This is funny to me. In my province, it has been illegal to change your name after marriage ( you need a special permission to do it) since 1980 and nobody died and no kid is left stranded motherless at the airport. It also makes it easier to trace your family tree since the mother's identity is not erased.
Exactly, your country got it right. I’m my country it’s extremely looked down upon for women to change their last names because it’s seen as erasing her lineage and identity.
I kept mine! Didn't change a thing - no changes to licenses, birth certificates, passport, etc. And well...all I can say is it saved me a whole lot of headache once we divorced!
@@jasonMB999 Wrong. This is purely a cultural idea. Why would you want the woman you love dearly to go through so much paper work and money for her to erase her heritage? If you’re going to make that a dealbreaker then maybe you’re the one who’s not ready the marry.
Ah yes ofcourse he would like his wife to take his last name, his kids HAVE to take his name. But the mother of his children cant have that same privilege, not even an option.
I kept my name. Why? Because that is who I am. In addition, 50% of marriages end in divorce and I understand that that can lead to a bureaucratic nightmare when retuning back your maiden name.
Let me be honest. I debated on this for a bit about whether to change my name once I was married. My husband left it completely up to me and I have absolutely no problem going by his last name. Ultimately I decided to keep my last name for the simple fact that I didn't want to deal with all of the paperwork. That was just a personal preference. I go by both names, however, legally I kept my maiden name.
Humans are social creatures and words have important meaning. If you disagree, try calling a judge something other than “Your Honor” when you’re in court and see what happens. That being said, a wife taking her husband’s last name and dropping her father’s name is a symbol of respect. If a wife doesn’t fully respect her husband, she shouldn’t take his last name. If she does fully respect her husband, she should drop her father’s last name and take her husband’s last name. It’s as simple as that.
I plan on keeping mine if I get married someday, only for the reason I really love the way my first and last name sound together, Jamie Jenkins. I don't want to lose that. Thankfully my boyfriend understands and has no interest in pressuring me to take his last name (assuming we get married someday). I see it as totally up to the individual. My older sisters (two of three are married) took their husband's last names and that's cool as well. Everyone should just do what makes them happy and find someone who accepts whatever decision they make.
In earlier days, the mother was always known by her labour delivery & presence thereafter. The father was not (because he's out providing for the family) so, the last name had to identify the father because you know who the mother is. Also, the man changing his name would show instability which is the opposite of what HE is RESPONSIBLE to provide.
Why wouldn't you just double barrel the name? It's the norm in Spain. And I do know a man who took his wife's surname because his wasn't as "exotic" as his wife's!!!
I say its a womans choice...just pick one, either keep your maiden name or change to your married name but ENOUGH with the stupid hyphenated names....DECIDE!
I know I don’t have experience in this area but I can probably say that, I’m the only that I know of because it’s just me…who’s not a fan of the “patriarchy” wedding tradition even though I’m not getting married anytime soon in my life. But I want to give you my thoughts on women’s changing last name, I don’t like it.!! It shouldn’t happen in the first place. If you change your last name that your parents gave you when you were born, that tells me that you are not A TEAM which is your parents and siblings and you don’t want to be part of it. Probably another reason is You hate your fathers last name. You don’t care about the family you spend 2.5 decades with which includes your siblings and don’t even want to be part of your first family. Whatever your last name is when you were born…That Who/What you are and the other last name of your husband is not Who/What you are at all!! You weren’t born with your husband last name or their family so your husband doesn’t mean nothing. That husband family is not as important than your first one.
No it’s not. In many cultures it’s normal for women to keep their last names. In what way is it insulting to you that your wife wants to keep the name she was born with and formed an identity with?
The whole custom is an insult to the woman. Why can’t be in place to the honored and respected where her partner take her name as well ? They just told you that in the video. This needs to be unpacked. I think mother surname should be normalized in society.
@@jill8573 becoming one. The man married her too. Thus he can easily take her name and become one. This custom must honestly die! There is no purpose other than grad sexist regime. There is absolutely no reason a family name to be the woman’s or any name for that matter. She can also expect name change from her man.
There is none. If you’re willing to make it a dealbreaker over her wanting to keep her BIRTH identity, then it was clearly never a genuine relationship in the first place. I don’t understand how it’s the norm in the west for women to erase their identities for the sake of their husbands.
@@naeysp when you get married, my dear, you're nolonger a "miss", you become "missus". You can never be "missus" your father, you are "missus your husband. If you want go be "missus my daddy's name", marry daddy. Marriage= new identity. When you're older you will understand.... you will be extremely excited to take his name, he won't even have to remind you. In the mean time go play barbie doll with your best friend 💕 . By the way your comment has been censored because you're being disrespectfull to marriage, that's not the way, young child.
@@jasonMB999 I am 19, thank you. I am saying taking your husbands last name is not the norm in most places anyway. That's primarily a western practice with the exception of a few other countries. Why is it new identity for the woman, but not for the male? As for understanding when I'm older, my mother is married to my father and still has her maiden name. They've been married since before I was born and her last name has had no impact on their love for each other. Even now, my oldest sister is married and she kept her last name. My neices have her husbands last name though. So far it has been 5 years and her keeping her own name has had no impact on their marriage. I would not be excited to erase my heritage and family, and a man from my culture will understand that because in Senegal women taking their husnands last name is seen as erasing her lineage.
@@jasonMB999 And no, my comment was not censored otherwise you would not have been able to see it. Thank you for your insight though. I see this is merely a cultural difference between people. I respect marriage, but I do mot respect the practice of a woman erasing her lineage for the sake of being married.
@@naeyspif you marry traditionally it makes sense for her not to change any names as it's not legal marriage, but once you marry legally for the state to officially consider you a married couple, my name is what's going under her surname. If she want daddy's name she can go marry daddy legally. I don't entertain this kind of whataboutism when it comes to marriage. Unless it's an unorthodox marriage where she's making large financial contributions. In which case i would probably divorce her before even marrying her because that will be the only thing she'll be able to offer +a whole lot of dumb pride.
This is funny to me. In my province, it has been illegal to change your name after marriage ( you need a special permission to do it) since 1980 and nobody died and no kid is left stranded motherless at the airport. It also makes it easier to trace your family tree since the mother's identity is not erased.
Exactly, your country got it right. I’m my country it’s extremely looked down upon for women to change their last names because it’s seen as erasing her lineage and identity.
I kept mine! Didn't change a thing - no changes to licenses, birth certificates, passport, etc. And well...all I can say is it saved me a whole lot of headache once we divorced!
That's why he shouldn't have married you. Any woman who isn't ready to change her name isn't ready to marry
@@jasonMB999 Wrong. This is purely a cultural idea. Why would you want the woman you love dearly to go through so much paper work and money for her to erase her heritage? If you’re going to make that a dealbreaker then maybe you’re the one who’s not ready the marry.
@@naeysp how old are you?... you don't have to answer
@@jasonMB999what a pathetic thing to say, you sound ridiculous
Women who lack commitment issues
Ah yes ofcourse he would like his wife to take his last name, his kids HAVE to take his name. But the mother of his children cant have that same privilege, not even an option.
Right, way it should be
Respect to the Husband
The kids don't have to take the husband name. Just make a new unique surname for the kids
@@zcorpalpha2462 nope
I kept my name. Why? Because that is who I am. In addition, 50% of marriages end in divorce and I understand that that can lead to a bureaucratic nightmare when retuning back your maiden name.
Very bad attitude towards your own marriage. You are probably the biggest mistake he made. He shouldn't have married you.
That’s why you are a bad investment.
No male should commit to this attitude
@@fearless608 cause you're a chump
@@jasonMB999anyone who married you will be the biggest mistake in her life because you will try to erase her identity and make her your property
@@jasonMB999 crying everywhere 🤣
I saw a teacher in high school who changed her name like 5 times becaused she had 2 failed marriages and it's sad. Be more independent..
Or be a better wife
@@xavierjamal8755 damn. You gave this "winner" life education in under 10 seconds
... Or better yet a better wife 💀
Let me be honest. I debated on this for a bit about whether to change my name once I was married. My husband left it completely up to me and I have absolutely no problem going by his last name. Ultimately I decided to keep my last name for the simple fact that I didn't want to deal with all of the paperwork. That was just a personal preference. I go by both names, however, legally I kept my maiden name.
Humans are social creatures and words have important meaning. If you disagree, try calling a judge something other than “Your Honor” when you’re in court and see what happens. That being said, a wife taking her husband’s last name and dropping her father’s name is a symbol of respect. If a wife doesn’t fully respect her husband, she shouldn’t take his last name. If she does fully respect her husband, she should drop her father’s last name and take her husband’s last name. It’s as simple as that.
By your logic if a husband refuses to take his wife’s last name he is disrespecting her.
I plan on keeping mine if I get married someday, only for the reason I really love the way my first and last name sound together, Jamie Jenkins. I don't want to lose that. Thankfully my boyfriend understands and has no interest in pressuring me to take his last name (assuming we get married someday). I see it as totally up to the individual. My older sisters (two of three are married) took their husband's last names and that's cool as well. Everyone should just do what makes them happy and find someone who accepts whatever decision they make.
That's nice, you should keep yours
In earlier days, the mother was always known by her labour delivery & presence thereafter. The father was not (because he's out providing for the family) so, the last name had to identify the father because you know who the mother is. Also, the man changing his name would show instability which is the opposite of what HE is RESPONSIBLE to provide.
For me i won't change my name. I'll create a new unique surname for the new house that my husband and i will built and our children inherit it
Why wouldn't you just double barrel the name? It's the norm in Spain. And I do know a man who took his wife's surname because his wasn't as "exotic" as his wife's!!!
I say its a womans choice...just pick one, either keep your maiden name or change to your married name but ENOUGH with the stupid hyphenated names....DECIDE!
When the assumption leave ? When will we see men taking woman’s surname gets normalized as well.
Totally agree!
What about divorce .... keep his name, even if there are not any kids? I think not.
Some women do it cause it’s so hard to change your name back. I wouldn’t personally.
I know I don’t have experience in this area but I can probably say that, I’m the only that I know of because it’s just me…who’s not a fan of the “patriarchy” wedding tradition even though I’m not getting married anytime soon in my life. But I want to give you my thoughts on women’s changing last name, I don’t like it.!! It shouldn’t happen in the first place. If you change your last name that your parents gave you when you were born, that tells me that you are not A TEAM which is your parents and siblings and you don’t want to be part of it. Probably another reason is You hate your fathers last name. You don’t care about the family you spend 2.5 decades with which includes your siblings and don’t even want to be part of your first family. Whatever your last name is when you were born…That Who/What you are and the other last name of your husband is not Who/What you are at all!! You weren’t born with your husband last name or their family so your husband doesn’t mean nothing. That husband family is not as important than your first one.
Yeahh I agree with it too, even in Islam a woman can't change their maiden name
Masculine dude like women = don’t wanna change last name
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 She gets it that it hers father's name, with all the feminism she insults her mother, her grand mother, her grand...... feminism 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's not feminism 🤣🤣🤣
It's about keeping the family name 🤣🤣
It’s an insult to your husband if you do not take your husbands name.
No it’s not. In many cultures it’s normal for women to keep their last names. In what way is it insulting to you that your wife wants to keep the name she was born with and formed an identity with?
Why is it an insult?
@@JK-nv6cj because she. You marry you become one. No keeping your maiden name. No hyphenating your name.
The whole custom is an insult to the woman. Why can’t be in place to the honored and respected where her partner take her name as well ? They just told you that in the video. This needs to be unpacked. I think mother surname should be normalized in society.
@@jill8573 becoming one. The man married her too. Thus he can easily take her name and become one. This custom must honestly die! There is no purpose other than grad sexist regime. There is absolutely no reason a family name to be the woman’s or any name for that matter. She can also expect name change from her man.
I woman who can't take my name is my girlfriend, the woman who takes my name is MY WIFE. Can you not understand the significance?
There is none. If you’re willing to make it a dealbreaker over her wanting to keep her BIRTH identity, then it was clearly never a genuine relationship in the first place. I don’t understand how it’s the norm in the west for women to erase their identities for the sake of their husbands.
@@naeysp when you get married, my dear, you're nolonger a "miss", you become "missus". You can never be "missus" your father, you are "missus your husband. If you want go be "missus my daddy's name", marry daddy. Marriage= new identity. When you're older you will understand.... you will be extremely excited to take his name, he won't even have to remind you. In the mean time go play barbie doll with your best friend 💕 . By the way your comment has been censored because you're being disrespectfull to marriage, that's not the way, young child.
@@jasonMB999 I am 19, thank you. I am saying taking your husbands last name is not the norm in most places anyway. That's primarily a western practice with the exception of a few other countries. Why is it new identity for the woman, but not for the male? As for understanding when I'm older, my mother is married to my father and still has her maiden name. They've been married since before I was born and her last name has had no impact on their love for each other. Even now, my oldest sister is married and she kept her last name. My neices have her husbands last name though. So far it has been 5 years and her keeping her own name has had no impact on their marriage. I would not be excited to erase my heritage and family, and a man from my culture will understand that because in Senegal women taking their husnands last name is seen as erasing her lineage.
@@jasonMB999 And no, my comment was not censored otherwise you would not have been able to see it. Thank you for your insight though. I see this is merely a cultural difference between people. I respect marriage, but I do mot respect the practice of a woman erasing her lineage for the sake of being married.
@@naeyspif you marry traditionally it makes sense for her not to change any names as it's not legal marriage, but once you marry legally for the state to officially consider you a married couple, my name is what's going under her surname. If she want daddy's name she can go marry daddy legally. I don't entertain this kind of whataboutism when it comes to marriage. Unless it's an unorthodox marriage where she's making large financial contributions. In which case i would probably divorce her before even marrying her because that will be the only thing she'll be able to offer +a whole lot of dumb pride.