website, Facebook Group and Page.
Can a girl marry without the consent of wali? if the guy is in Deen, he pray 5 times salah and Tahajjud too, he know the rights and responsibilities, and has akhlaq. But parents don't agree and give unislamic reasons.
Same in my case 😭
I NEED AN ANSWER TO THIS SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER
same i want to know
You are allowed they should fear allah and the sins marriage saves you from sins
If your desire.is strong they can't refuse especially if fear falling into Zina
caste differences
As a female, why cant marry a non-muslim men. He can have his belief and i can have my belief.
Salam. There are a lot of reasons but the main one is that it is forbidden by Allah in The Quran. So no exceptions. You can search on RUclips or Google or Facebook and people will give you the reasons. Usually the man is the head of household and controls things. Also, children come from their father.
because in islam of parents were to divorce it’s the father responsibility to take care of the children and raise them. very opposite to western culture. that’s why man needs to be muslim so children will grow up as one
also men r in charge of household
Me telling my father the man I want to marry
Where is my knife
Same here🤣
Is this same for a girl?
i don't think so
If a guy loves a girl who is a new muslim and she is becoming practicing each day Alhamdulillah... And then the guy speaks about the girl to his parents. But they reject her saying that this marriage can cause a lot of problems because her parents and family are non Believers. So the guy says that we can pray for their guidance too, and if her parents revert to Islam, will they (the guy's parents) still don't allow him to marry her? And his parents say that yes you still can't marry her because the disbelieving people and criminals can harm both the families if they all revert, because they (the disbelievers) won't understand the meaning of guidance. They will say these are traitors and they can attack the girl and her family and also the guy and his family too. So the guy's parents can't afford such problems. Therefore they are advising the guy not to get married to that girl even if her entire family gets reverted. This made the guy really upset. And now he doesn't know what to do, because even if he prays for the girl's family's guidance and they got reverted, the guy's parents won't allow this marriage as it can cause a lot of problems and controversies. Please advise what this guy should do.
There are 2 hadith over this as far as I know.
(1) once a girl was married off to a wealthy sahaba by her parents. The girl approched to prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and described the situation that she wanted to marry a poor sahaba, but her parents didn't approve. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam nullified the marriage and told the girl to marry poor sahaba she wanted to marry earlier.
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said , " Lam nar mutahabbayne Mislan nikah "
(There is nothing like marriage For two who love one another)
(2) story of nikah of umm sulaim (R.A.)
She married a revert, who reverted to Islam to marry her. But he then proved himself as one of the best Muslims.
RUclips bayaan is available for this hadith.
Hope this helps..
Yes this type of nikaah can cause lot of problems. even if you are strong enough to face all these problems, but what your aged parents will do? They will face lot of problems without any fault.
Best solution is get away with her to another country.
Mashallah
when it comes to marriage advice muslims or quran based advice is the biggest red flag🚩
im 14 why tf am i watching this😭😂
😂😂
Same my story just cuz of some culture and cast my parents ignoring me and my insisting. They weren't even able to give me a valid reason to reject that girl. Now I only have 2 days to convince them else she will be engaged by someone else. I tried many times and kept insisting with respect.
There is no elder in my family which I think will take my side. Now what I do🥀🥀🥀.....
@@theduosman5741 condition became more worse I tried to insist my family but they did wrong with me and with her too. While I was on job they called her and said to her stop following me and many things related to her respect.💔
Then she called me and beg me to follow my parents and ruined her respect. What was my fault just nikkah💔? Anyway in her eyes my respect is gone too she scares from me but still believes in my love. I'm blocked from everywhere so I just came back home and went to the gym. To stabilize my mental health. At night the whole night wake-up wasn't able to sleep. After fajr I try to beg my mother again to touch her feet to stop their cruelty and not destroy my life. But she didn't even show a bit care I tell I was hungry from days crying for the righteous. Where were you guys no one even wiped my tears. Anyway after continuous insistence they put their ego and culture between them. I said Allah Hafiz to her she said no problem there were many who live alone life no problem if your drama love not over.
I was speechless I said where is the mother's love? I picked my bag laptop and left the home. Now already out of the city. Another city will search for a job and live for some and then the country. It's easy for everyone to say Mr stupid and to my story but bro it's very complicated to be there and remember all the shit happening. Today another family will come and obviously she is a beautiful and decent girl they will fix the engagement or nikkah and me🥀.....
I closed my chapter of life and opened a new book to write ✍️. Now I'm on my way to another city. I have skills I'll find job interviews and other stuff.
After trying to write my name in history.
People say the father is Jannah gate mother is Jannah
I have just one question ...
Without us whom they will try to let enter in Jannah? Now me and Allah only.
No complains with my lord just.
Just waiting for his justice.
@@theduosman5741 masla Bhai Mera nhi msla ye b hai k Salman agr ayen Gy to family k sth .. meri hr trf sy lagy pry Hain
Koi step nhi liya just brother Dil ye accept nhi KR rha na maan rha oska b kasur nhi wo bechari drti hai. Oski muhabat meri trhn strong nhi agr hoti Tu ajati mere sth.
My name is Ziyad .
I like a girl for nikah.We have been in love for 2 years and I have asked her father to do nikah with me but he is not interested in this relationship.Is there any way for me to nikah her I do dua every day after namaz. Is there any special dua?
Thankyou so much bhai ji apne mujhe mere khoye hue pyar se milvaya or meri family ko shadi ke razi kraya 15 din me boht shukria bhai ji ka
Jin bhai ji ne mera kam kiya h unka number meri hi profile pr lgyaa hua h maine jo bhi pareshan h vo call message kr skta h
Thankyou so much bhai ji apne mujhe mere khoye hue pyar se milvaya or meri family ko shadi ke razi kraya 15 din me boht shukria bhai ji ka
Jin bhai ji ne mera kam kiya h unka number meri hi profile pr lgyaa hua h maine jo bhi pareshan h vo call message kr skta h