I appreciate any and all support! ❣ JOIN! ruclips.net/user/DavidBadurinajoin THE BOOK! www.amazon.com/Caretaker-David-J-Badurina/dp/B08N5MX3N8 AUTOGRAPHED COPIES! www.davidbadurina.com BUY ME A CUP O' COFFEE? venmo.com/dbadurina_author | paypal.me/dbadurina THE SOCIALS! instagram.com/dbadurina_author facebook.com/author.dbadurina
This is me. 🙋♀️. Through a lifetime of experiencing abuse, abandonment, and infedilites, first with my parents, and then in my adult life, I have been guilty of this. All it takes is a criticism and in my mind my husband is already half way out the door ready to leave me for some younger, prettier, better, etc.... I almost destroyed our relationship many times during our first few years together. Thank God he loves me and is patient. This is something I have worked on and I think, with age and wisdom, have been able to overcome for the most part. I still have my moments, but I no longer allow those feelings to completely take over. I had to realize that only I could fix this, and just because I'm feeling it, doesn't make it real. I wish I had known these things when I was younger, but better late than never I guess. Lol
For me, recently realized about my assumptions, which then brings me a false conclusion. Then I have to test my assumptions and find they were false. Due to my broken lens. Good description broken lens. It hit me a few weeks ago that I open my heart too quickly along with the assumptions tagging along. It was quite an ephifiny. Now I can evaluate my experiences with a solid lens. With matters of the heart. My daily practice is in the area of my thinking and thoughts. When negativity arrives in my brain I choose to change the channel. I allow positive healthy healing thoughts hang around. I'm loving myself and respecting others which I find soothing and restful.
Guilty, guilty, guilty. And the rationalizations seems so real because the emotions behind them are so real. Head knowledge and heart knowledge are not always equal. Kind of like the angel (head)on one shoulder and the devil (heart) on the other… who am I going to listen to today?
Gaslighting = shattered sense of reality/truth. Reality breaks = survival mode for safety. Survival mode = reliance on emotion/escape Emotions = reality (idealistic, childish) Knowing the cycle is the start of healing the fears. Seeing how much of this exists in the world makes me shudder with despair. The only thing I can do is work on breaking the cycle with those closest to me. Too many people confuse emotional thinking with emotional intelligence. Absolutely not the same thing. Great video.
Strong emotions tend to become our experience as human creatures. Ex. I may be able to work out that there were 3 years between my father and sister passing by doing the math but my experience of them is they happened right after one another. I’ve had to work on stepping back and “doing the math” on the more traumatic of my life experiences so that I don’t overgeneralize or misreport. Ex. 2 Someone else’s actions may have had an effect on me but the layer of whether that was an intended outcome is not mine to ascribe.
Sadly & for reasons I’ll never understand, every guy I went out with cheated on me. I’m 63, so that’s quite a few. Either I attract the wrong guys(usually narcissists🙄), or I was a guy in a past life that cheated & karma is showing me in this lifetime how bad it was🤷♀️
I have question. I make it a point NOT to tell people how I or they “ should think, feel”. ..but it ends up with everyone telling me that I am wrong or sensitive..etc. I don’t do it to others but they sure love to do it to me. Am I wrong by letting others disagree and not try to make them see and do it my way???Been weird all my life. People love being my friend but I have no friends 😢🇸🇮🇨🇦🤗
Oh sweet David, you would be a broke therapist, doing things so quickly but,thank you. SOOOO...what happened to me in my past that makes me want to choke the people that send Jackie rotten plants?😁. 🥰💓
Communication is key. Don't use " you did this..." statements. Open up and tell how an action made you feel amd what you need. "I feel nervous when you ogle other people. I need to know that you still care for me."
I appreciate any and all support! ❣
JOIN!
ruclips.net/user/DavidBadurinajoin
THE BOOK!
www.amazon.com/Caretaker-David-J-Badurina/dp/B08N5MX3N8
AUTOGRAPHED COPIES!
www.davidbadurina.com
BUY ME A CUP O' COFFEE?
venmo.com/dbadurina_author | paypal.me/dbadurina
THE SOCIALS!
instagram.com/dbadurina_author
facebook.com/author.dbadurina
This is me. 🙋♀️. Through a lifetime of experiencing abuse, abandonment, and infedilites, first with my parents, and then in my adult life, I have been guilty of this. All it takes is a criticism and in my mind my husband is already half way out the door ready to leave me for some younger, prettier, better, etc.... I almost destroyed our relationship many times during our first few years together. Thank God he loves me and is patient. This is something I have worked on and I think, with age and wisdom, have been able to overcome for the most part. I still have my moments, but I no longer allow those feelings to completely take over. I had to realize that only I could fix this, and just because I'm feeling it, doesn't make it real. I wish I had known these things when I was younger, but better late than never I guess. Lol
Totally relate
For me, recently realized about my assumptions, which then brings me a false conclusion. Then I have to test my assumptions and find they were false. Due to my broken lens. Good description broken lens. It hit me a few weeks ago that I open my heart too quickly along with the assumptions tagging along. It was quite an ephifiny. Now I can evaluate my experiences with a solid lens. With matters of the heart. My daily practice is in the area of my thinking and thoughts. When negativity arrives in my brain I choose to change the channel. I allow positive healthy healing thoughts hang around. I'm loving myself and respecting others which I find soothing and restful.
So spot on David. Bless your heart.
Guilty, guilty, guilty. And the rationalizations seems so real because the emotions behind them are so real. Head knowledge and heart knowledge are not always equal. Kind of like the angel (head)on one shoulder and the devil (heart) on the other… who am I going to listen to today?
Gaslighting = shattered sense of reality/truth.
Reality breaks = survival mode for safety.
Survival mode = reliance on emotion/escape
Emotions = reality (idealistic, childish)
Knowing the cycle is the start of healing the fears. Seeing how much of this exists in the world makes me shudder with despair. The only thing I can do is work on breaking the cycle with those closest to me.
Too many people confuse emotional thinking with emotional intelligence. Absolutely not the same thing. Great video.
Guilty again as charged. But I thought I was the only crazy person out there that had this particular problem.
Used to be wise about this. Of course at the time, a 'yes-man' was cloaked as a friend. You can fill in the gaps.
David, thanks for the videos!
Very welcome!
Strong emotions tend to become our experience as human creatures. Ex. I may be able to work out that there were 3 years between my father and sister passing by doing the math but my experience of them is they happened right after one another.
I’ve had to work on stepping back and “doing the math” on the more traumatic of my life experiences so that I don’t overgeneralize or misreport.
Ex. 2 Someone else’s actions may have had an effect on me but the layer of whether that was an intended outcome is not mine to ascribe.
Sadly & for reasons I’ll never understand, every guy I went out with cheated on me. I’m 63, so that’s quite a few. Either I attract the wrong guys(usually narcissists🙄), or I was a guy in a past life that cheated & karma is showing me in this lifetime how bad it was🤷♀️
Terrible Val, hopefully all the happiness is yours these days!
@@DavidBadurina Thank you David. I am at peace when I’m in nature now that I’m a jeep dweller. I’m now more alert for those 🚩
I have question. I make it a point NOT to tell people how I or they “ should think, feel”. ..but it ends up with everyone telling me that I am wrong or sensitive..etc. I don’t do it to others but they sure love to do it to me. Am I wrong by letting others disagree and not try to make them see and do it my way???Been weird all my life. People love being my friend but I have no friends 😢🇸🇮🇨🇦🤗
I would just ignore their desire to control your reactions. 🤷🏻♂️
Oh sweet David, you would be a broke therapist, doing things so quickly but,thank you. SOOOO...what happened to me in my past that makes me want to choke the people that send Jackie rotten plants?😁. 🥰💓
I need to slow down, let the clock run a little? 🤣🤣🤣
@@DavidBadurina 😂🤣😍🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Communication is key. Don't use " you did this..." statements. Open up and tell how an action made you feel amd what you need. "I feel nervous when you ogle other people. I need to know that you still care for me."
🤗👍🕵️♂️
😽🔥
Has anyone told you that you look like Amiri King?
Definitely not, but I've always heard I resemble Brendan Fraser!